#anyway. i said it before and i'll say it again that i find film analysis difficult

[sisterdivinium]

(One thing I find peculiar and unfortunate in current fandom business is the seeming lack of pointed discussion, so here is a humble attempt to spark a conversation and I more than welcome commentary.)

I came across someone in the notes to a post somewhere talking of how Jillian had been better styled in season two than in season one and I agreed, already seeking the justification for it in my mind. My observations are as follows:

S1 Jillian is Arq-Tech's mastermind and public face. Even though we first meet her in Morocco, in her explorer, Indiana Jones-like garb, it's the image of her running her company that sticks with us, her statements to the press, her corporate persona opening metaphorical fire upon the Church. A "powerful woman" as mainstream media constructs for us everyday, in subtle but visible makeup so as to diminish the effects of age on her face, in heels so as to peek at the rest of humanity from above, with controlled gestures meant for the inherent theatricality that comes with introducing life-changing technology to society. It is a role she plays—well, but a role nonetheless.

The scene she shares with father Vincent is worthy of mention, for while he sits without taking up much space, his body restrained to the side of a couch, his legs crossed in what is deemed a more "feminine" posture, Jillian takes up the traditional "masculine" attitude: she commands the room, her body expanding upon her seat, in the broad pose where an ankle rests upon a knee, complete with a generous glass of alcohol in hand and talon on foot. Yet this is also for show­—it's a little too calculated, a dance that was so perfected in exhaustive practice that it lost its dynamic.

Our glimpses into the more authentic Jillian come in the scenes with Michael—not only because (coded in white and blue as the Virgin Mary of immaculate conception) she plays the part of mother, but because, in her intimacy, far from journalists and employees and the public's prying eyes, she can be more herself within the areas where she conducts her studies. Starting from when Ava asks Jillian to "science her", we never see the doctor in uncomfortable shoes again, as she retreats from entrepreneurial life and into the lab.

This is clearer in season two, for, as Kristian says, she is on sabbatical, thus isolated from general view; S2 Jillian has nobody around her, nobody to impress. Locked away in her Spanish villa, consumed by her son's disappearance, she need not wear a mask. There are no more tellingly feminine accessories, no staged stunts; her clothes and footwear are even more practical, her movements less grand but more human, more expressive (here, of course, we owe it to Thekla Reuten's underrated range). Even as the OCS invites itself into her house, making it a makeshift HQ, she doesn't fall back on the act we saw in the first season.

Jillian's stepping back from the head of her company is not just in name and contract, but in body, too; she leaves the CEO role in her office and comes home to her science and her cause, to her limited inner circle of which only Michael was privy to and into which the OCS nuns end up finding their way.

Colours also indicate a shift—we begin the series seeing her associated with light hues such as white, beige and baby blues, but when season two comes in, Jillian's striking all-white attire is nowhere to be found. The Holy Mother parallel is in shambles after Michael has gone through the ark's portal, the intangibility of this "saintly", aseptic rich genius broken down, her person brought back to Earth after flights of fancy trying to open a gate to Heaven.

We see her in a darker palette, in greys with dashes of white, yes, but never again in full white. It is not just the authorisation to be herself rather than her company's face while in her private world, but also the reflection of her inner darkness and her loss upon her very appearance.

What a more definite loss could mean, now that her son is gone for good, remains a mystery.

For instance, unlike the nun who served as her superior, our Suzanne rejects the characteristic blues of the Order of the Cruciform Sword to don a heavy all-black outfit, more reminiscent of Orthodox priests than it is Roman Catholic nuns; her resurrection through Ava does not lighten her habit, if it does lighten her burden, so we can only assume, going forward, should there be any relation between how each character expresses their inner workings through clothing, that Jillian Salvius would keep the mixture of white and grey that season two brought along... Or go darker still.

[onewomancitadel]

A smattering of general updates:

I played Tears of the Kingdom. I didn't really enjoy it. I understand why it was popular though; I'm just not the demographic for these types of video games anymore. I didn't find it creatively rewarding and after a time I sat there thinking 'I would rather be writing right now', and since then I have learnt that writing is made easier by doing things which are not writing, because it makes me miss it. My dad also doesn't really like it but for some reason has played hundreds of hours in it. I don't know either - I think he will take anything called Zelda at this point.

I spectated the Doctor Who David Tennant Special and watched some clips of the new season. I'm not a fan of RTD, and not a DW fan anymore (not for a long time), but it was an interesting study in how studios try to attract old and new fans.

I read a lot of books, and that lie people tell you about all books being good for you is a lie, because a cyberpunk anthology of short stories made me so angry I got heartburn. I think people who say that are saying so because they wish that they could read a lot, in which case I say, yes I think reading is a gift and we should engage with it, however, sometimes I get so physically angry from something stupid/bad I've read because bad writers exist that it gives me actual pain. I am reading Howl's Moving Castle right now and it's very joyful; I am very surprised by the liberties the animated film took! However so far I do think both experiences are worthwhile, and if you enjoyed the Ghibli film, I very much recommend checking out the original book if you want to revisit that world again. The prose is straightforward but a little whimsical, and Howl is very, very funny. I have laughed aloud a few times.

Well, you know I rewatched Dark, and it's funny that during my exile I said 'this is like if RWBY got the ending it deserves' and then, er, I found out it's not renewed yet, and that's still up in the air, which for the entirety of RWBY I have only had one true moment of doubt of such a thing, and that was a while ago.

On that topic, yes, I still ship Jaune/Cinder, believe Cinder's redemption is likely, etc., although there are some more external concerns I would wager now than before. Before I thought it very possible to do without any commercial influence, and it depends what compromises they do or don't end up making or having already made. My analysis of Jaune's arc in V9 may not hold water as much (e.g. if you lean towards the view there were rewrites to cater to growing the audience, or perhaps it's two ideas married? I'm not sure) so I'm going to think about it more, and there always has been a tension in RWBY between what is being expected/baited and what is foreshadowed/said/actually happens.

I figured out how to write again and what was blocking me, so there's that. To talk about it a bit more, since my break I have worked every single day on writing. My key takeaways are that you need a delicate balance of delusion and self-doubt to get anything done - you don't know you can do something until you actually do it - and every excuse I invented for not writing was not the reason I was not writing. I can write with a migraine beginning to set in on an uncomfortable desk where I can't even rest my elbows properly on the end of a bed with no back support without aircon in the middle of summer before I've even taken my hair out from bedtime plaits in my pyjamas. I didn't even expect to get my fic done right before midnight, actually I was like 'well lol that's not going to happen, I'll write anyway though, fuck New Year's' because I wasn't doing anything, and then I finished and looked at the time and was like ooooh. I actually completed my goal! So I'm very proud of that. Anyway writing is breathing, to me, I go crazy if I don't do it, no matter what it is, and every single piece of nonsense advice of productivity was not helpful, ever, but I did figure it out. Also admittedly I got a fire burning under me again because I found out I was actually right about Raven, in which case I took that as a sign from heaven I was on the right track. One should hope.

I am excited about Dune Part Two, yes, although I am trying to avoid Villeneuve talking about the film because I know all the marketing is basically directed at people who aren't Dune fans, and I have to see it for myself to see what it's worth. I enjoyed the first film, and Villeneuve seems excited to direct Dune Messiah, in which case I am willing to do whatever possible to make that happen. Because that's about as complete a story you're going to get in a major motion picture adaptation and it would be So Fucking Good.

[annaritastella]

Saezuru chapter 43: the sink.

While reading Saezuru for the nth, I might have realized something 🤔

We all know that:

in Ch 42, when Doumeki affirms to Kamiya "i wasn't a member to begin with" he reminded about the moment took placed in Ch 22 when Yashiro, while was on top of D's lap (❤️) was telling him exactly the same thing.

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In chapter 43, once Doumeki turns his eyes on the left he sees the sink and then he decides to don't leave anymore even if Yashiro finished to use the bathroom.

Reading the analysis of Ch 43 (and still thanks to @kiriharaakira for the translation🙏) they says "our Sensei never put something on hers drawers if it has not a meaning, nothing is casual" indeed they were trying to understand why Sensei wanted us to focus on the sink that Doumeki looked. And this is what I think:

While Yashiro was tell him how he "actually" changed and that Doumeki s dream "to become Yakuza" finally came true (we all know though the reason why...) we see Doumeki looking at the sink:

In chapter 22, when Yashiro affirmed "you don't have to became one of us (so a Yakuza) ..." Sensei did the same thing: she put many dialogue bubbles to let us focus on the sink. The question is: why the sink?

(This is my opinion! I don't say this for sure as only our Sensei knows the true that there is behind it)

Anyways, in my opinion, Doumeki, looking at the sink reminded not only when Yashiro was tell him the opposite thing, but when in Ch 6. Doumeki thinks "I don't want him to find out the I can get hard I don't want him throw me away just like a toy that is no longer needed"

And this is exactly what happened:

Yashiro found out, they had sex, Yashiro ran away, and after Hirata s episode, Yashiro ended up saying "I don't remember" (so he thrown Doumeki away)

Still in Ch 6, Doumeki thinks "I want to be by his side/ I'll do anything for that, I'll accept anything/ so I want him to keep me close to him forever "

Then, in Ch. 13, after Doumeki gives blowjob for the first time to Yashiro, he goes to the toilet washing his mount and not only, he felt kinda sad for doing that because he got high too and he doesn't want his Kashira to find out.

Coming back to Ch 6---"I'll do anything for that, I'll accept anything"

And he actually did anything to remain in Yakuza s world and we all can confirm what he went through.

---"so, I want him to keep me close to him forever"

Unfortunately this has not been possible due to Yashiro's decision but, the bright side is that, even if they have been far away for four years, Doumeki was in Yashiro's dream, in his thought, in his every day life so Doumeki actually stayed close to Yashiro in someways.

And the same was for Doumeki: he spent months trying to join Yakuza in order to remain on Yashiro s side, and once he did, he wanted to get information about his affairs (when Doumeki met chestnut guy)

And nowadays, what Doumeki does?

Catches Yashiro while he was falling down asking him twice if he was all right, stayed behind bathroom door "just in case", and still, he opened the door for Yashiro because he notice there is something wrong in him (he thinks is his right arm).

So Doumeki DID anything to stay by his side "I want to stay by your side, I'll do anything for it" even if he has to wear his gloves (that means to not expose his heart from anyone, by Sensei interview), doesn't mean that his feelings are faded away, actually he twisted his life to stay with him.

So, the answer for "why the sink?" might be because the sink has been the place where Doumeki could express his true feelings without showing it to other people around.

It's where he could take a break for a moment from hiding what he endured for trying to suppress his feelings for Yashiro and well, calm down his thing xD

It's like us girls , after crying we hide ourselves in the bathroom from others eyes, we wash our face, get a deep breath and leave acting to the people around us that nothing happended and everything is fine...not? I do that XD

Doumeki did the same thing.. He had been through a lot (as had Yashiro) and for the first time he took a "decision": trying to push Yashiro to confess what he really feels for Doumeki even though it might seems quite sassy but, the sink was the reason why he motivated himself to take a deep breath, have a composing expression and faced Yashiro as he never did before and ready to accept whatever Yashiro s answers is.

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I admit that all of this might be a very huge fantasy from my mind but I like to think that maybe It can be the reason to let us focus on the sink...but... Who knows? 🤷

Well , I repeat this is MY opinion, I spent hours writing all of this and tomorrow I'll have to get up early to go to work so what else?

Have a good night! ❤️

Feel free to express your ideas

---Anna Rita

~~~~~I want to update one last thing and then I can finally put an end to my thoughts about this before I lose my mind 🤣

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In Ch 41. The first scene we see is the water coming out from the sink that Yashiro opened for putting the head of that guy and let him "confess"

Then we can see that in one scene (without the sink xD) there are Doumeki, Nanahara, Kamiya and the guy and the in next image there is Yashiro almost staring at the sink , contemplating (if he want to kiss Doumeki or not 🤔, it's a joke of course) , like he is in a different world from the others.

The sink will be the motive for Doumeki to "start a conversation" with Yashiro.

Yashiro states "don't just watch there Nanahara, help me out here"

So, reading what Yashiro just affirmed he Actually needs an help for doing the "dirty job" but the one who went to aid him was Doumeki but of course Yashiro replied "'preciate the effort but I got this" : Yashiro is acting again but he is able to do it only if he doesn't look at Doumeki straight on the eyes because he knows that Doumeki would never believe him also because, I repeat myself, he did asked for help!

I "translate" Yashiro s answer as "I do not need you, I can do it without you, I can live without you"

He refused Doumeki. He refused to look at him from the start. He refused to accept the idea that after 4 years trying to give Doumeki the chance to live an honest life, he is there, next to him ready to help his Kashira.

So I think I can end now this post saying that thanks to this sink, they had their second conversation after four years of silence (the first one is in Ch 40), thanks to the sink, Doumeki faced Yashiro once for all and well, I look forward to reading the next chapter to see his answer!

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As I said, these are just my thoughts right or wrong. I have been thinking until now about it and it really seems like a film made by my own imagination XD and I realize that 99% of what I said might be entirely wrong.

Thank you for reading this! I appreciate your opinion if you want to leave it in the comments or message me:)

----Anna Rita