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funshape · 1 month

Text

new kaz song. challenged myself to make the worst hyperpop track of all time like literally horrible garbage unlistenable shit and this is whati came up with. not even the sound effects are right it got fucked up in the mixing and now they all play wrong this song is genuinely unsalvageable. enjoy. album art by @4taro

LYRICS:

My oomfs are the best oomfs ever

My oomfs are the ones I'd never sever

I got a perc and its shaped like Waluigi

Met a they/them named Tooth one time (yeah)

My oomfs are the best oomfs ever

January, Feburary, March and December

Never smoked a ciggy but I can flip it like a tech deck (2x)

Met a girl at my show, she said her name was Beast (hi Beast)

Would it be funny if I put in a lyric about feet? (I don't know.)

I think Spongebob and Patrick, Squidward too, are stalking me (I'm Spongebob!)

Got kicked out of the studio I kept fartin on beat (DAMN)

Take Ohio away from me (FUCK)

I'm like if eminem was a neet (im not white though.)

I'm like he/him Mr. Beast

I know your dni says "no South Park Fans", but can I come in, PLEASE

My oomfs are the best oomfs ever

My oomfs are with me till forever

I name all my money after women

Can't stop naming my money after women

I sell guns to ants online, like, all the time, man, giving ants machine guns

It's fine cuz the guns are small and each bullet is the size of a pebble

I got a warrior cats oc named DickAss

And if you're a hater, shut up - I didn't ask

Saw your dad yesterday wearing a fucking stupid hat

HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE YOU WERE AT

Don't call me, don't come by my house,

Cuz you're stupid and you're ugly and you dress like a mouse

You will never find love, you will never find a spouse,

You don't talk, you just spout

uhhhhh fuck just put in some fuckin shit from that one anime lain here fuuuck umm

(And you don't seem to) Fuck with me

(And you don't seem to) Get it

Cuz you're a fuckin' local,

YOU'RE ONLY ON REDDIT

My oomfs are cool as fuck

My oomfs all have some swords

My oomfs, My oomfs,

My-my-my-my-my-my oomfs

My-my-my-m-m-m-m-m-my

We all hung out in a coffee shop called Poopy's

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louebel · 9 months

Text

— [ 𝐑𝐄𝐉𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄 .ᐟ ]

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: g5 luffy × gn!reader 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨/𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: 1717 wc, spoilers for wano... kinda? sfw, fluff, all fluff. a lil' goofy, plot is kinda w a c k y, kaido almost kills you but not in the way you think — and i can't he just looks so silly 'n lovely. i wanna hug him so bad 'n swing him around like a whip. look at him, LOOK. and dripping divider by @ benkeibear !! 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: as the fight continues, you can't help but worry for luffy. you decide to reach him... and you realize it was stupid of you to think he'd be in trouble.

"Luffy!"

Specks of dust littered everywhere. Debris replaced what were once massive boulders, crumbling beneath the force of one of the Emperors of the Sea and the man who would one day become the King of Pirates; your captain.

Your eyes widened at just how battered the top of Onigashima was. You shouldn't expect any less from them, but it still baffled you. They were so unbelievably strong. So strong you couldn't help but be worried.

You believed in Luffy, of course, you did. But when fighting such monsters... even he could have a hard time. So you made it your job to reach the top floor and get to him, the same medicine Zoro was infused with resting in your hands (you stole it) — it was no easy task and probably the dumbest thing you could ever think of, but somehow, you managed to do it. Surprise overtook you before as guards were taken out by a surge of haki coming from above; one that managed to shake you too. It was tremendous. You felt a little light-headed from it, but thankfully you handled it well.

As tremendous as it was, you could tell who it was from. It wasn't from Kaido, no. Some of the shockwaves you felt before had violence, brutality, and bloodthirsty intent oozing from them. This one, however, was very different; almost... warm.

Then, you reached the top. And here you are.

Other than the landscape, the air around you was rather chilly. Distinct from inside, another dimension altogether. Too cold, somehow refreshing. A shudder traveled down your spine, goosebumps all over your skin. The moon above was lustrous, the sky limpid and not as bleak as before. You felt at peace.

Which was weird considering...

"OOOOH!"

There was a dragon coming right towards you.

"... H—huh?"

Jaw slackened, eyes widening — your expression morphed from concerned to straight-up comical in less than a second. There was Kaido, in all of his glory, flying in your direction at probably a thousand kilometres per second and you remained still, not even running because whether you did sprint away from him or not the outcome was still the same. Death.

That one time you do something dumb you regret it. How could you possibly dodge that gargantuan lizard? You were an ant compared to him — wait, were you dreaming or he looked as shocked as you? — you were done for.

"AAAAAAAH!!"

Screams tore from both of your lungs in unison. Then, the ground beneath you turned... malleable, making you lose your balance and fall — the long blue dragon right above you crashing in a nearby pillar, pebbles and rocks scattering like fireworks. You, on the other hand, were sent in the air thanks to the elastic pavement.

Boing, boing, boing.

Perhaps luck was on your side... strangely enough. The floor felt oddly comfortable; soft yet stiff, the texture not at all feeling like dirt and rocks. Groaning, you pushed yourself up, shaking your pulsing head, the ache faintly going away.

"Heeeeey!"

Then, a call; one that made you snap your neck with how swiftly you looked up. Not just a sound. It's him.

Your pupils dilated at the sight — he was so... different. And yet, it was still him.

"Oh? Oooh? Is that you? It's you! It's you!"

How sweet his voice,

"It's youu~ it, is, you!"

how warm his presence,

"Look at me, look at me! Heeeey! Look at me!"

how lovely he himself.

"Ah..."

"Shishishi! You're looking!"

Your heart might've stopped at that moment. Did he know? He seemed to know. Grinning, laughing, ah, he's coming closer and closer. Luffy, Luffy...

The little mantra in your head replayed in your mouth, his name slipping out unconsciously — the corners of his lips curving up; broad, glowing, and so so familiar, so comforting. His hair seemed velvetlike to the touch... Perhaps it resembled rubber? No, marshmallows. He was a big marshmallow right now. Was he even real?

"Yeah! That's me! It's me!" twirling, bouncing, flailing around; he did not stop at all. Oh, no, he didn't — not until he saw you laugh. Not until he heard that precious sound. He had to do it now that you were here. You were worried, weren't you? He could tell. That slight inclination of your brows — He had to ease you!

There was nothing to worry about.

... If only he knew you were just analysing him with extreme concentration.

"See? See?"

He spread wider and wider, his arms suddenly changing course and going straight towards you — at the speed of light. He's so, so energetic for no reason. But he always was, wasn't he? And you've always loved it.

"Luffy..."

You wanted to ask what happened to him. How he felt, how he was, what he was, what was going on. But nothing left your lips, other than a breathless, inaudible mumble of his name. It made him laugh, and with that same buoyant tone, he shouted yours. You could not help but melt further.

"Yeah! It's me, it's me!"

It's him. Luffy. The tottery wobble of your knees quickly became a full-on quake, you couldn't move, you just couldn't. He seemed to — no, he knew. Your brief struggle, your sudden hypnosis.

At that moment, something, in the back of his mind, called to him,

"Come to me. Please come to me."

And it oddly resembled your voice. It came from his heart. Instinct, perhaps — plain as that. Who was he to not follow it, he who always did? It was alright. You didn't have to move at all. He'll come to you.

"I'm coming there! I'm right there!"

His hands finally grasped your shoulders after he yelled. So precious, so... silly. Yes, it's him. He hurled himself like a rocket, just to briskly stop right before you, his face now smashed against yours. His appearance was so different... so adorable. He will always, and inevitably, be him,

"Luffy."

"Shishishi! Hey! Hello!"

Not even Heaven could compare to him. Nothing could compare to him.

The biggest grin on the planet — his cheeks, faintly pink and so warm under your palms, were crinkled as he showed all the rows of his teeth. Dazzling, rotund vermilion eyes met yours, twinkling moreso at the sight of you. You looked so pretty right now. Did you know? He always thought you looked pretty. But you had something different now, something he couldn't describe with words. Though his tongue wouldn't collaborate, he could tell it was positive. You... you're—

"You look weird!" ironic how he spurted out those words when he's the one that metamorphosed. Even his clothes... once a vibrant red, now a blinding white.

"Ah... it's just — you're..."

"Me?"

Luffy tilted his head, his grin remaining. "You're wonderful, lovely, ethereal," is what you wanted to say if only your voice hadn't failed you, stuck in your throat, struggling to be liberated. A few moments passed, your mouth agape and your captain happily waiting. Then,

"You're..." something came out, "so, so... beautiful, Luffy. I can't... you know?"

Ah, there it is.

See, he knew! And so, he laughed. And laughed, and laughed, and laughed; boisterous, contagious laughter that never, ever ends, the one you could hear every time you were down, for he would always bolt there where you sat, no matter what. A constant reminder that you were never alone. He will always be with you.

"Hehehe. I do!" chuckles and giggles seeped from his sentences, rending them clipped and broken. So warm, so warm — your chest mimicked his soon enough, sweet laughter bubbling from your throat too, lighting him up. If a fire was in his heart, now there was a whole festival. Your voice was so, so..! You know?

"You, pff, you do?"

"Yeah! Hahaha, I do! I do!"

If anyone were to see you both, they'd probably think you were out of your minds. You could picture it, your friends scolding you both, just to laugh after too. It was, so normal, so simple, yet it made you smile even more, and that caused him to do so too.

And then, then, he couldn't help himself; please forgive him, okay? He really couldn't help it! Those limbs that stretched so far to grab you, were now enveloping you both like a cute little present — hehe, a cute little present! — getting tighter and tighter, but not too much, just perfectly. Torso heaving up and down, his curious, rough yet tender hands coming to rest on your cheeks, his chortles fortissimo as he poked, pressed, squished them; nimble fingers pinching and pulling the skin, making you giggle even more. It did nothing to ease the heat within you, oh no it didn't. There was only more. More, more and more.

Was he greedy? (He was,) Look at you — you were so happy! You're enjoying it! You're laughing! He wanted to see you happy, always. The crew, his friends, you, you...

Maybe he was a little greedy (so greedy.) But for you, he'd gladly be.

"Oh, Lulu... Luffy!"

"Yeah!! Yes! Heheeheh!"

You both managed to pepper each other with some kisses — his giggles so cute and mellow — before the reality of the situation struck you both. The enemy's sluggish roar rang in both of your ears,

"Oi, Strawhat! What the hell are you doing, getting all kissy-kissy with your partner? I thought we were fighting!"

Right. Your captain was supposed to free this country. You both forgot.

"Oh, right! Kaido!" he perked up, untangling himself from you and shifting his attention to the enormous blue reptile, "Sorry, I got distracted. It'll take no time, just watch!" he tenaciously said, though a noticeable pout was on your lover's face.

"Y—yes, Lu... Go kick his ass." you muttered dreamily, a dumb dopey grin on your face, as you watched your boyfriend building a weird-looking cage with the floor to "protect" you before goofily walking up to Kaido, bouncing around in a frenzy like a spring.

All that was left was the show. And boy... did you have fun watching him beat that overgrown reptile up — your cackles fuelling the Warrior of Liberation. Soon, he'll hear the others, too. Soon, everyone's laughter will echo in this land, free from torment. He'll have a big, delicious banquet with you...

And all will certainly rejoice.

#one piece imagine #one piece scenario #one piece x reader #one piece x you #luffy x reader #luffy x y/n #luffy x you #monkey d luffy x reader

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