#anyway this is my sexy-ass fic list follow for more hashtag poggers

[anonymous-dentist]

oh if we’re doing karlnapity fic recs, here are some of my favorites! 

You’re Dead by Anonymous

“So, what, Dream made a deal with a demon and got possessed?” Quackity asks.

The notion should be laughable. Sapnap should be able to laugh it off. But something just…

“Couldn’t we just break the deal, then?” Karl asks. “Wouldn’t that get the demon to leave?”

“So… exorcism,” Quackity settles on. He shrugs. “It’s what we decided on first. We just need to figure out how to do it.”

“And we need to figure out how to get Dream in the pentagram or whatever,” Sapnap adds. “He’s not stupid. He’ll see I’m a vampire and’ll just kill me. And then he’ll kill Quackity for killing me.”

Karl sneers, eyes darkening, literally, their glow darkening to a normal, human level. “He can try.”

Vampire hunter Sapnap wakes up a vampire, which is somehow the least of his problems. Because besides having to deal with his accidental piece of shit sire, Quackity, and Quackity’s wacky, yet lovable, eldritch horror not-boyfriend Karl, Sapnap has to deal with the highs and lows of undeath and his best friend being possessed by a demon. Shit sucks! (Pun not fucking intended, thank you very much.)

Bury Me Beneath the Golden Sage by Anonymous

“Karl, did you steal a dude?” Sapnap teasingly asks.

Well, uh, maybe, but he doesn’t need to know that. Not unless it’s important, and maybe it will be important at some point. There are many concerning things about Quackity, not the least of which being him apparently being sent to Kinoko to kill the gods damned king, and that will probably require Sapnap’s attention at some point. But now? Nah.

“Mmmmaybe,” Karl hums.

Karl is King George’s official court mage, and that’s fine and all. He’s got a hot boyfriend already, and he gets a pretty hefty paycheck once a month, and that’s all pretty cool. And then he breaks a guy out of the dungeons who wasn’t supposed to be there, and his life gets much more complicated. 

Rotten to the Core by Anonymous

“Nice trick,” Quackity coolly says, desperately trying to sound braver than he feels. 

Schlatt preens under the praise, mood flipped, neck craning slightly. “I know. It ain’t mine, though, I’m just borrowing it. Hey, lemme ask you something, kid, do you always dream of your ex-boyfriend like this? Kinda creepy if you ask me.”

Again, yeah, no, this definitely isn’t Schlatt. If Quackity wasn’t sure that something was up, this would solidify it. Schlatt would get all pissy if Quackity even mentioned thinking about wanting to take a break. Piece of shit. Rot in hell, bastard. 

But if this isn’t Schlatt, and this is a dream, then what the fuck is going on? This isn’t Schlatt, but it’s someone in Quackity’s dream or whatever. That can control the dream, unless this is a lucid dream, but Quackity has never been able to do that. Lucid dreaming never works for him; all it does is bring his sleep paralysis demon around to play. 

A lot of weird stuff has been happening to Quackity lately, but this might just take the cake. 

“What are you?” Quackity hesitantly asks. 

“What, can’t you tell?” Schlatt innocently asks. His head lolls slightly as a Cheshire smile creeps across his face, uncanny and far too wide for a human face. “I’m a god, and you’re fucked, kid.”

Quackity crashes his car into a tree and finds out he’s a demigod in the span of a very confusing 72 hours. Less than a day later, he’s back on the road playing chauffer to a kid named Sapnap as he quests his way down to South Carolina. The Apple of Discord is on the loose, and so is its mistress, and that shit ain’t gonna fly, not on Athena’s watch. And this is fine and all, really, but how does this weird hitchhiking mortal fit into this?