#and whether you've read and remembered As High As The Moon Above back then or this is your first time hearing about it

[furashuban]

So at first I was struggling to plan out and find inspiration for fics I wanna write for Sketchbook Ship Week, and suddenly I remembered wait, I DO HAVE SOMETHING FUN AND PERFECT I COULD WORK ON FOR SKETCHBOOK SHIP WEEK

It's the perfect time for me to bring this AU back from the dead...

[maryellencarter]

"low fast travel" run continues: having climbed all the way up to shee vaneer because i discovered you can see shee venath from a korok spot above bosh kala (look it's the photographic memory i'm pretty sure i know all 120 shrine names if i think about it okay? the totk ones aren't sticking at all though. i can clarify locations and associated puzzles about the botw ones but i'm not sure anybody reading this... cares really), i am now considering whether i'm stubborn enough to do the glide-and-climb *back* up to shee vaneer after solving shee venath.

(i am still doing them guideless or i could just look up the answers :P i had to look up some for my first all shrines run but once i've seen the solution it's much easier to understand the possible strategies to get there)

(technically "guideless" fell to "i have been around the entire circumference of the great plateau wall looking for a sword i know is here but my fucking irl perception check is not high enough to spot it" but i'm okay with that. i'm trying to rely *primarily* on memory and exploration, as much as possible. sometimes i need to know where to look and/or what i'm looking for, or i will Not See)

i am entertained to discover that from the summit of shee vaneer peak you can see ta'loh naeg through a gap in the pillars of levia, hinting you towards kakariko if you've been ignoring it thus far.

i really, really need to get back on the damn path though. i need hestu. i have nineteen korok seeds and i keep dropping perfectly good weapons i haven't even used because i only have eight slots, and i'm committed to keeping my basic tools on hand at all times: a torch, a hammer weapon, an axe, and a korok leaf.

(what am i gonna do when i've broken all the axes and they're not respawning because it's a no blood moon run? i rely so much on the respawning double axe at woodland stable. ...hopefully have the master sword or something? jeez. i usually try to save it for situations where it gets powered up, like the divine beasts and the castle.)

i did successfully manage the exploit to delay the blood moon for another week -- you save around 11:57pm in game, let the last few seconds run until the first frame of the blood moon cutscene hits with that BOOM, hit home and close the game, load it up from the manual save (not the autosave from the blood moon occurring), and the extra loading time squeaks past the "blood moon timer is reset to zero" flag but doesn't actually trip the "enemies and weapons are all respawned" flag.

the exploit itself is so simple you can do it by mistake, and in fact that's how the streamer I learned it from discovered it. The challenge comes from paying attention to the blood moons; remembering not to leave a shrine, divine beast, or the castle right after midnight unless you're sure it's not a blood moon night; not being able to roll over nighttimes with beds or fires unless you're *very* sure it's not a blood moon night; using your knowledge of the game to pace out your kills so that, for instance, you don't go after a lynel or a hinox until you have space for his weapon drops; the possibility of running out of weapons is a little higher in master mode because of health regen (calamity ganon in master mode is a *beast*, i doubt i'll ever play master mode myself for that reason, i'm too cautious to play a mode that doesn't allow for slowly whittling down health), but i'm sure it could also happen in normal mode, especially since there are just fewer total weapons in normal mode.

I don't know if it'll be physically possible to fill out the Hyrule Compendium without buying any pictures, during a no blood moon run. I'm stacking a lot of goals that I haven't seen anyone else do all in the same run. I know it's possible for certain weapons to go extinct in the game even during normal play -- I killed all 22 lynels in my main save without ever getting a mid-tier gear drop, because I was so scared of them that I put them off until they'd all evolved into white-maned or silver lynels. (There's a non-scaling blue one in the castle gatehouse for the compendium photo, but he won't drop his weapons unless you save-reload during the fight.)

in other news i have successfully parried a chuchu! it didn't damage it any though. shame.

[justsometarotblog]

PAC: How to Glow and Be Magnetic

Have you noticed that some people have a certain charm to them? They have a way of talking that captivates the room and a glow and radiance that is quite unique.

Ever felt that these people were special? Ever felt like there is just something to these people that not everyone has?

Well, let me tell you. The ability to do this is not restricted to certain people or celebrities. Everyone has the ability to tap into this. It's completely a mindset. The first step is to not feel guilty that you arent there yet or jealous of others who can do this.

In this reading, I'll be pointing out some stuff that you can be doing to achieve your own glow and charisma I've picked 3 famous people who are known for their glow and magnetism.

Piles go from left to right.

Pick the celebrity that radiates the most to you.

This is a Timeless Reading

1. The World, 2 of Cups, Hierophant, The Hermit, 6 of pentacles, 10 of cups

Pile one, it seems like you are already almost there. It's almost like you didn't even need to do this reading yet you were just curious. I feel like you have spent a lot of time recently coming into who you want to be. I feel like for some of you, in the recent past you have come to terms with a part of yourself that you have been struggling with. Whether this is body image, sexuality or a new belief system.

I feel like now you are currently in a place to really shine and be yourself but there's something holding you back. I think for some this would have been an authority figure. In the past when you tried to shine your light there was someone who held you back. They ridiculed you for being yourself. This was due to their own insecurity and had nothing to do with you. I think you are having a hard time dealing with that.

But this person is gone. The time to shine your light is here. Wear the clothes you've always wanted, get that haircut you've been dreaming of. I know you've been spending a lot of time thinking of this.

Your mind is aligned to confidence and radiance. There's no more need to overthink this. It's time to be who you know you are capable of being.

2. King of Wands, 3 of Wands, Knight of Wands, Hierophant, 4 of Swords, Judgement

Pile two, I am getting two different messages here. You will need to use a bit of discernment. For both groups you most likely have a fire sign as your sun, moon or rising.

I feel that some of you will really begin to grow when you take more of a leadership position in your life. This could be with your friends or this could be at work. The key to remember here is to not be arrogant or stubborn with how you are going to lead things. I think you need to focus on thoughts that make you feel warm and protected inside. Once you are able to focus on that feeling and let it set in your mind, you will begin to radiate that same warmth to others.

I feel that if you take a compassionate approach to your leadership and try your best to be cheerful and optimistic but not over the top. You will really begin to shine. It is important for you guys not to get carried away but to find a nice balance between serious and playful. When you fall into this energy you will begin to be more radiant.

Now to the other side of the reading. I feel like for some of you, there will be a mentor type of figure in your life. Most likely a male, who will help you adapt the energy above. You may clash initially but will realise that you work together very well.

I think that for both groups here once you begin to come into your own, you will begin a spiritual journey of some sorts.

3. 4 of wands, The Emperor, The High Priestess, 5 of swords, The Hermit, The Fool

Pile three, I feel that a certain bad energy has brought a lot of negativity to your own self image. For some, you have been hiding away recently due to a situation with a person or group of people that went terrible wrong. You saw a side of yourself that you weren't really comfortable with. For months now you've been struggling to accept this side of yourself.

I feel that this pile has high levels of both masculine and feminine energy that you bounce between. You are lead by a more masculine and grounded energy when you are alone yet when you are out and about and surrounded by others there is more feminine energy about you? You are a unique type of person.

For you to glow, you will need to accept your uniqueness. Imitating others will not help you. A lot of trial and error is needed and you will forge your own path towards being radiant. You are called to be an individual.

I see that for some a new group of people is coming into your life. Or a lot of new people have already arrived. These people have or will provide you with space to express your true self. The worry that was mentioned earlier will subside. You will come into your own after you realise that the reason you acted out of line is because the old people never let you be yourself.

[innuendostudios]

Thoughts on... some funny games

[no spoilers to speak of]

Thoughts on Lair of the Clockwork God

The wisdom of the gaming cognoscenti insists that comedy is hard to do in video games. Having grown up with Monkey Island and Zork, I've never found this convincing. But one true thing is this: it's hard to write about comedic games. The ineffability of humor is hard enough to describe in less-interactive media; I can't even explain to my partner why Gretchen saying "I met January Jones once!" on You're the Worst busted me up, and they were sitting right next to me when she said it. Throw in the "you had to be there" nature of the player's active participation and I lose myself in a cornfield. The thing I found hilarious might come a beat to early for you, or not at all, or not be funny in text like it is in gameplay.

Why did I like Lair of the Clockwork God? It made me laugh.

The premise and particulars are a lot of "that could go either way." Ben and Dan - stars of Ben There, Dan That and Time Gentleman, Please! - have returned. Ben is still an adventure game star, but Dan has adopted platforming mechanics in an attempt to get with the times. So playing the game involves switching back and forth between a character who can leap across canyons but can't pick up items or talk to people, and one who can combine inventory but can't climb over a 3-pixel rock.

Does that sound potentially funny? Potentially grating? Yes to both!

The plot centers around our heroes trying to save the world from several simultaneous apocalypses and having to teach human emotions to a supercomputer in order to do so. (Don't ask.) These means, rather like Ben There, Dan That, traipsing through a number of fantasy worlds (read: computer simulations) until the correct emotion is provoked. This requires cross-genre cooperation: finding ways to get Ben to areas only Dan can access, getting Dan new power ups by combining objects in Ben's inventory (an act Dan insists on calling "crafting").

The best bits are at these intersections, when Dan's platforming is the puzzliest and Ben's puzzles take advantage of Dan's skills. Periodically the game gives you a Dan-centric platforming gauntlet the controls are NOT precise nor pleasant enough for, or a Ben-only moon logic puzzle that leaves you googling the walkthrough.

But I liked it! A lot. The genre-hopping seems to have invigorated the developers, Ben Ward and Dan Marshall. I discussed my favorite joke in Ben There, Dan That (in what is probably the least popular video I've ever made that wasn't asking for money), but was also dismayed that the game was never that clever again. But this one is, several times over! Progression here involves cheating your way to a better respawn zone, goofing around in game menus, exploiting "glitches," exiting out and loading up entirely other games. There is a lot of poking and prodding at what a game of this nature can or should be.

But, honestly? The only real selling point is... it was funny. The humor is as anarchic and metatextual as in previous titles, but it feels good-natured in a way BT,DT didn't. And there are, here and there, little bits of meat on its bones - the characters wondering if, as a couple thirtysomething white guys, the world hasn't left them behind, no longer comfortable with the juvenile humor of their youth but not really understanding the youth of today, but having not yet fully escaped the mentalities they used to hold. (There's an unspoken humor to Dan's idea of "modern" gameplay being 2D platforming mechanics, especially at a time when adventure games are significantly more popular than on his last outing; this is a good joke whether or not it's intentional.)

Also: this game contains the most poignant urinating-on-a-grave puzzle in gaming history, and you may quote me on that.

Having finished it months ago, I can't even remember what all the gags were that tickled me at the time. Comedy fades from memory faster than drama or frustration. Mostly I just remember having a good time.

Thoughts on The Darkside Detective

Here's a hook: sometime after the mayhem ends in Ghostbusters, The Exorcist, Evil Dead 2, or some other paranormal blockbuster that you watched over and over in the 90's until the VHS wore out, some overworked detective has to come into your town and piece together what the hell happened.

This is his story.

It's a good gag, and the devs wring every drop from it. Existing in a world where these things are commonplace and you have to fit them into some notion of "police procedure" is just funny. Like, it's one thing to have a running gag where you keep observing the moon in outdoor scenes, commenting, with increasing hostility, that its behavior is suspicious (it has been present at multiple crime scenes); it's a slightly different thing when, given the things you've encountered, the moon being the Big Bad is actually somewhat possible.

The game is divided into six main cases and three bonus DLC missions (which come included in the base game now, and the third of which is the proper ending/setup for the sequel). You are the cop tasked to deal with The Other Side - and, when The Other Side bleeds into our own world, its cops have to deal with you. You have a sidekick with a mental maturity of about 6, which I guess makes you the straight man. (You have to grade on a curve to find a straight man in this game.) And you solve tasks like rounding up escaped gremlins or finding an AWOL lake monster all juxtaposed with mundane problems like inter-office squabbles and having not bought your Christmas presents early enough. It's (pleasantly) lo-res and sparsely isolated, so the dialogue and premise do most of the work, but they are ably up to the task.

The gameplay... not so much. I'm an adventure game lifer, so I can put up with a lot of nonsense. It's mostly straightforward inventory puzzles and occasional minigames. Most of the puzzles are fine enough. As the cases progress, things get more involved, and the DLCs especially involve some awful moon logic. And the minigames are not above using that same jumping peg puzzle you've solved in a dozen other games already. So gameplay ranges from serviceable to irritating, but it mostly exists to string together funny lines and silly images. (Christmas mall elves being secretly in service to Krampus - that's the kind of thing we're talking about here.) You won't feel much guilt for opening up a walkthrough; the puzzles aren't why you're here.

The sequel has just been released, and both games are cheap, so check them out if you feel like smiling.

Thoughts on The Procession to Calvary

It's rare for a game to be hilarious to look at.

The Procession to Calvary takes its name from the Bruegel painting. It also takes all it's graphics from Renaissance oil paintings, and the designer delights in making famously rendered heroes and religious icons steal, stab, fart, and swear.

A strong Terry-Gilliam-with-After-Effects vibe is what we're describing.

You play as a lady knight from a war that's just ended, which sucks for you because, in this age of peace, you're no longer authorized to kill. And killing's, like, you're whole thing. But the one person your new, pacifist king wouldn't stop you from killing is the warlord you just deposed, who fled to the South. So you embark on a nonsensical journey to seek out the one human on Earth you are authorized to kill, because killing is just The. Best. Ever.

Of the three games we're discussing, this is the most overtly cheeky, and, at times, the most scatological. I could've done with a bit less scatology, if I'm being honest, but the cheekiness is very winning. As with Lair of the Clockwork God, a lot of jokes could go either way - a field of people being tortured and a woman on a blanket selling commemorative torture merch could be painfully try-hard. But something about the victims being seemingly everyone ever crucified or broken on the wheel in a famous painting, and having them writhe on their crosses in a way that is both gruesome and goofy, and having a cacophonous soundtrack of their screams and moans that you will now imagine every time you look at one of those elegantly elegiac paintings from now on... it works. That the music score is being played by an extremely jaunty piper who dances behind you just out of sword's reach as you traverse the field pushes it over the top.

Oh, and the puzzles, while never hair-pullingly obtuse, will leave you stumped at times. Push past that to get the proper ending, but, if you're sick of trying, you can, at any point, just start stabbing your way through problems. Which, again: it takes a very deft touch to make "protagonist resorts to violence" actually funny rather than lazy and obvious. And maybe, in another game, the perfect timing of every animation, the clever quips, the careful contrast of cathedrals and high-society music halls with gleeful sword-swinging wouldn't be enough. But something about it being frickin' Renaissance paintings carries it the last mile.

This is probably the basest game of the three, but it's also the one that made me giggle the most. Having a BFA that required several art history classes may have something to do with it. But check this thing out.