#apologies for the inaccurate clothes *wipes sweat*

[blemiria]

Knight Primus TL

Hi, quick disclaimer: I'm not perfect at mandarin and could have made mistakes. I am not a translator, I just merely wanted to do my best to share this in english, if there is anything inaccurate I apologize. I got it off of the prts wiki here.

This is a dream. Maria thinks.

An unfamiliar MC fixes their clothes, ice cold radiance enshrouds the entire arena, the night sky far away, unnecessarily boxing her in.

She turns back, seeing some battle ready knights. Their silver armour dazzling, the nod their heads towards Maria acknowledging her. A couple of the seniors come forth, reciting a couple vague words. She sees the Grand Knight Russel among them, these aging heroes in their twilight grouped in formation, carrying a shield walking towards her.

Maria recognizes that shield. Engraved upon it the Nearl family emblem, draped in the Nearl family flag, it's a shield that she could not be more familiar with. Maria knows what this entails, panic begins to set in, uncle refuses to be a a Knight Primus, sister also refuses to recognize the modern knight institution, then what should she do?

Or... what does she want to do?

Maria looks around to the four corners. Sister isn't here. Auntie also isn't here. Mlynar, Vogelweide, Kowal, Marcin, none of them are here. She wants to run away, but her reasoning binds her there. This is an important stage, she cannot retreat, no matter her wishes.

The panic pushes Maria to sink into a past. It was a hot workshop, she was giving a new sword for her Margaret. Vogelweide and Kowal were bickering as usual, Zofia was carefully wiping the sweat off her forehead, adjusting her messy hair. Mlynar was at a tree, not far away quietly watching over this all, and on the other side of the road there was also the distant childhood memories of her father, mother, and the old Nearl who left behind their hope in the form of the spear's shadow...

"Henceforth, you are the knight primus of the Nearl family."

Maria accepts the shield, the lonely weight leaving her unsure. She hasn't yet left her previous scene, she still is carefully reading her blueprint, controlling the furnace. She doesn't want to forge the armour that brings people joy, nor does she want to forge the spears meant to be doused in cold blood.

She wants to forge an "ideal." "Ideals" can protect those she loves, can become the source of strength for heroes, can support her, so she doesn't fear the confusion and loneliness to come.

The sound of metal striking metal rings through her ears evermore. Covering joyful cheers, covering honour.

"Maria." A familiar voice gently calls her.

She raises her head, the bustling arena empty with no-one to be seen

[10kiaoi]

The Dragon King and his entourage, arrival at Nurmengard Castle.

For @grimalkinmessor​‘s Dragon King AU.

[likeuntolightnings]

and i believe in love.

so i just got back from watching wonder woman. i’ve cried a lot. my life was changed in the span of a couple hours. i had to write something.

to those who have not seen the movie yet, there will be spoilers, so read on with caution.

gal gadot’s wonder woman and i are not that similar at first glance. diana is a statuesque demigoddess who translates sumerian like it’s no big deal and lifts tons of metal without breaking a sweat. i’m barely bilingual, and after walking a couple blocks i just want to fall into bed and sleep for a year. but diana and i are cut from the same cloth where it matters most.

diana’s innocent conviction, her heedless charging into the “real” world, her indignant reaction when people don’t act the way she expects them to, because she expects them to be better--that’s exactly how i remember being, before that “real” world pushed and folded me into silence and wary resignation. whenever diana demanded of the generals, of her mother, of steve, “how could you say that? how could you let this happen?” she was voicing aloud what i’ve been asking everyone, and myself, all this time, deep down.

people always talk about how heroic characters do what we’ve always wanted to do deep down, but they’ve usually framed it as slaying the dragon, beating the bad guy. i never doubted that sentiment, but somehow i never related to it--until now. diana chafes against dressing conventionally, refuses to be silent in a room full of generals and asserts her opinion, and wants to go immediately to the front where she believes with all her heart she must be. steve can only keep her from causing a debacle by convincing her that by playing along just a little bit, just for now, they can both achieve their goals. and she does play along, just barely.

but they get to the front. she still doesn’t understand the war completely, but she sees its toll. and for her that’s all that matters. she refuses to resign herself to the “world of man” and its resignation, its complacency, its overcomplication, its dithering and its excuses--the world we’ve been told, and have had to accept, as the "real” one that we have to “grow up” and face. right and wrong isn’t always murky water; we’ve just made it that way. diana could see what was right, clear as day, and she made her choice.

the moment she turned around, her hair loose, antiope’s crown on her brow, armor bared, and stepped into no man’s land because she wanted to stop people from being killed, i cried. so many times i wanted to do that, say no and stand up for myself and other people. so many times i was humiliated for trying, or convinced by grownup logic. so this is what you mean when you say heroes do what we always want to do.

we know the whole time that diana’s notion of the war and its cause is inaccurate, her view of the world too black and white, but her brazen confidence that she knows what has to be done incites pity more than scorn, and what drives her is pure altruism, portrayed more convincingly than almost anything else i’ve seen in a long time. to quote dickens, her good intentions were “bent and broken,” but “into a better shape.” the broad strokes of her story are not dissimilar to most others about heroes and coming of age, but what makes it so remarkable is how real it is. most people now, when they hear “realistic,” they think of gritty tales along the lines of homo homini lupus, waxing poetic about how cruel mankind is but glamorizing that cruelty anyway. wonder woman refuses to do the latter.

it’s like the saying goes, you didn’t know you needed it till you got it. this movie was it for me. i laugh in the face of people who don’t like it, or are reluctant to, because it’s female-led, female-oriented, because diana says men are essential to procreation, but unnecessary for pleasure. the movie was almost entirely devoid of the male gaze, critical of the ways sexist men make themselves dominant--when a group of soldiers holler at diana she’s unperturbed, but steve quickly steers her away from them. diana clearly comes to love and care about steve at a level that’s painfully relatable, but he only touches her when she lets him. ludendorff caressing isabel maru’s cheek and taking diana into a dance, forcing them into close proximity with him, are actions portrayed as discomforting and disgusting, as they should be. diana and the rest of the amazons are all tall, beautiful, dressed in amazing fantasy armor--easy on the eye, sure, but the focus isn’t completely on their bodies. when diana fights she makes faces--unattractive ones, because those are the kinds of faces one makes when one fights! twice she takes off normal clothes to expose her armor, and neither instance is treated as an eye candy shot. diana more than holds her own in battle and is highly intelligent, but she can be unsure and insecure. that’s a familiar premise, but this time those faults are believable, not just a way in for the hero to be her emotional crutch, and for the male audience in turn to fantasize that she’ll be vulnerable to them.

and any excuses that the men aren’t treated fairly in the film don’t hold water. steve trevor is not just as a foil to diana but an interesting character his own right. the film reverses several cliche scenarios with him--he’s the one caught naked, the one who makes a sacrifice that aggrieves the hero(ine) but reaffirms her convictions--without sacrificing his character. chief is not just a stereotypical native american, sameer gives diana some perspective on people’s complexities, and charlie--oh charlie, how i loved him over the course of the movie--was not as tough as initially claimed, but it wasn’t portrayed as cause for ridicule. i loved that he sang. they were introduced as an almost typical ensemble, but they had moments of vulnerability, and you understood why they did what they did, chief especially. and when they decide to be better as well, to keep going with steve and diana even though steve couldn’t pay them, you can’t help but feel pride and relief. they remind me of the men i do know, complicated and nothing like the ideal masculine i see everywhere else, hurting in ways they can’t always express in the open, but who deserve chances to be happy, to sing, and who do their best to be good people when push comes to shove.

these are hard times. people always say it, no matter what the time is, but i guess it’s because it’s always true. it’s so easy to slip into grimdark pessimism and just stay there. saying you believe in love sounds cheesy now, something a storybook hero says. but love--selfless, boundless love; the kind you feel when you see a puppy or a sunset; the kind you feel when your best friend laughs or a stranger thanks you in earnest for helping them; the kind that compels people to assemble in the streets to demand justice for themselves and others; the kind that makes you swallow your pride and apologize, and change; the kind that helps you forgive. that kind of love. how can you go wrong by believing in that?

when the movie ended and the lights came on, i went to the bathroom and wiped my face. as i washed my hands i looked in the mirror, at my thick dark hair, falling in curls. diana, i thought. i kinda look like wonder woman. it was a funny thought, but it made me giddy. i’m kinda like wonder woman. i can be like wonder woman. i might be too old to idolize fictional characters, but seeing someone like diana--unapologetically feminine, loving, honest, the way i always wanted to be deep down--well, it’s hard not to hope i can still be all of that. and what a relief, that girls now and in the future know they can be like that.