#anyways ruki more blood best route

[ruki--mukami]

I read your post about Ruki's redemption being difficult to write. I wanted to ask how do you see his canon redemption arc, especially in MB. The afterstory really threw me off because it seemed so abrupt.

I mean in the sense that it looked as if Yui's suffering had no meaning whatsoever. The transition from hateful to caring was never shown [Eternal blood took the same stance, an already caring Ruki from Track 1]

That's why i wanted to ask your views on the canon redemption arc and his development, whether they really were given justice or not.

🧩 Hello, Anon. Thank you for the very intriguing ask. In fact, it compelled me to even re-read his More, Blood route, which admittedly isn’t something I do often at all. If anything, I read his Dark Fate route the most because I find his characterization in that route in particular very heartwarming compared to the others. Anyway, his More, Blood route is pretty much what I remembered from the last time I read it, and suffice it to say it actually made me feel pretty good about my portrayal of him because I’d like to think I’m not making him act more sadistic than he really is, which was quite reassuring to say the least. Immediately when he meets Yui, he already threatens to kill her, and throughout the route he is constantly hating on humanity and dismissing the idea of love altogether, which makes one question how Yui can even develop romantic feelings for him in the first place.

Now, just as a disclaimer, I haven’t read very many other DL routes outside of Ruki’s. I’ve read all of Ruki’s content, but I’ve only read Ayato’s HDB and MB routes, as well as Shu’s DF route, so I cannot speak in general for the formula the franchise tends to opt for, but from what I’ve noticed… Love tends to be developed out of Stockholm Syndrome (when victims cope with their imprisonment by bonding with the captor). All throughout Ruki’s MB route, Yui is getting tortured, bitten, degraded, and psychologically manipulated in every single chapter. There is very little letup from him, minus the few times he decides to free her from the dungeon or stops his punishment midway (i.e., opting not to put her in a collar and chains, saying he’s merciful for not ending her life, etc.) but he does have his moments of “kindness” which is probably giving him more credit than I should since I’m biased and I love him.

For instance, there is a scene at school where Yui begins to feel sick from the lack of blood. Ruki then takes her to the infirmary, and what’s special about this moment is that she is so shocked he would even help her get there in the first place. Another scene is when she is swimming to retrieve Azusa’s knife, but he dives in and saves her despite all that he has done. Now, I’m not saying these are reasons to forgive what he has done by any means, but that’s just the kind of protagonist Yui is in general. Not just with Ruki, but with everyone she meets, she often tries to see the absolute best in them and tends to disregard the abuse even if she is on the receiving end. After she sees the flashback of his past and is taken away by Ayato, Yui deems Ruki as a “kind person,” wishing she was back at the Mukami estate. Even before this, she has a little monologue to herself as she polishes the silverware (one of the very basic punishments he frequently assigns to her), wondering if she has genuinely taken a liking to living under Ruki’s rules and if she has accepted herself as livestock.

There is this phenomenon they will teach you about in psychology class called the Ben Franklin effect, and honestly, I’m not certain how strong of an effect it is or if it’s just a load of baloney, but basically it asserts that if you carry out a favor for someone, your brain begins to rationalize that you must be doing it for them because you like them in order to prevent a cognitive dissonance from eating away at your sanity. After all, who wants to act benevolently for people they hate? I believe it’s possible Yui might’ve undergone this same effect under Ruki’s care. Constantly carrying out these chores, following his every order, and drilling it into her brain that his rules must be followed not only for her survival but also to avoid his brutal punishments. He certainly doesn’t make it easy, either. Even for the smallest mishap, Yui is always being ridiculed by him. Though, that isn’t to say his discipline is purely cruel. Ruki is known to be a very possessive man, much like the other DL boys. As he inflicts pain unfathomable on her, he litters in dialogue like “you belong only to me” and “it irritates me how those guys (the Sakamakis) treated you.” Those all imply he cares about Yui in a very, very twisted way, even if it’s as mere property.

It's for this reason that, whenever I roleplay as Ruki, I remind myself he is no knight in shining armor. Yes, he wants to protect Yui, and he wants to steal her away from the Sakamakis, her previous abusers. However, by no means does he want to spare her the punishment for those same reasons. In fact, nothing gets him off like seeing his prey suffer at his own hands. We all know that much. At the end of the day, he is a sadistic Vampire even if he was once human. He says this himself throughout his route as well, and even Yui comments on how much Ruki hates humans which seems to baffle her. What’s interesting about this dynamic, however, is how he comments to her “looking at you reminds me of myself,” given his past. So, yes, at least he is self-aware that he is taking her freedom away and reducing her to a human who might as well not be alive, since for Ruki, autonomy = aliveness.

So, in a corrupt sense, I do believe Yui’s suffering had meaning in Ruki’s route. Watching her suffer as much as she did probably gave Ruki a thrilling show indeed. Not only that, but over time he likens himself to her. He sees himself from his past in present day Yui, trapped, freedom stripped away, and branded like livestock. That much he can resonate with, and even when Yui comes back for him on the rooftop, he is shocked she would choose him after everything he did, saying that he would kill his own captors if he could. Which, if you ask me, is a much more realistic response than hers. But then again, that’s Stockholm Syndrome for you. Even if she wanted to appeal to Kou and the others, she could not because at every given opportunity for his brothers to intervene, Ruki put a stop to it immediately, making her reliant on the eldest for any means of survival.

This discussion also begs the question of what Ruki might’ve saw in Yui for him to suddenly care whether or not Ayato also loved her at the end of Ecstasy 10. I believe in their shared moments together, since he was able to sympathize in his own sadistic way, there was a bond that developed between them. One of mutual captivity. One that reminded him of his own humanity, whether he liked it or not.

Ah, sorry, this is getting off topic. I tend to let my thoughts ramble on subjects like this.

Anyway, I do think Ruki’s redemption arc was a bit abrupt and poorly executed, more so for people who selected his route out of mere curiosity rather than liking the character from the beginning. I can just imagine the people who chose his route “just because” being really confused by his actions. From abusing her every day, to caring whether Yui will be loved or not in the right hands, then finally betraying Karlheinz to elope with her in the after story. At the end it’s revealed he likens Yui to someone who taught him how to believe, trust, and love others again. And, this last point is more related to Dark Fate than More, Blood, but before their wedding it cuts to a screen of a vast, blue sky, and he says to himself something along the lines of “Finally… I’ve obtained it.” I don’t believe he was referring to the act of obtaining Eve, but rather the blue sky him and his brothers looked to when they tried to escape the orphanage together. Instead, he refers to the act of being free. Free of Karlheinz, free of debt, free of living for someone else’s sake. It’s the first time in any main story route that he has claimed something of his own free will, of his own volition, living entirely for no one but himself.

One might deem this as “selfish,” but to me, this life lesson hit immensely hard. Sorry to make it personal and about myself, but one reason why I will always love and cherish Ruki as my comfort character is because I think we both experienced similar hardships in life, albeit in the form of different obstacles. I know exactly what it’s like to live for someone else’s best interest rather than your own; I think we all know what that feels like. So, to finally free yourself of that burden… Nothing can be more liberating. All throughout both MB and DF, Ruki denies his true desires. He accepts the Adam and Eve plan as his will to repay his benefactor’s saving grace. However, I believe deep down he always wanted to find someone who will love him unconditionally, as much as he argues against it. Someone who will teach him what true freedom is, which is what Yui did for him. In the end, she came back to her abuser out of love, and contrarily, he wishes to love Yui not as Eve but for who she is. To do such a thing is not only betraying Karl, but also to live without caring what others may think. Which is an important lesson we all need to learn eventually. 

Yet at the same time, I know not every person is like Yui. Not every story will be arranged in such a way that Ruki will resonate with the person in captivity. Which is why I also try to develop romance/redemption through shared interests and the two muses overcoming a challenge together, if you look at my rp threads. 🧩

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Ruki Route ー Chapter 3

ー The scene starts in the bushes around Saint Nore Park

Ruki: Haah...Oi, Yui. Are you alright?

Yui: Y-Yeah...

Ruki: For now, I doubt they’ll easily be able to track us down right here.

Yui: Ruki-kun...I’m sorry.

Ruki: Why do you apologize?

Yui: Because all of this happened because I injured myself...

( He only just told me to stay on guard, so I’m sure he’s upset, huh...? )

I’m so sorry.

Ruki: ...Haah.

No need to apologize.

Show me your arm.

Yui: Eh? Sure...

*Rustle rustle*

Ruki: ...It’s bleeding.

Yui: Yeah...But it’s just a scratch. I’m sure the bleeding will stop soon.

So it’s fine.

Ruki: It isn’t, is it?

I’ll stop the bleeding for now. ...Don’t move, okay?

Nn...

Yui: ...!?

( He’s licking the wound... )

Ruki: Did I not just tell you to keep still? ...I guess this much won’t do.

Yui: Wait, Ruki-kun!

Ruki: Oi, don’t pull your arm away. I thought I told you not to move?

Yui: B-But you suddenly started licking me...!

Ruki: It isn’t sudden. Didn’t I say I’d stop the bleeding?

Yui: ( He did, but anyone would be surprised if someone suddenly did that...! )

Ruki: ...This has to be the first time drinking your blood makes me this upset.

Yui: Eh...?

Ruki: I’ll wrap some bandages around it, so keep the wound facing upwards. Tell me if it’s too tight.

Yui: O-Okay...

*Rustle rustle*

Ruki: ...This should do.

...

Yui: ( Ruki-kun went quiet. Is he upset after all...? )

Ruki: ...I’m the one who should apologize.

Yui: Eh...?

Ruki: I failed as your bodyguard...Seeing as I let you get hurt, even though I was right there by your side.

Yui: B-But...That wasn’t your fault just now...

Ruki: They thought you were a Vampire because I had you ingest that drug.

I did not think my own plan would come to backfire like that...

...My bad.

Yui: Ruki-kun...

Ruki: ...

Yui: ( He’s this worried about the fact I got hurt... )

( Even though it’s really no big deal. )

( I wonder how I can brighten his mood again...? )

ー Approaching footsteps can be heard in the background

Uhm...Ruki-kuーー

Ruki: ...! Quiet!

*Rustle*

Yui: Nn...!

( Somebody’s coming...! However, he didn’t have to cover my mouth... )

Female Vampire A: Say, why don’t we drop by the arcade next? I heard they’ve got lots of games like darts or puzzles!

Male Vampire A: You wouldn’t rather ride one of the attractions?

Female Vampire A: Mmh. I’d like to take it easy for a bit.

Male Vampire A: Let’s go check it out then. 

ー The couple leaves again

Ruki: ...They left?

Yui: Nn...Nn...

Ruki: ...Aah, sorry. I’ll let you go now.

*Rustle*

Yui: Haah...

Ruki: Seems like they didn’t pick up on the scent of blood...It’s good I stopped the bleeding.

Yui: ( ...Seems like Ruki-kun is still rather alert. I guess he’s worried after all... )

( Speaking of which, those people from earlier said they were headed towards the arcade, right? )

Uhm, Ruki-kun?

Ruki: ...Yes?

Yui: Why don’t we try going to the arcade they mentioned as well?

Ruki: ...You truly believe such a place would pique my interest?

Yui: Well...I figured you’d like it more than the rides.

They said you can play darts or make a puzzle.

Ruki: ...

Hmph...Seems like you actually put some thought into it.

However, I doubt it’d be good to move carelessly?

Yui: My arm stopped bleeding, so I’m fine.

We can’t just sit around here forever, so why don’t we go take a look? It’s a Carnival after all.

Ruki: ...

...You do have a point. We can’t just sit still and hold our breaths forever.

Yui: Then...!

Ruki: Yes, very well. Being inside a building might be more safe than staying outside as well.

Yui: ( Thank god...! )

Ruki: However, it’s crowded inside the park. ...Don’t stray away from my side, okay?

Yui: Yeah.

( I hope this’ll help cheer him up a little... )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Saint Nore Park’s venue

Yui: According to the map, it should be around here. Uhm...

Ruki: Oi, don’t wander around too much.

Yui: Ah, sorry.

Ruki: ...I assume it’s that building? It should be obvious if you pay some attention.

Yui: Eh? Ah, you’re right! As to be expected of Ruki-kun, you’re always keeping an eye on your surroundings!

Ruki: Your field of vision is simply too narrow. Because of that, my suffering never ends.

Yui: ( ...I’m glad. He’s slowly becoming the regular old Ruki-kun again. )

Ruki: Oi, let’s hurry inside. I’m pretty sure it’d be in our best interest not to wander around outside for too long.

ー They enter the game center

Yui: Wah...Seems like they’ve got quite the assortment of games.

This is...A card game, I suppose? There’s a chess board as well.

Ruki: Darts and puzzles, huh?

Yui: ( Which one should we try first...? )

Selection

→ I wanna try the puzzle (☾)

Yui: ( I just have to go with a puzzle here, right? )

Ruki: So, what are you going to play?

I’m not too fond of these kind of noisy places...But I’m sure you came here with a specific objective in mind?

Yui: Ah, uhm...I’d like to try the puzzles over there on the other side...

Ruki: A puzzle, huh...?

Yui: Yeah. What do you think?

Ruki: ...Very well, I’ll join along. I don’t dislike those either.

Yui: ( Hooray! )

→ I wanna try darts

Yui: ( Darts, huh...? I’ve never played that very much, so it might be a good opportunity... )

Uhm...Ruki-kun? How about a game of darts?

I want to give it a try since I’ve never played it much.

Ruki: The answer is no.

Yui: Eh?

Ruki: ...Haah; You never learn, do you?

Have you already forgotten what happened earlier? Even though you nearly became a darts board yourself.

Besides, what if you hurt yourself on one of the dart arrows?

Yui: Well...

Ruki: If you understand that, give up on playing darts. Let’s look for something else.

Yui: Yes...

Ah...Then why don’t we try a puzzle? Look, they’ve got them over there.

Ruki: A puzzle, huh...? Very well. I’ll allow that.

ー They walk towards the puzzles

Yui: ( ... )

Hm, these look quite tricky.

Ruki: You think so? I’m pretty sure this level of difficulty is the bare minimum to make it worth playing.

Yui: ( As to be expected of Ruki-kun...I feel like we’ll easily complete these with his help. )

Ah, look, Ruki-kun. Seems like you’ll appear in the rankings if you get a high score at this game.

I wonder if they’ll display our names too if we do a good job?

Ruki: Who knows.

Yui: Eh?

Ruki: It’s pointless to worry about scores or rankings. This is a battle with yourself, not with others.

Yui: Is it....? However, I’m sure you’d be happy to rank number one. See. Your name would show up over heーー

...Huh?

Ruki: What’s the matter?

Yui: The name of the current number one...

Ruki: Number one? At this puzzle?

...!

Sakamaki Reiji...?

Yui: ( Reiji-san was here as well!? Actually, he did say he has visited the Carnival before... )

Anyway...Reiji-san’s record is amazing. There’s a considerable gap with the person in second place.

Ruki: ...

...Interesting.

I don’t care about rankings, but losing against one of those Sakamaki’s leaves somewhat of a bitter taste in my mouth.

Especially as far as puzzles are concerned. I happen to be very confident in my own abilities when it comes to these.

I shall overwrite Sakamaki Reiji’s record right here, right now. With my own name, that is.

Yui: ( He suddenly became motivated...I guess he doesn’t want to lose to Reiji-san? )

Ruki: Oi, Livestock. You should give it a try first.

Yui: Eh!? Me?

Ruki: Of course? I’ll prepare myself in the meantime.

Yui: ( You need to prepare yourself to solve a puzzle!? )

Ruki: Come on, hurry up. Don’t make your Master wait. 

Yui: Y-Yes...Okay then. I’ll give it a try.

( I’m not very confident but...Guess I’ll just have to give it my best shot! )

Explanation: Complete the puzzle within the time limit by shuffling the different pieces around.

You can play this game in EASY, NORMAL or HARD mode.

Ruki: ...Hooh.

Yui: ( I did it! Seems like I solved it! )

Ruki: Seems like you’re a little capable as well. I need to reconsider my opinion on you.

While you didn’t come close to the Sakamaki eldest son’s score, you did your best. This isn’t a bad result at all.

Yui: ( Fufu, he praised me! )

Ruki: However...If you improve just a little more, I’m sure you’ll be able to up your score?

Ruki: For example, this one. This one should go here instead of over there.

Yui: Eh!? Ah...

Ruki: Did you not realize your mistake? ...Seems like you’re surprisingly careless in that regard.

Yui: Uu...I ended up rushing because of the time limit.

Ruki: Come on, give me the remaining pieces as well. This one goes in the corner over here.

Yui: You’re right...

( Ruki-kun really is amazing... )

Ruki: Well then. Shall I take over?

I’ll surpass both your and Sakamaki Reiji’s record in no time.

*TIMESKIP*

Ruki: ...Hmph...Child’s play.

Yui: A-Amazing! You beat Reiji-san’s score!

Ruki: Of course. I can’t let myself lose to those guys after all.

Yui: ( Fufu...Ruki-kun seems happy. )

( I’m glad his mood brightened! )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts back to Saint Nore Park’s venue

Yui: That was fun, huh?

Ruki: Well, it wasn’t a bad time...If you had fun, that’s what matters most.

By the way, does your arm not hurt? You moved quite a bit while getting caught up in the puzzle game, didn’t you?

Yui: Yeah, it completely stopped bleeding too and doesn’t hurt either. I’m fine.

Ruki: Really? Show it to me.

*Rustle*

Ruki: ...The bleeding has indeed stopped. I hope it doesn’t leave any scars though.

Yui: ...

Ruki: ...What are you making that weird expression for?

Yui: Uhm...

Ruki: If you’ve got something on your mind, spit it out.

Yui: Well...You usually don’t really care about marks left behind by sucking my blood.

But you seem to be rather worried about this one in particular...

Ruki: ...Of course. Those are two different things.

Between scars left behind by others and those who I have engraved in your body myself.

Bite marks are like a sign of possession. However...The one on this arm doesn’t signify anything.

Even by looking at it like this...It only reminds me of the fact I let you get hurt.

Yui: Ruki-kun...

ー A flyer flies their way

*Flip*

Yui: ...Huh? A piece of paper came flying our way...

Ruki: One of the clowns is handing them out over there. I assume the wind blew it this way.

*Flip*

Ruki: It seems to be some sort of announcement...

‘Welcome to Top of Croquembouche’ (1)...?

Yui: ( Top of Croquembouche...? )

ー Somebody runs up to them

Park staff member: Excuse me! Did a flyer happen to fly this way?

Ruki: You’re referring to this?

Park staff member: Aah, exactly! The wind blew it away...Ah, but I suppose you can keep it!

Yui: Uhm, what exactly is ‘Top of Croquembouche’?

Park staff member: It’s the sky terrace you can see over there!

As you can read on the flyer, they offer various services, so please drop by if you get the chance to!

ー The staff member leaves

Ruki: ...

...Let’s go, Yui.

Yui: Eh? Where are we going...?

ー Ruki walks away

Yui: Ah! Ruki-kun, wait!

ー She runs after him

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) Croquembouche is a traditional French dessert usually served at parties and celebrations. It’s made out of several choux creams which are all stacked into the shape of a tower.

← RETURN TO CHAPTER 2

→ PROCEED WITH MAIN STORY [CHAPTER 4]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #1 [W/AYATO]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #2 [W/ SUBARU]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #3 [W/ KOU]

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

Carla’s CL Route: A Shin Fan’s Thoughts and Feelings

I have such mixed feelings on this route but I’m going to try and relay them as articulately as I can. Obligatory warning, this post contains massive spoilers for CL (mainly Carla’s route but i’m going to mention some of the other routes too). Now without further ado:

Before I delve into any of the issues I had with this route, let’s start with what I liked. Firstly, I think it’s safe to say that Carla hands down deals with the situation the best after he gets his memories back compared to the other routes I’ve played (Shin’s, Shu’s and Laito’s) and I would be very surprised if any of the other characters are able to handle things as well as he did (although admittedly that’s partly because he’s just so much more powerful than everyone else). I did like that the writers were able to show off how capable he can be, while still bringing up stuff like how it isn’t good at cleaning or cooking.

I liked the plot point about Carla being able to live without Endzeit if they stayed in the miniature garden as I thought it was an interesting concept.

I found it very interesting that Subaru was the only other character to regain his memories in this route, especially given that Carla actually played a role in his LE route which wasn’t the case for any of the other Sakamaki brothers in LE. I can’t help but wonder if the writers have them as a brotp when considering that they were also paired together in the Versus IV CDs. Regardless, I did enjoy seeing their interactions in Carla’s CL route.

The scenes between Carla and Yui after Carla gets his memory back are great and I’m sure Carla fans will have a field day with them.

Now, lets move onto to the issues I personally have with this route.

Because Carla is shown to be so capable, I never really felt fearful for the characters. In contrast, in Shin, Shu and Laito’s routes they all had moments of genuine peril outside of the bad endings, which meant I felt really concerned and was drawn into the story. Carla’s route however, went something like this: Oh no, how are they going to deal with this unexpected development? Ah wait, he solved it in an instant, as expected of Carla I suppose. Oh no, how are they going to deal with this other unexpected situation? Ah no nevermind, he dealt with it right away again... and so on.

This might just be personal preference, but in my opinion if you really want people to get invested in a story, there needs to be some element of risk for the characters (even if you know there’s going to be a good ending). If you take that away, even though the fluffy bits with Carla and Yui were lovely, every time we got to one of the more plot-orientated parts of the story, I’d start to get invested only for there to be no pay off as there never really seemed to be much of a problem in the first place. This is why you have to be a bit careful when coming up with characters to make sure that they have some sort of weakness, otherwise the audience knows they’re going to be fine whatever.

Yes Carla is undoubtedly the strongest of the boys when Karl’s powers aren’t involved (and especially when Endzeit is removed from the picture) but I still feel like there should have been something. We came a little close with Shin getting close to being killed by the Scarlet family but Carla took care of it so easily that it just felt a bit... I don’t know, flat maybe?

And now onto my biggest bugbear of the route: how they handled things with Shin. 

First things first, I am fully aware that I am incredibly biased here and Carla fans, you may see no issues with this route at all and honestly, good on you, I’m glad you enjoyed it, but hopefully after the end of this post you’ll at least understand why I was a little upset.

Things started off really well on this front, I loved the scene where Carla starts to remember things, Shin cuts his arm and then says that seeing Carla kneeling in front of him makes him feel frustrated for some reason. I was pleased when Carla and Yui went to rescue Shin (and by extension Ruki) when they were being attacked by the Scarlet family and the angst when Carla and Yui saw Shin treating Ruki as his big brother. But it then just... went nowhere (well in the Euphoria ending anyway, I’ll get onto that Labyrinth ending later).

The writers threw in some token lines from Shin in chapter 15 sure, but did he get his memories back before they returned to the real world? No. Did we get any sort of scene between Shin and Carla after Shin had gotten his memories back? No. In the route to achieve the Euphoria ending could Shin have stopped existing from about chapter 12 onwards and it wouldn’t have changed anything? Honestly, yes. 

I genuinely don’t think this would have bothered me so much had it not been for two things: 1) how much of a big deal trying to return Carla’s memories was in Shin’s route (although I would never have really expected anything else) and 2) the fact that all of this Shin and Carla angst was dangled in front of my nose only for there to be no pay off whatsoever.

I know this route is meant to ultimately be about Carla and Yui, not Carla and Shin’s brotherly relationship but I can’t help but feel cheated that the little Carla and Shin content we did get never amounted to anything. There was no heated discussion/argument between the two of them, there was no exciting climax where Shin tried to kill Carla because he still had his fake memories. Hell, we didn’t even get a token scene at the end where the brothers finally both had their memories back; Shin was unconscious for the conversation with Socrates and then he never comes up again.

My main point here is that I don’t think it was a good decision to include all these bits about Shin being important to Carla and then to not do anything with it in the climax of the good ending.

I acknowledge that there was no big climax in Laito’s route with the triplets either but at the very least Kanato and Ayato got their memories back and made sure that Shu and Reiji didn’t kill Subaru while Laito and Yui were trying to find a way out of the miniature garden. Shin didn’t even do that much.

Now as for labyrinth ending, oh boy where do I even begin. Putting aside the fact that Shin getting infected with Endzeit is literally the one thing I never want to happen in the franchise, I wasn’t a fan of it at all. Part of my reason for not being a fan of this ending comes back to my point about Shin playing such a small role in the Euphoria ending version of chapter 15 that he could have been replaced by a mop and I don’t think anyone would have noticed. 

However my biggest issue is that we get no information on what’s actually happened to him in that ending.

For anyone unfamiliar with that ending, in the Labyrinth version of chapter 15 Shin tries to kill Yui before they reach the church (as he still hasn’t got his memories back) but Carla protects her and gets stabbed. Shin gets covered in Carla’s blood and because his wounds from earlier in the route haven’t healed yet, they suspect he’s gotten infect with Endzeit. As a result, Yui and Carla decide to stay in the miniature garden where time is effectively frozen rather than return to the real world and have Shin potentially die from Endzeit.

The actual ending is just Yui and Carla talking about whether they’ve made the right decision. They say Shin hasn’t shown any signs of Endzeit but did he get his memory back? Are they just keeping him locked in the dungeons so he doesn’t try to murder them both? Who knows.

I can’t help but feel that it was very unfair to have Shin used as a bad ending plot device and then cut him out of that ending too. 

Also I am calling complete bullshit on that line about Carla being able to suppress his symptoms. I get that Rejet are probably trying to hint to his DF ending where Yui’s blood is magically able to hold off Endzeit symptoms (which was retconed for LE but might be thing again now apparently?) but then why was there any hesitation from Yui over going back to the real world versus staying with Carla in the minature garden??? Like this makes no sense at all. Either Carla is dying from Endzeit or he isn’t, you can’t pick and choose within the route itself depending on what’s convenient.

Anyway I’m starting to rant which isn’t good, so I’ll bring an end to this post here. 

Do I think the route has its good points? Yes, absolutely, I think Carla fans who enjoy his softer side will have a great time playing it. Do I personally have some very specific problems with it which are likely related to the identity of my favorite character? Again, yes.

Anyway I’d be interested to know if anyone agrees with me or if I am just a Shin-obsessed mad woman. I’m going to go and listen to one of Shin’s drama CDs or something while I go and calm down. Hope you’re having a good day and thanks for reading :)

[meibemeibelline]

part 3 (FINAL) of highlights from that 32k word doc i wrote when i marathoned gazette songs (2012-2018)

PART 1 | PART 2

once again:

This is a combo of thoughts on music, lyrics and other random things I wrote while listening. Not every song will be featured, sorry.

I sometimes directly quote translations and when I do, I’ll specify whose it was. Here are the masterposts of lyrics by Heresiarchy , Defective Tragedy and Trauma Radio

I will write song titles for which there are warnings in bold and all caps

So this part will be a bit different because mental health and The Band became really prominent themes in their music in a way it wasn’t really before, so rather than simply writing about songs as they come, I do (attempt to) connect some dots between songs and albums

Also this is REALLY LONG (~5k words)

If you read any of these posts, thank you <3

CONTENT WARNINGS: murder (In Blossom), reference to abuse (In Blossom), suicide/suicidal thoughts (Kagefumi, Deux/Blemish), reference to PTSD (Incubus). Overall LOTS of discussions about mental health.

buckle up folks it’s gonna be a long one

So I listened to Division according to the limited edition version where the songs got split into the ‘story-like songs’ and the ‘hype songs’. Just while we’re on that, I like to think that Vein is the story part because these songs (the blood) are meant to go TO our hearts, while Artery, which is the ‘raw emotion’, is the heart doing the talking and supplying the oxygen that will do its thing. LIKE HEADBANGING.

“Ibitsu is not the first song they’ve written about changes in the music industry, but it’s quite different from others like 13Stairs[-]1 and Dim Scene. They were quite angry about the state of things, lamenting it. But here, Ruki is writing his and the band’s place in all of that. It’s like in the other two songs he’s like, “wow look at all this rubble. This sucks.” But in Ibitsu he’s writing about how he’s also in that rubble and thinks about what HE feels about it in relation to himself and the GazettE. And I find that quite interesting. Also hell YES imagery – skies as ideals, the world around them collapsing into ruin, the band as a flower amidst the rubble that can’t reach the sky. It sounds like he’s trying to navigate how he’s supposed to move forward when his ideals and what’s happening in the industry oppose each other quite a lot. He doesn’t reach an answer in this song and ends by asking whether it is actually in ruins or whether he’s just afraid of change, I think.” - interestingly, he uses this same imagery in Kuroku Sunda Sora to Zangai to Katahane to write about anxiety and not feeling good enough.

Quick disclaimer on KAGEFUMI: I do want to say first that I’m talking about this purely as a piece of art. Not as in, like, “this is peak romance”, but just as an artwork I can have Opinions™ about, even if they’re possibly in disagreement with that of the creator. “The shadow tag metaphor for a couple committing double suicide meaning that they’re ‘becoming one’ and being together in death is A Lot. There’s an incredibly strong belief in an afterlife where they can be together makes (what Ruki describes) this stronger bond between them that literally lasts or even transcends the boundaries between life and death, rather than a tragic end (unlike Tokyo Shinjuu). Musically, I love this song and think it’s gorgeous, the way it’s sad yet hopeful. We over here with that bittersweet stuff again but lyrically it’s a WILDLY different route than others before it.”

“Yoin is such a heavy end to disc 1. The ending lines, “The sea of loss / Understanding of helplessness / That day we grieved” about the Tohoku earthquake/tsunami and the nuclear disaster is just so ……. And not only that, but how even though people still struggle to survive, people are moving on like it’s a thing of the past. It’s SO heavy.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

“I think [Derangement] is about a massive internal struggle between wanting longing for the past, knowing it won’t come back, but also wanting to destroy the past out of self-hatred. There are aspects of the past, perhaps ambition and drive for example, that are good, but other parts that are not. It’s almost like a continuation of Remember the Urge but like…angrier and with more hatred towards his own past rather than only the longing of it. Which is also really interesting.” – this is definitely one of the themes that comes up A LOT from now, ESPECIALLY in Ninth. We’ll get to that.

“IS KAI GOOD??? That man is NOT human. I swear to god his drums in Required Malfunction are INSANE. ANYWAY, this song is about how people cannot be perfect and we all have flaws, especially in the context of relationships. I like that even though people argue and butt heads sometimes, there’s that Japanese verse where he sings “Let’s send a song without stains / to that innocence without lies / so you can swallow those wounds” and the last lines “Because you are always here, I can advance” to mean like…them being together can ultimately make them better and it can be a good relationship (if they work on it, imo). Also, I love the language he uses here – viruses and malfunctions and inputs – a very non-human way to write about human relationships.” (Cr: Trauma Radio)

(Dripping Insanity) “Solitude drenched in red laughs / in the insanity dripping in silence” is SUCH a good line yes hello I appreciate this. (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“EYYY HAVEN’T HEARD FORBIDDEN BEAVER IN FOREVER. At first I was wondering if this might be judgmental but honestly? I think this is satirical, especially from the line “May the truth you spew on taboos going frantically around / Shred the rhythm of high society”. Like the fact they’re gossiping about a famous woman who has a lot of sex and just TARNISHING her name bc of it, to Ruki, is a load of bullshit. Also, some of the lyrics in the chorus are funny coming from Ruki – “She has a sex addiction / Bang! Bang! / Cute luv machine” – like he does NOT ever write like this and this song is just a huge satirical joke I’m YELLING.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“The transition from Malformed Box to Inside Beast >>>>”

“[Inside Beast] is definitely about having a ‘beast’ inside you that’s like all your demons and ugly feelings and to let them all out. He wrote about demons in Derangement, but the way he writes about acceptance is like…empowering and freeing. Not necessarily through words but through the music and just how hard this song slaps.”

“I really love the lyrics of [Until it Burns Out] and its whole thing about valuing the time they have as a band and to be together making music precisely because it’s going to end someday, and it’s going to be their last shot at living their dreams, which is to make music and perform TOGETHER as the GazettE. Like that’s so meaningful, and powerful in the way they just…grab it by the fucking throat. Breaking down the walls that hold them back, TOGETHER, towards the future in which they see their dreams. Like they’re not letting this be the end. They won’t allow it. UGH. UGHHH. The middle eight is so beautiful and I love the lines “The light that colours this irreplaceable scenery / burns the significance of standing here into me / Until the last” like they just love performing SO MUCH UGGGHHH FEELINGS”. (Cr: Trauma Radio)

“[REDO] IS SO GODDAMN SENTIMENTAL I’M IN MY FEELINGSSSSS. Kai being the composer, I can’t help but feel this is him paying homage to jazz, which is the music his mother plays and he loves her so so much. I’m probably reaching but THAT’S JUST HOW I FEEL.”

“EVERBODY SHUT UPPPP IT’S LAST HEAVEN TIMEEEE. It’s so gd gorgeous and sweet. I’M GETTING REALLY EMO WHAT THE FUCKKKK. BRUH. BRUUUUHHH. THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL //THROWS. SHUT UPPPP. TOO MANY SKY, STAR AND FOREVER REFERENCES FOR THIS TO BE OKAY BITCH. This is Ruki’s love song to the cosmos, wishing to be eternal like the stars but acknowledging that all he can do is chase it knowing his life will end, BUT THAT THEY DON’T HAVE TO GRIEVE BECAUSE THEY WILL MEET AGAIN IN THE AFTERLIFE BECAUSE IN SOME WAY WE /ARE/ ETERNAL. IT’S LOVING AND INNOCENT AND WISTFUL. This song is the goddess to all the GazettE love songs. THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK. “The distant sky, this infinite moment / I now wish from the visible stars / in this youthful merry-go-round / that continues to turn endlessly / I want to be eternal like you” – is just…such a beautiful image. “Let’s stay like this, having dreams we cannot reach / Long road which leads to the calm hill / I go, leaving my sadness behind / Good night…my beloved / Last heaven of mine” – it’s yearning but it’s the yearning for LIFE. And to leave behind sadness…Ruki very rarely writes about pain like this. And to call the ‘beloved’ his last heaven, the last thing in his life that’s just THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO HIM AND THE THING HE WANTS TO BE ETERNAL WITH goodbye………GOODBYE. “Love without shape changing day by day / Close together / we become / one shooting star” – AAAHHH AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. Also, for him to say ‘memento mori’ which means “Remember, you must die” in the middle eight of a song about wanting to be eternal just gives the entire sentiment a new meaning ;-;” (Cr: Trauma Radio)

“There’s a particular sound to Division and Beautiful Deformity (but more in BD). It sounds like rushing water. Loss in particular sounds like this. Like, the sound isn’t just ‘dark’ and ‘heavy’, it moves A LOT and there is sooo much emotionality in the songs on this album. It’s really dynamic.”

“The Stupid Tiny Insect revisits the theme of inner demons. Specifically, in this song it sounds like negative internal self-talk. It’s interesting though, the way that Ruki writes it as an entirely separate being to how he writes inner demons and whatnot in other songs, where it’s either another entity within a person that is part of them OR just…themselves. Here, they are VERY separate, and that probably allows him to feel and express rage instead of helplessness or confusion. I also love the reference to pretending to be okay – “I get high on delusion / And act as if I made them die out / ‘Just like a summer moth to a flame”.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“IN BLOSSOM is pretty fucking brilliant lyrically imo. It reminds me a lot of 32 Koukei no Pistol in that a protagonist who was abused/neglected by the parents kills them, and in the latter’s case only, also themselves. Some other differences: In Blossom is WAY angrier (and a lot more loaded) and the protagonist is trying to ‘make their own life’ (even if the way they choose to do that DOESN’T WORK), whereas the narrator in 32 Calibre Pistol was mostly lamenting that they’ve ‘lost their way’ and deep-down were wishing for their family to be happy together. I can’t say WHY that is. But it’s interesting that in In Blossom, the abuse just…DESTROYED their concept of family that they used to believe in entirely, and the fact they cannot separate themselves from their abusers neither by dying nor killing them is A Lot. So, they try to free themselves and ‘get hope’ by killing their abusers as revenge (“Die away, along with these wounds I’d counted”), but it doesn’t bring them happiness or heal them (“Even if I slash so much it’s unparalleled by the wounds I’d counted, it still starts to ache / It doesn’t even fight off the decay, much less heal me”). It’s very much saying that despite pain, revenge is not the answer. I also love the line “They adorn vividly – have blossomed beautifully / The sun that has started to set makes sure of it” to describe the wounds as the narrator kills their abusers and their loss of sanity as they do so.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“To Dazzling Darkness is about that moment when a concert is over and the lights start to come on. It’s so gorgeous. This is sort of like, the other side of Until it Burns Out. If UIBO is about the band then TDD is about the fans, and the band’s place in the world. I love the imagery in the first verse – darkness is usually associated with bad things, but here darkness is peace, escapism and unity that are part of the happiness of a concert, while the light symbolises the continuation of life. The scenery here is the same scenery in UIBO, which is the scenery of a concert that this band cherishes. There’s also the acknowledgement that time is fleeting and nothing is forever. Like, this is really the other side of the coin and I love it.”

“Dogma defines their new (2015) sound so well, which is HEAVY AND DIRTY AS FUCK. Like, it is SO conceptual and experimental and the painting is just GORGEOUS. I love the harpsichord in this song – as the predecessor of the piano, it was used in a lot of churches and religious music in the Baroque period (1600-1750ish), so using it here in a song where the band is likened to idols (the religious type) is super cool. And to combine it with these really low and heavy guitars just gives the DARKEST image.

And there’s so much going on in the lyrics – MANY MOTIFS, MANY MEANINGS. They bring back the concept of darkness as a symbol for escape from harsh life and of unity during concerts. As for death, Reita has an iconic quote where he said something along the lines of: “we often say in lives ‘to die’, but what we actually mean is to live. Live and be free”. I see death for GazettE as a kind of transformation – and end, yet also a beginning to become something or someone new.

Ruki hasn’t really mentioned god since Ogre in Dim, in which he basically wrote “idk if God exists but I don’t really care – all I need is me”. But here he likens the band to an idol of worship. We as the fans worship the GazettE, and they are also gods to us, their followers, in the sense that they provide us with life and unity (referred to here as death and darkness, respectively). The GazettE as a band brings darkness and death to the world (with their own meanings, of course).

This is also a song about the band breaking away from current gods and dogmas of the music industry, and from its greed. I also love the line, “The rite I must face is cloaked in darkness and isolation” – this process of their journey to finding their truth is lonely, and no one but them can do it for themselves. To do so also isolates them from everything they once knew. It’s them navigating what is expected of them by the masses and those they work with vs doing what they want without getting shunned for it.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

 “DAWN IS ABOUT REDISCOVERING THEMSELVES. I love the number of metaphors he brings back in this song – 13 stairs, death, merry-go-rounds and again dogma. Death here is about the transformation of them as a band, which occurs at the top of the 13 stairs to the gallows. And I find that so interesting because he uses the image of gallows (eg: 13 Stairs[-]1 and Forbidden Beaver) as like…an actual Death that means the end of a genre or a person’s reputation, but here it’s a place of transformation. In Last Heaven, the merry-go-round is a symbol of life – it comes back here but this time it’s red instead of blue (youthful) and is paired with the image of a mad banquet with emotions running wild (ie concerts). Basically, this is about the band’s life and, like, their life being about concerts. My favourite part is “Overcoming a period of confusion, I took those stirring emotions / And hung them up high on the 13 stairs” because there’s also the line “I’ve already had a lethal dose of misfortune / The ruined gallows towers above me” -> WE WENT THROUGH SOME SHIT BUT WE FOUND OURSELVES AND SURPRISE BITCH, BET YOU THOUGHT YOU’D SEEN THE LAST OF ME.” (Cr1: Heresiarchy, Cr2: Defective Tragedy)

Not from my notes directly but I feel like the difference between Bizarre to Juuyonsai no Knife (ie the only two songs about Real juvenile criminals) is a REALLY good representation of how Ruki’s lyrics have changed over the years. He went from taking perspectives of people who perpetrators of violence (to write horror stories, imo, but also to generally Explore their minds through art) to making comments about society and how systems affect people in real life. Not to say he doesn’t write about killers anymore or that social commentary is NEW for him, but just…a big change in what’s PROMINENT.

“Interesting that Wasteland is next, which is about Justice on the Internet. I know Ruki has always been really critical of the internet and the kind of social processes that occur online (see: Nakigahara) and here it’s about morality and justice, but more importantly the way it’s about crowd mindsets and CONTROL. And he just summarises it SO WELL in the first verse: “The thousand eyes that can kill even God / Transform into rebels that lust for control / If the time comes when right and wrong disappear / It will all end with a blood-red moon”. There’s also the line “Innocence gives way to sinful judgment” ie the innocent go along with their ways or it’s the innocent (the weak, as he says later) that are scrutinised. And I think about this a lot considering…some other fandoms I’m in >.>” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

(INCUBUS) “The song is a lot of wondering what they did to deserve their trauma and how they want the dreams/nightmares to go away. I do like that at the end of the song they come to the conclusion that they cannot change what happened and decide “fuck the why”, accepting they didn’t deserve it. Even though the narrator is still stuck in the maze (of trauma), the letting go of asking why it happened is like, a really important step in healing. Because it’s the end of self-blame. So, I hope narrator can heal :( “

(DEUX) “My dumbass never realised this but the music of Deux itself has DUALITY. Metal with solo piano. IT REALLY TOOK ME FIVE YEARS TO REALISE THAT HUH. It’s about two conflicting selves (which to me sound more like intrusive thoughts, considering Blemish’s VERY LOUD “These days I’m better dead”) and the effect that has on like, your emotionality and how it leads to loneliness. His use of nightmares in this song is fascinating – the Japanese word he uses (sakayume) is like…a reverse dream, like if a child has a nightmare you tell them it’s a sakayume so it means what happened in their dream definitely won’t happen AND something good will happen instead. And this is something Ruki prays for.”

(Ominous) “The imagery is really dark in this – “A prayer crushed under wreckage / Reflects in your eyes as you start to fly / I see you in the sky thick with shadows / Spinning around with nightmares” – there’s a desperate attempt to fly and get better and do Well but still they’re surrounded by darkness and nightmares, unable to escape. “Don’t forget that a heart cannot die / Don’t forget that dreams aren’t predictions of the future” –There’s hopefulness in a heart not dying yet a very strong despair when he says dreams don’t predict the future, not even reverse dreams. “It steals away my still-unformed future, and whenever I step forth / I can’t see a thing in that shadowed sky / My screaming can’t save anything / when I’m killing myself with sadness” – oh that hurts, that hurts A LOT. He wants to fly but he can’t. This is just SO MUCH. And they didn’t even have an instrumental outro, IT JUST ENDS WITH ACCEPTANCE OF HOPELESSNESS AND DEPRESSION.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“The drums in Goddess uggghhh UGGGHHH. AND THE GUITAR TOOOOOO. Lyrically, this is really a mid-point between depression and healing. It’s A Lot. He writes about his suffering, wanting to make something of his mistakes and his sins and actually WANTING TO LIVE. But it’s so sad that in the end he still feels really helpless – the subtle changes between “I want to become the stars that fill the silence” vs “I can’t become the stars that fill the silence”. But I think that on some level he knows what the next step is. He wishes in the last two lines, “If only I could share my grief that can’t be put to words / If only I could face reality and live accepting my crippling despair”. THAT’S THE FIRST STEP!!!! THAT’S A STEP!!!! TO HEALING!!!! “These bleak thoughts are my sacrifice that will one day begin to thaw into a selfless, smiling heart” – this line is fucking LOADED. Like, he sacrifices his bleak thoughts by expressing them and by making art out of his pain in hopes that he will be able to acknowledge and accept his suffering and his pain as a means to heal, as a way of allowing him to have a selfless and smiling heart. Like, this is SO much of what his art is about and what it has been for SUCH a long time it makes me so emotional that this is what he’s saying about his own lyrics.” I realise too that the goddess is likely the same goddess from Blemish. I’m still unsure what to make of it because Blemish ends in Ruki writing he doesn’t wants to be reborn, and not abandoned. But here he ends with wanting to heal. Wanting to move on and live.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO UNDYING.

“WHEN HE BROUGHT BACK “SLEEP, COUNT ME DOWN AGAIN” >>> God, this song is so powerful. THERE ARE SO MANY CALL-BACKS TO DOGMA. I SHOULD’VE KNOWN THIS BUT STILL. BITCH WHAT THE FUCK. It’s a direct continuation of Ominous (“I won’t arise from this”). I think in this song he’s becoming that figure that is flying in Ominous, and the one that is surrounded by nightmares and shadows – the first verses are about how the future is drenched in misfortune yet we must continue to live (and suffer, but WE CAN AT LEAST BE A BIT HOPEFUL). Ruki says this YET HE IS STILL DREAMING, EVEN AS THE END COMES (“My heart starts to disappear along with the spirit of my words / And though it knew the end was near / It dreamt of things it shouldn’t want / And even now I am still—“). There’s also his mentions of sins again that he continues to drown in :( But overall, this song is really about living despite all the pain, which is really meaningful after Dogma ended on such a note of hopelessness. There’s so much power in this song.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“Vacant doesn’t necessarily sound like a romantic relationship breaking down as much as it is about making a mistake and being unable to fix it between you and someone else (or other people), even if Ruki said he wrote it with a band’s image in mind. But the gist is is that there is yet again a struggle within the self (“Self-condemnation distorts the answer / And I lose sight of what I should be / Because of those unconscious actions / I can’t even dream”). The line “In the pain of not being able to tie back the undone thread / The traces left by stopping time keep piling up” really got to me – being stuck in time and constantly wishing for something that was and being hurt by the fact it’s gone is something I personally relate to. But even as the narrator is stuck in time, their grip on the past is loosening – they are forgetting, memories fade, and they lose their strength (“Vacant, you are withering”).” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

(Faling) ““Together, embracing the same pain: it’s only temporary / Don’t forget that this is not the end / So come on, let’s open our eyes and fall / We just believe in ourselves to die / Sometimes it’s okay to be broken” THIS MEANS SO FUCKING MUCH AFTER THE AMOUNT OF TIMES RUKI ENDED DOGMA SONGS WITH HOPELESSNESS AND AT BEST “WE HAVE TO KEEP LIVING AND SUFFERING AND BEING IN PAIN” BUT IN FALLING, PAIN IS TEMPORARY. PAIN IS TEMPORARY. WE WILL HEAL, BITCH. WE WILL GET BETTER, BITCH.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

Can’t find my notes bc it’s somewhere else in my Tumblr drafts but basically: I consider Mortal, Utsusemi and Sono Kore wa Moroku like a Depression Trilogy™ in Ninth. Mortal is about depression, loneliness and loss but like, tying it to a singular person or event in which the narrator felt grief. Utsusemi is about loneliness and depression as well, AND RUKI USES THE CICADA SHELL METAPHOR, WHICH IS THE SAME AS CRUCIFY SORROW (ALSO ABOUT DEPRESSION, BUT SOMEONE ELSE’S). But then, Sono Koe wa Moroku is THE turning point and where he first mentions (in this album) and actual DESIRE to heal and like, ON HIS OWN. IT’S ABOUT BEING STRONG FOR HIMSELF AND THAT MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL. And as I mentioned before, Falling also ends on a hopeful note about sadness not lasting forever – it’s like he’s prefacing the album with the fact sadness IS temporary and that there IS a turning point.

“Babylon’s Taboo is interesting…so apparently Babylon is a figure of western imperialism and capitalism in the Rastafari movement (an afro-centric anti-capitalist and anti-imperialist movement from Jamaica). The narrator is COMPLETELY aware of the oppression and injustice that goes on around him but confesses to doing nothing. I interpreted this as complacency to violence, which Ruki has written about before. Also, he describes a starry sky (which I presume represents wealth and happiness) as a lie, and that they are actually black eyes that watch and look down upon you. In the context of anti-capitalism, my interpretation is that the ‘guaranteed fate’ he writes about is the life-long struggle to attain wealth and happiness – we are doomed to dedicate our lives to this, futilely, to no end. and there’s nothing we can do about it. Another line that stood out to me most is “all I need is sanity but uncertainty will do”. this, along with the rest of the song, implies that the narrator is PRETTY DAMN SURE that we’re all fucked so like....HAHA COOL.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

(Two of a Kind) Okay so…another motif I noticed in this album is an I and a You. And I know this sounds weird considering almost EVERY SINGLE GAZETTE SONG uses first and second pronouns, but mental health is SUCH a prominent, overarching theme in a way no album concept has been before, hence why I’m saying this. Two of a Kind is really solidifying this for me, but they appear in almost every song (but the You is known as ‘she’ in The Mortal). This pair are connected in an extremely emotionally intimate way. For one, they share pain and understand each other’s pain. Secondly, the narrator falls into depression after they’re gone. A part of me thinks it could be a past self and a current self, considering Ruki’s said this album involved the Most introspection from him and Falling writes about sins and past mistakes again. So, it could be a way of separating a past and current self – a past self that was perhaps lost, and made mistakes, but ultimately creates his current self.

But it could also be another person, as this You figure is also a source of light – someone Ruki shares his wounds with, in Two of a Kind. If it’s another person, it may also make sense that the depression and loneliness written about in The Mortal and Utsusemi is triggered by someone extremely close leaving him. Either way, it is this understanding and connection between the I and the You that also bring hope for the future and I REALLY love the way that hope is conveyed in the chorus of Two of a Kind. There’s so much light in it compared to the parts of the song where ruki calls himself filthy and ugly, and when he writes about negative feelings that never go away and bleed into this other person. but i think this other person understands it, and that’s why he can move on.

“Abhor God is a REALLY dark and heavy take on MOVING FORWARD. Like there’s so much rage in the way he writes about killing his lust, pride and anxiety and stringing up his nightmares in a noose, yet so much power in how he moves forward and sings victory with his music and his art. This is likely connected to Ninth Odd Smell and Uragiru Bero - where he writes about the band’s history and his imposter syndrome as an artist despite the band never going to die just because of that. He contrasts ‘too fast to live’ and ‘too young to die’ like, he’s really in a sort of purgatory where he’s constantly making too many mistakes to be happy but has too much to do for him to give up. So it’s here that he chooses to keep going no matter how weak the beat is. Imagery-wise this feels like.....continuing to live not because you have happiness to look forward to but just out of sheer willpower. Like it’s just so angry. Angry at the world, at yourself, but carrying that anger to try to be better and move forward.”

“And Unfinished is about the fans being his reasons to live and IT MAKES ME VERY EMOTIONAL THAT THIS IS HOW THE ALBUM ENDS!!!!!!! WITH HOPE!!!!! AND MOVING FORWARD!!!!! THEY LITERALLY ENDED THEIR ALBUM THAT’S ABOUT THEM ‘MAKING THEIR MARK ON THEIR WORLD’ WITH LIGHT AND HOPE AFTER LIKE TWO STRAIGHT ALBUMS OF /DEPRESSION/. EVERYBODY GO HOME WE LOVE HEALING IN THIS HOUSE.”

AND THAT’S THE END FOLKS!!!! if you made it here thank you so much for reading my ramblings and i appreciate u so so much <3 i hope you learned something new about the gazette’s music (i sure did - it’s why i went on this marathon in the first place!!) and again i have a list of posts i might write (which will definitely be shorter than these) so! yeah! anyway!! it’s past 11pm and i have no more brain cells. thanks again love ya have a good day/night <3 <3

[diabolikal-shitposts]

@venusthevirgin

PART 2 OF 2--

SAKAMAKI

Warnings:

• Mildly NSFW

THE MUKAMI BROTHERS:

RUKI:

• Ruki’s fairly patient as he leans against the doorframe, listening in to his s/o's quiet sobbing and rapid heart rate.

• It breaks own his unbeating heart, he can't believe he failed to make it a known fact to his s/o that there's nothing he would change about them.

• He could've just gone in and dragged them out if he wanted, but Ruki is a civilized being so he decided to choose the least barbaric route.

• First things first, he gets them to stop crying and take in deep breaths.

• Secondly he talks to them, reassuring them that he loves them and that he'd appreciate it if he could see them properly.

• It takes a lot of coaxing and gentle promises he would only make to his s/o, but they finally come out.

• Like the gentle lover he can be, he grabbed their hand and kissed it, giving them a small grin before leading them into an embrace.

• “If you don't feel like continuing what we began, then we can do something else, alright?” he would mutter into their hair, taking in the clothes that hugged his s/o's body's.

• He would definitely ask them to wear it more often.

KOU:

• He's a little disappointed at the bump in the road, but whatever, nothing he can't deal with~

• His voice has a teasing lilt as he leans against the bathroom door, describing all the things he'll do to his S/O if they come out.

• He doesn't hold out either, He describes his deepest desires to them and e x a c t l y how he'll pleasure them when they come out.

• He knows exactly what words to say to make his S/O feel weak in the knees.

• He can smell their arousal from the other side of the door, knowing they won't be able to hold out for much longer.

• "Kitten, you don't need to be embarrassed~ If you come out, I promise to make you purr~"

• When his s/o comes out, he yanks their head back and bites into them unexpectedly.

• He pulls away with a smirk, licking off the blood from his lips as he toys with their mouth, dragging their lower lip with his thumb as he hummed.

• “Now, what's that first thing I said I'd do? Oh! That's right, a little punishment for making me wait so long~ How does a little orgasm denial sound?”

YUMA:

• He doesn't have the patience to wait for his S/O to work up the courage to come out.

• And he most definitely lacks the right words to cheer them up, so it's down to one thing.

• He'll bust into the bathroom--eyes drinking in the outfit and how it fits against his S/O's curves.

• “Oi, Sow! What's the big-- O h.”

• He's pleasantly surprised at the outfit he barely had enough time to register before his s/o dashed out.

• Yuma is grinning like a doofus as he picks up his struggling s/o who demanded to be left alone—but he's not having any of that.

• They get unceremoniously thrown on the bed and attacked in passionate kissed, his hands intertwining with theirs.

• “God, I can't wait to fuck you.” He groans in their ear, but it's more than just words.

• His s/o has an effect like no other on him, and the outfit alone had him harder than a calculus exam.

• “I don't care what ya look like sow, you sure as hell ain't gonna stop being goddamn irresistible!”

AZUSA:

• He'll try his best to encourage his S/O to come out of the bathroom.

• His voice is soft and reassuring and he's really trying his best to lessen their insecurities.

• He thinks his S/O is absolutely stunning--what on earth do they have to be insecure about?

• He’s so genuine and sweet, It's almost heartbreaking to hear him so perturbed by his s/o's discomfort, it's all his fault for not being a better lover he believes.

• “Ah, Eve… It's okay... I like you...no matter how you look like. If...anyone's unsightly... it's me... please come out...and... make fun of me...okay? Oh..! You can...make me even more...disgusting...if you want...I don't mind..”

• When his S/O steps out, he lights up, moving to grab one of his many, many knives to fulfill his end of the deal.

• Of course, he's stopped by his s/o who tells him otherwise and tried to convince him that *they're* the gross one.

• It ends up turning into a “who’s the world's biggest scum” competition mixed with a complimenting contest for a while.

• Some outside interference (Yuma walked in and told them both to shut it) ended the little dispute.

• It had dragged on for so long, his s/o forgot all about feeling disgusting and pulled them into a kiss before apologizing.

• Which then turned into him apologizing and then the cycle began anew-

THE TSUKINAMI BROTHERS:

CARLA:

• He barely has any time to react and take in his s/o's appearance before they turn around and hide back in the bathroom.

• He would try to be patient and talk his S/O to come out and face him again.

• If his words don't work, he'll absolutely let himself into the bathroom to acquire his S/O with a much more straightforward method.

• He's still courteous and gentle, refusing to force them out and worsen the situation.

• ”There is nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re stunning in that, my love.”

• He'll embrace them, letting them cry out the rest of their insecurities into his chest and calm down before deciding whether or not they want to continue.

• He’ll lace his fingers through his S/O’s and lead them into the bedroom.

• No matter what they choose, he'll make sure they're comfortable and keep the situation in mind to better approach it next time something similar happens.

SHIN:

• It's a fact that he will n o t wait for his S/O to come out.

• If there's anyone who's a bigger impatient shit than Ayato, then it's Shin.

• He's banging on the door, telling them to quit wasting time, if he wanted to make fun of them he'd had done it ages ago.

• Doesn't teleport inside, he just knocks the door off its hinges and storms inside

• “Oi, you got a lot of nerve wasting time like that— If we're gonna do it, then let's do it. If I didn't want to fuck you, then i wouldn't have agreed to have you as my S/O; Is that clear?”

• He looks down at his lover, his face showing his displeasure as he offers them a hand to stand up.

• His S/O and him are definitely going to have a long night after that— He’ll claim it was because he had pent up anger from dealing with his s/o’s mood, but in reality it was because he wanted to show them he truly does love them and slow passionate sex is the only way he can demonstrate it.

KINO:

• He’s a brat.

• The moment he's denied something, he's pissy.

• Example? His s/o hijacking the bathroom and refusing to show him their body like promise.

• He's twisting and turning the door knob, almost ripping it off the door as he yells for them to get out already.

• “What the hell is your problem?! What's with you— We've fucked before, wearing an outfit means nothing, you'll be naked again anyway!”

• After enough door pounding and shaking, his s/o comes out, demanding he shuts up for a moment, stops causing a ruckus and take their feelings into consideration for once.

• He’s definitely taken aback, blinking a few times as he quiets down and sits down on the edge of the bed.

• His chest feels tight as he listens to his s/o vent.

• He looks like a scolded child after hearing them unwrap every little discomfort and intrusive thought, especially the things that had not improved because of him.

• “I-I’m sorry...I’ve been a jackass, haven't I? Come here, I’m so sorry, baby. I love you. Let me make it up to you.”

• He's a lot more docile after getting knocked down a peg or two by his s/o, he lets them take control of the situation so he doesn't overwhelm them after having turned violent just a few moments ago.

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

My Thoughts on Shin’s CL Route

So I wrote most of this post like 2 months ago but Uni work got in the way of me finishing it OTL

Also a big thank you to @bloody-croissant for discussing the route with me and helping me get my thoughts on it in order.

Small spoiler-free section: Did I enjoy this route? Yes, a lot. Is it my favorite out of all of Shin’s routes? No. Essentially if you like Shin, I think you’ll have a good time playing his CL route and I’d recommend going into it knowing as little as possible for the full effect.

Spoilers under the cut!

I think the best way to examine this route is to look at what I enjoyed and which parts of it I wasn’t a fan of so let’s get right into it.

Things I liked:

-The CGs: What more can I say other than that they’re beautiful? This game gave me the Shin kiss CG of my dreams and I will be forever grateful for it. (Also the collar one is really hot).

-The pacing/structure of the route: I feel like the route was just the right length for the story, I was never bored but it wasn’t rushed either. Personally I also thought the ratio of romantic Shin x Yui scenes to actual plot was just right.

-The Shin and Kino dynamic: Interactions between these two were the last thing I was expecting from this route but I found myself really enjoying them. After establishing that they’re the only ones aside from Yui with memories of the real world, Shin and Kino form an uneasy partnership to try and work out how to restore Carla’s memories. Aside from the general comedy of Kino causing chaos and Shin getting mad at him, I liked that they actually seemed to bond later in the route. The way Kino admits that Shin not leaving him behind when they had to run away from the other families made him happy and how he helps him in the final fight against Carla were great to see.

Kino (talking about how Shin didn’t leave him behind when Shin, Yui and Kino were escaping from the Violet mansion): I was really happy. Those are my true feelings.

-How Shin discovers his first blood abilities: Shin and Yui get kidnapped by the violet family early on in the story, and after convincing Azusa to let them out of the dungeon, they get caught by Carla as they try to escape from the violet mansion. After Carla corners them in one of the bedrooms, Shin, still without any of his real memories, turns into a wolf, much to the surprise of himself, and Carla, resulting in one of my absolute favorite scenes from this game. This allows him and Yui to escape and there’s then a very angsty scene where Shin questions whether he’s a monster because vampires can’t turn into wolves, which is just the sort of content I wanted from this game. 

-The route showed Shin’s character development: I was kind of surprised by how well Shin seemed to take the fact that Carla had no memories of him (or any of the founders) after he got his own memories back and after mulling it over for a bit, I think it shows that he’s matured (at least a little bit) since his Vibora murdering days. I said the same sort of thing when talking about Carla’s LE vampire ending where Shin willing works with the vampires to get rid of Kino so it was nice to see it translate over to this game too.

-The Labyrinth ending:  Okay this might be a weird one to include here BUT I like that the labyrinth ending is a “bad ending” because it adds weight to the choices you make throughout the route. Also I’m just an angst demon that loves bad endings.

Yui: Everyone… Was killed? That’s–!

Things I did not like:

-The lack of time spent with the orange family: Although I very much enjoyed the Shin and Kino dynamic, I would have liked to see a bit more of Shin interacting with other characters he doesn’t normally spend much time with (which is everyone except Carla really). Unfortunately because of the way the route played out, the number of scenes we got with Shin and the rest of the orange crew were limited (especially after he got his memories back). However we did get this one really nice line:

Shin (to Ruki): You were also a good older brother but, you weren’t my real brother...

-The fact that there are only 2 endings per route: I know that most LP routes only had 2 endings (and even the other DL games only have 3) but as the endings are the only thing you can really influence in VNs, I feel like the more endings the better. I understand that when you have 13 routes, that translates to a LOT of work but if I’m comparing this game to other otome titles then I think it’s worth mentioning.

-Shin’s final fight with Carla This one might just be me being petty but I’m including it anyway. At the very end of the route, Shin and Carla get into a fight, with Shin wanting to return Carla’s memories and Carla wanting to obtain Yui so that he can become the supreme ruler. Shin says earlier in the route that as Carla doesn’t remember he’s a founder, he shouldn’t be able to use any of his founder abilities, while in their final fight, Shin can. Now Carla and Shin go on and on about how the founders have superior abilities to vampires, SO HOW IS CARLA STILL ABLE TO NEARLY KILL SHIN (and he would have done so if Kino hadn’t intervened)?  Shin has lost to vampires in the past but generally it’s because he a) underestimated them, b) they’d inherited Karl’s power or c) he was caught by surprise. None of these are true in this case, and while I’m not necessarily arguing that Shin should have won, it shouldn’t have been as one-sided as it was.

-Kino just leaving at the end of Shin’s route After the aforementioned Carla versus Shin fight, in the Euphoria ending, Carla gets his memories back and Kino then just leaves??? And aside from Yui breifly wondering where he is, and one scene where Kino reflects that Shin and Yui will probably be okay from now on, he’s then not mentioned again. I understand why Rejet did this but it felt a bit unsatisfying, especially as you know that all of their interactions in this game will never be brought up again and I really like the idea of Shin having a friend.

-The volume of the Waltz music in the Euphoria ending:  This is such a minor point but I also feel like it’s a really good example of where sound design is important. For anyone who doesn’t know, at the very end of Shin’s Euphoria ending, Shin and Yui dance in Banmaden’s hall to Waltz music. It’s a very sweet scene and would have lovely were it not for the very loud music. I had the volume of the characters’ voices set as being very high compared to the background music, but even then it was overpowering. While I liked the scene, the romance feels slightly lost when it sounds like Shin is basically shouting at you over this Waltz music. So yeah, minor point but it affected my enjoyment of the ending enough that I felt it merited a mention.

-LE being completely ignored: Again, I understand why Rejet did this (as the plot of this game would not have worked if Shin knew who Kino was and obviously they couldn’t set it after Carla’s death) but as someone who really liked a lot of the scenes from Shin’s LE route, it did make me a little sad that the entire thing seems to have been thrown out the window.

In conclusion:

Even though there were some things I wasn’t super fond of, I did really enjoy this route, I think it’s a lot of fun and it’s made me eager to play more of CL (which is always a good sign). I definitely don’t like it as much as I did Shin’s LE route, or his DF route if I’m being entirely honest, because I feel like the things he went through in those routes really stretched his character and allowed us to explore different sides of him.

As CL presents a more mature version of Shin, you don’t get some of the angst you would have done had say Shin’s DF incarnation been dropped into the setup of CL. And while, as I mentioned, I like that the route shows Shin has developed as a character, I did find myself missing some of those really emotionally charged scenes.

That being said, I enjoyed this route significantly more than his LP route and I would definitely recommend it to fellow DL fans.