#anyways happy fucking pride month im tired of having to defend why i should be allowed to be happy in any way shape or form

[littlebabycrybtch]

like,,,, sld;fsld yall it really is as simple as you unfortunately dont make the rules, the oppressors with power make the rules, ie straight people, and they dont Want aces and dont get nuanced lgbt+ discourse and think we’re just another fucking flavor of lgbt and will treat us as such whether you want them to or not. like. you cant. change that aspect of it with discourse. you can ignore it every time we try and bring it up but ya cant make it go away. literally every time our erasure turns to visibility, cishets hate our existence (yes,.,, even cishet aces,,, bc of the whole ‘ace’ part,,, which isnt cis or het) and it becomes unsafe for us. lmao im so tired of this shit like you dont,,, have a right to talk over us and tell us that isnt the case or smth bc number fucking 1. Yall never listen to us and push us away so how Tf do u think u would even know how ace ppl experience life anymore, if u wont even occasionally let the narrow forced relatable meme personality drop for a sec to show genuine human emotion and think critically about your morals and rampant vicious actions towards a group most of yall can Admit is marginalized lmAo, and 2. you literally would not do this to any other group you viewed as human beings who werent top tier privileged oppressors like. and we have tried to explain soo many fucking times now why we dont have any fucking power over anybody!!! bc ffs on What Earth should we be considered a major threat when we are consistently forced to experience corrective rape and heteronormative prejudice and medical discrimination (ATTEMPTED CONVERSION THERAPY AND DENIAL OF TREATMENT, NOT JUST ‘do you perhaps have trauma?’ SHIT). like. you are the only other group that experiences these things in this way and is capable of providing the support we need to combat these things!!!!! not the group we’ve “chosen”, the ONLY GROUP. THATS WHY WE ASK FOR YOUR HELP. not bc we wanna ruin ur fuckin day and infiltrate the gay resources and say we’re EXACTLY as oppressed as you are, bc yknow what. nobody in the lgbt community is exactly as oppressed as the next! its not that complicated! it never needed this much of debate bc the most basic way to understand this is that if straight ppl dont fucking want us and if you’ve ever met a straight person you know they view anything not 100% straight as automatically gay, and we’re gonna stay struggling with that without outside intervention, what else are we supposed to Do when we experience injustices like this. how are we expected to just be completely okay living like that. smh dont you dare fucking say ‘get over it’ like. lmaooo, thats not how activism works. pls tell me you understand why a struggling group would want you to help them. struggle less. like. less injustices would be rly cool tbh. id like to exist in a not marginalized way bc i shouldnt have to. dont rly think im a bad person for that just bc it means making u go through the arduous process of trying to care about it. like lmfaooo a bad thing happening shouldnt have to be Ignored until you let it get bad Enough for your standard of trying to stop it. harm prevention is a vital part of human decency and if u just wanna wait till shit rly hurts before being sad about it later, 📣 ur not a good activist 📣

so anyways if u see an ace person celebrating pride this year and wanna pop a vein Maybe run the simple concept through your 2 braincells that truth be told we are not allowed to exist in any positive way literally at all besides the CHANCE of being accepted during lgbt+ pride events. it rly is as simple as; This is all we fucking have, as we gain visibility we only receive more hate and violence, oppression is a complicated system and for oppression to take place at one point in time a group is simply vulnerable and targeted as the system is built against them, so if you dont take the ‘in between’ state of not privileged, not yet oppressed as a mandatory time for intervention to prevent worse harm, you are part of the problem of letting these injustices happen. its basic critical and sympathetic thought to understand that you dont need to be bottom of the barrel oppressed to not just face ‘valid problems’, but ones that Deserve to be corrected. facing prejudice and major constant injustices is... not smth to shrug off and ignore, they are actual problems for the ppl that exist under them and we literally cannot just move past them. and tbh ranking these kinds of things slightly lower and trying to prioritize causes is one thing, but ffs there is literally No moral system that should say ‘well some injustices are ok and ppl should just deal with them theirselves'. expecting ppl to support themselves and get over injustices or stop talking about them for any reason isnt progressive! at all! stop letting ace people be constantly fucking miserable and realize we just want ur fucking help and that our basic emotional responses to injustices isnt cringey(TM) its human, 2k19

[void-official]

“Micro-identities/’Mogai/ya’ll literally just be making shit up now” OK. i’m sorry im stuck on this and this is the last i’ll talk about it today bc fuck it. I’m gonna be Real for a second. And it’s going to be awkward, and it’s going to be long, and I’m gonna Lose Follower bc defending micro-labels is Cringe. Whatever. I get it. go ahead and unfollow. The rest of you who actually care. and in the spirit of Pride Month, as someone who feels like they’re almost never allowed to express Pride in who I am? Here we go.

I’m bi. Most of you can probably tell, im not exactly subtle about it.

I’m bi. But

my actual interest in dating or having sex with Anyone has been pretty much negligible for my entire life. I just don’t Care. I never have. Dating and sex seem like a hassle to me and I don’t feel like i’m particularly missing out by not taking part in them. It doesn’t negate my enjoyment of peoples bodies necessarily, nor does it mean I never get crushes on people it just means at the end of the day, my desire to go out there and find people to have sex with and/or date has always been like. really really low. Even if the opportunity was there. And i’ve come to terms with this. I accept this about myself.

There is actually a great deal of overlap between bi and ace identity. all those ‘weird little terms’ like ‘demisexual’ you guys hate so much were originally created for people like me, who feel like they are fundamentally not allowed to call themselves something straightforward like ‘bi’ (or straight/gay/lesbian) without people inevitably screaming at them for Doing It Wrong. So they can describe how they feel in a brief word, instead of having to go through the pains of explaining the complex relationship they have with sexual attraction to every fucking person who asks what their sexuality is.

saying ‘well you should just be able to say bi and leave it at that’ doesn’t actually account for the experiences i have when i Just Say i’m Bi. Even me Just Saying ‘im bi’ i’ve always gotta deal with harassment from people whoget weirdly agressive about -why- i’m not out there fucking or dating the people i claim im attracted to. Am I a prude? a Tease? Just an ‘Acey’ lying for brownie points? Am I Actually Just Traumatized? (They ask in a really aggressive condescending way, like thats actually how you should talk to someone you think is potentially traumatized) But by the standards of this discourse, i’m not allowed to call myself ace either, because then people are going to yell at me that if I experience the tiniest smidgen of sexual attraction or romantic inclination sometimes, or post pictures of sexy video game characters, clearly i cant be that either  I literally can’t win. there is not a thing I can call myself that won’t earn me the ire of LGBT people on tumblr who think they know me and what i should call myself better than I do. And believe me i hate talking about this More than you do. I’d rather just shut up and let people Assume i’m whatever they want me to be sometimes but then mutuals i thought i trusted will inevitably openly make fun of the people who outwardly call themselves demisexual or whatever microlabel is trendy to shit on currently, and usually i bite my tongue cause at the end of the day its Just Words, right? I don’t even use that word, right? Its just words and some words can be interchangeable and not everyone knows what they mean which can feel alienating and unnecessary to people who don’t understand them. I -get- why people ‘cringe’ when they see like 10 terms they don’t understand in someones bio. why do you think i don’t even list anything about my sexuality in mine other than my pronouns?

but I always remember like. just bc that label isnt For Me, it doesn’t mean there might be someone in a similar position to me who doesnt feel comfortable just calling themeslves bi, and prefers the label ‘demisexual biromantic’ who feels like that phrase puts them in a place of peace and contentment, and I wouldn’t argue with them about it. Bc thats their fucking choice. Them being happy with who they are takes priority over my personal opinions of the language they use. same with gender nonconforming people who dont want call themselves trans or nonbinary. Thats fucking Fine. I’m not telling you to have to use the same words as me if you don’t feel like they’re necessary or accurate. I literally don’t give a rats ass what words you use to identify yourself so long as they’re not being used to hurt other people. I just want to be able to have Words, for myself, that describe how I feel, that don’t result in people treating my entire identity like some shitty discourse Meme. And right now I have none. No matter what I call myself, people choose tell me it’s not accurate, or its too complicated.

As for all these shitty fucking posts about people ‘forcing’ young people to take up labels. This. This doesn’t actually happen? (OK I won’t say it doesn’t happen ever on an individual level? but that its not something enforced or encouraged by any group as a practice, and that distinction is necessary, bc saying it happens on a large scale literally implies predatory intentions from a massive group of people instead of members of the group behaving poorly as individuals)

Demisexual people as a whole have literally never told me i had to call myself demi just bc my sense of how i experience attraction might be similar to theirs. Ace people as a whole don’t usually tell people whose lack of sexual attraction is caused by trauma or who havent developed enough to experience sexual attraction that they -have- to call themselves ace. Most Bi or Pan people are fine with the fact that their labels have a lot of overlap and that the line between these things can be murky, they arent actually constantly ready to tear each others throats out over whose terminology is correct. All of this shit is made up by hateful people, or people taking a few examples of poor behavior out of context as an excuse to shit on everyone else, and well meaning people keep falling for it bc it -seems- helpful to be. reactive. I guess? to people you’re constantly told are hurtful to the causes of marginalized people. but im telling you. its not true. literally nobody forces you to call yourself any of these words, they just Exist out there in case you want them, and if you think thats somehow a threat to other peoples identities or to Minors just like, conceptually, for existing, for being Too Specific, im sorry but what other word is there for your reaction than phobic? If an individual derails a conversation about Y to be like “You didn’t include _X_” or tries to force their views on a minor who hasn’t developed a stable sense of identity yet, that is an Individual behaving in an inappropriate manner, not an invitation for you to throw the whole group under the bus. I hate to tell you but if you’re using examples of individuals on tumblr who say stupid shit, everyone on tumblr says stupid shit and butts in conversationally where they’re not welcome. Universally. It’s how tumblr is formatted. Trust me, I have like 4 viral posts going right now.

i’m just tired of it at this point. im not cool with people who stretch to make fun of micro-labels all the time and think they’re being woke allies or w/e to the ‘real LGBTs’.  Even if a lot of the time I personally don’t care for all the labels and wouldn’t choose them for myself, I still feel like If you can’t treat people like individuals and assess their character on a case by case basis, i don’t trust you. I don’t like people who stereotype and LGBT people are not immune to this behavior. Like i don’t say it often but it fucking hurts, and it hurts other people I’m close to who I know have similar complicated identities and struggle coming up w/words to describe themselves that the whole of tumblr LGBT+ will approve of and agree with (clearly an impossibility because there are still people who don’t want bi and trans to even be in there). I might tolerate the constant jokes and not block on principle of knowing not everyone has ingested and thought about this discourse in the same way I have, and im a big tough adult, ultimately i can take it. but inside i know no matter what i call myself, if i were earnest with some of you about how i feel I’d probably be just another ‘special snowflake Delusional mogai creep’ to you, and i can’t deny that fucking hurts to think about. I try not to talk about it openly bc it embarrasses me, bc i dont think my sexuality should have to be battle ground for discourse for people who are supposed to be on my side. But there it is. I think most of this discourse is Trash, and clearly not for the reason most people on here say its trash, not bc theres ‘too many specific words, y’all just be Making Shit Up’ but because so many of you are more caught up in the words than the substance of the arguments or the needs of people whose experiences might have a lot of overlap with yours regardless of what word they’re using to describe it.

Anyway. happy pride to LGBTQA+ people who still dont really feel pride in themselves or their identity. I’d say you’re valid, but you don’t need my validation or anyone elses to understand that you’re a person deserving of respect and compassion. You exist as who you are, and you have to come to terms with who that is, regardless of whether or not you feel like you’re accepted for it. if not pride then, settle for confidence in who you are.