#anywayzzzzz I hate feelings and having them and experiencing them
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I just want to cry what the fuck
#I can’t tell if I’m like panic attack losing my mind anxiety losing my mind meltdown losing my mind like what is wrong with me my skin feel#like ants I hate you feeling strong feelings booooo#gahhhhhhhhh#the program is voluntary!!! if I hate the interview thing I never have to go back !!!! it’s okay !!!! hospital settings don’t make me want#to throw up or hurt myself !!!! I am strong !!!!!!!!! this is all fine !!!!!#I deserve rest !!! I deserve comfort even when I am anxious !!!! I can sleep it’s safe to sleep it’s okay this fine we’re good this is fine#it’s okay to sleep even when I’m anxious even when I’m nauseous I can get over it and magically sleep and wake up when I need to wake up an#not cry or throw up !!!! (I cried in the waiting room last time I tried to go to the appointment and they said I was too late and had to#reschedule it was so embarrassing and like I barely want help in the fucking first place it feels so awful to beg for help to admit my brai#is so fucked that I have to go do a real thing like a real program god that makes me feel so sick I’ve been this way since I was like 12#it makes me wanna throw up!!!!!!! how can I keep living like this !!! what other choice do I even have bro dying isn’t an option like suck#it up you clearly can’t fix yourself on your own just try it but what if it makes me worse but what if it makes me feel better )#anywayzzzzz I hate feelings and having them and experiencing them
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