Self-Rec Tag Game
Rules: share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.) Then, tag five more people to share the things they've made.
@ghostwise tagged me for this!! thank you, beloved!! it's so fun and i believe in self-hype so here we go. this is bound to get long, sorry.
i'll tag @syrcus @scionshtola @gefiltefished @rickety-goose @myreia @lilas @thevikingwoman (this is seven people BUT many of us have been struggling with The Block lately so i'd love to see you guys celebrate yourselves if you want to 💗)
✨ Something you absolutely adore ✨
in this state (FFXIV): a moment immediately following Ultima Thule's climax, in which estinien and alisaie sit with an unconscious io. i really loved having them ignore and then play off each other for this!
“You care for her, don’t you?” Alisaie asks.
Estinien scowls at the very specific emphasis in the question. He cares about a great many people, Alisaie not least among them. He cares for their causes and their well-being. But that is not what she is asking.
It hasn’t needed a name before now, this feeling. Most often, it is in his chest, unfurling softly each time Io smiles, or rests her head against his shoulder, or speaks kindness to a stranger, until he can feel nothing but her warmth. Other times it shoots up his spine, a radiant pride that strengthens his arm and steadies his aim. It is the knowledge he would follow her anywhere because there is no one he trusts more.
And now it lodges between his ribs, sharp and stinging.
He answers after a long moment.
“Aye.”
✨ Something that was challenging to create ✨
vacation, had to get away (TWC): i attempted to write a spooky story because TWC is not nearly as unsettling a universe as it could be. lots of fun but ough, i was so far out of my romance wheelhouse.
Between the clutter and sightseeing, even under the blazing coastal sun, there’s always something dark shifting just at the edge of Rebecca’s vision. Faint shadows twisting out of view at the last second. The wound-wet itch of unease prickling her skin.
Someone is watching—of that, she’s certain.
✨ Something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably) ✨
oblivious (FFXIV): aymeric and estinien catching up and being besties. aymeric living for his friend having a crush. plus the groupchat decided this was the one (1) time aymeric is allowed to say "fuck."
“Mm, perhaps ‘friend’ is erroneous in both cases. Nevertheless, I am pleased you have someone like her,” Aymeric pauses, “for support, of course, as you adjust to– what was it again?– 'all these fucking academics.’ Though, I am confident they are thrilled to have you on their side.”
Estinien leans back on his heels, chuckling at Aymeric’s weak-voiced swear. “Aye, they’re a hospitable group.” He glances up the stairs. Io and General Aldynn are inside now, and though his face does not betray him, there is a gravity to his pining. It pulls at him. He takes a step forward, clapping Aymeric on the shoulder. “I should go inside. It was good to see you, my friend. Give my regards to our brothers in arms, will you?”
✨ Something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.) ✨
praying that it waits for me (TWC): a fic about bumbling side character Douglas, which has had an amount of praise that still astounds and moves me, even two years later. i've read and reread every comment, tag, and little story folks have put on about accepting themselves and their queerness. i cannot tell you how much this piece means to me, and i am so humbled it resonated with so many friends and readers.
He starts gathering the threads. How this started, when he knew, why he hasn’t told his parents.
Why he hasn’t told anyone.
Where he plans to go from here.
He knows the answers, but struggles to weave them into anything solid in his mind. He still has questions of his own, after all.
His sexuality isn’t something he can put into bullet points, no matter how much easier that’d make this conversation. So he sits, swaying on the edge of his truth, still afraid of becoming.
✨ Something you want other people to see ✨
what i see in you, i hope you find in me (FFXIV): my favorite work for io and estinien so far tbh. io's shaky headspace during this portion of EnW was fun to navigate, and i am always pleased to write alisaie. balancing zenos and estinien as romantic foils during this part of her life is also 🥴
“He’s angry with me. I suppose that is his right. I shouldn’t have let them take you two.” Io grits her teeth, fighting against the knot of guilt that has resided in her stomach since the morning.
Estinien is her friend, perhaps the closest she has here besides Alisaie. She understands him, so she can hardly blame him for being upset with her. They are family to him, Alphinaud, and Alisaie by extension. No less than they are to her. He has given Io little more than one-word responses since the twins were found. She may pretend otherwise, but his cold shoulder wounds her.
“Oh, to hells with Estinien.” Alisaie waves a gloved hand dismissively in his direction. “He’ll get over it. Would he have you fire upon civilians while negotiating peace? He may love my brother like a… well, brother, but he must admit there was no ideal series of events to be had. We all did our best, and we all made it through.”
(spicy edition under the cut because i am 50% a smut writer after all)
✨ Something you absolutely adore ✨
flood (FFXIV): i actually really love this fic, it's spicy then it gets SO mushy. describing the position in a way that sounds hot and achievable was tough, ngl, but this is so so indicative of their intimate dynamic in general.
Already, the first threads of her climax quiver in her belly, pulled taut like a bow, like the curl of her back, as she anticipates the release to come. One move from Estinien, and she will shatter.
He opens his eyes, hungrily surveying the twist of her body, enthralled by the lace framing her breasts. Io is so close, and can’t help herself. “You are adorable.”
Estinien leans forward, arcing his body over hers. The ends of his unbound hair skim her shoulders and chest, featherlight touches in stark contrast to the stinging tug on her scalp. His lips brush Io’s in an intimation of a kiss, warm breath washing over her face and neck as he teases her with gentleness.
“And you are already throbbing. When you come, I want to hear it, yes?”
✨ Something that was challenging to create ✨
too precious (blooming panic): uh. i wrote this out of spite because i hated the dom!toasty happenings LMAO. figuring out their sexual dynamic was a fun challenge. lots of blushing.
“I love how patient you’ve been, letting me take you in like this.” A real kiss, finally, and he sighs into her mouth. It kills him, not being able to rest his hands on her body, or run them through her hair. They twitch helplessly in the ties at either side of the bed, and Teddy kisses him harder to compensate.
✨ Something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably) ✨
in the light i thought i saw you (wayfarer): just filling in the blanks of ephyra's time with veyer at the gala. they are both SUCH little shits in this, it makes me laugh.
She touches their clit. The hitch of their breath is felt more than heard, and it’s Ephyra’s turn to laugh. “Oh?”
Veyer’s head falls forward, cradled between her shoulder and neck, and Ephyra’s head spins again. Veyer is… strikingly vulnerable, more than she expected for a Guild Mage. They’re so open, too close. It’s almost uncomfortable.
Almost.
They grind against her palm, their own touch becoming erratic for a moment, before gently, firmly pulling her hand away. Did she do something wrong?
They tsk a couple times, and a fresh grin pulls at their lips. “Not yet, Ephyra. I need both our focuses here-” They curl their fingers inside her to emphasize the point. “Be patient, dear.”
✨ Something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.) ✨
alma.mp4 (TWC): i love writing self-love smut but i'm always shocked when other people are into the way i write it LMAO.
“How do I taste, Mason?”
She lifts her fingers, dripping and slick, to his mouth. The smirk parts and he takes them in with no hesitation. His tongue slides over them, between them, and Mason’s never been good at savoring.
He devours.
Eyes half-lidded like he might be a little drunk on her taste, he presses a wet kiss to her palm. His lips come away shining. “Better than blood, sweetheart.”
✨ Something you want other people to see ✨
something to talk about (FFXIV): idk i just think io should be allowed to be bossy sometimes and i think estinien would like it.
He removes his shirt while she unties his pants, pushing them past his hips. Candlelight dances across his skin and in his mussed hair. Io bites back the urge to tell him how beautiful he looks, cast in orange-gold light, already panting, barely holding onto the leash of his restraint. She strokes him with a deft hand, as familiar with his tells as he is with hers. The hitching breath, the white knuckle grip. This was his game, was it not?
Io slides the tip of his cock into her cunt, then cups his chin. She murmurs against his lips, “come on, then.”
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i haven't gotten to do a deep dive blaseball numbers question in a while. so when @leonstamatis asked a question and i realized i was curious, i got excited.
how common/likely is it for a blb player to have a completely unique name that they do not share with anyone. a first and last name, neither of which has been given to anyone else yet.
TLDR: 5.5% of all randomly-generated names are fully unique, and 7% of randomly-generated names of beta players are fully unique within the beta.
but let's break it down a little more.
so first thing's first: i needed a list of players. a quick check with sibr and i ended up using astrology to get two lists: one of all the players from the beta/gamma teams, and one of all the players on delta/coronation teams. i merged the lists and made a note of when players first appeared: beta, coronation, coffee cup, prehistory, the forbidden short circuits teams that didn't make it onto the website, you get the idea.
final list: 5,072 names. boy howdy.
next: nonrandom names! a lot of names were generated in nonrandom ways, like replicas (which are all named after the original player), coffee cup teams (where the artists/data witches/real game band were all manually named), and even things like evelton mcblase ii and bontgomery mullock, where the name is based on another randomly generated name.
list of random names: 4,876. if that's not 3.8% more manageable then i don't know what is!
from there the steps were pretty simple. separate the names into first/given names and last/surnames, see how many of each of those was unique, and then see how many names were not shared with anyone else.
so looking at all of the 4,876 players randomly generated ever at all:
752 have unique first names (15.4%)
926 have unique surnames (19%)
259 have completely unique names (5.3%)
most of the 259 unique names come from prehistory, with an overwhelming 51%, followed by 26% from beta and 13% from the coronation era.
of course, most of us are here primarily for the beta, so how does that stack up? there are 973 names generated that were on beta teams, either in active play or in the shadows. of those 973 names,
227 have unique first names (23%)
250 have unique last names (25.7%)
68 have completely unique names (7%)
for me, this all naturally leads to another question: what are the most common names? across all 4,876 players the most common first names are:
dimi (12)
sebastian (12)
chandra (10)
ruth (10)
bennett (10)
bernie (10)
dagmar (10)
dominic (10)
eliot (10)
wyatt (10, although 4 of these are due to the wyatt masoning)
and the most common surnames are:
murphy (12)
davis (11)
caster (10)
highway (10)
horne (10)
schofield (10)
based on these numbers, which names are the least unique - that is to say, who has the most other players that match either their first or last name?
juan murphy (6 other juans, 11 other murphys)
eliot schofield (8 other eliots, 9 other schofields)
sebastian owens (11 other sebastians, 6 other owenses)
dimi santana (11 other sebastians, 6 other santanas)
and the final question: what full names have been randomly generated more than once? there are 8, and all of them happened in short circuits:
bees manhattan
candy finnegan
copernicus biscuits
layla pork
levar shoemaker
sancho thrower
tall everts
worf hatchler
and notably, the pairs of candy finnegan and layla pork were within the same short circuit! every other pair was across two different circuits.
if you're interested in name uniqueness, here's my spreadsheet - i did the legwork so you don't have to! please drop me a line if you notice anything weird (sooooooo many nonrandom names have snuck into my random names tab) and if you do any other name number crunching, let me know about that too!
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