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tinysushimark · 3 years

Text

Silence (Nomin)

Angst, swearing (like once), 2.3k words ｡◕‿◕｡

this is a work for @kokonomi 's summer event!!

The wind blew across their faces and he smiled at the woman beside him. Probably a genuine one or a fake one. He did not know which.

“Jaemin, catch!” Jeno shouted and his hands automatically reached the object which was thrown at him, the curve of his mouth slowly disappearing.

“Caught me off guard there man! What if it hit my baby’s face?”

“I knew you would have caught it.” The boy in front of him said, his arms draping across his best friend’s shoulder.

Best friend, nothing more and nothing less.

Let’s look at the definition of best friend. A person who knows all your secrets, they both had one secret which they had not told the other. Two people who wouldn't lie to each other no matter what, but they had lied, probably multiple times. Two people who never hesitate to talk about their feelings, but they had hesitated. The question is, were they even best friends at all at this point? Was it true that there was nothing more than friendship between these two?

Were those stares across those halls just of a best friend? Were those urges to kiss the other just those of a friend who cared? Were those “you can have my juice, I don't like it anyways,” just the concern of a best friend?

Yet they were still best friends and there was no doubt about it. Two boys who did everything together, both good at studying, amazing at music, showed excellence in athletics and brilliance in other co-curricular activities. When they entered high school, Jaemin had seen his best friend driving a car through the gate and his heart felt alive. The red car looked brilliant and so did Jeno.

Jeno had discovered Jaemin alone on the benches of the basketball court, his eyes were focused on the sky or so Jeno thought. Jaemin had not felt anyones’ presence until his friend had coughed, his eyes lay on him for a second and his eyes curved ever so slightly.

“What ya looking at so carefully? It's not like you know the names of constellations.”

“Wondering how and why I ended up this way.”

“What way?”

“Alone, even with people around i am alone.”

“Aren't we all a little alone after all?”

“Lonely enough to feel it rip through your chest, ever felt it my friend?”

“No.”

“Those stars are lonely too, they never get to talk to another one and all we see them as are shiny objects in the sky.” His eyes then fell on Jeno, who was trying his best to comprehend, “I must sound crazy, I should seriously take a shower, I am all sweaty.”

That was the moment that Jeno had felt it for the first time, the urgent need to tell Jaemin that he was not alone afterall, the need to pull him closer and kiss him because words could probably never express how the noirette felt for the blonde man who was walking towards the changing rooms, head hanging down.

The walks they took together somehow ended up lengthening itself as they grew closer each day after the basketball tournaments. Jeno tried his best to make Jaemin know that he was never alone and he had the noirette beside him whenever he needed.

The fall came over and summer was long gone, the two of the boys had the time of their lives during the summer, they were the spotlight at most parties, Jaemin's father had taken Jeno out to their farm and they had both sat under the moonlight, gazing at the stars together. Jeno had remembered every word that Jaemin had said the other night. The sand felt cold and the yearn to be held by Jaemin lingered in Jenos’ body. They both had slowly inched closer, Jaemins arms wrapping around Jenos figure, a small smile adorned his features.

“Feels good.” Jaemin had said, his nose nuzzling into Jenos dark hair, the hair which he had started to feel comfortable around. The boy who made him feel full again, the regrets of the past which he had forgotten about with the boy, the small smiles he would pass filling him up with warmth to his once cold heart. Above all, Jeno was a companion whom Jaemin had yearned for, an ally in the many people, a familiar one in the bunch of people he met everyday.

Their freshman year had passed and the boys were now sophomores, the two were popular even amongst seniors as they both had excelled in all fields and had brought the school a great deal of pride on several given occasions. The boys would always open their lockers with the expectation for it to be filled with small notes to long love letters, all with small chocolates and cheering notes.

That summer too, like the last one Jeno had gone to Jaemins farm and the boys had spent a week together. When school had started, two new girls had transferred to their school, extremely beautiful and full of charms, Ki and Amelia.

Ki had taken a liking to Jaemin when she had seen him play the piano during music class, Amelia had taken a liking to Jeno when she had seen him help another girl in the library with her books.

Ki approached Jaemin and confessed about her feelings, a summer full of delight, the stars seemed beautiful and the flowers smelt its best the night she had given them to Jaemin, her head had hung low, a small blush across her cheeks.

“I like you, do you wanna go out with me?”

A small grin had made its way on Jaemins face, “If I say I don't want to?”

“I will make sure no girl ever looks in your direction again,” Ki had said, her demeanor changing, she slowly tipped near Jamenins ear and whispered a string of words which Jaemin would have never thought he would hear, “You're mine Na Jaemin, I will never let another woman lay her eyes on you. Only mine and I never lose what's mine to other losers.”

“It's mine because it's beautiful, no one else can have what I have, I want you and I am not giving you to anyone else.” Her eyes dug holes into his relaxed ones, his arm draped across her waist pulling her closer than she already was, his breath fanned her face, “I am not your plaything baby girl.”

“You are more than my plaything, you are my ambition.” Ki had said her eyes then fell to his lips and she pulled him closer, satisfying the hunger she had felt in her chest. He found all of it amusing and decided to play along, what was the harm in a little play. He kissed her back passionately.

“Mine.” She whispered in between the kiss and Jaemin’s hand slowly rubbed her nape, “All yours.”

That night Jeno was unaware of the fact that Jaemin had held someone else in his arms, he had slept away and thought about the night on the farms, the one where Jaemin had held his hand as they ran through the fields in the night, their bodies covered in sweat, the nightlight brightly shining on Jaemins milk skin.

The next day Jaemin had smiled at Jeno who had entered the school, his eyes met Jaemins and his features relaxed as he walked towards him, only to be blocked by a girl who held Jaemins arm and smiled.

“Hey Ki!”

“Hey boyfriend's best friend!!”

"Boyfriend?" Jeno's face twisted, an unpleasant feeling taking over him.

"Yeah, we are together now." Jaemin said, a smile on his face as he shut the locker and slid his arm around Ki.

Jeno tried not to let his emotions pour out, he swallowed his displeasure and smiled, "I'm happy for you dude. Will you not tell me how it happened?"

"Since when do we tell each other this childish stuff?" Jaemin had smirked at him and patted his shoulder.

During lunch, he saw Ki and Jaemin feed each other whilst he sat alone beside them, reading his book.

"Jeno!" Ki had squealed, "There's this girl, she wants me to set you up with her, what do you think?"

"Depends on who the girl is."

"Jenna from B section."

"What makes you think I'll date her?"

"She's nice."

"Is she? She's an exact copy of you."

"So? Am I not nice, puppy?" Ki said in a cooing tone and Jeno just smiled and shook his head. "No, I think you misunderstood me, I don't like you because you're Jaemin's type."

"Oh, I thought I was universally likable." Ki had said as twirled her hair around her index finger, just the sight of her near Jaemin had made Jeno's blood boil.

Every moment when she would kiss him, or tiptoe to fix his hair, Jeno's jaw would clench in order to hold his anger in. Jaemin wasn't a stranger to how Jeno was feeling, he knew what his best friend was thinking inside out.

Ki had a strong presence and she was also Na Jaemin's girlfriend now. Everyone paid attention to her and tried to stay in her good books, while Jaemin and Ki became the hot topic of campus, Jeno usually found himself alone in the library for hours on end to make sure that he stayed away from Ki as much as he could.

Amelia had seen her loop and had slipped right in. She started off by sitting beside Jeno and passing him occasional smiles, and then slowly and steadily she started talking to him about studies, those talks turned into walks home and slowly Jeno had found himself interested in Amelia.

Amelia was everything which was correct for Jeno, she would listen to him talk and she admired him, she wished to be together with him and Jeno had felt satisfied by the amount of affection she had showered on him. He felt needed, something he had never felt with Jaemin, but he still longed for Jaemin.

Jaemin saw Amelia and Jeno walk together home, to the library, the football court, and then the basketball court. His attention from Ki slowly shifted to the one he really wanted. Playing does not last more than mere days you see, dear reader.

Even when the four of them sat together for lunch, Jaemin and Jeno would spare each other glances of jealousy and love. The urge to hold each other grew more and more as days passed, Jaemin was also getting sick of Ki and her small tantrums.

One night when Jeno and Amelia were sitting together opposite the setting sun, his hands had found their way to her waist and he had kissed her to forget all about the one he loved. That is when he knew that no matter what happens, Jaemin was his answer. He needed Jaemin, and although he had known it all along he had pretended not to know.

He never knew how much he had pushed Jaemin away before that night, Amelia had cursed at him for not even knowing his own heart, but who knows their heart through and through?

None of us.

When he saw Ki and Jaemin smiling at each other in front of his beloved's room, his eyes felt numb and he felt a pang in his heart. That was the day he decided that, no one knows their heart through and through, so Jaemin did not deserve to know the calls of a desperate confused man, who does not know what he desires, Ki was a woman who would treat Jaemin right, she had goals. What would Jaemin do with Jeno, a man with no desire or ambition. So he had walked away, just like every other time when he avoided Jaemins gaze through the hallways as his lips were connected to Ki’s.

The football tournament had come by and the boys had not spoken to each other through practice, when the both of them settled at the bleachers with their drinks, a strange silence had fallen upon the both of them. One that they had never felt before, it was deepening and seemed almost cursed to be in. It was as if none of them were even allowed to break the silence, their best fit being to walk away as soon as they could.

For days they kept walking away from the silence but it was not long before the curse had played its course, the burst of anger fell upon Jaemin and it was finally time the silence had broken.

“Who the fuck do you think I am Lee Jeno?”

“ You're Jaemin.”

“You broke up with Amelia and never told me.”

“Do you need to tell a person they are blind if they can't see? Or do you let them believe that the entire world is pitch fucking black?”

“Stop your stupid riddle games.”

“I am the one playing games?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Nothing, just leave.”

“And if I don't want to?” Jaemins eyes fell upon Jenos, his body tensed as he inched closer to the noirette, his hands tugging at his hair, slowly pulling him closer. Their breaths mingled and before they knew it they found each other's lips on one another. The kiss was passionate and a little drunk on love and life. The warmth rushed back into their hearts as they held each other daringly close.

Ki had stood frozen on the ground watching the two men kiss each other and that is when she decided it was best to leave the two alone. The next day she had seen a flash of regret in Jaemins eyes when he told her everything that had happened on the court and he explained how Jeno was the one for him.

“I will always remember this summer, Na Jaemin.” She kissed him on the cheek and smiled, “You made it beautiful.”

Then she had left, letting the two boys complete their sweet love song, one she knew would last forever.

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