#arcadianLuminary

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 26, Get Off the Lawn

[The PARTY TRAIN is a-rolling... and given the sort of situation at and, they've officially reached a time when it's now-or-never. Indeed, the white house lawn-- and much of the DC area-- has been overtaken by massive, colorful circus tents, and BRIGHT, with BRIGHT, SHINING SPOTLIGHTS. Rolling up on this in Jeff's tiny train, it's amazed they aren't run over by what amounts to a media circus-- news vans and camera crews are practically EVERYWHERE, an enormous crowd of people behind velvet ropes and leaning over to watch the small trickle of juggalos entering the circus tents, surrounding the literal circus with a media circus. Despite this, there is no line for entrance to the carnival itself, the dark labrynth of twisting tents and attractions having only a single vendor jamming to horrorcore and a whole heap of INTERVIEWERS looking for a HOT SCOOP.]

[ It's a hell of a scene to look at from a distance. The white house itself isn't even visible beyond the DARK CARNIVAL.]

DAVENFORTH: -Peeps this.- What the shit actually

QIRIN: ... 

QIRIN: I have not yet determined whether a lack of a welcome party is good news or not.

PENNY: yeeeeeeeeEEEEHAW.

ROXANNE: -Euugh, she didnt really mind clowns until this very moment.-

[ Fortunately there are no clouns in IMMEDIATE sight. Just clown-adjascents.]

JEFF: =SWEATING SO MUCH and stays right where he is=

PENNY: -she's made up in clown paint and shit too, rattling her car. she's ready to be rowdy.-

PENNY: -NOT LIKE THEY CAN INFILTRATE REALLY GREAT AFTER BROADCASTING THEMSELVES BUT HEY. MAYBE.-

DEREK: -he's with you, penny... both in attitude and attire.-

KURLOZ: =takes one look around, scrunches up his nose=

[ The current question is: Who is in some kind of disguise, clown makeup or otherwise, and who is not? THE OTHER QUESTION is how close are they getting to the entrance? There is a clear path straight down the middle to the entrance-- with the only landmines being a few reporters and papparazos, and only the occasional fully-garbed Juggalo strides confidently through the entrance.]

RILEY: -this is some bullshit but they have to blend in. And she also refused to stay back by herself. So you win some and you lose some.- holy fuck.

DAVENFORTH: -He's wearing a latex Donald Trump mask. The biggest clown of them all-

RILEY: -DAAAAAAAMN-

ROXANNE: -Most people are getting down with the clown disguise and she is no exception, this is a serious mission despite the smile painted onto her face.-

QIRIN: =She loves you Davenforth, but she can't help but make a face at that mask=

DAVENFORTH: -Well if no one else is getting out, he is. Hello. This is gonna be yuuuuuuuge.-

REPORTER:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P5qbcRAXVk

REPORTER: -This one troll is scampering up for the FIRST and HOTTEST scoop-

REPORTER: We;; HE;;O and WE;COME to this historic occasion!

REPORTER: Wou;d you be wi;;ing to answer a few questions? For AMERICA?

DAVENFORTH: Anything for america of course no one loves america more than me if anyone claims as such theyre lying so many people ask me how can you love america and i tell them america is just so wonderful ill show you how much i love america its just the best

ROXANNE: -Davenforth plz.-

RILEY: -she's gonna lose it at this answer so she has to carefully cover her mouth and not mess up her make-up at the same time. Fucking ridiculous-

DEREK: Can I get a whoop whoop for America?

QIRIN: =She wants all this over with so she can get this horrific layer of oil off her face= QIRIN: Whoop whoop!

REPORTER: We;; A;; give a whoop whoop for America! -Makes sure she's in frame as a tubby cameraman holds up a few recording devices with telekinesis. HE LOOKS INCREDIBLY DISINTERESTED IN THIS WHOLE PROCSES.- REPORTER: Te;; the country how EXCITED you are to be taking part of the judicia; process in the first ever, hands-on pub;ic execution of justice on this FORMER;Y backwards world!

ROXANNE: -Stay strong Riley. She is also hoping off the train.- Whoop, lets go 'Murica!

PENNY: WHOOP WHOOOOOP!!!!

DAVENFORTH: Ill tell you this never again will there be so many whoop whoops the amount of whoop whoops today will just be staggering theyre all going to wonder why so many whoops were not had before and ill tell you the american will whoop again they will whoop like they never did before thank you so much

LIFERA: -she, too, is in clown makeup... and made up to look way more purple than she actually is.- 38D

RILEY: -fuck. - whoop fuckin' whoop.

REPORTER: -she is just plain FLABBERGASTED by this man's charisma-

PENNY: -leans and whispers to Qirin- (whats she mean public execution?)

QIRIN: =has a feeling that some pyropes would not take too kindly to the public execuction of justice of any kind= QIRIN: =just..again= Whoop whoop!

HIGHBLOOD: =Gets his bigass on up out here, picking his fangs=

QIRIN: (It is likely exactly what she means.)

REPORTER: One ;ast question! Are you hoping for a seat on the cabinet? Or are you just here for the exhuberant and divine joy of mass mu-- OH GOOD HEAVENS!

REPORTER: (ARE YOU GETTING HIM IN FRAME? GET HIM IN FRAME, ASSHOLE.)

REPORTER: -the other one pans up a bit to look at the Highblood's BIG OLD FACe.-

HIGHBLOOD: =HE'S A FRESH 600 SWEEPS MAYBE=

DAVENFORTH: Look at my my highblood caste friend over there just look at him look at my purple american friend

REPORTER: Ahahaha! Yes indeed, America! You are seeing it here first and best!

REPORTER: Even dishonored expatriates are eager to win their p;ace in the New America! REPORTER: I'm assuming that you are hoping for a spot on the cabinet, but-- oh!

REPORTER: Any statements you'd ;ike to make?

REPORTER: -HOLDS THE MIC UP TO GHB-

LIFERA: -really close to GHB... she is not comfortable now that the camera is in their direction...-

LIFERA: >38D;;

HIGHBLOOD: =Looks down at this reporter troll= HIGHBLOOD: ...... =leans on down, slowly, covering this tiny fish with his hair probably= HIGHBLOOD: hah HIGHBLOOD: haha...hahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! =Big booming laughter, she don't even need the mic for this= HIGHBLOOD: =straightens up, lifts hand= no further inquiries sis. =strides his ass on=

REPORTER: -CLEARLY UNNERVED AND FORCING A FAKE SMILE-

DAVENFORTH: What an articulate speaker there he goes my clown american friend give it up everybody

REPORTER: ..... (:C

ROXANNE: -Dammn big clown, you go.-

LIFERA: -DOES SOME KIND OF DIMISSIVE HAND SIGN FROM UNDERNEATH THE HAIR. It's about all that can be seen of her as she strolls along-

[ The other seem to be TRYING to get an interview, but the circus itself beckons, and they're all a TEENSY bit intimidated by GHB's presence.]

DEREK: Much clown love from that jolly motherfucker amirite?

DAVENFORTH: -Falls in line with GHB- DAVENFORTH: You alright magilla

PENNY: hell motherfuck yeah my ninja. -leans against Derek with an entire bottle of Faygo.-

HIGHBLOOD: :o) HIGHBLOOD: alls am gonna get right and recalibrated

RILEY: -they're way too good at this-

RILEY: -sticks with lifers tho-

RILEY: -or you know...lifera-

PENNY: -IT'S TWO WHOLE LITERS.-

DAVENFORTH: Im calibrated get me and my bro a big enough distraction and ill get the rest taken care of

ROXANNE: -Shes trailing behind Davenforth to make this a clown entourage.-

[ The ticket taker, too busy jamming to bother stopping them or even explaining anything, could PROBABLY be hassled with a determined effort, but they could also slip right past if they didn't care about this guy's shit. ]

HIGHBLOOD: dones is done and done

HIGHBLOOD: =Would killing him be a determined effort=

[ no man he's pretty easy to kill ]

PENNY: -squeezing past and also quipping at the reporter now- yeah tell yallselves the fams gonna party real hard tonight. HATCHETS HIGH IN THE SKY.

DAVENFORTH: Thank you my clown american friend

LIFERA: -pulls Riley into the hair. join her.-

DEREK: Ill raise my faygo to that juggalette.

RILEY: -OOOOH HAIR TENT-

PENNY: -CACKLES-

RILEY: -it tickles-

DEREK: -CHUGS HIS OWN BOTTLE. its orange obv.-

LIFERA: -whispers to her- (Stick with me. If it gets dangerfish, I'll protect you.)

HIGHBLOOD: =He's a secret meeting place, good yes=

RILEY: (i'm swooning already. take me away.)

[ The carnival itself-- and oh, fuck, this is kinda dizzying. It's not set up like a regular carnival, with lots of games and attractions and flashing lights to attract attention and tokens, but rather, it's decorated with strung lights and smears of blood on the floor. Most of the blood appears to be human blood, and the lighting seems to turn at a dime from dim to blindingly bright. There are TONS of exits from this one circus tent alone-- at least five-- and it's hard to tell where the others lead to. Notes are scrawled on the canvas in blood, but most of them are extolling the virtues of mass murder, or the first few lines of JUGGALO PRAYERS.]

[ On a less severe note, the place is just sorta grody besides that. Like carnival grody.]

RILEY: ...

ROXANNE: -Nasty.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Makes face atthat scripture on the walls.= :o/

DAVENFORTH: -Stretches a little. Adjusts his tie.-

ROXANNE: -Also moves up next to Davenforth.- (Hey wall building homie. plan of route?) ROXANNE: -She ASSUMES he roughly has some sort of plan...please.-

DAVENFORTH: (They fucked this up a lot more than i thought it may take me a little bit to make out a route play along for now)

PENNY: -strides almost drunkenly along with Derek, but it's all just a ruse. She's just trying to seem nonchalant about this whole thing, eyes half-lidded and grinning, but her heart is pounding. This place is fucking weird.-

ROXANNE: (M'kay.) ROXANNE: (Is it also just me or does this place reek like a compost dump?)

RILEY: -you're doin' good lil sis.-

DAVENFORTH: (Welcome to juggalos lil mama)

DAVENFORTH: -Looks for a high point for him to clamber up and gain a better view-

ROXANNE: (Im already ready ta'say goodbye.) -Keeps smiling besides being anxious as fuck.-

[Tent poles, if he wants to shimmy. Once he gets high enough he can cut a hole in the canvas and peep out of it.]

LIFERA: -GIGGLING at Riley for a moment, but just keeps her hand on her arm and quiets again. That blood everywhere... humans are so fragile. She doesn't want anyone to be hurt here.- (I fish I cod!) LIFERA: (It smells like stale stank.)

DAVENFORTH: (Be right back yall) -Already shimmying up a tentpole-

DEREK: -he's got u penny. he's pretty zen himself, but pumped to be here and do this shit finally. pats the sisters shoulder, but guides the pair of them over to davenforth and roxanne so he can eavesdrop on their whispering-- oh but he ascends.-

DEREK: -bobs while he watches this-

PENNY: -that's not conspicuous at all... just fuckin tips up her two liter of faygo and drinks while watching this. this is normal.-

ROXANNE: -Look at him go.- ROXANNE: -Just gonna lean on that pole a little, its totally chill there is nothing suspicious going on here.-

[YOU KNOW HE LOVES TO SHIMMY]

RILEY: (honestly i've been liking the whole mouth breather thing.)

DAVENFORTH: -Shimmy shimmy coco puff. Shimmy shimmy now. Cutting this tent all up, what's he peepin now?-

LIFERA: (You shouldn't talk about your husband like that.) 38)

[The bright light from the Outdoors streams in through the hole he just cut-- and it's kind of a run, sure, but he can see the white house now that he's got a good vantage.]

DEREK: -damn..................... or should he say dwamn-

[There's actually a decent enough route BETWEEN the tents, if he commits it to memory-- leading right to the front door. It seems like the secret service has been co-opted by carnival attractions, though.]

DAVENFORTH: -Slides down the pole on some cirque de soleil shit-

DAVENFORTH: Alright got it its kind of a jog but nothin too bad lot of tents in the way

ROXANNE: -Steps away from it so he has room to get down.- ROXANNE: Sweet.

DAVENFORTH: -Looks at GHB- Everyone ready

PENNY: say the word homie.

RILEY: -she snorts at that comment lifera makes- (oh shit. nice.)

HIGHBLOOD: =Thumbs up and rolls his shoulders=

ROXANNE: Lets fuck shit up.

LIFERA: -glubs softly and nods! wait. peeks out of the hair and then nods!-

DAVENFORTH: -Pushes through the tent into the actual carnival itself and it's hitting him how fucking....CARNIVAL like this shit is. Oh...-

DAVENFORTH: Anybody like carnival games like i mean just for the record just asking for a friend a cheeto dusted friend

[READY OR NOT, here it comes. And by IT i mean the true nature of the Dark Carnival itself; it is where sinners are taken to be TESTED and learn the DARK MORALS of the joker cards. Indeed-- here's one now! The sinner in question is a human, gagged, blindfolded and tied, atanding underneath some kind of strength-tester machine-- the kind where you hit the lever and a big metal thingy flies up to ding a bell. Set up in such a way that after it goes up, it's going to come straight down on this dude's head, and guarded by a four-foot-five troll who is frankly built with terrifying muscles.-

ROBUSTO: YOU THINK YOU ARE AS STRONG AS ROBUSTO???? PROVE YOUR STRENGTH OR DIE LIKE COWARD-MAN WHO TELLS STATE SECRETS TO FOREIGN POWERS.

LIFERA: !!!

PENNY: -oh god yep here they go.....-

DAVENFORTH: -Whispers a reclaimed racial slur under his breath-

RILEY: (anybody tries to fucking do that shit i'll be the one whackin you over the head.)

HIGHBLOOD: =Ants=

ROBUSTO: -HOLDS UP AN ENORMOUS MALLET. It's wooden and heavy.- WHO WILL TAKE ROBUSTO'S CHALLENGE????

DAVENFORTH: And if we say fuck yourself with that righteous noise

DAVENFORTH: Just checkin for a friend

LIFERA: -soft hissing in this hair. She.... starts shuffling closer to Davenforth.- (Go. Keep going.)

DAVENFORTH: (Lif)

RILEY: - fucking striders-

ROBUSTO: -SQUINTS. And twirls his moustache.-

LIFERA: (Now.)

ROXANNE: -Hhgh. This is already another layer of hell, but also Davenforth dont call attention.-

HIGHBLOOD: testin strength...... HIGHBLOOD: =eyeballs Robusto= we can play this game while y'all check shit it :o)

ROXANNE: -Listen to your fish wife.-

LIFERA: -punches Davenforth in the shoulder and laughs-

DAVENFORTH: -Soft marge noise-

ROBUSTO: A-HA! ROBUSTO: FINALLY. ONE WHO IS NOT WEAK AND COWARD WHO FAILS TO WIN GLORIOUS HONOR OF BLOOD PRIZE DEAD MAN SHATTER SKULL.

ROBUSTO: -shoves the mallet in GHB's hand-

LIFERA: T)(IS MOT)(-ERFUCK-ER TOO WIMPY TO DO IT. G-ET OUTTA )(-ER-E.

RILEY: (jesus christ.)

DAVENFORTH: When that beat hits yall -We book it-

DEREK: -jesus CHRIST indeed-

DEREK: -he's ready to book it... sipping his faygo.-

ROBUSTO: -STRENUOUSLY FLEXES-

HIGHBLOOD: =This mallet is a toothpick isn't it? Look at his ham hands... but he takes it. Snrks=

HIGHBLOOD: =Crouches= :o)

LIFERA: -watches GHB carefully-

ROBUSTO: -FLEXES EVEN MORE-

ROBUSTO: ✨💪✨

RILEY: i would prefer not to have someone's blood on me but you know.

HIGHBLOOD: =Bops Robusto like a field mouse. Right on the cranium bro=

ROXANNE: -Ah, yep. There it is.-

DAVENFORTH: Cheese it

PENNY: -WELL JESUS-

ROXANNE: -Time to book it fellas and lady gents.-

RILEY: -OK BYE-

LIFERA: -WHAT DID SHE SAY ABOUT GETTING OUT OF HERE YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE FOR THIS-

DAVENFORTH: -Bolts to the right and rips through the canvas. White house here we come!-

ROBUSTO: -oh MAN he takes a lump for sure. His head is CRACKED loudly and he holds up a finger in SHEER OUTRAGE- ROBUSTO: COWARD WIGGLER STRIKES ROBUSTO INSTEAD OF RUBOSTUS KILLMAN KILLING... ROBUSTING... ROBUSTO: ROBOTS??? ROBUSTO: -he falls over DEAD.-

DEREK: -throws this sugary shit on the dirty ass ground and flash steps after davenforth-

DAVENFORTH: -Babe I'm already gone. Kanye shrug-

HIGHBLOOD: =EYES the others and opens his arms= now now HIGHBLOOD: what else ams i testin?

ROXANNE: -YOU BOYS AND YOUR FLASH STEPING. She cant do that but she can sure sprint like hell after sending a glance to the rest of the group. Good luck guys.-

PENNY: -aaaaAAAHHHHH. SHAKES UP HER FAYGO FURIOUSLY and DUNKS it on the ground. it goes shooting up like a fucking rocket and sprays the crowd-

[The nearby juggalos murmur and mutter something. A few of them SCAMPER OFF, but a small group brandishes a set of hatchets.]

[Apparently this seems to indicate that they'd tie a rope to their dicks and jump off a building, should the mood strike them, but ALSO, that they think they can Totally take the guy that murdered Robusto.]

DAVENFORTH: -Well he don't wanna leave Rox behind. No flash stepping yet, but he's also sprinting around the perimeter of tents. It's hard to breathe in this Trump mask y'all.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Don't let him talk them out of it. There's gonna be a lot of blood back here as he will grab and squish skulls...sans for One. One he'll voodoo and have murderlate their pals.=

ROXANNE: -That is greatly appreciated.-

LIFERA: -grabs Riley's wrist and drags her behind GHB, toward the fucked up strength tester and the human that's tied up. She sure doesn't need to see this, and while that's happening, they could get this guy outta here-

PENNY: -she's just gonna uhhhh. stay outta GHB's way. yeaahhhh-

[I WILL SPARE U THE GORY DETAILS OF HOW DEAD THE GROUP IS. Except for the one guy hollering and raising his hatchet chasing after the other clowns. The others don't think there's anything fucked up about that, though, that just sorta happens sometimes.]

PENNY:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

PENNY: -she's gonna need to get REAL fucked up after this-

HIGHBLOOD: =He's snickering as this happens, what a bunch of idiots. He's covering the ladies=

RILEY: -IS PULL. Looks up at this tied up Guy. SHES PRETTY GOOD AT UNTYING. Except when she isn't. She's going to do her best- okay dude you're going to run as fast as you can outta here.

LIFERA: B-ETT-ER Y-ET. -She unties the gag around the guy's mouth and the blindfold from his eyes, and then pulls out a little container of greasy black paint, smearing his face with it.- 38)

GUY: -wheezes.- th-thank you. Those people a-are... -TRYING NOT TO FOCUS ON THE GORE OVER THERE- GUY: ... GUY: don't eat the funnel cake. -As soon as he's free he BOLTS.-

HIGHBLOOD: yo what >:o/ HIGHBLOOD: how the fuck they fucked up funnel cake... dumb motherfuckers

LIFERA: Glub...

RILEY: no funnel cake over here.

QIRIN: =She doesnt even know how to comment to all of this=

LIFERA: Ocray... ST-EP BACK.

[It seems that this particular tent is cleared, save for some gruesome reminders. There are three other flaps; one leading back where they came from, near the ticket booth, one branching to the left and one branching to the right.]

LIFERA: -motions the other ladeez to get outta the way before doing a little half lean and then KICKING the strength tester to try to knock it down. NO MORE OF THIS.-

[ IT CRASHES.]

[CLONK]

QIRIN: =claps softly= Property damage, hurrah. ^_^

LIFERA: T)(ANKS.

QIRIN: =high five, lif!=

LIFERA: -SLAP-

LIFERA: Where to now?

[would they like to inspect any passages in particular]

[One leading back where they came, one to the right and one to the left.]

[There is the vague sound of music coming from the right... and the vague sound of someone furiously arguing to the left.]

QIRIN: =is is possible to hear what they are arguing about from here?=

[NOPE]

[u would have to get closer, and 'closer' means probably 'through the passage entirely.']

PENNY: -she's already heading toward the left one....-

[aw shit. If she makes it through, she'd see... well, someone who MAY or MAY not be recognizable to her.]

PENNY: -she's DOING IT.-

PENNY: -waves the others over-

[either way, it's the current secretary of state, one Alex Abbiss. He seems to be shouting down a group of juggalos-- some hatchet-wielding and TERRIFIED fellows who probably just saw Robusto get murdered.]

HIGHBLOOD: =Hey what's up hello, I murdered up your friend and now it's your turn to go=

[It is OBVIOUS that this is an important guy, and as they get closer to the man in a bloodstained jersey with a whole rack of vynyl records strapped to his back, they can hear what he's helling about-- how important he is and how NONE of these goddamned posers are gonna be gunning for HIS job, he MADE the ICP, do you HEAR HIM]

[This changes as he hears them enter, and FLINGS a razor-sharp record at them in a fury.]

PENNY: - SH I T-

PENNY: -JUST TRIES TO DUCK-

[she gets... a SMALL haircut. ]

[He's pulling some more records on them. HE'S READY TO TUSSLE.]

PENNY: -THAT MOTHERFUCKER.-

PENNY: -whips out her gun because... well, it's really the only thing she knows how to use, but it's gonna make a lot of noise...-

LIFERA: -leading Riley along after her??-

[The other juggalos seem to have fallen in rank behind him, because shit, okay, MAYBE they just tried to murder him, but they can also get in good with him if they kill these people? Whatever. IT'S A SURE FIRE RUCKUS HAPPENING, THAT'S FOR SURE.]

QIRIN: =oh hell WHY= QIRIN: =raises her dukes! Her spear is noticable enough that it might blow her cover and that would just put prospit in a (more) precarious situation.=

ERIDAN: -some masquerade masked fish is rolling into the scene. Literally rolling in on an actual unicycle somewhere under the flashy cape he's wearing. A relic from a time he used to be proud to wear such a thing.- ERIDAN: -Hey, Penny. He's here and swinging out a LAUNCHER of some kind. They'll find out what it does in the second he fires it.-

PENNY: -THE FUCK???-

[Don't worry boys, clustering up together in a tight group is the BEST kind of tactics.]

[The juggalos all agree with that sentiment.]

LIFERA: -peeks in for this... the fuck-

PENNY: -she agrees with that sentiment, as it happens-

ERIDAN: -Fires the launcher like he's shooting fish in a barrel. In a single swift PCHOO, it explodes in a thick vault of LIQUID NITROGEN right over the juggalos. The chemical will be freezing on impact with their skin.- B/

[oh FUCK. They start to charge as a group, hatchets HIGH, and then they continue to do so, with their hatchets high, in that EXACT position, possibly FOREVER. They are SUPER DUPER FROZEN.]

ERIDAN: -Owwned.-

ERIDAN: so ERIDAN: the others been on their wway huh looks like it -just kinda balancing there. Just another Thursday afternoon.-

PENNY: ....... dude.

LIFERA: Y-ES. You're about on tide.

[By the look of things, YES. This cut rate Fieri-clone has been put to his end; along with a sizable number of juggaspirants.]

ERIDAN: -pockets the rifle. Safe and sound.- alright ERIDAN: yall finishin the job or should wwe keep pressin wwith the dispatchin ERIDAN: it aint goin to end wwith the death a the figureheads wwe ought to be securin a method a escape

LIFERA: CL-EARING T)(-E WAY. Sounds good to me.

[Behind them, there is suddenly the sound of... sizzling grease?]

QIRIN: =is there an alternate weapon she can grab? perhaps from literal cold, dead hands?=

[Hot oil and something being poured into it-- and though he was not visible there before, he is now.]

VENDOR: You look like you could use some

funnel cakes.

PENNY: oh hell no.

[As for weapons, there are SHARP VINYL RECORDS and HATCHETS to choose from Qirin.]

VENDOR:

FREE OF CHARGE.

ERIDAN: -mghhh. He's hungry suddenly, flicking fins in the direction of the sound.- ERIDAN: -taking out a sniper's rifle now, balanced on his unicycle. B[ -

VENDOR: [He holds out the funnel cake.. towards you, specifically, Eridan.]

VENDOR: [It smells... intoxicating. Literally.]

VENDOR: This... is rare supply. We're running low. Haven't had our shipment from scenic niagra falls.

LIFERA: Don't eat that.

VENDOR: But you can eat it.

VENDOR: Carnival food is pure food, son.

VENDOR: Good... pure... food.

ERIDAN: -Nah thanks. He shoots this fucker and his funnel cake.-

VENDOR: -!

VENDOR: -Frying dough pours out of the hole in his head.-

VENDOR: FOOL!

VENDOR: -Pulls out both fry baskets, brandishing the HOT METAL as the inhuman figure staggers, attempting to LUNGE at him despite his... rapidly spilling vital dough.-

ERIDAN: -pedals backwards with finesse. Pew. Pew. Pat. Pat. Yeah, fine, brandish the hot metal. Eridan is swinging the butt of his rifle to combat this oily fuck.-

VENDOR: -GURGLING AND SCREAMING AS HE COLLAPSES INTO A PUDDLE OF YEAST.-

VENDOR: -DEAD-

[Only the hot grease cart remains.]

QIRIN: ......................

ERIDAN: gross ERIDAN: ... ERIDAN: -flicks a lighter on and eyes the hot grease cart.-

QIRIN: =She came back from retrieving the vinyl records because heck, at least it's like throwing knives.= QIRIN: Either they have been altered to a molecular level or they have found a way to make yeast sentient. I am unsure which prospect is the more disturbing.

[It's pretty tricked out, as far as hot grease carts go. It's also full of boiling hot, flammable liquid, which COULD very well be useful.]

ERIDAN: -Damn... true... slowly puts the lighter away.- wwe got ourselvves a bomb

QIRIN: It may very well be the diversion the others require. =She's inspecting the cart further. Does it have wheels for rollin?=

[IT SURE DOES]

QIRIN: =peeps out the tent flap. Anything downhill? Anything important looking that needs burning?=

[Would that be the tent flap back the way they came from, or the next unexplored tent?]

PENNY: ... a bomb?

PENNY: sounds good.

PENNY: what are we blowing?

QIRIN: =the next=

ERIDAN: good question -squints heavily and considers. All of it would be ideal...- somethin thatll draww the majority of wwhos left for a brawwl ERIDAN: that wway provvidin the means to escape for the others ERIDAN: wwhere the shit is that impregnated twwinkie gobbler

[There is something down the way... something that looks... important. Or at least, important enough. She can only get a glimpse, but it's a pretty popular spot, and the flashing light appears to say PRIZES.]

QIRIN: =Well that settles that= QIRIN: The prize booth calls to us. ^_^ QIRIN: Everyone prepared for vandalism and arson?

PENNY: excuse? -stares at Eridan-

ERIDAN: wwell aint she -Really doesn't see anything wrong with his word choice.- you her wward or not

PENNY: yeah maybe. could also be called a twinkie gobbler.

PENNY: prefer Nuthands McMike though.

ERIDAN: -frowns- i disagree she aint done nothin to earn such a title

[WOULD YOU LIKE EVIDENCE ERIDAN]

ERIDAN: -Yeah sure. He's seen worse shit.-

[oh well he doesn't have any actually]

[go back to rigging ur greasebomb]

ERIDAN: -alright. Moves off the unicycle to cover this stupid grease cart with his cape.- wwere the shit wwe takin this

PENNY: -she's talking about herself u fuck-

PENNY: approximately thattaway. -points to where Qirin indicated-

SOME FUCKIN JUGGALO: oh shit i smell the funnel cake dude

[the voice WAFTS from that direction]

[calling in a siren song]

ERIDAN: -mmm better get this cart moving. Wrings out a hankerchief like BLEH and uses it to get a grip on the handle. Now pushes it along.- ERIDAN: this reeks somethin' awwful

QIRIN: =She smoothly saunters out to the sound of Some Fuckin Juggalo to greet them as the others try workin the cart'=

[It does... like grease, but also some sinister chemicals. And sinister jujus.]

[THE JUGGALO MOSTLY JUST WANTS FUNNEL CAKES.]

[But he is at least blocked from what is to come.]

ERIDAN: -wheels this cart outtie, definitely holding his breath from BREATHING IN THE CHEMICALS. Hello prize booth.-

[There's all kinds of prizes on display: Axes, special stardust, clown facepaint. Essentials.]

[Seems like they're paying in blood tokens, which are, in fact, human ears. Probably from people less lucky than the guy they rescued.]

LIFERA: -She's following as well, ready to punch a clown if necessary.-

PENNY: ... -can she grab one of those axes? are there people around??-

[THERE ARE. Lots of people, actually. Trying to get their prizes. Some of them are now trying to get funnel cakes.]

ERIDAN: -The funnel cake cart is TARPED by cape, you idiots. Can you not SEE.-

[THEY CAN SMELL IT YOU BOGARD]

[BOGART?]

[WHATEVER]

QIRIN: Helllllloooo there! =She does block his way, cocking her hip as she greets the juggalo cheerily!= A miraculous evening to you!

SOME FUCKIN JUGGALO: YEAH POPPIN HOT SHIT NINJETTE WHERES THE DOUGH AT????

PENNY: -aUGH-

QIRIN: Aw man, the line's all clogged up! Some eighth grade history class came for their class trip! Dough guy has gotta feed the next generation, you know what I mean? Ahahahaha!

[The juggalo has NO idea what this fresh pimpin ninjette is going on about. But at least that buys them some room and some time to move the thing.]

RILEY: -she wandered a little too far and got lost... Suddenly panting next to them- holy shit you would not believe-- oh my god what NOW?

ERIDAN: havve at it -whirls the cape off the cart and throws it over Riley.- keep that on wwould you ERIDAN: its durable the kind to ride out lightnin storms through

RILEY: -catches it. Thank you ace reflexes. She puts it on- i'm such a badass.

QIRIN: =are they even done yet? She's waiting for BOOM!= So...while we wait for Boogie Woogie Wu to scare off the tiny children, why do we not exchange pleasantries on this fresh turf?

JUGGALO: :o/

QIRIN: What do you favor? Halls of Illusion or House of Horrors?

JUGGALO: -SLOWLY REATCHING FOR HIS HATCHET-

RILEY: -penny do I need to get my gun-

ERIDAN: -turns his back to riley in a dramatic fashion and arms himself with an assault rifle. All eyes on him, folks.- alright you insatiable GREASE CLOUT FUCKS CLEAR THE MOTHERFUCKIN PATH ERIDAN: -and promptly bombkicks the cart and the whole trap of grease into the crowd.-

MOVVE I SAID

QIRIN: Ah, I see you have a hatchet. You should never run with one...unless you're

running with a hatchet,

amirite? QIRIN: ;)

JUGGALO: -oh shit.- JUGGALOS: -OH SHIT-

[They suddenly bolt out of the way of the HOT GREASE CART-

RILEY: -this is suddenly the most exciting shit she's seen in a while. Gun time.- B)

ERIDAN: -taking this time to line gallons of sparkle fish gasoline by the display stands. Marching like the grimest of military marches. They only really have one shot at this. His glasses glint menacingly at the crowd.- STRIDER -bares fangs- ERIDAN: LETS BLOWW THIS TENTED SHITSTAIN OF A FESTIVVAL

QIRIN: =still distracting this one juggalo if he isn't distracted already. She's going to rinse her mouth with salf water after this=

[HE IS DISTRACTED WITH RUNNING FROM THE EMINENT FIRE]

QIRIN: =Awesome.= QIRIN: =she quickly joins everyone else, more than gently urging everyone back. She has a feeling this will be a fireball.=

RILEY: -WHERE IS PENNY SHES NOT GONNA LEAVE HER-

ERIDAN: -God damn it, STRIDER.-

ERIDAN: -You're back at being the twwinkie gobbler.-

RILEY: -so....you're saying I was promoted? SHES NOT LEAVIN WITHOUT PENNY-

PENNY: -SHE'S COMING SHIT-

RILEY: -YOU BETTER OR IMGONNA DRAG YOUR ASS OUTTA HERE-

LIFERA: -also just gonna keep distance from this shit-

ERIDAN: -brandishing the assault rifle at the crowd. Now that everything is in order, Eridan whirls on the prize tent and begins peppering the gasoline tanks with gunfire. Hasta la vista you salted juggalo fucks.-

JODIE: - She's been GHOSTING away from the main group in full aggrobat regalia, even throwing in a cartwheel or two. yup she totes mgoats belongs here. she's looking for a get away vehicle of some kind. -

RILEY: -LETS GO-

[THAT IS A KABOOM]

[The prize stand goes up in flames. Clown paint and stardust? Flammable.]

[The gasoline tanks goes up in flames. The tent itself? IT IS ON FIRE YOU BET YOUR ASS]

[The smoke is choking but it's spreading WAY too quick across the whole dang long.]

[lawn]

[whatever]

ERIDAN: - 🔥🔥🔥 -

JODIE: - well it looks like things are going well over there. -

[THAT LONG LAWN.]

QIRIN: =shoving people in the away direction. Forgive her lack of being gentle, but if it's spreading, and people are lagging, she'll resort to hupping em under an arm and toting them away.=

JODIE: - Let's see... something not on fire... not on fire... -

[There is a BEAUTIFUL convertible that-- no wait it's on fire. And it was a raffle prize anyways.]

[Looks like the ice cream truck isn't on fire. Don't eat the ice cream though.]

JODIE: - That'll work. She sneaks up and checks the windows to make sure it's empty. She can't be sure about the back though, she'll need to. open it up. Scurries-

ERIDAN: -holding his goddamn breath in all this. Seadweller skills activate. Fuck, his gills are going to burn something fierce in all this smoke.- ERIDAN: -SHOVING HIS SOLDIERS, GO GO GO GO GO. Messaging Jeff and the others stationed outside the premises. There's no going back to the campus after this.-

LIFERA: -DON'T YOU SHOVE ME BOI-

ERIDAN: -THEN GET IN THE ICE CREAM TRUCK QUEENIE. CHRIST.-

RILEY: -SORRY BOUT THE SMOKE RYAN IM TRYIN OVER HERE-

ERIDAN: -At least she has the cape and won't get burned by ash.-

QIRIN: =Helping Riley in the van. She's preggers with an energy consumer, after all.=

JODIE: -KEYS? IF NOT ROLL TO HOT WIRE. This takes her back to 6th grade. -

RILEY: -thanks qirin you are a gem-

ERIDAN: -balancing himself out in the back, ready to defend with one arm on his rifle. HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSES.-

LIFERA: -just kinda joins Eridan there, just in case-

PENNY: -hops up front with Jodie- lets get this shit rollin huh??

QIRIN: ^_^

JODIE: -She's managed to get it WORKING. Ice cream truck noises-

ERIDAN: -side eyes the juggalo ex-empress. Has another moment of disconnecting surrealism.-

[Broom broom. She's in her mum's car.]

LIFERA: 38D

JODIE: bet your sweet ass. everybody in? -

RILEY: yeah! floor it!

ERIDAN: -Still remains... the sound of silence...-

JODIE: haha... ha.... - FLOORS IT. TOWARDS THE WHITEHOUSE. This is her life. -

JODIE: - Not the worst thing she's done with an ice cream truck but at least the worst thing she's done on the white house lawn.-

RILEY: -HOLDING ONTO THE NEAREST PERSON FOR BALANCE-

QIRIN: =It's okay, she's sturdy=

[Once the twins and Roxanne are SECURED, the getaway ice cream truck is now Minnesota bound. For everyone's safety, it's best not to hide out anywhere near here... The campus had been evacuated after the concert, anyway. Just to be safe.]

[adiostauromachy]

-- arcadianLuminary [AL] began trolling adiosTauromachy [AT] at 19:38 --

AL: HELLO AGA1N, TAVROS.

AT: hELLO THERE, uHM, aGAIN, pOSSIBLY,

AT: eVEN IF i AM NOT QUITE CERTAIN WHO THIS IS, tHAT i AM SPEAKING TO,

AL: OH R1GHT. WHOOPS1E.

AL: 1T'S ME, TAKODA!

AT: oH UH, yES i REMEMBER SEEING YOU BEFORE,

AT: sO THE GREETING OF SEEING ME AGAIN, wOULD BE APPROPRIATE, hEH,

AL: YES, 1 THOUGHT SO TOO. G1VEN THE WORD USAGE, 1N THE F1RST PLACE.

AL: BUT HEY!

AL: HOW ARE YOU DO1NG? }:)

AT: yES, wHAT i WAS DOING WAS UH, cOMPLIMENTING YOU ON THE WORDING, tHAT YOU AIMED AT ME,

AT: i AM DOING PRETTY WELL, tHANK YOU,

AT: i MEAN,

AT: aSIDE FROM ME FEELING LIKE i SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING, fOR MY AWKWARD BEHAVIOR UPON SEEING YOU LAST,

AL: UHH, AWKWARD?

AL: WERE YOU BE1NG AWKWARD?

AL: 1 D1DN'T REALLY NOT1CE.

AT: oH,

AT: wELL, iF THAT IS THE CASE, tHEN YOU MIGHT CONSIDER THAT FEELING OF APOLOGY GONE,

AT: bECAUSE MAYBE i AM JUST REMEMBERING MY OWN BEHAVIOR IN A WRONG SENSE, lOOKING BACK AT IT,

AL: YES, MAYBE. BUT MAYBE YOU WERE ALSO NERVOUS, AT THE T1ME.

AL: NOT ABOUT MEET1NG ME, SPEC1F1CALLY, BUT MEET1NG A BUNCH OF NEW PEOPLE, AT ONE T1ME.

AT: tHAT, uHM, iS ACTUALLY MAKING SENSE TO ME,

AT: bECAUSE THERE WERE A LOT OF THINGS HAPPENING, oR UH, pEOPLE, hAPPENING AT THE TIME, tHAT i WAS HAVING SOME KIND OF EMOTIONAL CONFLICT ABOUT SEEING,

AT: bUT, iT'S NOT IN A BAD WAY, jUST UH,

AT: sORTA WEIRD, wOULD BE THE WORDS TO USE ABOUT IT,

AL: ARE YOU POSS1B1LY REFERR1NG TO YOUR SPR1TE COUNTERPART?

AT: yEAH, aND UHM,

AT: tHE OTHER SPRITE, tHAT i ALSO WITNESSED, wAS SOMEWHAT CONFUSING,

AT: sINCE SHE WAS A SPRITE MADE OUT OF MY QUADRANTS, tHAT i HAVE,

AL: }:o

AL: 1 DON'T KNOW WHO THAT 1S.

AL: OR WHO YOUR QUADRANTS ARE, ALSO.

AL: NOT THAT 1 WOULD, S1NCE WE ONLY JUST MET, BUT,

AL: THOSE ARE TH1NGS 1 WOULDN'T M1ND KNOW1NG ABOUT YOU, BECAUSE TYP1CALLY PEOPLE L1KE TALK1NG ABOUT THE1R QUADRANTS.

AT: iF YOU DON'T MIND HEARING ME TALK ABOUT IT, tHEN UH, i WOULDN'T MIND TELLING YOU, sO THAT YOU CAN BE KNOWING ABOUT IT,

AT: tHE SPRITE WAS A PINK ONE, aND SHE HAD TAKEN THE COMBINED FORMS OF MY MATESPRIT, aND MY MOIRAIL, aT THE SAME TIME,

AT: tHOSE BEING NEPETA LEIJON, aND FEFERI PEIXES, uH, iF YOU HAVE SEEN THEM AROUND, eVER,

AL: WOW!! YES, 1 CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD FEEL CONFUSED, ABOUT ENCOUNTER1NG SUCH A PERSON.

AL: 1 CAN'T SAY 1'VE MET E1THER OF THEM YET, THOUGH 1 DO SORT OF KNOW THEM.

AT: iT WAS PRETTY CONFUSING, aND SHOCKING, wHICH IS WHY i MUST HAVE FELT LIKE i WAS BEING AWKWARD, sINCE MY MIND DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS REVELATION, aT THE TIME,

AT: oH, yOU DO?

AT: yOU PROBABLY WOULD THOUGH, i REALIZE, sINCE YOU ARE ALL VERY INFORMED, aBOUT LOTS OF MATTERS, i AM THINKING ANYWAY,

AL: YES, 1 DO L1KE TO KEEP ON TOP OF 1MPORTANT 1NFORMAT1ON, SUCH AS NAMES OF PEOPLE, 1 WOULD L1KE TO BEFR1END.

AL: WH1CH 1S PRETTY MUCH EVERYBODY!

AL: SO, 1 ACQUA1NTED MYSELF W1TH THE CREW OF YOUR SH1P, BY V1RTUE OF YOUR HANDY ROSTER.

AT: tO BE HONEST, i AM NOT SURE IF YOU WOULD EVEN NEED TO HAVE PREVIOUS KNOWLEDGE ABOUT PEOPLES NAMES, iN ORDER TO BEFRIEND THEM, bECAUSE YOU ARE REALLY EASY TO TALK TO, aCTUALLY,

AT: wHEN i AM NOT BEING OVERWHELMED DRASTICALLY, bY SHOCKING EVENTS,

AL: OH YES, 1 HAVE GOTTEN THAT 1MPRESS1ON, FROM THE ONES 1 HAVE SPOKEN TO.

AL: BUT 1'M GLAD TO KNOW THAT 1S A TH1NG, BECAUSE 1T'S 1MPORTANT THAT YOU ARE ALL CLOSE.

AT: yES, i THINK THE CLOSENESS AMONGST THE PEOPLE, oN THE SHIP AND OVERALL UH, iN A GENERAL SENSE, iS PRETTY IMPORTANT,

AT: bECAUSE IF EVERYONE ARE GETTING ALONG, tHEN THERE WOULD BE NO FIGHTING,

AT: aND SUCH THINGS, nOT HAPPENING SO OFTEN, aS THEY SOMETIMES DO,

AL: YEAH! F1GHT1NG HAPPENS SOMET1MES, EVEN W1TH PEOPLE WHO ARE CLOSE, BUT WHEN YOU ARE CLOSE 1T'S EAS1ER TO COME TO UNDERSTAND1NGS.

AL: AND 1 JUST TH1NK THAT'S A GREAT TH1NG TO BE. UHH, 1 MEAN, THAT YOU ALL CAN ST1CK TOGETHER.

AL: 1N T1MES SUCH AS THESE.

AT: i HOPE THAT WILL BE THE CASE, aT LEAST, tHAT THINGS WILL COME EASIER TOGETHER IN THE FUTURE,

AT: bECAUSE THINGS BEING EASIER ON EVERYONE, oVERALL, wOULD BE BEST RIGHT NOW, uHM, sINCE THINGS ARE DIFFICULT,

AL: 1 BEL1EVE 1N YOU GUYS. }:)

AL: AND THAT YOU W1LL BE OKAY.

AT: hEH, tHANKS FOR BELIEVEING SO, iT MAKES IT EASIER TO BELIEVE IN THAT ALSO, wHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE DOING IT AS WELL,

AT: i'LL BELIEVE IN THE SAME FOR YOU GUYS,

AT: bECAUSE i KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING MUST BE VERY DIFFICULT, iN A LOT OF WAYS,

AL: YES, 1T 1S. BUT WELL, WE'VE BEEN AT 1T A WH1LE, SO 1 GUESS WE'RE K1ND OF USED TO 1T?

AL: WH1CH 1 MEAN, 1N A GOOD WAY. WE KNOW HOW TO HANDLE 1T, AND HOW TO WORK W1TH EACH OTHER.

AL: AND 1T TAKES T1ME, BUT WE'RE A TEAM.

AL: SO 1 KNOW THAT THE SAME W1LL HAPPEN W1TH YOUR CREW, 1F YOU GUYS DON'T ALREADY FEEL THAT WAY.

AT: tHAT SOUNDS REALLY GREAT ACTUALLY, eSPECIALLY FROM THE WAY YOU PUT IT,

AT: i THINK MAYBE SOME OF US ARE UHM, mAYBE NOT FEELING QUITE AS A TEAM, wHEN IT COMES TO CERTAIN ASPECTS,

AT: bUT USUALLY PEOPLE MANAGE TO PUT THAT ASIDE, sOMETIMES,

AT: sO MAYBE WE ARE ON THE WAY TO THAT SAME PLACE OF, uH, tEAMNESS, lIKE YOU GUYS,

AL: 1 HAVE THE UTMOST FA1TH, THAT YOU ARE. }:D

AL: AND WHEN YOU GUYS LEAVE, 1 W1LL BE SEND1NG YOU OFF, W1TH A B1G PARTY!

AL: SO, YOU ARE BOUND TO HAVE A GOOD ADVENTURE,

AL: WHEN YOU ARE OFF TO A START L1KE THAT, R1GHT?

AT: oH,

AT: yES, sOMETHING LIKE THAT WOULD BE A GOOD WAY TO START OUR NEW JOURNEY, wITH A NEW SHIP, aND ALSO NEW FRIENDS,

AT: wHICH i'M PRETTY SURE WILL CAUSE GOOD FEELINGS TO OCCUR, uHH, fOR A LONG TIME,

AT: yOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD, tAKODA, aBOUT THEMSELVES, aND THE FUTURE, }:)

AL: EHEHEH. WELL, WHEN 1 WAS YOUNGER, 1T WAS HARD TO FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT THOSE TH1NGS, AND 1T TOOK A LONG T1ME FOR ME TO F1GURE OUT, HOW TO BE OKAY.

AL: SO, 1F 1 CAN HELP OTHER PEOPLE NOT FEEL THAT WAY, 1 WANT TO TRY.

AT: i CAN UNDERSTAND THOSE FEELINGS, oR TO SOME DEGREE, bECAUSE PEOPLE FEEL THEIR FEELINGS DIFFERENTLY,

AT: bUT FINDING OUT HOW TO BE FEELING OKAY ABOUT YOURSELF, aND OTHER THINGS, iS UHH, pRETTY DIFFICULT,

AT: sO IT IS ALWAYS A NICE FEELING TO KNOW THAT YOU CAN HELP OTHERS WITH IT, oR TO KNOW THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE NOT EXPERIENCING SUCH DIFFICULTY, aBOUT BEING OKAY,

AL: YES! 1'M GLAD THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, TAVROS.

AL: 1 MEAN, CASTE MATE S1M1LAR1T1ES, AS1DE... 1 FEEL L1KE 1 CAN REALLY RELATE TO YOU, 1N A WAY. }:o

AL: WHEN YOU GUYS RETURN TO THE H1DEOUT, WHENEVER THAT HAPPENS, WE SHOULD HANG OUT MORE.

AT: i AM DEFINITELY EXPERIENCING THE SAME KINDS OF RELATEABLE FEELINGS, uHM, aBOUT YOU,

AT: dESPITE MY INITIAL FEELINGS, tHAT i NOW DON'T SEE WHY i HAD, bECAUSE TALKING WITH YOU IS SO EASY,

AT: sO HANGING OUT WITH YOU IS DEFINITELY A THING, tHAT i WANT TO DO, wHEN IT HAPPENS, }:D

AL: AWESOME. }:)

AL: WE CAN DO SOME OF THAT AT THE PARTY, ALSO. WH1CH UH, 1 SHOULD GET BACK TO PLANN1NG THAT.

AT: i WOULD LIKE THAT A LOT, iF WE COULD,

AT: tHOUGH IF YOU MAYBE SHOULD NEED HELP WITH THE PLANNING, oF THE PARTY, tHEN i AM READY TO HELP OUT, iF YOU SHOULD NEED IT AT ALL,

AL: OHH YES, OKAY. 1 TH1NK 1 W1LL TAKE YOU UP ON THAT OFFER. PERHAPS, WHEN 1'M SETT1NG TH1NGS UP, YOU CAN HELP.

AL: BUT FOR NOW, 1 W1LL LET YOU GO.

AL: TO DO WHATEVER TH1NGS, YOU HAVE TO DO, OR UH, WANT TO DO.

AT: i'D BE HAPPY TO HELP, sO IF YOU FIND OUT THAT YOU ARE IN NEED OF IT, wHEN YOU SET UP, tHEN YOU CAN TELL ME AND i WILL BE OVER,

AT: iT WAS NICE TALKING WITH YOU TAKODA, i WILL SEE YOU LATER,

-- adiosTauromachy [AT] gave up trolling arcadianLuminary [AL] at 22:46 --

[fatallycovert]

[06:16] -- fatallyCovert [FC] began pestering arcadianLuminary [AL] at 18:16 --

[06:16] FC: tak0da.

[06:17] AL: HEEEY, RAJAN1.

[06:17] AL: WHAT CAN 1 DO FOR YOU, ON TH1S BR1GHT AND BEAUT1FUL DAY?

[06:17] AL: 1 MEAN. NOT THAT 1T'S REALLY ALL THAT BR1GHT.

[06:17] AL: ON TH1S PLANET.

[06:17] AL: BUT 1 TH1NK YOU UNDERSTAND THE MEAN1NG OF MY METAPHOR THERE.

[06:18] FC: the light is sufficient, that's f0r certain.

[06:18] FC: i understand, yes.

[06:18] AL: }B)

[06:21] FC: i have caught wind 0f a gr0up 0f alternian expatriates residing 0n the next planet 0ver.

[06:21] FC: their numbers were decent, but n0w cl0se t0 n0thing in c0mparis0n.

[06:22] FC: n0t since the attack against them. few surviv0rs. 0nly the skilled survived.

[06:23] FC: a few rum0red t0 be alive seem t0 have pasts with c0nnecti0n t0 the empire.

[06:23] FC: i want them here.

[06:24] AL: OH DANG.

[06:24] AL: UM, THAT SOUNDS L1KE A TR1CKY TASK, BUT NOT ONE 1 AM 1NCL1DED TO TURN DOWN!

[06:24] AL: OR 1N ANY POS1T1ON TO. S1NCE THAT'S MY JOB AND ALL.

[06:25] FC: i was h0ping t0 hear that. 0r rather, read.

[06:25] FC: but this is n0 time f0r c0medy.

[06:26] AL: HAHAHA.

[06:26] AL: HEHE.

[06:26] AL: NO, BUT.

[06:26] AL: THAT T1CKLED ME, ALL THE SAME.

[06:26] FC: i believe we may be able t0 get useful inf0rmati0n fr0m them.

[06:28] AL: 1 BEL1EVE THAT YOU ARE PROBABLY R1GHT. MOSTLY BECAUSE 1 TRUST YOUR JUDGEMENT, ON SUCH MATTERS.

[06:29] FC: as y0u sh0uld by n0w.

[06:29] FC: we w0uld n0t be an effective n0r a c0hesive unit 0therwise.

[06:29] AL: OHH YEEEAAAH. AGREED.

[06:30] FC: and yet unity requires trust in s0me0ne skilled in falseh00ds.

[06:30] FC: i believe i am alm0st smiling just thinking 0f h0w ir0nic it is.

[06:32] AL: WHOA, AN ALMOST SM1LE? A RAR1TY SUCH AS THAT REQU1RES DOCUMENTAT1ON, 1 WOULD TH1NK.

[06:37] FC: y0u may rec0rd it. and then pr0mptly burn it.

[06:38] FC: i believe that w0uld be appr0priate.

[06:43] AL: YES. THAT 1S APPROPR1ATE, G1VEN YOUR OWN PERSON MOT1FS, BUT NOT GENERALLY AN APPROPR1ATE TH1NG TO DO TO RECORD1NGS.

[06:43] AL: S1NCE THE 1NTENDED PURPOSE.

[06:43] AL: 1S TO RECORD.

[06:45] FC: if all inf0rmati0n was treated strictly with intended purp0se,

[06:45] FC: then i w0uld n0t have a j0b.

[06:45] AL: YES. THAT 1S A FA1R PO1NT.

[06:46] FC: i am in fav0r 0f fire.

[06:48] AL: OKAY. 1F 1 EVER TAKE A P1CTURE OF YOU SM1L1NG, 1 W1LL 1MMED1ATELY 1NC1NERATE 1T.

[06:48] AL: W1TH THE 1LLEST OF F1RES 1 CAN CONJURE.

[06:49] FC: these are the useless metaph0rical kind, aren't they?

[06:49] FC: with n0 disrespect t0 y0ur talents.

[06:50] FC: f0r they are indeed plenty.

[06:53] AL: }:D

[06:53] AL: 1 WAS BE1NG L1TERAL, OUT OF RESPECT FOR YOUR PREV1OUS REQUEST.

[06:53] AL: BUT KNOW1NG ME, 1 M1GHT SP1T OUT SOME S1CK PHRASEOLOGY AT THE 1NSP1RAT1ONAL S1GHT, OF A BR1LL1ANT SM1LE ALL L1T UP 1N FLAAAMES.

[07:00] FC: this is when it bec0mes metaph0rical. i see.

[07:05] AL: YES! YOU'VE GOT 1T.

[07:51] FC: yes, i kn0w.

[08:11] AL: ANYWAY, 1 AM GO1NG TO GET SOME FOLKS TOGETHER, AND MOSEY OVER TO CAPTURE THESE NEW FR1ENDS. }:)

[08:12] FC: then that is all f0r n0w.

[08:16] AL: YEP!! TAKE 1T EASY, CHERRY FREEZY.

[08:16] AL: CHERRY BECAUSE YOU'RE RED. K1ND OF L1KE A CHERRY. AND A CHERRY FREEZE, SPEC1F1CALLY, G1VEN YOUR COLD DEMEANOR.

[08:16] AL: WH1CH, THAT 1SN'T 1NTENDED TO BE A JAB OR ANYTH1NG. BECAUSE 1 L1KE THAT TRA1T ABOUT YOU. ALSO, CHERRY FREEZES, ARE DEL1C1OUS.

[08:16] AL: BUT 1 D1GRESS.

[08:16] AL: LATER!

[08:17] FC: and i have alm0st smiled again.

[08:17] FC: alm0st.

[08:17] FC: until then.

[08:17] -- fatallyCovert [FC] ceased pestering arcadianLuminary [AL] at 20:17 --

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 2

DAVENFORTH: -Here they are, on the road. The trees wiz by as Takoda rolls them along. Davenforth is awake right now, watching the scenery and trying to figure out exactly what the fuck is going on while a cold fish cuddles and snoozes on while being covered in various warming apparel-

MAYOR: -chewing on a delicious seat-

HIGHBLOOD: =The warm smell of a hot, fresh banana cream pie slowly seeps from the back=

RILEY: -she awakens to the smell of banana cream pie, opening her eyes from a snoring and drooling deep sleep against derek. she sits up and tiredly looks around for the source-

HIGHBLOOD: =its him, or rather the pie on the little table he's got propped up over his lap. A bowl of sliced bananas next to it, he lays the slices gently on the whipped surface of the pie=

DAVENFORTH: -Grumbles something about "clown magic" -

QIRIN: =Softest of tummy gurgles.=

QIRIN: =Gently places a hand over her own face.=

MAYOR: -all you SUCKERS can get hungry over pies if you want. It's not even green?-

HIGHBLOOD: =he might have green pies, who knows=

DAVENFORTH: -He really wouldn't recommend eating a juggalo party bus seat. Do you know what's been on these things?-

PENNY: -wakes up next to the mayor and groaaans. She is not feeling too hot right now. Also reaches over and tries to push the Mayor away from his seat eating.- dude no thats so gnarly.

DAVENFORTH: Marinated in sex sweat and faygo

GAIZKA: =Sleeping Meditating under a pile of those fuzzy rainbow robes. Legs kickied up against the side wall of the bus. Flicks an ear.= GAIZKA: only MoThErFuCkInG marinade WhAt will Do. =Tired bemused mumbling.=

QIRIN: Ugghhghghg

HIGHBLOOD: =Gaizka better be in the back with him= amen on that shit usual but nastyass blaspheme soaked up in it my motherfucker

DAVENFORTH: Still salty about that huh

DAVENFORTH: You know its not a religion on earth its more of a cult

DAVENFORTH: One condy probably brought here

MAYOR: ? -offers a handful of gross chair stuffing to penny-

HIGHBLOOD: =quirks eyebrow= .... one ought have words and extremities for her if that so be the realness, ain't too farfetched

GAIZKA: =If the back is where one has room for two 9 feet+ clowns then in the back he is. He hums.= stray souls in NeEd of some GuIdIn' AsSiSt or so it go. be So HiThEr, DiThEr or in the UnBrEaThAbLe.

DAVENFORTH: Do either of you know how a magnet works

HIGHBLOOD: in the unbreathable gaiz, they already been tainted =Shows finished banana cream pie to Davenforth, he will pie you=

PENNY: ... bro no. -nudges Mayor's hand away-

MAYOR: -Picky eaters... he offers a green crayon from inside of his tattered rags. U NEED TO EAT. sustain your internal skeleton.-

LIFERA: -she's only vaguely awake, wanting very much to hibernate a bit, but fins flick and she peers up around Dave's shoulder to look back at Gaizka.- ... -Grumpy glub.-

DAVENFORTH: -Answer the question. Also he will eat that entire pie-

GAIZKA: =Shrugs a shoulder underneath the pile.= if so a HoLy BrOtHeR pReAcH. =You do you man. Everyone just feel yourselves.= GAIZKA: magnets got tHeM mAgNeTiC aEsThEtIc AtTrAcT themselves some FrEnEtiC.

DAVENFORTH: -This is why he likes you Gaizka-

PENNY: bro........... PENNY: hey big guy are you sharing that pie? I think this dude needs it more than anybody.

MAYOR: -EXCUSE-

DAVENFORTH: Thats just how he eats

PENNY: Im gonna call bullshit on the whole concept of eating then.

HIGHBLOOD: =reaches a long arm to put a potholder on Riley's head. Then balance the pie on it, assembles another one while putting a whole plate of corn muffins with honey glaze on the Gaizka pile= motherfucker seem mightily content

GAIZKA: =Shakes his head out of the pile to peer at the muffins placed upon him. He's just gonna help himself, thanks brosef.= GAIZKA: =Holds a muffin up in Lifera's direction and tilts his head quizzingly. Why the grumpy glubs? Have a muffin.=

DAVENFORTH: -Trying his best to keep Lifera as warm as possible.-

RILEY: -keeps completely still- is there a pie on my head or am i still asleep?

LIFERA: ... -Smiles a little and takes the muffin. Bites it in half in one sharp slice of teeth and offers some to Davenforth.-

DAVENFORTH: (Nah you go ahead baybe im good)

RILEY: -takes the whole thing off her head and DIGS IN-

RILEY: -SHE IS HUNGRY-

GAIZKA: =Takes the opportunity to dump some of the rainbow robes on Lifera and Davenforth since he's getting up now apparently.= :o)

DAVENFORTH: -Gdi-

GAIZKA: AiN't any proper LoVeBiRdInG nest without SoMe FuZzIeS. =He got you homies.= ;o)

LIFERA: -SWALLOWS MUFFIN and snrks.- T)(ANKS seaweedie. -shh... we're married.-

DAVENFORTH: -Ceremony date is pending-

LIFERA: -not us me and Gaizka?? SHEESH.-

LIFERA: 3;*

DAVENFORTH: -Wasted-

GAIZKA: =They can all get married and become goat farmers in the alps. He gives Lifera a lopsided grin.= any ol' time AnGeLfIsH.

TAKODA: -still driving- }8) -he's smiling, wide eyed and trying to stay awake.-

LIFERA: -soft glubs... she loves this clownfish. Speaking of love and this clownfish, she glances over at their driver.- Are you still ocray up there, Takoda?

DAVENFORTH: You want me to take over koda

TAKODA: ... TAKODA: THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE W1SE, 1F WE SW1TCHED...

DAVENFORTH: Get some rest buddy -Smooches Lifs head and gets up to head up front-

TAKODA: -pulls off to the side of the road at the first opportunity-

GAIZKA: =Looks over Liffy while she glances away. Does her hair need a brushin'..?=

DAVENFORTH: -He is the captain now, and he takes a seat, getting them moving again. Where even are they headed? We just don't know, but it would probably be wise to stop at a gas station soon-

QIRIN: =they can always grab a hose and steal gas=

QIRIN: =she was a teenager, once=

GAIZKA: =One does not simply stop being a teenager.=

TAKODA: -wanders towards the back with the clowns and finds himself a seat. he should sleep but... now that he's not distracted by driving his thoughts are racing. darn it.-

GAIZKA: =Welcome to Clowntown. Have a rainbow robe. He drapes it around Takoda's shoulders while humming. Strategically sings out some of the lyrics lowkey.= (can't you see, you're my delight,) =Hum hum.= (just feel like, i won't get you, out of my mind.) =What's up here come dat thought and it's gay as hell.=

TAKODA: -geez... he's still not used to being spoiled with affection like this.- HEHEHE... THANK YOU...

GAIZKA: ;o)c GAIZKA: you feel on PeAcHy KeEn, BrOtHeR? been up on them WhEeLs for LoNg PaSs.

TAKODA: 1'M F1NE... JUST T1RED, 1S ALL. BUT ALSO, RESTLESS?

GAIZKA: yeah? how you ReCkOn that NoIsE AlLs up work? need HiM some PaCiN' or be ThEm ReStLeSs NoTeS of the MiNdSpAcE?

LIFERA: -her hair always needs brushing and is just past her shoulders now... it grows fast. She's spying on those two now, and maybe sliding closer. Lend her your warmth and your cuteness.-

LIFERA: 38)

TAKODA: 1T'S, UH, 1N THE HEAD, MOSTLY... -notices lifera APPROACHING- TAKODA: ... H1.

GAIZKA: seem none act keep SuChIn ThOuGhT FlOw WaNdErInGs at bay. =Sees Lifera slide n scoot on over, and thus lifts one of his big barrel arms. He's big enough for everyone to lend warmth to.=

GAIZKA: and this HoMeTtE? got just them BoD wAnDeRs or MiNd Be AlL iNcLuSiVe?

LIFERA: -squirms her round little self under his arm and snugs close, sighing.- Oh, I'm all thought out, I'm shore. My little ones are taken care of...

LIFERA: -And she's pretty prepared to throw herself into any oncoming frays, swords, bullets, etcetera. She doesn't really need to think much for that.-

GAIZKA: =Lowers his arm to wrap around her once she's snug like a bug in a rug.= AlLs them LiL ThOuGhTwAvEs done up and gone with themselves on the MoThErFuCkInG breeze. i feel you SiStEr.

DAVENFORTH: -Driving gives him time to focus, which for Dave maybe isn't the best thing but oh well. Earth was radically different since he last visited, and he still had no clue what was going on. Undoubtedly, Condy was behind the madness but...why split them up like this but leave them with means of communication? Was she that cocky? Taking a look at their fuel gauge, he figures they have a few more hours of travel time. He'll stop at the nearest gas station when he sees it.-

RILEY: - are you trying to focus Dave because get ready to be brocused. That pie she had is destroyed by now with no trace left. She plants herself in the seat nearest to the drivers- hey.

PENNY: -YEAH YOU GO UP THERE. She's gonna make herself cozy with the grand pieblood too.-

RILEY: -we got a mutual friend now suck on that-

LIFERA: Glub...

LIFERA: I just want to help in whatebber way is N-E-ED-ED.

LIFERA: I don't think my other skrills are of much use here.

PENNY: -GAAAHHHH-

HIGHBLOOD: =If she really is peeping at him he's downing a 2 liter of faygo like its nothing.... which incomparison to him..... it isn't. Peace signs at her=

HIGHBLOOD: =If she really is peeping at him he's downing a 2 liter of faygo like its nothing.... which incomparison to him..... it isn't. Peace signs at her=

PENNY: haha same. -she would guzzle something... IF SHE HAD IT.- PENNY: so uh. what do I gotta do to get a pie from you?

HIGHBLOOD: ain't nothin gotta get down lil sismiss HIGHBLOOD: shit doth occur in the time it's done dued up, you just ain't found it yet =She should check under her seat=

HIGHBLOOD: =He looks downward too actually=

PENNY: .... -follows his gaze. Is he looking at the pie??-

HIGHBLOOD: =He's looking under her seat, directly under the human buttsit, it's in a box with a big :o) on the top=

PENNY: oh shit.

PENNY: -reaches down to pull it out and pops the lid.- crouching pie hidden breakfast.

PENNY: thanks big guy. youre a real ten foot bro.

PENNY: sorry Im having a hard time getting past the whole...

PENNY: -spreads her hands wide- thing.

HIGHBLOOD: ain't no apologies needed

HIGHBLOOD: dunno your shit and ain't gonna pry lil sismiss

HIGHBLOOD: as it is it'll be, can't get its ass no other kinda way, you dig?

PENNY: that is. EXACTLY how I feel thank you.

PENNY: -there's probably not a fork in here right?? She's gonna try to nibble this pie with no hands.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Whats a fork=

PENNY: -yeah that's what she thought-

PENNY: ish pree goo tho.

PENNY: youre the real star of this road trip.

HIGHBLOOD: =compliments on his bakes, hell ye. Shimmers= truth on the quality confectionaries though butterance ain't needed

HIGHBLOOD: here not to be no star but keepin the dream alive as i is and am everywhere :o)

PENNY: dont think anyones ever called me the dream before. -SNRK-

DAVENFORTH: Sup -He's starting to get all focused and serious.-

HIGHBLOOD: ain't everybody got them eyes for prizes sismiss ;o)

PENNY: oh shit. I do like you. -scoops banana whip into her mouth with a hand because fuck it she's hungry and the handless approach isn't working-

HIGHBLOOD: tend to be an agreeable motherfucker what with all mine charm and beauty =chinhands=

PENNY: you are hella both in large quantities to no ones surprise. pretty sure everything about you is large. -eats pie contemplatively.-

HIGHBLOOD: in comparison and proportion :o)

PENNY: okay so real question. how many of these pies could you put down?

HIGHBLOOD: damn...... i mix varieties up in my eatins don't gorge on a single thing till a brofo am full....

HIGHBLOOD: ain't never tried but now got reason to do so :o0

PENNY: you gotta. for science.

PENNY: but mostly cuz I wanna see you eat like fifty pies.

HIGHBLOOD: oh fifty is easy

HIGHBLOOD: that ain't a thang sismiss

RILEY: you've got that look going on. i think it's time for some music.

HIGHBLOOD: =Music..... should be break out the sax=

PENNY: hell... yes??? this guy knows his limits and also his lack of them. God bless.

HIGHBLOOD: gotta be in peace with your mind and vessle sismiss

HIGHBLOOD: can do wonderous things

DAVENFORTH: Only music this bus has is icp if you want that be my guest

HIGHBLOOD: =Don't. He's breaking out the sax, that's it=

TAKODA: WE COULD ALL S1NG, AND PLAY MUS1C, 1F WE ARE THE K1NDS, WHO KNOW HOW TO PLAY 1NSTRUMENTS.

TAKODA: WH1CH 1 DO. AND 1 KNOW FOR A FACT, A LOT OF YOU HERE DO. }:o -at ghb's sax-

HIGHBLOOD: =Now that he's looking at it, yup. Here goes him, playing old pop songs from hundreds of years ago https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQxO32lKszo =

PENNY: -SWAYS. This is the best thing that could have possibly happened.-

MAYOR: -percussions on the cans-

DAVENFORTH: -He appreciates the irony but he needs a cigarette-

HIGHBLOOD: =He's fuckin it up on the sax, its just giving you too much life Davenforth=

DAVENFORTH: -A bowl. He needs a bowl. But he doesn't want to lose his focus. He doesn't fight as well under the influence as he used to...-

HIGHBLOOD: =Haha you're old=

DAVENFORTH: -No he just leads a more sober lifestyle-

PENNY: -OLD AS FUCK.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Both, but good on you man. This one goes out to you. Doots soulfully=

RILEY: that sax though.

RILEY: -with all the ruckus at least she can talk to him- you doing okay?

DAVENFORTH: Peachy fucking keen

RILEY: like shit. okay.

RILEY: now we're getting somewhere.

DAVENFORTH: Riri im good just trying to piece together what the actual fuck is going on

RILEY: is this actually something you can piece together? you're gonna stress yourself out thinking about it too much. we have a destination, we just have to get there.

DAVENFORTH: Fuck i dunno but ive gotta try and were a long ass way from minnesota

RILEY: you ever been to minnesota before?

DAVENFORTH: Once dont really remember it

RILEY: yeah. i've never been. had like one show scheduled there but i didn't go. just cuz it was minnesota.

DAVENFORTH: -Taps at the steering wheel-

RILEY: -glances over at him-

RILEY: -y u tap dat-

DAVENFORTH: -He's fine this is all fine.-

RILEY: -time to distract him- so you're legally dead, right.

DAVENFORTH: Dave skellington is me not so much im like missing or presumed dead or some shit just waiting to pop up at my own funeral like some kind of shitty clickbait article the empress of the universe thought he was dead what happened next will warm your heart

DAVENFORTH: Schrodingers asshole

RILEY: wow. that makes so much sense.

DAVENFORTH: I was my own agent

DAVENFORTH: I never revealed dave skellingtons identity to the public

DAVENFORTH: And when he got assassinated i was around him but my death was never confirmed just presumed

RILEY: damn. i should have done that. pulled a hannah montana like you did.

DAVENFORTH: It made shit stupid difficult

RILEY: yeah probably because literally everyone knew who you were.

DAVENFORTH: I worked hard for it

RILEY: weren't there like babies whose first words were dave?

DAVENFORTH: Probably

RILEY: -she pauses- you got a killer headache, huh?

DAVENFORTH: You dont want your babies first word to be dave

RILEY: -there it is- nope.

DAVENFORTH: Sucks to be you

RILEY: there's no possible way that's happening.

DAVENFORTH: -Shrugs-

DAVENFORTH: You doing alright

RILEY: -smug- you don't want your kids' first word to be riley?

DAVENFORTH: It was suh

RILEY: not a word.

DAVENFORTH: Sup is absolutely a word

RILEY: newborns can say suh.

DAVENFORTH: Can they say bro and dude

RILEY: really?

DAVENFORTH: Jinjin is a very talented baby

RILEY: damn trolls and their accelerated development.

DAVENFORTH: You hatin on my baby

RILEY: i'm jealous.

DAVENFORTH: Why you get to enjoy all that cute shit longer

RILEY: no, i mean i'm jealous I didn't grow up that fast.

DAVENFORTH: Wait youre grown up

RILEY: -such a glare- you are SO funny. just a comedic class act.

DAVENFORTH: I was voted most likely to die by cocaine overdose

DAVENFORTH: Also best dressed

RILEY: who are we polling?

JODIE: - shuffles around in the back somewhere. she's extremely hung over-

DAVENFORTH: Well that one was my high school class

QIRIN: =Now Jodie...imagine the greasiest pizza you have ever laid eyes on. Oil is literally dripping from the cheese. YUM.=

JODIE: - she's barely even conscious and she already wants this in her body-

RILEY: nice. great categories. -lifts her head- okay who fucking has pizza?

QIRIN: =I do. An imaginary one.=

DAVENFORTH: -Babe chill-

RILEY: wait. -groans- blaming my bad sense of smell on the baby.

JODIE: - she wants REAL pizza-

DAVENFORTH: I mean they were right werent they

RILEY: close enough. i don't think i was voted into anything. it would have been most likely to go to juvie for truancy.

JODIE: anybody got some water?

JODIE: -HER VOICE IS HOARSE. she got black out drunk and is now reaping the benefits.-

RILEY: -GIRL-

JODIE: -rubbing eyes.-

DAVENFORTH: -Nope only whiskey-

DAVENFORTH: You didnt miss much

JODIE: cool.

RILEY: somebody had a party last night.

QIRIN: =she slowly rose to her feet and handed her an unopened water bottle= ^_^

JODIE: -blessed woman. makes a smooching sound at her and then CHUGS IT-  

QIRIN: =dear lord=

QIRIN: If I may interject... Perhaps slower consumption will aid you better...

JODIE: that was like a pre-party. imma wait til we have something to celebrate before i pull out all the stops.

JODIE: -GLUG GLUG???-

QIRIN: =mainly she doesn't want her to choke=

RILEY: you can't get her to slow down.

RILEY: it's impossible.

JODIE: -drinks half the bottle and passes it on back-

JODIE: -fishes in her purse and reapplies lip balm- thanks bby.

QIRIN: It's quite all right, please keep it. =YOU MAY NEED IT LATER=

JODIE: oh sweet. after i drink it all i can pee in the bottle.

JODIE: save us time.

JODIE: -TOSSES IT IN HER PURSE-

QIRIN: =frog god help her=

JODIE: i swear i can get it all in without a stray drop. it's a talent.

DAVENFORTH: Theres a bathroom -If you can call it that-

JODIE: damn. fancy ass bus.

RILEY: a bottle actually might be preferable.

JODIE: -MIGHT BE A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED THAT SHE CAN'T SHOW OFF HER TALENT.-

RILEY: -has to pee aLL THE TIME THANKS RYAN-

RYAN: -rihanna winks from the womb-

RILEY: -GIRL!!!!-

DAVENFORTH: -Hark! Is that a gas station he sees in the distance?-

RILEY: -PLEASE JESUS-

DAVENFORTH: -Indeed it is! Davenforth pulls into the station. Is it abandoned we just don't know yet.-

DEREK: -eyes out the window-

DAVENFORTH: Alright kids its time for a rest

RILEY: i'm really fucking hungry. does this place have those rent a showers? not like i have any earth money on me. do they accept that anymore?

DAVENFORTH: -Shrugs-

QIRIN: What of trading?

RILEY: -blinks at qirin for a moment- oh. yeah! that.

DEREK: -stands up and stretches-

DAVENFORTH: Pretty sure they dont accept third borns

DAVENFORTH: Lets see if this place isnt abandoned first -Looks at Derek like you coming with?-

RILEY: -she's already walking out the bus-

DEREK: -HELL YEAH HE IS. nods at the brother and trots on after-

DAVENFORTH: -Hops off the bus-

DAVENFORTH: So if there aint anyone in there you think you remember how to do that thing behind the counter to get free gas

RILEY: -there better be some FOOD IN HERE-

DEREK: Sure I do. -ok hand- I got this.

RILEY: get us some fuel, baby.

DAVENFORTH: -Heads on in-

DAVENFORTH: Anybody home

RILEY: -curiously looks around. what's this place look like anyway-

QIRIN: Honestly. At the very least write an IOU.

DAVENFORTH: -It's much akin to a good sized seven eleven. Hot dog and pizza machine, aisles of snacks with the cooler section in the back with drinks. There's even a tv on the wall with the latest news. Everything is up and running but Davenforth notes it's quiet-

QIRIN: =what's on the telly?=

RILEY: -if there's no one in here she's gonna take some shit and run. she's checking some expiration dates on some chips to make sure-

DAVENFORTH: -Deez nuts-

DEREK: -peeks behind the counter casually. nobody's there, but maybe they're just in the bathroom or the back room or something. either way, he's hopping over the counter to do his thing.-

DAVENFORTH: -There's probably something on tv about policies the New dual juggalo presidents are going to be enacting. Boring stuff honestly. Oh yeah, Two juggalos won the presidency. Davenforth is trying to figure out how to make some tea for folks. Everyone is cold.-

RILEY: -she's stuffing her arms full of stuff like cheap hot dogs and sandwiches and donuts and a whole bunch of shit before just straight up slippin it in the sylladex. there's a bathroom and she's going to take this opportunity while it's here. tHERE sHE GOES-

DAVENFORTH: I can see why you married her

DEREK: -grins as he watches her go. she scurry.- Yeah... We used to get into all kinds of shit back in the way.

DAVENFORTH: Youre always getting into shit -He too, is stuffing his sylladex full of shit, non perishable food, water, Gatorade, microwavable burritos and pizza rolls...until he actually hears the named shaggy 2 dope and violent j. Now the tv has his full fucking attention-

RILEY: -busts out of the restrooms- okay, guys, i-- -she sees dave looking at the tv so she also is looking at the tv and not believing anything she's seeing right now-

QIRIN: =trying to ignore all this petty crime happening=

QIRIN: Can you believe it? =She's paritially asking herself that question=

DAVENFORTH: That would explain the rise of the juggalos

RILEY: -frowns- you sure this isn't one of those sketch comedy shows? or a mockumentary?

DAVENFORTH: Afraid not

DEREK: -furrows brows at the tv- Whats the point of fucking the planet over to this degree? Did all the Alternian imperialized planets get this kinda treatment?

RILEY: this is fucking ridiculous. how is this a thing? who made this a thing?

[gulescamisade]

Virginia: Day 1

[One instant they're on the ship, and the next they're someplace else entirely. They seem to be outside, among trees, the forest floor covered in a small blanket of snow. For those who look around, they will see not everyone from the UU is present. Only Davenforth, Derek, Riley, Penny, Roxanne, Takoda, Gaizka, Lifera, Qirin, the Mayor, and the Grand High Blood. If they check, all their belongings they had on them before will still be there. Comm devices, anything in their sylladex, and even their strife specibus is intact.]

DAVENFORTH: -Okay what the fuck. First, he was waiting for some heartwarming family reunion to be over and next he's peeling himself off the forest floor. Been a long time since he had this sensation. Groggy, he stands, taking in his location and those around him. Shit.-

LIFERA: -DOOF. She certainly wasn't prepared for something this inane to happen, and she's glad she didn't equip her 2x3dent in the midst of all this. But this is.... suddenly incredibly cold, and she hisses, pushing herself up out of the snow and shivering immediately.-

ROXANNE: -Oh likewise Davenforth, but also seriously what the actual fuck. Can't there be a few hour period of family reunions WITHOUT things going to all hell in exchange like what the shit. Roxanne is sitting up and trying to adjust to the swimming headache that comes with being unceremoniously dumped with teleportation into some strange forest.- Ngh..

PENNY: -She's stumbling until she plops right back on her butt, dropping the cigarette she was holding and watching it fizzle out in the snow.- FUCK.

MAYOR: -FLAILS AROUND. WHAT IS THIS WHITE NONSENSE. WHAT MANNER OF TRAP HAS HE BEEN TELEPORTED TO-

LIFERA: A)(--!

HIGHBLOOD: =Man he was braiding his hair.... what the hell=

QIRIN: =She miraculously managed to land on her feet during this=

DAVENFORTH: Well at least everyone is awake

HIGHBLOOD: =Keeps braiding and looks around=

DAVENFORTH: -Sees Lifera though. Walks over and uncaptchas an extra coat, offering it to her.-

QIRIN: =immediately begins to peel people off the ground if they are still getting themselves acquainted to it.= 

QIRIN: Is everyone all right?

DEREK: -once his ass is up, he's gonna tend to hoisting riley and also draping a coat on her gdi davenforth why we gotta be in synch here.-

LIFERA: Th-Thanks. -nestles in the coat, clearly uncomfortable in this climate-

RILEY: -her ass is PLANTED IN THE SNOW but before she knows it, derek's got her and already getting her a coat- what the actual fuck?!

DAVENFORTH: No problem

DAVENFORTH: Everyone else good so far

PENNY: IM GREAT THANKS FOR ASKING.

MAYOR: -tentatively eats a handful of snow-

ROXANNE: -Shes getting up and dusting herself off before rapidly checking her sylladex. This has happened too many times. Roxanne lets out a sigh of relief when she finds it all there.- Yeah. Good so far.

ROXANNE: 'Cept for the whole whatever that was.

RILEY: -penny's here too? and ROXANNE? WOW. she laughs because this is so gODDAMMN CRAZY BEFORE clearing her throat- is there like...another coat jacket blanket sweater whatever?

HIGHBLOOD: =Suddenly wearing this because coldblooded

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/36/65/27/366527e371625a8d07bba99b13685dbf.jpg

=

QIRIN: ....

HIGHBLOOD: =picks at fangs=

QIRIN: By chance, do you have more in there?

HIGHBLOOD: most assuredly my alabaster sismiss

ROXANNE: -........Eyyy clown buddy has got the threads. She would appreciate it if she wasnt now realizing that ONCE AGAIN shes been separated from every aspect of her small family in likely a life or death situation.-

PENNY: oh shit I want one.

ROXANNE: -8)-

DAVENFORTH: Ive also got regular coats if you dont wanna look like a pride yeti  

LIFERA: ... -Soft glubs. She glances around, sniffing in reservation.-

DAVENFORTH: Wait shit that sounds dope

HIGHBLOOD: =DUMPS tacky rainbow threads on all who needs em= color does yon motherfuck good HIGHBLOOD: best be lookin the best whilst you can broseph :o)

QIRIN: ^_^ Thank you, truly. =She picks one up and tries it on, pushing the neck fluff up to her cheeks. Team Pride Yetis are a go=

RILEY: thanks buddy. -he is her buddy, really- warmest one you got give to my sister. -nods her head in that direction.-

DEREK: -looks pennyward- Oh damn. Thats her?

HIGHBLOOD: y'alls all motherfuckin tiny as a bit they all warm when you layers on layers on layers em sis :oP

RILEY: uh huh. -she nods- imagine me like. 15 years younger. not pregnant. i'll kind of look like her, then.

DAVENFORTH: I always look my best -You Motherfuck...-

HIGHBLOOD: best could get bester =clown smiles in his obsenely bright and colorful winterwear= best get on out the cold

DAVENFORTH: None of us can fly huh

DAVENFORTH: Best vantage point is upward

RILEY: do we look like any of us can fly?

RILEY: let me get my extended wings and jet pack and just bust up into the sky.

HIGHBLOOD: i could juggle y'all that counts enough

QIRIN: What of these trees? I am sure we could scale them.

QIRIN: =maybe=

ROXANNE: -Excuse her and the clicking noise as she's setting up her rifle gun. Shes not screwing around.- We could try it but i dunno' whoever does should be good at climbing because falls can kill pretty quick.

HIGHBLOOD: =He might catch them... or he might not=

DAVENFORTH: Ill be right back -Flashsteps up one of the taller trees to see if he can get a decent vantage point-

RILEY: -throws her hands up in frustration at davenforth just GOIN OFF LIKE THAT- okay, bye.

HIGHBLOOD: =digging into an peach cobbler, hot and fresh from who knows where, one hand in the pocket, looking around=

QIRIN: =a little flatly at Davenforth's eagerness to shimmy up a tree= Oh thank goodness we have medical.

DAVENFORTH: -He's just anime jumping up it branch by branch JESUS. It's perfectly safe, right Derek?-

ROXANNE: -Please dont fall though.-

HIGHBLOOD: =But if you do, do a flip=

ROXANNE: -No.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Two flips=

[At the top of the trees, Davenforth will see MORE TREES... but in the far distance, there are lights coming from a tented area the size of a small village. Maybe it's a... circus?]

DAVENFORTH: -Sighs- At least it aint texas

ROXANNE: -Finishes prepping her gun and slings it over her shoulder, while she watches Davenforth from the ground.-

LIFERA: -She's starting to pace to keep warm. Heck.-

DAVENFORTH: -Checks his comm. Oh shit. Virginia huh? He starts making his way down the tree landing on his feet with the softest thud-

ROXANNE: -Nice dismount. Stuck the landing.-

ROXANNE: See anythin' up there?

PENNY: -draping herself in what's practically a rainbow tent. Ahh yes.- alright whatevers going on Im not standing here fuck deep in snow.

DAVENFORTH: Hope you guys like camping cuz were gonna be playing the wild thornberries for a while

DAVENFORTH: Good news is theres what can be considered civilization miles ahead

QIRIN: Good idea. Are berries in season?

RILEY: great. -sighs, hugging the coat tighter against her-

DAVENFORTH: Bad news is it looks like the ringaling brothers are here

ROXANNE: -Raises a brow.- What?

QIRIN: =shrugs at roxanne=

HIGHBLOOD: =LEANS= them motherfuckers?? =furrows brows=

DAVENFORTH: Grape ape over there is gonna feel real at home soon im guessin

HIGHBLOOD: mine home is where i roam bromie

PENNY: -she's already trudging through the snow. BYE YALL-

HIGHBLOOD: =Goodbye forever lil sis=

DAVENFORTH: That lovely lady has the right idea she might wanna walk to the left a bit though

ROXANNE: ! -Spots a fleeing penny.- Uh hey.

ROXANNE: Maybe you shouldn't go off on your own like that? -Whoever she is, she didnt get the name, only that shes related to riley.-

RILEY: -sighs- hey! where the fuck are you going?

HIGHBLOOD: =He shrugs and starts to roam, tapping on his com and slorping some faygo. The lorge walks through the snow surprisingly quiet=

PENNY: -turns left a little. THANKS GUY.-

PENNY: Im freezing my ass off and I dont know none of yall.

HIGHBLOOD: word on the block's you got fam littlest bit

HIGHBLOOD: that's the block, stalkin ya

RILEY: so your plan is to get lost?

DAVENFORTH: Introducing yourself is the quickest way to still not know someone but at least know their name

PENNY: hi Im Penny.

QIRIN: I am Weramiru Qirin, former queen of Prospit, abdicated in 2619, best decision of my life. I am now one of the Unbreakable Union's doctors. =Holds out her hand like Disney Jane and Tarzan introducing themselves.=

HIGHBLOOD: =Pft, royals=

DAVENFORTH: -What a nerd. He loves her-

ROXANNE: Hey, Penny. I'm not as fancy as Qirin, but ya'can call me Roxanne. -How friendly does she looked all stressed out and with a loaded weapon slung over her shoulder.-

QIRIN: You do not have to be fancy when you are already a brilliant scientist, Roxanne.

PENNY: -side eyes Qirin... high fives her.-

QIRIN: ^_^ =highfives=

ROXANNE: .......Aw heck. -Thats adorable.- Thanks Qirin.

RILEY: enough introductions to get us all going the same direction? perfect. let's go.

PENNY: sorry but no.

MAYOR: -he points to his sash-

PENNY: Im gonna go this way and you can go whatever other way.

MAYOR: -u were missing one. now u know-

HIGHBLOOD: aight =keeps walking= can't make no motherfucker amble on where they don't wanna get their legs =walks behind a tree and disappears=

HIGHBLOOD: =Sliding casually down the other side of the hill, slorping faygo=

PENNY: ....wtf.

DAVENFORTH: Thank god the mayor is okay

QIRIN: ......................

RILEY: -glances at this adorable carapacian and has no idea why he's pointing at his sash but he's so adorable she has to force herself to focus on the situation at hand- well, i'm going where you go. so...you can either go with everybody else or be stuck with just me.

QIRIN: =watches GHB disappear with her own two eyeballs. She should be accustomed to strange occurrences by now, but the fact of the matter is that she is NOT.=

DAVENFORTH: -Catches up to Penny-

PENNY: are you seriously going to do this right now?

DAVENFORTH: Youre an independent woman i like and respect that but right now at this particular juncture of what the absolute fuck is going on we should probably stick together until were not just in a forest with snow also sup penny pleasure to meet you names davenforth

PENNY: look.

PENNY: I just dont want to deal with her.

RILEY: oh jesus christ.

ROXANNE: -Just chilling with Qirin. She aint going near that whole family debacle happening.-

HIGHBLOOD(?): =From somewhere........ a pie appears in Riley's hand=

RILEY: ...

DAVENFORTH: Who riley come on she aint that bad bark is definitely worse than the bite

MAYOR: -ponders, pulling out his YARDSTICK SPEAR. he begins drawing something in the snow...-

RILEY: -sufficiently distracted by there being a pie in her hands all of a sudden. is anybody else seeing this?-

HIGHBLOOD(?): =With a cherry=

PENNY: Im pretty sure I know what shes capable of thanks.

ROXANNE: -Yikes and she thought her and Ruth were bad.-

DAVENFORTH: Im not gonna doubt that but we should still stick together

DAVENFORTH: Just because shes here dont mean you gotta talk to her though

RILEY: -holding this pie with a cherry on top.- oh god i'm having one of those weird dreams again aren't i?

ROXANNE: -Nope, you arent Riley.-

DEREK: -pinches riley's arm-

MAYOR: -he's DONE WITH HIS DRAWING. he turns and scampers up to penny and pokes her in the side with his spear thingy.-

HIGHBLOOD(?): =DO IT.... is she not gonna do it.... it's a great pie...... says the universe=

DAVENFORTH: Maybe the mayor can help better

RILEY: -slaps derek's arm as an automatic reflex- oh. nope. -WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS PIE. do you want me to stick it in someone's FACE?-

DAVENFORTH: Thanks mayor

PENNY: cool cuz dont expect that to work.

QIRIN: =hangin back here with Roxanne. For the same reasons. Dave's got this handled.=

DAVENFORTH: -He does not, in fact, have this handled.-

HIGHBLOOD(?): =What else are pies for... it's a sleepytime pie. Maybe. PRobably=

ROXANNE: -Nah, you got it handled.-

PENNY: -looks down at Mayor.- ??

ROXANNE: -Produces a scarf and silently offers it to Qirin. Shes got a lot, but they wont match the coats..-

RILEY: -inspects the pie further. a sleepytime pie? do you want me to put my sister to SLEEP-

MAYOR: -POINTS AT HIS FINISHED PIECE. it appears to be a large checkerboard carefully drawn in the snow, complete with the pieces!!!! there are white ones and black ones. The black ones are represented by his footprints, while the white ones are basically just circles. They appear to be in a position of CHECK, judging by the fact that the king is surrounded, and the rook and queen are on other sides of the biard, and the black pieces have like THREE WHOLE QUEENS, but nevetherless, it is not yet checkmate. He points to the king and then draws a line to an empty space.-

HIGHBLOOD(?): :o)

MAYOR: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

QIRIN: ^o^ =pleasantly surprised= Oh thank you, Roxanne. How kind of you.

ROXANNE: No problem, Q.

QIRIN: =gazes intently at this drawing=

RILEY: -only if...she wants to go off on her own again...-

PENNY: -stares intently down at this chess board... and looks back at the Mayor.- sorry bud but I got no fuckin clue what youre trying to tell me.

MAYOR: -THROWS HIS ARMS UP-

MAYOR: -ENDOMORPHS ARE HOPELESS-

PENNY: heh.

PENNY: youre pretty cute tho.

MAYOR: -points to his sash again-

PENNY: ...mayo....R.

MAYOR: -jitters-

PENNY: ohhhh. Mayor??

MAYOR: -JITTERS!!!!-

RILEY: -come on little dude. you can get her to stay-

PENNY: I got no idea what mayoring has to do with games but its cool I guess.

MAYOR: -jitters his way back over to the snowboard and begins doing some changes, plopping some snow on top of the kind and drawing in a NEW piece, in a relatively safe spot and NOT in check, before drawing some arrows from the other rook and queen.- He points excitedly at it.-

PENNY: .... were winning chess?

MAYOR: -shakes his head. THUMBS DOWN. definitely losing.-

PENNY: look I wasnt that much of a nerd in high school. I can kick ass at Connect Four though.

PENNY: okay. we suck at chess. thats accurate.

DAVENFORTH: -Hear him in your HEART penny-

MAYOR: -hmm, hmm. He points to her, and then he points to the king. And then he draws a little picture of one of the bishops putting the king in check on top of the king's head.-

MAYOR: -THEN he points at the rook and the queen, pointing at Davenforth and Derek.-

PENNY: ...

ROXANNE: -So Derek or Davenforth are the queen and the other is a rook.-

MAYOR: -he doesn't know what piece u are. HE DOESN'T KNOW YOU LADY-

PENNY: alright. sunglass guys are badasses.

DEREK: -thumbs up-

PENNY: -SIGHS-

RILEY: -elbows him-

MAYOR: ...

MAYOR: -OK SO NOW HE JUST JUMPS ALL OVER THE SNOW, drawing a bunch of pieces around the king. And then a CIRCLE around them.-

PENNY: yeah yeah okay I get it.

PENNY: if I run off Im boned.

PENNY: is that what youre trying to tell me?

MAYOR: -NODS-

MAYOR: -you've only got one move in check-

PENNY: well Ive basically been boned my whole life so thats really nothing new.

PENNY: I like you though.

MAYOR: -jitters a shaky thumbs up-

DEREK: -ELBOW'D OOF.- So were stickin together this time gang?

PENNY: here cmere you look cold as balls. -shuffles over to wrap mayor up in her rainbow funtime coat-

MAYOR: -! -THAT IS KIND. he is hard, like the kind of resin that'd go around a chess piece. UNSURPRISINGLY-

PENNY: -he is a friend...- yeah I guess.

RILEY: -relief-

DAVENFORTH: Told you the mayor is the best

DAVENFORTH: Thanks mayor

DEREK: Groovy.

RILEY: i don't think i ever want you to say that again. -at Derek.-

DEREK: What? It is groovy.

ROXANNE: -Clears throat- Not ta' break this fun time up but.

DEREK: -smirks, then slips an arm around here- So we movin or did I just agree to freezin to death with yall?

ROXANNE: We good to move-

ROXANNE: Yeah what Derek just said.

DEREK: Great minds.

RILEY: -leans into him and sighs- let's go.

DEREK: -PROCEEDS-

ROXANNE: -LIKEWISE. Shes ready to march.-

MAYOR: -scampers along inside a coat-

DAVENFORTH: -Goes to check on Lifera again- You need another coat

RILEY: -might be slowing derek a little down by how she's trying to guarantee penny is going with them-

LIFERA: I need. Probubbly. Ten coats.

PENNY: -shuffles with the mayo. she's very tempted to scoop him up like a kid....-

ROXANNE: -Does the fish queen want scarves? She has scarves.-

LIFERA: -YES-

MAYOR: -HE IS AN ELECTED OFFICIAL-

ROXANNE: -Slows her walk enough so that she can distribute them to anyone who wants them.- Life time a knitting finally came in handy. Thank you highschool arts an'crafts.

QIRIN: =Takes a couple small cloth packs out of her sylladex, shakes them up, and hands them over to Lifera.=

QIRIN: Please, take them. They are hand warmers.

ROXANNE: -YOU get a scarf and YOU get a scarf. They are long and thick, and come in a bunch of different colors (Although mostly shades of purple)-

DAVENFORTH: -Uncaptchas his red trench coat and drapes it over Lifera. It's his favorite coat ever. Don't let anything happen to it.-

[Eventually they make it to the clowny congregation. Upon closer inspection, it's almost like... a clown shanty town, if such a thing exists. It's grungy. A chicken is running through the middle of the town. There are people wandering around -- humans in face paint. From one of the tents (maybe) this tune is playing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqEwX9Orp7M

]

HIGHBLOOD: =He's been here the whole time. Staring...... watching......... in disbelief=

ROXANNE: -........Wow. This sure is something.-

LIFERA: -piles all these articles on her body in the walk- Glub... T)(ANK you.

LIFERA: ... -stares at all this-

QIRIN: ^ ^

DEREK: Oh for fucks sake.

DAVENFORTH: No

PENNY: .......

DEREK: Come on guys we leavin.

PENNY: -starts turning her and mayor around in a slow circle-

DEREK: -TURNS HIMSELF AND RILEY AROUND-

DAVENFORTH: Lets go the other way

PENNY: throw that ass in a circle the fuck out.

LIFERA: WAD-----E.

QIRIN: I am inclined to agree.

HIGHBLOOD: =Suddenly....... spiky club=

LIFERA: LOOK. They seem mostly... )(UMAN?

LIFERA: Maybe.

QIRIN: !

DAVENFORTH: Even worse

RILEY: where the hell are we?

LIFERA: It's probubbly some sort of... new jurisdiction.

ROXANNE: -Seconds that !- 

ROXANNE: -Although shes also carrying a gun, she has no room to talk on the weapons front, but seeing a spike wielding giant is a little more intimidating.-

RILEY: oh. hey. big guy. whatcha doing?

LIFERA: -side eyes GHB-

MAYOR: -HIDES HIS EYES-

PENNY: -also hides his eyes. you are safe now.-

HIGHBLOOD: =drapes his rainbow robes over a fence and ominously drags the club right into town= cleanin a stain upon mine religion

QIRIN: ...

TAKODA: -OH YEAH HE'S HERE-

TAKODA: UMMM.

DAVENFORTH: Woah there

TAKODA: TH1S SEEMS L1KE A MOMENT, WHERE 1 M1GHT WANT TO TRY SOME... D1PLOMACY...

ROXANNE: Hhh. Might wanna' try it fast then.

RILEY: -makes a horrified face- wait, what?

ROXANNE: -But no, big clown wont really go smash all these tents up right? RIGHT??-

HIGHBLOOD: =EYEBALLS..... his bro gaizka gets the boink on with this brown he knows......... Hm...... flexes his jaw and holds up a big palm= two minutes. =uncharacteristically sensible...ish=

TAKODA: -smiles, clasping hands together- GREAT! AH... 

TAKODA: LET'S ASK THEM 1F THEY MAYBE... HAVE SOME MODE OF TRANSPORTAT1ON, WE CAN BORROW, OR UH... PURCHASE, 1F NEED BE?

HIGHBLOOD: take.

LIFERA: GLUB.

HIGHBLOOD: i ain't buyin shit from no motherfuckin blasphemors

LIFERA: Let us do something NOW, then, shell we????

RILEY: (is being a juggalo a real religion now?) -very quietly so as not to offend the big guy-

DEREK: (Yeah its a weird troll thing.)

RILEY: (oh my god.)

DAVENFORTH: Thought youd proud to see some like minded thinkers whats wrong big guy

HIGHBLOOD: =Looks down to Davenforth, unamused= ain't likeminded 

HIGHBLOOD: they got shit twisted, i'm inclined as a motherfuck of strong beliefs to untwist them

TAKODA: -bravely tries to address a lady juggalo- JUGGALETTE: -turns around and she's topless- 

TAKODA: OH. YOUR RUMBLE SPHERES. ARE OUT 1N THE OPEN, 1 SEE. 

TAKODA: ... 1SN'T 1T A L1TTLE COLD? -proceeds to try to convince her to put a coat on-

HIGHBLOOD: =That's right..... eat up your time=

LIFERA: -just starts aggressively walking through this village of weird human anger clowns-

DAVENFORTH: -Baybe?-

DAVENFORTH: Looks all the same to me bunch of face paint drowning their lives out in sugar and drugs

RILEY: can't we just steal from them? that would be more fun than killing them.

[Lifera passes by two juggalos taking turns hitting each other in the face with a street sign. You know, just for fun.]

DAVENFORTH: A lot less reserved though

DAVENFORTH: Definitely not as dangerous

RILEY: find me a car and i'll hotwire us out of here.

LIFERA: ...-wtf-...

HIGHBLOOD: it ain't the same and diplomacy's gotta clock 

HIGHBLOOD: don't know what motherfuckin mockery of bullshit this is but i'm fit to stamp it out, you ain't eager to cease my stampins for all the ignorance you spit sos i jive with that at least

LIFERA: -She's looking for any sort of shelter or transport they can use before things get ugly, plus she's freezing.-

QIRIN: =...= ... 

QIRIN: .............

[She eventually comes upon a big party bus. It's all graffiti'd up with weird little symbols of a dude with a hatchet, also covered in what's probably mud and blood...]

DAVENFORTH: If youre gonna stomp out some mostly harmless folks then ill definitely stop that they aint hurtin nobody but themselves

RILEY: (is this really a conversation we're having right now.)

DAVENFORTH: Dont sweat em they aint the issue

LIFERA: -LOUD GLUBBING.- OV-ER )(-ER--------E!

HIGHBLOOD: =He sighs, looking around again at all these humans shitting on his religion, hand flexes on the club= can't stop inevitable broseph 

HIGHBLOOD: but the snake cranium is much preferred =Looks Lifera-ward and starts to drag his club through town again=

DAVENFORTH: -Zips over.-

[The door to the party busy is just... open... A chicken glides out.]

LIFERA: -watches it go...- 

LIFERA: .... I'M S)(OR-E IT'S FIN-E.

LIFERA: 38)

QIRIN: ......

DEREK: Ive traveled in worse conditions.

RILEY: jesus. 

RILEY: i haven't traveled in anything with blood on it. well...not THAT much.

PENNY: lmao Id be surprised if my car DIDNT have blood on it.

PENNY: speaking of which miss you baby.

PENNY: everybody in before I freeze my titties off.

DAVENFORTH: Cover your tits then damn are the juggalos getting to you already

QIRIN: =what is life=

HIGHBLOOD: =Eyeballs the devil settlement= ....... =He'll be back=

DAVENFORTH: -Yells for Takoda-

PENNY: hey I could get down with some free titties.

RILEY: -gets her ass on this bus and takes a seat. her feet hurt and ryan's being rowdy-

TAKODA: HUH? OH. 1T WAS N1CE MEET1NG YOU PLEASE PUT ON A SH1RT-- -runs back over to his FRIENDS-

HIGHBLOOD: =If only everyone wasn't so proactive...... is salty, is seething. Is texting in the back and surprisingly..... not weighing this van down like mofo?=

PENNY: -he's like a bird.... in colorful feathers...-

HIGHBLOOD: =A goose=

HIGHBLOOD: =HO NK=

DAVENFORTH: Koda i nominate you for bus driver

TAKODA: }:D TAKODA: THAT SOUNDS L1KE FUN. -gets in the driver's seat. the keys are just... in there.-

DAVENFORTH: Dont crash us bro -Takes a seat-

LIFERA: -snuggles up with Davenforth almost immediately. WARM HER.-

DAVENFORTH: -Space Heater protocol: Commence-

TAKODA: -once everyone is in... he tries to back up, only to accidentally crash into a tent- WHOOPS. 

TAKODA: 1'VE NEVER DR1VEN A LAND VEH1CLE... W1TH TH1S MUCH CLEARANCE BEFORE. JUST... JUST A SECOND... -forward again, carefully trying to maneuver... backs into another tent.- 

TAKODA: SH1T. UHH... -does this several more times before they can pull out of this spot and drive OUT of the settlement-

RILEY: -JERKS FORWARD and grabs onto the seat in front of her- holy shit.

QIRIN: =clears her throat= Are you sure about this?

HIGHBLOOD: =Good yes=

QIRIN: Takoda?

TAKODA: YES, SORRY. WE SHOULD BE GOOD NOW. }:) -sweats... driving down the road from the now partially demolished settlement. the mirthful messiahs were in GHB's favor.-

RILEY: carry on soldier.

QIRIN: =she's gonna stay awake....just in case....=

HIGHBLOOD: =this is why he's a faithful devote believer... he'll fix this. They know he will=

TAKODA: -turns on the radio and icp is playing... on every station- ... UMM. -the quiet is better anyway. he'll keep driving until somebody requests a stop, but there's at least a bathroom on the bus. it might be the worst thing they've ever seen, but it is a bathroom.-

QIRIN: =sideeyes takoda when the radio comes on=

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 22, Rebel Concert

[The night has finally arrived! It's amazing how many college kids you can even fit into this theater. Everything is up and running the lights are flashing, and dammit...It's lit. First, Davenforth makes his way to the stage.]

DAVENFORTH: Sup tonight everybody thanks for the turn out

DAVENFORTH: As we all know this country has been run by clowns in the past but in a figurative sense never this literal

MAYOR: -he is WAITING IN THE WINGS. extremely nervously, even for the CONSTANTLY SHAKING MAYOR-

DAVENFORTH: However theres no denying that history was made with probably one of the most bogus elections in the history of this nation and for that some friends and i decided to throw down for them

QIRIN: =She placed a hand upon the Mayor's shoulder and gave it a gentle pat. He'll do splendidly, she believes in him.= ^_^

DAVENFORTH: This concert these songs and deez nuts are dedicated to you two -His shades gleam at the camera as he kisses a peace sign at it.-

DAVENFORTH: Alright lets get this shit rollin

JEFF: =doing nerd things most definitely=

DAVENFORTH: Our first performer is guaranteed to warm your hearts with his vocal stylings as well as his charming good looks truthfully he needs no introduction but here it is anyway give it up for takoda

QIRIN: =claps from backstage=

ERIDAN: -Oh hey mayor, look at that. Where'd the soda bottle come from. Nobody knows but have a cold one anyway.-

MAYOR: !

RILEY: -IS THERE A FISH OVER THERE-

MAYOR: -HE WILL- MAYOR: -the sugar makes him jitter even more in fact but it's nice to have anyways-

DAVENFORTH: -Exits the stage and just pats the Mayor's back-

QIRIN: =soda wont help your vocal chords sir=

MAYOR: -soda helps everything-

GAIZKA: =He's an audience member for this. He's never had any good vocal chords or been particularly musically gifted... Besides he's been in the church eating snacks for the most part. Regardless, he is here, and he is chinhandsing at the stage.=

TAKODA: -HE'S HERE, scurrying out onto the stage, giving the crowd a lopsided smile.- HELLO, EVERYBODY. -greets them cheesily, settling himself in front of the mic- TAKODA: 1'M NO STRANGER TO TH1S WHOLE UH... FREEDOM F1GHT1NG TH1NG. THERE'S A LOT OF SACR1F1CES TO BE MADE, WHEN TH1NGS NEED TO CHANGE... BUT ABOVE ALL, 1 KNOW YOU HAVE TO STAY STRONG. TAKODA: BEL1EVE 1N YOURSELF, AND THE PEOPLE F1GHT1NG BES1DE YOU. TAKODA: ANYWAY, OKAY... HERE WE GO.

ERIDAN: -Hell no. He's here for security purposes. Wielding an actual assault rifle on his person in case anything gets the drop on them from above. Nobody look at him...-

GAIZKA: =Whoops and blows kisses.= ;o)

TAKODA: -GOSH-

GAIZKA: FuCkInG pReAcH.

TAKODA: CHANGES WON'T COME OVERN1IGHT FOR TH1S 1 PLEDGE TO F1GHT WE ALL HAVE BEEN DECE1VED TH1S 1S OUR REAL1TY

GAIZKA: MoThErFuCkInG inspirational as all HeLlS. =CHINHANDS...=

TAKODA: ARE YOU READY TO DO ALL THAT YOU CAN? TO STOP THE UNSTOPPABLE UNSTOPPABLE

DAVENFORTH: -He's not shocked by this at all. Gdi Takoda-

TAKODA: -HE SWAYS. WE GOTTA START ON AN UPBEAT NOTE, DAVE };) -

DAVENFORTH: -You beautiful hecker-

TAKODA: -NOW we can pick up the pace here-

TAKODA: 1 ONCE KNEW A GUY OBSESSED W1TH THE AFTERL1FE OH, WHAT A TERR1BLE DAY THAT WAS... HE REAL1ZED HE WASTED ALL H1S T1ME T1ME WAS T1CK1NG BY, AND HE'D BEEN LEFT BEH1ND AND AS THE CLOCK T1CK TOCKED H1S HEART D1D STOP AND EVERYTH1NG HE HAD WAS FUCKED

TAKODA: -this one is slightly more personal too...-

TAKODA: AND WHEN WE FALL, WE W1LL FALL TOGETHER NO ONE W1LL CATCH US, SO WE'LL CATCH OURSELVES

TAKODA: THE BEATEN AND THE BRU1SED, FORSAKEN AND ABUSED OH WHAT A GLOR1OUS DAY WE'LL HAVE, R1S1NG UP AND CLA1M1NG OUR DUES

TAKODA: NOW W1TH THE L1NE DRAWN 1N THE WET SAND YOU NEED TO TELL US WHERE TO STAND S1TT1NG WA1T1NG WATCH1NG ROTT1NG, EVERYTH1NG THEY WARNED US OF 1S TRUE NOW TELL ME WHAT WE'RE ALL SUPPOSED TO DO?

TAKODA: THEY'RE COM1NG AFTER ALL OF US W1TH EVERYTH1NG THEY'VE GOT

TAKODA: W1TH THE FURY OF A SOLD1ER WHO W1LL ANSWER TO H1S GOD

TAKODA: SO HOW W1LL WE FIGHT? ALL WE HAVE 1S LOG1C AND LOVE ON OUR S1DE

TAKODA: -AND HE'S DONE-

GAIZKA: =More adoring whooping, yes. :'o) He's so proud.=

DAVENFORTH: -Loud cheering from backstage!-

ERIDAN: -it was alright.-

RILEY: -lots of clapping-

TAKODA: -beams at the crowd, finding gaizka in particular with his smiles... and with a wave he hops away-

KURLOZ: =golf clapping in his booth=

DAVENFORTH: -He hop...-

GAIZKA: =Makes eyecontact and makes a kissy face.=

RILEY: -she's jittery. she hasn't performed for the public in a very long time and it always makes her nervous no matter how long she's been doing this-

DAVENFORTH: -Wait shit oh yeah he should intro the big lorge now-

DAVENFORTH: -Appearing back on stage just as wonderful and lovely and handsome as ever before.-

DAVENFORTH: Hell yeah thats how we get things started but whats that you want more well how about a nine hundred pound gorilla playing a saxophone

DAVENFORTH: Not fucking possible well we got the next best thing

DAVENFORTH: Its the scariest motherfucker you never heard of the massacrer of rainbows the goddamn grand highblood himself

DAVENFORTH: Also after this performance ill be lettin my brother and special guest take over hostin duties

DAVENFORTH: -Disappears backstage. he must change.-

GAIZKA: =Cheers for his caste brother from another mother (grub).=

HIGHBLOOD: =drops a pie on Davenforth as they pass. To help him prep. He's no stranger to performances, especially not doing so for his sweet rail whom he knows is watching. He feels it in his horn. Steps out on stage with a sax, yeah get ready for it childrens=

DAVENFORTH: -Passes this pie to the mayor-

MAYOR: -MESSILY EATS IT-

HIGHBLOOD: =he plays along with the guitar then pulls back sings into the mic= HIGHBLOOD: about time for anyone telling you off for all your deeds HIGHBLOOD: no sign the roaring thunder stopped in cold to read HIGHBLOOD: i get mine and make no excuses; waste of precious breath the sun shines on everyone, everyone love yourself to death

HIGHBLOOD: so you gotta fire up, you gotta let got you'll never be loved 'til you've made your own HIGHBLOOD: you gotta face up, you gotta get yours you never know the top 'til you get too low =LIKE HUMAN CLOWNS FOR INSTANCE WHAT THE FUCK CONDS. Anyway time for him to fuck it up on sax=

HIGHBLOOD: life isn't always what you think it'd be turn your head for one second and the tables turn and i know, i know that i did you wrong HIGHBLOOD: but will you trust me when i say that i'll make it up to you somehow, somehow =gets jazzy for the rest of this=

RILEY: -OH HELL YEAH-

ERIDAN: -wall eyed and distantly having an out of body experience. The actual Grand Highblood.-

GAIZKA: =Smooth jazz... Hells to the yeas.=

HIGHBLOOD: =he'll sing this one= another loose canoon gone bi-polar slipped down couldn't get much lower quick sands got no sense of humor, i'm stil laughing like hellllll

HIGHBLOOD: =soft in the mic= i created the sound of madness wrote the book on pain. HIGHBLOOD: somehow i'm still here, to explain, HIGHBLOOD: That the darkest hour never comes in the night. you can sleep with a gun. HIGHBLOOD: when you gonna wake up... when you gonna wake up and fight...

HIGHBLOOD: =And he's done, he backs on up and goes off stage once more=

RILEY: -aggressive clapping- NICE!

ERIDAN: -excusing himself to the hygieneblock for a moment to run some salt water thru his gills. Can't breathe. Nbd.-

ERIDAN: -all t his fucking god damn motherufcking anxiety.-

????: -Who the heck is this daft punk, power rangers lookin ass mofo behind stage. None other than Dave Skellington of course. Yes hello everyone. He gives a slight bow to ghb and nice little clap. The screen on his helmet lights up and the word "nice!" scrolls across.-

HIGHBLOOD: =ruffles Riley's hair and grins= many thanks sis =also eyeballs this broseph....bruh= :o)

????: - ":o)' He even has a little honk sound effect! Honk!-

MAYOR: -A the stage is vacated he is wheeling out some kind of... HUGE PILE OF FURNITURE. It's all supported by dollies and handcarts and what have you but it still effectively looks like a big barricade made out of trash, being wheeled out single handedly by a tiny carapacian in rags. He begins to climb up the heap once it's fully on stage, reaching the top and raising a bright red flag...- MAYOR: -Using his free hand he tugs down the rags around his face, pulls off his hood, and just sort of stares at the crowd for a good long while from atop his trash heap.-

????: ....

????: -BRUH-

MAYOR: -When he finally opens his mouth to sing, it is BOOMING and OPERATIC. And he starts marching back and forth across the barricade, waving his flag.-

MAYOR: DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING? SINGING THE SONG OF ANGRY MEN! IT IS THE MUSIC OF A PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN WHEN THE BEATING OF YOUR HEART ECHOES THE BEATING OF THE DRUMS

MAYOR: THERE IS A LIFE ABOUT TO START WHEN TOMORROW COMES!!!

RILEY: -okay this is making her a little TOO teary don't fuck up her makeup mayor-

????: -What the fuck though?-

????: !!!!

DEREK: -arms crossed while watching this- Daaaamn. Fuck it up lil dude.

QIRIN: 8D

MAYOR: -When he's done singing he just sorta looks at the audience again. Then he just sorta. Drops his flag on the floor and wheels the barricade away again, without ANY kind of ado.-

MAYOR: O_O

KURLOZ: =nice, claps=

????: -Offers him a TAB behind stage. You know who he is, little friend.-

MAYOR: -TAKES IT AND GUZZLES IT ALL-

????: -Gently elbows Derek. Come on lets go do the host thing.-

QIRIN: =she's clapping!! hell yeah carapacian power!=

DEREK: -nod nod. HERE THEY GO. he saunters on out to the stage.- DEREK: If that didnt get you hype then I dunno what the fuck will. DEREK: Oh yeah maybe our special guest here. DEREK: -gestures to the man beside him- The one and only... The supposedly dead... DEREK: Dave Skellington. DEREK: Come on give it up.

RILEY: -she has to fuck around a little- HOW DO WE KNOW IT'S REALLY YOU DAVE SKELLINGTON? -she yells from offstage-

DAVE: !!!! -Yes hello! He waves at the audience. His adoring fans. He never left you. Holds up his finger to the audience and flings a moonpie backstage at Riley.-

RILEY: -dodges-

DAVE: :D -Back to you guys! Gives Derek a thumbs up. You ever seen a pregnant lady do a dodge roll? You missed it backstage.-

RILEY: -rude ass motherfucker-

[HOWEVER. The audience is p excite. Sure, the chances of this being the ACTUAL Dave Skellington are fucking slim. That guy bit it forever ago. But this person was at least good at acting like they're a happy robot man and for that, they will cheer.]

DEREK: -snorts- Hey I dont blame anybody for bein skeptical. DEREK: But if you keep tunin in I promise youll get your questions answered. DEREK: Our next performer is reppin the carapacian community too. Shes one cool lady and shes got some important shit to say. DEREK: Come on out Qirin.

DAVE: -Mgs Alert sound from his helmet- !

ERIDAN: -guzzling water about the White Queen of Prospit happening on stage now. Flush it out the gills, Ampora. Just flush it out the gills.-

KURLOZ: =😒 can you take that shit elsewhere?=

QIRIN: =Here comes the (ex)Queen walking out onto the stage with a bowl drum. (It may look quite familiar to Dirk, actually.) She waves at the crowd.= QIRIN: Hello, patrons and viewers, friends and family, here or very far away. ^_^ QIRIN: The universe has never been more broken or divided, but especially in times like these, we must remember who we are. It is easy to waver from that and lose sight of our path, but despite the trials we face we must not lose sight of ourselves. Sentinels of Earth. Warriors of truth, justice, and peace. My dear children of Prospit. ...The dreaming dead. Here is to you.

DAVE: -Brother I'm dying in this thing how did I do it for so long...-

DEREK: -WHO EVEN KNOWS YA DINGUS. drags him back stage though.-

QIRIN: Many nights we've prayed with no proof anyone could hear. In our hearts, a hopeful song we barely understood. Now we are not afraid although we know there's much to fear. We were moving mountains long before we knew we could.

QIRIN: There can be miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe.

QIRIN: =The melody begins soft and sweet but it is soon evident that it's turning as metal as this drum.=

QIRIN: In this time of fear when prayer so often proves in vain hope seems like the summer birds too swiftly flown away. Yet now I'm standing here my heart so full I can't explain. seeking faith and speaking words I never thought I'll say.

DAVE: -He has the strangest heart boner right now....-

QIRIN: There can be miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe.

QIRIN: They don't always happen when you ask and it's easy to give in to your fears but when you're blinded by your pain can't see the way, get through the rain. A small but still, resilient voice says hope is very near.

QIRIN: Miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe.

QIRIN: You will when you believe.

QIRIN: =she began soft motions on the drum, her fingers hovering over the notes.= QIRIN: Well, I came home like a stone and I fell heavy into your arms. These days of dust which we've known will blow away with this new sun. QIRIN: But I'll kneel down, wait for now and I'll kneel down, know my ground. QIRIN: And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you.

QIRIN: So break my step and relent. Well, you forgave and I won't forget. know what we've seen and him with less now in some way shake the excess.

QIRIN: 'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you.

QIRIN: Now I'll be bold as well as strong and use my head alongside my heart. So tame my flesh and fix my eyes: a tethered mind freed from the lies.

RILEY: -cANT HANDLE THIS-

RILEY: -THE TEARS-

QIRIN: But I'll kneel down, wait for now and I'll kneel down, know my ground.

QIRIN: 'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you.

QIRIN: =she quickly transitioned to a new melody, moving along the drum once again.= QIRIN: The captivity of despair wrangles jurisdiction. The rule of Tyranny. Sorrow and fear of servitude. The victory and respect for a great journey.

QIRIN: We hope for liberation, we want our deliverance, we would be glad of redemption, with liberation. Deliver us, we celebrate happiness.

QIRIN: The brotherhood rejoicing, we delight in courage. the celebration of freedom and faith, Success of harmony and love, The victory and respect for a great journey.

QIRIN: We hope for liberation, we want our deliverance, we would be glad of redemption, with liberation. Deliver us, we celebrate happiness.

QIRIN: Respect for life, live with faith in freedom the magnificence of life, live with care.

ERIDAN: -Good thing he's hiding in the hygeineblock. The music is so loud, he can still hear it. Of all the songs to move his stupid bleeding bloodpusher, it's this one. Eridan scrubs the ridiculous violet tears from under his glasses. He feels like such a wriggler. Bluh.- ERIDAN: -after a while, he replaces the salt water with faygo. Guzzling the whole bottle down until the sugar buzzes in his veins anew. He'll blame it on that.-

QIRIN: We hope for liberation, we want our deliverance, we would be glad of redemption, with liberation. Deliver us, we celebrate happiness.

DAVE: -MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOHMYGOD-

DAVE: -Points at Qirin, ";)"-

RILEY: -literally just repeatedly (lightly) hitting derek's arm with the back of her hand to distract her from ALL THE FEELINGS-

DEREK: -babe PLEASE-

QIRIN: =fingerguns at Dave= ^u^

DAVE: -Pokes his head back out. The audience cheers! Yay. Being loved is nice. He's going to casually stroll up to the mic, kind of inspecting it. Then he taps on it, yep still working. Shortly there's a crackle and the sound of slightly heavy breathing. Dave goes to speak and well...this motherfucker sounds like Bane.-

DAVE: You would not believe, just how long it has been since I used my own voice. Yes, thank you very much Qirin. Your gilded voice has seeped into the very essence of our beings, striking a chord of resonance on our heart strings. Please, another round of applause for her.

RILEY: -what a dork-

DEREK: -HOOTS AND HOLLERS BACK HERE-

DAVE: A moment, if you will let me have it.

QIRIN: =hand flaps. Oh u.=

DAVE: No one cared about who I was until I put on the mask, and from there I created an identity, became a symbol. With this level of anonymity affords you...certain freedoms, and I took full advantage of them. For the most part of my career, I have been on your holovisions, in your theaters, and my message has been known. It is documented and clear. The dangers that have befallen this planet were...well to be expected. However, I am no longer just going to idly sit by and warn. I will take action. That is what this night is about. Hopefully, you will join us. I know that I was "murdered" some time ago. As you can see, this is further from the truth. My identity is still sealed. Tonight...I will reveal it. However, the time is not yet. There is a surprise you must receive first. Thank you...here is your next performer.

PENNY: -She walks out onto stage, looking a little jittery -- maybe like she's full of anxious energy -- and not exactly making eye contact with anybody. She grabs the microphone stand and pulls the mic closer, staring down into it before speaking.- PENNY: you dont know who I am. PENNY: but Im still up on this stage. and they dont know who you are?? but youre still on the stage of your fucking lives and its time to step up and perform!! PENNY: they aint taking me off it yet. -nods for the music to start-

PENNY: your backs against the wall theres no one home to call youre forgetting who you are you cant stop crying. its part not giving in part trusting your friends you do it all again and Im not lying. oh oh oh... standing in the way of control! yeah live your lives by the only way that you know know! Im doing this for you because its easier to lose and its hard to face the truth when you think youre dying. its part not giving in and part trusting your friends you do it all again but you dont stop trying. oh oh oh... standing in the way of control! Yeah live your lives by the only way that you know know! oh oh oh... standing in the way of control! well live our lives because were standing in the way of control! we will live our lives because were standing in the way of control! well live our lives because were standing in the way of control! we will live our lives, lives, lives! your backs against the wall theres no one home to call youre forgetting who you are you cant stop crying. its part not giving in and part trusting your friends you do it all again you dont stop trying! oh oh oh... standing in the way of control! yeah live your lives by the only way that you know know!

RILEY: -eyes glued to her sister. what a great voice she has too...damn-

PENNY: nobody showed you how to live? me either. get a steady job, couple kids act decent. but Ive been on a ten-speed thinking about the time as the sun sets like what would I do different if I hit rewind and did it again? PENNY: I tried to figure it out but nothing was coming to mind. remembered all my mistakes but the memories made me smile. I told the one that I loved that love would mean letting me go. even though I was afraid you gotta do some things on your own. PENNY: this one goes out to all the dreamers at sea this life is only what you want it to be and I want more, I want more, I want more, I want more! PENNY: you go to heaven when you die Im betting. youre still with me on the line? just checking. cause Ive been making fast friends, late at night the kind when the sun sets. like waking up and thinking honey why I do it again? PENNY: I came to in a cold sweat with a nosebleed feeling hopeless. thought I maybe might be dead til I got my pen sat down and wrote this. suddenly I felt fine inside a mind so full of ghosts. the darkest nights mean you see the stars the most. PENNY: this one goes out to all the dreamers at sea this life is only what you want it to be and I want more, I want more, I want more, I want more! PENNY: I used to knock on wood I used to never curse I used to think I could control the universe With my obsessive thoughts and what felt like a prayer I shouted to the sky dont let my family disappear. I used to feel alone I used to not belong but little did I know I had the power all along. the only thing to fear is never being scared.

[Suddenly, all the lights in the venue are out. The music starts to play. Some backlights turn on. WHO ARE THESE SILLHOUETTES?]

RILEY: off with your head dance til you're dead heads will roll heads will roll heads will roll on the floor [SURPRISE IT'S RILEY AND PENNY also known as Robyn Saint and that girl]

PENNY: glitter on the west streets silver over everything the rivers all wet you're all chrome

RILEY: dripping with alchemy shiver stop shivering the glitter's all wet you're all chrome

PENNY: the men cry out the girls cry out the men cry out the girls cry out the men cry out, oh no

RILEY: the men cry out the girls cry out the men cry out the girls cry out the men cry out, oh no

PENNY: off, off with your head dance, dance til you're dead heads will roll heads will roll heads will roll on the floor

RILEY: looking glass take the past shut your eyes mirror lies

PENNY: looking glass take the past shut your eyes mirror lies

RILEY: dripping with alchemy shiver stop shivering the glitter's all wet you're all chrome you're all chrome

PENNY: off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead

RILEY: off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead

RILEY: -GRINNING AT PENNY THO. THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME-

PENNY: -she's smiling too, and then taking a moment with the mic and then gesturing at Riley- everyone. my sister Robyn Saint!

PENNY: -finally scurries off stage-

RILEY: -waves at the people, laughing a little. nerves are out now thank god- surprise! not dead. louie, if you're watching...i'm sorry... but hey. let's take advantage of the time we got and play some songs most people know? or nobody knows. not my songs. anyway. let's get this thing going.

RILEY: -voice low and slow and sultry- welcome to your life there's no turning back even while we sleep we will find you

RILEY: acting on your best behavior turn your back on mother nature everybody wants to rule the world

RILEY: it's my own design it's my own remorse help me to decide help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure nothing ever lasts forever everybody wants to rule the world

RILEY: -looking at one of the cameras- there's a room where the light won't find you holding hands while the walls come tumbling down when they do i'll be right behind you

RILEY: so glad we've almost made it so sad they had to fade it ;( everybody wants to rule the world everybody wants to rule the world everybody wants to rule the world -have two middle fingers cameraward and a dramatic curtsy-

RILEY: paranoia is in bloom the pr transmissions will resume they'll try to push drugs that keep us all dumbed down and hope that we will never see the truth around so come on

RILEY: another promise another scene another packaged lie to keep us trapped in greed and all the green belts wrapped around our minds and endless red tape to keep the truth confined so come on

RILEY: -guitar time- they will not force us they will stop degrading us they will not control us we will be victorious so come on interchanging mind control come let the revolution take its toll if you could flick a switch and open your third eye you'd see that we should never be afraid to die -fist in the air- so come on

RILEY: rise up and take the power back it's time the fat cats had a heart attack you know that their time's coming to an end we have to unify and watch our flag ascend

RILEY: -here we go- they will not force us they will stop degrading us they will not control us we will be victorious

DEREK: - 😍 -

RILEY: thanks guys. my hair keeps getting in my face. how do you like it? it's long and shit. i'm lazy. RILEY: but something doesn't feel right with me being the only one up here... -looks quizzically around...obviously intentionally-

DAVE: -He's walking on stage with a microphone- Please, leave the acting to me Ms. Saint.

LIFERA: -👀 somewhere-

ERIDAN: -has slunk up to watch the concert from the rooftops. Eyes on the sky, he's listening rather. This is visually safer for him.-

RILEY: -perfect time for banter- i would if you, you know...were up here. someone's gotta pick up the slack.

DAVE: By all means, pick up as much as you want. I've been deceased for nearly a year, want do you want from me?

DAVE: -Stands next to her-

RILEY: and i've been declared missing. but i'm not missing anymore. he look dead to you guys? -gestures to the audience GET THEM ALL RILED UP-

DAVE: How do we know I'm not some sort of dastardly phantasm?

ERIDAN: -Watches the stars and keeps an eye out for any passing satellites. Incidentally, he thinks about his lusus while the crowd cheers away. Old man would be useful right now... But he would have hated it on Earth. The air tastes foul and Eridan would agree with him. For now, he keeps watch.-

RILEY: guess we'll have to watch you do your thing. that's enough proof for me.

DAVE: I guess it is time to give the people what they were promised. One surprise, to be followed by another.

DAVE: -He presses a button on his helmet and you can hear the air hiss out, before he undoes clasps around the helmet, carefully removing it and placing his shades over his eyes.-

DAVENFORTH: Sup boys and girls

RILEY: you're a real boy?!

DAVENFORTH: A real life honest to goodness boy hot damn who would have thought it - Sets his helmet down.-

DAVENFORTH: Surprise bitch the manager and the client are one and the same  

RILEY: i'm so fucking shocked i think you'll actually have to call up rihanna herself to do this next one with you. the audience may need some time to process that dave skellington isn't an actual robot, too.

DAVENFORTH: Well lets soothe em with a song

DAVENFORTH: Kick it barack

RILEY: -the guitar is staying out- i think i've had enough might get a little drunk i say what's on my mind i might do a little time cuz all of my kindness is taken for weakness

RILEY: now i'm fourfiveseconds from wildin and we got three more days til friday im just tryna make it back home by monday mornin i swear i wish somebody would dare me ooh that's all i want -looks over at dave. SHE IS HAVING A GOOD TIME-

DAVENFORTH: Woke up an optimist DAVENFORTH: Sun was shinin im positive DAVENFORTH: Then I heard you was talkin trash DAVENFORTH: Hold me back im bout to spaz

DAVENFORTH: -He's grinning into the mic-

RILEY: and i know that you're up tonight thinkin how could i be so selfish? but you called bout a thousand times wondering where i've been now i know that you're up tonight thinkin' how could i be so reckless? but i just can't apologize -closes her eyes- i hope you can understand

DAVENFORTH: If i go to jail tonight DAVENFORTH: Promise youll pay my bail DAVENFORTH: See they want to buy my pride DAVENFORTH: But that just aint up for sale

RILEY: -harmonizing time-

RILEY: now i'm fourfiveseconds from wildin' and we got three more days 'til friday i'm just tryna make it back home by monday mornin' i swear i wish somebody would tell me ooh, that's all i want

DAVENFORTH: Well the good news is i dont think we gotta worry about jail time after this

RILEY: nah. they'd have to catch us first. RILEY: but hey. with this new shocking revelation of yours, maybe the audience wants some alone time with you. RILEY: you know. that kind of long distance relationship lovin' after reuniting. RILEY: so i think i'll leave you guys alone for a little.

DEREK: -gdi riley-

RILEY: -WONK-

DAVENFORTH: If thats the case then let me get a little more comfortable -Presses a button on the brooch of his cape and POOF. There he is in a perfectly tailored suit. Crimson, of course.-

DAVENFORTH: Much better

DAVENFORTH: Yall ready to party

JEFF: =He is ready to party! :U =

RILEY: -walks off stage strumming her guitar-

DAVENFORTH: Then lets hit it

DAVENFORTH: American hypocrisy oh let me count the ways DAVENFORTH: They came here seeking freedom and they end up owning slaves justified it using what christianity would say religion dont mean shit theres too much ego in the way DAVENFORTH: Thats why isis is in crisis but in reality this country do the same shit take a life and call it righteous

DAVENFORTH: For real i though this was thou shalt not kill DAVENFORTH: But police still letting off niggas in the ville DAVENFORTH: Claiming that he reached for a gun

DAVENFORTH: They really think we dumb and got a death wish DAVENFORTH: Now somebodys son is laying breathless DAVENFORTH: When i was a little boy my father lived in texas DAVENFORTH: Pulled up in toyota drove that bitch like it was lexus DAVENFORTH: Put my bag in his trunk and headed off for dallas DAVENFORTH: Out there for the summer feeling just like i was alice DAVENFORTH: Lost in the wonder land where niggas still suffering DAVENFORTH: Just like they was back home and thats wrong

DAVENFORTH: I had a convo with the president i paid to go and see him DAVENFORTH: Thinking bout the things i said id say when i would see him DAVENFORTH: Feeling nervous sitting in a room full of white folks DAVENFORTH: Thinking about the black man plight think i might choke nope DAVENFORTH: Raised my hand and asked a man a question DAVENFORTH: Does he see the struggles of his brothers in oppression

DAVENFORTH: Change is slow always has been always will be DAVENFORTH: But fuck that ima bust back till they kill me DAVENFORTH: Change is slow always has been always will be DAVENFORTH: But fuck that ima bust back until they kill me DAVENFORTH: You feel me

DAVENFORTH: Heres a thought for my revolutionary heart DAVENFORTH: Take a deeper look at history its there to pick apart DAVENFORTH: See the people at the top they get to do just what they want DAVENFORTH: Till after while the people at the bottom finally get smart DAVENFORTH: Then they start to holla revolution tired of living here destitution DAVENFORTH: Fuck that looting can you tell me whats the best solution

DAVENFORTH: -Somehow he got a stool, and he's sitting on stage, casually lighting a blunt.-

DEREK: -snickering about it-

RILEY: -rolling her eyes but she's laughing too-

DAVENFORTH: Hands up everybody run DAVENFORTH: Dave outside and he say he got a gun DAVENFORTH: Niggas like man that's what everybody say DAVENFORTH: Go and pop the trunk and everybody dead DAVENFORTH: Everybody scared of the nigga DAVENFORTH: Aware that the nigga is better DAVENFORTH: All my bitches the pick of the litter DAVENFORTH: Never bitter DAVENFORTH: Niggas is faker than anime DAVENFORTH: Me i never hate, get cake like anna mae woah DAVENFORTH: Eat the cake bitch eat the damn cake DAVENFORTH: Fuck good nigga we demand great DAVENFORTH: Order dominos and she take off all her clothes DAVENFORTH: Nigga you know how it goes make the pizza man wait DAVENFORTH: The best kept secret DAVENFORTH: Even hoes try and keep it and i leak the damn tape DAVENFORTH: Rest in peace any nigga want beef DAVENFORTH: Even secret service couldnt keep the man safe

DAVENFORTH: -He's grinning and vibing to the hook, blowing smoke-

DAVENFORTH: This is the part that the thugs skip DAVENFORTH: Young nigga never had love DAVENFORTH: You know foot massage back rub shit DAVENFORTH: Blowing bubbles in the bathtub shit DAVENFORTH: That is until i met you DAVENFORTH: Together we done watch years go by DAVENFORTH: Seen a river of your tears go by DAVENFORTH: Got me thinkin' bout some kids still i DAVENFORTH: Tell them hoes come through DAVENFORTH: Get to know somebody and you really learn a lot about em DAVENFORTH: Won't be long for you, start to doubt em DAVENFORTH: Tell yourself you better off without em

DAVENFORTH: Come and dance

DAVENFORTH: -Now is when he stands-

DAVENFORTH: This ones a little personal

DAVENFORTH: This goes out to everyone that told me i wouldnt be shit

DAVENFORTH: Before the red cups and the backwoods smoke DAVENFORTH: Me and mom in the shack in the woods bro DAVENFORTH: I was sleepin on the floor with the oven door open DAVENFORTH: While i dreamt about the places that i would go DAVENFORTH: We would go door to door to door all day DAVENFORTH: We were begging em to lay up in the foyer DAVENFORTH: I was sittin with the hookers in a motel hallway DAVENFORTH: Waiting on a blind audition like its broadway DAVENFORTH: Now these madams looking like a fleet of foxes DAVENFORTH: Rat pack chief of staff like sinatra DAVENFORTH: Eat drink swank nigga thats the mantra DAVENFORTH: Betta stand when i speak nigga fix your posture DAVENFORTH: Chief dont run baby word to poppa DAVENFORTH: Wanted me to be a lawyer engineer or doctor DAVENFORTH: The new godfather keep your old mobsters DAVENFORTH: Matter fact you can keep your old oscars DAVENFORTH: Its tomorrow never dies now DAVENFORTH: Im on yacht with a prince in dubai now DAVENFORTH: Im with the dalai lamas homies in the sky lounge DAVENFORTH: Cocktails got me loosenin my tie now DAVENFORTH: They say a prophet never honored in his homeland DAVENFORTH: Thats fine id rather have my own land DAVENFORTH: Gotta plan for a hundred roman numerals DAVENFORTH: Long live the chief nigga, welcome to your funeral

DAVENFORTH: Chief dont run shaggy

DAVENFORTH: It's my time, hit the gong out here DAVENFORTH: They gon need to build a bigger wall out here DAVENFORTH: I live a different set of laws out here DAVENFORTH: Know my rights even when im in the wrong out here DAVENFORTH: Look what we did with one song out here DAVENFORTH: Like a locksmith opened every door out here DAVENFORTH: You dealing with a king not a kong out here DAVENFORTH: You a pawn but we can get along out here DAVENFORTH: You in my house actin too free though DAVENFORTH: We know you foul nigga two free throws DAVENFORTH: Chiefy chiefy in a new chief cloak DAVENFORTH: I aint even said a word but my suit bespoke DAVENFORTH: I got a new agenda that i gotta carry through DAVENFORTH: When your fathers enemies are tryna bury you DAVENFORTH: And the royal families are tryna mary you DAVENFORTH: Long live the chief nigga welcome to your funeral

DAVENFORTH: Violent j and shaggy the chief is comin prepare those asses

DEREK: -yaaaaaaaaas-

DAVENFORTH: -Snrks at his own comment-

RILEY: -SO MUCH CLAPPING-

DAVENFORTH: Thanks ladies and gents for takin this oh so well but theres still better yet

DAVENFORTH: You know the goofy guy in the hat well thats my brother and him and the ever dope robyn saint are gonna do some songs for yall dont fret though ill be back

DEREK: -come on babe. he places a hand on her back while they both head out onto the stage again, gesturing with his other hand for davendork to move it.-

DAVENFORTH: -Blows smoke in Derek's face as he passes by-

DEREK: Fuckin rude.

QIRIN: =She's just clapping from backstage! Heck!=

RILEY: -here they go. she waves at the crowd with derek beside her- the sock's off the door so...i figured we would be in the clear. RILEY: anyway. hey again. this goofy guy in the hat? RILEY: i'm kinda in love with him. -makes a THIS LITTLE gesture- kinda. RILEY: i think we need another stage name though. robyn saint and goofy guy in the hat doesn't really flow.

DEREK: -grins at her. YEAH BITCHES ROBYN SAINT IS IN LOVE WITH ME.- DEREK: What about Robyn Saint and the Weird Puppet Guy?

RILEY: -gives him a look.- yeah. for anybody that knows my obscure shit from way in the beginning, this is weird puppet guy. RILEY: i think we have to get past the puppets at this point. no room for felt on this stage.

DEREK: Yeah well see about that.

DEREK: For now lets get this show on the road.

RILEY: -rolls her eyes- i guess we gotta. let's do this.

DEREK: -snickers and bobs his head as the music starts up-

DEREK: You think its over now. You think well go away. But we keep climbing up. You cant keep us down.

RILEY: a temporary no this shit is not for play we're not your typical that ain't what we're here for -walking the stage a little-

DEREK: Its time we light it up. Our matchs to the grade. The tensions driving in. We aint looking down.

RILEY: watch how we take the throne drop like a cannonball we take the lead, no we're never gonna follow -shakes her finger-

DEREK AND RILEY: Don't they know, the speaker is about to explode? Don't they know, this building is about to blow? This building is about to Blow

DEREK: Three years of digging holes. Been burning through our clothes. Yeah we keep on rising high. You can't touch us now. -bouncing around her with a grin-

RILEY: -grins at derek- we give it every night our hearts are dynamite we spit that fire -looks at the audience- so you better listen up

MYPOST DEREK AND RILEY: Don't they know, the speaker is about to explode? Don't they know, this building is about to blow? DEREK AND RILEY: Don't they know, the speaker is about to explode? Don't they know, this building is about to blow? This building is about to Blow

DEREK: Bang bang here we go. Everythings about to blow.

RILEY: our moment's going up blast it up and lift it up sky high sky high here we go 'bout to fly

DEREK AND RILEY: Don't they know, the speaker is about to explode? Don't they know, this building is about to blow? This building is about to Blow

RILEY: uh-oh, running out of breath, but i oh i, i got stamina uh-oh, running now, i close my eyes -closes her eyes- well, oh, i got stamina -opens them- and uh-oh, i see another mountain to climb but i, i got stamina uh-oh, i need another lover, be mine -leans her head against derek's shoulder and turns away from him- cuz i, i got stamina

DAVENFORTH: -That's his family y'all-

RILEY: don't give up, i won't give up don't give up, no no no don't give up, i won't give up don't give up, no no no

DEREK AND RILEY: I'm free to be the greatest, I'm alive I'm free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest The greatest, the greatest alive The greatest, the greatest alive

RILEY: well, uh-oh, running out of breath, but i oh, i, i got stamina uh-oh, running now, i close my eyes but, oh, i got stamina and oh yeah, running through the waves of love but i, i got stamina and oh yeah, i'm running and i've just enough and uh-oh, i got stamina

RILEY: don't give up, i won't give up don't give up, no no no don't give up, i won't give up don't give up, no no no -shakes her finger at the camera-

DEREK AND RILEY: I'm free to be the greatest, I'm alive I'm free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest The greatest, the greatest alive The greatest, the greatest alive DEREK AND RILEY: Oh-oh, I got stamina Oh-oh, I got stamina Oh-oh, I got stamina Oh-oh, I got stamina

DEREK: Hey I am the truth. Hey I am the wisdom of the fallen. I'm the youth. Hey I am the greatest. Hey this is the proof. Hey I work hard pray hard pay dues hey. I transform with pressure Im hands-on with effort. I fell twice before my bounce back was special. Letdowns will get you and the critics will test you. But the strong will survive another scar may bless you.

DEREK AND RILEY: Don't give up (no no), I won't give up (no no) Don't give up, no no no (nah) Don't give up, I won't give up Don't give up, no no no

DEREK AND RILEY: I'm free to be the greatest, I'm alive I'm free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no) The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no)

DEREK AND RILEY: The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no) The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no) The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no) The greatest, the greatest alive (I got stamina) The greatest, the greatest alive (I got stamina) The greatest, the greatest alive (I got stamina)

DAVENFORTH: -Probably swaying with Qirin. Don't mind him he's a little high, to take the edge off.-

RILEY: -grabs his hand and gives him a smooch- he's got some stuff to show off. thanks for having me tonight. dave and dirk if you're listening or watching or whatever wherever you are -- don't give up. i love you. RILEY: -she bows and makes her exit-

DEREK: -watches her go before he turns back to face the audience.- DEREK: Yeah so. Im some nobody who happens to be Robyn Saints man and Dave Skellingtons brother. DEREK: Unless youre a part of some niche fetish communities in which case I am definitely a somebody you know. DEREK: But we can save that discussion for another time. -paces around the stage while he talks- DEREK: Truth is I wanted to put this together cuz I wanted to send out a message to people. One of hope and empowerment through somethin positive. Somethin anybody can do. DEREK: Art. Expression. DEREK: This shit goin on now aint nothin new... Though it has hit a whole new level of whacky thats for damn sure. Long before the alternian empire planted their roots here Ive been dealin with oppression. My brother and me bounced around from foster home to foster home cuz nobody wanted us. DEREK: We had to fight to live. And we made a name for ourselves in our own ways.

DEREK: And then the alternians took my son from me. -pauses his pacing, looking at the audience with furrowed brows- DEREK: I let my anger and my hatred twist me up into somethin awful. I was afraid. I was a coward. It drove me to do shit thats no better than what I went through growin up and it became this vicious cycle. DEREK: I couldve poured all those feelings into something that fucking mattered. I couldve fought back. I couldve protected my remaining son. But I was afraid. I was one man. Because I thought it was over for me... I thought there was nothin left. DEREK: -sighs, pacing again- Point is... DEREK: Yall are livin in a scary word right now. But you gotta fight. You gotta use that fear. DEREK: Youll be makin a better world for yourself. For your family. For billions of folks who deserve a chance to be happy.

DEREK: Dirk. Dave... Russet and Ryan. Im gonna make a better world for you. -STARTS THE MUSIC-

DAVENFORTH: -Damn bro-

RILEY: -she's totally crying backstage-

RILEY: -god damn it derek-

DEREK: This is the beat we dance to. Tribal warfare let the rhythm prepare you. Theres too much fear and we’ve been given a handful. Its time to break out aint no need to be careful. Ground breaker movement maker. Too many sleep walkers we need a wake up. Dont believe what you see cuz what is you see is fake. If triple zs is the steez we gon need a shake up.

DEREK: Even if Im 1 in 100000. Imma stay strong never backing down from. Anything that comes Imma stand my ground son.

I give you my word thats one you can count on.

DEREK: -COME ON EVERYBODY GET HYPE-

DEREK: Weve been at war too long its time to make art. Too much TV my brains scarred. Smokes and mirrors its hard to take part. The rhetorics flat so I must stay sharp. There's too many sheep and not enough brave hearts. If youre ready for roll then lets go.

DEREK: Even if Im 1 in 100000. Imma stay strong never backing down from. Anything that comes Imma stand my ground son. I give you my word thats one you can count on.

DAVENFORTH: FUCK DAVENFORTH: IT DAVENFORTH: UP

DAVENFORTH: -Jamming backstage-

DEREK: So just bounce to this. Go ahead and get down to this. I can go for round for round on this. And Im a man of my word so you can count on it.

RILEY: GO BABY!

DEREK: Alls my life I has to fight. Alls my life I... Hard times like yah. Bad trips like God! Nazareth Im fucked up. Homie you fucked up. But if God got us then we gon be alright.

DEREK: We gon be alright. We gon be alright. We gon be alright. Do you hear me do you feel me? We gon be alright.

DAVENFORTH: -Anyone unfortunate to be backstage with Davenforth is gonna get a double helping of these rhymes.-

DEREK: -definitely singing these hooks I just didnt wanna edit them whoops-

DEREK: When you know, we been hurt, been down before. When our pride was low lookin' at the world like "where do we go?" And we hate Popo wanna kill us dead in the street for sure. I'm at the preacher's door. My knees gettin weak and my gun might blow but we gon be alright.

DEREK: We gon be alright. We gon be alright. We gon be alright. Do you hear me do you feel me? We gon be alright.

DEREK: When you know, we been hurt, been down before. When our pride was low lookin' at the world like "where do we go?" And we hate Popo wanna kill us dead in the street for sure. I'm at the preacher's door. My knees gettin weak and my gun might blow but we gon be alright.

DEREK: I keep my head up high. I cross my heart and hope to die. Lovin me is complicated. Too afraid. A lot of changes. I'm alright and youre a favorite. Dark nights in my prayers.

DEREK: -exhales... HE DID IT-

RILEY: -SO MUCH CLAPPING SHES SO PROUD-

DAVENFORTH: -He's out on stage so fast and jumping on his brother, damn his image-

DAVENFORTH: Thats how you do that shit

QIRIN: ^_^

QIRIN: 👏👏👏👏

DEREK: -laughs, swinging an around around the brother. WHAT A DORK. both of them really.- Fuck yeah.

DAVENFORTH: -Starts talking into the mic DAVENFORTH: Not only is this my brother hes my twin like he told you for so many years all we had was each other thats his back to to back against the fucking world no exaggeration DAVENFORTH: Sometimes though you separate and fuck up and you dont know of the strife that each other has been through DAVENFORTH: While derek was dealing with his pains i was dealing with my own and still continuing to strive and bring entertainment and satire of the fucking bullshittery of a fucking empire but there was still that void DAVENFORTH: Even if you cant fight you can make a difference i promise DAVENFORTH: not everyone can pull a trigger and you shouldnt have to no one should be made to come to that but like derek said DAVENFORTH: Art expression just being is direct and complete defiance to a system and a people and way of life that wants you eradicated DAVENFORTH: Unfortunately the enemy has come in and has given you no other option but to fight DAVENFORTH: They dont think you will thats why everything we know and love has been perveted and destroyed DAVENFORTH: Nows your chance to let them know it wont fly anymore and me and my bro are gonna give you some good music to be real defiant to DAVENFORTH: Dirk dave i know youre out there bein strong and listenin to your old ass uncle ramble but im proud of you kids im glad i got the chance to meet you and watch you grow DAVENFORTH: Russet jinjin and cereza ima see yall soon love you girls youre probably gonna hear about all the stupid shit i did from your moms but know that most of it was for you

DEREK: -yeeeeeees- Lets do this shit man. -claps him on the back and bobs some more as the music gets going.-

DEREK: How long before the hate that we hold Lead us to another Holocaust? Are we so deep in it that we can't end it? Stop hold ever call it off. Its too clear nuclears too near. And the holders of the molotov. Say that Revolutions right here right now And they aint callin off.

DAVENFORTH: Lets fuckin do it

DAVENFORTH: Wake up roll an eighth up DAVENFORTH: Throw a double finger with a fist DAVENFORTH: Here at the abyss DAVENFORTH: I will be your tour guide DAVENFORTH: It is war time check your wrists (Ready kids) DAVENFORTH: Over to your right shine a light DAVENFORTH: Got a bevy ready for the fight DAVENFORTH: I just wanna live i dont wanna ever have to load a clip DAVENFORTH: Only hunt bliss DAVENFORTH: I am still a kid in my heart DAVENFORTH: But these motherfuckers sick DAVENFORTH: They dont give a shit not at all DAVENFORTH: They dont even want to let you take a little piss in a pot DAVENFORTH: Listen along DAVENFORTH: They dont want your love shit is bugged DAVENFORTH: Motherfuckers steady getting rich from the blood DAVENFORTH: Love when you beg DAVENFORTH: Trust i would sooner put a puckered pair of lips to the sun DAVENFORTH: Love will survive DAVENFORTH: Run out under iridescent lights for our lives DAVENFORTH: I will be surprised if we ever got the feeling so alive as tonight DAVENFORTH: Wild for the night DAVENFORTH: Look into my eyes DAVENFORTH: I am standing at your side for the fight DAVENFORTH: Minds over might DAVENFORTH: Swear to God DAVENFORTH: They could barely even see the dog DAVENFORTH: They dont see the size of the fight

DEREK: Wake up. Drink water. Smoke blunt. Clean. Oil my Kalashnikov. Stockpile ten for me and friends in case shit get to poppin off. The evening news givin yous views. Telling you to pick your master for president. Been behind the curtain seen the devil workin. Came back with some evidence. Im here to tell you dont let em tell you whats right wrong. Make love smoke kush try to laugh hard and live long. That's the antidote. You defeat the devil when you hold onto hope. Cuz kinfolk life is beautiful. And we ain't gotta die for them other men. And I refuse to kill another human being. In the name of a government. Cuz I don't study war no more. I dont hate the poor no more. Gettin more aint whats more. Only thing more is the love. So when you see me. Please greet me with a heart full. And a pound and a hug.

DAVENFORTH: -Sings the hook-

DEREK: -DANCIN AROUND-

DEREK: Seen the devil give a sermon in the church. Seen an angel dancing in the club. Tryin to feed a baby so I threw a thousand in the air. And blessed her with a hug. I done been down so many times. Walked on like a dirty rug. And now that I made it can't fake it. Gotta give me what Im truly worthy of.

DAVENFORTH: And I don't how much it really means to be right DAVENFORTH: And what a joy itd be to see some peace in this life DAVENFORTH: And it occurs to me that maybe we aint ever really seen any right DAVENFORTH: Here in the dark DAVENFORTH: Hoping just to see a beam of the light

DEREK: Hear what I say we are the business today. Fuck shit is finished today. Derek and Dave we the new PB and J. We dropped a classic today. We did a tablet of acid today. Lit joints with the matches and ashes away. SKRRRT! We dash away. Donner and Dixon the pistol is wrapped on the way.

DAVENFORTH: -BOUNCING AROUND-

DAVENFORTH: Doctors of death DAVENFORTH: Curing our patients of breath DAVENFORTH: We are the pain you can trust DAVENFORTH: Crooked at work DAVENFORTH: Cookin up curses and slurs DAVENFORTH: Smokin my brain into mush DAVENFORTH: I became famous for flamin you fucks DAVENFORTH: Maimin my way through the brush DAVENFORTH: There is no training or taming of me and my bruh DAVENFORTH: Look like a man but im animal raw

RILEY: -dancin backstage-

DEREK: We are the murderous pair. That went to jail and we murdered the murderers there. Then went to Hell and discovered the devil. Delivered some hurt and despair. Used to have powder to push. Now I smoke pounds of the kush. Holy Im burnin a bush. Now I give a fuck about none of this shit. Jewel runner over and out of this bitch.

QIRIN: =joins riley=

DAVENFORTH: Step into the spotlight

DEREK: WOO!

DAVENFORTH: Copping of uppers and downers get done DAVENFORTH: I'm in a rush to be numb DAVENFORTH: Droppin a thousand ain't much DAVENFORTH: Come from the clouds DAVENFORTH: On a missile to turn this whole town into dust DAVENFORTH: Dont make a sound, baby hush DAVENFORTH: I am the living swipe right on the mic im a slut DAVENFORTH: I dont know how to not spit like a lout DAVENFORTH: Ill spill a pound of my kids on your couch

RILEY: -hip bumps qirin DAMN YOU GOT SOME BONY HIPS AM I RIGHT-

DEREK: Half of a mongrel and mythical team. Villainous treacherous things. Legend says Daveys a spawn out of Hades. The myth is my mamas a murderous queen. Your life can end like in Godfather 1. You get the gun as I christen my son. If I die today and it's Hell I should pay. Tell the Lord Derek said Fuck it was fun.

DAVENFORTH: Every new records my dick in a box DAVENFORTH: We get a doozy the mulas a lock DAVENFORTH: Youre getting used to me doing no wrong DAVENFORTH: I dont play chicken you prick im a fox DAVENFORTH: You wanna kick it ill give you the rocks DAVENFORTH: You kiss the wood chipper blade if you balk DAVENFORTH: Im fuckin magic in fact im a warlock of talk DAVENFORTH: I got a unicorn horn for a

DAVENFORTH: AND THE CROWD GOES

DEREK: Mike Pentangeli wont snitch. Ill rent a room at the Ritz. Ill sip a fifth of the whisk. Ill smoke a dub in the tub. Then I will split both my wrists.

DAVENFORTH: Ill pull a sword on you simps DAVENFORTH: Just with a flick of the wrist DAVENFORTH: Get your neck giving up mist DAVENFORTH: Me and rek skip away whistlin and grin DAVENFORTH: Every days golden when you only win

DEREK: Bullyin bastards and beatin on beats. Sounds like a day at the beach preach. I keep it middle school, step on your feet. Before you can speak,blow to the teeth.

DAVENFORTH: We move among the ones you think are meek DAVENFORTH: You think im lion you right, see my teeth DAVENFORTH: Dont be a bore when im roaring vamoose DAVENFORTH: Huntings no fun when your prey doesnt move DAVENFORTH: Ill put a gun to a bunny like choose DAVENFORTH: Say somethin funny or bunny go boom DAVENFORTH: You got a bevy of shit you could groove DAVENFORTH: Wed like to thank you for choosing our crew

DEREK: And thats from the crew you can trust. Warranty plus for fuckin shit up. We are the no-gooders do-gooders. Known to the dancers and dealers and doers of dust.

DEREK: -throws his hands up. yEEAAAHH.-

DAVENFORTH: -Looks dead in the camera and runs his thumb across his neck-

RILEY: -what she didn't completely understand before, she does now. they have to do this. somebody has to.-