#antideadpressure

[maxskellington]

I don't approve of physical violence in these sorts of contexts usually, however I think getting to slap my ex in the face, at least once, full fucking force, would fix a lot of my problems.

[crematorcasserole]

Hey! If yall wanna keep up with my other art/posts, check out my personal blog! @maxskellington it’s for personal art, commissions, or just anything not related to Half Life, Portal, TF2, etc. 

warning tho I do post vent stuff on there sometimes jsdjksdjlkfaj so if yall don’t want to see any of my edgy shit just blacklist the tag antideadpressure before checking it out.

[maxskellington]

It's so unfair that one person can just fuck me over so hard and then not hear a word of it. They can just walk away without facing any accountability or guilt.

I feel incapable of socializing almost entirely now. I feel undeserving of love and company and companionship. I feel like I'm not allowed to be happy anymore. Idk.

I know shit never would've lasted, you said it yourself, you didn't care as much as you ever said you did. But god dammit you couldn't have ended things in any better way??

[maxskellington]

Why can't I just quit my job and kill myself I hate this shit sm

[maxskellington]

Every time I find myself getting upset all over again I need to remind myself that !!! HE DIDNT GIVE A SHIT!!! BOY he led you on for THREE FUCKING YEARS!! Broke up with you because of a trauma relapse, lied about wanting to be your friend, ghosted you repeatedly, and then got mad at you when you justifiably got upset.

Like Jesus Christ stop wasting energy on the thought of someone who never fucking cared.

[maxskellington]

Wow!!!! I am killing myself in three days.

[maxskellington]

Fucked up and miserable tonight lads

[maxskellington]

I feel just jkdfjkash completely ok with the thought of dying tbh. I'm not entirely upset or in the midst of a breakdown I'm just tired of life. There's nothing rewarding in my future, it's just gonna be a nonstop capitalist grind to survive.

There's no chance of me going to college, getting a house, following the careers or hobbies I like, having a kid, making a family, that's just not in the cards for someone like me.

[maxskellington]

I hope I work up the courage to kill myself some day soon.

[maxskellington]

God I'm still so fucking frustrated.

I feel like I was forced to move on from everything so fucking fast just for everyone else's sake, but like!!! I was told to fuck off and leave the family gathering on Christmas day, I was forced to cut off my family, sorry I'm not all fucking sunshine and rainbows!!!

And I'm stuck faking being totally normal and it's fucking exhausting. But hey everything I struggle with just makes everyone ELSE so fucking upset and that's SOOO awful guess I just gotta forget everything and move on like nothing happened.

Literally the same shit my parents say to me when I try and stand up for myself when I'm being treated like shit. Feels great man.

[maxskellington]

It's all my fucking fault anyways. I wreck everything I touch and fuck up every good thing I have eventually. Guess it was bound to come full circle and leave me with nothing huh.

[maxskellington]

I feel so fucking shitty and inherently evil for just!! struggling and having issues and being fucked up and exhausted and confused. Everywhere I look just says I'm evil and like yeah guess I am, guess I'm also evil for feeling evil cause how stressful that must be for the people around me and the """""people that care""""

bullshit, its always about everyone else and never about me, why can't how I feel matter for once. That's asking too much, shitty af and exhausting and obnoxious.

[maxskellington]

I wish killing myself was easy.

[maxskellington]

I wanna die overdosed on pills, alone in the cold and buried under the snow. I want to forget about everything and be left with no more bullshit to worry about.

[maxskellington]

I DONT WANT A FUTURE!! I WANT TO SLEEP FOR A HUNDRED YEARS!!

[maxskellington]

GOD this is so fucking frustrating. No one gives enough of a shit about me to help or listen. My shit is so fucking messy, my parents can't even stand me enough to have me areound for a holiday.