#anyway do not do edibles if you are on an ssri

[tibli]

vyvanse isn't enough i need to do speed

[tootyfrootycasbooty]

hey vicky, what’s your stance on mixing SSRIs and recreational drugs? have you had any bad experience with that?

ummm definitely down to the individual! i personally have had a lot of bad bad experiences doing it but like.....i have no impulse control and im very self destructive so i still do it and fuck myself up which is. Bad

generally, if you’re on SSRIs then there’s no point in doing mdma, most times you won’t come up at all but you will still get a very intense comedown afterwards. IT IS A WASTE OF MONEY AND IF YOU’RE LUCKY NOTHING HAPPENS, IF YOU’RE UNLUCKY, YOU WILL GET FUCKED UP (I.E. PSYCHOSIS) and i say this from lots of experience. i kept trying. it does not work dont do it. also mdma is just Bad for ppl with mental illness, i would say 80% of the reason i ended up on SSRIs was because i was self medicating my depression/anxiety with mdma and it totally destroyed me. it doesn’t happen to everyone but like....be careful....don’t be tempted to stop taking you antidepressants because you wanna ping on mdma or coke....i fight this stupid temptation all the time. it took me about 9 months clean to get past mdma/psychosis related trauma. basically....it’s just like doing shit speed

benzos (e.g. diazepam/valium, lorazepam, etc) are fine but the higher dose of SSRIs you’re on, the higher dose you will need for benzos to take effect in my experience. i think this is the same for ketamine (ive only done ket once and i was on lorazepam at the same time so i cant rly say for sure)

speed is fine and apparently the same but i hate speed anyway, it just makes me prangy. love yourself and dont bother doing speed lmao

cocaine APPARENTLY should affect you normally but i find i don’t really get a high on it or any of the effects apart from numb mouth. this is an ongoing experiment for me lmao idk. i never took it when i wasnt on SSRIs so i cant compare

weed is Safe on SSRIs but again, you may not have a Fun Time. i used to be able to smoke a lot and have a bunch of edibles and still have the time of my life, but since being on antidepressants i can only smoke a tiny bit of weed before i bug out, get super paranoid and end up spiralling. (however i did enjoy smoking weed when i was on lorazepam bc my anxiety was taken care of lmao but in no way do i recommend this........). but i know a lot of ppl who swear by weed while still of SSRIs, it’s rly up to you. if it doesn’t mesh, don’t push it! i know there’s a lot of pressure from ppl (especially Vice and Vice readers) to believe that there are no bad consequences from smoking weed, and that it doesnt cause mental illness and can treat it (!!!!), but for some people it genuinely does make pre-existing mental illness much worse, especially with chronic use. if you have negative experiences with it that’s ok - weed doesn’t work for everyone, even if you used to have v positive experiences with it! i’ve been in hospital with people there for cannabis induced psychosis....it’s very real and serious

hallucinogens interact normally, i’ve done shrooms with SSRIs and it’s fine as long as you don’t put yourself in an bad environment (i had a terrible trip last time but it wasnt my antidepressants, it was bc we ventured outside to a open air bar with many strangers which was a terrible idea for anxious ol’ me!!!!). ive never done acid because i’m fucking terrified but i believe it’s no different on SSRIs!

also nos is sound lol no problems there

be safe....dont indulge too much.....remember that you’re on SSRIs for a reason and stuff like mdma/cocaine/speed/ket is probably not conducive to getting betterif you take it too much and abuse it. make sure you’re with good ppl who you trust because the danger of anxiety killing your vibe and therefore fucking your high is much bigger xoxoxoxo

[thediabeticslut]

Basic Bro | “Thanks for sucking my dick”

dates: 🍦🍦🍦🍦 sex: 🍦🍦 awkward diabetes moment? no (date rating guide here)

choice quote: “How would you rate my dick on a scale of one to five? You know, like a Yelp review.”

~SCROLL DOWN FOR DICK DEETS~ This is just slightly embarrassing to admit, though it shouldn’t be: I’ve never dated or hooked up with anyone I’ve gone to school with. Well, hadn’t ever. The convergence of fatness, depression, awkwardness, shyness, low self-esteem, ssri-induced lack of libido, and diabetes-induced lethargy basically assured that. But now I’m finally back in school, and with weight loss and a dye job, society has finally deemed me attractive and desirable. Super fucked up, right? Alas, here we are. I’d had a crush on Basic Bro since the first day of class. He wore a rad silk bomber jacket (so on-trend!) and spoke up often with a uniquely cool bravado. He seemed smart, engaged, and like he really cared about school - basically, everything you want in a classmate, and also a good deal of what turns me on. One day, I ended up sitting next to him, and he struck up a conversation. The classroom was hot that day, or maybe it was just me. I was only wearing a light flannel, but I was sweating tiny bullets and could feel my face reddening while I prayed that my light layer of makeup could adequately cover the intensifying physiological signs of a developing crush. He spoke smoothly and confidently, and we had one of those oh-so-satisfying whispered conversations, the kind that make you feel like you’re in your own little world, the kind woven with climactic tension. The tension isn’t sexual, and it’s hardly even flirtatious, but it’s enough to leave you smiling and wondering for the rest of the day. “Do you understand what she’s saying?” “Yeah, I think she’s talking about Freudian psychoanalysis.” “Damn, you’re smart, huh?” “Hah! Hardly.” He asked for my number, “Just in case I need to know about, like, class stuff. ‘Cause you seem like you take really good notes.” And indeed, I was left wondering. He did eventually text me, but just about class. But that evolved to larger conversations about school, and then, at his behest, just plain conversation. Yeah... I started to get the sense he might be into me. Of course, I was into him, too, but one of my biggest hesitations was our age difference. I just turned 24, and he’s 20. Or, as he phrased it, “I turn 21 in December.” With younger guys, of course, there’s a greater risk of immaturity, but I didn’t want to make any assumptions. What really held me back was my own shame. I’m a textbook late bloomer, always feeling a bit behind in life, and dating someone younger would feel like proof of that. I’ve internalized the message that women who date younger men are desperate, losers. For what it’s worth, I also judge men who date younger women. I generally follow the half-your-age-plus-seven rule, which tells me that 19 is my lower limit, but that still feels way too young. I decided to proceed with caution and told myself that barring some amazing display of maturity and compatibility on his part, this would just be a hookup. I kept talking to him, but I also kept Tindering in hopes of finding an actual relationship (I know, I know!) Unfortunately, Basic Bro did start to show signs of immaturity. He skips class often - he’s probably only been to half of them, and it’s a once a week class. Then, when I invited him to a study session, he stopped responding to my texts and only got in touch the next day to tell me he’d accidentally slept most of the day. But then, he asked me out... kind of? “hey would you like to hang out sometime? maybe we could study more, or not” I’d figured out by this point that this kid has the mentality of a high schooler. But my crush hadn’t fully faded, and it was high time to hang out with someone I’d met in real life, rather than on a dating app. So I did. DATE 1 He flaked on our first meeting (no surprise there), but we finally met up for pizza last week. Since he almost never comes to class, and since I have a class right after ours, I hadn’t actually talked to him much in person, most of our contact was over text. When he showed up, it was supremely awkward. He didn’t have much to say, so I had to put on my bubbly face and force-feed him conversation. I had to wonder if he was just like this, or if he was nervous because of me. I was pretty positive he was into me, but I wasn’t actually sure whether this was a date. He did pay for the pizza, though, and was awkwardly chivalrous in constantly refilling my water. I guess that’s a sign. When we were done, I asked, “So what do you want to do now?” “Uh, we could walk around and talk, sit on a bench and talk, sit on the grass and talk...” Another sign. We did all three, walking around the local college campus and chatting. We mostly talked about basic things - school, family, interests, life goals. I quickly learned that he’s not the guy I initially saw him as. I don’t know how to put this tactfully, but he’s... simple. I don’t want to call him stupid, but he was very basic in a way I didn’t quite expect. Hence Basic Bro. But that, in a way, emboldened me. My inhibitions were lowered and I was able to be more honest with him since I wasn’t concerned about making a perfect impression or proving myself in any way. We’d spent about 3 hours together and my denim shirt was becoming inadequate for the evening cold. I told him this in hopes he’d put his arm around me, but he didn’t, and it was actually really fucking cold, so I invited him back to my apartment so I could grab a sweater. Of course, I wouldn’t mind if we didn’t go back outside, either... As it turned out, his phone was dead, so I let him charge it, and we just stayed inside. He seemed to be in no hurry to leave, but he didn’t make a move, either. I could have been more forward, but my self-doubt got the better of me. Our time involved a lot of, “So, what do you want to do now?” and I hoped that sitting next to each other on my bed would lead to something, but we just listened to records and played a very ineffective two-person game of Cards Against Humanity. He eventually left, late at night, having done nothing. I was okay with that, though - I think it’s important for me to not give into my impulses and actually get to know people before sleeping with them. I knew I’d see him the next day, anyway. DATE 2 It was 4/20, my favorite tacky holiday and also the day of our midterm. Our class runs from 1:30-4:20, and unfortunately our professor didn’t let us go after the test and lectured right up until the end. I caught up with Basic Bro after class as he was headed to the train, asking if he had 4/20 plans. He said he was probably just going to work on homework, and I said I was going to check out the campus celebration, just on my own. “Hey, actually, do you wanna like, get food or something?” I said sure, or we could smoke and then get food. We headed to the big lawn where everyone was getting high, there was free cotton candy and Krispy Kreme, and Basic Bro and I smoked and had an edible. While we were there, The Korean spotted me and called out my name. He was on a balcony and I was down below, so I didn’t have to see him up close, thank god. Honestly, and this is so rude, but his face repulses me now. I just waved back, “Hey!!” Basic Bro asked, “Who’s that?” “Oh, just a friend I used to work with.” “Are you gonna go say hi?” “Uhhh, haha, I already did, didn’t I?” Since I’m a petty bitch, I hope he was jealous when he saw me looking hot with my strappy bra and cute tacky weed shirt, hanging out with a more attractive guy. I can’t say for sure he felt that way, but he did start watching all my snapchat stories... Basic Bro took me to his favorite Thai place and we scarfed down some larb and pad see ew. Then we went to a bookstore/record shop where he bought some vinyl to christen his new turntable. We picked out some cheap records just based on their covers, including one with a woman riding a horse naked. Prime material for sexual jokes, right? I said, “Oh my god, I have to know what this sounds like,” and he said, “Oh yeah, of course you can listen.” The implication there is that we’d go back to my apartment again, so we did. And once again, it took a million years for him to make a move. We listened to record after record (he bought like 4), watched 3 episodes of The Office, and then, as we lay next to each other, he said, “Hey, can I ask you something? Sorry, this is kind of awkward. Do you like... like me?” What can I even say to that? I’m not interested in dating him and I don’t want him to get that impression. I just said, “Well, what do you think we’re doing here right now?” “Lying next to each other?” “Yeah.” “So what does that mean? Yes?” “Uh... yeah... Can I ask the same of you?” “Uh... yeah...” FINALLY. TIME TO GET DICKED DOWN! We made out and grinded against each other and it was so, so hot. Maybe it’s just because I’ve been deprived, and my last sexual experience was so disappointing, but this shit was amazing. Before we went any further, he told me that he and his girlfriend broke up a few weeks ago, but that he still sees and talks to her. I told him I didn’t care, but I wanted him to take the lead and only do what he’s comfortable with, because I don’t know what the situation is like. He was still pretty passive, though, and I had to be more dominant and directive, which is always annoying. I went down on him and honestly, daaaamn @ that dick. damn. Not huge but probably my ideal size, and thick, too. But because of this, I had trouble with the blowjob, and like so many guys do, he jumped to the face-fucking. He did check in with me throughout about consent, but I had to stop several times because it was getting overwhelming. Then he pulled another super fucking porn-y move and slapped his dick against my face. Maybe I’ve been too socialized to accept this shit, and I probably need to critically examine my place in the world as a sexually active woman, but I didn’t really mind it, at least in terms of sensation. If that’s what he likes, then whatever. I minded much more that it was a porn move, and I bet he doesn’t actually like it that much, he’s probably just emulating what he sees in videos. It’s funny, because in class that day, I saw him reading an article about this very topic - the myths about sex that young people learn from porn. I was getting sick of sucking his dick and wanted to move on to actual sex, but he couldn’t keep it up. I wasted three condoms on him! In all the time we spent together, he kept talking about his struggle to not be seen as a fuckboy, but then he suggested doing it without protection, saying “my ex had an IUD, we were fine” and “if you’ve only slept with a few people you trust, and they haven’t slept with many other people, I don’t see the issue.” Classic fuckboy move. I felt like his mother giving him a lecture about STDs, and how HPV doesn’t show symptoms in men, and why is he so confident that I’m clean, doesn’t he care about himself? Throughout, I could only think: “This fucking high schooler.” So we gave up, turned the lights on, and the first thing out of his dopey mouth is: “Uhhh, thanks for sucking my dick.” “Uh. Yeah. Sure.” And then: “So do girls actually like sucking dick?” This was reminiscent of a question he asked earlier, at lunch. “So, what do chicks, like, talk about?” Memories of all the bawdy, naive, insecure, cocky boys from my high school days came flowing back, making me feel all the dirtier for having hooked up with Basic Bro. I didn’t really know what to say, I mean, what kind of question is that? I just told him, “Uh, I like that the other person enjoys it, that’s what I get out of it. Maybe some people like it, but if most girls actually did, you’d probably see more people deepthroating cucumbers in their spare time.” And as if two incredibly awkward post-sex utterances weren’t enough, he went for a third. Yeah, the one before the cut. “How would you rate my dick on a scale of one to five? You know, like a Yelp review.” He’s probably now in competition with the Bolivian for weirdest things said right after hooking up. Now feeling way too old and done with this shit, I just said, “What the fuck? That’s such a fucking awkward question.” He said, “I know, I know, you don’t have to answer.” At least I had a cop-out: “I mean, I didn’t really experience the full extent of it, so I can’t tell you.” Well... It can only go uphill from here, right?