#anyway i'm just a lobbyist for like. understanding what you're doing and doing it on purpose

[aeide-thea]

the thing abt this website (and probably other websites as well) is that like. posters will complain that readers get mad at posts for not encompassing Everyone's Experiences, when they were just talking about their own experiences

and it's like. okay but did you phrase your post in the universalizing second person or.

cue janet-with-cactus gifset.

[clare-with-no-i]

hi clare!!!! very random (I’m clearly having a wild NYE), but if you don’t mind, I’m super curious about your opinions re: sarah koenig and true crime journalists. I saw you posted about it a while back on clarewashere (I would have submitted this ask there but that blog didn’t have an ask option!). I have always hated true crime podcasts but I know you’re super educated on the criminal justice system and I would love to hear your perspective

totally feel free to ignore this :) cheers! hope you’re having a lovely NYE!!

hi beloved! thank you for the question! also yeah I have my asks off on that blog because one time someone sent me anon hate on there but didn't realize it was my main and that I'm, yknow, me, which was really hilarious lol. anyway.

soooo god I have myriad problems with the true crime genre. it pretty much does everything possible wrong when dealing with conversations around policing, criminalization, and incarceration, and yes I even mean the 'sensitive' true crime people and not just the YouTubers who do makeup while talking about, like, Ted Bundy or whatever it is they discuss.

true crime as a genre and phenomenon sensationalizes crime, creates an unrealistic culture of fear based on wildly standout incidents of violence, and reinforces false ideas that a) police in this country solve crimes, which they don't, FBI statistics on homicide clearance rate give a (very optimistic!) estimation that about 54% of homicides are being solved per annum; b) kidnapping, murder, other violent crimes are a significant portion of the prison population, which they absolutely are not; c) that white people are just as likely to experience violent crime as people of color, which they aren't at all. the airtime that these incredibly niche, outlying stories get overwhelms real conversations about the carceral state in America (prison gerrymandering! over-policing minority neighborhoods! stop and frisk! civil asset forfeiture!), and they also strengthen this insane mythos that there is a hard line between perpetrators of crime and victims of crime, which, no, there absolutely is not. an overwhelming majority of incarcerated persons have themselves been victims of some form of crime. crime is born from poverty, from underfunded school systems, from homelessness, from lack of healthcare, from feeding drugs into Black communities and then arresting drug users. it is a function of the structural racism and classism that permeate the American reality. it's not just joe criminal waking up one day and grabbing an axe. like yes of course that happens, and it is terrible when it does, but to only report on that/make it a feature of a media subculture is frightening.

and people might say, oh, well, what's the harm? it's just a youtube video!!! but the popularity of narratives like those spread by true crime pods/videos is, and let me make this clear, exactly what tough-on-crime lobbyists and legislators want. how do you think laws like "Three Strikes You're Out" get passed? the popular consciousness gets swept into a moral panic about violent crime and looks to expand the prison system as a means of harm reduction.

and to anticipate another counterpoint: when people are like, but it's spreading awareness!!! ok…awareness of…ongoing police investigations? great. and which investigations in particular? whose stories get told, and whose get ignored? I remember seeing some dumbass take that true crime pods 'spread awareness about domestic violence.' cool. and what structural solutions are we positing? what resources to possible victims are we providing? what funding toward shelters, toward civil legal funds, is being allotted from the earnings? yeah I thought so.

outside of its larger effects on its consumers' understanding of criminalization, true crime is so gross on a human level: these are real people's stories. these are real families of victims who have to watch their loved ones' deaths get discourse-ified and mangled on the internet like it's the latest episode of fucking Game of Thrones. Netflix and other streaming services have created scripted TV shows and films based on real human suffering without ever checking with the families or getting approval. and, honestly, even those scant YouTubers who get families' approvals, I still think it's sketchy as fuck. like, you're still profiting off of this, if not financially, then with it being your entire career just sitting in your house telling the stories of other people's trauma for clicks. yikes?

also, sooo many true crime fanatics are feral weirdos. sorry to say it. there is no goddamn reason why people should be dressing up like Gabby Petito or her murderer for Halloween. there is no reason rando white women should be making "if I go missing" folders with, like, locks of their hair and vials of their spit in them. there is no reason to create conspiracy theories around victims of domestic violence and act like they're actually manipulating the world and/or their abuser. there is no reason that lawyers on fucking TikTok should be making weeks-long series on a domestic abuse trial filled with meme audios and funky freeze-frames. it's weirdo behavior!! I'm not sure at what point we all got desensitized to the idea that people are entitled to privacy and respect when dealing with the objectively hardest times in their lives, but Jesus Christ !!!

to wrap up, my gripe with Sarah Koenig is that she's a hack lmao. Serial not only garbled most of its content wrt the Adnan Sayed trial, but it also stole from Rabia O'Chaudry's investigation of the trial, and left key significant pieces of his bungled defense out. and then SK claimed credit for getting him out of prison. blech. she's also the final boss of all true crime journos because true crime podcasting absolutely took off after Serial, much to my chagrin.

there we have it, this was a dissertation, sorry to anyone who actually reads this, it's such a rant lmao. thank you again for asking <3 as a known haver of opinions it's always a pleasure to be asked about said opinions

[sheepinthebigcity]

1 and 25 for the asks

Which labels do you use?

im BISEXUAL. and i mostly use nonbinary. sometimes genderfluid

25. What queer discourse frustrates you the most?

ok i guess you're choosing violence lol...

honestly i'm kind of at the point (maybe because i'm 29 and don't pay attention to nonsensical discourse) where i'm just like. it's probably not a Bad thing that we're having various conversations about things. keeps our brains sharp for one. like you don't wanna be the guy who is insistent on "not needing dysphoria to be trans" for example without knowing "why," and i find blind worship of concepts, even concepts intended to be good a very troublesome thing. plus with some more nuanced discourses i just kinda understand that both sides are comin from a place of hurt usually. anyway i guess i'm tired of gays using the word "psy op" to describe other gays like i understand they're being mean about bi lesbians or whatever but idk i'd rather that energy go to like. trampling a homophobic straight lobbyist or politician who's actually making these laws or something instead of the quasi-bigot on tumblr you think is pushing them lol. i sound so anti-sjw for saying that lol

[bitchesgetriches]

Hey bitches, I know you like to extoll the virtues of living without a car, and you're right, obviously, but how do you deal with the various things you can ONLY do with a car? I have to get covid tested because a coworker tested positive (I'm vaxxed, obv) but everything I'm finding is either a hospital who has way better things to do or drive up only appointments.

Idk I'm mostly just complaining that the whole country expects you to not only be able to operate but also own and maintain a 2000 lb piece of machinery... sigh

YOU ARE PREACHING TO THE CHOIR, MY FRIEND. I grew up in a rural area but now live in a western city, and between those two I lived in one of the biggest cities in the country. The bigger city was the only place I could live without a car, and even then it was occasionally inconvenient. In my rural hometown there was no public transit to speak of. And on a recent visit, I learned that there's ONE (1) person who works for a rideshare app when and if he feels like it in the whole town.

Anyway. I feel you.

Short of shaking our fists at the Eisenhower administration, car manufacturers, and auto industry lobbyists, there's not a whole lot we can do. Individuals can get involved in local politics to fight for accessible public transit, bike lanes, or subsidized vans and buses for those with mobility impairments. And of course your mileage may vary (pun fucking intended I'm hilarious) when renting cars when you need them. But on the whole, I think we have a long road to travel (I'M ON FIRE) toward lessening our culture's dependence on individually owned automobiles.

So I turn it over to the community! What say you, Bitch Nation? Options for non-car-ownership?

Buying a Car with the Bitches, Part 1: How to Choose Your Car

Buying a Car with the Bitches, Part 2: How to Pay for Your Car

The Joys of Getting Around Without a Damn Car

Understand the Hidden Costs of Travel and Avoid Them Like the Plague