#anyways law's tits..........insane | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beanghostprincess · 10 months

Note

well since you asked so nicely, what are all your straw hats sexuality (and gender identity?) headcanons :D

ps you dont have to explain them all if it's too much for you ^^

I love you so much for this mwah mwah /p I love when people send me asks like this <33

: ̗̀➛ [Luffy] Sexuality: Aspec. I'm very, very specific with this so I would have to write a whole paragraph to explain it well, but I'll try to do it in fewer words. I used to headcanon Luffy as asexual but the demi-sexual headcanon is growing on me. Only sexual with Zoro, though. Like- I ship Luffy with more people but imo he only feels sexually attracted to Zoro. Something something 'the bond between a captain and his first mate'. Romantic attraction: I can see him being demi-romantic (once again only romantic with Zoro. Or Sanji, even) but I personally see their relationship very Aroaspec QPR. Aromantic and Demi-sexual with a very deep bond with his first mate and his cook. Gender: Transmasc. Demi-boy. He/They. I think he, like, resonates more with being a boy but still doesn't fit the binary enough to be one. And transmasc because. Well. Have you seen him?

: ̗̀➛ [Zoro] Sexuality: Homosexual. Gay. The gayest man you've ever seen. I think he's demi-sexual too in the sense that only Luffy or Sanji would make him go insane and aroused, but he would sleep with other men just because. Like fr, just because he can. Idk. Homosexual behavior everywhere. He's so fucking gay. If there was a gay contest between OP characters he would probably win or end up in a tie with Nami, Law, and Kid. Romantic attraction: Demi-romantic. This dude is obsessed with his captain only. First mate things. I seriously believe that being a first mate makes you inherently unable to fall in love with somebody else. Well, perhaps Sanji too, but I'm not that much of a Zosan so I don't think about how they would work. And still, he'd be Demiro anyway. Gender: Transmasc guy because, once again, have you seen him? Dude even has a scar on his chest. Man tits. Love him. He/Him.

: ̗̀➛ [Nami] Sexuality: Graysexual Lesbian. Some might argue with me on this because she has a different girlfriend every arc, but I honestly think that she only feels genuine sexual attraction sometimes and it's not often. Playfully flirting doesn't equal genuine sexual attraction. Romantic attraction: Grayromantic Lesbian. Because, once again, people might not agree with me, but I think she doesn't have crushes often and she falls into more of a romantic gray area. Never with men, though. God forbid. Never with men. That much is clear, I hope. Gender: Demi-girl. She/They. My babygirl. My girlboss. Like I said with Luffy, I think she embraces being a girl but still doesn't fall into that term exactly and doesn't mind They/Them or more androgynous looks/terms at all. In fact, she loves them.

: ̗̀➛ [Usopp] Sexuality: Bisexual. I love him. He be pulling blonde bitches everywhere and by blonde bitches I mean Kaya and Sanji. Something that always makes me and my BFF laugh is the fact that he's canonically very normal about women's bodies, unlike Brook or Sanji or even Franky. Like, he's pretty decent and respectful and he's, well, a normal human being. I appreciate the bare minimum when half of the characters are perverts sometimes. Romantic attraction: Birromantic. Pretty much the same thing I just said. Simple guy. So true, king. Although I like the Demi-romantic headcanon and I think he doesn't really get love at first sight and would be bothered by Sanji's view on this. I think Usopp is somebody who needs intimacy to develop a romantic crush on someone. So, yeah, I also like the demi-romantic thing but this could be just me trying to make everyone Arospec for no reason other than projecting. Gender: Non-binary. He/They but prefers They/Them, he just doesn't expect people to use those pronouns, and it isn't that big of a deal. Also transmasc. I'm obsessed with that, honestly. However, I think he wouldn't use the term Non-binary? I think he'd just use Unlabeled, perhaps.

: ̗̀➛ [Sanji] Sexuality: Bisexual with a high preference for girls. For obvious reasons. Romantic attraction: Birromantic too. He's a hopeless romantic. Believes in love at first sight and everything. Gender: Transfem. Genderfluid. Any pronouns. I love you, Sanji. You're real to me. And I'm not explaining my reasons for these headcanons because watching the show is enough for you to understand this, but between his trauma and Momoiro Island... Like... I know what you are, girly pop. The closet is glass and the egg is hatching and you need to come out. Oda, please, let her ou-

: ̗̀➛ [Chopper] This one's just, like, Chopper. Chopper is Chopper. I don't think about this much. He canonically likes female reindeer. I have nothing else to say. Gender? Little guy. Sexuality? Honestly, if somebody gives him a reindeer boyfriend I support that. So bisexual and birromantic, I guess. I don't know how it works for him. I don't think he cares. It's not that he's too young because he's canonically a teenager already, I just don't think they've encountered enough reindeer for me to form an opinion on this. Why the hell am I writing so much to say something so fucking stupid. I'm sorry. Let's move on.

: ̗̀➛ [Vivi] Sexuality: Demi-sexual Lesbian. I don't think she's ever thought about sex as something she wants or feels attracted to. At least not until Nami shows up. Romantic attraction: Lesbiab. Lebanese. Dyke. Bollera in Spanish. Girl kisser. Woman liker. Homosexual. No men allowed between her legs and her heart. Friend of Ellen, as Annie Edison would say. Gender: I think she's a cis girl. She/Her. Would literally punch violently anyone who misgendered somebody from the crew. My princess. My girlfriend, actually. Her pronouns are loveof/mylife.

: ̗̀➛ [Robin] Sexuality: Bisexual but also probably Graysexual because I don't think she feels attraction often and doesn't really get aroused if it doesn't come with other emotions. Preference for big, and gentle men. By big, gentle men I mean Franky and Jinbe. And by gentle I mean Brook. The four of them together, btw. Romantic attraction: Birromantic. I think she's just, like, vibing. Learning to love. She has so much trauma she deserves to be in a tender relationship and she just happens to be with four men but she knows how to appreciate a woman. Gender: Transfem. She/Her. You know those older trans women who give the most comforting, calm, mature energy in the world? That's Nico Robin. Gonna keep it SFW but she tops Franky 100%. And also helped Sanji with her transition. I love this. Please adopt me, Robin. She's perfect.

: ̗̀➛ [Franky] Sexuality: Bisexual. If a man doesn't know how to appreciate another man's beauty, then he isn't manly enough. Women are perfect. Men are perfect. He's wonderful. I love him. Romantic attraction: Birromantic. I swear to fucking god he has something going on with Jinbe and Brook and Robin. I am so not normal about them- Gender: Cis man but he'd probably consider being a cyborg a third, secret gender, so I'm gonna let him have that too. He/Him.

: ̗̀➛ [Brook] Sexuality: Bisexual classy grandpa. The fact that he's a gentle grandpa has a lot to do with his sexuality (no it doesn't). He might be a pervert around women but at least he supports consent, so, he's better than Sanji here. Romantic attraction: Grayromantic because I feel he doesn't get real crushes easily. Especially since his boyfriend (his former captain) died. The trauma he probably has around romance now, damn. Gender: Hear me out he's the most Unlabeled thing ever. He/They. He's just bones and most people don't even know how to tell the difference between sexes when it comes to bones. Robin is actually the only one who knows his AGAB and she doesn't care anyway, so. Gender norms are bullshit and he's just the Soul King.

: ̗̀➛ [Jinbe] Sexuality: Graysexual and Bi. He's somewhere there in the Ace spectrum. I just don't know where. I think he's, like, not that interested in bodies and sex? He would only have sex with somebody he loves and it wouldn't even be for the arousal and the attraction. Romantic attraction: Demi-romantic, which is not the same as gray. Because I think he'd need, like, to spend time with Robin/Franky/Brook to form a deep bond and then he'd slowly and gently start falling for them individually. I swear I am so normal. Please, they should adopt me. I want the four of them to be my parents. Gender: Cis man. He/Him. Biggest trans supporter in the whole fucking world.

The Going Merry is actually called the Going Liberal and the Thousand Sunny is technically the Theysand Sunny and with the help of their ships the straw hats are trying to find the Woke Piece.

#one piece always saying trans rights #okay you might notice that i'm projecting on most of them but i like aroaspec characters #one piece #strawhat pirates #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #nami #usopp #black leg sanji #tony tony chopper #nefertari vivi #nico robin #franky #brook #jinbe #not gonna tag the ships but yeah it's zolusan/sanuso/namivivi/and whatever the adults of this ship have going on

68 notes · View notes

darklydeliciousdesires · 4 months

Text

Sky Full of Stars - Chapter Thirteen.

As usual, big thanks to my little audience for your lovely feedback :) We have another little time jump here, bringing us to the next notable event in the timeline of our characters. Enjoy <3 Also, if you're a silent reader who just clicks that heart and carries on, could I at all persuade you to leave a comment? It'd mean the world to hear from you!

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve

Tag list - In the comments

Words - 3,481

Warnings - 18+ content throughout. Minors DNI!

December 24th, 2011, Cleveland, NY

“Are you being careful? Because I’m not sure you’re being careful in your haste to get home,” Adrien spoke, phone glued to his ear as he and his father-in-law watched the snow plummeting down from the sky, the entirety of Oswego County under a few feet already.

“Bug, I have the greatest co-driver in the world, I’m wearing my glasses and we’re taking it slow. The freeway is clear and there’s barely any traffic. We’re fine.”

“Homeslice, this truck is insane! I love it! Handles perfectly, y’know?” Jen called, enjoying herself greatly driving Adrien’s Ford Ranger.

Jen was driving? Oh, god.

“Jennifer, if there’s even one mark on my damned truck, you’re getting whooped.” He’d only bought it brand new a week ago, and now it was in the hands of somebody who made F1 drivers look tame.

Steven couldn’t help but snort at that, shaking his head as he sipped his coffee. “RIP your paintwork, son.”

“Oooh, baby! Bring it!” Of course, she’d say something like that. “Just make sure the fire is blazing, buddy. We’re below zero and this heater ain’t cutting it. I swear, my tits are about to drop off!”

Adrien couldn’t help my laugh. “You do know I have you on speaker, right? And Steven is standing right here.”

There was a short pause. “Hey, papa Steve! What’s your medical stance on combating chilly tits?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “Warm hands.”

“Steven!” Gemma yelled from across the kitchen, “you can’t say that! The girl is like an adopted daughter to us!”

“I wasn’t offering, love,” he called, still laughing. “She knows that!”

“Indeed, I do! Anyway, Jade is running low on battery and my phone is in my bag in the back, so we gotta go. I’m saying ETA of about a half hour. Buh-bye!”

“Bye!” the men both sounded, Adrien hanging up and returning his phone to the island, sitting down. The reason Jade was out at all in the snow was because all the trains heading north of Manhattan had been cancelled and flights were grounded, leaving Jen stranded without a ride since she her own car had refused to start that morning, Steven and Gemma already on their way and with his own parents also en route from visiting friends in east Hampton, it left no other options than for Jade to drive down and fetch her.

With her recently split from her boyfriend of ten months, and her mother and sister heading to Florida for Christmas in the sun with her brother Wayne, who she did not get on well with at all, it had left Jen destitute for the festive period. Until Jade had emphatically stated there was no way that would happen, Adrien telling her too that if she didn’t come to them, he’d hunt her down.

He was very relieved when he saw the truck park up to the side of the house just under forty-five minutes later, the women diving out and running for the door he rushed to open up for them, both covered in a liberal dusting of snow. After a round trip of just over twelve hours, Jade was very, very glad to be back home, kicking off her boots and big coat, falling into the warm hug her husband provided.

“Mommy Gem!” Jen yelled, approaching the lady herself with wide arms, being pulled into a hug and kissed upon her cheek multiple times.

“Hey, hon. Oh, it’s so nice to see you, my darling!” While they chatted, Jade stood and caught up with the day she’d missed.

“Have the puppies been out yet?” Yes, her filling the house with animals had begun. Two Cane Corso's, one American Bulldog, and an insane Red Setter who was currently lying across Steven’s lap beside the fire. Having the chimneys completely rebuilt throughout the house had been expensive and time consuming, but definitely worth it. That and the underfloor heating provided an amazing source of warmth during winter.

“Groucho initially refused,” he began, speaking of said Red Setter, “Bear and Atlas eventually got their paws in it,” he continued, referring to the Cane Corso’s, “and Brando wouldn’t come back in for a half hour, would you?”

The big, white bulldog sitting beside him looked up with a head tilt, woofing softly. “Yeah, you know I’m talking about having to chase your dumb ass back in earlier, don’t you?” Another woof sounded.

“And the cats?”

He looked to where Salem and Juno, their two rescue Maine Coon cats basked upon the rug, shaking his head. “Long enough to pee before they shot back in.”

She hummed a chuckle, kissing the centre of his chest. “They are nothing but predictable with their posh paws routine.”

“Alright, so now you’re home, can we get the guided tour of this newly finished house?” Gemma asked. She’d been itching for a proper look around since they’d arrived four hours ago, Adrien reluctant to show them without Jade, knowing she’d want to be there, too. It also saved doing the same thing all over again for Jen when she arrived as well.

It gave him a sense of great pride, to show them around the house that had taken four long years to complete, talking about the various points they picked up on as they went. There was one focal point that drew the kind of attention he could have kicked himself over, though, neither he nor Jade realising they hadn’t taken it down from the beam above their bed about two minutes too late.

“Ahh, guys, I have to take this. It’s the hospital, I’ll be in the lounge.” Steven spoke, his departing of the house tour a saving grace, as Adrien was about to discover.

“Oh, it’s beautiful in here, look at this floor!” Gemma enthused as she walked into the bedroom, Jen rushing past to backflip straight onto the bed, assuming the starfish position.

“I love the hell outta this bed!” she exclaimed, Jade folding her arms while raising an eyebrow.

“If only you knew that I was doing at 1am this morning, right where your head is,” she quipped, grinning with mirth.

Jen looked between her and the comforter a few times. “I don’t know whether to be aroused or perturbed. I’ll sit somewhere between the two.”

“Dirty children,” Gemma sighed, her eye then caught. “Why’s there a big assed chain with a hook hanging from the beam?”

Oh, shit.

“Erm, modern art,” Jade smiled. Gemma could have been convinced by that, had it not been for her son-in-law closing his eyes tightly, looking immediately uncomfortable.

“Lies! What’s it really for?” She turned then, fixing him with a look. “Adrien?”

“And I’m outta here.”

“Adrien!” she called as he made his escape towards the stairs. “You haven’t answered me.”

Jade was laughing behind her hands, Jen scrambling off the bed and straightening the comforter before jogging from the room. “This I gotta watch! Oh, he’s gonna go catatonic!”

“Adrien,” Gemma continued to call, two snickering women hot on her heels, “what’s the hook for?”

“N’aww, fuck!” he groaned, entering the kitchen and promptly opening the door to the huge, walk in pantry, hilariously shutting himself within, Jen catching up and rapping her hands against the door rapidly.

“Dude! It ain’t like you to get embarrassed,” she teased with hefty sarcasm, snorting laughing. “Come on! Enlighten us!”

“Get in here. I need company, and to make sure you keep your yap shut,” he spoke, opening the door, his arm emerging to haul Jen in by her hoodie, slamming it shut again.

“Baby,” Jade called, slapping her mum on the arm for the look of utter mischief. “Are you alright in there?”

“Do we still have the cat sedatives?” he asked.

“I think so.” While Salem was good as gold for vet trips, Juno was hell on four paws unless Adrien took her. For daddy, she behaved. For anybody else? The murder mittens were shown.

“Good, because I need to swallow the whole damned bottle.”

“Hey, if I can’t use recreationally any longer, neither can you!” Jen told him, the sound of rustling becoming audible. “Oh cool, you guys have got that Whole Foods granola in here!” A small scuffling sound followed. “Don’t be stingy with the eats, man!”

The door opened, the tall blonde finding herself ejected, granola box yanked from her grasp. “Oh man, you should see his cheeks!” she hissed through her mouthful of pilfered cereal. “He’s like beets!”

“Jen!” he warned, slamming the door shut after her exit, sending her doubled over with laughter, Gemma approaching to tap her nails against the pantry door.

“Adrien?” she called sweetly, trying to hold her laughter in. “What’s the hook for?”

“Yeah, homeslice, tell us!” Jen teased, wiping her eyes. “You can’t be a freak in the sheets and then get all shy about it!”

“I can when my mother-in-law is right there, Jennifer!”

“Mummy,” Jade warned, finally emerging from behind her hands, “stop mortifying him!”

She thought on it for a second. “I will not.” Once again, her nails tapped the door. “What’s the hook for, Adrien?” Oh, she was having way too much fun to stop, the door eventually flying open, Adrien moving at speed across the kitchen, determined to at least try not to be furtherly ensnared by his embarrassment. He didn’t move fast enough for Gemma, though, who grabbed his belt and, surprisingly for her size, hauled him to a complete stop.

“What’s the hook for?”

He finally began to laugh, pointing at Jen, who was in complete hysterics. “Don’t you dare.”

“I ain’t saying shit,” she began, snorting and descending again, hugging his arm.

He cringed, shaking his head rapidly. “If ever the ground was gonna open up and swallow me, can it please be now?” Opening one eye a fraction, he viewed an expectant Gemma, laughing through his nose as the discomfort ate him alive. “I’m pleading the fifth.”

Truly, he had no idea of the tenacity of Mrs. Burton, Gemma folding her arms, making him meet her eye. “What’s the hook for?”

“Mum, you really don’t want to know,” Jade called, picking up a passing Salem and cuddling him close, the cat purring and nudging her face with his.

“I do want to know!” she exclaimed, “if nothing else but to watch your husband squirm some more.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he screwed his eyes tightly shut, looking more pained than Jade had ever seen him look. “I’ll let your daughter tell you. I’m going where women are not. Gimme the keys, I’ll go get all your stuff out of the truck.” He kissed his wife’s head on the way past as she handed him the keys, scratching an appreciative Salem, Gemma turning to meet Jade with a wide-eyed stare.

She waited all of two seconds after Adrien had exited the back door. “Well?”

“He ties me up and hangs me from it,” she finally stated simply.��

The gasp that fell from Gemma was immense. “He what?” she began, turning to Jen while pointing at her daughter. “I was thinking leverage or something, you know, like holding onto it while you’re bouncing on top?” The fact she coupled her words with the motions to demonstrate sent Jen into a guffawing mess, falling to her knees as she slapped the stone tiles beneath her.

“I have used it for that, too, when I have my arms all bound up.”

“Jade Lucia!” Gemma exclaimed.

“I can’t breathe!” came the voice from the floor.

“Well, you did ask, mum,” Jade shrugged, picking up a grape and popping it into her mouth with a shrug. “No, you can’t have that.” she then told the huge puddle of fur in her arms, Salem softly pawing at her finger with a little meow.

Gemma stood looking mildly stunned. “But he’s so nice and polite, and now I find out he’s one of these guys who liked their women hog tied!”

“Not all the time,” Jade was quick to state, plucking a few more grapes from the bunch.

“It’s always the nice, polite ones that are the secret deviants,” Jen added to the conversation, moving to seat herself at the island. “Trust me, the things I know about Charlotte. Entirely too much, courtesy of Katie.”

When Adrien came back in, he was immediately given a look from his mother-in-law, Gemma resting her hands to her hips. “I want words with you, young man.”

Just then, he heard the sound of a horn beeping, looking out of the window to see his parent’s car pulling up. “Oh, thank fuck,” he sighed, “saved by the beeps.” He then paused, of course realising his mom and dad would also want the guided tour, eyes widening. “Baby, get the fuck upstairs and get it down!”

“I can’t, I’m not tall enough,” she spoke in her best cute, funny voice, snorting with laughter all over again.

Jen jerked her head in the direction of the door. “I gotcha, Skippy. I’ll get on your shoulders. C’mon.”

While they scurried from the kitchen, Gemma fixed him with a wry smile, walking over and hugging him. “Still love you, even if you are a deviant.”

He laughed, kissing the top of her head. “Still love you too, Gemma. Even though you enjoy mortifying me way too much.”

She hummed a wicked chuckle, patting his stomach with her hand. “You shouldn’t make it so easy, hon.”

With all embarrassing inquiries out of the way, another tour of the house was taken after Lois and Patrick had warmed up with coffee, everyone gathering back in the kitchen, where Gemma had truly commandeered the space, cooking all afternoon. The big celebration in Italian households was Christmas Eve, and truly, she’d gone all out. The feast of the seven fishes had been a staple in her household since she was a child, and she’d kept up with that tradition ever since.

Baked salmon, spaghetti with clams, fried calamari, cod with orzo, gigantic, spicy shrimp, garlic mussels and fried whitebait graced the table, everyone having much fun at Jade’s expense with the latter.

“Patrick, no. I can’t,” she cried, her father-in-law holding one of the tiny fried fish, making a swimming motion towards her with it. “It has a face still!” If there was one thing she couldn’t deal with, it was fish served with their heads still intact.

“But as a meat eater, everything you consume has a face. I fail to see the validity in your gripe when we take this into account,” he shrugged, Jade leaning as far away as she could in her seat at the island, making a perturbed squeak.

“I don’t like my food to look at me,” she reasoned, pointing at Adrien. “Your bloody son traumatised me every damned day of our honeymoon! Ordered everything with a face when we went out to eat!” Indeed, he had, Adrien looking delighted at the memory of his wife having a small meltdown at dinner each night. They had spent a week in Turks and Caicos at the end of the summer of twenty ten, loving the islands so much that come the following spring, they were heading back on a group holiday with Katie and Charlotte, as well as his good friend Lewis and his girlfriend Mona.

Adrien only had three projects to film in twenty twelve, Jade two, both wanting slow down their working life a little and enjoy some time together instead of snatched days and weeks here and there, as they had for the almost two years they’d been married. Two weeks in the sun suited them both down to the ground, especially given the current climate of Oswego County.

After having a great Christmas with their families, before she knew it, Jade was boarding a tour bus again after touching down in Manchester, but at least it came with some very nice advantages. Advantage one being that she had Adrien with her, and advantage two, the bus itself. With the girls now elevated to a much higher status in their careers, the record company were prepared to shell out a lot more in the way of comfort, two busses now dedicated to ferrying them around in luxury. Yes, they had beds.

The set up of the busses was much different, the front lounge remaining, kitchenette and bathroom next, but no bunks or rear lounge, those spaces taken up by two bedrooms that a double bed could just about fit into, the gangway offset to the side of the bus. No more bunk life. They were thrilled. Charlotte, Katie and Jess had one, and Jen and Jade the other, Adrien too by extension. He could have stayed at home, but with a housekeeper in employment so their home and animals were well looked after whenever they were away, he saw no reason not to spend some time with his wife. After all, they’d been married for almost two years and lamentably spent most of it apart.

They’d definitely proved every single one of their doubters wrong, that their marriage wouldn’t last beyond a few months.

Still though, while they were no longer hounded by photographers quite as much as before, the media still gave voice to ridiculous gossip, claims that they were on the rocks and heading for separation, as well as the one that had made Jade burst out laughing with the sheer ridiculousness of it. Adrien, apparently, had been having an affair with a young woman named Serena Reid for the last five months, her claims only amounting to a personal account that could easily be picked apart.

It honestly entertained her, how these tabloids didn’t bother with fact checking anything for credence prior to going into print. One of the alleged dates the girl claimed she’d met up with Adrien in the city had been so easily refutable, since at the time he was standing to the side of the stage at Simmons Bank Area in Arkansas, watching Seventh Gate play live. Another she claimed to have been in taken to their apartment in the West Village by him while his wife remained upstate, when in reality, he’d been filming halfway across the world.

That aside, she knew her husband inside out; infidelity was not in his nature. Being a little self-righteous, argumentative when he was in a bad mood, aloof when he was proven wrong, yes, those were some of his negative traits that annoyed her, but cheating? Nope. She knew she’d never have that to worry about. Apart from him being the epitome of faithful, he’d never wish to inflict the kind of pain he’d gone through with Sofia upon another. He was too much of a good guy for that.

He would be lying if he’d said he hadn’t worried about the effect it’d have on his wife, knowing well how she tended to pay a little too much attention to online commentary into their life, but the way she’d handled it with grace, not internalising it either, had truly made him proud. Her coping skills in that respect had been learned in attending therapy for the last year and a half, and also feeling safe and secure enough in her relationship with him to talk things through, just as he’d always wanted her to.

While the claims of Serena Reid were entertaining in their preposterousness and nothing more, Jade couldn’t help but feel sorry for her on some small level. The emergence of an Instagram page, with fake text messages created allegedly from Adrien, as well as badly manipulated Photoshop creations had sealed for her that the young woman was likely not well. Where were her family in all of this to talk her out of making a complete fool of herself, she wondered? The media also had a responsibility as well. After all, they had been the ones to give Serena a platform when it was obvious how delusional she was.

Delusional was exactly how Jade looked at it all, and was prepared to keep on viewing it as. That was, until she and the rest of the girls were headed to a small side room at the Manchester MEN arena for a meet and greet with fans who had paid for VIP packages. Upon approach, their former head roadie, now tour manager Sunni walked from the room, holding his hands out.

“Yeah, we’ve got a situation, guys,” he spoke, glad that he’d been the one to spot it prior to the band entering the space. “Jade, that girl Serena Reid? You ain’t going to believe this, boss, but she’s back there in the room with the rest of the fans.”

Hearing that, things shifted up a gear instantly, and her stance of thinking Serena to be nothing more than a purely harmless, annoyingly delusional person was swiftly tossed aside.

#adrien brody fanfiction #adrien brody #adrien brody smut #adrien brody fanfic #adrien brody fic #adrien brody x ofc #sky full of stars #adrien and jade

22 notes · View notes

raraeavesmoriendi · 5 months

Text

there is. Something. about the fact that trans people who are most often treated by the cisgender patriarchal state as Failed Cis Women are getting some serious ‘friendly’ fire in the conversations about peoples’ anxieties re: the state of modern feminism and how those issues have been treated as somehow sidelined

sure, they’re still capable of misogyny. but so is Everyone. it came Free with being raised in a Patriarchal Society. there is no gender, cis or trans, that is somehow immune to being misogynistic.

like, the fact that some trans voices are finally being spotlighted in the feminist movement is much needed and long overdue.

but spinning around to point at people who aren’t women, women-adjacent, or even aligned with any gender, and accuse them of being The Misogynist All Along like some sort of scooby doo villain feels like it’s still vastly missing the point.

like. the people who have the most access to patriarchal privilege are the same white supremacist perisex guys who are passing the laws to try to erase all of us from existence, and the same white supremacist perisex rich guys who have been funneling them money. it’s the cis perisex abled (usually) straight white guys who still get preferential treatment at our workplacss and are still making more money than all of us. it’s the guys who have a whole church congregation behind them. it’s the perisex cis (usually) straight men who are moving to fight feminism bc they think they’re losing something they’re entitled to, the ones who think that male privilege is their birthright. it’s the fucking judicial system. it’s the electoral college we’re staring down the barrel of in november, and the powers that be that want to keep it there.

it is not the guy who also gets misgendered when we both have to show up for our fucking planned parenthood appointments, or the rest of us who always get talked over when we say “please for the love of fuck can we call it reproductive rights instead of tying it to bioessentialist bullshit, there’s more people than just cis women that have issues getting proper care, trans women included” and then got told by well-meaning gen x feminists that “we have to call it women’s rights for now if we want to save roe, we can educate people later”

…and here we fucking are anyway, by the way, which is absolutely part of the reason that the general public needs their concept of feminism refreshed.

but. call me insane (and I am Mad so sure). I don’t think it should be somehow an offense to consider there are multiple types of transphobia to think about as we update this conversation, and the fact that a binarist perisex system will swing itself in different ways to best hit different targets. these discussions are all owed their due. I think there are more complex things at work here than, as typical, gets kicked around in snappy internet posts.

there’s this weird conception right now that people who figured out they aren’t actually women anymore (or never were, define thyself as thou wilt) are somehow amnesiac to misogyny, that suddenly there’s some huge gap there, when like. I don’t know any of us who ever actually escape it.

I still see post-op trans men - with full beards! - who get called poor mutilated, deluded women, and the violence towards them is gendered as such.

I have many, many non-binary or bigender or genderfluid colleagues and friends who, because they cannot afford to medically transition yet (or don’t want to, as is their right) have their social transition outright ignored. and then have the trauma that comes from having your actual self denied in every facet of your life treated as like, ‘woman lite’ or, more heartbreakingly, ‘easy mode.’

like it’s easy, being told from all sides “no you aren’t” when I have my proper pronouns posted every fucking where I can think of, personally and professionally, and there’s a 25% chance they ever get properly used and I ever get acknowledged as myself, because I still have my tits. that if I try to stand up for myself as often as I honestly should and deserve, I will be treated as a difficult and delusional woman. when people (usually cis men) threaten me with violence, it’s misogynistic violence. I am repeatedly misgendered as a woman when I try to see a doctor about anything to do with my uterine system that I did not choose and am actively trying to get rid of, because as long as I have it, people will overlook the part of me that is true for the part of me convenient to their system.

I am a scholar in my genre who specializes in researching the lenses of feminist and queer theory both. they have saved my life on multiple occasions when I did not have hope for my present. I have been aware of my place in the feminist struggle before I knew I was anything other than a woman. part of my gender struggle was a feeling of loss at realizing that maybe, actually, I wasn’t one, no matter how happy I am now in living authentically.

some of the most misogynistic people I have ever had the misfortune to meet are, in fact, cis women. me and the rest of the “theyfabs” are not the ones who are out here talking about “girl dinner” “girl math” “girl roman empire” “why did feminists fight for women to work I don’t want a job.” me and leaf and newt are not the people causing trad wives and stay at home girlfriends to do numbers on video apps. that is cis women. the majority of white cis women, demographically, tend to vote and pass legislature in anti-feminist ways, which is no surprise given the white supremacy involved there. but like. the call is still coming from inside the house, yet I don’t see them being reviled as perpetrators in these posts about feminism needing a revamp in the public eye. only deluded victims of the patriarchy who don’t know what’s good for them. which is also… not great, for misogynistic reasons.

like. I don’t know, this is long and not very articulate, but every so often I see a post circulate that I in theory should be very encouraged and relieved to see, as it affirms something I’ve always known —

only to wonder if I am suddenly going to be specifically charged with one of the main oppressions I have been struggling against my entire life and likely will be until I die, no matter how I try to assert my own autonomy over my life

or if I’m going to be talked over and have my autonomy rejected and ignored again, because I happen to have “what makes us girls.”

“well sock—” like. I apologize, but I don’t understand how I’m supposed to be in on the joke.

#anyway.#long post #rae grumbles #non-binary stuff #genderqueer stuff #first person to come at me with terf rhetoric or call me a dumb theyfab gets me crawling through their walls at 3 am

7 notes · View notes

quarktrinity · 10 months

Text

quark watches star trek season 1 episode 29

oh cool this is the last episode of season 1

uhura girlsplains private transmitters to kirk

weirdly colorful star map

why do they call other ships "he" i thought ships were girls

hey wasnt warp factor 8 super dangerous are we just cool with that now

kirk determined to save other ship flying into the sun i love this dude

some cryptic shit

k that dudes dead. bye

omg jims brother is on this planet :0

i just called kirk jim. i didnt even think about it. oh god.

uhura girlsplains private transmitters to kirk... 2!

kirk wants to see his family :(

this planet looks like the mopop in seattle. if u get it u get it

kirk looks nauseous with emotional vulnerability

insane violent dudes

omg they actually stunned them for once

something fucked ups going on here

kirk please you cant keep plunging crying womens faces into your tits eventually one of thems not gonna be cool with it

kirks brother is dead???

hahahahah he looks exactly like him

yeah hes dead

his nephews ok though

spock uses comfort! its not very effective. can they make out now

alright kirk you can do this. dont seduce your sister in law. i believe in you

her names aurelan im not sure thats a real name

aurelan dont make those noises

what are you talking about

this actress is determined to sound overwhelmingly horny when shes supposed to sound upset

some weird brain shit going on

"they"

evil brain creatures doing evil brain things to build ships?

horniest scream ive ever heard

uh rip aurelan i guess. congrats kirk you got through an episode with a hot girl without making out with her

kirk status: Repressing Sadness

are the aliens bees. they sound like bees

oh GOD

theyre like flying manta rays oh jesus. ok thats fucked

they look silly as shit but also the direction lets them be terrifying

SPOCK GOT MANTA'D

oh shit i think its in his brain

this is gonna be gay isnt it

anyone who thinks mccoy isnt kinda gay for spock is stupidly wrong

eugh its all up in his bod

alright theyre a little like bees

fight it spock fight it

"locate and restrain mr spock" very normal of u to say kirk

kirk pins spock to the floor. ok

i got bingo

spock u good

"i will be able to return to duty" i dont believe you

spock says i can just turn off my pain

"i need you, spock" DO YOU NOW, KIRK?

spock youre so possessed rn

yes scotty threaten his life

spock has Determination

"i am in complete control of myself, doctor" NO YOURE NOOOOT

kirk no dont believe him i know youre in love but you gotta use your brain i know you have one

sigh. ok spock try ur best to resist the evil brain things i guess

they look like those things from half life

theres so many oh god

cmon spock u got this

grabs u with my pinchers

mission successful thank god. manta ray thing kidnapped.

spock says fuck my own needs i am Useful

its a giant brain cell? thats super cool ngl

a lot of these aliens have really cool concepts and still look silly as shit

more mcspock sexual tension

kirk says computers good this time

"your affection for spock" DUDE

to spread brainpox or commit genocide. that is the question. kirk says no

star trek doesnt know that light is radiation

kill the brain mantas with light. ok

sorry we might have to blind you to free you from brain disease

spocks blind now

"these creatures are sensitive to light which we cannot see" you have described radiation. you said you tried radiation and it didnt work. dont do this to me

sorry spock we didnt need to blind you. its ok though he forgives us anyway

ULTRAVIOLET? THEYRE WEAK TO ULTRAVIOLET???? DO THEY KNOW THAT ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT EASILY BLINDS YOU????? DO THEY KNOW HUMANS ARE ALSO WEAK TO ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT??????? DO THEY KNOW THAT THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT RADIATION IS OH MY GOD IM LOSING MY MIND

exposing the entire planet to a giant blast of ultraviolet light is extremely dangerous and im not sure they know that. theyre gonna be so sunburned so many of them are going to get skin cancer

ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT ISNT RED

ugh. ok i guess the brain things are dead anyway. whatever

mcspirk is so real and true

spocks not blind anymore. hes fine now. vulcan stuff

"my first sight was the face of dr mccoy bending over me" WHAT

"tis a pity brief blindness did not increase your appreciation for beauty, mr spock" WHAT????????

MCSPIRK IS SO REAL AND TRUE

#quark watches star trek #star trek #star trek tos

12 notes · View notes

bufffnaked · 1 year

Text

Most Relaxing Religiosity conversation to read ********** Caveat, most men, gulp swallah', are too fuckin' stubborn if Religious- all Religion is, is Impending Doom resulting in injections and police car rides to NGRI Hospital - Fair Warning Very Unhealthy**********

So clear the air, get comfy and we will begin!

The first concept in religiosity that is most laughter inducing is Religion of all forms on all continents is unprovable.

In America, Christianity if religious, everybody admits to the unprovability and actually ashiest when a further look is made into the concepts involving religion.

Basically, all you do is insult and attack people in religion. It is fuckin' brutal and unbelievable in every way. In my personal life and thru experience have confirmed in person that every religious person I have talked to is insane.

I never talked to, communicated with, and interacted with more rude people in my life. In university, because I have never bought a Bible or religious study materials. ;) Layin' on the sugar early here. My first interacted with mainstream religion was a visit to the Richmond Chapel in Richmond, Virginia where I went to the best university in the world! Had my own room and own bathroom! I was pimpin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I walk into the basement after being told pizza, snacks, coffee, drinks, desserts etc. Like a usual church experience. However, I walked into the big downstairs and immediately did not like the architecture, vibe etc.

I was young and happenin'!!!!!! Abs and muscles you cannot see anywhere else in the world.

So I walk into the basement after already not likin' the place. And the rudest white person in the world I have interacted with Nick Morgan Senior... my now insane sister in law's ''FATHER." Hahahaha, anyway.......... Pizza and food was there and I made a dash for food and she was like no no no need to listen. And I was like no thank you you are a very rude individual. She insisted and there were some other hottish women there and I sat down for a second. However, after looking at the book I left. I picked up the book and it was called Evolution crunchers. And I was like, I already have problems I believe in science. And she was shakin' her head no the entire time instead of her tits. So I adjusted my bracelets, and she is incredibly rude geeky and they both had the most hideous jaw lines looks and wow...... hahahahahahaha. I was like sweaters much it's fuckin' 90 degrees outside. Brought a lotta attention, lotta more attention 'cuz everybody was chucklin'. Anyway, this book I didn't even pick up more than likely made a textbook joke... Laughter instantly after smilin' with the interest shown from the other hotter women! ;) The laughter came from the Title Evolution Cruncher where the book was clearly written with an agenda like, Christian University of the South or something hilarious. hahhahahahahaha, anyway again. hahahahahahahahaha. The book made so much comedy it was unreal like, If the sun was a milliemeter closer the earth could not hold head shakin' no here, hahahahaha could not hold life! Nearly fell over and collapsed. Other beyond bogus claims, like one more drop of rain a day and the world fuckin' world combust as in go up in flames and defined combustion on the side. Hahahahahahaha. You can picture my laughter and falling over with pizza. That I said, hahahhaahahahahaha everybody hot was rollin' and I am like rollin' on the floor howlin'. There were these other geeks out of like some kinda slime factory meets the civil war in bonnets kinda fannin' that also if you can imagine led me to not having an ability to keep shit together. I smoothly ;) lined up a 10 second window with a hot woman outside and GTFO'd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! It is a real book actually, Evolution Crunchers... hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the Google search under heading for the book. Also, very funny!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahahahahaha,

"1350 scientific quotations or references, 43 pages of illustrations, a research guide"

(PDF) The Evolution Cruncher | Kianosh Kalantari

Academia.eduhttps://www.academia.edu › The_Evolution_Cruncher

Scientific facts which annihilate evolutionary theory, Including 1350 scientific quotations or references, 43 pages of illustrations, a research guide, ...

I'm gettin' Whiz Kalefah here on my YouTube random music.... hahahahaha horrible music.........

Anyway, gotta download that one. However, imagery is there that is LoL!

Here is the picture, like can the earth move ever? It's called erosion! Anyway.... here is the picture.

hahahahahahahahahahaha ;) I laughed so hard and actually looked for the dine and dash! :) ;)

SZA hahahahhahaha I remember this joke of a song, SZA See You Again hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha "damn who know" /

I put a cigarette in my mouth and bounce and hot women were howlin' at me how hot I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)hahahahahahaha!:) ;) Hotter women can see ya studlish' has the world's best comedy! Funniest man in the world!:) ........

Post scrip still listening and laffin' my assnoff to Whiz Kaleafah See You Again....... Real life?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I'mna' finish the song.... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh noise............ hahahahahahahahahahaha OOC AAAAAAAAAAAhuh yep ....... shahahahahahahaha:)

Well 14 minute remix not fuckin' listenin':)hahahahahahahahaha

Back to Kacey Musgraves n' High Horse!

Anyway I love the visually and probably smiler bigger if that's possible :)hahahahhahaha hahahhahaha:) To see some southern bitches injected that are relgious and forced into a police car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah let me fit my ahhhhhh kinda forced me in my ridiculous oversized hat fanin' hahahaha:) we were at the hassss' races! fannin' in layman's terms hahahahaha a fuckin' imaginary horse racin' track............

There's gotta' be a TLC episode with a southern bitch woman forced forcibly into a fuzz wagon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahahahahahaha:) "Get your hands off me Mister!!!!!!!"hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Could even be Reno 911, said really really drably "We got lost see................." in Vegas hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Do you realize you are in Vegas M'am, "No" Is the answer watch your foot!!!!!!!!!!!hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

M'am you cannot attack this customer service woman, and it's some statue of a man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)hahahahahahaha

All of this is on the spot!!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, so I lit me a cigarette and breathed in the fresh party as I stepped outside on the porch, a festive, and fuckin' incredible university experience at VCU! Hottest women in the world when I was there and resay, still hottest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : )

"It is The Golden Skillet not the Golden Rule... A diner!"

I am completly completly done with my parentals, bro, sister in law etc.

I told my mom to FUCK OFF when I saw her last and she jumped at me...

Every word in the Bible is actaully so fictious and a work of literature it is actually opposite.

And the Movie Twilight, my personal favorite trilogy like book turned into a movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

You cannot actually read somebody's mind.

You can only guess, read energy, auras- mostly used in a negative way describes somebody's energy, vibes etc

Read somebody's energy is the most simple kinetic term to use in science! :)

Like, "That dude clearly looks like a cat person..."

~ Urban Dictionary entry! :)

As a final note, I am done with not only my parents extended fam etc other than my kids, I HAVE NEVER ATTENDED WILLING ANY RELIGIOUS SERVICE.

A known ATHIEST, AND a happy go lucky person, life of the patry, ease of entry with women, AND FINALLY ATHLETIC FITNESS STUD BRACLET WEARER WORLD TRAVELER.

I normally, spend ZERO and I MEAN ZERO TIME INTERACTING WITH NITWITS.

Completely done with people like Danny Boi, other but buttiys with """"""""BIG DAVE""""""""" ANYONE CONNECTED TO DEBRA SAYIN" NO TO FUN, BEACH LIVIN", RELIGION IN ANY FORM!!!!!!!!! EVEN SPIRTUALISM......................

WHAT ELSE, I'LL BE SPECIFIC AS POSSIBLE HERE ANY WEIRD PERSON>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

THE SLAGGIN' WAGON EAAAAAAAAAAAAARS.................

EMBO< THE IRISH CELTIC BOI tap tap tap a ROOO SMALL HANDED NOSE FUCKED UP FACE AND LIFE FUCKED OVER IRISH UGLY AS POSSIBLE BOTH AND INSANLEY DELUSIONAL BOI SONG WITH VIOLINS ETC

ANY KINDA ED HARRIS MOVIE WHERE JENNIFER CONNALY ISN"T SERVICED EVERY SECOND ALTHOUGH CAN BE FUN IN UNIVERSITY NORMALLY ISN"T UP TO BENEFICAL BEHAVIORS>........

I DO NOT LIKE ANY RELIGIOUS PERSON BECAUSE THRU LIVED LIFE EXPERIENE ARE THE MOST RUDE, ANNOYING, UNHEALTHY, and not to mention dishonest people possible.

DONE WITH PPLS GROUP INTERESTS ;)hahahahahaha like the MICHAELS or MICHALANISTS INTEREST SATURDAYISTS.......

SAR MICHAAL Will constantly text after blockin' several phones and'll be like

"hey, this is sar MICHAALs..." etc hhhhhhhhhhhhahahaha I do not read only BLOCK THE FUCKIN" TEXT

DAVEY JONESES LOCKER HERRRR BRATHAR EX Will thru experiece.............................. HAVE A DELUSION ALSO THAT HE IS LIKE THE BEST AT EVERYTHING CRUMPLES HIS HAT WHEN HE TAKES IT OFF............. IT'S FUCKIN" CALLED A SOCK HAT, BEANIE, TOUK in many cultures all around the world

DAVEY JONESES LOCKER IS A FUCKIN" BRAT PRICK THAT HAS NO GED is gonna' get locked away in an insane asylum for life here soon.................

PARENTS ANNOYING AS POSSIBLE LIKE WHOLE FAM BAM........ BRAG ABOUT LIVIN" IN AUSTRIA IF EVEN DID MORE THAN LIKELY WAS IN AN INSANE ASYLUM .....

ANYWAY.......

DONE.........................................................

Also entire fam bam is like in the 4 foot height range so.................

************************************************************************

Caveat Time dbl check spelling there...

So really the hang up in science especially social science called Psychology that I was awarded for graduating from VCU! ........... Drum roll.............. is................

That MeGener's believe they can do things with their mind. As in brain........ Also many too stubborn people have what is called a delusion to use the science term, an idea people cannot get out of their head that and we will use a simple simple simple example I used today.

Say somebody is walkin' along, a MeGener'll fuckin' say, I, and this does not leave them..................

Walkin' along and'll say, I can move this cone on the sidewalk with my mind.........

And you cannot convince somebody like that that is really insane and a movie concept.

Like in Star Wars, many comic book movies etc. Like Magneto is not a fictional character.

NGRI is an impending doom concept give you a creppy vibe, however relaxing to comprehend and having a working concept that you cannot actually believe in delusions like that usual math delusion you can move objects with your mind, however funny to laugh at..........

Moving on, other than moving objects with your brain prevalent, a science concept called cross sectional. Meaning, when prevalent, across generation as a an entirety and statisically near 100 % with MeGener's, Math Majors, and three!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stubborn religious people robust evidence that is mostly men that say to no all forms of

EDUCATION, and any form of GeD, that is....... General Education Diploma necessary for life and work etc.

Something is wrong with saying NO TO A GED!

Relgious people to wrap up with something practical do haenous and say haenous things to their infants, kids, and people of all ages. The ruddest worst people in the world, and that is SCIENCE. SO FACT!

Religious people'll say things to their kids and I have for another FACT proved in person every Religious person is insane and do horrific things to their infants and toddlers like throw them around cruelly in a church service, abuse them by hitting their kids, don't really want to get started.............

All in all I am a happy healthy normal funny hot muscles kinda man!!!! In everyway, won't ever give up and care the most in the world!:)

All of this is unedited, loved writing this! Hope this moves you in some way to action!

21 notes · View notes

the-iceni-bitch · 3 years

Text

Killing Mrs. Pronge: Part 3/3

Pairing: Mr. Freezy x hit woman!reader

Words: ~1.9K

Summary: Will you and Bobby be able to throw off the cops when they arrive at the scene?

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (pussy slapping, f receiving oral sex, mentions of vaginal sex), DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!! Mentions of staged murder/suicide (including that of a child), infidelity adjacent, a cop being extremely inappropriate at a crime scene, gossipy neighbors, special guest appearance, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

A/N: Well, the crazy journey is over!!! I can’t believe I finally wrote this, but it was so much fun!! What new shenanigans will I find for our two psychos? Who knows? But they’re sure to be filthy and dark AF!

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!!!

The sound of sirens woke you up, your dog popping his head up and grumbling at the disturbance before just flopping back over and falling back asleep.

You took your time getting ready, spending a good twenty minutes in the shower to collect yourself as you tried to decide whether you wanted to head out with the rest to the nosy neighbors or wait for the inevitable knock. It seemed like it would be less suspicious if you went out to see what was going on, so you pulled on a cardigan and steeled yourself.

There was a crowd gathering outside of the Pronge’s house already, all the busybodies chattering as they stared at the ambulance and police cruisers. When a coroner’s van pulled up they went insane, whisper shouting at each other to try to figure out what exactly was going on.

“What’s happening?” You sidled up to your neighbor Jill, fidgeting with your sleeves a little bit. You just hoped Bobby was holding it together.

“No one knows, the sirens woke everyone up but the cops won’t tell anybody anything.” She gave you a pat on the arm in what you were sure was supposed to be a soothing gesture. “Don’t worry, I know Mary’s been acting a little off lately, but I’m sure everything’s fine.”

“Of course.” It made you feel a little better that the neighborhood had noticed that stupid bitch was being extra crazy, you still wanted to know what was going on though.

“Oh, here comes one of them now, Officer Bill!” She waved at the cop that was walking near the barricade they had set up, and you had to tamp down your fight or flight response at being so near to law enforcement. “Can you tell us anything?”

“Sorry hon.” He gave her a sympathetic look and shrugged before turning his gaze to you. “Who’s this?”

Oh, fuck no. This asshole was not going to try to pick you up at a murder/suicide. But there he was, licking his bottom lip and staring right at your tits. Granted, you had left your cardigan open and with your low cut tank top the bites Bobby had left all over you were extremely obvious.

“This is Suzy, the girl I told you about.” Way to keep that under your breath, Jill. Of course this moron knew the fucking cop.

“Nice to meet you.” You mumbled, shrugging as you tried to look past him to see what was going on inside the house.

“You too, darling.” He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and pointed to the bites that littered your chest. “Where’d ya get those?”

Perfect, the neighborhood gossip machine was going to have a fucking field day; a murder/suicide and now you were apparently a secret slut. Wonder which was going to dominate? Hopefully the deaths.

You might as well flirt back. Never hurt to have a friendly cop handy. Bonus, it would definitely piss off Bobby, and he fucking deserved it for all the shit he’d put you through over the past few days. Cop was kinda cute anyways, except for the flat top.

“Well, I just like to have a good time.” You gave him a knowing smirk and crossed your arms under your breasts, trying not to roll your eyes when he sucked in a deep breath.

“That so?” He leaned closer to you, ignoring the way the group was straining against the barricade when the coroner pulled a gurney towards the house. “What’s your idea of a good time, sweetheart?”

“Lots of things.” You tilted your head and peeked at him through your eyelashes. God, sometimes you forgot how easy it was to manipulate these meatheads. “Why? You wanna find out?”

“Oh my god!”

People started crying and screaming when the coroner’s team rolled out the bodies, Robert walking out and chatting with another cop which sent everyone into a whole new fit of hysteria when they realized who must be in the bags. He saw you and his jaw clenched when you gave him a glare before burying your face in Officer Bill’s chest with a dramatic fake sob.

“Aww, honey. Shit.” He ran his hands over your back soothingly as you cried into his uniform, making you stifle a groan when he did a piss poor job of hiding when he smelled your hair. “I’m sorry, baby. Was she your friend?”

“My best friend.” You choked out, letting him place his hand extremely low on the small of your back while you fake mourned. What a dick. “This is so horrible.”

“I know, darling.” He tilted your head back with a grip on your chin, brushing his thumb just under your bottom lip as he gazed into your eyes. “Just tell me what you need.”

Jesus, this guy was ridiculous.

“I’m just… I’m gonna make sure her husband is ok?” He looked awful disappointed at that, but the cops were starting to break up the scene, so it’s not like he would be around for much longer anyway. “Robert!”

Bobby looked like he was barely keeping his rage contained when you drew him into an embrace. You could feel him glaring at the cop until you turned the two of you back towards the house.

“Don’t fucking blow this, Bobby.” You let out a deep breath when he embraced you back, also smelling your hair.

“What the fuck were you doing with that cop, kitten?” His fingers dug into your waist painfully as he fought the urge to bury his face in your neck.

“Calm your tits.” You stepped back when he released you and pulled him into the house. “Don’t go killing a fucking cop just because you can’t stand when anyone else touches me. We are going to work on your fucking impulse control. Tell me what they said.”

“They bought it.” He ran a hand over his face once the door was closed. “Apparently the dumb cunt’s erratic behavior was common knowledge.”

“Knew it.” All the tension you had been holding seeped out of you, leaning your body against the wall with a deep sigh. “I saved your fucking ass.”

“Shut the fuck up.” He prowled towards you and wrapped his hand around your throat. “Seem to remember promising to fuck you senseless once we got rid of that bitch.”

“Oh, but I want something else now, Bobby.” You grabbed his wrist and wrenched it away from your body, shoving him towards the couch and strutting after him. “You fucking owe me, so get on your knees.”

“The fuck are you talking about?” He growled when you dodged his attempt to grab you again.

“I said, get on your fucking knees.” You sank into the couch with a huff, hooking your fingers under the sides of your shorts and tossing them aside.

“Kitten…” He was trying to hold back when you spread your legs wide and teased your fingers through your soaked folds. Couldn’t let you get the upper hand that easy.

“Do it, Bobby.” You slapped your cunt and he snarled at you before slowly sinking to the floor, glaring at you through his lashes when you propped your ankle on his shoulder expectantly. “Show me how fucking grateful you are that you’re not in fucking cuffs.”

He grumbled before he started nipping at the curve of your ankle, digging his fingers into the flesh of your calf before he started sucking and biting his way up your leg. You moaned softly when he reached your knee, hooking it over his shoulder while he sucked a bruise against the inside of your thigh.

It didn’t take long for him to lose himself in the taste and smell of you, grunting as he drew closer and closer to the soft, wet prize between your legs. As soon as his cheek brushed against your dewy lips while he nibbled at the jut of your hip he lost it, shoving his face into your pussy and groaning at how drunk you made him feel.

His tongue ran over your slit hungrily, lapping up every sweet drop of your arousal while his fingers pulled you apart so he could delve even deeper into your wet heat. The feeling of his tongue stroking and curling against your soft walls had you dropping your head back against the cushions with a sigh, rolling your hips against his face as he fucked you with the thick muscle while his nose rubbed against your clit.

“That’s a good boy, Bobby, fuck.” His hungry grunts and growls were making you even wetter, soaking the lower half of his face in your juices while he gazed at you hungrily through his lashes. “So fucking drunk on my pussy, aren’t you, baby?”

The sound he made was almost pathetic, a borderline whine that sent a shiver up your spine while he wrapped his thick arms around your thighs and groaned. Your toes were already curling with how close you were, your hands reaching to grip his hair and hold him in place while he drew your pleasure out of you.

When his lips wrapped around your clit you had to bite back a scream, arching your body into his face while he sucked on your tiny pearl and massaged it with the tip of his tongue. One good swipe and you were finished, biting your lip until blood welled in your mouth as you vibrates against his face. He moaned when your thighs tried to close around his head, slurping up your cum as it flowed over his chin until you body went still and he could release you.

“Mm, that was so fucking good, Bobby.” You laughed when he tried to snarl at you when you cupped his cheek, his eyes still blown wide and his breathing shallow while he tried to act like he wasn’t completely intoxicated with you. “Now say ‘thank you’.”

“Oh, fuck…”

You slapped him when he tried to talk back, tutting at the look of rage that almost took over his face before squeezing his cheeks together with a demeaning smirk and forcing his gaze to yours.

“Oh no, Bobby. You fucked up so bad baby, we’re gonna have to switch things up until I feel like you’ve made it up to me.” You dug your nails into his skin and grinned wickedly when he hissed. “No, fucking say thank you, then I’ll let you eat me out in your marital bed until I squirt in your mouth like I know you love.”

“Thank you.” It was obvious that he wasn’t thrilled about this new dynamic, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“See, not so hard.” You released him and rose to your feet, tearing off your shirt and throwing it away before starting to head towards the bathroom. “Better get used to just using your mouth and tongue for a while, Bobby, ‘cause we’re gonna work on your impulse control while you make this up to me. Maybe I’ll suck that cop’s dick while you listen so you can learn to hold back that temper.”

“What?!”

316 notes · View notes

gildedmuse · 2 years

Note

So I’ve been slowly watching my way through the One Piece movies now that I’m caught up to the show (what am I supposed to do when I’m done that?) and so you’re going to have to put up with me yelling about them because I have no one to do so with irl.

Also if you haven’t seen One Piece: Dead End Adventure, there are some minor spoilers in the form of screen caps so please do not read any further in that case:

With that out of the way: I am going insane because Zoro looked so fine in this movie. He had barely any scenes (a crime) but he looked so good in all of them that I don’t even care.

Like he goes absolutely feral at the thought of a fight here, yet somehow him looking absolutely unhinged is still amazing. And this:

Just relaxing, totally not showing off or anything…

It then occurred to me that if this movie happened with Heart Pirate Zoro, the first set of 3 pictures would be Zoro getting into a bar fight without Law’s permission, and the 4th would be Zoro’s expression when Law goes to discipline him. And, well, I definitely wouldn’t be able to punish Zoro when he looks like that, but maybe Law is stronger than I am…

Anyways, the point is that Dead End Adventure is amazing and I feel like it would’ve been really funny if the heart pirates were in it because the bad guy’s entire plan would immediately get destroyed. Also that Zoro looks VERY good in this movie.

I honestly having nothing to add to this at this time. It's so perfect(especially the Hearts Pirate Zoro part)

I will say - and I apologize for this - Law is stronger than you. He would so grab Zoro by that shirt - that too tight shirt, like what shirt hugs a man's tits like that!!!???!?????? - and just be yelling at his face.

Not just because he wants to be close to his face. Geeze you guys.... He isn't a pervert.

Law: *holding Zoro by the shirt, definitely not looking down at his chest*

#one piece #roronoa zoro #trafalgar d. water law #trafalgar law #i havent seen this movie yet #but im loving hoow clingy Zoros shirt is #ask and you shall receive #amusing musings

19 notes · View notes

babybluebex · 4 years

Text

desperate hearts (and bodies) [sebastian stan] NSFW!!

➽ pairing: sebastian stan x fem!reader (y/n) ➽ word count: 2.5k ➽ summary: while watching his new movie, sebastian makes a deal with you: you’ll watch the movie until the credits roll, or else. ➽ warnings: NSFW/MDNI. explicit language, smut, fingering (f!receiving), teasing, slight dom!seb ➽ a/n: i have no logical explanation for this, so just have it lol

It took a lot of convincing to have Sebastian watch one of his movies. He hated seeing himself work and, ever the perfectionist, found apparent flaws in his performance that neither the director nor editors had “managed” to find. He was against it at first, but, when I told him that I was too scared to watch his new movie The Covenant alone, he agreed. This man was such a pushover. We had known each other since high school when we paired together as scene partners for our school’s drama department. Seb was a senior when I was a freshman and we always got along, albeit at a casual distance. It wasn’t until we were in college together and I was randomly assigned him as a student mentor that we grew close, eventually kissing and fucking and revealing our long-boiling feelings.

We had been together for nearly two years by this point, and I had seen him through every single professional role. When we reunited, he had just had a small role on Law and Order, and he had only gone up from there. The Covenant was the first horror-type movie he had ever done, and I had gotten a basic-enough synopsis from him for me to avoid it. However, being the dutiful girlfriend that I was, I wanted to support him and watch it, and that’s where the begging came in.

Sebastian was a pushover. One hell of a pushover. I usually had to pout and he gave in to me, but watching his own movie came at a larger price, not that I minded it. As we sat down to watch the movie, my knees still ached from our earlier “negotiation”, and Sebastian grabbed my legs and hauled them into his lap. He clicked his tongue a few times, then said, “Baby girl, why didn’t you tell me?”

“It doesn’t hurt,” I shrugged, but winced when he pressed a finger into the red patches.

“Right,” he said with a smile. “And I’m the Queen of England.”

“Put on the movie, would ya?” I chuckled. “Shut your mouth.”

“You love my mouth,” Sebastian teased, tickling my thighs, and I sighed.

“I do, but it’s annoying sometimes,” I said, and I kissed my finger and pressed it to his bottom lip. “Movie. Please?”

The moment he came on screen, I felt a familiar heat in my stomach. He was a piece of shit high school guy in this movie, but he was so insanely hot. The female characters were falling all over him, but I would be lying if I said that I didn’t share the affection. “Aww, look at you,” I cooed, leaning over to tickle his chin. “Little teenage dirtbag Seba.”

“Is this why you wanted to watch this?” Sebastian laughed, smacking my hands away. “To make fun of me the whole time?”

“No,” I said. “I want to support you, damn it. I just have the privilege of making fun of you.”

Sebastian sighed, playing shaking his head, and he whispered, “You’re gonna kill me, woman.”

“I sure hope not,” I said, turning my attention back to the screen for a moment. “But it looks like Pogue might. What the hell kinda name is Pogue anyway?”

“I wish I knew,” Sebastian shrugged. “Oh, she was nice, though,” he added, pointing at the blonde girl on screen. “Really sweet. Said you were pretty.”

“You showed her a picture of me?” I asked.

“Well, not intentionally,” Sebastian said. “I was using a Polaroid of you as a bookmark and she handed me my book at one point in the makeup trailer and asked and… You know I love talking about you. I had to indulge her.”

“You keep getting better everyday,” I told him with a smile.

“You too, baby girl,” he said. “I’m getting a beer. You want one?”

“Nah,” I said. “But if it comes with a tall Romanian, I might have to rethink that.”

“Two beers, coming up,” Sebastian said, sitting up to go. Before he fully stood up, though, he tugged me close and kissed me slowly. His kisses were to die for, and I would never grow tired of them. His tongue dipped into my mouth and his hand began to inch my shirt up, but I grabbed his wrist quickly.

“Stop trying to distract me, Seb,” I whispered, biting his plush bottom lip. “We’re watching this movie.”

“Fuck,” Sebastian hissed, and I released his lip. “Thought I had you there.”

“You’ll have to try harder than that,” I told him as he stood up. I watched him as he walked to the kitchen, pulling his jeans back up his hips, and I couldn’t help but admire his ass. Even in high school, Sebastian had a nice body, and it had only gotten better with age and time. I turned my attention back to the movie, and Sebastian quickly returned with our drinks. I took a sip of mine before settling fully into his lap, and his arms went around my waist. “Okay, hold on, I’m confused,” I said quickly. “So those four guys are, like, witches? Wizards? Can guys be witches? Anyway, there’s four of them, but they sense a disturbance in the Force?”

Sebastian laughed deep in his chest. “I mean, pretty much,” he said. “You’ve got it.”

“Chase is the fifth power,” I said quickly. “I’m calling it right now.”

“Woah, hold on, what makes you think I’m the bad guy?” Sebastian asked with a quirk of his lips.

“I just know, man,” I said, taking another drink. “I know how these movies work, and you’re super hot-- more than the leads, actually-- and you’re a new guy. The bigger twist would be if he isn’t the fifth power.”

Sebastian hummed for a moment, then he sighed and mumbled, “Fuck me, you’re good at this.”

I gave a victory laugh and kissed his cheek, and he sucked his teeth in fake annoyance. “You’re way too smart for this, I’m never watching any movies with you again,” Sebastian grumbled.

“Aww, Seba, don’t be like that,” I pouted. “I still wanna watch this.”

“Fuck!” Sebastian huffed and threw his arms in defeat. “What do I have to do to turn this movie off?”

“You said that I’d have to suck your dick and we’d watch this movie,” I began. “And I did, and I did it good. So, we are watching the movie until the goddamn credits roll.”

“Mmhmm,” Sebastian grumbled, drinking his beer. “Alright then. Until the credits roll.”

Sebastian put his drink down a few minutes later, his hands slotting between my thighs. His hands were always freezing and it was a usual thing for him to warm his hands on some part of me; sometimes, it was under my arm or on my tits. Today, it seemed, was between my thighs. His thumb stroked my skin in slow and languid motions, and, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was innocent. He gave a sigh from his plump, pink lips, and he leaned his head on my shoulder, his eyes stuck to the TV screen. My fingers threaded through his hair absently as I watched Chase and the other witches go about their high school antics, and a familiar pressure grew between my thighs when the camera moved into a locker room. Sebastian was there, his shirt undone and his tie hanging loosely around his neck, and I gave a small gasp.

“Everything alright?” Sebastian whispered in my ear, giving it a delicate kiss. “You seem a little shaken up.”

“I’m good,” I replied. “Just… Your hands are fucking cold, man.”

“Yeah,” Sebastian chuckled. “It’s a curse, baby girl. But you seem… I don’t wanna say it because I don’t think you deserve the satisfaction, but… Are you turned on?”

I shrugged. It was embarrassing as hell that I was turned on by Sebastian in a movie, especially when I was sitting in his lap. “You know I love your abs,” I mumbled, picking at the label on my beer bottle.

“So that’s a yes?” Sebastian hummed. He leaned in and kissed my neck, his thumb moving just a bit higher up my thigh. “Just the sight of me gets you all hot, huh? I don’t even have to be doing anything.”

“Seb--” I began, but his lips attached to the spot on my neck that we both knew was my weakness. He gave it a few gentle nips with his front teeth, then soothed the sting with his tongue, and I clenched my teeth together to control my noises. His hand went higher and higher still until it reached the hem of my panties, and he slowly pushed his fingers into it. He was quiet and gentle as his hand moved, continuing to kiss my sweet spot as his palm pressed against my heat. The heel of his hand was right against my clit, just barely making enough contact, and I wriggled helplessly to get him where I wanted him.

“Watch the movie, baby girl,” Sebastian whispered, his voice low and rumbling. “You’ll miss something important.”

I groaned softly. “Sebastian,” I mumbled. “Please, love--”

“Please what?” Sebastian whispered. “What do you want, baby girl?”

“Touch me,” I panted softly. “Please.”

“You said we were going to watch this movie until the credits roll,” Sebastian said slowly. “I’ve already seen it-- fuck, I’m one of the leads--” My legs tightened at his words, trapping his hand against my wet heat, and he laughed. “So, you’re gonna watch this movie. The entire thing. And you’re not gonna worry about what I’m doing. Alright?”

I nodded, fixing my gaze on the screen once more. I didn’t expect him to push on as quickly as he did, but he ground his hand against my sensitive clit almost the moment I agreed. I gasped in surprise and I felt Sebastian smile against my neck as he continued to kiss my weakest spot, and he whispered, “Goddamn, baby. So wet for me.”

His fingers nudged me open and the tip of his middle finger began to press into me. He was moving just too slow and it was annoying the hell out of me, and I lifted my hips to have his finger in deep. “Oh, no,” Sebastian whispered, his voice a low rumble. “Don’t do that. Just relax, baby.”

“Seb--” I whined hopelessly. I knew that, no matter how much I begged, he was ultimately going to do what he wanted. He was an ass that way. “Please, babe.”

“Please what?” Sebastian said, dragging his teeth along my neck.

“More,” I whimpered. I was so fucking pathetic, but Sebastian just did something to me. No matter what, he could break me down to a crying, begging mess of a girl.

“More?” Sebastian repeated. “Like this?” He added his ring finger with excruciatingly slow speed, and his thumb came to rest on my clit at the same time. My thighs quivered at the feel of his cool rings on my wet and tender skin, and I whined high in my throat. “Oh, so good, baby girl. Taking my fingers like this, such a good little whore.”

For a moment, I dared to look away from the television in favor of my boyfriend, and I found his steel-blue eyes locked on my face. A single dark eyebrow quirked, and he said, “You just can’t follow rules, can you?” Then, seeing my flushed face and bitten lips, clicked his tongue and cooed. “Aw. Want me to fuck you stupid, baby? Doesn’t seem like that’ll take too long.”

“Seb,” I breathed. “Just…” I flexed my hips, hoping that he understood, and he gave me a devilish smile.

“This is the good part,” Sebastian whispered in my ear, and his fingers began a slow and steady pace. “Watch it, baby girl.”

My entire body was burning hot, and I squirmed in Sebastian’s arms. He was on screen, his eyes tinted fully black as he pinned one of the boys to the floor, and I felt a spasm of lightening in my stomach when his fingers finally found that spot inside of me. I jostled in his lap and bit back my moan, and he gave a little huff. “How bad do you want it?” He whispered. “Bad enough to beg for it?”

“Yes,” I sobbed. “Please, Seb, please, fuck me. I need you so bad, please, please, Seb.”

Sebastian groaned deep in his chest, and his mouth latched onto my neck. He sucked at the sensitive skin, surely leaving a mark, and he dragged his fingers in and out of my wet heat. “Look at that,” Sebastian whispered as Chase landed a kiss on his opponent’s cheek. “I am the bad guy. You were right. How are you so fucking smart, baby?”

“I know you,” I said, my cheeks burning with his praise. “You wouldn’t play a good guy.”

“Ah,” Sebastian sighed. “I knew you were smart. Now, be a good girl for me and come all over my fingers. I know how bad you want to. Maybe, if you keep being so good for me…” His lips brushed my ear before he gave me a soft kiss on my hot cheek. “I’ll let you come on my cock later.”

Sebastian’s thumb made fast circles around my throbbing clit as I tried to do as he told me and watch the movie, but I was completely distracted. I could feel his hard cock through his jeans, and the thought of having him fuck me while his movie played was enough for me to shout “Seb!” and make a mess on his fingers. My thighs trembled as Sebastian shushed me comfortingly, and he pushed my hair aside and cradled my face in his free hand. “Oh, good girl,” he whispered softly. “So, so good for me, baby. Are you feeling better now?”

I nodded and swallowed thickly, my throat dry and tight. Sebastian brushed his lips against mine warmly, and he finally pulled his fingers from my throbbing cunt. The room was dark, only the television giving any light, but I still saw his fingers glistening in the light. He handed me his beer with his free hand and, before I could say anything, popped his fingers in his mouth. I watched him for a moment before taking a drink; even though the beer was a little warm, it helped soothe my throat. “Thanks,” I said softly.

“Mm,” Sebastian hummed around his fingers, then pulled them out. “For what, baby? You know I like making you feel good.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I just always like to thank you.”

“No need for that,” Sebastian said. “I know you appreciate it.” There was a pause, and then he groaned. “Fuck, c’mon! You guessed the twist in the first ten minutes!”

“It’s--!” I started. “It’s a PG-13 horror movie! These things are formulaic! You-- You aggravate me. Good thing you’re cute.”

“Or what?” Sebastian laughed. “You’d dump me?”

“Maybe not dump you,” I shrugged. “But I certainly wouldn’t let you fingerblast me while we watched a movie.”

Sebastian laughed, his eyes crinkling up, and he said, “God, you act like there wasn’t any romance.”

I scoffed. “Was there?”

“Oh, baby girl,” Sebastian chuckled. He pulled me back into his lap, my thighs straddling his waist, and he kissed me hard, his tongue dipping into my mouth. “I’ll show you fucking romantic I can be.”

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan fic

336 notes · View notes

bruhstories · 3 years

Text

Bloodlust

Summary: You were a rookie Jashinist with a dark secret, he was a demented shinobi with a desire to slaughter anything and everything for his god. Pairing: Hidan x Fem!Reader (canon verse) Warnings & Content: dark content - minors dni, language, blood kink, kidnapping, murder, oral sex (male receiving), vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, knives, human sacrifice, cult-like behaviour, religious fanatism, Reader and Hidan are... insane, slight gore. Word Count: 2.8 k

A/N: Read those tags carefully. Hidan's not exactly a warm and fuzzy character.

"Please, let me go... I won't tell anyone." You peeled your lips open, dry from all the crying and lack of hydration, hairs stuck to your sweaty forehead.

"Let you go? But... you came here willingly." He sneered, flashing you his teeth.

He was right. You joined the Jashinists thinking they were a liberal religion, preaching freedom and anarchy, but you did not expect sadism and human sacrifices. And you didn't expect to fall in love with Hidan — the most vile man you've ever encountered. Not that he knew that, anyway. He couldn't possibly fathom the idea that a sweet thing like you could love a man like him. But you weren't a saint.

"T-then why are you doing this to m-me?" You breathed, the ropes around your wrists cutting the blood circulation in your hands.

Hidan clicked his tongue and placed his scythe on the floor. "Because I can." He picked up a knife — no, a kunai. "And because you wanted to run away."

Ah, there it was. You decided to leave this cult when Hidan prompted you to kill some poor ninja he'd kidnapped a few days ago. You refused, expecting to be left alone, and now you were the sacrifice.

"I t-told you, I- I only kill those who deserve it."

"Everyone deserves it, Y/N. Especially traitors." Hidan traced the blade over your exposed abdomen, goosebumps dotting your skin and you were ashamed to admit that it made you feel... something.

"So, you're just g-going to kill m-me?"

"Don't be sad. You'll make a fine fucking sacrifice for Jashin."

"Please, Hidan, give m-me another c-chance." Tears pooled at your eyes. Death was not on your list, not now, and especially not at his hands.

"You know we don't give second chances." The blade was now between your tits, the tip slowly poking into your skin. Crimson droplets seeped from the fresh wound. It stung like a bitch, and it made you whimper, but the heat in your cunt signalled your arousal.

"You d-don't, but Jashin does." You whispered, and Hidan was completely taken aback.

"Excuse you?"

"Every t-time you failed to kill someone, hengave you another c-chance." You spat at him. "What m-makes you think he won't g-give me one?"

Confused wouldn't even begin to describe what he felt. Hidan blinked slowly, trying to comprehend the question before he dropped the kunai and left without a word.

You didn't know exactly how much time passed since he left. By this point you couldn't feel your fingers and the room began to spin, head dizzy from exhaustion. The door swung open and you shot your head up, startled by the sudden intrusion. Hidan walked in with a terrifying look on his face and bent down to grab the blade. He slashed the first rope and your hand fell limp by your hip.

"You're lucky he's a benevolent god." He slashed the second rope and your knees hit the cold, hard floor. Fear, happiness and anxiety coiled in your stomach, surprised that you have, indeed, been given a second chance.

"You talked to him?" You shook your wrists to get the blood flowing, eyes finding his.

"Yes, and surprisingly he likes you. Says you have potential." His voice went up an octave when uttering the last word in what seemed to be sarcasm.

Still on the floor, you arched a brow. "Do you doubt his judgement?" You suspected it was a mistake to ask that question, because in a split second Hidan yanked your hair and pulled your head back to look at him upside-down.

"I'll die before I doubt the good lord. Who I doubt is you." He pierced your soul with his sangria eyes, chills running down your spine, stopping in-between your thighs. You hated the effect he had over you, you hated that he was so oblivious to your hints, only focused on Jashin. Always Jashin.

Granted, Jashin did offer Hidan immortality, which was something you could only dream of. You were a pathetic civilian with a knack for medical jutsu, but never properly trained. He was a full-fledged shinobi who could snap your neck like a twig if he wanted to. And he wanted to.

But, the word of Jashin was law for Hidan. As much as he wanted to sacrifice you to his beloved god, he had to refrain himself, fearing punishment for his sins. And as much as he hated to admit it, you shared and valued the same goals of Jashinism — to a certain extent. You were down to slaughter people, but only those who deserved it, and apparently to Jashin that was enough. But not to Hidan. Never to Hidan.

"Jashin says I have potential, it's not up to you to talk back." You mustered up some courage after your wounds healed. That medical jutsu thing you practised for self-healing really came in handy when Hidan had violent outbursts and Kakuzu wasn't there to put him in his place. Shame you didn't know how to use it to heal others.

"Listen here, you little bitch, just because you've been pardoned now doesn't mean I'll hesitate to stab your tits when you disobey the lord." He let go of your hair and you leaned forward, palms on the floor to stop you from falling. "Besides, you're gonna have to prove yourself. Again."

You knew exactly what he meant. You had to kill. And Hidan wasn't one to let you off the hook — you'd have to kill someone innocent, and the idea of performing such a sacrifice made your stomach churn, it made you want to throw up, because you knew you'd enjoy it. Murdering someone deserving felt like a chore, like something natural. But the thought of killing someone undeserving made your heart flutter, your cunt burn and your head hazy with a high so addictive, no drug in the world could compare to it.

"Don't make me kill someone, please."

"Oh, spare me of your holier-than-thou bullshit. You either kill or be killed, Y/N. Now let's get to fucking work." Hidan bruised your arm in the process of 'helping' you up, unaware of the pleasant surprise that lurked within you. Because if he knew the real you, he'd probably question his own sanity — and that's something he'd never done. The real you was obscene, twisted and demented, long before you discovered Jashinism, but you tried to bury that part of you deep down. You seemingly succeeded, focusing your bloodlust on anarchy and overthrowing the Tsuchikage with a group of punk teenagers from your village, Iwagakure.

Until you met Hidan.

"I really don't want to do this." You pleaded with the silver-haired man, hands trembling and eyes watery.

"Kill him, Y/N." Hidan rolled his eyes, the blades of his scythe pressing into your back as you pressed your kunai into the victim's neck. "Kill him or I kill you."

"Alright, alright, I'll do it. But give me some space."

"Tch, pretentious bitch." He stepped aside, watching you carefully.

"More space." You demanded and he took another step back with an impatient look on his face.

"There's only one exit to this cave. If you think, for a fucking second, that you walk out of here alive you're wrong. Unless you kill him." Hidan licked his lips. "Jashin demands a sacrifice. Now."

You looked down at the symbol drawn with the victim's blood, then back at the man in front of you. His eyes were wide open and filled with tears, arms chained to then wall of the cave. He frantically shook his head, saliva dripping from his gag as he prayed for salvation.

"I'm so sorry." You spoke — not sorry for the victim, but for yourself and what you'd become after this day. Slender fingers lifted his chin upwards and with one swift movement, you slit open the skin, blood gushing out, spraying your face, neck and cleavage. "Fuck..." You moaned, the hot crimson liquid dripping down your chin.

"See, it wasn't so bad." Hidan elbowed you but you didn't move, instead, you gripped the blade handle tightly and drove it into the victim's abdomen, more blood spluttering on you when you removed it. "Oh, you want more?" The rogue shinobi quirked a brow, content with your choice. Adrenaline and arousal rushed through your veins and you dropped the kunai, the clanging echoing in the cave.

"Hidan..." You trailed off, tentatively unzipping your black cloak. "I want you to fuck me."

The silver-haired man watched you smear the blood over your exposed tits, his cock twitching in his pants. Finally, he realised just how beautiful you truly were, the pure ecstasy on your face igniting a flame in his core.

"Here?" He asked, somewhat surprised by your request.

"Yes, please." You turned around to face him, and the look on his face told you just how impressed he was.

"Now aren't you just so full of surprises? And here I thought you were just some goodie two-shoes who refused to harm people." Hidan removed his Akatsuki cloak, letting it fall to the ground, allowing you to see just how hard he was. You bit on your lower lip, the metallic taste was pure bliss in your mouth. "You filthy, disgusting whore." He sneered, his lips crushing yours in a shameful, euphoric kiss. The moment his tongue touched the blood in your mouth, his skin began to darken, his body linking with the victim's, meaning he hasn't died yet.

"Isn't he going to feel everything?" You pulled back from the kiss, but your voice wasn't in any way concerned about the man chained to the wall.

"Oh, he's going to feel it, alright." Hidan laughed, his hand pushing your head as you lowered yourself down your knees. Fingers tugged at the waistband of his pants and you pulled down both of the layers, his cock slapping your face. "Suck."

You obediently parted your lips, taking the velvety tip into your mouth, tongue swirling around it before you moved to his shaft. Hidan threw his head back, his fingers tangling in your hair as you bobbed your head back and forth, your moans music to his ears. The gurgling sounds coming from the victim told you that he, indeed, felt everything Hidan felt and your twisted mind enjoyed it so fucking much. You picked up the pace, earning grunts and growls from the rogue shinobi before he held your head in place, stuffing your mouth and throat with his thick cock until you dug your fingers in his thigh, desperately trying to breathe.

"Jashin was right to give you a second chance." Hidan released you and you gasped for air. "You're his gift for me."

The blood on your body dried out, but you were just as beautiful. You leaned on your back, spreading your legs for him. It was a smart decision not to wear anything underneath your cloak. The silver-haired man kneeled between your thighs, his hands bruising your skin with rough touches before he found your dripping cunt.

"Shit, Y/N, you're soaking wet." He shoved two fingers between your folds, curling them upwards. You squirmed and moaned, desperate for something bigger.

"S-skip the foreplay and fuck m-me!" You begged but Hidan wasn't one to listen. He thrusted his fingers in and out of you, enjoying the way you thrashed and moaned his name, enjoying the way you arched your back with every movement.

"You're so beautiful." He confessed and you were caught off guard. It was the first time he ever said something nice to you, let alone compliment you. "You really are a sight for sore fucking eyes." Hidan removed his fingers but before you could say anything, he shoved them in your mouth. "Don't you taste like a needy slut?"

You nodded with lidded eyes, cheeks hollowed as you sucked the slick off of fingers. Hidan hovered over you, his cock grazing over your slit and aching clit, then kissed you with so much force and passion you almost couldn't breathe.

"Fuck, you taste good." He grabbed his shaft and pushed the tip painstakingly slowly between your folds. Oh, he was so much bigger than you expected, but you quickly got accustomed to his girth, mouth agape and eyes rolled back in pleasure.

"Shit- Hidan!" You bucked your hips, legs wrapping around his waist as he wrapped his calloused fingertips around your neck.

"Jashin damn it, you are so tight. You're not a fucking virgin, are you?"

You shook your head, fingernails digging into his back and the victim gurgled again. Hidan released the grip from your neck, instead holding you by the hips and frenziedly pulling you onto his cock. It was sinful, degrading and demented, and his brutal, animalistic thrusts only turned you on more. The sound of skin against skin, growls and moans echoed in the cave, and soon enough Hidan's bone-like markings faded. You didn't care, he was still buried into your cunt, but the thrill of having your pussy obliterated next to a dying man dissipated, replaced by the pure lust Hidan radiated.

"Fuck, I'm-"

"No, you're not. Not until I fucking allow it." The silver-haired man pulled out and you cried, literal tears pooling at your eyes as you were on the brink of an orgasm. "You've been a bad, bad, girl, denying Jashin, denying slaughter, denying me." He gave your cunt a firm slap which vibrated through your entire body, ending with a whimper.

"Y-you have n-no idea how m-much I want you, Hidan." You squeezed your thighs together for a crumb or friction, but he forcefully pushed your knees to the sides.

"Then you should listen. See what a good job you've done today?" He tilted his head to the chained corpse.

"You d-don't understand... I've g-got an insatiable bloodlust." You admitted, but you knew he'd only be more intrigued.

"That's exactly why you've been drawn to Jashinism." Hidan flipped you over, and you were down on all fours. He pushed his cock back in you with one deep thrust, earning another moan out of you. "Embrace it, Y/N. You and I can do great things together, for him."

"But it's wrong." You whispered and you could feel his arm slithering around your neck, pulling you closer to him.

"And who told you that? Society? Your parents? Nah, I'll be your daddy from now on." His fat cock brushed against your cervix, your silken walls clenching around it as he fucked you harder. "You wanna come, don't you?"

"Oh, yes!"

"Yes, what?" Hidan tightened the grip, your back against his chest.

"Yes, daddy! Please, I want it, I want it!" You whimpered.

"And are you going to give Jashin everything he wants?"

It was decided — Hidan stripped you of any speck of humanity or rationality you had left in you. You loved him, after all, and he loved Jashin.

"Yes, I will! Jashin can have anything he wants as long as I have you."

"Good girl." He kissed your head before releasing your neck, hands gripping your hips to hold you in place. "Nowyou can come."

Your cunt was aching for release, and you mustered enough strength to rub your clit in messy, circular motions. Soon enough, you felt it coming — the rush of adrenaline as Hidan fucked into you, fingers pinching your sore nipples. You came on his cock with a soft moan and with one final, violent thrust he fills you up, cum dripping from your sloppy cunt as he pulls out. You rolled on your back, propping yourself on your elbows and Hidan froze, the sight of your used and abused pussy hypnotising him.

"Like what you see?" You grinned, fingers tentatively grazing over your slit, dipping between your folds before you brought them to your mouth to taste his seed.

"Shit, I think I'm in love." His sangria eyes bore into yours and your heart fluttered. You knew he was an asshole, and he probably only said it in the heat of the moment, but you were satisfied with what you got.

"What about him?"

"Meh, Kakuzu will take care of the mess. I wanna take a fucking bath." Hidan picked his red and black cloak up from the floor before getting up. "And I'm starving."

You pursed your lips and lowered your gaze. So much for being in love with you.

"You coming to the hot springs?"

"Me?"

"As much as I adore seeing you covered in blood, that shit's dry and crusty." He threw you your cloak.

"You wanna take a bath... with me?"

"Yes? The fuck are you acting so surprised? I just said I'm in love with you but you're surprised I wanna take a bath with you?"

"You know what, stop talking." You rolled your eyes and got up.

"I think the fuck not."

"Fuck's sake, Hidan, let's go."

"Fuckin' crazy bitch."

#hidan #naruto fic #hidan x reader #hidan x y/n #hidan x you #hidan smut #naruto smut #tw. blood #tw. knives #tw. murder

84 notes · View notes

incorrect-wow-quotes1 · 3 years

Text

Banshee Movie

Narrator: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a banshee should be able to fly. Its tendrils are too small to get its fat tits off the ground. The banshee, of course, flies anyway because banshees don't care what the living think is impossible.

*Cut to Undercity*

Sylvanas: Purple, black. Purple, black. Purple, black. Purple, black. Ooh, black and purple! Yeah, let's shake it up a little.

Banshee Lireesa: Sylvanas! Breakfast is ready!

Sylvanas: Coming!

Val'kyr: *Starts vibrating*

Sylvanas: Oh, hang on a second.

Sylvanas: *Slaps Val'kyr's ass*

Sylvanas: Hello?

Val'kyr: *Opens mouth, causing Velonara's voice to pour forth*

Velonara: Sylvanas?

Sylvanas: Velonara?

Velonara: Can you believe this is happening?

Sylvanas: I can't believe it! I'll pick you up.

Sylvanas: *Slaps Val'kyr's ass again to hang up*

Sylvanas: *Sharpens claws*

Sylvanas: Lookin' sharp.

Sylvanas: *Flies downstairs*

Lireesa: Sylvanas, why don't you use the stairs? Your other mom paid good money for those.

Sylvanas: Sorry. I'm excited!

Lireesa but in a player 2 color scheme: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, comrade. And a perfect report card, all B's.

Lireesa 1: Very proud. *Touches Sylvanas' hair*

Sylvanas: Ma! I got a thing going here.

Lireesa: And you've got some lint in your hair.

Sylvanas: OW! That's me!

Lireesa 2: Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.

Sylvanas: Bye! *Flies off* Sylvanas: Hey Velonara! Velonara: Hey Sylvanas! Is that hair gel? Sylvanas: A little. It's a special day, finally graduating. Velonara: Never thought I’d make it. Sylvanas: Yeah, three centuries grade school, three centuries high school. Velonara: Those were so awkward... Sylvanas: Three centuries college. I'm glad I took off one century in the middle and just hitchhiked around the Undercity. Velonara: You did come back different. *A banshee calls out as they fly past* Banshee: Hi, Sylvanas. Sylvanas: Hey Anya. Shaving your head? Looks good. Velonara: Hey did you hear about Aeriel? Sylvanas: Yeah. Velonara: You going to her funeral? Sylvanas: No, I'm not goin' to her funeral. Everybody knows you sting someone, you die. You don't waste it on a squirrel. She was such a hothead. Velonara: Yeah, I guess she could have just gotten out of the way. Sylvanas and Velonara: *Both make banshee screams as they turn a corner* S and V: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Velonara: I love this incorporating an amusement park right into our regular day.

Sylvanas: I guess that’s why they say we don’t need a vacation. Sylvanas: Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. Sylvanas: Well Velonara, today, we are Dark Rangers. Velonara: We are! Sylvanas: Banshee Dark Rangers. Velonara: *Starts banshee screaming again* Sylvanas: *Joins in* Announcer: Students, faculty, distinguished banshees, please welcome Dean Blightcaller. Nathanos, the normal human: Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of... 9:15! That concludes graduation ceremonies. Nathanos: And begins your career at Plaguex Industries! Sylvanas: Are we gonna pick our jobs today? Velonara: I heard it’s just orientation. Sylvanas: Huh. Woah! Heads up, here we go! Announcer: Keep your hands and tendrils inside the vehicle at all times. Mantenga sus manos y zarcillos dentro del tranvía en todo momento. Sylvanas: Wonder what it's going to be like? Velonara: A little scary. Sylvanas: *Starts banshee screaming again* Velonara: *Joins in* Banshee Vereesa, the tour guide: Welcome to Plaguex, a division of Plagusco and a part of the Geneva Group. Sylvanas: This is it! Velonara: Wow! Sylvanas: Wow! Vereesa: We know that you, as a banshee, have worked your whole unlife to get to the point where you can work for your whole unlife. Plague begins when our valiant apothecary cucks bring the slime to the Undercity. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive green glow you know as... Everyone: Plague! Velonara: That girl was hot. Sylvanas: She’s my sister! Velonara: Really? Sylvanas: Yes, we’re all sisters. Velonara: Right, you’re right. Vereesa: At Plaguex, we also constantly strive to improve every aspect of banshee existence. These banshees are stress-testing a new hood technology. Velonara: Ooh what do you think she makes? Sylvanas: Not enough. Vereesa: And here we have our latest advancement, the Krelmann! Sylvanas: Wow, what does that do? Vereesa: Catches that little strand of plague that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Velonara: Uh, uh, can anyone work on the Krelmann? Vereesa: Of course. Most banshee jobs are small ones. But banshees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job that you pick for the rest of your unlife. Sylvanas: The same job for the rest of your unlife? I didn’t know that. Velonara: What’s the difference? Sylvanas: Huh? Vereesa: And you'll be happy to know that banshees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. Wooh! Sylvanas: So you’ll just work us to true death? Vereesa: We’ll sure try! Everyone: *Laughs, which quickly descends into banshee screams* Velonara: Wow! That blew my mind? Sylvanas: "What's the difference?" Velonara, how could you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. Velonara: Well, I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. Sylvanas: But how could they never have told us that? Velonara: Sylvanas, why would you question anything? We're banshees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Azeroth. Sylvanas: Yeah, but Velonara, you ever think maybe things work a little too well around here? Velonara: Like what? Give me one example. Sylvanas: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Announcer: Please clear the gate. Royal Apothecary Society on approach. Royal Apothecary Society on approach. Sylvanas: Wait a second. Check it out. Hey, those are apothecary cucks! Velonara: Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. Sylvanas: They know what it’s like outside the Undercity. Velonara: Yeah, but some of them don't come back. Really roided up apothecary: You guys did great! You're monsters! You're surface freaks! I love it! I love it! Sylvanas: I wonder where those guys have just been. Velonara: I don’t know. Sylvanas: Their day's not planned. Outside the Undercity, running around who knows where, doing who knows what. Velonara: You can't just decide one day to be an Apothecary Cuck. You have to be bred for that. Sylvanas: Right. Sylvanas: Look at that. That's more slime than you and I will ever see in a lifetime. Velonara: It's just a status symbol. I think banshees make too big a deal out of it. Sylvanas: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Ladies in the distance: *Banshee scream* Velonara: Those ladies? Aren't they our sisters too? Sylvanas: Distant. Distant. Lilian Voss: Look at these two. Lilian with a player 2 color scheme: A couple of City Sallies. Lilian 1: Let’s have some fun with them. Lady: It must be so dangerous being an apothecary cuck. Sylvanas: Oh, yeah. One time a worgen had me pinned up against a mushroom! He had one paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me back and forth across the face! Lady: Oh my! Sylvanas: I never thought I’d knock him out! Lady, to Velonara: And what were you doing during all this? Velonara: Obviously, I was trying to alert the authorities. Sylvanas: I can autograph that if you want. Lilian: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Sylvanas: Yeah. Gusty. Lilian: Yeah, we're gonna hit a sunflower patch about six miles from here tomorrow. Sylvanas: Six miles, huh? Velonara: Sylvanas! Sylvanas: It's a puddle jump for us, but, uh, maybe you're not up for it. Sylvanas: Maybe I am! Velonara: You are not. Lilian: We're going 0900 at the northern elevator. Velonara: Woah! Lilian: What do you think, screamer? Are you banshee enough? Sylvanas: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. *Later* Sylvanas: *Watches city from balcony* Lireesa 2: Hey, Plaguex! Sylvanas: Oh! Mom. You surprised me. Lireesa: Have you decided what you're interested in, comrade? Sylvanas: Well there’s a lot of choices. Lireesa: But you only get one. Sylvanas: Mom, do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Lireesa: Comrade, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. Sylvanas: You know, mom, the more I think about it, the more I realize the plague field just isn’t right for me. Lireesa: And you were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a girl with tendrils. Sylvanas: Well, no... Lireesa: Lireesa! Your comrade’s not sure she wants to go into plague! Lireesa 1: Oh Sylvanas, you are so funny sometimes! Sylvanas: I’m not trying to be funny. Lireesa 2: You're not funny! You're going into plague. Our comrade, the stirrer! Lireesa 1: You're gonna be a stirrer? Lireesa 2: Wait til you see the sticks I have for you! Sylvanas: I could say anything right now. Sylvanas: I’m gonna get an Alliance tattoo! Lireesa 1: Oh, let's open some fresh plague and celebrate! Sylvanas: Maybe I’ll pierce my tongue. Lireesa 2: To plague! Sylvanas: Shave my head. Lireesa 1: So funny. Sylvanas: Shack up with a gnome. Get a gold tooth and start call everybody "dawg"! Lireesa 2: I’m so proud. *The next day* Velonara: I can't believe we're starting work today! Sylvanas: Today’s the day. Velonara: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Sylvanas: Yeah. Right. Nathanos the normal human: Slime counting, stunt banshee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... Alina: Is it still available? Nathanos: Hang on. Two left! And ... one of them's yours! Congratulations! son, Step to the side, please. Alina: Yeah! Velonara: What’d you get? Alina: Picking the bones out! Velonara: Woah. Alina: That is stellar! Velonara: Wow! Nathanos: Couple of newbies? Velonara: Yes, sir! Our first day! And we are ready! Nathanos: Well, step up and make your choice. Velonara: Do you wanna go first? Sylvanas: Uh, no, you go. Velonara: Oh, my. What's available? Nathanos: Restroom attendant’s always taken, by me. Velonara: Any chance of getting on to the Krelmann, sir? Nathanos: Sure, you're on. Nathanos: Oh, I'm sorry, the Krelmann just closed out. Velonara: Oh. Nathanos: Wax monkey's always open. And the Krelmann just opened up again. Velonara: What happened? Nathanos: Well, whenever a banshee dies, that's an opening. See that? She's dead, dead, another dead one, deady, deadified, two more dead. Dead from the neck up, dead from the neck down. But, that's unlife! Velonara: Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, antenna ball polisher, mite wrangler.... Sylvanas, what do you think I should... Sylvanas? Sylvanas! Lilian with a player 3 color scheme: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine. Geranium window box on outside the Scarlet Monastery... Val’kyr: *Vibrates* Sylvanas: *Slaps its ass* Velonara: What happened to you? Where are you? Sylvanas: I’m going out. Velonara: Out? Out where? Sylvanas: Out there! Velonara: Oh no. Sylvanas: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. Velonara: You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Sylvanas: Oh, another call coming in. Sylvanas: *Slaps val’kyr’s ass* Lilian 3: If anyone's feeling brave, there’s a Worgen outpost that gets some roses today. Sylvanas: Hey, guys. Lilian 1: Well look at that. Lilian 3: Hold it, comrade. Elevator’s restricted. Lilian 2: It's okay, Lilian. We're gonna take her up. Lilian with a player 4 color scheme: Yeah. Lilian 3: Really. Feeling lucky, are you? Crew banshee: Sign here, here. Just initial that. Thank you. Lilian 3: Okay, you got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, forsaken cannot run around in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being thrown at us. Lilian's in a home because of it, just babbling like a goblin! Sylvanas: That’s awful. Lilian 3: And a reminder for you rookies, forsaken law number one, absolutely no talking to the living! All right, positions! *Everyone just, goes to stand on the elevator* Lilian 1: You ready for this, hot shot? Sylvanas: Yeah, yeah. Bring it on. Varok: YOU HAVE NO HONOR!!!!!!!!!!!! Varok: *Runs in and smashes up the movie set* Sylvanas: Oh for the love of... Great everyone, Undercity’s first ever movie production, and this happens! Sylvanas: I’ll be in my trailer. Varok, in the background: HONOR!!!!!! *smashes more stuff* Sylvanas: I should’ve stayed a night elf.

#read the ending #if nothing else #happy april fools #source: bee movie #sylvanas windrunner #dark ranger velonara #vereesa windrunner #lireesa windrunner #lilian voss #Nathanos Blightcaller #varok saurfang

47 notes · View notes

darkarfs · 4 years

Photo

Lately I find myself reaching springtime levels of despair (not that the intervening months were any joyride), and I was trying to figure out why, considering that we’re heading into what seems to be the home stretch before a vaccine, we’re learning more and more about the virus and how to combat it each day, and I, my family, and most of my friends have the privilege of being able to stay home and stay safe, and I think it’s that I’ve finally accepted, as Saeed Jones said on Twitter regarding this photo, that we have been utterly abandoned.

In the spring, things were obviously terrifying and uncertain, and while I never expected anyone to be able to handle this perfectly, the extent to which things immediately went tits-up (despite having China and Italy as a warning, and— as we learned earlier this year— vastly prior knowledge of the impending crisis compared to the public) was shocking.

And I’m not a naïve fool— I’m no fan of our government, or its slavish devotion to the deathtrap of capitalism and how that informs every policy they make, so this isn’t disillusionment (that happened a long time ago, though I entertain hope at weird, desperate times), and I figured whatever care, resources, and goodwill the government (particularly the GOP) provided would mainly be in the service of optics, but I figured we’d get it. if nothing else, they couldn’t risk losing support for re-election (whether through disappointment or, uh, dead constituents). If nothing else, it looks VERY BAD to just let people die en masse when they don’t have to! I thought we could agree on that. If nothing else.

Then I figured, no, okay, the original onset was mishandled to a darkly comic degree, but now we know more about what we’re dealing with. The pandemic experts have laid out a timeline that gives us a bit of (relative) breathing room to prepare with what could potentially be a devastating fall and winter, but since we have half a year before we get to that point, surely we will have things well under control by then. We have more than enough resources to do so — this is not a shortage problem, at least not now — and we know the government can act very quickly when it wants to, like when it wants to pass a shitty law or confirm a supremely awful justice (pun intended, let me have this). I figured, okay, by providing for and protecting citizens, Trump looks like a hero, gets an ego boost, and will have an easy path to re-election (which of course bought along its own set of anxieties), so of course he’ll do it. and even if he doesn’t, surely there is at least ONE reasonable adult, ONE semi-human with a kernel or two of empathy in the White House who, if nothing else, realizes that continuing to mishandle (or simply refuse to handle) this is going to tank Trump’s 2020 chances.

But uh, no, here we are, with all this knowledge and all these examples of other countries who’ve managed to do so, so much better than we have, often with much less, and we’ve had to resign ourselves to another parade of death, to brimming ICUs and mass graves and constant ambulance sirens. (I live 5 houses away from a fire station/ambulance station. Minimum 3 a day.) This isn’t even touching on the anti-sciencers, the willing vectors, the defiant partiers, the staggering number of ‘regular’ people for whom 1% of a very large number of people dead is ‘acceptable collateral damage,’ the equally staggering number of people too selfish to make a laughably small sacrifice (one--ONE-- motherfucking Thanksgiving dinner, out of all the years you’ll get to have a motherfucking Thanksgiving dinner, you motherfucker, I’ve worked every Christmas and Thanksgiving since 2008, and every Eve and the Day After, you fuck), etc.

Just realized this was a lot of spiraling despair without a hopeful note to end on (though in a post all about my embracing hopelessness with odd spots of insane, clutching hope; I’m guessing that didn’t surprise anyone), but I will say that I have been incredibly heartened and impressed by my fellow citizens (most of y’all, anyway) and their willingness to help out, to reach out, to try to ease the burdens of others, to convert and utilize their skills – whatever they may be – to make things better for other people. Often unasked, often with no benefit if not some hindrance to them, and just – often. So I guess the message is that government sucks and community-minded organization is the way to go. Which we all knew anyway.

#long post #tw: death

11 notes · View notes

strawberrysoup · 5 years

Text

Let’s Review || Chapter 2

Peter Parker knew that his big sister would do anything for him to be safe and happy. She’d given up everything for him twice over already and would do it again in a heartbeat. And that’s why, when the criminal mastermind Tony Stark started inextricably following him around, he didn’t say a word. Because he knew without a doubt Penny would do whatever she had to if it meant keeping Peter safe. He had to protect her, just like she always protected him. He never considered what would happen if Stark decided both Parker siblings were worth taking. Never considered who else in Stark’s inner circle would agree. He just wanted to protect her and yet somehow, they both ended up with needles in their necks.

relationship: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character/Bucky Barnes, background Peter Parker/Tony Stark rating: Explicit warnings: Dark Steve Rogers, Dark Bucky Barnes, Dark Tony Stark, Dark Avengers, kidnapping, non-con/dub-con elements, underage Peter Parker, emotional and psychological abuse, very dark, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

Penny Parker worked, on average, 108 hours a week between three jobs to make ends meet for herself and Peter. His high school, a stupidly expensive private science academy, sucked the majority of her income up each month despite a scholarship. Rent was $1,200 a month, not including utilities. Peter ate like a quintessential teenage boy, which meant a pound of cereal every morning before school and the equivalent in the evenings when he got home from his clubs.

She didn’t sleep much and only had one rotating day off each week. After learning of Peter’s situation with Tony Stark, she slept even less and spent her days off doing any and all research she could into the man and her options for getting Peter away from him. By the time a month had passed since the revelation that her baby brother was being stalked by a super powerful, criminal mastermind pedophile piece of shit, Penny was a wreck of a human being. Even Peter, who was understandably wrapped up in his own head most of the month, had noticed the bags under his sister’s eyes and the harried look she carried about her at all times.

They joked that Penny had taken every bit of chaos from her parents combined genes, somehow managing to leave behind every ounce of intelligence for Peter. She was a walking, talking disaster on the best of days. He’d seen her stick a fork in a toaster, try to mix bleach and vinegar, hell one time she’d come home from work with a sprained wrist because she’d fallen off a ladder stocking some shelves despite the fact someone had been actively holding the ladder to spot her. But this was an entirely new level of disarray from his sister.

Peter could tell that she wasn’t coming up with any solutions that she was happy with. Despite their inside jokes, Penny had a weird sort of intuitive intelligence. She couldn’t do basic math in her head and forget anything to do with science, hell basic reading comprehension could be a trial at times.

What she knew was that Tony Stark had every police department in New York on his payroll, despite the act they put on that “they were doing everything in their power” to gather evidence on the 87 open investigations into him and his company. She knew that he had several politicians under the same thumb, not because it was public knowledge, but because somehow every bill that was put to vote that could be useful to Tony Stark passed into law (or however that sort of thing worked—Penny didn’t understand bills and laws and the senate or whatever, but who really did?).

She knew that the surrounding states were similarly within his range of power. That his companies’ holdings in California meant he had too much control there too. He had holdings in Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico as well. It wasn’t public knowledge, but Penny could read between the lines when things seemed too good to be true. Or, too good to be true for one Tony Stark. Everything aligned in a way that was so suspicious, she couldn’t figure out why the FBI or CIA or NSA weren’t on to him too.

In the end, all it meant was that nothing Penny did would really matter in the long run. Tony Stark was infinitely powerful in a multitude of states, rich and influential in a way that one person shouldn’t ever have the ability to be. And Penny Parker had $3,000 to her name and a shitty apartment and an even shittier car. Compared to Tony Stark, she wasn’t even good enough to be dirt.

It meant that she had to be more creative. Penny wasn’t smart, but thinking outside of the usually accepted parameters was kind of her specialty. There was no good way to get Peter away from Tony’s sphere of influence, but there were some ways. Maybe just a single way. A very unpleasant, single way that would rip her heart to shreds. But Penny had decided as a 13 year old that she would do everything she could to keep Peter safe and happy and fuck if she was willing to stop now.

***

“Are you still stalking the webcam feed?” Tony wondered if it was possible to push anymore exasperation into his voice as he walked into the main living room only to find Clint once again watching Peter’s empty apartment on the massive TV.

“Something might happen,” it was the same defense the assassin always used when caught in the act, but Tony knew that the blond actually just wanted to catch a glimpse of Penelope Parker.

In all fairness, even Tony could admit that the young woman was rather beautiful. Where Peter’s skin was milky white and freckled, Penelope had a tan that betrayed her father’s Israeli heritage. She was shorter than Peter, held more weight than her lanky but growing brother. Her hair was long and held a natural wave, the same colour as Peter’s. They had the same eye colour as well, but Penelope’s were more narrow and slanted. It wasn’t Tony’s cup of tea, but he could objectively understand the appeal.

In all honestly, Penelope Parker wasn’t his cup of tea as a person. Every time her name popped into his head, he felt a seething rage begin to build in his chest. Penelope fucking Parker, responsible enough to be deemed guardian of the most precious boy in New York but not responsible enough to actually take care of him.

Back when he thought Peter lived alone off his meager inheritance, the living situation had bothered Tony but not enraged him. After all, sure a teenage boy would be fine living in a shit hole if it fit his budget. But no, his sister was the one who made him live in that rat’s nest. His sister, who worked so often it left poor Peter neglected and alone, was the reason he had to walk through dangerous streets to get home at night. His sister.

His fucking sister.

No wonder Peter hadn’t told him he had a sister. She was probably a fucking monster, as selfish and miserable as the goddamn evil stepsister from Cinderella.

He’d caught enough glimpses of Penelope Goddamn Parker in the last month to last him a life time. She and Peter hardly interacted where the webcam could pick up, although sometimes they caught snippets of audio. Mostly, they witnessed just how addicted to the internet she was. She spent more time on her fucking laptop than she did talking to her own brother.

It drove Tony insane, knowing that the longer he left Peter in her care, the more neglected he would be. His baby boy was trapped in an apartment with an uncaring bitch who spent 90% of her time working and the other 10% ignoring him for whatever bullshit Instagram, Facebook nonsense she was so obsessed with. Tony didn’t even bother keeping a record of her internet history, after the first two days of monitoring had revealed she spent the entire time on Youtube.

“Yeah? And has anything happened in the last, oh, 6 hours since she left for work?”

“No but she should be getting home soon—” Clint winced, having walked directly into the trap Tony set like a dumbass.

“Stop watching the bitch on my TV, all you do is stare down her fucking shirt anyway.”

“The bitch would make a pretty decent lay if you’d give a guy a break.”

Tony Stark did not roll his eyes. Tony Stark was a genius, ran a weapons engineering empire, had the most important politicians in the United States in his back pocket. Tony Stark did not roll his eyes.

So Tony Stark Did Not Roll His Eyes at the blond parked out on his couch with a bowl of popcorn and a beer. No doubt there was a cheap ass pizza on it’s way up the elevator, despite the fact Tony employed some of the best chefs in New York for his private kitchen. Clint Barton was the worst sort of best friend Tony had, but he’d still kill for the dumbass.

“What has Penelope Goddamn Motherfucking Parker done now?” Sam Wilson questioned absently as he walked into the living room from the kitchen, quoting Tony’s general tone of voice when talking about the woman.

“She hasn’t even taken her shirt off where I can see it, can you believe that? Fucking ridiculous. With a rack like that she should be shaking her tits on camera for money daily,” Clint whined in response, gesturing to the empty room on the TV, “I swear she sleeps on that fucking couch almost every night and not once has she undressed in front of the computer.”

“You’re a freak, my dude,” Sam smacked the blond upside the head as he walked past towards the elevator, “Time table still on track, Stark?”

“Steady as she goes,” Tony replied, pulling his phone out of his back pocket, “Where are you going? Movie night starts in 20 minutes?”

Movie night was almost the most ridiculous thing Tony participated in on any given day. His inner circle was made up of the only people in the world he trusted, was made of up assassins and ex-military super soldiers and all sorts of genetically altered freaks, and somehow movie night had become a staple of their existence. To miss a movie night without a doctor’s note or a mission was a crime punishable by near exile in the form of a group silent treatment. Pepper, Happy and Pietro were currently exempt, away on a business trip as executive, body guard, and assistant.

“Just going to change,” Wilson gestured to his workout clothes and shrugged, “need to shower.”

“Now if only we could make you realize that needs to happen more than once a month,” Clint muttered quietly, only to have a dirty shoe nail him in the face a moment later.

The blond fell off the couch with a shout, popcorn flying everywhere as the bowl escaped his grip. Sam, who’s aim was almost as impeccable as Clint’s own, gave the man the finger as the elevator doors closed dramatically.

“You are a disaster of a human being,” Tony commented absently, still watching his phone as the little dot that was his baby boy moved through the city.

He ignored Clint’s protests, flopping onto the couch and making himself comfortable while the rest of the tower’s residents slowly ambled into the communal living room. Bucky and Steve were parked out on the recliner, disgustingly cute and cuddly even from a distance. They, like Clint, had a stupid fascination with fucking Penelope and were watching the webcam feed while they waited for everyone to arrive.

Natasha and Wanda wandered in while chatting, each already having a drink in their hand. Thor, Loki and Bruce all came out of the elevator at the same time, Bruce having come from the labs and the two brothers from the coffee shop on the ground floor of the tower. Sam and Rhodey entered at the same time from the stairwell, both having freshly showered after a long day.

“What are we watching tonight?”

The following argument generally lasted a solid 20 minutes, but Wanda and Natasha won out with a comedy horror they’d all already seen before. It left plenty of room for conversation while the movie played in the background, a deck of cards finding their way onto the coffee table as well.

“So what’s the plan for your boy’s sister, Tones?” Rhodey questioned as Sam dealt cards for their third game of poker of the night.

“I’m sure he’ll be ecstatic to get away from the bitch,” the man grumbled in response as he adjusted his hand, “He’d probably walk right out the front door and leave her in the dust if I asked. I figure I’ll give her an ultimatum: Peter comes with me and she shuts the fuck up, or Peter comes with me and she finds herself in a shallow grave.”

“I think I could draw her tits from memory from how often she’s on her computer and ignoring her brother,” Clint stated, because despite the fact he thought Penelope god awful Parker was hot as all Hell, he knew how much it hurt to have the person who was supposed to care for you most ignore you completely.

Rhodey hummed in agreement, “Maybe we should off her, just in case. I bet she gets some sort of welfare from the state for him and she shouldn’t get to keep raking that in.”

“She shouldn’t get it even while she’s got him,” Natasha stated from over her wine, spread out and lounging on the loveseat closest to the couch, “probably uses it for drugs. It definitely isn’t used for groceries to feed to the poor kid, he looks half starved.”

“Nah, that’s just teenage boy syndrome,” Bucky added a couple of bills to the pot on the coffee table, “Not that I think she’s winning any care taker of the year awards, but I’ve seen that him eat while doing surveillance. Kid could take down a whole ass McDonalds by himself if given the chance.”

“He’s been putting on some weight actually,” Tony felt the corners of his lips tip up in a small smirk, “Muscle mass, one of his friends started dragging him to lift weights on Thursdays.”

“Careful Stark, you get too excited by the thought and you’re gonna pop off in your jeans,” a round of snorts sounded at Rhodey’s words and Tony Stark, Who Did Not Roll His Eyes, gave his friend the finger.

“I say we just go ahead and kill her,” Bruce was focused more on his laptop and the reports there in than the movie, but made sure he always paid attention to the conversation during movie nights, “she’s a liability. It might help Peter adjust too, knowing that she’s gone.”

“And that he has nothing left and nothing to go back to,” Clint added, not mean spiritedly but pointedly and with an exaggerated head tilt.

“He won’t have anything left or anything to go back to,” it was pragmatic and a bit cold, but Steve never pulled his punches, “its best to cut all ties. The more he relies on Tony, the faster he’ll adapt to his new situation. Maybe its manipulative, but this is a weird situation and we might have to get our hands dirty to get him to a good place, mentally and physically.”

“By weird you mean kidnapping a kid?”

“For his own good!”

“Its only kidnapping until he turns eighteen, right?”

“I don’t think that’s how the concept of kidnapping works, Clint.”

“Excuse me, sir,” JARVIS suddenly interrupted, turning on the lights and turning off the movie, “I believe it is important that you watch the webcam footage I’ve been monitoring. The recording begins as of five minutes ago and is still ongoing.”

“Pull it up, J,” Tony ordered quickly, sitting forward on the couch.

Everyone in the room watched in confusion as the TV began to roll on Peter and stupid fucking Penelope sitting in front of the laptop, most likely at the kitchen table. Peter was slightly off to the side, the computer centered more on his sister.

“Penny, please just tell me what you’ve decided on? I’ve been watching you lose your mind for weeks, I know you came up with something last night.”

“You’re… not going to like it Peter,” fucking Penelope’s voice was soft, the laptop microphone too shitty to pick up the quiet cadence well, “If you can think of something better, we’ll go with that. But… I don’t think there’s another choice. I’ve gone through everything I can think of. Try to let me get through this without yelling at me, okay?”

They’d never really seen Peter and fucking Penelope interact before. Most of the time it was just her, on the laptop, all the fucking time. Peter came and went in the background, to and from school and clubs and his friend’s houses, but most of the time she closed the laptop when he was around. They were all a bit surprised by how much affection was in her expression as she looked at her brother. Peter nodded at her, lips already pursed in frustration.

“I’ve been doing as much research as I can on Tony Stark. He’s… God, he’s got more influence than the fucking president. There are entire states in his pocket, Pete. Can you believe that? From what I can figure out, he’s got just about every New York senator on his payroll and don’t even get me started on the police—”

“How’d she figure that out?” Rhodey’s frown was a mixture of concern and irritation, “There’s never been any sort of reporting on your dealings with politicians.”

“I don’t know.”

“The good news is, I don’t think he has any business in Oregon. I’ve looked through as much of the gossip as I can, he’s never spent any significant amount of time there and if I’ve been understanding the weird ass insinuations correctly, his businesses don’t operate in the area.”

“Oregon? Are we gonna go there?” Peter reached out and grabbed his sister’s hands, “I promise, I’m not upset over us having to move Penny, I—”

“Peter, I’m… I’m not moving babe, you are.”

The teenager seemed to draw back slightly, his eyebrows furrowing and his mouth dropping open as he searched for words but was unable to come up with any.

“I don’t think you remember them, the last time we saw them was before mom and dad died, but we have second cousins in Oregon, Paul and Olivia. They’re about ten years older than me, with one kid. When I got custody of you, I contacted them. I wanted to make sure that if something happened to me, I had a sure thing lined up for you. It was years ago, but they promised they’d take you in a heartbeat if I couldn’t care for you anymore, for any reason.”

“You… you wanted to give me to them?” Peter’s eyes were full of tears and they watched as Penelope reacted in horror.

“Peter, no! Never! I would never willingly let you go. I was worried, everyone around us was dropping like flies in freak accidents and I couldn’t let you go into foster care if I died. I just wanted to make sure you would have someone if something happened to me.”

“You thought you were gonna die?”

“My birth father died, and then mom and dad died, then uncle Ben, then aunt May. I didn’t want to leave you alone with no one. I didn’t think I was gonna die, I just… wanted to be prepared. Just in case.”

“Why are you bringing them up? And Oregon? What do you mean that I’m moving? Alone?”

Penelope What the Fuck is Happening Parker’s lips pursed, eyes filling with tears. There was a level of sheer pain on her face that was startling for them all to see, especially considering they’d managed to work her up as an unfeeling monster in their heads for fucking weeks now.

“I’ve tried a thousand ways for us both to go, but I just… I don’t have the money saved for us to move. We’d have to break the lease and even if we left with the clothes on our backs, we wouldn’t be able to afford getting to Oregon. The car won’t make it, I can’t afford plane tickets. I wouldn’t be able to afford to get to Oregon. But I’ve figured out a way to get you there.”

“How Penny?” Peter’s was obviously trying to sound stern, but his voice cracked slightly.

“Not tomorrow, but the day after, we’re going to put in an anonymous call to Child Protective Services and claim that I’m abusing you. Neglecting you. They’ll take you out of my custody and send you to Olivia and Paul, since they’re our ‘closest’ living relatives.” Penelope Oh Fuck Parker’s voice was cracking too, tears running down her face as she explained her batshit crazy plan to her baby brother, who they were quickly realizing was far from neglected or abused.

Tony felt his chest tightening at the sight of the siblings, both with tears streaming down their cheeks. He wasn’t sure how he’d managed to get it so incredibly wrong. Maybe he’d seen what he wanted to see, that his baby boy was easy pickings. That no one really cared for him so it would be easy to sweep him off his feet and spirit him away.

“You’ve never abused me! You’ve never neglected me! How could you even say that, Penny!? Everything you’ve ever done—”

“Peter please, listen,” Penny was nearly sobbing, grasping Peter’s hands tightly with her entire body angled downwards over them, “We have to pretend, okay? We have to pretend because they’ll send you somewhere safe.”

“You’ll go to jail!”

“That’s fine! That’s okay, Peter! As long as you’re safe, I don’t care—”

“You can’t ask me to do this, you can’t ask me to send you to jail, to send you away when you haven’t done anything wrong, ever! I wouldn’t even be able to visit you! I’d be a million miles away and you’d be rotting away in jail because I was too stupid to mind my own business!”

“Peter none of this is your fault,” the tone was so stern and determined as Penny sat straighter in her chair, squeezing her brother’s hands reassuringly even as her chest heaved with grief, “it’s that fucking pedophile, piece of shit Tony Goddamn Stark’s fault, don’t you ever think that you are at all to blame for any of this—”

“I probably deserve at least half of that rage,” Tony stated absently, almost guilty at the word ‘pedophile’.

“Half? Hah!” It was an absent response, more instinct than intention but got the point across even as the entire group was absorbed by the pain playing out on the TV.

“I went to that stupid tower!” Peter wailed suddenly, making Penny go stiff, “After you got that note telling you not to report the assault, I went to the tower because I knew he worked there and I wanted him to suffer. You wouldn’t go to the police because they threatened your family but I thought… It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I was stupid and I went to fucking Stark Tower and that’s where he saw me. It’s all my fault.” Peter’s sobbing was viscerally painful to hear, even through the shitty microphone.

“What assault? A note? JARVIS, figure out what he’s talking about!” Tony barked, already on his feet and pulling out his phone, “Give me the surveillance footage from that day, who was my boy here looking for?!”

“As the conversation is roughly five minutes delayed, I took the liberty of deciphering Mr. Parker’s statements already, sir,” the AI stated calmly, “six months ago, Mr. Brock Rumlow of level six security sexually assaulted Ms. Penelope Parker in a club in Queens. In order to prevent any bad press upon the company, a persuasive letter was sent from the Tower’s security to Ms. Parker to ensure her silence on the matter. I assume the day you came across Mr. Parker was the day he arrived to confront Mr. Rumlow over the assault and threat.”

“Find him,” Tony snarled towards Rhodey, who was already on his feet and typing away at his phone, heading towards the elevator, “Alive, Rhodey!”

“I’ll see what I can manage,” the man muttered darkly as the doors shut and he began descending towards level six, leaving the rest of them in the living room.

“He… he saw you… there? Oh, god… Oh god he saw you because you went to the tower, oh my God you went there because of me and he saw you— Oh my God!” Penny’s reaction was so emotionally brutal that it verged on physically violent. Her entire body seemed to lock up for a solid thirty seconds before she threw herself out of the chair and they could hear retching in the background a moment later. Peter was still sitting on the far side of the screen, sobbing into his hands.

Almost five minutes later, Penny ambled back into view. Her face was so pale compared to her usually tan complexion that she looked like a ghost. A fine tremble ran through her entire body, goosebumps visible on her exposed arms.

“I’m so sorry,” Peter’s voice broke through his sobs, bone achingly sad, “I’m so sorry I did this to us.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, bud,” Penny’s eyes were almost blank, the pain so overwhelming that she couldn’t force any other expression, “I set all of this in motion. I made a mistake and I’m so sorry you’re having to pay for it. I should’ve protected you better, you never should’ve even known what happened, let alone who— it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. Everything is going to be okay Peter. We have a plan and everything is going to be alright.”

“You’re going to go to jail, Penny! For a horrible crime that you’d never, ever commit! Because I was stupid and immature and—”

“Stop Peter,” Tony’s eyes watered as Penny gently ran her fingers through Peter’s hair and left it to rest on his cheek, “don’t blame yourself for this. No matter what you did, no matter what choices you made, you didn’t deserve to be frightened and stalked. What’s happening is happening because there’s a man out there with a sick mind, who thinks he can take whatever and whoever he wants for whatever he wants. That’s not on you, babe. That’s on him. And everyone who built him up and let him get to this point.”

She let Peter cry for several minutes and the group in the living room found themselves left to digest the situation to the sound of his sobs. Discomfort ran through all of them, for different reasons. Because they’d judged Penelope Too Good for This World Parker so wrong. Because they were the ones enabling Tony to do something terrible. Because they didn’t actually feel guilty for enabling Tony but they did feel guilty for the pain it was causing the Parker siblings.

“You’ll take such good care of him, Tony,” Natasha said quietly after a moment, seeing the pain in the man’s face, “He’s never going to want for anything ever again. He’s going to live in comfort and luxury for the rest of his life and that’s because of you.”

“He’s scared right now, Tones,” Clint jumped in quickly when it looked like Tony might protest, “They both are and we can’t blame them for that. But once they’re—he’s here, he’ll realize that it’s not a bad thing and that he has nothing to be afraid of. That we’re going to take care of them—him, all of us.”

Mind running at a million times per hour, Tony considered their words. Actually, he considered Clint’s words. Clint’s misspoken statements that implied both Parker siblings would be in the tower. Both of them would be safe and cared for. Both.

“They’ll never want for anything ever again,” Tony repeated quietly, all eyes in the room locked carefully on him, “Peter and Penny shouldn’t be separated.”

“You’ve given up everything for me, Penny,” Peter whispered after his cries calmed, “You dropped out of high school, dropped out of college, started working three jobs so I could go to that stupid school, you don’t sleep, you hardly eat, and I know it’s all for me. I can’t let you give up your freedom, I can’t let you give up anything else for me.”

“Oh my God no wonder she’s so skinny,” Wanda suddenly gasped, tears pouring down her cheeks in continuous rivers, “we thought Peter was skinny, but look at her, look at her collar bones! JARVIS, give me a record of all credit and debit card transactions she’s made in the last month and—” The redhead cut herself off when Penny began speaking again.

“All I want is for you to be happy Peter,” Penny whispered, the blank look in her eyes fading into grief again, “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. You’re everything to me, you’re my baby brother. I’ll do anything to keep you safe, bud, anything.”

“I won’t do it, Penny, I won’t—”

“Yes, you will, Peter,” resolve hardened Penny’s voice and she squeezed her brother’s hands, “You’re going to do as I say. Tomorrow you’re going to go to school and I’m going to call out of work. I’m going to throw most of your clothes away, all of the food in the house. I’m going to switch my stuff for yours, so it looks like I make you sleep on the couch while I take the bedroom.”

“Oh God she does sleep on the couch every night,” Professional Perfect Person Penelope Parker Stalker Clint Barton gasped in horror as he recalled his earlier comment on her sleeping habits and her undressing habits oh no.

“I’m going to trash the place as authentically as I can and I’m… God I’m going to destroy some of your stuff, Pete,” Penny looked pained at the thought, scraping a hand down her face, “But I’m going to transfer all of my savings into your name, so you’ll only be without your stuff for a little while. You can rebuy everything you need once this is over.”

“I can’t take your money, Pen—”

“Hush Peter. I don’t have much saved up, but I’ll put it under your name tomorrow. Now, when I turn 25 in a few months I’ll be able to use my portion of the money mom and dad left us. I’m going to transfer that to you as soon as I can, it should be enough for you to live off of once you turn 18 as long as you use it wisely.”

“Penny, please, you can’t expect—”

“I expect you to do as I say, Peter!” She cut him off with all the flare of a bossy big sister, “I want you to apply to universities outside of the United States. Focus on places like Norway, Australia and New Zealand. Avoid Mexico, Canada and the UK because I think he has business dealings in those countries and I don’t know how long he’ll be willing to search for you, so don’t risk it.”

“How does she know about our business in those places?” Tony threw his hands up in confusion.

“Sir, from what I can gather from Ms. Parker’s search history, she has done her best to track yours and your staff’s movements around the world for the last five or so years by means of social media and gossip blogs—”

“Well holy fuck, who would’ve thought to do that?” Sam’s eyebrows were raised nearly to his hairline, “that’s ridiculous, no wonder she was on the laptop constantly.”

“Once you turn 25 you’ll come into your inheritance too. By that time I’ll probably be out of jail but… Peter I want you to leave me alone, okay? We don’t know… we don’t know if Stark will let this go, if he loses you. He might use my location and contacts to find you and I can’t let that happen.”

“You want me to just cut you out of my life forever? Like you’re some horrible monster I never want to see again? I can’t—”

“We don’t have a choice bud,” Penny was quiet, soothing as she ran her fingers over his wrists and hands, “Tony Stark is a dangerous man and he has more connections and money than we could ever hope to fight. The police won’t help us, the law won’t help us. All we have is this plan and I need you to follow it. I need to be able to trust that you’ll follow the plan, so that you’ll be safe.”

“What about you, Penny!? You won’t be safe! You’re always so worried about, about me being safe and happy that you forget about yourself! Do you understand that you’re telling me you want to go to jail? That you want me to abandon you forever?”

Penny seemed to waiver for just a second, as if she might actually let some tiny ounce of selfishness set in and change her mind, before her resolve hardened once again and she stood, putting herself nearly out of frame, “This is happening, Peter. This is the plan. This is what we’re doing. Because I won’t let him hurt you. I will literally do anything to keep you safe Peter, this doesn’t even make a wave in the pool of batshit crazy I’m willing to go if I need to. I love you. Now go to bed, you have school in the morning.”

#steve rogers x oc x bucky barnes #steve rogers x oc #bucky barnes x oc #dark!steve rogers #dark!bucky barnes #dark!tony stark #dark!mcu #let's review #let's review chapter 2

209 notes · View notes