#anyways i did NOT prebuild for her HELp

[crystallizsch]

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[koalemoslepus]

But yeah speaking of my Spaghetti-uh-Ohs of Ocs

The reason I was thinking about that is because my latest one actually just finally bammed into being (I think cause again, sometimes I'm sure THIS IS THE ONE and then I get hurricane brain and we start all over again-) but yeah

I'm gonna gonna get caught up in who she was cause I'm too fjjsjsfndd with the concept of who I'm thinking she could be now

But that's the whole story though you see I'm thinking

[Drawing mannequin] or

[The plain model before you add your own traits]

Like okay so

I like to do a lot of reincarnation stuff

My characters are ultimately builds ontop of prior existing Ocs even if they turn out vastly different and whether / whether or not the reincarnation aspect comes up in the story but

Imagine like

The mold the baseline the you're sitting there with your outline of a someone with no added traits yet

Mannequin stories not novel

The barbie movie was my roman empire up down left right center right like -

So you've got this being

Who somehow is and isn't human because she is just the mold, the next in the line for her creator to insert traits onto but somehow she ends up somewhat alive

A Pinocchio story also themes I love revisiting

Both alive and real and not

But she doesn't understand it

Ai stories and the differences between stimulated conconsciousness and real consciousness has been on my mind as everyone's for the last few years

I started writing it a a few years ago when my disability got really bad in the form of like a girl who becomes like very severely injured, her functions are returned to her via a shady deal and cybernetics but like her eyesight is really where I explore it (oracle characters are really a Thing with Me so -) she's still blind after the accident but what is happening is essentially is...without having to go find my notes for all The Science Gunk- a camera is in essence relaying pictures to her brain in sort of a splicing of a super advanced way of computers process data to turn into information, colors, light waves, depth, etc to form an artificial picture in her mind but it works in concept the same way vision does and when it produces the same effect / we can't tell really if it is or isn't then what is the difference

/ is there a difference in her computer simulated reality than one that she would have perceived with a biological eyesight and using that I explore a lot of that

But in the same vien right cause I don't plan for this character to be in a technological setting at all.

So like if she's essentially a doll but starts to develop traits at what point is it real, could one call it that especially as

ID like her power / plot to be that people think she is possessed by the Gods but it's really just that she essentially 'slots in the saved characters saved on the file of her soul' ya know ajs can rotate through them but not necessarily within her control cause /plot/ anyway but yeah

And then to find out in the end it's all just past / other universe versions of her

It also brings up a lot of my other favorite theming of what is / isn't a God / how does time and the multiverses work and like how she is able to call on these energies right cause

Like if you think about it in video game mode with hacks and mods right you can absolutely have a character running around that switches between all your prebuilds in one timeline

While not affecting the congruent timeline of those other characters

Those campaigns are likely still on going when you've like essentially duplicated the soul to call it forth into this avatar

Or did you call it out of their world temporarily and that's what happens when they dream cause I swear sometimes my dreams feel like I'm in another fully fleshed out world and I'm just in the back of someone's mind to help steer them or give them some advice or literally just be there while they panic even if I'm no help and then boom I wake up and I'm gone and like...I've also had stuff like that happen to me vividly where like even as a child the Voice of a Better Adjusted Adult than any I had in my life was like "Hey buddy- maybe a child crying themselves to sleep about hell every night is not good. I think you can let that one go." And like the never cry queen baby I fully just

Stone faced from a sobbing fit and was like

Yeah you're right this is a little ridiculous

So I dunno maybe it's like that

Just some Edna mode souls popping in smachk shmacking you like Get yourself together girl before blinking outta your life again

So you've got a character like that but she's a blank slate but as like she experiences literally snippets of herself and the world she starts to develop into her own

And then as she starts to develop on her own right it becomes harder and harrddeerr for those souls to come into her or at least be heard over her own internal monologue okaaaayy purr cause like yeah as you get older and get more filled with yourself and your own anxieties don't you like get overwhelmed and stop feeling The Connection with things you once had that once guided you like I use to feel super connected to Guardian angels and shitzz and that like I don't know what I actually believe TM about it but I've definitely had times in my life where it was easier to see the waayy and lots of people who perform witch craft say they feel/ talk to their dieties and maybe it's something like thaaattt

Likkeee I've personally had the feeling belief again that like Gods are like Stars they were just Stuff Once and then they conglomerate into something greater but they keep the memory and pieces of them being Stuff the greater and the lesser which is why they can act like both divine and petty like humans sometimeeesss aaaaahh kewl kewl kewl

Yeah so like that like she both becomes more powerful as she comes into herself and her own power but weaker in a way she loses past connection with parts of herself that have more experience or different viewpoints she might need (/ physical powers , embodiment again for a lovely female fantasy Power Plot yum yum my favorite, loud crashing punk girl music, Mitski and sound track in the background pls thanks)

Then likeee yeaaaahh yeah yeah stuff about mediation,contrast states of quiet and loud of mind the good and bad, grounding, refinding yourself, the parrallels between like existing as your own, and the community you need externally and internally. Mmmhmmm.

And I love this idea that like visually cause that's where I started like she's this very literally when I say blank canvas I was picturing like a pale character who was that way because essentially she was locked away and these symbolic gestures toward like paper, snow and all that cause there's more in her character about female suppression, her mind and yada yada but yeah. Yeah and then like as she explores the world she starts to literally like grow her own traits from how she interacts with the world, like i like to have my characters lose/ gain weight dynamically so I had stuff in her background back and forth depending on her interation based on again previous story stuff not featured here but where she starts well fed and plump but do the Bad Stuff in the story ends up lean because she is struggling for resources where she once had abundance and then slowly you see her gain back her weight and vibrancy but in new different ways, then I've had for newer iterations especially as WELL ESPECIAOLY AS THE TIMES THEY ARE CHANGING(rather swinging back around- cryvomitanger) she's this very suppressed character right especially in terms of her body, her sense of self etc, she starts extremely small, then once the Bad Stuff Happens and she ends up away from the place keeping her that way, she is able to explore her own body more freely depending on how she would react to more freedom surrounding it and food shed go through a lot of changes and have to learn what that is like aaaaahhhh is so fascinating to me for this character who again was not suppose to be able to 'set their own sliders' so to speak. She still won't be at first it will just be happening to her organically and then she's got to be like Oh well I think I'd like to- and then learn how it's not always easy or even possible except maybe through extremes to just /want/ yourself to be a certain way and get it and getting to explore that mindset from a being who was ready to recieve predestined traits but now is totally unshackled from that and it's all up to her but yet not- looping us all the way back to those themes of

Is it the same when it's artificial or not if the result is the same? Is what she ends up as God's (my will) or hers? Does it matter if you can't tell , if you can only see your one river of existence and not the others, what is free will and how do we break down these questions into stardust, something that is both extraordinary and the most common stuff in the universe I justttt-