#any butch is welcome to call on me to deal with a bug

[stonefemblues]

What do you think of butches who are scared of spiders? Asking for a friend of course, it's not me who is scared.

i will happily come to your [friend’s] rescue and gently escort any spiders out of the house and then hold your hand and tell you fun facts about the diverse and beautiful spiders of the world until you grow to appreciate them

[number1alienlover]

I’ve always been apprehensive about making friends in general because of longterm abuse from toxic friends, but since I’ve started going to LGBT support groups, I’ve formed so many deep and meaningful connections with other ladies and it feels good to finally have friends who can relate to me and my struggles. It is also such a relief to finally have gal pals who just accept me as who I am. There’s no pressuring me to be more feminine, to try a little bit of make-up because I just might like it, no calling me nasty and gross and saying no man will ever want me because I’m hairy, no mocking and criticizing the way that I dress, no not so subtle jabs at my body type, etc. I really feel bad for my former gal pals because I’m sure they must have been dealing with some pretty bad internalized misogyny themselves and in turn, when they saw this masculine and butch girl (me), they automatically saw her as someone who needed to be fixed asap. I know we all do shitty things when we’re young and we all probably had problematic behavior during our teen years, but the amount of damage those so-called friends did to my self-esteem is unreal and I’m still dealing with the effects of it today. I’ve been dating femmes for a long time now and when I had my first femme gf, I worried she might start treating me the same way as my straight gal pals did, but she didn’t. She didn’t judge me for liking sports. She liked picking clothes out for me and she never made fun of me for wanting jeans and shirts several sizes too big for me. She didn’t bug me about trying on makeup whenever we went through the makeup aisle at the store because she needed more mascara and eye shadow. She didn’t pressure me to wear my hair a certain way even though she went to get her hair and nails done every other week. She never made fun of me for always wearing the same ponytail and she never asked me why I was wearing a “boy’s hairstyle” whenever I wore my hair braided back. She always told me how beautiful I was, even when I didn’t have time to shave and was ashamed to show my face to her because I had so much facial hair. She used to text me every morning to remind me how much I meant to her. I have no personal beef with straight women and anyone is welcome to form a friendship with me if they aren’t a crappy person, but this is why I’m so damn offended whenever anyone dares suggest that femme lesbians and straight women who have feminine mannerisms are the same because no they are not. My ex girlfriend was one hundred times better than any straight girl I was friends with in school. She wasn’t a homophobic piece of garbage suffering from internalized misogyny. She wasn’t a bully who felt threatened or disgusted by women who looked different from her.  She was a literal angel and I loved her with everything I had. All of my femme girlfriends were nothing like the straight women I’ve known in my life and I’m so damn glad they weren’t. There’s pressure on me to conform to a certain beauty standard even by the straight women in my family so I don’t want to hear any bs about how butchphobia and internalized misogyny isn’t real because it is.