#applies everything to stobotnik somehow

[alchemocha]

What is running a tumblr if not to tag dramatic quotes as your faves

[alchemocha]

6am and I am thinking about sad stobotnik things

Thinking about the whole ‘doomed by the narrative’ trope but it applies to both of them. What if they realized, what if they had to face it or admit that despite everything, there was no winning for them. At best they live in denial and the cycle repeats. At worst they die trying.

Maybe there’s a brush with death, an experience far too close to the brink for comfort. Robotnik is the one having the crisis over it first. Not over himself, per say, but Stone. That one of these days he could lose him for good, that Stone could lose him for good, too. That they didn’t know how much time they had this way; doomed no matter what.

It hits him once, around Christmas one year, during the quiet after a holiday flavoured tirade about how nonsense the sentiments and festivities are. Notions such as loved ones and family. And he see’s Stone just humming around the base and setting up little decorations despite it. It’s like a chord striking his heart and it almost makes him panic. He’d never stopped to consider losing all of this—that he was blind to his own sentimentality for this closeness all along.

It’s not as manic or crazed as one might expect, when Robotnik instead nervously expresses to Stone that he wishes to… celebrate with him after all. Wishes to understand. Because the future is an unknown variable and he realizes he doesn’t want to lose his chance with Stone, to take something he always desired for granted when he finally had it. Stone is gentle. Thrilled about his change of mind, but gentle. The doctor is nervous, which was a rarity itself, and almost scared, which was even more rare. Stone can’t say he felt much different though.

Their work was dangerous, it was risks they knew going in, and truthfully he would accept whatever allowed him to remain by the doctors side until the end. So while they do enjoy this Christmas together, there’s a little while where they spend it in quiet, solemn solitude between them, and they talk about it. That things could end any moment; things could theoretically, blow up in their faces, despite all they do. Neither of them, at that point, wants to die before experiencing each other’s love, wholly. To be together and live while they can, together.

So that Christmas Eve, they spend it doing everything ridiculously corny and sappy they can, and each of them, finds that it’s the happiest they’ve ever been. Even if that ‘what if’ lingers in the backs of their minds—the edge of knowing your life could be over in a moments notice because the people you work for see you as nothing but a tool, and the fate you were served is somehow almost worse. The fights are still ongoing. Only growing worse.

And for the first time he could recall, Robotnik was overwhelmed by emotion. They kissed at the stroke of midnight, like it was their last, and he cried, a little bit—more like sobbed, really. That first escaping tear was the opening of the flood gates. He choked and sobbed, and hell, begged Stone to never leave him. He told Stone none of it mattered without him so why were they running to their inevitable executions?

When things were calmer, the two bundle up in front of Stone’s fireplace, with Robotnik in an ugly sweater and tucked between Stone’s legs. The night had already scandalized his dignity and closely guarded vulnerability, and who knew what the next week would bring, so he let himself be doted on; let himself be the little spoon and just… enjoy what he’d wanted so long. For once, the two of them felt truly happy in the moment, blissfully forgetting about the terror of an unknown fate ahead.

Maybe that time next year they’d both be gone. Maybe they’d be nothing but living ghosts of the past. So they’d seize each moment, just for the two of them.