#aphansasia

[edenatday]

So as someone who wants to start with art but also likely has aphantasia do you have any tips for how I could go about drawing something I can't get a reference for?

For example: I wanna draw one of my characters but I cannot for the life of me get anything visual about them onto the screen so I have no reference to go off of, and with no reference I cannot figure out how it properly looks. Might you have any solution for this or atleast know of anywhere I could go to find some?

Oh gosh I appreciate the ask! I wish I had some expert advice but I’ve literally only just figured out I have aphantasia about two days ago lol! So this is poured out of my brain from being an artist for 30 years and my own common sense - you can decide whether it can be trusted haha and sorry it’s not a quick fix either.

The approach that comes to mind is to start building a library of your own so you can start self referencing. But that means initially letting go of that specific idea you have that you can’t find a reference for.

My suggestions are…

Find any pose with a similar body build to your character and use them to sketch your oc so you can practice drawing them in different ways. Then find poses you like regardless of the shape and try “mapping” your oc to that pose. (Such as picking a slim figure and using it as a frame to draw your muscly oc) you’ll be able to fit your oc to any reference, so it’s less vital to find such a specific reference. Don’t be too attached to the concept you’re after you have so you can explore. Looking for one specific reference can be a block, and also not much fun.

In terms of other references to enhance a character, I’d probably start a Pinterest board with outfits and accessories and do lots of little quick studies of them to slowly add more complexity & details. I’ve definitely made the mistake of trying to do all the things all at once and over complicating a lot without doing this kind of work! Start simple and build. I think this is key. Think of it like a puzzle, we have to build all the pieces individually outside our brain bc we can’t put it together on the inside. And like in a game we don’t get all the best weapons and armour at the start, you can upgrade over time.

Having to externalise the visual building blocks others are able to do in their heads, means we have our work cut out for us. But I think there are ways to make it fun and interesting. If they’re a knight, what do they look like commuting to work on a bus reading the newspaper? If they’re a old granny, what do they look like performing the high jump? This will give you an exciting visual library all of your own, you can then start to reference your own work!

Aim to have a toolbox of poses, activities, outfits, scenes etc. Those can be Frankenstein-ed with new external references to develop your work. So it becomes less vital to find that one reference, and more about learning how to build the blocks of your oc through exploration and familiarity.

I haven’t got around to it yet, but I’ve got a list of aphansasia artists to study. Glen Keane is the illustrator for The Little Mermaid. If he can create such an iconic character, so can we! I want to learn from his other aphantasia artists, so I suggest doing the same.

Most of my art is drawn from life or I make my own references specifically to paint from photos, I do a lot of portraits for example. So for me it explains why I’ve longed to do character design or fan art and just been so pants at it and it felt so hard I got 0 reward and gave up. I always return to realism, it doesn’t rely on my inability to internally visualise. Now I know about aphansasia, I can change my approach entirely maybe I’ll attempt some fan art again :)

I’m literally pulling this out of my head off the cuff. So I’d love to know if any other aphansasia artists have similar or better methods they can add to this, this because I am learning anew too.

Any feedback welcome, let’s work this out together :)

[edenatday]

I’ve been chatting on Reddit about aphansasia and someone shared this essay with me. (Below is a screenshot that stood out)

I relate to about 90% of what he’s shared of his experience.

One thing has been vexing me when it comes to accepting that I have a very poor ability to visualise - and certainly my former friend wanted to use as a valid example to disprove I have no visual imagination. I can imagine, make up, play with lots of things in my brain. I have a rich inner world. How do I make @stupidlittledoodles if I can’t visualise?

This is how…

Milk voice = the neutral voice in your head that reminds you to buy milk. Do the dishes. Etc.

The doodles are visual mad libs. I don’t imagine images and go ooh I should draw that. I don’t see the doodle in my head as it is seen on the page. I experience concepts.

Me in my head:

- lol i bet a reverse mermaid but it’s a bloke and has a human penis would look funny.

- Lol remember that time my partner ran around the house with his dick and balls out the top of his jeans and I called it a blep and we found it hilarious.

- my cat is such a slut. She needs an only fans. Oh wait what if there was an only fans for cats. What would it be called?? Only Felines. She’d do some camming. She’d need a laptop…

They’re simple so I DONT have to spend time looking for a reference. A few are traced so I can make them quickly without too much effort to communicate the concept easily, and the touch of realism adds to the lols. I use my iPad like an accessibility tool bc it’s quicker to edit as I go than analogue sketching. They’re not meant to look realistic on the whole.

It’s interesting to me that I started these doodles as a way to move away from perfectionism & let go of realism, because all I have is realism. I can only see what’s real when I open my eyes. I cannot picture surrealism. I can gather references for the concepts of surrealism, or specific artistic techniques, or styles of artistic greats, and years of study mean I can replicate these things into creating something uniquely mine. But I don’t see the image. I judge each stroke as I go. It’s like pulling a thread.

Problem is, with stupid little doodles, my brain isn’t able to mad lib like that all the time. The ideas I get are sparked by quips in conversations, random bits between friends, jokes, maybe even vocalised visual randomness from other peoples brains, that I’m able to illustrate. I live a very solitary life these days so im not exposed to these moments often, and I miss that creativity. It only happens when I’m bouncing off other people. I’ve sat with this feeling of personal failure for a while, why don’t I do them anymore? I really love creating them. They’re like a dopamine button for me too! Maybe I’ll figure out ways to spark this part of my brain again. For now I’m choosing to focus elsewhere.

A lot of my creativity comes this way. A solitary life suits me, but doesn’t suit my creativity. I have to externalise a lot of my brain to function, so lot of my ideas are externally generated through my unique perspective human experience. I’m not sure how to describe this process entirely yet. But it’s been on my mind for a while. In order to make art I need to go out in the world and have experiences, but there’s people and things out there, so I stay in.

I’ll get back to the world soon I hope. Burnout is a bitch.