#anyway. spent Thanksgiving alone. trying to think if this is the first time I've spent Thanksgiving alone? it might be

[liesonthefloordramatically]

Yes, I know that love is like ghosts Oh, and what ain't living can never really die

[purplekoop]

Koop Talks About... (#2) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) A Shell of a Classic!

So not something I saw during my trip, but something I did get during my trip. Out of my house's fairly extensive DVD collection, one shameful omission was the original 1990 Ninja Turtles movie. I'd seen it before several times, by Netflix or TV viewings or other temporary means, but it was something we conspicuously didn't have to keep. It was actually the only theatrically released Turtles movie (available on physical media as of now, sorry Mutant Mayhem) we didn't have: we had its two sequels, and the Bay movies, and the 2007 CGI movie "TMNT", but not the original, which is a shame since... I mean yeah I like this one a lot, that's what the post is for. So, very glad that during a flea market trip with my partner over the thanksgiving break, we found a DVD store selling it for cheap. I uh... spent all my cash I had on me during the trip, so thank you Duck, this post was made possible by and is therefore dedicated to you!

Just watched the DVD now while wrapping up christmas decoration in the living room with family, and while my teenage (ha) younger sister was eye-rolling at first, we were all sitting down through to the end well after finishing the tree. My mom was a turtles fan back in the original cartoon's heyday, so it's not hard to convince her to give anything with the heroes in a half shell a try. Meanwhile, I grew up with the 2012 show (I was like 10 when it started but those are details for later), saw the Bay movies when they were relevant, saw some episodes of the '03 show on Nicktoons, and somehow managed to see the 90s movie trilogy for the first time in reverse order. guess I was saving the best for last?

Anyways, preamble over, time to talk about the movie.

First off, I just wanna appreciate how much this is a 1990 movie. The fashion, the hair, the reference humor that's already dated to be nearly incomprehensible nonsense but in a way that's charming. And I gotta say, as much as I am a stickler for video quality sometimes, the amount of graininess in the opening shots (maybe not helped by me standing so close to the TV, the tree was right next to it and I was hanging ornaments when the movie started) had me giddy. Maybe in part based on a cynicism to modern, hyper-streamlined mainstream media, but it's just nice to watch something from a few decades back and just be relaxed by the different, calmer energy.

Speaking of old school though, I can NOT hold off talking any longer about the highlight of the movie: the practical effects. They bring the characters to life in a way that is genuinely unmatched, I don't think any computer-based effects have approached anywhere near the sense of sincere realness that the animatronic effects and suits in this movie bring. The small facial expressions, while not a perfect illusion, still have so much more life in them than I would think possible for fancy suits now, let alone over 30 years ago. Plus, the fact that they're physical, real entities adds so much more weight to some scenes. The scene in the farmhouse where Leo just pours a cup of water over Raph's shell has such feeling to it, the fact that the scene has so little visual trickery makes the scene hit so much better than it would otherwise. Seeing the pattern on the back of his shell, and the water going over it, just. it's so cool that it's all real, no cheats, and it makes the whole thing feel more real and alive.

The heroes of this movie are the engineers who designed the suits, who managed to make lifelike characters that could emote and invoke emotion just as well as they could move around for fight scenes, and the in-person actors who had the dreadful task of wearing those suits. These suits look great but they were anything but pleasant to be in, especially trudging through sewers and doing extensive fight scene stunts. From what I've heard of the on-set horror stories, the heat was the most unbearable part. As much as I sing the praises of the effects in this movie, I feel it'd be tasteless to not also acknowledge the suffering for the art here.

(on a lighter note, I should also mention that the same animatronic/suit hybrid tech that went into this movie is, I'm fairly certain, almost the exact same tech used to make the FNAF movie. I figured that's worth bringing up.)

I guess I should also mention how the characters actually look. The design of the turtles is a bit offputting at first, but very quickly becomes charming, very much helped by the aforementioned fantastic facial expression tech to ease them out of the uncanny valley. They really nail the balance between realism and fitting the original cartoony silhouettes. I don't wanna berate the Bay movies too much here because that's not exactly breaking new ground, but I feel like in something as important as the designs of the turtles, the older films waaaayyy surpass whatever the hell the 2010s movie designs were with their weird, inscrutable faces and wonky proportions. Those aren't inherently terrible realistic mutant turtle guy designs, I can see what they're going for at least, but they're not the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The goofy mascot suits of the 90s are a much cleaner bridge into a realistic depiction of the animated show's designs, with familiar proportions but more organic textures in a way that feels natural. Splinter, who isn't a suit character but I believe some sort of animatronic puppet using some similar tech to the Dark Crystal vulture dudes, is also similarly a great shift into realism using the original cartoon design as a basis, but his effectiveness is I think even greater because of how well this design gives his presence in the movie such an emotional anchor point. He's a bit ragged and dirty-looking, and his missing ear gives his design a bit of grit, but his face is hard for me to not read as cute. It makes the scenes later in the movie where he's battered and bruised but still has those sad little puppy eyes and gentle kindness to his mannerisms. I think also his slow, deliberate mannerisms turn the limitations of the tech behind his depiction into a strength. He genuinely looks like a gentle old creature who for all we know could just pass out (or away) after getting roughed up just a little too much, probably because the puppet wasn't much more stable than it looked. This is in contrast to the more frequent livelier depictions of Splinter who actually can move around at high speeds. Maybe I'm biased because I've got a small 14 year old dog who's prone to having matted fur and has a bit of a rat-shaped face. Honestly, as much as I like the sleek and imposing look Splinter has in the 2012 show, I think this movie's iteration may be my favorite design for balancing realism and "rat factor" with still being a cute and appealing design, though "appealing design" with the context of the visual style of the movie, my sister at least found him to look a little creepy at first. Which, hey, giant rat man who lives in the sewers, I guess that's not unwarranted.

So we've talked about how the characters look, but what about what they do? More specifically, performances and writing and junk.

I like the characterization of the turtles here, it's a bit subtle but they very much all still feel in-character. Raphael is sort of this movie's main turtle more than anyone else, having the most solo scenes and all at least early on. To be honest, especially given the limited backlog of source material at this point, this is a really solid and nuanced characterization of him. I think Raph's best iterations are described as "a tempermental ass because he cares", and not just "a tempermental ass". He gets mad because he takes things seriously and cares about people. In this movie specifically, he's the most proactive to go out of his way to help people. When helping April ends up getting Splinter kidnapped, he's devastated and it weighs on him until they get him back at the end. His VA delivers a ton of lines with incredible emotion, while also selling some great comedy that doesn't feel out of character either. The other turtles are a bit less interesting but their core traits are still there. Leonardo is the respectful leader and goodie-two-shoes who's still passionate but knows how to keep his cool, and his usual butting of heads with Raph is both believable and resolved nicely without dragging on too long. Michelangelo is... the funny one who makes slightly more reference jokes and is comic relief more often. And Donnie. Is also there. Look, he doesn't get to do much in this movie, they don't do whacky gadgets or anything, but I remember he gets to do more in the sequel at least. His main role is just being a comic relief partner with Mikey, which did get a laugh out of me pretty much every time. The A- team is a solid duo for a reason. I think it is also worth pointing out for newer fans that Donnie was a lot more low-key back then than he is in the 2012 show and later stuff. As fun as the more bombastic recent depictions have been, I still appreciate his role here even if he does feel a bit like "the fourth one who is also here."

Splinter is... a very nice and gentle Splinter. Not too much to say on him that I didn't mention or allude to when talking about how he looks. His soft-spoken and kind voice makes you really want to see him make it through okay, and he doesn't come off as an overly harsh teacher even in the most dire circumstances. Again, as much as I love 2012 Splinter, like I REALLY love a ton about 2012 Splinter, this movie's version is just so pleasant and likeable, he sells the emotional moments that ground the movie.

Oh and also human characters exist. To be transparent, I was in and out of the room and not fully sitting down for the early parts of the movie for this viewing, which is a bit of a slow start as we mostly follow April as the plot gets established. This is fine though, and actually doesn't drag on for too long before getting to "the good stuff". I don't have much to say about April, she's well acted and her role in the movie makes sense. Her hair is extremely 1990, that's something.

I also need to acknowledge that the human characters very much feel like side characters. This is the turtles' movie, and it feels like it is. They give them plenty of screen time to express their personalities and have a central role in the story, without using human characters as a lame shortcut to make "relatable" characters. They let the leads be the leads, which I think is a general sin of modern movie adaptations with their obligatory relatable boring human characters hogging screentime from the title characters people are actually here for. The relatable human sidekicks here are established from the source material, but don't feel tacky like the first Bay movie where the boring human lead is stuck pushing the plot forward for a significant time before the real fun characters are allowed to exist.

Casey Jones is a hard character to mess up I think, even his Bay movie adaptation is entertaining to me. I honestly didn't remember how soon he shows up, and despite my concerns he doesn't really clutter the movie as much as I would've thought. His inclusion feels pretty natural, and he plays off the story pretty well and has a distinct role in it. He's acted well (another great source of jokes distinct in delivery from the turtles) and definitely looks the part, though his relationship with April feels... well a bit tacky and a little forceful, chemistry is a little wonky and some scenes make me wince a little, but I've seen worse from mainstream movies, and arguably even with other officially-endorsed April ships (2012 my guy I love you to death but what was UP with Donnie about April, why was that necessary).

And then last classic character of note is Shredder, who... isn't too much of a personality, but his plan and role in the story is oddly cool? Instead of vague and overly ambitious global domination, this is the most low-key Shredder we've seen on screen. He wants to run a vaguely realistic criminal empire, and how he does it is by having teenagers join his ninja clan like it's a street gang out of an 80's anti-drug PSA. His lair isn't an imposing evil villain castle or sci-fi base, it's a warehouse or something filled with arcade cabinets and kids who aren't old enough to vote smoking cigarettes. I swear there's like actually a 9 year old in some shots. It's a believable ploy to get a loyal workforce, using cool toys and language like "we're a family and nobody in the outside world respects you" to get the loyalty of vulnerable kids, plus it also explains how the foot soldiers in this movie are kind of bumbling idiots when they're... y'know, primarily teenagers who are barely trained. It's such a simple but realistic kind of villainy, but it doesn't demean Shredder's fear factor just because he doesn't have as grand of ambitions. When he shows up, the fact that he's a serious threat is still conveyed. Admittedly his connection to the turtles feels a bit more shallow and flimsy than in other adaptations (again 2012 the GOAT ilysm), but he still puts up a way better fight than... the angsty teenagers he dressed up in bug-eyed ninja masks, I guess. Plus he looks cool, gotta admit the red sounds silly at first but he makes it work. If you want some more insight on why this version of Shredder is so cool, check out Gaijin Goomba's "Which Ninja" video on the character as a whole, going over his weaponry and characteristics and how true they are to real historical ninjas. I think it does mention a pretty notorious spoiler about the 2003 show version of him, but mentions fairly little from 2012 and the video was made before Rise and Mutant Mayhem, so safe if you haven't seen those.

This is easily my favorite live action Turtles movie, and as of now (noting that I haven't seen half of Rise or any of Mutant Mayhem) is my second favorite turtles thing in general, beaten only by the 2012 animated series, which is one of my favorite shows of all time. That show pays pretty good tribute to this movie, taking some of its minor plot points and extrapolating them into not just shallow references, but whole episodes and even story arcs based on what are only minor details in the movie. yeah I know, the movie is also based on the comics, but I'm bad at reading things and also an uncultured swine so sue me. I do gotta wonder how annoying I was legit pointing at the screen leaning forward at times pointing out similarities, down to the cars they drive in and out of the city. If you're like me and that was your first exposure to the turtles, this is a natural and very glowing recommendation.

Even if you're not a turtles fan though, this movie is still a classic just about anyone can enjoy. It's a movie with genuine heart on its sleeve, plenty of charm, and a solid benchmark adaptation of the characters, all made all the more believable by the top-notch practical effects that brought them to life on the big screen for the first time. Maybe a lot of the charm for me is the suits and that it's a few decades old now, free from the chains of more modern cynicism. Even with this movie's tacky quips and (formerly) topical reference humor, it didn't reek of modern pop culture lazy writing, but maybe it would've if I was around it back then. Or maybe they really don't make 'em like they used to, I dunno, I don't care, this movie's neat and it being old maybe makes it like it more and that's fine I think.

I plan on getting the box set for the 2012 show for christmas, so maybe consider this a preface to me finally gushing properly about that. I might also cover the other theatrical movies, I'm excited to rewatch Secret of the Ooze and none of the others (besides Mutant Mayhem I'm looking forward to that one). Honestly I think I give TMNT (2007) a bit of a hard time, and I remember thinking Out of the Shadows was decent at least. Also until I do some more research into finding epic and cool ways to watch them easily, don't expect me to look into watching the other shows in full yet, those are gonna take a bit longer.

As usual, zero clue what I'm talking about next, so stay tuned.

[redbone135]

DUDE YOUR SNOW STORIES IN YOUR INTHETAGS REBLOG!!! I've always wanted to be snowed in - I do realize it's probably not what it's cracked up to be but when I was little I used to hope for a blizzard on Christmas or Thanksgiving so the entire fam couldn't leave, lol! What's it like *actually* being snowed in? Do you lose power? (You'd think a woman from upstate New York would know this already, but, alas, lol)

So prepare for a long post, cause when reading this I realized I actually forgot the funniest time I've been snowed in! So here goes, the three times I was snowed in, in reverse chronological order.

1. The most recent was last Thanksgiving. I took Buddy home to visit my mom, and we were supposed to get a little snow - but on the day I was supposed to head home, we woke up to news that all the roads out of town were blocked off and wouldn't be reopening until it stopped snowing. Which was fine, my mom's house is equipped for that kind of stuff. They have a generator and use fire for heat in the winter anyway. It was actually really cozy, and the delay meant I got to spend my birthday with my mom, who made a cake and forced my stepdad to play board games with us. The downside was I was still teaching, and so I had to call my principal at the time and be like, "Listen - I know you don't like it when I take days off, but I literally can't physically be there... Now grab a pen cause my mom's house has bad WiFi so I'm about to dictate some lesson plans to you over the phone and I need you to write them down. Good luck!"

2. The worst time I was snowed in was my junior year of highschool. I was 17 and in full teenage degenerate mode at that point. So I heard there was a blizzard coming - so bad they shut the school down a day early - and decided to walk to my gf's house knowing full well I wouldn't be able to leave. So by the time my mom heard school had been canceled, it had already started snowing pretty bad, and she called me to get my butt back home (cause she knew me well and knew I'd be out). I told her I couldn't - I didn't have my car and the snow was already too bad to walk in. She tried to get my stepdad to come get me in his truck and he basically told her, "I'm not risking getting stuck out in a blizzard because your kid is a moron." So I got to stay with the girlfriend for three days before my mom was able to come drag my butt home. And that time the power and heat did go. It was freezing and dark. But the thing I remember most vividly is the first night, when the power was still on, my gf baked the BEST cherry pie I had ever, and probably will ever, eat in my life. We spent three days eating slices of that pie cold and playing cards with her little brother and daring each other to go out in the snow in our underware to see who could stand the cold the longest. It was a teenage dream, and I paid sorely for it when my mom got her hands on me again, but I regret none of it, lol.

3. But the funniest time I was ever snowed in was the first time. For some context, right after my dad left, my mom sent me to live with my grandmother and cousin for a while in Florida (which is a whole other collection of ridiculous stories I don't have space for here) while she got things settled. So she had just moved into the mountain house, I had just returned from Florida, and we were both just a little confused and unsure about everything. So it starts snowing and the school bus drops me off, and it's coming down bad and I'm not supposed to be home alone, so I call my mom. And she's upset and panicked cause she's trying to get home to me but doesn't know the roads well and can't get past a particular snowdrift and so she tells me I'm just going to have to hang in there. So an hour goes by and the power is flickering and it's really cold and I decide I can't 'hang in there'. So I get all bundled up - I think I've previously mentioned to you how much I HATE the cold - and hike it up the mountain to our nearest neighbors, this sweet old retired couple who see me freaking out in a blizzard alone and go into full grandparent mode. So the husband happens to have a snow plow that he digs out of the garage and we get out a map (this was before GPS was a big thing- I know I'm old) and I point out the route my mom takes to work so he can go find her. So he drops me back off at my house with a list of Blizzard chores from his wife to do. So I'm running around finding flashlights and putting new batteries in them, putting kitty litter that they gave me on the stairs and porch, and filling up the bathtub and washing machine with water. And of course, the most important chore, lighting the fireplace downstairs and the wood burning stove upstairs... But I'm a kid, I know very little about fire indoors, and so I... Do my best... So... A big chunk of time later my mom and the neighbor arrive (and she's mad cause she had to abandon her car because the snowdrift was actually a fallen tree that she had to climb over in heels) and the way she tells the story, she thought the whole house was on fire: smoke is pouring out of every window, the dog and I are running around frantically bringing buckets of snow in the house. Turns out - when you light a fire in a wood burning stove, you have to open the flue... I didn't know that so the house started to fill up with smoke. I didn't know why but was smart enough to know it had to be a problem with the fire, and not wanting to waste the water in the tub - I brought in snow. But the problem wasn't the fire, it was the smoke. And putting out a fire creates MORE smoke. So it just got worse. So I opened up the windows to let the smoke out, but the cross-breeze stoked the dying fire and brought it back... Fortunately the neighbor was able to help us fix it, and teach me a very important lesson about flue safety and carbon monoxide. He took one of my walkie talkies with him too in case we needed to call and after that everything went smoothly.

So yeah, those are my snow stories, lol.