#anyway here’s wonderwall and also ambient music of me sobbing

[jockvillagersonly]

I’m rewatching a bit of TLTR for a screencap I need for another post and god I just ... forgot how heartbreaking this scene is? And how the Iron Triangle’s positions tell us so much about where their heads are at?

Wu Xie, sick in bed, centered under both the light and focus of the other two. Also: the repeated visual metaphor of barriers (the mosquito netting, his use of files to avoid looking at Pangzi) — fitting, given how he has been (and will continue to) cover up the severity of his illness, blocking even those who love him from the innermost reality of his body

Pangzi, devastated and pissed, probably more livid than he has other been. Yet still caring for Wu Xie in one of the few ways he can — and is it a coincidence that he picks up Wu Xie’s x-ray and examines it before this scene? That he comes face to face with the sheer scope of how beyond his mortal grasp Wu Xie’s condition is moments before this? Pangzi is a man of action being faced with something utterly terrifying: the slow death of someone he loves by something entirely outside of his control. And he’s mad, at Wu Xie and Wu Xie’s lungs and probably even Xiao-ge, but he is a man who will always grasp what he can do in both his hands. And for now, he can feed Wu Xie. It’s not enough, and it doesn’t touch the hurt deep inside him, but it’s a start.

Xiao-ge...oh Xiao-ge. Sentry on the edge as he so often is, but facing in this time instead of out. Both guarding and sharing in this moment of painful vulnerability. Xiao-ge has always know he would outlive Wu Xie — but who thought it would be like this?