#anyway goodnight folks i am so so sleepys

[tazmilygray]

happy 5am I have 10 drawings I never did from my OcTober list, and I know I kinda uhh silently abandoned the project but I didn't mean to let it go this long without mentioning it haha

I've been getting back into drawing so hopefully I'll have some out sooner than later, I just can't, and won't, say any dates cuz I don't wanna say something then not follow it (again), but yeah just. I didn't forget nor did I mean to abandon it lol

[sunsetcurvecuddles]

Hello you told me not to hold back so I’m gonna be ANNOYING feel free to ignore indefinitely until you’re feeling it but I’m gonna send you like a bunch of prompts cause I can’t sleep and am stalling finishing my own fic.

First one: Bobby (obviously), Reggie or Luke or friends I don’t even care, tea and blankets

lol hi have a rebuke cuddle-puddle disaster, also available on ao3 here. warning for swearing and very vague allusions to physical child abuse.

i guess we belong to each other | reggielukebobby | 1.8k words

--

Luke has his guitar in his lap and his writing notebook by his side even though it's late at night. He's playing his acoustic, so that he has no chance of stirring Bobby's parents from where he's sat in their studio, and though he'd never admit it to anyone, it's cold enough that he's found one of Alex's hoodies in the back of the studio, a black one Alex never wears any more, and he's bundled up in it to try to fight off the chills. He regrets storming out earlier this evening — not because his parents might be worried, he's still too mad at them for that, but because he misses his own warm bed in a house with central heating.

But it's late, and he doesn't want to bother Bobby, who's already been generous enough as it is (and is exceptionally grumpy when he's woken in the middle of the night). So Alex's old hoodie, smelling vaguely of the dusty studio and distantly of Alex, will have to do.

A noise distracts Luke from his writing. Something outside the studio, maybe an animal, but it sounded like footsteps. Cautiously, he draws his guitar closer, running through what he could say if it's Bobby's parents, his heart suddenly rabbit-fast in his chest.

A head pokes through the door.

Luke's shoulders drop with relief.

It's Reggie.

He looks a little scruffy, not like himself, because usually Reggie pays such close attention to his appearance, fusses over his hair and colour-codes his outfits and shaves with the precision of a professional painter. But he kinda looks messy, which makes Luke's stomach feel even colder than the air around him.

“Oh! Hey, man,” Reggie laughs, putting on a big smile, and it'd fool anyone else — Reggie's too experienced at this for his own good. “I didn't know you'd be here!”

“Hi, Reg,” says Luke, sounding a little distracted even to his own ears as he carefully looks Reggie over. He's not walking like he's been hurt, and there are no visible injuries. So that's something. Jesus, Luke wouldn't know what to do if Reggie turned up here with a fresh version of the bruises Luke sometimes catches him trying to hide. “You, uh — you good?”

“Yeah, for sure,” Reggie agrees easily, saunters into the studio and slumps down on the couch next to Luke. The relaxed way he moves soothes Luke's worry somewhat. “The house was just — ugh. You know how they can be.” Looking over at Luke, Reggie adds, “Hey, isn't that Alex's hoodie? I was wondering what had happened to that.”

“Hey!” Luke sputters, a little defensive. “He didn't, like, loan it to me or anything, it was just here! I found it.”

“It is cold,” Reggie concedes, pulling his flannel a little tighter around him. “Wish I'd brought my jacket, but it was in the kitchen and I didn't wanna. I dunno. Didn't wanna get in the way.”

Luke nods, puts his guitar to the side so he can press up against Reggie's side. Hip to hip, his cheek on Reggie's shoulder, links their ankles together and puts an arm over Reggie's stomach. Almost automatically, Reggie links his arms around Luke in turn.

Honestly, Luke was intending to steal some of Reggie's body heat, but after Reggie's walk outside and in such a thin layer, he thinks Reggie's probably leeching his own. Luke lets him go ahead; Reggie seems to need it more than he does.

They sit for a moment, both unusually quiet, huddling and not talking. Not so much for a lack of things to talk about, but more because any topic that comes to Luke's mind feels insurmountably complex and emotional. There’s so much stuff he can't tell Reggie — so much stuff Reggie isn't telling him. So they sit together and try to create some warmth without the need for disclosure.

Until there's another set of scuffled footsteps outside.

“Not Alex too,” Reggie sighs, at a whispered volume so that the newcomer can't hear him, “he squirms so much in his sleep, man, I can't share this pull-out with him again.”

Luke muffles a laugh with the back of his hand, but he can't help worry it's Alex, too. Things have been... okay, he thinks, with Alex's folks since he came out, but he also knows Alex hoped for better. Suspects there are things Alex isn't telling them (so they all have that in common).

But it's not Alex. Preceded by an armful of blankets that he's almost tripping on, Bobby staggers in, still in his pajamas and with his eyes almost all the way closed. “Luke? It's fucking freezing, I thought I'd—” He stops when he gets far enough in to see Reggie on the couch too. “Oh, shit.”

“Hey, Bobby,” says Reggie, voice a little nervous. “I hope it's okay that I—”

“Shut up,” Bobby grumbles, and dumps the whole pile of blankets on top of Reggie. “You guys are stupid. You're both out here, in the freezing cold, and neither of you come wake me up?”

“We didn't want—” Luke starts, at the same time as Reggie insists, “You were sleeping—!”

“Idiots,” Bobby growls, rubbing his eye with his sweater paw and yawning. He looks stupidly cute, like a little kid. “You're idiots, and I hate dealing with you. I'll be back.” Turning to leave the studio again, he turns back and adds, “Hurry up and burrito yourselves in those blankets, I swear to god. And Luke, isn’t that Alex’s hoodie?”

“He left it—!” Luke starts, but Bobby’s already gone, leaving Luke with Reggie, cackling at him.

—

By the time Bobby returns, Luke and Reggie have folded the couch out into its bed form, and are snuggling under the several blankets, giggling together as they talk about how grumpy Bobby had been.

“We should have woken him up,” Reggie snorts, “I think then he would have been less pissed.”

“I would have,” Bobby agrees, sounding somewhere between menacing and amused, as he reappears over them. His hair is all shaggy in his face. He's carrying a teapot. And cups. “Sit up.”

Luke does right away, Reggie pulling himself up a little slower. Bobby sits cross-legged at the foot of the couch-bed, tucking his socked toes under his own legs to keep warm, and pours them each a mug of what smells like peppermint tea. Suddenly, Luke can't imagine anything better in the world. When Bobby offers him a cup, he takes it eagerly, wrapping his cold hands around it and enjoying the steam wafting up to his face.

“Wow,” says Reggie softly, eyes wide, “thanks, Bobby.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Luke echoes, letting out a sigh as he takes his first sip.

“Forget it,” Bobby says, a little bitey. Luke knows it's because Bobby hates being seen as nice, so he doesn't take it personally, and he knows Reggie won't either. He has his own cup, which he drinks as though it's done something to offend him, scowling off into the corner of the studio. Reggie nudges Bobby with his foot from under the layers of blankets, and a tiny smile tugs at Bobby's mouth as he nudges Reggie back with his elbow.

After the cup of tea, Luke feels better. He feels warmer on the inside, now, and sleepy too. Reggie is starting to get that dopey, slow blink that shows he's on the verge of sleep as well. Bobby clears his throat and holds out a hand, beckoning for their empty cups. Luke and Reggie hand them over.

“Okay,” says Bobby, after a pause. “G'night, guys.” He goes to stand, but Reggie leans forward and catches Bobby's sleeve.

“Would you stay?” he asks, as if he can't help himself, as if on sheer impulse, but he doesn’t look embarrassed afterwards.

“Reg!” Luke says, a little startled. “It's cold out here, he won't want—”

But he sees Bobby's face, and he stops himself. Because he can see it in Bobby's eyes. That he does want. He’s Bobby, so he won't say it, his mouth pressed into a thin line, his gaze fixed on some point behind Luke and Reggie's heads, but Luke has known Bobby for too long to miss something this obvious, no matter what else Bobby can hide from him.

“That being said,” Luke backtracks hurriedly, “it would be warmer with you here, Wilson. I'm happy to be a leech.”

“That's all I'm good for, huh?” Bobby snorts, but he's already setting the mugs down on the floor near the side of the bed, already shuffling the teapot down there too. He hops up for a moment, and Luke wonders where he’s going, before he realises Bobby is just switching off the light. When Bobby comes back, he pauses, like he's not sure where he fits, and Luke and Reggie make eye contact for only a second before they move apart, leaving a space in the middle.

Bobby looks even less sure of himself, eyebrows knitted, jaw tight. His hands flex and one of them twists in the hem of his sweater. Luke gets it. It looks too much like it's on Bobby's behalf, like they’re doing it to make space for Bobby. Bobby’s always had trouble accepting anything that seems like it’s for his own benefit.

“I already sucked all Reggie's warmth up,” Luke explains.

“Yeah,” Reggie agrees immediately, and Luke loves him, “and you're warmer than Luke anyway, man. I wanna huddle with you. As a penguin, you would be my first-choice huddle-buddy.”

Bobby barks a laugh. “The fuck? What does that even mean?” Finally, he wriggles his way under the blankets in between them, and rolls his eyes when they both throw limbs over him right away, twining legs and arms together and resting cheeks on his chest.

“Like, if we were penguins. You know? In the winter?” Reggie says, like this is totally obvious and self-explanatory. “If I was a penguin, I'd be looking for the Bobby-penguin in the winter huddle to stick close to.”

“Aaand I'm at my capacity for dumb shit,” Bobby says, closing his eyes pointedly, but it's a scam, because his hands come to run through Luke and Reggie's hair. “Goodnight, morons.”

“Goodnight, Bobby,” they chorus. This close, Luke could almost brush noses with Reggie, has to try to focus his eyes to keep Reggie from getting blurry. Reggie sticks his tongue out at Luke just a little, and Luke grins back, links his fingers with Reggie’s over Bobby’s stomach, rubbing over Reggie’s knuckles until Reggie’s fingers don’t feel so much like icicles. When Luke uses his free hand to tug the neckline of Alex’s hoodie up over his nose, the familiar smell of the third piece of his heart soothes him right down.

The feel of Bobby’s fingernails on his scalp makes Luke’s eyelids flutter, and before he knows it he’s dopey, the world feeling blurrier and safer and cozier. Honestly, more like home than his own house would have. He no longer daydreams of returning to his own warm bed. Instead, he feels the way Bobby’s chest rises and falls with his breaths, pushing his and Reggie’s joined hands up and down. If he listens closely, Luke can hear Bobby’s heartbeat, familiar and steady.

Maybe the cold isn't all bad.

--

other prompt fills here :)

jatp taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @queenmolina @nickalicious @bi-reginald @malecacidd @burntchromas @jughead-is-canonically-aroace @cinnamonstickrayofsunlight @chickwiththepurpleguitar @fairylightsandrainydays @joyandthephantoms @fighttoshine @michelangelinda @queenofthequillandink 

[timelock97]

Love Without A Name

Chapter Eleven: Impending Panic

Word Count: 3031

Masterlist

Warnings: Fluff, Language, Anxiety, PANIC ATTACK AT END OF THE CHAPTER

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Counting down the days yet?" Tom's voice comes from the speaker of my phone.

I smile, brushing my fingers through my damp hair. "Less than seventy-two hours, then I can have you back in my arms again."

"I miss you; miss the apartment, miss Tess and Phoebe. Just want'o be home."

"Well, at least the last leg will be shot in London. You get to come home to your own bed."

"And my girls, don't forget that," He hums, shifting on his side of the phone. "Anything new happening? I feel like I just rambled for the last hour while you were getting ready for bed."

"But I miss you, so hearing you ramble is second best to you being here. Um," I roll over in bed and wedge the phone into the pillow so I can shut my tired eyes while I talk. "Nothing new, work is work. Your mom came and had lunch with me today. Which was nice 'cause she wanted to do dinner tonight but I wasn't going to get home till late. What else-" I rub my hand over my face before letting out a soft 'oh'. "I get out early tomorrow, so I am going to run to the mall and pick up some stuff 'cause my favorite pair of jeans decided to rip, so they are unwearable now."

Tom chuckles gently, "I'm glad my mum came and kept you company. Haz said that he's been to the flat a few times in the past few weeks."

"Yeah, he came over to have dinner 'cause I was lonely," I giggle, thinking about the first time I called Harrison after Tom had left.

After Paddy had gone back home, going back to the empty apartment was hard, especially after a bad day. I had had a shit day at work. Not one thing had gone to plan, I was tired, and all I wanted was someone to sit and watch a movie with me. So while walking home, I called Tom's family. His brothers had already had plans for the evening and his folks were at his grandparents. I pout at the reactions, but tell them not to worry and order take-out anyways. When the food arrived, I realized I ordered way too much. On the way up to my floor, I take a last-minute glance at the floors and press the fifth. The doors open quickly, and my feet carried me down the hall to the old apartment. I hadn't realized I had knocked until I heard Haz call a quick 'one minute!' When he opens the door, he looks surprised, seeing me dressed in a pair of baggy sweatpants and one of Tom's sweatshirts.

"You okay?"

"I got way to much take-out," I lift the bag in defense before avoiding his gaze. "Was hoping you hadn't eaten yet? It's okay, if you have, just, honestly really lonely and didn't realize I had ordered so much."

Haz had let out a small laugh before reaching for his keys, "Let me grab my phone, then we can go upstairs and throw on a movie, I'm sure Phoebes and Tess would prefer we were up there since you've been gone all day."

I nod, and let out a small laugh while I wait for him. When we walk back to the elevator, I smile at him before bumping his shoulder with mine. "Thanks, I hope I wasn't interrupting anything-"

"No, was just about to throw something in the oven, wasn't really in the mood for cooking either so it's cool. And, hey," he nudges my shoulder back, "don't feel bad for coming to bother me if you're lonely. We all get that way, and I can only imagine how hard it is since Tom is gone; especially since it's the first time."

"Thanks, Haz."

"I'm just glad he lets me come and bug him, it's helped, and I might as well bug him since he's in the same building." I let out a small yawn, trying to disguise it but am unsuccessful.

"It's late, I know. You should head to bed-"

"No..." I whine, rolling back onto my back. "Wanna keep talking to you."

"You have to get rest, love. I'll call you tomorrow, promise."

"Wish you were here; sleep better when you're here." I whisper, the darkness of the room making it that much harder to stay awake.

"I know, my love, I'll be home soon."

I smile as I let out another yawn. "I love you, Tommy, so so much."

"I love you too, (Y/N). Go to sleep, only two more sleeps till I'll be able to sleep beside you."

"Can't wait." I murmur, cuddling closer to my pillows. "Goodnight, handsome."

"Goodnight, darling."

~

It was like the universe was telling me that I should have stayed home that morning. I should have called in sick, went to visit with Tom's family, spent the day at the apartment and clean. Anything but go into town.

~

I wake up to Phoebe kneading the comforter that rests over my shoulders. My eyes pealing open, blinking a few times confused at the amount of light that was seeping into the room from behind the blinds. I slowly lift my hand from under the pillow and reach for my phone, going wide-eyed as I notice the time was twenty minutes until I had to be at the clinic. "SHIT!" I spring out of bed, Tess jumping and barking at me as I scramble to change out of my pjs and into my work clothes, thankful I could wear jeans and a solid colored tee-shirt since it was Friday. I slip inside the bathroom, brush my hair, pin it away from my face, and brush my teeth before running to the kitchen and fill the cat bowl. I start to list the things that need to be done while I rush Tessa to the elevator to wee, only to rush back inside and dial Haz's number.

"'Ello?" Haz's sleepy voice comes from the speaker.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, my alarm never went off and I'm going to be late for work if I walk and-"

"I'll meet you in the lobby."

"Thank you!" I practically sing into the receiver before hanging up and slipping on a pair of shoes. "Bye babies, be good!" I call as I lock the door and run to the elevator. Once in the lobby, I throw my arms around Haz's neck and whisper a quick thank you again before the two of us make our way out to his car.

Harrison hands me an apple, smiling softly. "Figured you didn't grab breakfast."

"I didn't, thanks again."

He shakes his head, his hair sticking straight up, pointing every which direction.

When he pulls up to the clinic, I have two minutes until my first patient will be ready to come back and see me. "I owe ya one!" I call as I get out, grabbing my bag from the floor.

"Nah, don't worry about it, (Y/N). Have a good day!"

I run inside, smiling at Wilma as I pass to toss my stuff at my desk and log in. Take a breath, you're fine.

As the day went on, one of my regular kids comes in the building frazzled, and upset. "You okay there, Johnny?" I coo, kneeling on the carpet floor to get to his level.

His mom scoffs, obviously annoyed. "There are two men at the back of the parking lot, Johnny believes that they are secret agents and is afraid. Do you happen to know why they might be out there?"

I lift my gaze to meet her eyes, my eyebrows pulling together. "No, I don't know why they would be out there; let me check the front office." I stand from my crouched position and walk over to Wilma, leaning against her desk. "Hey, Wil?" I hear her hum, so I continue. "Do you happen to know why there is a van in our parking lot that isn't a patient?"

Her head snaps up, confusion and annoyance crossing her features. "Again?"

"Again? This has happened before?"

"Yeah, and it looked like they were taking pictures." She leans forward and goes to grab the phone, "I think I am going to call the main clinic and have them send one of their security guys over to take care of it."

I nod at her, my eyebrows pulling together as I fidget with my wedding ring. Taking pictures...? I force a smile as I make my way back to the little boy in front of me, "C'mon lil man, let's go play, yeah?"

"No scary men?"

"Nope, no scary men." I smile as he takes my hand and allows me to take him down the hall, my mind still wandering back to the van.

Once my session was done, I walk the boy to the door before popping in to check with Wilma, only to see that Jeff, the main security guard from the main office sitting in there as well. "Hey, Jeff, Wilma. Everything get cleared up?"

Jeff nods his head, "Yup, thankfully they left without us having to call the police."

"Did they happen to say why they were here?" My fingers tighten around my wrist nervously.

"Said they were trying to get pictures for their magazine, wouldn't say of what."

I nod, muttering a quick 'okay' before smiling at my last patient that walks in the door. They could be here for the clinic, right? That's a possibility.

As the clock finally ticked over to two o'clock, I finished my last report. I sign my name at the bottom before logging out of the account and walking to the main office to tell my supervisor that I was leaving for the day, and I would see him tomorrow.

"Have a great day, (Y/N)!" He called as I walked out of view, fishing my phone out of my bag to text Harrison that I was leaving and that I was headed to the mall to go shopping then would be back at the apartment. My feet carry me up the street, pausing at the post office to drop off a letter to my parents.

Once inside the mall, I wander around to get a look at what stores I might want to look at. After about twenty minutes I end up at a general clothing store. My eyes scan the racks until I find the section I am looking for, looking for my jeans size before placing a few over my arm and leave to find a dressing room. Where those girls looking at me? My eyes glance to the side, a small group of girls looking at clothes, but occasionally look over at me. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear before walking the rest of the way to the dressing room.

The jeans I try on don't fit as well as I hope, slumping in places they shouldn't and just all together, not fitting. I exit the dressing room, noticing more people had started to gather inside and out. It's still summer, maybe people are getting a head start on a school wardrobe?

I stroll back to the section and filter through the jeans again before finding a few more pairs and make my way back to the dressing room. On the way back, I notice a powder blue sundress. I smile as I add it to my pile. I return to the dressing room and try on a few more jeans, deciding on two that fit the best. My eyes lift to look at myself in the mirror, moving to the side to see the dress hung up behind me. I turn back to the dress, pulling it from the hanger and smile at it as I tug my tee shirt over my head and letting it fall to the floor. I pull the dress over my head and let out a little giggle at how beautiful I look. I turn and let the dress flow up slightly at the movement. I smile wider, grabbing my phone and taking a few pictures before shooting them to Tom.

-----

Spooderman<3

You look positively beautiful

I'm so damn lucky

My Princess

So I should buy this?

Wear it for when you get home?

-----

As I send the message, I flinch at the noise of a bang hitting my stall door. "Uh, occupied!" When there is no other noise, I shrug and pull the dress over my head, gather my discarded clothes on the floor, and get dressed. I rehang the dress and jeans, making sure to place the ones I wasn't planning on buying in another pile. As I walk out to hang up the unwanted jeans, a voice catches my attention.

"Miss? Can I ask you a question?" She has her phone in hand, as I give her a short, yet nervous nod. "Are you the girl from the picture?"

I take a small step forward, but not enough to get too close. The girl is maybe sixteen, but that still doesn't settle the nerves in my stomach and the little voice in my head telling me to 'just say no and walk away.' My eyes focus on the photo, and my breath hitches at the image. It's of Tom and I, he has his arm around my shoulder as we walk Tessa through the park and from the looks of it, it was the day before he had left. I shake my head gently, taking a cautious step back. "Uh, nope, sorry, it's-" I swallow, "it's not me."

The girl's eyebrows pull together as she looks back at the photo, "But it has to be you, you look just like her."

I shake my head one more time as I walk back into my dressing room to grab my clothes, but when I walk back out, my heartrate picks up. Outside the door is a small group of girls, with a few more adding on directly in front of the exit. I swallow, taking a small step toward the exit, toward them. "Excuse me, I just want to get past you, the room is open though-"

The girl who had stopped me gives me a funny look, "You lied."

"What?"

"You lied," she moves her phone to show that she had more pictures of me, some were with Harrison, others were of me with any of the Hollands.

My heart tightens in my chest, and its suddenly really hard to breathe. "I'm friends with the Hollands, but-"

"So why didn't you just say that?" Another step toward me, another step I take backwards. I begin to notice that other girls were walking in, none with clothes in hand.

"You aren't exactly being friendly, and it's easier to say no." Another step backwards, my fingers feel like they are growing numb.

The girl lets out a laugh, "So you aren't his girlfriend?" I don't answer, my phone buzzes in my pocket. Her eyes dart down as my hand tightens around the clothing in my hands. "Or are you lying about that too?"

It's a blur, but suddenly I am back inside the dressing room, the lock shaking in my hand as I latch it shut. The girls on the other side are banging their hands on the door. There is yelling, a mixture of people telling me I should tell the truth, that I am not good enough for him, and people yelling at them to back off turn into a jumble of noise as my body betrays me.

You're dying.

You're having a heart attack.

My eyes cloud with tears as faces begin poking under the door, voices coming at me as if I was underwater.

"Just tell the truth!-"

"What does he see in you?"

"Leave her alone!"

"Ugly skank-"

My body hits the back wall, sliding until my butt hits the ground. My mouth is dry as I try and to get air into my lungs. You need to breathe-

The girls continue to yell, and I feel suddenly feel like I am going to pass out- no, I'm going to die- I let out a loud sob as my stomach rolls, the room spinning as my ears ring.

"If you need anything call Haz-"

I reach into my pocket as the pounding on the door becomes distant, dialing Harrison's number from my speed dial, praying he'll answer.

"Hey, (Y/N)-"

"Haz, I need- I need-"

"Woah, hey what's wrong?"

"Can't breathe-"

"You need to breathe with me-" Someone bangs on the door, causing a sob to leave my mouth; I can hear Harrison curse on the other side of the phone. "Where are you, can you remember the store name?" I must have told him, my mouth processing it before my mind. Harrison yells to someone on the other end, but I can't tell what he says. "Harry is calling the store, I'm on my way, I'm going to stay on the phone with you, okay-"

The phone is yanked from my hand, voices drowning me.

I'm going to die-

It's so loud-

My vision begins to get spotty, my body growing cold as my hands tremble.

Suddenly, hands are on my shoulders, someone else is yelling, but it carries something else in its tone. People are being pulled out of the room, the person in front of me squeezes my shoulders as she speaks. "Miss, you are having a panic attack, you need to breathe-"

"I can't-" I choke out.

"You're going to pass out if you don't," I think I'd rather that right now- "In and out with me, okay?"

Breathe-

You need to breathe-

You're panicking

Breathe-

A breathe finally fills my lungs, a familiar voice filling my ears, "I'm her husband's best friend, move mate." My eyes lift and Harrison is suddenly kneeling beside the woman in front of me, grabbing my hands as the security guard moves his head to the side to speak into his radio. "You're safe, you're okay." He moves to sit closer to me, "Breathe, (Y/N)." Another sob shakes my body as I attempt to take in a breath. "That's it, you're okay."

You need to breathe-

You're safe

Just breathe-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! Reblog and comment! Hope today was amazing, and if not, than I hope tomorrow is <3.

@revenantwriting | @bellagrayson-wayne | @jackiehollanderr | @snowxbarryxendgame | @let-me-luve-you | @mybitchborky | @linnyalou | @fanficscuziranout​ | @literallytrashhhhhh | @akweenbitch | @marveltomjunkie | @infinitycaprogers

[badass-sunshine]

~~

[canaryatlaw]

alright it’s past 1 am so I should get writing. today was alright. I woke up to a message that Jess woke up sick and might not be able to record our podcast episode tonight, so that ended up getting moved to tomorrow night. but yeah, I woke up to my alarm at 9:15 and got ready, heading to the bus around 9:45 (I don’t need a full half hour to get ready generally, but it’s always good to have extra time budgeted in in case something goes wrong. There was some serious roadwork going on on the street the bus was going down that caused it not to be in the lane actually by the bus stop, so I had get kind of creative to attract bus driver’s attention, there were two right together and thankfully the second one managed to stop and let me on. I took that a few stops north and then got off and waited for the other bus to take me west, which I ended up waiting for for about 8 minutes, not bad but it was still cold. that’s a bit of a longer ride, but still got me to the office in good time. Didn’t have to wait very long, got called in and basically said everything was good and I just needed refills, which is mostly true. I considered mentioning I’ve been kinda more depressed than normal lately but I know that’s totally situational due to me not having work to do and being alone all day, and honestly at this point I’m very, very hesitant to change my medications at all because last time we tried that it turned into a dumpster fire very quickly that left me unable to get out of bed most days for an entire month, and I’d really like to avoid that happening again. So that was easy enough. He wants me to try to phase off the xanax somewhat, so I’ve been trying to do that just a little at a time because I have issues sleeping without it. So that was a good appointment at least. Took the two buses back, ended up waiting for the second one for like 10 minutes this time which was not great but oh well. I got home and didn’t want to waste too much time since I had the job interview at 2, so I started doing my make up and then got all suited up and took an uber down to the loop at like 12:30, which gave me plenty of time, so I chilled in the corner bakery next door for a bit until it was time for the interview. I knew going in it wasn’t going to be a very strong prospect because they pretty much only do personal injury stuff and wanted some experience in that, and my experience in that is fairly limited. but we talked about my old job and the stuff I did with my dad and she was basically like “yeah, we’re really looking for someone who has some more substantive experience in the kind of cases we handle” which is totally understandable really but she was very nice about it and said she would hang on to my resume and if she heard of anyone wanting to hire someone with less experience she would pass it on to them, which she obviously didn’t have to do, so that was nice, and she also said I was a delight to interview, so that helped a bit, lol. I did an uber pool home because lazy, when I got home I changed out of the suit and into my comfy clothes again and settled on the couch to watch some of The Americans and work on some research for the podcast episode we’ll be recording tomorrow. Somewhere in that time I got a phone call from a lawyer who I did not immediately recall but we had traded like, two emails, and he was pretty interested in me so we talked for about 15 minutes or so culminating in setting up an interview for Thursday, which I know is an objectively good thing but like....I have so much anxiety about this because now that I know OPG is so close to being a reality I really don’t want to commit to another job and get screwed out of the job I really want. Plus he said to like “come prepared” to talk about how to handle cases because they were really looking for someone who they could hand cases off to and pretty much handle them by themselves, and I’m fairly hesitant to think that’s something I can really do, so that’s pretty anxiety inducing. But I mean I guess we’ll see what happens, if I bomb that part it won’t be an issue anyway, so we’ll see. Tuned into Arrow at 7, interesting episode, sad there was no Laurel  but the other plots were pretty decent, I’m definitely not a fan of Oliver’s “prison friend” so that was pretty creepy and I was mad Dinah got hurt, this better not cost her her canary cry or Imma be pissed. Then there was the whole William thing, not gonna lie when his grandparents showed up and they were like “we’re suing for guardianship” I got really excited and ready to legal geek out about this because like, previously my legal knowledge I’ve applied to the Arrowverse shows has been like, stuff I learned in crim pro, but this stuff is like MY SHIT, this is what I actually do, so I got all excited to legally geek out about it and talk about the burden of proving parental unfitness and how Oliver would probably be found presumptively unfit since he has been convicted of more than 3 felonies which creates a per se unfitness charge....but then that didn’t happen so I was a little sad about that, but I still had fun thinking about it (yes I know that’s not really something most people get excited thinking about, but I like it). And I’m sad we’re apparently losing Curtis, because he was great. As far as the “bombshell” revealed at the end of the episode, I actually got informed of that a few days ago, so I knew it was coming lol. Black Lightning was great, like I loved all of the episode, especially my girls Jen and Anissa so ready to kick ass and Jennifer just ready to take on the world to find Tobias and kick his ass and Anissa’s all like “you didn't think I was gonna let you go out alone, did you?” and I’m just like AHHH YES SISTERS. The plot with the pod kids was kinda hard to follow, I’m still confused as to the various ages of them, being that the one Tobias woke up seemed to be a full grown man (meaning they had grown while in the pods) but the one Lynn had the end was clearly still a child. So we’ll have to see where that goes. The Grace plot was pretty interesting too. And then there was the whole principal thing where I’m like, I know Jefferson had to do “the right thing” but like....I definitely want him to become principal again, lol. But yeah, good episode all around. After that I switched to Nailed it! Mexico which was fairly ridiculous and then switched over to the news and Jimmy Kimmel for a bit before deciding to shower and get ready for bed and now I’m here and it’s 1:31 am and suddenly I am REALLY sleepy, so I’m gonna end it here. Goodnight folks. Have a good one.