#anyway . balaga IS just for fun. <3

[pocketsizedquasar]

hey no offense but uhhh

hey balaga ho balaga hey hey ho balaga hey hey balaga the famous troika driver hey balago ho balaga hey hey HEY balaga hey HEY balaga the famous troika driver!!!!!!!

[abacus-and-paper-money]

(Inspired by @deltasrogue 's post on great comet characters if they were at an actual club, go check it out it's fucking amazing)

Ranking Great Comet characters based on how they would be at a sleepover

Andrey- 1/10. Seems sort of uncomfortable all night, but not uncomfortable enough to do anything about it or leave. Spends the whole time in the corner on his phone, being controversial on social media and getting into twitter wars. Goes to sleep first.

Natasha- 7/10. Would 100% host the sleepover. This was her idea. She would have so many goddamn activities planned. Would win the pillow fight but only because everyone else let her because she looked so happy. An angel. Definitely a cuddler, too. Only problem is she's pretty naïve and maybe a little too innocent for Dolokhov and Anatole's ideas.

Sonya- 4/10. Still nice and fun to hang out with sometimes, but too goody-two-shoes for most of the really fun stuff. Wants everyone to lay off the junk food and go to bed at a decent hour. She ends up just playing board games with Mary all night, which is 10/10 for both of them.

Marya D.- 9/10 sleepover parent. Brings you snacks. will remind you to go to bed and shit, but knows you actually wont. She doesn't care, though. Trusts Sonya to keep you all out of trouble and goes to bed early, sleeps heavily enough not to hear the chaos going on downstairs.

Anatole- 9/10. Really brings up the energy of the room, always has amazing (occasionally mildly illegal) ideas. Probably sneaks in a little alchohol after Marya goes to sleep. One point knocked off for posting everything on snapchat and/or instagram every five seconds, but other than that, super fun to have with a big group.

Hélène- 9/10. Makes sure everybody looks their best if you guys go out at all. Always picks dare, and doesn't use her one 'chicken-out card' all night. Will braid your hair or do your nails if she gets bored. One point knocked off for occasionally muttering something mean about sonya or mary under her breath.

Dolokhov- 11/10. The true mastermind behind all of Anatole's ideas. Strategically knows when to pick truth or when to pick dare to keep it interesting. Fucking MERKS Andrey with a nerf gun the second he gets bored, much to Andrey's annoyance. The only game (excluding sonya and mary's board games, which nobody else is even a part of anyway) that he doesn't win all night is the pillow fight because everyone let Natasha win. Will be the human pillow when you finally go to sleep at 5am, and complain about it, but secretly like it.

Old Prince Bolkonsky- 0/10. No.

Mary- 3/10. Feels pretty awkward but definitely would rather not go home. At first she tries to stop Anatole and Dolokhov from actually doing their chaotic-stupid ideas, but gives up pretty quick. Ends up just playing board games with Sonya all night, which is a 10/10 for both of them.

Pierre: 2/10. Probably wouldn't even come, and if he did he'd just sit on the couch and read or something. At least he's not starting twitter wars like Andrey.

Balaga: 40/10. This needs no explanation, Balaga absolutely drives your dumb asses to get pizza while BARRELLING down the road at like 90 mph. You have no recollection of what happened at all last night by morning.

[hadestowntm]

Ranking musicals I know by least to most homophobic on a scale of 1-10

in a completely objective way that has absolutely nothing to do with my own personal experiences whatsoever (I’m lying)

2. Rent. I’m taking a point off of this because it makes me sad. I know that’s the point and that’s why it’s good but I’m petty and this is my ranking system.

3. Frog and Toad. They are gay and in love. Only criticism is that they could have made it more textual.

4. Les Mis. Technically doesn’t contain any canon gays but not in a homophobic way. Should technically be neutral then but the amount of gay fanon produced I think merits a point this side of neutral.

4. Chicago. No there are no gay characters but it contains cell block tango which makes me gayer every time I see it.

4. Once on This Island. I’ve only seen this once when I was like 9 and I barely remember it except the lead was a super cute girl and definitely led to my gay awakening so this gets a bonus point for that.

5. Hadestown. True Neutral. There are no gay characters but not in a homophobic way especially because it’s about characters from old myths. Also Andre deshields is gay and brings that gay energy to hermes in my opinion. And tall guy is gay and I like him.

5. The Sound of Music. No gay characters but it’s set in world war 2 so it’s not like they could be out anyways. Max is probably gay if we’re real about it, and at least one of the nuns is probably gay. And statistically one of those kids is probably gay.

5. Ragtime. Same as sound of music. There’s no gay characters but I can’t blame them. And Emma Goldman is definitely a lesbian. Probably younger brother is gay too.

5. Hamilton. Neutral but in a homophobic way. I do enjoy flamboyant Thomas Jefferson but he was a slaver and the sally reference makes it super nasty. And I also feel like they could have had some hints at romance between Hamilton and Laurens because it’s an interpretation after all but it was for sure the fear of a homophobic response that made them not do that. Don’t get me wrong I’m not a shipper I just think it could have been interesting especially because right after laurens dies Hamilton dives really hard into his work. Could be coincidence but it could have been cool to maybe wonder otherwise.

5.5. Hairspray. I feel like this musical should contain a flamboyant gay character but it doesn’t.

6. Great Comet. This should have contained a gay character because the chaos could definitely handle it and it would have been fun in that long ass introduction. Pierre could be gay in subtext but I would like text. Balaga is probably gay because could a straight person be that iconic? No. But I need the text fam.

6.5. Wicked. We all know elphie and Glinda are gay and in love but fierro is still the romantic interest. The balance here between the gay rights of showing elphie and Glinda’s relationship and the homophobia of making sure it didn’t look too gay is delicate. But fierro is a nice beautiful man with a beautiful voice so at least there’s that.

7. Newsies. Same shit here as wicked except worse because they don’t show the bond between davey and Jack as much and the love interest can’t sing.

7. In the Heights. Nina was supposed to have a gay brother but that was removed which is lame because then there were zero gay characters. And then there’s that little bit of gossip in the intro song about a guy cheating on his girlfriend with a dude which I find mildly homophobic.

7.5 Oklahoma. No gay characters and also it takes place in the south which is a homophobic place and gives me hives just hearing about it.

8. Book of Mormon. I mean to be fair this is expected. The gay guy telling the story about shutting off the gay feelings is just depressing. I mean I guess it’s funny but it’s also so depressing. But I think we can extrapolate a happy ending for him? So at least there’s that.

9. Guys and Dolls. I feel like this is self explanatory. What about guys and guys and dolls and dolls? However I was in a production of guys and dolls and played one of the chick chick chickadees so I can say with certainty that the musical could contain unknown lesbians.

10. Dear Evan Hansen. I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain this but either him or Connor should have been gay but the writers were cowards and just made gay jokes instead in a musical literally about teen suicide when gay teens are more likely to attempt suicide. Bad taste

[intoanewlife]

great comet 8/5 matinee

so first of all, great comet was amazing, not that i was expecting anything less, but still. i saw the matinee on 8/5, sat in the front mezzanine (house left, row A seat 3. 10/10 would recommend this view) and pretty much everyone was the usual cast except anatole was blaine alden krauss, sonya was ashley perez flanagan, and mary was courtney bassett. and they, and everyone else, totally killed it

so here’s some of the stuff from the performance i saw (under a cut because its A Lot):

pre-show: -the cast came out for the pre-show stuff, with the boxes of pierogis, and heath saunders (i believe) came right by my seat, asking who wanted one. i shouted ‘me!’, and he immediately tossed me one, so i guess enthusiasm helps. they all did like little PSAs about cast coming through and the strobes and no recordings, and heath did this little thing about making room for actors, like, heath: *gestures to seats* this is yours *gestures to aisle* this is mine *points to me and gestures to my seat* whats this? me: mine heath: *gestures to aisle* and whats this? me: yours heath: good job, 100%

prologue: -when anatole introduced himself and said “he spends his money on women and wine” he said it to a guy sitting next to him, who responded with one of those ‘sup nods -on the last big run-through of naming characters, when someone’s name was said, they were lit up in spotlight, spun in a circle and took a shot, which was great -paul pinto did a super quick costume change from balaga into what i think was a servant? anyway i glanced away for like a second and suddenly he was someone else, i was impressed

pierre: -ok first of all, oak is incredible. like, there’s something very sad and tired about his pierre, but at the same time, there’s a sense of youth in certain scenes, so despite everyone calling him old man, he feels like his canonical age and i loved it -right before pierre sings “you empty, you stupid contented fellows”, anatole walks by and toasts him

moscow: -when marya delivers her first “welcome, welcome to moscow”, all the audience members around her jumped on the first ‘welcome’ because it was so loud lol -marya was so enthusiastic about a game of boston, the whole audience laughed -when marya tells natasha to be kind to andrey’s sister, mary walks right between them, which i thought was cool -also at the start of the song, i saw mary trying to help old bolkonsky to his chair and he kept brushing her off

private and intimate life: -in that pause right before “people enjoy me though”, nick totally drew it out, and lights came up on the audience to his left and he stared at them for a long time. one girl did a little wave with the finger waggle and he did it back lol -when mary sings ‘yes father, yes father’, the lights all over the theater, including all the lights on tables, pulsed in time to the beat -paul pinto as the servant is hilarious? he’s all hunched over like he’s igor and he shuffles around the scene -when bolkonsky is freaking out about his glasses, marya is playing the cow bell looking so unimpressed it was hilarious

natasha and bolkonskys: -it was so awkward yet so funny, the way they not only put themselves at a table, but in a spot totally inconvenient for everyone sitting there, so there was a lot of scooching chairs around and giggling audience members -natasha had the most disney-worthy forced smile the whole time

no one else: -i had heard the staging of this was beautiful but thE STAGING OF THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL -the lights going blue! the way natasha practically floats around the stage the whole song! when andrey appeared in the snow! -i was in a spot so my view was natasha directly behind andrey, and i watched him read her letter as she stared at him longingly and let me tell you i was crying -when andrey hurries off, natasha chases him a bit, so then she’s the one in the snow and it was emotional -also pierre seemed to ignore a lot of things going on when he’s not in a scene and just sitting in his tavern, but he was watching natasha this whole scene

the opera: -when pierre says he’s enjoying himself at home he waved cheerily to the audience and gave an overly-enthusiastic thumbs up with a big grin, which immediately vanished when the lights on him faded -when natasha and helene meet, its like, there is no hetero explanation for it, they both sing their lines while reaching out to the other -marya sweeps in and grabs natasha’s shoulders and physically turns her away from helene -the opera was so weird but so great, one of the opera dancers, after the music stopped, kept making this weird noise you can hear in the soundtrack, and just? kept going? long past anything else? it was hilarious -the lights came up on natasha and sonya and sonya had this cute head tilt like ‘????’ and natasha’s jaw was dropped, eyes wide, it was so funny -anatole entered, and god, with blaine i could finally see what natasha saw in anatole because damn -OK SO ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS was when the opera performance was ending, andrey was getting “killed” right? except after he does, all the other “actors” clear off and he’s alone, all bloody and torn, and natasha had ended up in front of pierre’s tavern at that point, and andrey was on the other side, and he just stares longingly at natasha, until she turns around and spots him and realizes its him. they both circle pierre’s tavern, reaching for the other, and andrey has that red ribbon from natasha’s letters dangling from his hand, and where pierre had been ignoring the opera until then, he looks up and right after natasha saw it was andrey, so did he, and he jumps to his feet and watches natasha and andrey circling and reaching for the other with the saddest expression on his face and mY HEART

natasha and anatole: -for the entirety of the interactions between natasha and anatole down by pierre, pierre is reading with one hand over his eyes, not seeing any of it -yeah anatole totally primped in the mirror before entering the box, and then he struck a pose and waited for natasha to notice him -when natasha is all “as handsome up close as at a distance”, they’re standing behind a railing and anatole is looking away, and natasha leans her elbows on the railing and puts her chin in her hands and stares at anatole in that schoolgirl crush way. she immediately straightens up and turns away when he turns back

the duel: -when pierre is talking about natasha all “and long carried affection for her”, the way anatole says “yes. charming” basically translated to ’cool story bro’ -once it gets to the club, basically everything happens so much? people are everywhere, the strobe is going, andrey is being dj andrey 3000 in pierre’s tavern, THE OUTFITS, marya’s catsuit had me dying, pierre just drunkenly stumbles all over -on helene’s “he will kill you, stupid husband’ her voice broke, she was so upset oh my god, both anatole and helene were both so genuinely concerned when dolokhov fired, god my feels

dust and ashes: -holy shit oak is incredible, he’s a gift, he’s amazing, i love him -he actually flubbed a lyric near the beginning, but he absolutely killed the rest of the song -it was like a slow gradual build, where he started out sounding tired and then it crescendoed into this heartfelt longing and i cried and i died -let me tell you, hearing dust and ashes in surround sound (pierre in front, cast behind in rear mezz) is An Experience and i’m pretty sure thats what heaven sounds like -the applause was enormous and very long, which was great

sunday morning: -yeah i loved how pierre was right behind natasha when she was looking the mirror -marya was right next to our section when she did the “suuuuunday morning, time for church!” part and i basically got that at point blank range, which was amazing thank you grace mclean

charming: -natasha spends a lot of the song imitating helene, which was pretty cute. it started out when helene wasn’t looking, then by the end they were both doing the same gestures with their skirts and stuff

the ball: -at one point natasha and anatole are dancing together, but they’re across pierre’s tavern from each other, so they’re both doing the motions like they’re dancing together, but separately, which actually looked pretty cool -when natasha tells anatole she loves him, his face is so much ‘...what.’, god what a fuckboy

letters: -when pierre was talking about wanting to be in the war, he was like pretend-firing with the pistol he used in the duel, it was cute -when natasha and pierre sing “i see nothing but the candle in the mirror, no visions of the future...” they sing it facing each other -”a letter which i composed” had anatole whirling around to face dolokhov with a ‘cmon man why’d you have to say that’ kind of gesture and expression -oh my god anatole’s ‘just say yes’ bit. he did the first one standard, but the second one, he paused first then dragged the yes out for forever, then the third one he paused even longer and then he did like ‘just...say...yeeeeesssssssssssssssss’ and slowly got higher while grabbing onto natasha and god it was just hilarious and so Extra

sonya alone: -ashley fucking killed this one and i cried and the applause was so big -also pierre seemed like he was ignoring everything after his bit in letters, like he had in act 1, but he was watching this whole song

balaga: -pierre got up and joined the dancing with a shaker in each hand, he was having so much fun, i loved it

abduction: -anatole’s ‘whoa’ was so long oh my god -when pierre did his thing and everybody dropped, he bent over, stayed there a while, then stood up, looked around, and giggled, like he was so pleased -during this pause, everybody had dropped to the floor, except marya and helene who were standing side by side holding hands  -marya was banging the huge drum after pierre’s bit, which was so cool, and helene played that drum for a bit earlier, but i can’t remember when -when anatole yelled for everyone to sit, he rushed up to a stage right table, and literally shoved and pushed at the guy sitting there, complete with dramatic grunting sounds, then plopped down, gave the guy the ‘sup nod and they fist bumped. anatole then let the pause drag on for so long, half the cast started looking exasperated, including pierre lmao -fucking marya’s entrance was so good holy shit. she delivered the line so calmly and crisply like, ‘you. will. not. enter. myyyyy house...ssscCOOOOUUUNNNNDRELLLLLLLLLL’ and it was amazing, anatole fucking bolted

in my house: -marya was so calm at the start of this song, it was kind of terrifying -when marya says to let natasha sleep, sonya is approaching natasha, and marya like, snarls at sonya

a call to pierre: -pierre was asleep at his desk at the start -there was a super cool lighting effect here, where marya had sat down on stage right, handed the letter off, and the lightbulbs hanging overhead lit up in a line (like they flashed one at a time) that went out into the audience and all the way back around to stage left where the letter was handed off to pierre -pierre’s ‘what’s started off kind of confused and calm, but once marya said natasha had broken with andrey they became more shocked and aggravated 

find anatole: -oak actually missed the first ‘find anatole’ at the start because he was trying to get into his coat -he totally shoved paul pinto out of his way -anatole has his head in helene’s lap when pierre enters, and when helene is all “ah pierre, sweet husband’ i always thought it sounded kind of sly on the soundtrack, but when i saw it, helene sounded more genuine and concerned -when pierre is all angry and “more repulsive to me than ever”, he stalks towards the siblings and they spring apart and helene actually throws herself out of pierre’s way and they both looked so nervous when pierre asked to speak to anatole

pierre and anatole: -god this scene was intense, and oak plays pierre with such a tightly-bound rage, it was kind of frightening -when pierre is listing what anatole needs to do, anatole got angry and swiped everything off pierre’s desk -”amuse yourself with women like my wife” helene looked so offended and pierre delivered “then youre within your right” directly to her, ouch -natasha poisoning herself was so intense, she screamed and ran offstage and both marya and sonya ran after her

natasha very ill: -pierre helps marya to a chair, while everyone just slowly settles somewhere

pierre and andrey: -i had heard andrey shoves pierre, but when i saw it, andrey just straight up jabbed pierre in the chest and when andrey walked away, pierre just sort of rubbed at the spot

pierre and natasha: -here’s where i died again, because as soon as i saw natasha come down the stairs clinging to the railing i was crying -on “she began to cry” oak choked up and it was painful -when pierre called anatole a bad man, helene lifted her head looking pained, then when natasha said “don’t call him bad”, helene smiled sadly and lowered her head again -during this number i saw helene, marya and mary all crying so there was that -pierre delivered The Line to natasha’s back, since she was leaving, then immediately turned his back, which gave me a perfect view of pierre crying and wiping at his eyes. he didn’t turn back until natasha was right behind him again and he jumped, then the face touch was so tender and beautiful, and natasha had to shuffle forward a little to reach, god it was so pure great comet of 1812: -this finale was so beautiful and oak did an amazing job with this simple and quiet song, i loved it and the lighting effect that makes the comet was great, and the front mezzanine was a great place to see it

ok so this was really long, but i noticed a lot, and it was such a good show. if i could see it a thousand times more, i would, and i’m so thankful i got to see oak in it. long live the great comet!

[areyouwho-ithinkyouare]

‘Natasha, Pierre & the Great Comet of 1812′ songs explained

Prologue - Memory game: Russian names edition

Pierre - My life is shit, my wife is a bitch, i’m an alcoholic with severe depression, but hey - at least i can play the accordian!!!!!!!

Moscow - oh sure pal, the big city looks exiting now but just you wait a few weeks until you've had a scandalous affair, rejected your fiance, been abandoned by your lover and tried to commit suicide. THEN tell me how you’re “so pleased to be” here.....

The Private and Intimate Life of the House - my father abuses me but i still love him

Natasha & Bolonskys - my in-laws h8 me ad i h8 them. family dinners are gonna be awkwaaarrrdddd

No One Else - am i more in love with the moon or my absentee fiance???? who can tell.

The Opera - all the real drama is happening off-stage

Natasha & Anatole - Sexual Tension.mp3

Natasha Lost - oh no does someone touching my arm count as cheating?? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

The Duel - I’m drunk and don’t give a shit anymore!!!!!!!!!!!! fucking SHOOT ME dolokhov, you bitch!!!!!!! I dare you!!!!!!!!! actually now i think about it i do want 2 die so u can if you wanna

Sunday Morning - There are two kinds of people in the world: those who go to church, and those who ask their sisters to help convince an engaged woman to have a scandalous affair

Charming - Helene can't speak french, so she lets the funky music do the talking

The Ball - someone kissing me doesnt count as cheating, right? 

Letters - the 1800′s version of breaking up with someone via text

Sonya & Natasha - sonya: natasha, no!      natasha: natasha yes!

Sonya Alone - A good friend who does not deserve to have to do all the emotional legwork in this relationship does it anyway

Preperations - that girl i’ve known for 3 days and rlly wanna fuck???? imma kidnap her!!! smell u later bitches im off to poland

Balaga - that girl you’ve known for 3 days and rlly wanna fuck???? imma HELP you kidnap her because it sounds FUN!!!!!! EVERYBODY DANCE!!!

The Abduction - foot fetishes

In My House - Marya Dmitriyevna exasperatedly makes good points for a solid 2 minutes while natasha cries

A Call to Pierre - we have a major crisis on our hands - lets call the local alcoholic for help!

Find Anatole - godfuckingdammit anatole you utter shit also i hate my wife

Pierre & Anatole - 

Natasha Very Ill - ..................... (she straight-up tried 2 kill herself i can't make this humerous)

Pierre & Andrey - natasha’s ex-fiance & future-husband, who are best friends, discuss the affair she had with the future-fiancee’s brother-in-law, who was also sleeping with his sister aka future-fiancees current wife, who in turn was definitely hitting on natasha earlier in the story. yep.

Pierre & Natasha - middle-aged man starts to have romantic feelings for someone barely in her 20s while remembering her as a child

The Great Comet of 1812 - pierre decides to interpret a sign of the apocalypse as a good thing

[abacus-and-paper-money]

Hi, I love your blog and asking about opinions on characters... so, if you had to rank the great comet characters from smartest to dumbest, how would the order go? (side note, I listened to “Moscow” today, and after knowing the whole plot of the story, hearing Marya D. call Natasha “clever,” made me laugh. I love Nat, but she uses her heart way more than her head.)

Omg thank you so much!! I love love love getting asks and i literally can't believe my opinion on stuff matters to people- I've actually been wanting to do this anyway!!

[Disclaimer: don't come for me ok plz this is for fun] and without further ado,

The Dumbass Scale of Natasha, Pierre, & The Great Comet of 1812 (smartest to dumbest)

1. Hélène Bezukhova. She may seem like just another idiotic, self-centered socialite at first, but Hélène is a master manipulator. She somehow convinced Pierre to marry her when they clearly don't love each other and probably never have, got Natasha to come to the ball, got two dudes to fucking shoot at each other over her, and is generally the queen of society.

2. Fedya Dolokhov. I know, I know, I'm biased because he's my favorite, but he's definitely smart. Even if we exclude the Narrator Dolokhov Theory(TM), he still organized an entire elopement, which would've gone off without a hitch had Sonya not found out. He's clearly good with people, since he's so high in society, was able to rustle up 10,000 rubles, etc. Oh also he's a legit ASSASSIN-

3. Sonya Rostova. Sonya is pretty damn astute, and although she didn't notice the signs of the plan immediately, She realized soon enough, and just by the changes in Natasha's demeanor. Her observations, determination, and quick thinking was enough to throw a wrench into Dolokhov's entire plan.

4. Marya D. Marya's got a no-nonsense air about her that comes with people who don't have time for bullshit. She knows her way around Moscow, and everyone would rather smash their head into a wall than tell her otherwise. Despite being an older woman with no title, Marya is highly respected and even a little feared, moreso than some of the more powerful socialites. She's great at commanding attention.

5. Pierre Bezukhov. I know you probably expected him higher on this list, but this man is kind of an idiot. He's very book-smart, with the ridiculous amount of studying he does, but that's about it. He somehow failed to put the pieces together that Natasha was Anatole's new girl, and we all know how he was in Letters. My dude was going a little insane. "Most dear, most kind, most smart," not sure about that third one, guys.

6. Mary Bolkonskaya. Mary's a bit of a tricky one to place, seeing as she's probably intelligent, but the fact that she obeys so dutifully to her asshole of a father kind of overcomes most of it. It's one thing to have intelligence, it's another thing entirely to put it to use. She allows herself to be walked over constantly. Still love my girl though, sweet baby does NOT deserve this.

7. Old Prince Bolkonsky. Also incredibly hard to place, and you probably expected to be lower on this list. He's literally fucking insane, but somehow retains the knowledge needed to manipulate and shame Mary into doing what he wants. He's got an unshakable amount of cunning to him. Also, he's got enough brainpower to 'utter scathing critiques,' on the fly, which isn't that easy. Comebacks are an art, dude.

8. Anatole Kuragin. Do I even need to explain myself? Anatole is a gigantic fucking idiot. Dumb boy. Stupid. Anatole "nevermind the fact that im married, im now in love with this girl ive known for 3 days, we're going to run away now, lend me 50 rubles" Kuragin has no brain. None. Zero. Except for maaaybe his way of charming people, but honestly that doesn't seem like he's putting in effort there. He's just really pretty.

9. Natasha Rostova. Somehow has even LESS brain than Anatole. Honey, I love you, but you're stupid. You actually need to work to be this stupid, it's almost impressive. I still love you with my entire heart though.

People not placed on the chart:

Andrey Bolkonsky- we really don't see enough of him for me to get a solid understanding of his idiot-genius ratio.

Balaga- you try and place Balaga on here and see how that works for you, it's literally impossible to put him in any box. He'd break out and blow up a walmart or something.