#anyway that's a wip i'll finish someday.... sweats

[cinnamelle]

girls doing girly besties things

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

Say Something

I finished another wip. This one had been written when I had gotten a prompt back when I used to be in the Dwc, but since I couldn't get the idea to flow back then for this idea, I had ended up writing another fic (which can be read here) instead. Still, I finished this one because I read it again not that long ago and have decided it acts as a prequal of sorts since it takes place before the reader and Zeta-7 were dating. I hope you guys like it.

In this fic the reader tries to say something.

____________

You should say something, but the words dare not reach; you glance up, and spot gladness and buck teeth; this bringing you equal parts joy and grief. If you glance down, you can take in the ridges on his fingernails, and the invisible patterns his fingers make when he isn't paying attention. Word by word, he weaves and pieces together a charming story of youth, curiosity, and naivete; of the world, it's myths, and the harsh, but slightly amusing peculiarities which made it equal parts intrigue and confusion in his soft inflection. Oh, he was so close, but you wished he was closer; in spirit, truth, and unity; whatever this meant in the intangible space and discordant thought process which was altogether another hurdle which needed to be broken. Sweet air which came from thin lips, warm breath, soft smiles, and the gentle man; you wanted to breathe him, but while he was everything to you, you were still the same silly woman, who happened to only be his best friend and neighbor; conscious of every movement of his, from the grand smiles which birthed new wrinkles about his eyes, to the illustrative gestures which carried into his stories; if they were for you, why you could climb mountains; albeit if they were many or few.

“And that's how I-I found this bent penny.” he finished, interrupting your train of thought.

You swore you had heard this story before; he could be forgetful every so often, but you didn't mind. Part of what made him endearing was the enthusiasm in which he told a story. Though, now that it was done, you smiled. “That was nice, but now it's my turn to pick one.”

From a hat, you two took turns choosing folded pieces of paper, which contained questions or dares. Rick thought it would be a lovely game to play to get to know each other better. Though you wondered what the point was since you weren't really all that interesting. He was the one with all the stories, and you were the one with the no-nonsense answers. Yet, you knew it made him happy, and you hated to disappoint him meaning you'd humor him; more like you couldn't refuse him.

Dipping your hand into the hat, you found one all the way at the bottom, which read: Say the words you long to hear. At seeing it, he scratched the back of his neck, “Y-y-you don't have t-to answer it if you - if you don't want to. I just,” he paused, a bit sheepish as he chewed his bottom lip in the usual way which made you want to pull him close and tell him all the inclinations of your heart. Studying you, he seemed concerned as to what you might say, but he simply confessed. “I-I put that one in there for - for myself. I-I never thought you'd get it.”

“How interesting. But really, it's fine. I think I can answer this one. Though, I'd love to have a little more tea if you wouldn't mind.”

Jumping up, he beamed at the possibility of bringing you delight. Ricks tea blends always had a way of stirring up your feelings, and tonight was no different. The last cup had been a calming chamomile, made from the chamomile which he grew in his garden; reminding you of the cozy evenings sitting in the kitchen, listening to the classical covers of your father's favorite songs, while he chatted on about his day at work as you resisted the urge to play with his hair and cuddle up closer to him. Now, as he reached for your cup, his light scent kissed your nose, and for dear life, you prayed you wouldn't reach for that blue corded hand and refuse to let go of it. He must have noticed something was wrong, for his hand paused and instead of picking up your cup, he pressed a hand to your forehead. “Are y-y-you feeling okay? You look a-a little flushed. I-I-I hope you're not getting sick.”

For the life of you, you couldn't reply; his general concern for you maddening. Sweet, dearest man, if only you had been older, then perhaps your emotions could be justified. Didn't he realize what he was doing to you? You shook your head no, and while he didn't seem fully convinced, he removed his hand and picked up your cup. “Sit tight, I'll - I'll be right back.”

And like that, you were watching him go, and as always he was oblivious to your sincerest affections. Oh Rick, always finding new ways to test your endurance. In order to carry on, you had to make yourself think of a thousand little things that didn't include him. Yet, nonetheless, failing to do so every time.

__________

By the time he returned, you were fully convinced that what you were about to say might sound forward, but if you didn't say it, there was no way you'd say it again. “The words I long to hear," you started softly, "did you still want to hear them?”

“Gosh, there's n-no pressure." he confessed as he set down your cup. "However, if y-you care to tell me, then it's - it's fine. Whatever makes y-y-you most comfortable is fine.”

You took a deep breath, holding it in until it burned, then let it go. Here goes nothing you thought. “What I long to hear is that it doesn't matter, I love you anyway.”

The stillness of the room did not escape you as you attempted to calm your tremulous heart. If you hadn't been mistaken, you thought you saw him visibly tense up and sweat a little. Of course, it could've just been his nerves, but him being a smart man, a genius in fact, you wondered if he could read between the lines; sprouting ideas which might've seemed far-fetched without gentle encouragement.

And for a few moments, he ruminated over what you said, but then he shook his head and replied. “That's - that's lovely. I-I hope you'll get t-t-to hear them someday.”

You felt a pang of hurt, but you knew that he would never say it with meanness. "I hope so too." you sighed.

To avoid his gaze and to hide your embarrassment, you picked up your cup which had been filled with a different kind of brew then before, but instead of questioning it, you simply sipped; its floral, spicy goodness providing a minor solace to the constant ache which fanned itself upon the flames of these unrequited affections.

“O-o-okay, now it's - it's my turn.” he brightened.

And with his sing-song voice twisting, and curling about you, you allowed yourself to indulge in a few daydreams while he went into another story, that had nothing to do with the slip of paper he picked out. And whether it was only wishful thinking, you thought you had seen a glimmer of something that wasn't there before as he chatted away. Oh, if only. Perhaps it was simply a trick of the eyes, or the hearts fantasy clouding your otherwise sound judgment. A girl could dream, couldn't she?

Fin

[igarbagecannoteven]

Hi megs! 1, 13, 28 for any fic, and 34 for the fic writer asks pleasies and thanks. Good luck with your critiques I am sending you So Much motivation <3

hi team! the most pressing critiques are done so i can relax for the night :)) i hope you're doing well!!

1. who's your favorite character(s) to write for? ooo that's a tricky one! is it cheating to say it depends on the month? some days i vibe more with one of them and then some days i'll vibe more with another one and in the end i feel like it balances out. they also are all challenging in different ways, but i do like a challenge when it comes to writing so that's not really a negative. i'm so sorry this is such a non-answer ksjdfkljsd if you'd like a specific i'll say that these past couple of weeks i've been vibing with writing calum the most, but who knows where i'll be next time you check in lol

13. when did you start writing fanfic? in eighth grade i start my still-unfinished epic that was all about the next generation in harry potter and i've been working on that on and off up until literally last year and then i discovered 5sos fic and here i am! that next gen hp au still lives in my head and occasionally reminds me of just how much i had planned and never got anywhere close to finishing. maybe someday i'll pick it back up, but for now it's semi-permanently shelved.

28. is there a part of we gotta make a decision (leave tonight or die this way) you’re surprised no one has picked up on yet? okay i picked this fic bc it's the one where i know the most about the world outside what's "on the page" as it were and also these are my boys. my children. the start of my magnum opus. /hj. anyways idk someone may have picked up on this and just didn't say anything (you know how the kudos-to-comments ratio be like) but there is one line that's a nod to you might think by the cars! does this song have anything to do with the world? not really! but i love the particular lyric so much and besides it's a driving fic and the band's name is the cars so what more connection do you need kdjglkdjlfjdjlkgdf

34. have you felt emotional while writing a scene before? what scene was it? yes a couple times! i actually cried while writing this one wip which is an arrival (2016) au that focuses more on the relationship and what happens after the movie ends so if you know the movie then you can probably guess why i cried lol. (if you don't know it don't sweat it, just know it do be angsty tho.) but i find that writing from raw emotions can often lead to mediocre prose (in my case, i can't speak for other people) so i try to put some distance btwn myself and the feelings i'm writing about. for example, don't let me drown in my mind is heavily inspired by my real life, but i waited about two months to try and write about it, and i also made sure i was in a better headspace before i started it bc selfcare <3

send me some fanfic writer asks!