#anyway im fine i just feel like crying bc i barely have energy to wash my ass everyday and now i have to do all this shit

[trademarkhubris]

dark thoughts about how good for the economy floods and other small disasters like the one i endured, or bigger ones i really dont want to think abt rn. my insurance is actually one of the less annoying out there. they'll ask for a quote from a specialist and send the money and then you can do wtf you want. for the most part.

but thats for... the pool, the walls... immovable property... anything thats furniture is reimbursed based on the purchasing price, minus 10% per year since purchase. that means if an object is ten years old, you get zilch.

my big freezer has a good 20 years behind it, it got toasted in the flood. the small summer fridge is from 2005, maybe it survived. the karsher is 15 years old, dead. the compressor is??? maybe it survived, maybe it didnt, but i saw it floating on its belly in mud water so yeah. the small oven and microwave i was keeping from a friend were his grandma's, dead. my washing machine is from at least 2010, only one button works now, it starts on its own & we cant change the programs anymore. my fridge is from the fucking fifties. its not broken *yet* but this year has not been a lucky year so far

plus two of the cars got water in... they're starting but if theres water damage thats not covered... and the vehicle safety inspection just got harder to pass... my mechanic had like 6 or 7 cars behind the garage that were just. going to the junkyard.

so will my insurance refund the time spent washing the house and garden?! or spent looking for my goldfish in the grass. or spent wondering if the cat last seen under a car made it somewhere else bc the water is now halfway to the tyres. or all the food that unfroze. or stressig over how this could probably happen again anytime now bc the environment is so fucked next week is heatwave then rain then heatwave then thunderstorm and the town doesnt care abt how shitty their water evacuation system is and the power outages did i mention the power outages bc these clowns make their live wires with ass hair

& they also dont refund the time spent on the phone with people saying "some people have it worse than you do!" yeah thanks! if you had two cents of empathy you'd realize all the reasons why that doesn't make me feel better! but youre just doing your job so i'll shut the fuck up!

im not... we're not dirt poor... we have a money cushion rn... bc family members died... but its money im so fucking scared to touch... bc i dont have a job... my moms job is not super well paying... we have way too many animals... the *human* health insurance here is pretty fucking great but i dont have a health insurance for every pet i have... and they need to eat... and we need to eat... the house is relatively expensive to maintain and we need to put it back in shape if we want to sell it to find a smaller less costly one... and now floods... that money is something we're all in all really fucking lucky to have, and i say that knowing a beloved grandpa died for us to have it

(and on that note; i can't 100% guarantee that for my entire life bc i dont know what the future is made of, but for as long as i can help it i will not have a ko-fi or a gofundme or even an amazon wishlist. theres so many people deeper in money issues than i have ever been. i cant pretend to understand what theyre going through or that i deserve even one percent of what they need.)

anyway thats not what i was gonna say. do you know how good for economy these disasters are? i gotta buy so much shit rn. even if i get help, that money is moving around and into some rich man's picket. my mechanic is overworked (but he always is lmao its the countryside theres always a car to repair) the car carriers have so much work the one who came for us found a way to make our car work again so he could *not* transport it.

theres so much money going around rn lmao. money to the laundromat bc our washer is kaput and we used a lot of towels and drapes to sponge off the water inside, and also regular clothes. money for the new pressure wash to take care of the mud everywhere in the verandas and garages. my neighbor got like 80 cm of mud in her house and she has to remake everything. she lost everything! shes gotta re-buy all that stuff! she'll get help but it's still money moving around! yaaaay!!!!!

so yeah! the planet's so fucked up it's mud party inside my neighbor's house! but the economy fucking LOVES that shit. gobbles it up like a babybel. doesnt even take the red wax off. om nom nom nom nom

anyway im fine its fine its cool isnt it cool everythings cool and fine and awesome late stage capitalism is a dream