#and we are done with s12 yayyyy!!! 🎉

[higheldertala]

revolution of the daleks salt commentary

guess how many times they say the word dalek in this episode? (answer at the bottom)

funny how ch*bnall delegated the daleks as the holiday special villians and yet he still can’t get the ratings

this isn’t a specific ch*bnall problem, but i cannae stand the daleks sorry to be a fake fan :/ please can we put them away, seriously what more is there to say?

i hate how this episode was marketed as the doctor being out of the action and therefore the companions would be saving the day… but this is a ch*bnall episode so of course that didn’t happened. anyway on with the episode.

we don’t need to rip off star wars do we now? like why is this needed? nothing about this episode is based off or parodying star wars. you could just have a ‘previously’ or a ‘two years ago’ caption. thanks for reminding me how shit resolution was tho.

also to answer the question about whether i give a fuck about what happened to the reconnaissance dalek two years ago… no i don’t. tough shit for me i guess cause there’s 70 minutes of this :/

why is the text orange? choices were made here.

character work is when you have a side character say ‘i have a family’ then die.

also yeah this woman poisoning this guy is very contrived, like how would this woman know this guy would stop at this specific spot? also who does she work for? i assume robertson, but how does he know about the dalek and the transit? also when this guy goes missing when transporting an alien death machine wouldn’t that raise some alarm bells? god were only two minutes in and the plot is already falling apart, that must be a record.

you know how i complain about things happening off screen and the characters just saying the thing that happened offscreen, well for once i would actually prefer it they had done this this time instead of spending 10 whole minutes of this of characters i don’t give a shit about.

yay more social commentary being spelt out right in front of you(!)

also on my daleks are overused point, like it’s annoying how people just forget about the daleks in universe. not a ch*bnall specific problem but annoying nonetheless.

i’m sorry but it’s crazy that no one checked these dalek drones for secret guns they had.

i can’t believe how long the start of this goes on for without showing any of the main characters, but what’s pacing lol. a whole 8 minutes in til we see the doctor.

aside from the writing cliche of putting a character in prison when you don’t know what to do with them, this lasts all of a few minutes, god it’s pointless.

‘you can’t eat the cage. believe me, i’ve tried’ this is the funniest bit in the episode. even more funny the subtitles say ‘SIGHS’ from the pting.

these prison scenes are so dull. i presume that’s the point, but there’s so much more you could do with this concept.

on broadcast i thought the doctor was gonna recall a serial from classic who which would have been a much better decision. choices were made when ch*bnall decided to quote jk terfling.

first lense flare of the episode.

‘she was barely in here for a couple of minutes and yet she coded the entry lock to our dna’ and the point of this dialogue was….?

follow her? where? also she’s presumed dead. also going back to the timeless children, why the fuck would they let ko sharmus go out on his own and not one of them go out for the doctor. again no fucking loyalty but i digress.

also i wish at any point we were shown that yaz is the most desperate to travel and/or wants to be with the doctor.

‘what if she needs us?’ she doesn’t, you literally don’t do anything.

‘how many times has she saved us?’ i repeat myself from last episode, but like once lol.

how do they find robertson? is he conviently in sheffield? did they travel? i suppose it doesn’t matter and i don’t have the energy to care.

‘so we’re going to have to find another way’ so you mean sit around and wait for the doctor to come back. actually laughable that this is all the fam can achieve (nothing) without the doctor’s presence.

‘this is hard innit?’ YOU HAVE BEEN COMPANIONS FOR TWO SEASONS. literally the worst companions ever, please leave.

so with jack saving the doctor from prison, am i wrong in saying that the fam have never saved the doctor from any situation? lol. im pretty sure every companion has had at least one instance of saving the doctor during their tenure. or like at least 90%.

the prison scenes literally take up 5 minutes of screen time.

how does this tech guy know how to do successful alien cloning? like nah sorry im gonna need a bit more for this one.

lol another ‘i have a family then dies’ side character, does chibnall not know how to write any other way?

‘you don’t have a room, you’ve never had a room’ im sorry does she think jack slept on the fucking floor? i don’t believe this for a second, why does she say this???

i love how jack’s entire reaction to learning that the doctor went against his warning and gave ashad the cyberium is the single word: ‘what?’ and then this is never mentioned again during the entire episode.

‘i fixed it. eventually. just about. sort of’ no you didn’t, the cyber wars still happened and decimated the human population that ain’t fixing it :/

i guess it’s in character, but for the doctor to be really closed off even to an old friend like jack is so weird. like she doesn’t even mention running into the master or anything.

not my point, but ive seen someone make the point of that jack has also had memories taken from them from the time agency, essentially identical to the doctor’s situation and that this is literally never brought up in the episode.

honestly crazy that ch*bnall wrote for jack for two seasons and still he is reduced to background furniture. i swear he writes bad on purpose.

‘i was in prison for being me’ chr*s ch*bnall wrote this with his own two hands im crying.

more lense flares! also why is the camera at an angle. ive made a post about this, but the directing is so bad this episode and like most other episodes this era.

‘i was in space jail!’ she sure is Quirky™️ isn’t she?

yaz shoving the doctor is very funny. honestly where is that suppose to have come from.

i love the delivery of ‘10 months’ as super serious when so many other companions have waited years to see the doctor again, honestly it makes the fam come across as so wet.

chr*s ch*bnall literally wrote ‘oops’ (said by jack) as a response to that.

also the sad music as if someone’s died.

god this scene is awkward.

how did possessed leo get to osaka? did he just walk past customs with a squid on his back?

‘she’s good. yeah we all are’ …..um no comment.

‘yeah they killed me once, long time ago, no big deal…i can be killed but i come back to life pretty quick,’ why does he tell them this like that? it feels so unnatural.

‘partially her fault’ how is it partially the doctor’s fault? it’s a stretch to say that at the least.

‘partially a friend of hers on earth called rose but she’s trapped in a parallel universe now’ literally all of this is unprompted, why does he need to tell the fam any of this, especially since it would be a sensitive topic for the doctor surely? but hey it wouldn’t be a ch*bnall episode without our constant exposition dumps.

‘i saw the way you shoved her’ i hope ch*bnall never picks up a pen again.

i’m sorry i know this is Emotional Scene™️ and whatever but i don’t care about yaz as a character. none of this is earnt in any way, shape or form. i need the set up if you want me to satisfied with the payoff.

‘we lost each other’ either this is intentional from jack to soften it for yaz or chris ch*bnall doesn’t actually remember jack’s story. the doctor knowingly abandoned jack and jack knew this. yeah sure at the time jack didn’t know this and they moved past this but still weird choice.

also this is stupid because yaz does fuck all in two seasons so what the fuck is she missing. also rose’s speech in parting of the ways is 1000x better, here yaz is like ‘i miss it cant tell you why tho’ :/

‘the joy is worth the pain’ i guess this is a nice poetic line but this is my salt commentary so im gonna bitch about it :/ i think the conversion is a lot bigger then this and it’s a lot more complicated. like jack knows first hand what travelling with the doctor did to a.) himself and b.) to both rose and martha, was travelling ‘worth’ all the trauma they both suffered? idk saying ‘be happy even thought it might hurt’ is definitely one perspective i guess… idk where i was going with this. i think martha’s conversation with donna (and sarah jane’s to rose) is a lot more realistic. also yaz is like 21 here, i would of hoped jack would have had a more mature take on this situation, more than just ‘be lucky you’re going to be traumatised’.

‘are you feeling insecure? cos you seem to need a lot of praise’ literally no idea where ch*bnall pulled this line out of his ass from because im pretty sure insecurity has never been a key trait of jack’s. starting to think the chris ch*bnall who wrote torchwood was an entirely different person (aka i want to know how much of ch*bnall’s torchwood scripts were edited).

i hate the green lightning :/ why do they love doing this?

why the fuck are we letting robertson into the tardis??

‘this is about daleks. please stop using that word’ i second this motion. you know what im gonna count how many times they say dalek in this episode.

wait did they really put daleks on downing street cause that would be pretty funny. or aren’t tv shows allowed to film on downing street i don’t know.

‘you do love a beanie’ i know she’s suppose to be Socially Awkward™️ but god… the dialogue is always so awkward, i have never believed the doctor and fam as friends, let alone companions of two seasons.

‘four minutes til osaka’ it’s so funny ch*bnall takes time to signpost that we taking a four minute break from the plot to talk about feelings.

it’s quite funny tho because has the doctor and ryan ever had a one-to-one scene before?? honestly don’t think they have (correct me if im wrong). lol ch*bnall will never convince me these people are companions and not background furniture.

the awkwardness of this conversation makes it look like the doctor is in physical pain at having to make small talk to her so-called ‘friend’.

ch*bnall literally wrote ‘and how does that make you feel’ with his own two hands. i honestly don’t understand what people get out of defending this era.

‘if i’m not who i thought i was, then who am i?’ hey chibnall we did this last episode remember? you wrote it so you should.

‘you’re the doctor, same as before, same as always. right same doctor same ryan nothing’s changed’ weird how she’s perfectly okay with this advice from the fugitive doctor, but not with ryan.

nice advice/ consoling from ryan but again this is never earnt between the characters so ehh.

omg just thought ryan should had just said in response ‘i should say a reassuring thing now shouldn’t i? i’m still a bit socially awkward’.

‘thank you ryan for being my friend. thank you for being mine’ ….footage not found.

‘did you really have to bring him?’ again i second this motion.

this lighting has plot purpose but it’s still ugly as fuck.

‘you're feeding cloned dalek creatures liquidised humans’ this era never gets any less patronising to its viewers. also disappointing that doctor who veteran j*** b******** would accept such shit dialogue (or such basic characterisation for that matter).

‘there's something else that's bugging me’ umm… the quality of writing?

‘thanks yaz! missed you yaz!’ god this dialogue is so forced.

and now the dalek lights are red in case you didn’t know they’re now evil(!)

glad to see even jack now immediately backs down from conflict against the doctor. we hate it here.

this plan bad, as im sure you all know.

if they keep on saying the word dalek istg.

‘your bodies are too slow for daleks’ this is one of weirdest lines of dalek dialogue i’ve ever heard.

the extreme close up of the dalek, something something directing bad you know the drill.

‘yeah i can’t be spotted by the daleks!’ proceeds to park right in front of them.

‘maybe i can make a claim on insurance’, okay so that was a funny joke i admit.

bad guy of the episode goes to side with the bad guys, pretends to be shocked.

one of my favourite pieces of physical comedy is when the daleks rotate their heads to look at each other. i’m sure this probably isn’t even intentionally funny, i just find it hilarious and sassy of them.

‘you never forget your first death’ and jack is so hung up on this because…?

so is jack just carrying an abundance of bombs on his person or…?

‘no alien ship is safe from us two bad boys’ oh graham 😂

aw graham got left hanging, he didn’t deserve that 😔

if the daleks can locate the tardis now how come they didn’t before?

‘im captain jack harkness and im immortal’ imagine being happy with writing this dialogue, imagine being happy performing this dialogue. i have to ask. also why is ch*bnall obsessed with mentioning jack’s immortality when it bares no purpose to the plot. like yes ch*bnall i do remember jack is immortal you don’t need to keep telling me.

also like jack risks getting any one of them shot because he has to make Quippy Line™️???

ch*bnall loves solving the day by making the villian extremely dumb.

jack saying goodbye through ADR… hmm i want to know the tea.

i don’t know why the doctor frames ryan wanting to leave as ‘missed my time with you’ when ryan literally just gave his reasoning as it is because he has grown as a person and now know what he wants to do with life.

i mean ryan leaving does have its arc throughout the series so im not gonna say it’s not there but also im gonna not applaud a fish for swimming so.

‘she needs you’ there’s only so many times i can make the same joke… and im gonna keep making it, no she’s doesn’t lol (im sorry😅).

i will say that graham’s exit isn’t as good. not that that it’s unjustified, it’s perfectly fine but yeah less of an independent choice and more just following ryan.

nice leaving gift of psychic paper, just don’t tell them that others got a k9 😂

‘i could always use the tardis to go back arrive an hour after you guys, change the timeline. then we'd have more time together’ why is this doctor so bothered about companions leaving to this degree, she never even looked at them twice when they were on board. also the doctor has never reacted like this to any other companions and it’s not like the fam are that special lol.

also i noticed in the credits there’s a ch*bnall side character named after me lol. i think i’ll stick to my welsh biker girl thanks x

concluding thoughts: this episode definitely has some (2) nice emotional scenes in insolation, but 22 episodes in to start putting actual emotional development is just too little too late. jack ends up being almost a caricature of himself featuring all his Greatest Hits™️ of lines and quirks. nothing new is added to his character which is a shame. honestly the depth of emotion in torchwood s3 and s4 is so profound that seeing jack reduced to the gimmick of quirky sidekick is insulting to longtime viewers. aside from the start the doctor and jack barely interact which is also frustrating. the prison cliffhanger/ scenes are extremely pointless and add nothing to the plot or character as usual. the fam are the fam. not a big fan of dalek stories nowadays so i don’t really care much about it.

they say the word dalek(s) 91 times in this episode.