#anyway schultz will have a friend in Noble

[fazcinatingblog]

Lachie Schultz arriving at collingwood knowing he's already got a spot for round 1 in a premiership team:

[sarcasticstardust]

I have this stupid idea for an AU  where my levellan inquisitor finds solas in the year(s?) before the inquisition happens. I've never written the story of my inquisitor but have this whole convoluted plot and background. Little background on my Inquisitor is needed so trying make this simple as possible.

She touched an ancient elvhen artifact as a kid when her dalish clan was parked next to a ruin and went exploring doing the following the willow of the wisp sort of thing (think Brave and the lights in the forest leading to the witch's cottage).  Touched the cool glowing alter/idol/gem/staff etc and boom! Wakes up and she's mute talking without wound coming out and a bit unware of the fact. She also acting kind of strange, watching things off in the distance like a cat intently fixed on an object that you just can’t see if you look in the same spot. She is aware of her surroundings and responds to her name and getting her attention but shes half off in lala land.  She survived with no demon in her as far as they can tell so they let her stay in the clan. She tends to wonder off so much that her parents do the kid leash while they do their chores sometimes leaving her staked in a safe clearing.

Templars find her and strange shit goes down so they assume that the savages staked the  baby mage out to lure either something out of fade or them into a trap, best option is take the kid and bounce. So they get her to the nearest chantry get her cleaned up and fed before dumping her in the circle and off they go doing routine templar stuff having done their good deed. So she gets this awesome education despite being locked in the circle and and everyone treating her as Tranquil-ish. Getting all the academic and religious studies but when they came to study magic theory and practice she got sent to the practical arts of potions, alchemy, enchanting and gardening. So awesome at gardening and potions.  After a very complicated couple of years she winds up back with the dalish after offically dying in the Blight according to the chantry.

Btw she was not in Fereldran for longer then a year this is not a growing up next to the grey warden Amell story as my grey warden canon is Solana Amell with a Zevran romance.

So I can't recall who came up with this awesome headcanon of  traveling keepers but hot damn if that wasn't the best thing to play with. So she still gets twitchy and wonders off not quite fitting in, even with the very unconventional lavellan clan. They lay the whole wondering keeper tradition on her and give her a halla to guide her cause those critters are the homing pigeons of the dalish, they always find home.

They stamp a vallaslin of Jun on her, my own headcanon: each clans vallaslin design waiver on artistic styles, and whose applies it the Jun’s tend to stay a bit more uniform so that the clans that openly trade with the humans can identify the pictures and say "hey look! One of those trading elves!" As IB said "Gotta keep the name simple so the nobles will get it" ie keep the pictures pretty much the same and the humans are less likely to kill you if you wonder close too the town in you intend to trade.

Anyway she's really good at herbs and potions so she is a wondering apothecary with a covered wagon and a giant hart with antlers with dangly ribbons and bells, one to alert any everyone their coming not really scared of being robbed when you have a 800lb moose equivalent to pull your wagon, and it scares away predators in the forest.. She has contacts with the dwarves and also supplies illegal lyrium items to the clans but no one cares about the strange dalish smiling and waving everyone as they pass on the road. Imagine something like Dr. King Schultz from Django Unchained with his tooth wagon as he cheerily enters town and people just staring.

So getting to the AU she finds Solas sleeping in a ruin and she's read about they ancient elves that pulled a sleeping beauty in an ancient Tevinter book. They are isolated mages in a tower, the chantry didn't care that they had arguments via messages with Tevinter magisters as long as they didn't try to go to tevinter and no blood magic was mentioned while the letters were screened.

She can feel him moving around in the fade while being physically asleep in a mountain ruin, invested with spiders and possibly other beasties,  in the middle of winter, wrapped only in a blanket. yeah no. She got his half frozen in the wagon moving away from the mountain and he only woke up after they moved a considerable distance like he's out of wifi signal range. He wakes up and talks while she works around him which is how their relationship kind of is for awhile him talking and her acting until they develop a working sign language.

So other headcanon time: lyrium is so volatile that even the sound waves can set it off including talking. So being smart and enterprising, dwarves have developed a basic sign language called hand speech mainly made up of  directions (left, right, stop, go) and insults. This is a trade secret and Bramble only knows this due to having friends in the lyrium trade which is a story unto itself. This involves templars, seekers, a magical game of fetch, tea with the Divine and a daring escape. She uses this connection to get the lyrium supplies to the clans. Since no one cares about the crazy mute dalish everyone not a dwarf thinks she's just waving her hands. This means she’s excused from the basic punishment of using the speech among those not in the carta, cartal or other dwarven guilds, loss of limb or life.

Solas for reasons I have figured out travels with her as a crazy hobo apostate and dalish apothecary tag team arguing in public as the to academic nerds developed hand speech into a full blown language only known by them. Mostly is being strange elves out of place in the world elves traveling the length and breadth of Thedas getting into trouble and hi-jinks pulling the old married couple trope while falling in love.

Meh... have picture of outfits from the Inquisitor viking doll challenge, only two cause I'm lazy and need to go to bed. She has a natural afro of bouncy curls but not many dolls makers have this option so this is my best effort at creating a bit of the effect.