#anyway if this is my jeffrey anon i think i still have one other message from u but it is currently buried under 39476304967 other messages

[bilbao-song]

"jeffrey haters" is so funny to me even though i completely understand what you mean. im not in any elo groups so the most ive seen is Youtube Comment Discourse but they're always so dramatic

UGH you're so right. i generally don't engage with them but i go through phases of heavy lurking and let me just tell u there are some bafflingly insufferable people out there. some of the things they start collectively losing their minds over are so bizarrely out of touch with reality/sometimes just wildly insensitive (and as u have said, dramatic), that i just. idk it starts to feel like some kind of weird social experiment. like i'm not even exaggerating, 99% of the time it is the most petty shit ever and usually boils down to "major scandal!!!! local man is not okay with [thing most normal people would not be okay with]" but then they act like he was like, engaging in cannibalism or something. i would be so intrigued to see how these ppl react to actual problems within their own lives or perhaps just one of those bands/any given form of media at all where like half the people involved in making it were committing minor atrocities on a semi-regular basis

the only good thing about it tho is that it makes it really easy to identify people i probably will not like jhgsdgsd

[musette22]

Gotta say, aside from the happiness of Seb getting recognized once again.

My favorite thing to happen today has been the hater’s exposure of their performative activism. When they’re attacking Seb for Pam and Tommy, and in the same breath congratulating Evan Peters for his nom as Jeffrey Dahmer, like come on

And don’t get me wrong Evan deserves his flowers because problematic show aside, he did one hell of a job, and who I believe is Sebastian’s biggest competitor in that category.

But what I’m saying is if we’re gonna attack people for being “morally wrong” let’s not stop at one person and attack everyone the same way, you know?

Anyways let this be another reminder of how awards show do not give a fuck if a 14 year old on Twitter says that Sebastian doesn’t have any range. 😂

Over the past two days, I've gotten a few asks about how Sebastian has been the target of yet more bullying and hate on Twitter lately, and I really don't want to devote too much time, energy or attention to it since that would be playing right into the haters' cards and I'm not about that, but I'll just address the situation generally in this one post to at least have acknowledged it, since I know it's bothering some of you a lot and that makes me sad.

This is a long one, so I'll put most of it under the cut, but if you have sent me a message about any negativity regarding Sebastian or Chris, either recently or in the past, I would really appreciate it if you could take the time to read all of it <3

To start with this kind of double standard behaviour you're describing, anon: I agree completely and it's dumb as shit. Like I've said many times before: while I personally believe it's possible to appreciate an actor's performance separately from the question of whether or not it's a good idea for them to play that role or for that movie or show to be made in the first place, it's understandable and fine if you're not a fan of Pam & Tommy, or of the fact that Sebastian took that part. But a) that's no reason to bully anyone (wow so hypocritical), and b) if that's truly how you feel, then you should be feeling the same way about any actor starring as a less than morally upright character in a biopic (because otherwise, again, wow hypocritical). If you just pick and choose, and decide who can and who can't play those types of roles based on your personal opinion of the actor, then I just can't take you seriously, goodbye.

And then, more generally: I genuinely do not understand these haters. I don't understand why they choose to spend their time focusing on the negative, and on someone they (for some reason) don't like. That is not healthy behaviour. I'll also never understand why the fuck they've chosen to hate Sebastian, of all people (or Chris, for that matter, but I'll focus on Sebastian here). This man who is literally adored by everyone he's ever worked with, and by everyone he knows personally. This guy who started out with nothing and got to where he is now through sheer hard work and determination and without ever trampling anyone on his way up. This man who is humble and unassuming, always kind and supportive of his friends, of people in the industry who are just starting out, of women in the industry, and who consistently gives to charity and puts his money where his mouth is. This man who's had his fair share of awful things happen to him in his life, and who still gets up and keeps going and never compromises on his morals one bit.

I genuinely can't think of any other explanation why anyone would hate Sebastian than either jealousy, or being a bona fide dickhead, or just being so spineless and brainless as to blindly follow the behaviour of someone who is either of the above. I'm not saying you always have to agree with all of his choices, I'm not saying you have to stan him, I'm not even saying you have to like him. But to hate him? And to spend all your time trying to find ways to attack and belittle and bully him? That genuinely is deeply unhealthy behaviour, and most of these people should get themselves some professional help, stat.

I just absolutely can't take them seriously, and like I said above, I really don't want to dwell on their nonsense any more than is absolutely necessary. And I think that's what we all should do, both for our own peace of mind, as well as to deny these haters the attention they're so desperately craving. I do understand that you guys just want more Sebastian content and that's why you spend time in his fandom on Twitter, but on the other hand: this is what always happens on Twitter. Time and time again. It's old hat by now.

It's why I'm not on Twitter, and it's why Sebastian is not on Twitter, so I just can't help but wonder (and I don't mean this in a harsh way, I promise - just as an honest question): if you're a Sebastian fan who is sensitive to negativity regarding your fave, and if you're someone who gets as upset by the kind of nasty behaviour the various anons have described to me in the asks currently sitting in my inbox get, why are you still spending your time on there? Please don't do that to yourself. Ask yourself honestly if it's worth it, and if the answer is no, please just leave the Twitter Standom and/or take measures to properly curate your fandom experience. And if you choose not to do any of that, that's fine and I can't make you do it, but in that case, I would like to ask that you stop coming to me whenever more stuff like this goes down on Twitter, because like I've explained before: there is a reason I'm not on there, and that reason is that I don't want to see, hear or even vaguely know about that kind of nastiness.

And that's not because I don't care about people attacking Sebastian, and it's not because I think ignoring the haters will magically solve the issue. It's just because knowing about all this negativity will only serve to make me feel unhappy and helpless, since there isn't anything I can do about it that will solve the problem. If I knew there was a way I could change the hater's minds, for instance by patiently and kindly explaining to them why their behaviour is wrong, then believe me, I would. If there was a way I could make all the nastiness stop and make Twitter (and fandom as a whole) a place where people only had productive discussions to further worthwhile causes and were kind to each other and appreciated Sebastian (and Chris, and everyone else) for the good person he is, then believe me, I would. But sadly, that's just not how it works. That's just not realistic, so I'd rather not make myself constantly miserable by continuously trying and failing.

I'd rather find more productive ways to make the world a better place, and when it comes to fandom, the only way I know I can make an actual difference is by making a concentrated effort to focus on the positive on my own blog, and (at the risk of sounding like a hippie) by spreading love and joy to counteract the hate. Keep the balance from tipping over into the negative. So that's what I would like to continue doing as much as possible, and that's what I believe all of us should try to do. I hope you guys understand ❤️

[loading99percent]

Endure

Pairing: ZZTx OC [Ruohua] Genre: slice of life, slight angst, slight fluff Word Count: 3,148 Summary: Zhengting isn’t a very attentive boyfriend, or well much a boyfriend to Ruohua as of late and she’s beginning to think if the heartaches are worth it over loneliness. soft angsts starters

Warning: although more angst it still has a good ending. lol i think that’s about it. i don’t know much about others’ perspective of relationship and of other females’ view on it as well except my own. the beginning bit is just based on the music video and song that i get from it.

My eighth request! I’m surprise at myself for getting these requests out tbh with you. Hopefully I can get to the others and finished them all as to not make you lovely anons wait too long. Anyways, this story was actually not going to be with this request prompt, but I don’t like unhappy endings and so wrote more to give me that good ending. So this was inspired by the song ไม่ชอบอยู่คนเดียว by PREEN and Stevie Hoang’s Don’t Wanna Fall Asleep. The first song translates to Don’t Like Being Alone. Happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~

Girls don't like being alone. They don't like being neglected or left alone to think unhappy thoughts. Girls don't like to suffer and dislike being forgotten. They don't like it when you don't care about them or don't know anything about them. Girls don't like it when you're not around to give them that sense of safety, security, and protection. They don't like it when you don't give them a call or a message just to let them know that you're thinking about them or even missing them. Girls just don't like being lonely, ever. If a girl had to choose to be heartbroken or being alone, then she would rather choose to be heartbroken. Because it's easier to deal with a broken heart than facing loneliness alone since it's solitary as it is. Eventually though over time it wears them down. So how much longer can they endure heartaches before turning to loneliness in the end?

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ting! Where are you?" Ruohua asked her boyfriend, Zhengting. "I'm standing outside your apartment right now."

"Oh, hey, Ruohua. I'm not home right now. I'm out with the guys." Zhengting answered before getting distracted on his end. "Hey, I'll call you back, alright, after I finish the game with the boys. Bye!"

Zhengting hung up on her as Ruohua stared at the blank mobile device with a sad sigh before slipping the cell into her back pocket. She hung the gift bag she had prepared earlier that week on his apartment door while stuffing the pig plush doll against it.

"I guess you did forget about it in the end, huh?" Ruohua muttered to herself while petting the stuffed toy. "I guess playing with your friends is more important than celebrating our anniversary."

"Guess who?" Ruohua playfully whispered into Zhengting's ears while covering his eyes with her hands in the process upon coming up from behind him at the cafe they were meeting at for their day date.

"Um, Cheng Xiao?" Zhengting guessed with a nervous laugh as Ruohua chuckled quietly. "Nope. Guess again."

"Well, there's Jinger, no?"

"Not even close. C'mon, it's easy. You should know."

"Hmm, Zhang Xi? Oh, maybe Meiqi? Oh, wait, no. Xuanyi?" Zhengting guessed while throwing out possible names of who it could be. "I think it's Junya or Ruihan?"

"Wrong again like five times, Zhengting." Ruohua smiled with a shake of her head while still covering his eyes. "One more chance and it's not that hard. C'mon now."

There was a long pause as Zhengting really pondered on who the mystery woman could be and Ruohua frown hoping her boyfriend was just teasing her.

"We were just talking earlier just now."

"Oh, did we?" Zhengting let out in confusion. "Who could you be then?"

Ruohua was about to end the game when she heard Zhengting speaking again.

"Oh! I know who you are!" Zhengting smiled as Ruohua waited.

"Mena, right!

Zhengting exclaimed happily as he grabbed onto Ruohua's hands and removed them from his eyes to turn his head to look at her. "Oh, Ruohua, it's just you."

Ruohua frowned, but Zhengting didn't notice as he turned his attention away from her while motioning for his girlfriend to take a seat.

"Ain't gonna lie, that was pretty hard, Ruohua."

Ruohua reluctantly took a seat across from Zhengting and gave him a look.

"We just spoke like five minutes ago, Ting. Also we've known one another for at least like five years now and dated for more than a year."

Zhengting shrugged while casting her a sheepish look. "I guess I'm not good at recogizing voices."

Before Ruohua could counter the waiter appeared and had brought them drinks that Zhengting had ordered ahead of time.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, Ruohua, I ordered your favorite drink!" He said while handing Ruohua her favorite drink and taking his own in his hand. "I've already paid so don't worry about it, but I gotta get going though." He suddenly announced while standing up. "Wenjun and I have this project due tomorrow and we're behind."

"But what about our date?"

"We'll have another one later this week. I promise."

Zhengting gave Ruohua a quick kiss to the cheek before leaving the cafe as Ruohua's eyebrows furrowed and her expression sour.

"You were the one that planned this and have postponed it twice already within the month. When are we going to have a proper date?"

She let out another sigh as she gazed at here 'favorite' drink that Zhengting had just bought her.

"It would be my favorite drink if you had ordered the right one, Ting." Ruohua mumbled. "I like winter-melon and almond milk tea. Not the matcha green milk tea."

Ruohua let out a sigh as she took the drink while shaking it before drinking it. Even if she didn't like the flavor, she didn't like wasting food the most.

"Ruohua, hey! This is Jieqiong. She's my partner for dance class. And Jieqiong this is my..." Zhengting introduced the younger female to his girlfriend yet he seemed like he blanked out on that information of Ruohua while introducing her to Jieqiong.

"Hey, Jieqiong. I'm Zhengting's girlfriend, Ruohua. Nice to meet you." Ruohua introduced herself instead while shaking hands with Jieqiong.

"Wow, you're so pretty. Zhengting didn't mention he had a girlfriend." Jieqiong commented innocently, but for some reason this stung Ruohua a bit.

"Yeah, we've been dating for more than a year now, but have known one another for like five."

"Aww, that's lovely and super cool. I'm totally surprised I didn't meet you first compare to his friends though, Ruohua." Jieqiong stated as Zhengting rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"Well, the opportunity never showed up until now."

"Right, I see." Ruohua said as she looked from Zhengting to Jieqiong. "I guess I'll get going and leave you two to finish your routine. I still have to visit the library to finish my paper. It was nice meeting you, Jieqiong. See you later, Ting."

Ruohua waved them goodbyes while giving them smiles before leaving the dance room with a tired look.

"How long can I keep this up until I can't anymore?"

The couple attended their friend, Kaihao's, birthday dinner at a HaiDiLao. Sitting around the large circular table of twenty and plus others, everyone was enjoying themselves. Eating, laughing, and telling jokes and stories. Some time later the conversation shifted and the atmosphere between them all grew awkward due to an innocent question by one of their friends.

"Hey, Zhengting, Where's your girlfriend?" Linong asked although Ruohua was sitting right next to Zhengting. "Did Jieqiong have something else to do?"

Ruohua was taken aback by the thought that Linong assumed she wasn't Zhengting's girlfriend and that Jieqiong was. They've been somewhat friends or something like that for two years now.

"NongNong, she's his girlfriend." Linkai pointed at Ruohua. "That's Ruohua. Remember? Jieqiong was only his dance partner for class."

"Oh, my. That's embarrassing. I'm so sorry about that." Linong apologized while looking at Ruohua and then at Jeffrey sitting on her other side. "I thought you were Jeffrey's girlfriend because you two were talking a lot with one another throughout dinner."

Ruohua just cast Linong a polite smile while excusing herself as she took her things and didn't bother to look at the rest of them. Somehow that question turned her off from enjoying the rest of the night and didn't want to spoil it with her sour mood because of it. Ruohua took a breather out front and tried to gather herself before going back inside. She didn't want them to think it affected her too much causing them all to become awkward with it. Looking towards the night sky with a heavy heart, Ruohua let out another breath before turning around to walk back inside the restaurant, but Zhengting was already making his way towards her.

"Hey, Ruohua, are you okay?"

He held her shoulders while looking at he with a worried look.

"Yeah, Zhengting, just peachy."

She mustered up a small smile.

"I hope you're not upset with NongNong about what had just happened. It's not really that big of a deal to be worked up about."

Ruohua's small smile disappeared and she looked at her boyfriend tiredly and annoyed.

"Not a big deal, Ting. Really? Are you being for real right now? He assumed you and I weren't together and that you were dating Jieqiong and me, Jeffrey." She let out a bit heated. "Honestly, a majority of them some times forget that we're actually a couple, Zhengting. Do we not interact like one or something?"

"Of course we do, Ruohua. We go on plenty of dates. We hang out as much as we can. We hold hands, kiss, and cuddle and do all of that other lovey-dovey stuff that couples do, too." Zhengting assured her although it didn't sound all that convincing.

"Are you sure?"

Zhengting opened his mouth to answer Ruohua, but no words came out. He looked like a fish with his mouth opening and closing while thinking of what kind of answer to give to his girlfriend. Ruohua let out a sigh and decided whether she should or shouldn't continue her relationship with Zhengting.

"Do you even know what I like or dislike, Zhengting? Like my favorite flowers? Colors? Food? Or even movies or dramas?"

Zhengting continued to look like a fish staring right back at her.

"Do you even know the date of my birthday or our anniversary?"

Still no response. Ruohua asked him another question hoping that he could maybe salvage what little they had to continue their relationship.

"Do you even know anything about me since we've known each other for five years or about us since we officially got together?"

Zhengting slowly removed his hands from her shoulders and put them at his side. He also avoided all eye-contact with Ruohoa and chose to instead look at the floor that was way more interesting. To Ruohua, this indicated to her that he didn't know or was unable to give her any sort of answer she would be satisfied with.

"I can't do this anymore, Zhengting." Ruohua admitted. "I love you and only you, but I can't endure any more heartaches because of you, Zhengting. I can't endure an us when there's just a you or me in this relationship." She told him. "I really thought that I'll be your last."

Ruohua started taking a few steps back from him which caught Zhengting's attention more after hearing what she had just said. He looked at her with alertness.

"What are you saying, Ruohua?"

"Zhengting, let's break up."

"Like taking a breather sort of break or actually...?"

He trailed off with widened eyes although he knew exactly what Ruohua meant, but couldn't let it sink in to process fully.

"Goodbye, Zhengting, and take real care."

It was four in the morning and Zhengting was outside of Ruohua's apartment after their break-up from a few months ago while knocking on the door every so often. They haven't contacted one another since and so Ruohua wondered what he wanted as she looked through the peephole. Ruohua was going to ignore Zhengting and go back to bed, but he continued to bang on her door insistently. Ruohua let out a sigh not wanting to annoy the neighbors if Zhengting didn't cease his knocking. She opened the door just as Zhengting was in mid-knock. The pair stared at one another with Ruohua waiting for what her ex-boyfriend had to say while Zhengting tried to gather his thoughts of what he wanted to say to his ex-girlfriend.

Ruohua waited for him to explain why he was here, but Zhengting remained quiet. Even after what felt like forever, but was only three to five minutes tops the silence between the pair continued on and no one wanted to speak. Ruohua knew that she shouldn't have expected a change from him and was about to close the door on Zhengting without saying anything, but Zhengting held out a hand against the door to prevent her from doing so. She glared at him and was about to say something, but quickly noticed the dark circles beneath his eyes and the way his face seemed so haggard. Her face soften as she wondered if their break-up had caused him to look so pale and tired.

"Begonias." Zhengting blurted out as Ruohua's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"Your favorite flowers are begonias because despite their simplicity they have a deeper meaning to them if you pay close enough attention to their symbolism."

"You're just memorizing facts you found online, Zhengting."

Ruohua tried to reason, but Zhengting shook his head with a small smile.

"You like eating the petals because it's the only way you'll eat anything really healthy and calling it a salad. Also it has its own medicinal uses like healing small cuts and scrapes, treating a sore throat, or relieving the symptoms of a cold."

"Again, Zhengting, stuff you can read online and tweak it to fit me."

"Well, you don't have a favorite color as long as they're the colors of begonias which has like seven of them."

Ruohua was going to counter, but Zhengting continued to speak.

"You also don't have a favorite food because you like anything and everything, but they're all usually carbs and why you eat begonias to slightly balanced it out." He pushed the door wider so that he can fully see Ruohua while still talking as he was answering her questions from the day they had broken up. "You prefer movies over shows because they're shorter in length and don't have too much fillers and drama-esque plots within them. Plus, you don't have favorites movies just favorite genres related to animation."

Ruohua tried to wrap this whole thing around her head, but it just left her confused on why he was answering her questions months later.

"Why?" She asked causing Zhengting to stop talking and to stare at her. "Why, what?"

"Why now, Zhengting? What does it matter to you in finally answering some of my questions months after we broke up? Why? What does this benefit for you?"

"Because I can't continue to convince myself that I don't miss you, Ruohua." Zhengting confessed. "I try so hard not to think of you, but I always see your face every time I close my eyes. I don't wanna fall asleep knowing that you'll appear in my dreams all night long."

Ruohua's was left speechless by his confession as Zhengting felt relieved admitting what's been burdening him these past few months.

"I never realized how much of a difference your presence impacted my life when I faced the truth that you were no longer mine or a part of my life, Ruohua."

Zhengting wanted to reach out and take Ruohua into his arms, but he restrained himself because he didn't have that privileged and right to do that anymore.

"I neglected your importance and feelings, but most of all out of everything I failed to see that I had neglected you, Ruohua." Zhengting admitted. "You're the one who was supposed to be my last that I love and only love, but I treated you like you meant nothing to me."

Ruohua regarded Zhengting throughout his confession while feeling his words and emotions tug at her heart. Could she really forgive him so easily? Could she even think about being in a relationship with him again? Could she even see a future for them if she gave him another chance, but if he asks for another chance? Ruohua honestly didn't know, but she did know that she wanted to do one thing right then and there.

"Can I hug you?"

She asked him and instead of receiving a response, Ruohua felt herself being pulled towards Zhengting's chest a second later. He enveloped her into his arms having missed the way she felt within his embrace. Although initially shocked by the sudden skinship as she thought Zhengting may not have wanted to hug or whatever, but Ruohua soon relaxed and hugged Zhengting back. Too lost in the mood, Ruohua missed what Zhengting had said.

"Hmm?" She hummed while pulling back far enough to look at him. "What did you say?"

Zhengting smiled as he repeated what he had just said.

"June twenty-first. January sixteen."

Ruohua gave him a funny look before realizing he was again answering her questions before they broke up.

"The day of my birthday and our anniversary."

Zhengting nodded as his smile widened before speaking again.

"You had a major and long crush on me and liked me ever since transferring to Langfang High."

"I did not."

Zhengting ignored Ruohua's comment.

"You think you suck at cooking which is true, but it's passable despite being a bit bland in flavor."

Ruohua slightly smacked him on the forearm, but Zhengting continued talking with a lighter tone to his voice. "And you've been wanting for us to move officially in together some time next year and adopt two French bulldogs once we're settled."

"Wow. Ziyang really has a big mouth and can't keep secrets." Ruohua pouted upon Zhengting learning of her wanting to live together with him.

"Big mouth or not, Ruohua, I'm terribly sorry for causing you so much heartache while we were together and I'm willing to spend the rest of my life to never make you feel alone or lonely ever again."

"That's a really big responsibility to take, Zhengting. How do you even know I wanna get back together with you?"

"Because you asked me for a hug."

Ruohua was confused by his words, but remember telling him back when they were teenagers that for her a hug always meant reconciliation. It was because she was never one for initiating skinship unless she felt like it or when the time called for it. Also if Ruohua ever fought with her significant other and she wanted to be the one to make up first, then she would initiate the hug to settle the score.

"You remembered?" She asked in disbelief.

"Eventually I did after thinking and reminiscing over the past few months and the time we spent with one another over the years for it to registered in my memory." Zhengting admitted with a chuckle. "It just took me a lot longer to realized a lot of things, Ruohua, but I hope you'll continue to lead me well and be patient because I don't wanna lose you ever again." He gently cupped her face while rubbing circles with his thumbs over her cheekbones. "I don't know what I'll do if I can't see your face ever again, Ruohua."

"Then don't, Zhengting. Because I've loved you and missed you too much to not have endured it for this long for another chance at us."

Ruohua pulled him in for a kiss.

[pedroscurls]

Title: I Truly Am Sorry

anonymous requested: can I request something angsty? The reader is Abraham's daughter and she was in the circle when he was beaten to death. She's always been broken but after seeing her last family member die before her she breaks completely. She's with the group in Alexandria and when Negan comes to visit he sees what he's done to her... and he actually feels some kind of remorse??

Character(s): Negan and Reader (Abraham’s daughter) Summary: Witnessing your father’s death broke you and the one man that has been haunting your nightmares finally show up for the first pick-up. Word Count: 1,719 Warning: Angst!!! Author’s Note: Okay, this idea is absolutely amazing. To the anon who sent this in, thank you so much! I love angst more than I love fluff and smut, to be honest lol. Anyway, get a ready for a whirlwind of tears because it pained me to write a story about Abraham simply because his death hit me just as much as Glenn’s did. I hope you enjoy! :-)

Forever Taglist: @disfigured-it-out || @chunex || @jasoncrouse || @oceanicseries || @dixonsbait || @negan--is--god || @see-you-then-winchester || @sable-the-trans-ham || @k4veggies || @labyrinthofheartagrams || @purplemuse89 || @ladyynegan || @scentofpineandhazelnutlattes || @may85 || @a-girl-interupted || @spn-cw123 || @multireality || @ashzombie13 || @constellationsolo || @isayweallgetdrunk || @fyeahashley88 || @sweetsweetpeach || @heartfulloffandoms || @myheart4ever47 || @asshatry || @laymetorest77 || @jenniegs || @hawtdiggitynegan

(GIF Source: @jeffrey-daddy-morgan)

“Suck… My… Nuts…”

It was the last words your father had said. You could hear the baseball bat connecting with his skull, crushing it completely until it turned into a puddle of mush, the sounds of cries coming from the people that you had come to call family, and most of all, the sound of laughter from the man who haunted your nightmares: Negan.

You couldn’t get rid of the look of enjoyment on his face as he bashed your father’s head in with his baseball bat that he called Lucille. It hurt you so much to know that your father was gone. The last family member had passed away and you were now alone.

The rest of the Alexandrians had been there for you, but it wasn’t the same. They didn’t know you like your father did. You had always been quiet around them and now that your father had died, you were acting more aloof than they were used to.

You didn’t eat. You didn’t sleep. You never left your home in Alexandria. You were supposed to help Olivia with inventory, but Rick was kind enough to let you take a few days, even weeks to yourself.

You knew Rick blamed himself and a part of you did as well, but if your father were still alive, he would have said that pointing the finger at others wasn’t going to help your grief.

You were lying on your couch, staring at your father’s gloves that were resting on the coffee table before you jumped at the sound of a knock at your door. With a quiet sigh, you stood up and opened the door to reveal Rick holding a plate of food.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi…” you replied, turning on your heel and leaving the door open for Rick to walk into your home.

He set the food on the island in your kitchen, watching as you slowly maneuvered around the house. Glenn and Abraham’s death were on him and he was going to do everything he could to avenge their death.

“How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine,” you shrugged.

“You know, you don’t have to be alone, [Y/N]… Abraham wouldn’t want you –”

“How would you know what my father would have wanted or not, Rick? He’s gone and there’s no way for him to come back. I have to live with that. I’m never going to hear his voice again, hear his laughter, watch him walk through the front door with his goddamn usual smirk on his face…” you mumbled, tears clouding your eyes. It had been just two weeks since your father’s death and it still hadn’t sunken in.

You doubt that it ever would.

“I’m not saying that you should be over it. I’m just saying that you don’t have to deal with this alone. I’m here. Michonne is here. Carl…” he added.

“Yeah, I appreciate that, Rick. I really do, but I can’t. At least not right now, okay? I just – I need to deal with this on my own and at my own pace…”

Rick sighed, walking over to you. He slowly wrapped his arms around your small frame and pulled you into a tight hug. Suddenly, you began to cry, tears staining his denim button up.

“It’s going to be okay… I promise. I’ll fix this. I’ll kill Negan,” he whispered reassuringly.

You nodded, clutching onto him as if he was your own father. Abraham would always reassure you with a tight hug and an inappropriate phrase. It made you giggle and he always said that he loved to see his little girl smile.

Slowly, you pulled away and wiped your tears embarrassingly. “Thanks, Rick.”

“Don’t worry about it. But please make sure you eat.”

“I’ll try… I haven’t had much of an appetite lately.”

Rick sighed, staring down at you. “Well, take a few bites here and there if you can’t stomach it, but just try.”

“Okay…”

“I’ve got some work to do, but I’ll see you later, okay? I’ll have Carl drop by with Judith. No one can turn down that cute little girl,” he smiled.

“That’d be nice… I’d like that.”

“Great. I’ll let Carl know.”

You were sitting on the carpeted floor, watching Judith play with her toys as Carl glanced out the window. Ever since Negan stepped into your lives, Carl had been extra cautious of his surroundings.

“Carl, please, just sit down…”

“No, [Y/N]. Just play with Judith. I’m fine,” he replied monotonously.

Sighing, you stood up and picked Judith up in your arms, walking over to Carl. You were both the same age, so you two had a lot in common.

“Judith, tell your brother to sit down and play with us,” you told Judith, hearing her giggle which made you smile in return.

Carl looked down at the both of you, arching a brow. “You smiled.”

“Huh. I guess I did. See? Your sister’s the cure. Now, please… You’re making anxious.”

With a defeated sigh, Carl walked away from the window and back to the living room. You both watched Judith play with her toys, hearing her gurgle quietly to herself.

“I’m sorry… For your dad. He was awesome,” Carl mumbled.

You looked up at him and tightened your jaw. You didn’t expect your father to be the topic of your conversation with everyone today.

“Yeah…”

“I’m going to kill him, [Y/N]. He’s going to be sorry that he ever fucked with us,” Carl angrily said.

“Hush. Your sister is right here and you’re using foul language.”

“Sorry.”

The following day, you decided to be alone, opting to reschedule your ‘play date’ with Carl and Judith. They were helping you cope with your father’s death for the time being, but when you were alone, the thoughts and memories swarmed your mind.

You were lying on the couch once more, staring at the coffee table before you heard his voice pass your house. You thought you were hallucinating before you heard two knocks at your front door following Rick’s pleading voice.

“Negan, please…”

“You know, if you’d have begged like this the other night, I probably wouldn’t have killed that ginger,” he laughed.

You tightened your jaw and shook your head, covering your ears from the repeated sound of knocking.

“Little pig, little pig, let me in,” he grinned.

“She’s probably sleeping…” Rick replied, trying to get him away from your house.

“Well, let’s wake her the fuck up then.” Suddenly, Negan kicked your door down and grinned at his surroundings. Though, the grin on his face disappeared at the sight of you lying on the couch.

“[Y/N]?” Rick mumbled.

“Leave… Leave!” you yelled.

Negan chuckled, “Oh doll… I don’t think it’s wise for you to yell.”

Negan was shocked. He didn’t realize how young you were. He felt bad; he always did whenever he had to kill someone to teach a lesson. Many thought he enjoyed it, but it was simply a façade he had.

“Rick, please tell him to leave…”

Negan shook his head. “Rick, give me some alone time with her.”

“No. I’m not doing that.” Rick said.

Negan turned to look at him. His eyes staring intently into Rick’s in a threatening gaze. “I don’t think I fucking asked. Get the fuck out or else.”

Rick sighed, slowly walking towards the front door. When you heard the door shut, you immediately sat up and brought your knees to your chest.

Negan stared at you. He noticed how you were avoiding eye contact, but when you saw his baseball bat, your eyes simply widened.

“Doll…”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Well then, can I get a fucking name at least?”

“No.”

Negan sighed, “Listen…”

“I don’t want to listen to what you have to say. So please, just leave my house.”

Negan kept his distance. He didn’t want to startle you, but he did want to apologize. The look of devastation on your face, your puffy red eyes, your sunken cheeks… You looked completely different than you did the night everyone met Negan.

“Have you been eating?” he asked quietly.

“Why do you care?”

“Because believe it or not, you now belong to me. If you aren’t eating, that’s my responsibility. Plus, you look like shit.”

You looked up at him and noticed the look of remorse on his face. Huh. You weren’t expecting that.

“I’m fine.”

“Like hell you are. When was the last time you ate?”

“Does it matter? I’m not hungry.”

Negan sighed, rubbing his eyes absently. “I just want to fucking apologize…”

“For what? For murdering my father? For taking away the last family member I had left in this world? For bashing his brains in front of me? Do those suffice?!” You yelled, standing from the couch and pressing your hands to his chest roughly.

“Doll, I suggest you back the fuck off right this second…” he threatened.

“Or what?! Are you going to take your precious Lucille and bash my brains in too?! You took my dad away from me!” you sobbed, finally tiring yourself out from punching him repeatedly. You pulled away and kept your eyes downcast, your body shaking as you quietly tried to cease your cries.

“I didn’t want to do what I did, doll. You and the rest of the people here need to understand that. You all forced me to send a message by killing thirty of my men… Did you really think that you all were going to get out of it unscathed?” he replied, sighing quietly.

“Fuck you, and get the fuck out of my house.” you argued, not comfortable with the choice of words.

“All right. You may be upset, but you do not get to fucking talk to me that way.”

“What did you expect me to do?! Welcome you with arms wide open? Fuck you! You… You murderer!”

Negan grasped Lucille tightly. He had come here to check on you, to make sure you were doing okay, but he should have expected you to react this way. In fact, in everyone’s eyes, Negan was the enemy.

“I’m sorry, doll… I really fucking am…”

“Just get out of my house…”

Negan took one deep breath and nodded. He turned on his heel and left your house, slamming the door on the way out.

[elizabethrobertajones]

i heard somewhere that jeffrey dean morgan is returning season 13??? is this true??

Obviously since you’re anon I don’t know how many blogs you follow or how long you’ve been at this, but a quick rule of thumb:

- when an official spoiler comes out, the fandom goes nuts

- if the info is new there will be 300 posts about it in the first 3 pages of your dash, everyone will have an opinion, there will be wank and celebration and gifsets and furious vagueblogging and 3,000 word meta celebrating what it could do for characterisation etc

- give it half an hour and all the meta bloggers will be deluged with asks requiring their opinion, further spiralling discussion and spread of the ideas

- after a day or so when the hype talking directly about it dies down, general commentary about the next season will usually mention the new information at least in passing all the time if not still be using it as the main point of discussion (like Misha’s comments about Cas from SDCC being in the centre still of a great deal of posts on my dash about next season)

I mean even if you just followed me and no one else you could go to #season 13 spoilers, and see if I was making weary side-eyes at this concept and groaning and begrudingly including John in my calculations for everything, because that spoiler would be too huge to not comment on

If you follow a ton of fandom folks, you just have to open your dash :P

I don’t mean to be snide to you btw, I’m just saying, there’s some spoilers which are absolutely fundamentally shaking up things. For example, the Wayward Sisters announcement went across my dash like wildfire. 

If they announced JDM was coming back last month it would *still* be going around like wildfire, and almost any supernatural blog you dropped by to examine would have dozens if not hundreds of posts about it if it were official, and everyone would *still* be shooting furious messages at each other about it, and it would carry on in this manner until the season started airing. 

I’m just saying… This one would be seen from space if there was an official announcement. I mean my method of double-checking if this was true was literally just to open the first page of my dash this morning and scroll 3 pages to check, and since in those 30 posts there wasn’t a peep about it, I knew nothing had been announced since last night, and I was being extremely generous towards this concept on your behalf by not deciding it wasn’t true or officially confirmed from just the first page of my dash not mentioning it :P

Anyway, apologies if you’re very out of the fandom loop and just come by my blog on an individual basis to check things (also, hi, and thanks :P), but then if you do that it’s much faster and more satisfying for you rather than waiting for me to wake up, to ask Google something like “season 13 jeffrey dean morgan” to have a look see. And trust me, the fandom is on high enough alert for spoilers as a collective hive mind, the information would be on our blogs almost as soon as the announcement was made no matter where it came from… They choose platforms they know we’ll be paying attention to. Meta bloggers have no extra special secret information or hoard of spoilers we’re sitting on that the another fan wouldn’t be able to find without spending the same amount of energy, anyway.

But if you were really just asking my opinion on this in a more abstract is this a good idea or not way, no, I don’t think it is, at least not to give him the same treatment as Mary, though she can of course imagine him for herself at least once in a one-off, John is never coming back but she was married to him for ages, kind of way. And if I think it’s possible? Again, no, because TWD, and him being expensive, busy and while apparently still fond of the show and his roots in it, apparently not exactly begging to come reprise his role at any point since season 2 (or that 1 off phone call in season 3). Hence using young!John in 11x04 and having Sam mumble some confused things about having no clue why he looked like the John he wouldn’t even remember :P (They’d probably pull the same stunt if Mary was going to want to have a John around in her imagination at any point tbh)