#anyway im excited shes a great poet and ive been meaning to back to this bar

[spohkh]

omw to lesbian bar for a friends poetry reading. lets go gay people

[skizmin]

you’re my favourite constellation.

stargazing!au, friends to lovers with han jisung

(this giF IM SCREAMING CUTIE)

request from @straybin: Can I request a stray kids jisung friends to lovers star gazing au! Your aus are super sweet I loved the seungmin one!

(thank you so much ily 💝💓💖💕💞💘💗)

alright lets get straight into it

so youre a highschool student with an affinity for astrology, like, you love it

for your birthdays you get astrology books and maps and even once a really cool telescope!!

its just what you love, okay?

anyway, recently youd moved in with your cousin who lived alone and needed a roommate, plus it was closer to your school than your own home.

you parents practically shoved you in there with short notice (at least they were paying rent and grocery expenses) and you were like well okay

you didnt mind your cousin at all, but she can be a bit excitable and overbearing sometimes but you have to deal with it really

“dUDE i gotta show you something follow me”

you were unpacking when your cousin said this, you set down your telescope and followed her out the front door. your cousin lived in an apartment block basically, she was on the third story out of five. there was a very cute young family across the hall from you guys n stuff

anyway she kept going up and up these stairs and you were like where the fUck are we going im so tired

she laughed and said you were almost there and proceeded to push open a big heavy door

wow

you were in complete awe

in front of you was a massive open roof, the setting sun and the wide sky completely in view from all points, and when you looked up? oh my god it just seemed so clear

“you like stargazing dont you? youre allowed to come up here all you want as long as you dont make a ruckus yeah?”

you agreed, smiling W I D E and attacking your cousin in a hug

like,, two weeks later?

you still hadnt gone stargazing on the roof yet

on top of moving in and mid term school, it was a struggle to deal with so you just didnt have the time at the moment

untillll you had a falling out with a friend. it wasnt anything too serious but a few hurtful truths were said and the added stress of everything else going on, it was just overwhelming

so when you got home that afternoon, you packed a small box with your telescope, your notebook and pens, a couple of your astrology study books and two big blankets

then, after you made and ate dinner with your cousin, you made a big cup of hot chocolate (or coffee or tea or a moccha, whatever you prefer) and told your cousin you were going upstairs and youd probably be back late so youd take a key in case she was asleep

your cousin agreed and watched you balance the massive mug and your box in your hands and also the two big pillows you spontaneously grabbed as you walked out

arriving on the roof, you laid everything out, not bothering to set up your telescope just yet and you sat back sipping your hot drink

you didnt know when you started to cry but it happened, and soon enough you where silent sobbing on your own letting out a few sniffles here and there. life was just too busy and overwhelming at the moment

it was about half an hour later when you stopped sobbing, you were still crying, wiping your tears from your face every minute or so, this was when the door to the roof opened and shut

you thought it would just be your cousin so you stayed still and aited for her to find you and comfort you

the the felt a foot hit your thigh and heard a whisper shout of “hoLY FUCK”

you sat up, hastily wiping your tears as you tried to see the dark figure in front of you, they had turned on their torch and were now shining it directly into your eyes

“i am so sOrry i didnt even see you there, were you sleeping? oh god i cant believe i just almost stepped on you- wait? are you crying? oh my god”

it was some sort of god in front of you, you were sure. perfectly tanned skin, gorgeous doe like eyes, soft cheeks and pink lips. you were pretty much mesmerised, even as he crouched down in front of you

“hey, im sorry. i really didnt mean it its just dark out, are you okay? i didnt hurt you did i?”

he sounded so unbelievably guilty that you felt bad, snapping out of it you responded with a choked out “im sorry, im fine, its okay!”

the boy in front of you smiled out of relief, eyes lingering on you before looking at the set-up around you

“im jisung, i live on 2nd floor. i havent seen you around before, i didnt know we had new neighbours”

he looked at you and tilted his head in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips set in a slight pout. your heartbeat involuntarily picked up at the sight

“oh! im uh- im y/n, i just moved in with my cousin y/c/n, she lives on third floor...” you awkwardly and shyly looked down to the ground, hastily tidying up the mess of notebooks and your hot drink as he replied

“oh! y/c/n! i know her, shes really nice. how old are you? you look a bit younger than her honestly” his brows furrowed further and he smiled lightly when you looked up at him, he was still crouching in front of you

“oh, im 17, she lives closer to my school than my parents and she needed a housemate, so here i am!” you laughed really nervously and looked down at your fingers again

jisung smiled to himself, ah, theyre cute

“oh, im the same age then!” he laughed before looking away slightly, asking the difficult question, “are you sure youre okay? you look like youve been crying,”

dread crushed your chest, he’d seen you crying, this was really embarassing for you

“oh nothing! i was just- uh, i was just a bit stressed is all” you held your breath, hoping jisung wouldnt pry any further, you really didnt want to talk about it

he laughed good heartedly, “ah yeah, we all get a bit like that sometimes. what are you doing up here though? its freezing, are you studying or something? waiT IS THAT A TELESCOPE?!”

it was your turn to laugh, this kid was really positive and seemed to know how to take a hint

“im stargazing! my cousin said i could come up here but, if you need to roof then dont worry ill go down its no porblem”

you looked at his face this time as you spoke and oh my god stop smiling at me like that 

“stargazing? thats so cool! dont worry, i only came up here for some fresh air, my housemates are a bit loud. so what, do you just look at the stars and planets or?” he finally sat dwn next to you. “can you show me a constellation?”

you giggled and nodded, you whole body tingling because of the close proximity of your bodies and the idea of the stereo-typically romantic thing you were about to do. “we need to lay back okay?”

you laid back, he followed, his head was lost to to yours and his hands rested on his stomach, he turned his head to look at you

m i s t a k e

you didnt turn to him. you were bright red at the feel of his breath fanning across your face you kept your head straight on the sky

“now what?” he softly whispered it to you, your stomach violently dipped and your heart practically stopped

youre all “uhhhh uh- well, uh, you just um- see that sorta diamond of stars over there? and then it sorta uh, has a triangle on top?”

jisung follows your line of eyesight and tries to focs on specific stars that make out the shape, he sees it “oH! i see it!”

“yeah, thats lyra, its a harp basically.”

jisung squints and you lightly turn your head to him, not fully, just enough to see his face. “oh, it does look like a harp i guess, whys it there?”

“it represents the lyre of orpheus, who was a greek poet and musician, he was killed though...”

“wow, thats sad but also so cool...” jisungs phone buzzes, you see its a message from someone called minho, asking where he is

“crap, y/n, ive gotta go but um. i really liked talking to you and im really interested in the stars now, it seems like theyve all got stories. would you mind teaching me again sometime?”

he was scratching the back of his neck awkwardly

“oh! um- yeah of course i will, i mean, yeah definitely!”

you realised you didnt have his phone, so you couldnt really get your number for him

he saw you looking and spoke up “uh, maybe just next time, um, come and grab me? my apartment is number 6, im almost always there if im not at school really. just, whenever youre going up and you feel like some company, come knock on the door or something?”

you smiled, the thought made you nervous but you did want to see jisung again. “okay, of course.”

he smiled brightly at you, you cursed your heart again, “great! ill get going then, dont stay for too long okay? youll get a cold.” he stood up and waved to you

“bye jisung!” you call out softly as he walks away

you leave not long after he left, it felt boring on your own suddenly. you didnt even remember youd been crying at all, it felt like a massive weight was lifted off of your shoulders.

you slept so easily that night, dreaming of the stars and jisung.

a week and a half later? it was a friday night 

you were packing your box to go stargazing again when you remembered jisung, you wanted to bring him along with you. he might be busy, but you packed an extra couple of blankets and soem pillows and placed them just inside your door before you went downstairs to go and get him

you were so nervous as you knocked on the door, preparing for utter embarrassment. the door opened up tho

“oh, youre not the complex owner thank god.” you were greeted by someone possibly younger than you, he had reddish hair and a sweet smile. “how can i help you?’

you tried to block out the screeches coming from inside the apartment, you could hear about five voices screaming at once “im uh, im y/n, im from upstairs? i was wondering if jisung was here at all?”

he smirked, like he knew something you didnt. “sure one sec, im seungmin by the way.” he turned away from you and screamed into the apartment “jiSUNG, SOMEONES HERE FOR YOU, HURRY UP.” 

“coMING!!” was heard throughout the apartment followed by a “fELiX gEt ofF Of mE” and seungmin smiled awkwardly at you before a head popped past the wall into the entrance way

“oh! y/n! you came!” he tried to walk over to the door but you noticed a body dragging on his legs.

“jiSUNG PLEASE DO MY CHORES FOR ME.” the boy yelled at jisungs feet

seungmin laughed, looking at you saying “ill leave you to it” before jogging over to a tangled up jisung and who you presumed was felix and tearing felix from jisungs body, dragging him away

“uh, sorry about that, hes lazy and pathetic.” jisung laughed, so did you

“i was just wondering if you were free? i was about to go up to the roof..”

jisung smiled brightly, “of course, let me get my coat and phone.”

once he was ready you two went up to your apartment, you told him to come in and wait a bit while you made him a hot drink of hit choice, then you grabbed some pillows and your box and you both walked up the remaining flights of stairs to the roof

it was the beginning of a tradition really, youd go down and grab him, his housemates would call for him as soon as the saw you, before he left theyd whisper things into his ear that made him blush but you simply shrugged it off

after about two months of going up to the roof together, you admitted to yourself that you liked him

a lot

you liked his smile, his voice, how he was endlessly making you happy, you liked he warmth of when hed lie next to you and the way he’d rest a hand on your lower back, guiding you up the stairs. you liked his goodbye hugs and the way he’d hold your hands the one week you couldnt find your gloves. you liked how he was so interested in the stars like you, but you considered giving up looking at the sky to simply look into his eyes because they held galaxies within them. you liked the way he’d whisper your name to check if you were awake and the gentle touch of his fingertips when he brushed your hair out of your eyes

you liked him so much, you couldnt deny it. it crushed you in a way, you thought he would never like you back, and you increasingly got more nervous and drifted away bit by bit

one night, you were up on the roof and jisung sighed loudly, you asked him what was wrong

“can i rant a little bit? please?” jisung had puppy eyes as he sat up and looked at you, you sat up as well and nodded for him to go on

“ah, this is hard,” he started before looking at the pot plants next to your set up that were the centrepiece of the rooftop, 

“i um, basically i like this uh, this person right? i like them as more than a friend,” your heart clenched and dropped to your stomach. oh. this was heart break. “we’ve been friends for a while and i thought, well, yeah i thought id been quite obvious with my feelings. i hoped that their shyness was them maybe reciprocating my feelings but? maybe not. lately theyve just-”

jisung huffed and looked up at you again, your heart got caught in your throat, you could see he was nervous about telling someone about his crush and he looked sad talking about the unfortunate circumstances

“theyve been distancing themselves from me. they flinch away we i try to be more affectionate and- and they just dont seem like they like me anymore. not even in a romantic way, in a friend way. and im just upset i guess. ive never ever liked someone this much before, every night im filled with these feelings of just wanted to cuddle with them and take them on dates and hold their hands and- and kiss them. the whole package. it hurts, y/n. why dont they like me?”

the sad feeling you was feeling showed in your voice as you replied. “youre a great person jisung, theyd be an idiot not to like you, seriously. i cant think of someone more deserving of love than you.” you tried to nervously look into his eyes

“then why dont they like me y/n? no one ever likes me.” he was still looking down onto the ground

“i like you jisung.” 

oh no

oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no W O R D   V O M I T

you clenched your eyes shut, your heart was beating rapidly, you cant believe you just said that when hed just been speaking about liking someone else. you wanted to cry, to bury yourself alive, anything to get out of that situation.

“really? what?” he snapped his head up, staring at you wide eyed and shocked

“nevermind jisung, forget i said it, i didnt mean to make it awk-”

jisung cupped your cheeks, you felt his warm palms and cool fingertips before you felt his lips, slightly chapped yet soft

your mind was going crazy, you barely managed to move your lips along with jisungs before he parted away, still holding your cheeks and smiling widely

“out of all the stars in this world, youre the brightest y/n.”

you died inside before realising he liked you, all the things he said earlier were about you

jisungs eyes were hopeful, happy, loving, especially when you smiled at him so purely

“jisung, kiss me again.”

and he did, pulling you into his lap and letting you tangle your fingers into his hair

he even kissed you outside your apartment, giggling in happiness and tugging you into his body before saying goodbye

jisung couldnt remember a time he’d been this happy, and honestly, neither could you.

finish!! hope you liked it omg

[cressed]

50 bookish questions tag

thanks to @midnightinkspill for tagging mee

1. What is your favourite book and/or book series of all time?

lol why u do this to me. i honestly love solitaire by alice oseman a lot but also harry potter and the lunar chronicles. honestly just check my goodreads its in my bio 

2. What is the longest book you have ever read? How many pages?

i think les miserables idk how many pages because i got it as an ebook. either that or lord of the rings cos i got the three in one thingo

3. What is the oldest book you have ever read? (Based on its written date)

the iliad

4. What is a book series that everyone else loves but you do not?

throne of glass lol let me die i hate that series so much dont come @ me

5. What book or book series would you like to see turned into a film/ TV series?

i mean ive always said that the lunar chronciles would make a great movie so :)

6. What is your favourite stand-alone book?

solitaire and i also just finished the hate u give and that was phenomenal

7. What is a book that you feel glad for not reading?

lol rest of the throne of glass series.... even though im gonna download them one day lol

8. What is a book that you feel guilty for not reading?

none because i know im gonna read them eventurally

9. What is a book you have read that is set in your country of birth?

i cant remember the full title but its something something cinnamon girl by melissa keil lol

10. What is a book that you own more than one copy of?

i have three philosopher’s stones and two Emma’s by Jane austen even though i havent read it. 

11. What horror book made you really scared?

ive never read a horror that scared me. i dodnt really read much horror tho

12. What book do you passionately hate?

tog

13. What is the biggest book series you have read? How many books are in it?

does all of rick riordans mythology series count? thers like 25 idek. if not then i will have to say harry potter and im slowly making my way through a series of unfortunate events

14. What book gives you happy memories?

harry potter and lunar chronicles

15. What book made you cry?

i cry in everything lol most recently was half blood prince cos im reading the series again

16. What book made you laugh?

Ihonestly theres always a scene in rick riordans books tha makes me giggle

17. What is your favourite book that contains an LGBTQ+ character?

lol. i dont have an all time fave so im gonna recommend some some. radio silence by alice oseman (every character is lgbt), song of achilles (gay and bi ithink cant remember), raven cycle (gay and bi), perks of being a wallflower (gay side character), the dark wife (lesbian) by sarah diemer, solitaire (gay and bi side character), if i was your girl (trans mc), the complete works of sappho (lol)

18. Have you read a book with a male protagonist? What is it?

who hasn’t lol. rn im reading 20000 leagues under the sea 

19. Have you read a book set on another planet? What is it?

yeah lunar chronicles it was on the moon. also does high fantasy count? then lotr and daughters of the storm by kim wilkins. those are the only two high fantasy i like.

20. Have you ever been glad to not finish a series? Which?

nah i try to finish everything just in case. but im not mad if i dont

21. Have you ever read a book series because you were pressured?

oh my god.carrie by stephen king (shit) and misery by stpehen king (even shitter). (sorry caitlin). 

22. What famous author have you not read any books by?

i mean ive attempted jane austen a few times, never read mark twain either. im slowly making my way thru the classics. 

23. Who is your favourite author of all time?

i stan marissa meyer so hard because she is like so well rounded? great plots, characters, writing and themes. although if there are no lgbt characters in renegades im unstanning lol

24. How many bookshelves do you own?

two but only one is for books

25. How many books do you own?

goodreads says ive read 490 so i’d have probably about 300-430 on my shelf perhaps

26. What is your favourite non-fiction book?

I constanly think abour Eartha kitt’s autobiography ‘i’m still here’ nearly every day lol. that was amazing.

27. What is your favourite children’s/middle-grade book?

his dark matericals by phiilip pullman

28. What is your next book on your TBR?

the kite runner

29. What book are you currently reading?

20000 leagues under the sea

30. What book are you planning on buying next?

hunted by megan spooner

31. What was the cheapest book you bought?

it was this weird book called in search of ancient gods and its about how religion is invented by aliens. i got it for free from a church op shop.

32. What was the most expensive book you bought?

i think it might have been the casual vacancy by jk rowling. 

33. What is a book you read after seeing the movie/ TV series?

girl interrupted

34. What is the newest book you have bought?

the kite runner

35. What three books are you most looking forward to reading this year?

im doing the popsugar reading challenge so i usually dont even know what im gonna read until its time. im gonna try and fit renegades into it somehow, also that beauty and the beast spin-off book ‘lost in a book’, and tbh im pretty excited to read hunted.

36. What is a book you love that has a terrible trope? (Love triangle, etc)

lunar chronicles. the terrible trope was heterosexuality.

37. Have you read a book in a different language? What was it?

i tried to read the history of alexander the great with a greek-english dictrionary but i couldnt do it lol

38. What is a book you’ve read that is set in a time period before you were born?

u kno there are a lot of better examples but all i cant think of right now is outlander.

39. What book offended you?

im offended by the existence of throne of glass >:)

40. What is the weirdest book you have read?

yeah. insearch of anceint gods. ill give u abit of the blurb.”before the dawn of recorded history, the Earth was host to extra-terrestrial beings ... [who] left signs unmistakable of their visit.” if you’ll remember its about how religions are created by aliens. one of the reviews is by ‘the universe’. i dont know if thats a newspaper or what. its also non-fiction.

41. What is your favourite duology?

soc is the only duology ive finished pretty sure. i did like passenger by alexandra bracken. i just havent got wayfinder yet. 

42. What is your favourite trilogy?

lord of the rings

43. What book did you buy because of its cover?

ghostgirl by tonya hurley (its honestly so pretty). stealing snow by danielle paige. also the 20th anniversary edition of harry potter.

44. What is a book that you love, but has a terrible cover?

the cover i have of anne of green gables is ugly af. also the uk covers of percy jackson are disgusting. 

45. Do you own a poetry anthology? What is your favourite poem from it?

yeah i have a few. leonard coehen, sappho, rupi kaur, amanda lovelace, and lang leav. i also have this teen poem anthology i got from netgalley.

anyway sappho is my fave poet so i will do one from her things.

i shall be ever maiden

if thou be not my lover,

and no man shall posess me

henceforth and forever

but thou alone shalt gather

this fragile flower of beauty -

to crush and keep fragrance

like a holy incense

thou only shalt remember

this love of mine, or hallow

the coming years with gladness,

calm pride and passion

46. Do you own any colouring books based off other books?

no

47. Do you own any historical fiction?

yeah there is a few

48. What book made you angry?

tog. also the hate u give but in a good way

49. What book has inspired you?

all books inspire me

50. What book got you into reading?

harry potter and also twilight lol. then lunar chronicles made me read heaps more than i did before because i doubted i could find a book as good as it and i wanted to challenge myself

idk how many booky people follow me back who will do this so i tag whoever wants to do it just tag me in it so i van see ur answers!