i went over to his place after he had messaged and called me a bunch. he was terrified that he was about to get raided by the FBI -- like they were about to kick down his doors. and he wanted me there, because if i had my medical marijuana card, he said they wouldnt take him away
and i just. cried the whole way there. knowing there was no raid. knowing he was just so scared and upset and alone and he needed me there
but it was so hard to go
the house was dark and quiet. he kept all his lights off. windows drawn. tv turned all the way down. hiding 24/7 and watching cameras
i sat next to him for awhile and tried to help him calm down. he asked me to take every last piece of potential paraphenelia out of his house. bongs. bowls. wraps. grinders. lighters. i said okay and we packed them all into a box
i told him i needed to get going not long after. i was getting so upset .... i wasnt gonna be able to hold it together much longer. i felt i was going to explode
and he looked sad i was leaving
weakly protested but then agreed when i said i needed to get to the pharmacy before they closed
and he hugged me
he hugged me. he was clinging to me with shaky hands and his voice was trembling and he said "im sorry for dragging you into this"
and i hugged him back so tight and rubbed his back and i told him its okay and that i cared about him a lot
and then i left . and drove a long time. and cried the whole time.