#apologies for only having alt text on one image at first - the rest got removed for some reason? it should be fixed now!
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mannequinswithkillappeal · 2 years ago
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oh boy youtube's autogenerated captions are really struggling with aziraphale's name right now
we'll start with what could easily pass as a nickname. he is a. fell after all:
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next up we have the german variant:
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not too bad. an attempt was made. but how about...
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flattering I guess? and not entirely accurate because this bitch been failing for millennia (affectionate). may I introduce you to:
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alright we're starting to drift into nonsense territory now. let's see wha-
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well now you're not even trying
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I DON'T KNOW, IS THERE??
and we'll end on what I can only assume is crowley's super-secret private name for aziraphale, reserved only for extremely horny diary entries:
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yeah I bet you do
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torentialtribute · 6 years ago
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Hard to warm to VAR’s cold and clinical offside calls
References are baffled. How can fans not like VAR if it makes the right decisions? Well, that's the problem. Football has never worked on offside to the nearest millimeter. It has worked on looking and especially feeling. What feels good, what feels good – and not this super accuracy.
So although Mark Clattenburg is absolutely correct to say that offside is so much a black and white issue as the ball crossing the line – you are on or off, on or off – that was not how the game got earlier played or observed.
VAR was intended to correct obvious and obvious errors and in the case of offside, fans believed that this meant cases of obvious infringement, with some daylight missing between attacker and last defender by the linesman.
It seems terrible that the goal of Raheem Sterling was excluded by an inch for offside
Yet clear and obvious does not apply to offside, because references explain that it is unconditional. So players are now being sidelined who were previously classified as a level. And level was a myth. There is no such thing as level if we slow down the action frame by frame, because a player always has a part of his body fractionally in front of the opponent. Nevertheless, level was an important part of our reasoning about football.
If players were largely in line, it was considered legal. In fact, it was considered fair because it then introduced the idea of ​​benefit of doubt to the attacking party, and who doesn't want that?
So when Raheem is Sterling, by our now obsolete concept of fair play, level, it seems terrible that an unseen, unheard of official calculates that, yes, his shoulder is an inch ahead and illegal.
Yet that is what technology was always going to achieve as soon as motion could be measured perfectly degrees. Level was doomed. Think of horse racing. Consider the hundreds of races that take place every day in Great Britain. Now multiply that all over the world. Consider how many races there are more than a decade.
In the UK alone, there have been around 100,000 races in the last 10 years. Expand this worldwide and there have probably been a million horse races since August 2009, possibly more. And how many dead heats, races in which two horses cannot be separated and really considered to be a level, have there been?
The webpage dedicated to the subject lists 13. There are probably some missing. It probably only describes races that were remarkable and reported, not a single bumper at Hereford in 2014.
Nevertheless, the level, relative to the number of events, is not so frequent that it can even be called unusual. We are talking about Halley's comet. And this is the consciousness in which football was invested, in which the concept of justice was based. That players are regularly equal. They are not.
But it will still take some adjustment to consider our hyperclinical reality justice.
Technology would do this, but it's hard to warm up for the cold and clinical offside calls from VAR
WORKING ON SHOOT! WAS A FUN FROM THE PAST …
It's been 50 years old this Friday since Shoot! magazine was published for the first time. By the time it shifted online, there were 1,717 publications. I wrote for a few of them. When I started at Hayters Sports Agency in 1983, Shoot! was a regular commission.
They chose a topic and we would get as many people in football as we could to discuss it. We were all children at Hayters. We didn't know many famous football players. So there was a book with office contacts in which we would pool our numbers. And football people were generous with them in those days.
You could literally call Kenny Dalglish at home – no cell phones – and ask if he wanted to earn $ 25 to write a one-off column for a regional newspaper. He did that too. These were different times. The problem with the common contact book was of course that every new journalist was seized and exhausted by every young journalist in the room.
So someone would pick up Mark Lawrenson's song because Liverpool had played Rangers in Queens Park, and in the following week he would get three Shoot! features, an FA Cup preview for the Crystal Palace program and two columns in the Hemel Hempstead Post.
This misguided eagerness led to a conversation with snooker impresario Barry Hearn who, when he heard who was on the line, started: & # 39; Van Hayters? You know, son, I had never heard of Hayters last week. Now every time I pick up the phone, it fucks Hayters. & # 39;
Suffice it to say, readers of Shoot! magazine remained unaffected if Barry thought that additional television broadcast would harm football.
WHY LUKAKU THE TOP-SIX TEST FAILS
The first goal that Anthony Martial scored for Manchester United was against Liverpool. The introduction of Marcus Rashford in the home game was marked by two against Arsenal. Both have scored against every other member of what is called the Big Six – Manchester City, Tottenham, Liverpool, Arsenal and Chelsea.
Martial has three against Chelsea, two against Liverpool and Arsenal and one against Tottenham and City; Rashford has three against Chelsea, two against Arsenal, City and Liverpool and one against Tottenham.
Goals in the biggest games determine the world class striker. Romelu Lukaku scored once against elite domestic opposition in two years at United. He scored four in a friendly game against Serie D in his first game for Inter Milan; but then he would do it, wouldn't he?
Romelu Lukaku didn't score close to enough big-game goals … but he got four against Serie D-side
A break from tradition for football Competition with second round of Carabao Cup tonight, they're going to have it on a soccer field.
REMOVED FOR SENDING A TEXT? HOW DARE THEY …
Now, not only those who have paid to get into it stadiums are often the least aware of the most important events of the match, they run the risk of being expelled to become orpen when they try to find out.
Daniel Mawer, a Hull fan who attended the lecture on Saturday with Reading, SMS & # 39; te pals about the competition as it unfolded. some of them. It is the modern world. Usually, he says, he discussed Tom Eaves' new hairstyle with his girlfriend. Sounds a classic, match and hairstyle.
Anyway, during the rest, he was confronted with security that almost accused him of sending information for gambling purposes. Mawer was threatened with expulsion from the ground – a somewhat counterproductive movement seen Hull was viewed by the third lowest league rise since moving to KCOM Stadium in 2002.
A fan sms & # 39; about the new hair of Tom Eaves and was accused of sending information for gambling
Apart from the fact that the club updates on the state of affairs faster than any fan tweet, how dare they? Mawer enjoyed a common experience, in contact with friends or family who could not be there. That's part of it. And there are other reasons why fans also text & # 39;
This was not a match on television, but fans of the big games often just want to find out about a controversial phone call from a friend with access to a repeat of an action. Could they also be turned off? To obtain clarification about a competition they have paid to watch?
The heavy-handed steward was from a global security company from Israel, Comsec, who is employed by Football DataCo, the organization that licenses the intellectual property of football – such as calendar lists and statistics – to the media.
The Football League has since apologized to Mawer – although nothing from Hull yet. But perhaps it is the sport itself that owes fans its apology. They are increasingly treated as if the game is doing them a favor, but without them it is nothing.
NOT BAD FOR STARTERS, STEVE
The last 13 home games from Newcastle against Arsenal have yielded one win and eight defeats. The only win came on April 15, 2018, 5 days before Arsene Wenger announced that he was retiring as manager, with Arsenal on a low fire.
So although it wasn't the winning start, Steve Bruce might have hoped on Sunday, nor is it a reason for great despondency.
Other competitions will give a test of where Newcastle lives this season.
Steve Bruce did not get off to a good start, but Newcastle rarely got a good start result at home in Arsenal
CAN THE PALACE OF ZAHA & REPEAT LOVE?
Given that Neymar was greeted by a banner with the desire to leave him from Paris Saint – At the weekend there was a big surprise that Wilfried Zaha was greeted warmly by fans of Crystal Palace on Saturday.
Not only was he booed because he was trying to force a move to Everton, the locals actually sang his name and begged coach Roy Hodgson to introduce him from the substitute's bank. But what option did they have?
PSG could win the competition without Neymar, but Palace could fall without Zaha, and the fans know it. At the moment they still hope that there is a chance that he will change his mind and decide to stay. Making Selhurst Park inhospitable would just as well force him out the door.
The mood of West Ham fans against Dimitri Payet was initially similar. They hoped to make him fall in love again. Only when his behavior became disruptive and disrespectful and it became clear that he wanted to leave everything, did the atmosphere change. And it will happen to Zaha if January causes more problems.
Regarding the deal itself, Palace never made a decision. Arsenal's offer was risky and did not improve, and for all hullabaloo around the Everton deal it did not move beyond the original £ 52 million.
Zaha is worth considerably more than that for Crystal Palace. He may wonder why he is not for Everton before confusing it with the movement of his dreams.
Wilfried Zaha was warmly greeted by Crystal Palace fans despite transfer request
STILL TRACKS IN ERIKSEN LIMBO
Christian Eriksen can still leave Tottenham this summer. However, the club no longer has time to replace it. English football got away early last year with the closing of the transfer period, but may not be so lucky in the coming weeks.
Paul Pogba still does not talk like a player from Manchester United, the future of Eriksen is vague. If a large offer arrives, there may be problems.
United has dug up more than Pogba all summer, but Mauricio Pochettino has a notoriously short fuse with players who want to leave the club. He only introduced Eriksen in Saturday's game with Aston Villa when it became possible that Tottenham would open their season with a home defeat.
Pochettino is one of three leading managers – Pep Guardiola and Jurgen Klopp are the others – who believe that the unilateral closure of the Premier League window is a mistake. They are right. It makes English clubs vulnerable if a simple men's agreement on domestic transfers would have been sufficient.
Of course it is counter argument that Tottenham and United could just say no to late movements from Europe. But that was the case anyway, without placing their company in a straitjacket.
Christian Eriksen can still leave Tottenham this summer but the club can't replace him
Andy Carroll says he has unfinished business in Newcastle. That is the problem. He has unfinished things everywhere. In Liverpool, where his career never really started; in West Ham, where he spent much of his injured time.
Perhaps the encouraged Newcastle contract will provide the necessary motivation.
Carroll is supposed to earn a basic weekly wage of £ 20,000, with a bonus of £ 70,000 per start. And a void further if he does not justify these numbers for his season.
BOLTON RELEASED BY EFL BASSINI
Laurence Bassini may have only temporarily delayed Bolton's sale last week, but the fact that he is still chasing the club badly in the Football League.
This is a man who has been declared twice twice in seven years – which takes some effort – and has been banned from holding a position of authority at any Football League club for three years in relation to his team in Watford.
But here he is, while stopping Bolton & # 39; s acquisition by the Football Ventures Consortium, a list of Bolton & # 39; s joint manager, Paul Appleton, described as outrageous and disgusting.
Phil Parkinson, the manager of Bolton, was lamentable after the weekend draw with Coventry. & # 39; Mr. Bassini, leave us alone, & # 39; he begged. "Please leave this great club alone to build on the future."
Still, Bassini is a vengeful man who sent glowing text messages to the local newspaper when Watford lost a final play-off in 2013. He
Parkinson's should face it instead the Football League, which has somehow made Bassini active to its utmost disadvantage around English football.
The Football League has Bolton abandoned by the fact that Laurence Bassini is still chasing the club
Tom Heaton ended on the losing side for Aston Villa on Saturday – but he again looked at a potential England goalkeeper, even one No. 1 if the shape of Jordan Pickford falls.
After closing time after four years of preparation, trial and error, Eddie Jones's extensive World Cup team consists of one member, Ruaridh McConnochie, who has never been capped. He is a utility player, always valuable in tournaments, yet he is not the biggest sign.
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soundcheckentertainment · 8 years ago
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Arnprior’s John Street Pub was pounding with hard rock music on Friday night, presented by four bands bringing different but complimentary rock genres to the venue. Headliners One Bad Son and their tour mates Say Yes dropped into town, supported by local Ottawa bands Eagleson and Crossing Jane.
The running joke of the night was how hot the temperature was in the bar, each band mentioning it at least once during their set. Bassist Michael Zane of Say Yes promptly removed his shirt two songs into his performance, and one fan yelled “take it off” to One Bad Son’s vocalist Shane Volk after he made a comment about the heat. The audience even briefly started chanting “we want A/C” during a break in One Bad Son’s set.
The night was somewhat politically charged as well, with Say Yes drummer Jordan Hastings sporting a t-shirt with Donald Trump and the words “Dirty Fucker” on it. One Bad Son’s Shane Volk introduced their track It Ain’t Right by saying that Trump was keeping the song relevant.
Eagleson performs at the John St. Pub in Arnprior photo Erick Sodhi
The show opened around 9:00pm with Eagleson, easily the heaviest and hardest hitting band of the night. The four piece band didn’t waste any time talking, seemingly preferring to let their music speak instead. The message that came across to me throughout their performance was an Orwellian “two minutes hate”, an attempt to incite the audience into a frenzy of passion and rage that was mutually felt by the band themselves. Singer and guitarist Tom Edward put in hard work to rally the troops in the audience, raising his fists in the air periodically as he screamed his lyrics with a raspy edge. Bassist Ryan Wolves was particularly fun to watch, exuding comfort and stage presence as he not only head banged but body banged his way through the set. His face was particularly expressive, plainly demonstrating the fun he was having on stage. The chemistry between Edward and Wolves was also especially evident as they interacted consistently throughout their steady and driving set. By their enthusiasm and persistence in encouraging the audience to come close to the stage, Eagleson engaged the crowd with their gritty and forceful rock anthems, having many audience members head banging at stage front by the end of the short 30 minute set.
Crossing Jane performs at the John St. Pub in Arnprior photo Erick Sodhi
Next up was Crossing Jane, who hit the stage around 9:50pm. The five-piece band played a 30 minute set comprised of both originals and covers, including a heavier, pop-punk cover of U2’s Vertigo. I found it refreshing to see lead singer and frontman Joel Lefebvre uninhibited by an instrument, allowing him to move freely and engage the audience without anything between them. That being said, what really stood out to me about Crossing Jane was their drummer, Andrew Parmelee. Parmelee stole the show with his explosive energy behind the drums, reminiscent of Blink 182’s Travis Barker or Metallica’s Lars Ulrich. Parmelee twirled his sticks, stuck his tongue out, and head banged so hard that it appeared he was in a trance. Equally, I felt entranced watching him, finding it hard to look away. Crossing Jane delivered a performance that was fun and light-hearted, encouraging the audience regularly to sing along and clap their hands. Towards the end of the set, the band slowed it down with Wildman, a song that Lefebvre touchingly dedicated to a friend who had passed away. The band finished strong with a cover of In The End by Linkin Park, highlighted by Lefebvre impressively fingering one of the guitarist’s chords for him as he strummed.
Say Yes performs at the John St. Pub in Arnprior photo Erick Sodhi
The third band of the night, Say Yes, took to the stage around 10:40pm. A three-piece band hailing from Burlington, Say Yes had been accompanying One Bad Son on their Ontario tour, with Arnprior being their second last stop. Say Yes blew me away with their unique brand of rock, standing out as my favorite band of the night. Their set was energetic and lively, their songs were easy to dance to, and they seemed especially relaxed and experienced on stage. Of particular significance were the vocal harmonies between bassist Michael Zane and guitarist Adam Michael. The two complimented each other nicely, sometimes in a call and answer style, and sometimes together in harmony. Due to the nature of a three-piece band, Say Yes had more room on stage and used it well, moving away from their microphones to dance around whenever possible. The band’s stripped down sound also allowed for dynamics and lyrics to be emphasized and well articulated. It was easy to sing along with many of their songs even if hearing them for the first time, particularly the band’s newest single Too Much, Not Enough, during which Adam Michael urged the audience to sing the “whoas” with him. Zane opened the next song, To See The World, with keyboard that made for an ethereal feel, an almost airy or otherworldly vibe that Adam Michael mirrored with echoey guitar and purposeful feedback. It didn’t hurt that the fog machine had started up during their set, adding to the spacey effect of it all and highlighting the song as one of their best. Say Yes presented a fun and fresh sound that I thoroughly enjoyed, their 35 minute set packing a punch that left me wanting more.
One Bad Son performs at the John St. Pub in Arnprior photo Erick Sodhi
Saskatoon natives One Bad Son (OBS) hit the stage around 11:45pm, diving right into the first song of their headlining performance. The dance floor was quickly packed in a way the audience had been hesitant to accommodate the other bands with; it was clear that this was who the crowd had come to see. Unfortunately, luck did not favour One Bad Son for this performance. After their first song, Made in the Name of Rock and Roll, singer Shane Volk announced that he had come down with an illness that prevented him from hitting his trademark high notes. He apologized in advance for his vocals, which he likened to Johnny Cash in that they would be sung much lower than usual. Interestingly, a poster of Johnny Cash graced the wall beside the stage, and the members of OBS were dressed all in black, further invoking the Johnny Cash spirit. During their second song, Year of the Wolf, the bad luck continued for OBS when drummer Kurt Dahl broke his snare drum. Luckily, Crossing Jane drummer Andrew Parmelee was there to quickly provide a replacement. Next, One Bad Son played their new single Raging Bull, with Volk introducing it as their first number two song in Canada. Despite the hard time he was having with his voice, Volk was still engaging to watch, leaning over the monitors to get close to the audience and serenade them. It was clear that Volk had his heart in the performance, even if the rest of his body wasn’t cooperating. Volk was relatively light hearted about it, making fun of himself throughout the performance, and at one point telling the audience that if he died “with good rock and roll people, that [would] be fine by [him].”
Volk left the stage several times throughout the set, but the band continued to play, particularly during a cover of Metallica’s Master of Puppets. They also played a cover of the Talking Heads’ Psycho Killer, starting off with an impressive drum solo by Dahl. Volk asked the audience a few times throughout the set to help him sing, and the audience happily obliged. Volk was clearly thankful for the support, expressing his gratitude several times throughout the hour long set, which ended with Retribution Blues. Volk high-fived crowd members at the front of the stage and announced that he was going to “drink [his] blues away.” It was disappointing to see Volk struggle, and to miss out on his full strength performance, but it was also heartening to see the audience support (someone even bought Volk a shot), and the support from the other bands on the bill. One Bad Son could have easily cancelled their performance, but they chose not to, Volk announcing to the audience that “this is rock and roll, we push through everything.” Volk also promised that next time he comes to Arnprior, he will scream for three hours straight in his eight octaves. I’ve got that in writing now, Volk. We’re going to hold you to it.
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Eagleson
Crossing Jane
Crossing Jane
Crossing Jane
Eagleson
Say Yes
One Bad Son performs at the John St. Pub in Arnprior photo Erick Sodhi
Say Yes
Say Yes
Crossing Jane performs at the John St. Pub in Arnprior photo Erick Sodhi
One Bad Son performs at the John St. Pub in Arnprior photo Erick Sodhi
Eagleson
Crossing Jane
One Bad Son performs at the John St. Pub in Arnprior photo Erick Sodhi
Say Yes performs at the John St. Pub in Arnprior photo Erick Sodhi
Crossing Jane
Say Yes
Eagleson
Say Yes
One Bad Son performs at the John St. Pub in Arnprior photo Erick Sodhi
One Bad Son performs at the John St. Pub in Arnprior photo Erick Sodhi
One Bad Son performs at the John St. Pub in Arnprior photo Erick Sodhi
Eagleson performs at the John St. Pub in Arnprior photo Erick Sodhi
Say Yes
One Bad Son performs at the John St. Pub in Arnprior photo Erick Sodhi
Crossing Jane
Eagleson
One Bad Son Shows Arnprior That Rock and Roll Will Always Prevail Arnprior’s John Street Pub was pounding with hard rock music on Friday night, presented by four bands bringing different but complimentary rock genres to the venue. 
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