#transienttutor

[gulescamisade]

Betty Crocker Headquarters:  Arrival

JADESPRITE: -She drifts -- or rather nyooms down toward the lakehouse encampment, green glowy gooing her way through one of the walls and looking around for just about anyone that's in sight.-

DIRK: -HE'S HERE. just sitting around the living area with his leg bouncing restlessly. he glances in jadesprite's direction when she oozes in.-

JADESPRITE: dirk!!

JADESPRITE: everyone

JADESPRITE: we need to go

DIRK: -OH GOOD. AN EXCUSE TO STAND UP. he does that.-

DIRK: What's up?

JADESPRITE: somethings happening at the hq

JADESPRITE: terezis there

JADESPRITE: i think this might be our chance

JOHN: -stands up- 👀

ROSE: -She's fiddling with her needles. The creepy ivory quills she got from deep down on LOMAT. She's going to be using them pretty soon, it seems, might as well be ready.-

ROSE: You mean already?

JADESPRITE: -she nods- we should head there now

JADESPRITE: im sure shes going to need our help

JOHN: -isn't terezi supposed to be dead??? but now is no time for questions he has BEEN ready for action.-

JADESPRITE: where is everyone else? we should get everyone

URSAIS: -SHE'S HERE TOO. Bear rumble.- should i rally th' troops? they're on standby.

ROSE: Some injured, but I suppose most of us are... around the area.

ROSE: Do you have a large bell we could ring to summon them? Communicators would probably tip them off.

JOHN: i have an airhorn.

JOHN: :D

DISCIPLE: -her eyes peek from atop a shelf-

JOHN: -he really wants to use the airhorn.-

DIRK: Use the airhorn.

JOHN: yesssssssss.

JOHN: -....-

JOHN: -dramatic pause-

JOHN: -HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK.-

DISCIPLE: -YOWLS!!!-

DIRK: -🙏-

JOEY: 8D

JOEY: should we come up with a battle cry?

MITUNA: WH47 7H3 FUCK

LATULA: -well shit an airhorn wakes her up-

MEULIN: -YOWLS FROM SOMEWHERE-

LATULA: SH1T DUD3.

LIFERA: -FUCKING POWER LEAPS DOWNSTAIRS- W)(AT'S )(APP-ENING??

JOHN: (ehehehehhehhehehe.)

JOHN: put up your dukes! it's time to fight!

LIFERA: GLUB???

PENNY: -GROGGY AS SHIT. Walks in.- ugh????

ULFURA: -She's currently outside, just feeding and petting this GIANT ASS DRAGONFLY. Her precious...-

HEITOR: -probably fiddling with the electricity or something-

URSAIS: -texts her and everyone.-

ULFURA: !!

URSAIS: -i really need to think of a cool name for this little abnd of rebels but for now you're just URSAIS'S CREW.-

ULFURA: -SHE IS OKAY WITH THAT NAME!!!-

ULFURA: -At this message, she runs to the lakehouse door and all but KICKS it open.-

ULFURA: WE'RE GOIN'???

PENNY: -squints at everyone...-

HESONY: =He's just been looming in a corner this entire time but was currently ourside on self-appointed guard duty. Since they arrived, he has been uncharacteristically quiet. Best not draw any unnecessary attention to himself and all that.=

URSAIS: we'rRe goin'. and we'rRe gon bring the pain. t' wherRe the fightin is thickest. -glances at dirk.-

ERIDAN: -was watching Sunny this whole time from his brooding place in the ice cream truck. Yeah he knows that color and name bruh. He knows it.-

MICEXA: -She's already paying attention to all this... and heading out to tell Sunny what's up. ANOTHER FACE ERIDAN CAN RECOGNIZE, INCIDENTALLY.-

MICEXA: Hey.

ULFURA: YEAAAHHH!!! LET'S DO IT!!! -jumps and PUNCHES THE AIR.-

ULFURA: SHE'S ALL READY TO GO!!!

ERIDAN: -He's reading all about it on the Alternia newsfeeds, don't worry.-

ERIDAN: -taking this time to change back into his combat gear. Good thing he's outside.-

HESONY: Hey. =he replies, his expression softening a fraction.= Are we moving again?

MICEXA: Yeah.

MICEXA: To the HQ.

JOHN: are we gonna go grab jake? my dad? -IF THEY WERE BRIEFED ON A PLAN...john might've just forgotten it.-

HESONY: =stares like she just grew an extra head= What.

JOHN: -forgive him-

JADESPRITE: it seems like terezi is going to try to get them out

JADESPRITE: but of course if they need help we will help them

JADESPRITE: right?

ROSE: Death really doesn't take the way it used to, does it?

JADESPRITE: no, it doesnt

JADESPRITE: theres definitely something different about her, though

JOHN: lucky for us! -laughs nervously-

JADESPRITE: ... -glances around like maybe she shouldn't have said that-

JADESPRITE: either way, we need to get moving

JADESPRITE: -floats toward the wall-

DIRK: -just grunts about that and tries to raise his voice over everyone's excitement- Ok, I need some of you to stay here and watch the injured. The rest of you follow Jadesprite.

DIRK: ... Like, through the door.

MICEXA: Yeah.

MICEXA: ... This is it.

REDGLARE: -STARTING TO STAND TO LEAVE ANYWAYS-

JOHN: -just starts shuffling towards the door even though he's a doctor....-

JADESPRITE: -schlorps through the wall on that note!-

PENNY: .... so whos stayin?

JOHN: -NOTHING TO SEE HERE.-

DIRK: -points at rose's white board of THE INJURED.- If you're on this list, you're not going.

DIRK: That means you, Redglare.

HESONY: =he laughs, shaking his head= We're going towards the people who want to kill us...

HESONY: =he patted her shoulder and squeezed it.= Okay. We don't stop.

REDGLARE: -STOPS AND STARES DAGGERS AT THE WHITEBOARD-

ROSE: -...one dagger-

MICEXA: -she reaches up to cover his hand with hers, her grip a little tighter.-

MICEXA: You don't leave my side.

REDGLARE: >;|

DAELOS: -Also not too happy about this arrangement because he's on that list.-

REDGLARE: -SITS LOUDLY-

PENNY: what about Riley?? shes sure as fuck not going.

DIRK: Of course she's not.

DIRK: -LOOKS AROUND SUSPICIOUSLY... is she trying to sneak away...-

HESONY: Wouldn't dream of it.

PENNY: -SHE BETTER NOT BE-

DEREK: -walks in- Dont worry I locked her in the bathroom.

HESONY: =also dropping eaves on the people behind them=

PENNY: ... -sNORTS-

PENNY: good deal.

ROXANNE: Good call. -At Derek, yes shes totally been here.-

PENNY: I uh.

PENNY: (God damn it.)

PENNY: I can stay and watch her.

PENNY: and the rest of you folks. nobody get any crazy ideas.

JOHN: -where's kankri? john wants to make sure he stays behind with his tiny knife and otherwise complete lack of being able to defend himself, but also one more hug would't be bad...-

PENNY: -LOOKS ESPECIALLY AT REDGLARE-

KANKRI: -Hes certainly staying behind to take care of people, he knows he and his little knife would be useless on this type of mission.-

MICEXA: .... -sighs a tightly held breath before glancing at the dragonfly.- \|/e should start boarding up.

REDGLARE: 3xcus3 m3?

REDGLARE: Who 1s th1s wom4n. D1d w3 just... coll3ct h3r.

REDGLARE: -GLARES AT PENNY WOW-

JOHN: -SQUEEZES HIM FOR STRENGTH.-

PENNY: ;)

PENNY: from the dump specifically.

KANKRI: -John so help him dont you be reckless.-

PENNY: hi. Im your new nanny.

JOHN: -He's going to be as nonreckless as you can be while you smash people with a hammer and use magic wind powers.-

KANKRI: -J o hn.-

HESONY: =he nodded giving her shoulder one more squeeze. No more promises of living through this. That only ever brought back luck.=

REDGLARE: >;I

URSAIS: -MOUNTS THIS DRAGON FLY like it's no big deal.-

MICEXA: -Well, she's going to do her best to make sure it's true, even if unspoken. She heads for the dragonfly.-

MINDFANG: -Also she is ready to brawl, she even did some maintenance on her arm even without your help Hesony. Now it probably wont fall off while she fights.-

ULFURA: ALRIGHT COME ON GET YOUR FANNIES ON BOARD!!! -gestures aggressively at the many rows of carrying seats on this dragonfly's butt.-

RUFIOH: -Waiting outside for people to gather... he's anxious as he shuffles his wings but. Didn't come here to sit on his ass. As much as he would like to. Shit's scary...-

ROXANNE: -Climbing on board with no time to waste, shes got important people to save.-

HESONY: =yeah, but i bet that piston still sticks, Wolfchow=

JOHN: -While he's huging people, Dirk and Rose also get a squeeze b4 they board. Wait? Is that Rufioh? Also hugged? Meulin? Hugged.- be safe you guys!!!  

LATULA: -HUP. She's climbing on-- she got used to the dragonfly a while ago, slinging out her rifle as she takes a seat.-

LATULA: 41ght!!!!

JOHN: -he's very liberal with these warm hugs.-

MEULIN: -HEY SHE IS HERE, peering out from around the lakehouse.- AH--

MEULIN: EVERYONE'S GOING?

MEULIN: -snugs JOHN!!-

MICEXA: -climbs RIGHT ON BOARD. It's possible she's ridden something similar before at some point as well... but either way, she's not hesitating to get a move on.-

URSAIS: -sitted near the front.-

JOHN: -after he's done spreading his love around, he hover into one of the farthest seats cuz tha back of the rollercoaster is always the most fun.-(

LIFERA: -She runs out and climbs on board, too, also toward the back. She figures they're going to need people watching the butt.-

JOHN: B)

HESONY: =clambers on=

SOLLUX: -And he, meanwhile, finally drags himself out of the lakehouse. His appearances have been infrequent, but he's here now, quiet as he navigates awkwardly toward the dragonfly and then floats himself into a seat.-

SOLLUX: -MAY HAVE SAT ON SOMEONE??? We just don't know.-

URSAIS: o//o -SUDDENLY HAS SOLLUX IN HER LAP. jk. or not???-

SOLLUX: -hello-

SOLLUX: -is this what seats are supposed to feel like???????-

URSAIS: -....clears her throat. casually picks him up and places him into the seat next to her instead.-

SOLLUX: .... 0h.

URSAIS: safety first 'n all.

SOLLUX: ...

ROSE + DISCIPLE ALSO: -OH IF EVERYONES CLIMBING ON THEN THEY ALL GET ON THERE-

SOLLUX: -slowly rests face in hands.-

SOLLUX: -there's no other choice. he's going to have to die today.-

DIRK: -you son of a fuck-

HESONY: =pondering how this crew has survived for so long=

SOLLUX: -LOOK BITCH-

DIRK: -no fuck you-

DIRK: -ANYWAY HES ALSO HERE. AND THE REST OF THE ONES OF MINE GOING.-

JOHN: -WAVES AT THE REST OF THE GROUP!!!-

JOHN: -the ones staying behind, i mean.-

[[ WHAT AN EXPEDIENT PROCESS. Once everyone going is on, Ulfura eyeballs the whole troupe. ]]

KARKAT: =is here=

ERIDAN: -Hi everyone. This fish is here. Most people probably don't know who he is??? He's just a guy sitting here with a big gun in his lap, half his face wrapped up in scarf.-

ERIDAN: - >> -

KARKAT: =SOME DOUCHE=

ERIDAN: -Yeah, true.-

ULFURA: -climbs the dragonfly and gets on the upper part of its back, grabbing reins and settling in up there.-

ULFURA: WE READY??? GIMME THE WORD!!!

ROSE: As ready as I can possibly find myself, yes.

JOHN: heck yes!!!

JOHN: let's try our best everyone. -anime voice on purpose-

JOHN: -the only way to respond to this horrifying situation is to be INCESSANTLY CHEERFUL.-

SOLLUX: (i swear t0 g0d egbert.)

JOHN: (ehehehhe. get fucked.)

RUFIOH: }:o

RUFIOH: -gonna be flying with the gang off to the side... Gives the dragonfly a pat though. Wishing it the best of luck and a safe flight.-

URSAIS: go ahea' and kick off, pupper.

URSAIS: we got a lot a shit to do an little time t' do it in.

ARANEA: -does rufioh mind if she joins him? her wings are getting strength back but she figures she needs them for the battle... so she's giving them a stretch!-

[[ The dragonfly flickers its wings in buggy acknowledgement. It feels so FRESH and reassured now. ]]

RUFIOH: -He does not mind at all. Side eyes Aranea.-

DAELOS: -stares through the window in the rain at her. he wants to slay their enemies alongside her again. :(-

ARANEA: -reaches dramatically for daelos with her heart...-

ULFURA: YEAH!!!

ULFURA: LET'S DO THIS!!! COME ON FLAP FLAPS!!! -tugs the reins gently and nudges the dragonfly with her communing powers-

ARANEA: ::::) -at rufioh-

DAELOS: -just be as ruthless as possible for him-

ARANEA: -SHE WILL-

ULFURA: HOLD ONTO YOUR BUTTS!!!

[[ The dragonfly suddenly lurches, kicking off from the ground, and its wings start flapping wildly to take them up into the sky. Takeoff and landing is the hardest part. ]]

RUFIOH: -pchooooooooooo time to fly!-

URSAIS: -This part always makes her a little queasy. She doesn't like being off the ground. ʕ��￫ᴥ￩灬ʔ-

ERIDAN: -scrunches up his face at the wind buffeting his hair. He thinks he smells rain on the horizon...-

JOHN: -basically uneffected-

[[ They rise into the sky quickly, if not weaving side to side a few times between the wind and the dragonfly adjusting to its new weight. It soars above the treetops, higher into chillier air. The pressure and wind aren't super comfortable, but Ulfura keeps it from going too high. They're on the way, headed straight for Golden Valley. ]]

ROSE: -Twirling those needles in her hands, thinking. Working off nerves. This... really is happening. The flying doesn't bother her-- it's everything else. It's the fact that she can't even fathom seeing something useful with her powers, or the fact that she can hardly conjure a spark. She just focuses on breathing. Deep breaths. Think. Don't get impaled by a fork.-

ROXANNE: -Is probably sitting next to Rose, because its unlikely she would let anyone else take the seat next to her daughter right now.-

ROXANNE: -And she also glances at her with a touch of concern, but unfortunately most of her expression is just determined sternness for what is to come.-

JOHN: -YELLING to be heard above the wing flaps and buffeting air.- SO! I DON'T THINK. I KNOW THE NAMES OF LIKE ...75 PERCENT OF YOU. YOU WANNA LIKE...TELL ME THEM? -he has his own ways of working out his nervousness.-

HEITOR: NO

JOHN: WELL I MEAN. OKAY. THAT'S VALID. IF YOU WANNA BE A DICK ABOUT IT. ANYBODY ELSE?

ERIDAN: -No. Giving John the cold shoulder. Don't look at him, motherfucker...-

JOHN: -He has his eyeballs on you Eridan. All over you.-

MICEXA: ... -does she even want to yell above this wind...-

HESONY: .... =well he sure isn't going to be an ass! He glanced up to see a flying human. Okay. He will accept this.= ....Hesony. =He says, in his regular voice.=

MICEXA: -side eyes Sunny like pls-

JOHN: -HE IS FLYING WITH EVERYONE ELSE CURRENTLY. ON THE BIG BUG.- HEY...SUNNY? SUNNY? OKAY. NICE TO MEET YOU! I AM JOHN.

HESONY: =EXCUSE only FRIENDS call him that. Whatever=

HESONY: Greetings, John.

MICEXA: -gosh.... she loves this grumpy doofus-

MICEXA: MICEXA NESHEN. PURSUANT SEAKRAIT.

JOHN: COOL. EXCELLENT. THANKS FOR HELPING. -

MINDFANG: -John do not thank them for anything.-

MICEXA: -just sort of softly grunts at that.-

JOHN: - He doesn't know these are the peeps that fucked up his friends otherwise he might be less friendly. -

HESONY: =Anything for Terezi's friends, no matter how ungrateful they are.=

HESONY: No problem. =he says instead=

ERIDAN: -gazing at these legislacerators. Saying nothing. Sipping tea with just the look in his eyes.-

[[ Below them, they'll being to see signs of smoke and fire, and the vague sounds of explosions and weaponry through the buffetting wind. In patches where they can see, it looks like there are scattered Alternian troops fighting little scads of rebels. The further they go, the more fire there is. Looks like quite a few things blew up down there. ]]

MICEXA: -why's this bitch got an in flight beverage...-

LATULA: -SHARP INTAKE-

LATULA: sh1t dud3 th4t lookz pr3tty n4sty.

URSAIS: - EL SQUINTO-

LATULA: no off3ns3 but 4r3 your p33poz gonn4 b3 4bl3 to hold out?

JOHN: - promptly shuts up at this point. he's totally stoked and not sick/scared-

[[ The dragonfly sways here and there to try to avoid the plumes of smoke. It's likely Ulfura is guiding it around them; bugs tend to react badly to signs of fire. ]]

URSAIS: - bracing herself- worRy bout yerRselves.. we'rRe used t' this. shit.

URSAIS: an' stay brRave.

SOLLUX: -he doesn't seem to react much there next to Ursais... just tilted his face out toward the outside of the seat, almost like he would be looking down at the ground if he could see.-

[[ They fly over lakes and green landscape -- it would be beautiful in just about any other circumstance, but today, the serenity of the landscape only seems to be feel cold and empty for the reality of what's happening below. ]]

JOHN: -equips Zillyhoo. It makes him feel better, even if it does put chanting voices in the back of his head.-

JOHN: -zi-hi-hi-hilly hoo~-

URSAIS: -ʕง•ᴥ•ʔง-

HESONY: =Same, Sparky Jr. Cept he has eyes. You dont. Neener neener neener.=

SOLLUX: -LET HIM BROOD IN PEACE, TEREZI'S OLD FRIEND GUY. JEEZ.-

ARADIA: -by sollux cuz you don't get to brood alone-

DIRK: -ha, that gives him an opportunity to brood alone too. YOU CAN'T STOP HIM HE'S IN CHARGE.-

SOLLUX: -oh so now YOU'RE in ursais' lap???-

SOLLUX: -CUT IT OUT GOD-

DIRK: -he might as well straight up be doin the thinker pose he's so contemplative right now-

ARADIA: -where am I...I am everywhere...-

SOLLUX: -just hoping she's flying alongside him tbh-

SOLLUX: -just out there smiling and being a creep-

[[ As they fly along, they'll finally start to see it breaching the line of the trees. The headquarters turned into something almost fortresslike, and empty expanse instead of trees -- water surrounds the building on all sides, centering it in a huge lake. Sticking out of the water nearby is a giant silhouette-style statue, but instead of the businessman it used to be, it's in the shape of )(er Imperious Condescension. ]]

[[ The building has been rebranded, of course. Instead of the original spoon, there's a bright red trident. ]]

ROSE: -eyes that silouette. plz...-

JOHN: :/

DIRK: -squints at all this. that's where they're being held... they're so close he thinks his heart is about to jump right out of his chest. he's never not anxious, of course, but the possibility of him or anyone dying here has never felt more real.-

QIRIN: How charming. ^_^

DAVENFORTH: Qirin please

QIRIN: =SHE'S KIDDING=

ARADIA: 😊

JOHN: okay if we win or finish early can we all mutually agree that needs to be heavily vandalized or blown the fuck up.

LIFERA: -just staring at this statue. It's ridiculous, but also... it's so huge. It looks like the way the Condesce feels -- larger than life, the figure that's loomed over her since she hatched. And now...-

DAVENFORTH: -Puts a hand on Lifera's thigh-

LIFERA: -She sort of jumps -- but only just barely, and looks over at Davenforth. She doesn't smile this time, but she acknowledges him.-

ERIDAN: -He more or less feels the same as Lifera about seeing these real actual headquarters. But with knowing NO ONE, he refuses to voice it. He fixes his eyes on the building, determined. Hopeless.-

QIRIN: =You stop that=

DAVENFORTH: -Squeezes gently. It's all cake baybe, we got this.-

QIRIN: =Get your pessimism out of the optimist club=

MICEXA: -yeah they're probs gonna die-

QIRIN: =what the fuck did i just say?=

ROXANNE: -Why do all you new people always assume we're going to die.-

MICEXA: -LOOK MAN-

HESONY: =because it HAPPENS that's why=

ROXANNE: -Nuh uh. No one is dying this time either, nope.-

HESONY: =thats what he said last time then terezi bit it=

[[ From closer they can also begin to see ships on the lake -- most of which appear to be Alternian in nature, but also some that aren't. There's a lot of pirate-style fighting going on down there. Boy howdy. ]]

MINDFANG: -Nice.-

JOHN: -HE JUST WANTS TO GET OFF THIS DRAGON FLY AND START FIGHTING. It's like ripping off a band aid.-

JOHN: -Hhhhhh-

QIRIN: =Patience, my padawan=

ULFURA: I'M BRINGIN' US IN CAP!!!

ULFURA: -she's starting to weave this dragonfly even more now, to avoid any lines of fire they may ultimately end up in. They're beginning to do a slow circle around the headquarters building.-

URSAIS: ya did grReat now, pupperR.

ULFURA: -SHIMMERS... but quietly.OF COURSE SHE DID GREAT.-

[[ The dragonfly SWOOPS, knocking at the mainsail of one of the Alternian ships on its way around with some of its legs. It rattles everybody a little. ]]

DIRK: -(mccree voice) whoa there- =swears under his breath=

[[ The dragonfly finally swoops down to the platform entrance of the building -- it's almost a tight fit for such a big fucking bug with wide wings, but it manages. ]]  

[[ It lands with an even bigger rattle. ]]

[[http://stmedia.startribune.com/images/10011821%201gmills100114.JPG]]

[transient-tutor]

-- tenaciousGodliness [TG] began pestering transientTutor [TT] --

TG: Yo derek i got some news i need you to keep under wraps but i figured id at least tell you so youd stop stressing about at least one thing in your stressful fucking life plus i need you to send my sylladex to skaia just trust me on this alright im talking the unbreakable bonded trust that only fucked up twins can have the shit only seen in movies motherfucking stand by me levels of trust and support

TG: Anyway

TG: I lived bitch

TT: Alright first off... 

TT: What the fuck? 

TT: Fuck you. 

TT: Youre an asshole. 

TT: You know the drill. Whatever. Etc etc. 

TT: I cant even actually be surprised.

TG: At this point you shouldnt be lets be honest

TG: Me and lif are headed to skaia 

TG: I get the feelin you aint comin 

TG: But as it stands i need my shit 

TG: I know its all cryptic bullshit but im for real when i say its imperative that you tell no one 

TG: Honestly theres consequences that are beyond comprehension if you do 

TG: Dramatic i know i should be all about this shit right now

TT: Par for the fucking course. 

TT: Im used to keepin secrets its fine. Ill hook you up. 

TT: Youre still an asshole. 

TT: Aint even here to see all your nieces bein born. Fuck.

TG: Ryan is cute 

TG: I like her 

TG: She likes yall too 

TG: Missin my own baby 

TG: Heard shes been givin yall trouble

TT: The fuck?

TT: ... Yeah Jinjins restless. A whole bundle of energy. 

TT: Nothin I cant handle.

TG: Thats my girl

TG: Well 

TG: One of them

TT: Well your girls are waiting for you. 

 TT: So me sending your shit better mean youre workin towards seeing them soon.

TG: No derek im plannin on not seein them for two decades

TG: Of course im workin my way back

TT: Hey man. Gotta be sure. 

TT: And just sayin it better be sooner than later. 

TT: I wouldnt be a good brother if I didnt lecture your ass a little.

TG: Yeah yeah yeah

TG: Still

TG: Look at me

TG: Im the big brother now 

TG: You had your time now its mine

TT: No. I refuse to accept this.

TG: Too bad too late 

TG: Sit down 

TG: Be humble

TT: Fuck you. 

TT: But I mean.

TT: I wouldnt mind tagging out for a while. 

TT: You gotta learn to be responsible sometime right?

TG: Yeah youre right 

TG: Good thing time is what we got a lot of

TG: Mostly me but still

TT: What the hell does that mean?

TG: Cryptic metaphor

TT: Of fucking course.

TG: Its not like i made a fuck all simultaneously obvious and yet obscure joke that one could decipher if you used even an iota of that beautiful brain mass you got up there 

TG: Think about how people have been comin back and how theyve been different after comin back 

TG: Congratulations youre the smartest boy on the block and i value you

TT: I get that much jackass. 

TT: That doesnt mean I understand all the ways this magic bullshit manifests itself. 

TT: Or all the ways its relevant. 

TT: Guess Daves got time powers now. 

TT: Guess hes just gonna reference it for no good reason. 

TT: Guess I should just accept it cuz what else am I expectin from this dude?

TG: :thumbsup:

TG: See look you got it

TG: You should know to expect the unexpected by this point

TT: Dont make it any less obnoxious.

TG: Stop bein such an old man about it

TT: No.

TG: Thought youd be happier to hear im alive

TT: 

TT: Fuck man of course Im happy.

TG: There it is 

TG: Love you too man

TT: Youre still an asshole though. 

TT: I know Im not supposed to do the big bro thing now. 

TT: But keep safe wherever youre at. 

TT: And I swear to god you better come back soon.

TG: You shittin me right now dude

TT: You cant stop me.

TG: Just wait until i see your ugly mug again

TT: Yeah well see what happens. 

TT: 

 TT: I gotta go. 

TT: Ill get your shit delivered to you asap. 

TT: I uh 

TT: Yeah. 

TT: Later Dave. 

 -- transientTutor [TT] ceased pestering tenaciousGodliness [TG] --

[primadonnatartuffe]

DEREK: -IT'S CRIMBUS. CRIMBUS EVE. they're still getting settled back into their house on skaia, so there's unpacked boxes everywhere... and knowing the strider fam, they will likely stay like that for a good long while.- 

DEREK: -but the important thing is that they have the CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS set up. he's jamming to some mariah while tossing some presents under the tree last second. PERFECTO.- 

DEREK: -dirk and dave are supposed to stop by for tonight, but they've got their own plans otherwise. it's just a little immediate family thing. should be nice and laid back. OR NOT. who knows. but he's pumped.- 

RYAN: -she's in the kitchen, standing in front of the open fridge eyeballing the egg nog inside.-

RILEY: -unpacking--who even does that? it was no surprise derek put the Christmas decorations up first, because that's just what kind of a guy he is. the place still doesn't feel like their own yet, but she imagines with time it will. she also puts some last minute stuff under the tree as she enters the room- damn...killer acoustics with this place being nearly empty. it's like she's alive and actually here. 

DAVE: -he takes it upon himself to walk in with presents under his arm. no knocking or anything. he too puts his by the tree and goes straight for the kitchen. and there's Ryan- you feeling overheated

DEREK: Psh I wish she was. 

RYAN: -looks at dave- i mean yeah... thats what happens when you move from winter horrorland to a place with a normal temperature for this time of year.

DIRK: -HE'S HERE BEHIND DAVE and does the same as the rest of them, except he's dumping a disproportional amount of gifts under the tree. turns to thumbs up at his parents.-

RILEY: hey, baby. -waves at the oldest boy- jeez you sure you didn't want to use a forklift for all those? 

DAVE: if you ever stepped foot into houston youd just immediately disappear

RYAN: rip me... -closes the fridge and just punches dave lightly in the gut because she can.- 

DIRK: I could use the exercise. -now he's going in for a hug. C'MERE MOTHER.- 

DEREK: Nah... You look just fine. -observes, because they have the same body type whoops.-

DAVE: what happened to the conksuck spirit ryan 

RILEY: -hugs dirk tightly- that don't mean shit coming from you since you're built literally exactly the same. but in my professional opinion, dirk, you look great.

RYAN: i thought you were supposed to fight on decemberween??? 

DEREK: -SHRUG EMOJI- 

DIRK: I'm going to pretend that I'm agreeing with you. So thank you. -squeezes her and then moves on to derek. but instead of hugging it's an elaborate handshake.-

DAVE: thats another holiday in december 

DAVE: that you missed 

DAVE: too slow 

RILEY: -watches this performance worthy handshake- amazing. gets me every time.

RYAN: more like i gotta MAKE UP for my belated decemberween gifts!!! -punches dave more- 

DEREK: -this goes on for two solid minutes. it's outrageous.- 

DIRK: -FINISHES THE SHAKE WITH JAZZ HANDS.- So, how's moving in going? 

DIRK: I see you've already unpacked the essentials.

DAVE: -messes up her hair- uh oh uh oh 

RILEY: the decorations are the essentials in this house. not like. i don't know. beds. or soap.

RYAN: -tommy wiseau voice- dont touch me motherfucker... 

DIRK: Yeah, obviously. 

DEREK: This kid gets it.

DAVE: i cant stop uh oh uh oh -pushes her hair in her face- 

RILEY: i'll take dirk's place, then. and dirk can stay here and enjoy the decorations.

DIRK: ... No, that's okay. I like my giant house. 

RYAN: ppbbtbtbtbtbtbtbtt. RYAN: MOMMM. DAAAAD. DAVES BEING A LIL BITCH.

RILEY: meaning the decorations are not the essentials. bingo bango-- -hears Ryan yelling and snorts- THEN BE A BIGGER BITCH.

RYAN: -looks at dave- oh shit. 

RYAN: its going down. -steals his shades and puts them on, then shoves him and flees to the living room-

DAVE: -flashsteps to the living room- 

RILEY: there we go. beautifully executed.

RYAN: -THROWS SELF ON THE COUCH- stay back. 

DIRK: -flashsteps behind dave and gets his arms up under his to lock him into place.- Goodnight bitch.

DAVE: good fucking morning bitch -struggles- 

RILEY: it really feels like christmas now.

DEREK: -snickers and goes to lounge in an arm chair. the Dad Arm chair.- 

DIRK: Power struggle. Power struggle. 

RYAN: destroy him!!!!!!!!!

RILEY: i got front row seats to what you two would have been like as teenagers. -she sits crosslegged on the couch, entertained- 

DAVE: happy to be the underdog ryan thanks 

DAVE: -he's still trying to get out of this. his brother was always THAT MUCH stronger than him. close but so far-

RYAN: -wiggles to drape partially in riley's lap- 

DIRK: To be honest we ain't never gonna grow up. -releases dave because this is just SAD-

RILEY -gently pets Ryan's hair- 

DAVE: i dont know what youre talkin about 

DAVE: im the sole mature member of this family

DIRK: You're just sayin' that cuz you ain't as fun as the rest of us. -ruffles his hair. incredibly mature. and then he takes a seat next to the tree.- 

DIRK: Are we doing the gift thing?

RILEY: well fuck yeah we're doing the gift thing. -still petting ryan's head- 

RILEY: you wanna be santa? 

DAVE: -also plops down on the floor-

DIRK: I always wanna be Santa. 

RYAN: pick one for meeeee. im the youngest so i get all the prezzies first. -grabby hands from where she's lying.- 

DIRK: Alright, fine. -HANDS HER A GIFT. who knows who it's from.-

RYAN: -TAKES IT and starts to open.-

RILEY: -it's from riley. it's a box that holds two VIP backstage passes to sia. nobody knows if they are really keeping sia alive this long or if she's just a convincing hologram. who knows at this point?-

RYAN: (scream emoji)

RYAN: holy shit!!! THANK YOU MOMMY. -squeezes her- 

DIRK: -peeps...- I hope you're taking me. 

RYAN: yeah you wish.

RILEY: -hugs her tightly- now you can go somewhere and i'll kind of know where you are. ;) 

RILEY: i was thinking maybe you could take jack along.

RYAN: -quiets for a second but she smiles- yeah totally. 

RYAN: im definitely gonna make him go anyway.

RILEY: that's my girl.

DIRK: -hands riley a gift now- This is from me.

RILEY: yeah? -she smiles because she can't help it and takes the gift, carefully unwrapping it-

DIRK: -it's a soft fuzzy robe that says ONE BAD MOTHER on the back in glittery letters. there are matching slippers too. one says mo and the other says fo.-

RILEY: -she squeals upon opening it and feeling how soft it is- oh my god, i love it! -she's already putting it on- this is fucking great.

RYAN: -pets her arm- soft. 

DIRK: -smiles- Glad you like. 

DIRK: Looks good on you. -picks up the next gift... FOR DEREK? might as well cover all the bases while they're here. he passes that one along.- 

DEREK: -snatches it up- Lets see what we got here...

RILEY: isn't it? -she's still grinning- 

DAVE: -this one's from dave. when he opens it, it's going to be a beautiful katana. this is top tier, best of the best. but the fact that dave's 100% ok with giving his dad a katana at this point... that probably says more than any card can-

DEREK: ... -dammit dave, we all came here to have a good time. he can't help smiling a little bit...- Damn. This is some good shit. 

DEREK: Puttin it right over the mantle. 

 DEREK: Too pretty to use. -plus he's like TOTALLY ancient now so...-

DAVE: i know i made sure it was good shit 

DAVE: top shelf encased museum envied shit

[taskforcetumut]

ATRIUM SECURITY RECORDING 0430

UNCLE BRO: -HERE HE IS, coming to get a sports drink after some physical therapy and a LIGHT workout. At this point he really just has the cane for aesthetic. After retrieving his drink he plops down at a table, sipping it while being a little winded.- BRO: -IS HE STILL HERE? regardless, derek is also here now, slinking into the cafeteria for a meal probably barely passable as food.- UNCLE BRO: -Casually eating some curry now- Sup RILEY: -what a coincidence, here comes she. except she goes straight to staring at the food. And giving it a dirty look- BRO: -sweats about riley. shes so small... and so angry... but he's preoccupying himself by eyeballing the brother- Are you out for good now? MOM: -Well everyones gotta' eat. However, When Roxanne enters the cafeteria and sees the company its already holding she kinda regrets not coming in an hour before...-

MOM: -Its too late to turn around now without making it obviously weird. So shes going to quietly walk herself over to the food options, keeping her distance from Riley.- RILEY: -WHY. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. why does food make her want to puke? Ok, she knows why, but why is Roxanne here? this sucks. she's trying to make something here sound appetizing in her head but failing at it- UNCLE BRO: Yep -He's looking around. Oh this should be good- BRO: -NO?? NO IT SHOULDNT. now he's glancing over at them nervously- ...

BRO: Yeah cool. MOM: -You should try eating soup if your stomach feels janked up Riley. Shes grabbing some and potato salad.-

MOM: -And Roxanne does side eye Riley once before turning and starting to look around for a table. She would like to give a greeting to Davenforth of course but Derek is right there...- UNCLE BRO: Kept ya waitin huh BRO: Shut up Keifer. -slides into a seat next to him. just gonna. try to ignore all that business over there.- RILEY: -it's all a little too much, trying so hard to like this food and trying not to feel even more guilty that she doesn't really want to be speaking out loud, but she makes a conscious choice to do so anyway.- i fucking give up. i give up. BRO: -baby do n t- ROXANNE: -Owl turns her head at Riley's voice- ........ UNCLE BRO: Its lettuce BRO: Im gonna slap the shit out of you. -DONT MEME AT A TIME LIKE THIS- UNCLE BRO: Yo riri try the egg drop soup its bomb

RILEY: no. it looks like shit. it smells like shit. i don't need this.

ROXANNE: (Then don't eat it.)

ROXANNE: -Pretty simple, you dont need to insult the chef Riley.-

UNCLE BRO: ....-It finally goddamn clicks and he turns to Derek-

UNCLE BRO: Is she

UNCLE BRO: Yaknow

BRO: -el squinto- Is she what? -YIKES-

UNCLE BRO: Yaknow bakin buns and shit

BRO: ... 

BRO: ... 

BRO: ... -KILL BILL SIRENS AS IT ALL SUDDENLY MAKES SENSE-

MOM: -She finally picked a table by herself one over from Davenforth and Derek, and right as she sat down she MAY have over heard that question.- 

MOM: -Her internal reaction is very much the same as Dereks.-

UNCLE BRO: -He facepalms- God fucking dammit

RILEY: -spins around after realizing that they've caught on and crosses her arms, disguising the panic in being defensive as hell- who the-- why would you even ask something like that? i'm standing right here. i can HEAR you. fucking dick move, dave.

MOM: -She quite suddenly also does not feel like eating.-

UNCLE BRO: Dick move dave thats me just here to pass out the latest in dickish maneuvers

BRO: Jesus. Christ. 

BRO: For fuckin real Dave. -but also looks at riley sweatily-

RILEY: -pointedly not looking at Derek because she cannot- yeah, calm down. -uh oh, she's losing it-

DAD: -There sure sounds like a lot of cussing out here. Cue the strong fatherly disapproval as James walk in pushing a cartful of fresh baked goodies to put up in the cafeteria.- ?

DAD: GOOD AFTERNOON EVERYONE.

RILEY: -and James is here too). Oh god. She covers her face- unfuckingbelievable!

MOM: -James please come sit next to her she is kinda trying to keep it cool and struggling.-

MOM: -At least drive your cart by her.-

DAD: -You sound astonishingly distressed, Riley. James is now on high alert, quickly glancing between everyone before resting eyes on Riley.- IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT.

UNCLE BRO: Wanna take a seat riri

RILEY: you gonna make more jabs at me to tickle yourself or what?

DAD: -Riley, please. Shoots a concerned glance to Roxanne, wondering what could possibly be so upsetting right now.-

BRO: -hhhh. he gets out of his seat to go over to riley, reaching out to touch her arm... a little cautiously, to be honest.- Listen we dont gotta stick around here. 

BRO: We could... Go elsewhere. 

BRO: ... Maybe talk...

DAD: -watching this with his eyes. Derek you also look distressed. What the hullabaloo is going on??-

BRO: -HE'S REAL DISTRESSED JAMES BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW-

DAD: -Well James won't object. He has pies, cake, and donuts to unload.-

UNCLE BRO: -He's not really helping-

UNCLE BRO: Nah just wanted to sit and chat try and help with some choices

RILEY: -pulls her arm away from him. she can't look at him, she can't tell him- about what? there's nothing to talk-- -her voice cracks and she sighs, looking like she's about to cry-

UNCLE BRO: Nevermind we can talk food later

DAD: -still trying to catch Roxanne's eye. He is subtle. The most stealt- ...- 

DAD: SEE TO IT THAT YOU ARE WELL, RILEY. PLEASE. -uncovering this beautiful blue velvet cake.-

BRO: Shit-- Riley... -eyeballs james and the cake- She dont want that shes not feeling well. 

BRO: ... -looks back at her- You dont want it right?

UNCLE BRO: -Holy shit he needs a piece of that-

DAD: -He wasn't exactly offering it being concerned for her like he was. But. It's here. He puts it up for display.-

UNCLE BRO: -He's gonna get a piece of that when less drama-

RILEY: no, i-- fuck. -she turns around and starts to hurry out of the room-

BRO: Riley-- -HHHHHH- 

BRO: -turns head to look at davenforth like YOU FOOL. YOU FUCKING FOOL. YOU ABSOLUTE GODDAMN BUFFOON. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU.-

UNCLE BRO: -He's used to it at this point. Catknife.jpg-

UNCLE BRO: Yo hey ro and jamie can you help me with somethin in the atrium

BRO: -THERE IS NO WHERE TO HIDE-

DAD: -gentlemen please...- DEPENDING ON THE NATURE OF THE REQUEST. I WOULD NOT BE OPPOSED TO OFFERING ASSISTANCE WHERE I CAN. -passive gazing at Derek.- UNCLE BRO: -He's trying to give you some privacy JEEZ- BRO: -grumps- (Subtle James.) -WHATEVER. he's out of here.- UNCLE BRO: I wanted to talk to you about lif real quick RILEY: -GOTTA GO FAST- ROXANNE: -She has been so god damn interested in this potato salad, damn who made it, its so much more incredible then the drama taking place around her.- DAD: -Roxanne, please... He turns his attention back to Daven. Continues to unload his pastry cart.- HOW PRIVATE IS THE MATTER. UNCLE BRO: Shes my girlfriend so pretty private

DAD: -pauses, surprised to learn this. Suddenly a good many facts seem to make sense to him.- I WAS NOT AWARE. BUT REGARDLESS, I WOULD NOT THINK TO BERATE A REQUEST FOR DISCRETION. OR THE URGENCY WHICH MAY FOLLOW SUIT. DAD: I AM AVALIABLE SPEAK AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.

[temulencegenetrix]

[06:03] TG: *Its pretty calm and quiet in Roxanne's room right now. Which is certainly not a bad thing. Roxanne was sitting on the couch, tapping away at a tablet that was monitoring her experiments in the lab, sending her readings and research, and simultaneously one of those adicting but free apps like candycrush. Russet was similarly occupied with the wrigglerbrand learning husktop James had gotten her, content with button mashing the keyboard until she got the correct letters in order to surpass to the next level of learning the alphabet.*

[06:11] TT: *it wasn't too unusual for derek to be quiet, but there's always a distinct difference between his regular brand and his tense brand of silence. he's been preoccupying himself with this damn delicious apple cake james also gave to him, while simultaneously feeding russet pieces and glaring at the neat device that very same man had gotten her. stupid egbert.*

[06:15] TG: *She is pretty absorbed in what she is doing, but once in a while Roxanne is glancing over at her grumpy looking man and her alien baby. It doesn't take her /too/ long to comment on Derek's mood.* Ya' sure are giving russet's toy th'stink eye.

[06:18] TG: *Russet is oblivious to the glares towards her new husktop, and just opens her orange drooly mouth when she wants more cake.*

[06:21] TT: Dunno what youre talking about. I always look like this. *wipes drool off on his shirt*

[06:25] TG: How many times have ya' looked in a mirror then, 'cus you don't /always/ look that grumpy. *Roxanne puts her tablet down in her lap for a moment, turning herself more towards Derek and Russet. She knew that this last week or two had probably been a bit stressful or at least weird for him.*

[06:56] TT: How do I usually look then? *tilts his head back to look at her. he's TRYING to lighten the mood by teasing, because he would rather not draw anymore attention to his mood.*

[06:59] TG: More serious, less like ya' want to wish away a children's computer. also handsome as heck but that hasn't changed. *She offers a bit of a smile.*

[07:06] TT: *smirks back at her and then looks at russet again* I wouldnt wanna wish her gift away. Shes having fun with it. *pats the baby's head*

[07:09] TG: **Russet only looks away from her number game to blink up at her dad when her head is pat. Cue happy chirps.*

[07:09] TG: Okay so ya'dont wanna wish her gift away. then what are ya'frowning about?

[07:39] TT: Nothin. *continues to watch the baby, quiet for a moment* Whats she need it for though?

[07:47] TG: Well ta' learn to spell and stuff i guess, what else? *She leans over to gesture at the word game Russet was playing.* my friend james got it for her. educational toys gotta' be good for her.

[07:54] TT: Yeah alright. *mumbles and eats more cake* Course its from James.

[08:24] TG: Well i mean, really it could have been a few people. but yeah it was from him. *She is picking up on your tone, yes sir.*

[08:25] TG: **Russet stops playing her game again and reaches for Derek's hands. Give her all the cake.*

[08:42] TT: *YOU'RE GONNA GET FAT LIKE YOUR DAD IF YOU KEEP EATING CAKE. he continues to share it though because he's gone soft.* What a great guy.

[08:44] TG: **THE BABY DECLARES LET THEM EAT CAKE, and stuffs her mouth with the amount her dad gives her.*

[08:45] TG: Yeah he kinda' is, isn't he. i think he gave russet the computer, or uh? husktop? is the troll way of saying it? i dunno' if they are any different from each other but anyways, yeah i think he gave it to her because i mentioned how i was worried she wasn't talkin' yet.

[08:46] TT: *hm. he hadn't really given that much thought* Should we be worried about that?

[08:47] TG: *She gives a shrug.* 'dunno. most human babies don't do much more then babble at her age, or what i think her age is anyways, but a lot of the other troll kids are already saying words and russet wont do much else but make bug noises.

[09:06] TT: *makes a disgruntled noise. was something wrong with her?* Sure it doesnt mean anything. *plays with one of russet's braids.*

[09:09] TG: Yeah it probably means nothing at all, and shes just takin' her own sweet time but. . .mhh *Roxanne just shrugs again* I'm sure she will start sayin' words soon.

[09:14] TT: Yeah. Shes just the quiet type. Arent ya Russ? *offers her more cake*

[09:17] TG: **She makes a squeaky trill and happily grabs the cake from her dad.* **Om nom nom*

[09:18] TG: *Roxanne contains her sigh.* Yeah she sure is. wouldn't complain if she even just made more language sounding noises though.

[09:29] TT: Well get her there. *you can COUNT ON IT, roxanne. now that he knows its an issue, he probably wont leave it alone...*

[09:31] TG: *She gives him a smile that hopefully contains her thanks. Roxanne tries to play it down but it does worry her. She doesn't know a lot about raising trolls, and well, Ymirra aint around to ask anymore.*

[09:32] TG: **There are tiny hands lifting up to smeer drooly cake mush on the underside of Derek's chin. Russet may not know how to say "Dad" but she knows how to share.*

[09:42] TT: *scrunches up his face as mush is squished to his chin* ... Thanks baby. *wipes it off and finally puts the cake away. they'll get tummy aches if they eat much more.*

[09:43] TG: **She makes a noise that is a mix of laughter and chirps while clapping her messy hands together.*

[09:44] TG: *Roxanne hides her snort by hiding her face with her tablet.*

[09:49] TT: *looks over at her* What are you gigglin at huh?

[09:59] TG: **Russet giggles louder, copying her mom by covering her big grin with her hands.*

[10:00] TG: She's laughin' at how funny she thinks she is probably. *Smirks at him from over her device, pretending to go back to work.*

[10:09] TT: *scoops up russet into his lap and tickles at her tum* Ill give you something to laugh about.

[10:12] TG: **But DAD!! Russet squeels, wriggling about and trying to cover her tummy while the merciless tickles continue. Shes laughing more then ever.*

[10:12] TG: *And its super hard for Roxanne not to get a case of the giggles herself from low key watching this.* Ya' two are too cute.

[10:26] TT: Yeah I know. *TICKLES while cackling* But you know whatd be cuter? If you were over here with us.

[10:29] TG: Oh well in that case, i'm all for cute overloads, so looks like genome structure samples gotta' wait. *Roxanne puts down her tablet and sits next to Derek and squirming Russet. Without too much time passing, she scoops up one of Russet's feet and gives it a good old raspberry, making the little troll girl giggle even louder.*

[11:07] TT: Heh. Shit looks like I was right. Much cuter. *stops tickling her so the poor kid can get a moment to breathe*

[09:37] TG: *Now that Russet isn't being tickled to death the little girl is able to pull her foot free of her mom, to which Roxanne fully complies with and releases her baby's toes. Gotta' give the kid time to breath and all that.* Heheh, yeah ya' sure were.

[09:50] TT: *now that he's lured her over, he leans in to give roxanne a quick kiss. it feels like it's been a while, and between the possessiveness and the insecurities that have been dug up lately, he can't help wanting that closeness.*

[09:55] TG: *She smiles when he kisses her. As much as Derek desired the closeness, Roxanne wanted it just as badly if not more so. It was hard to watch someone you care about stress over something so much, and while Roxanne knew it was best to stay out of it as much as she could, it still meant the world to her to be able to be here for him. She only pulled her lips away so she could give him another kiss on

[09:55] TG: his cheek and lean her head on his shoulder.*

[09:55] TG: So, new years is comin' up. any resolutions?

[10:06] TT: Hmm. *rests his head on hers, lifting russet to sit in his lap and bouncing her a little.* I got so much I could improve on I dont even know where to begin.

[10:13] TG: **Russet is quite content being bounced and held by her human-lusi, and makes it known through her pleased purrs.*

[10:14] TG: *Roxanne hums and taps a finger to her chin to dramatically express her thinking.* Well, start by pickin' just one. and make it dooable so you don't cop-out half way through the first month.

[10:44] TT: *considers his options... which all involve general self improvement, in terms of him just... being kind of an asshole.* I guess eatin fewer doritos is doable.

[10:56] TG: That sure is. how many bags of doritos do ya' eat in a day?

[11:03] TT: ... Id tell you but you might get a lil concerned for my health.

[11:04] TG: . . . derek oh my god how many do you eat.

[11:19] TT: Doesnt matter. Cuz from now on I can totally limit that number to one.

[11:19] TT: ... Or two.

[11:22] TG: *Roxanne lifts her head up and takes Derek's hand before putting two of her fingers to his wrist to check his pulse*

[11:23] TG: . . . . .

[11:23] TG: A'ight, you're good for now. one bag a day max from now on.

[11:23] TG: An' no bears.

[11:29] TT: Its always gotta come back to the bears doesnt it? Come on Ro.

[11:29] TT: If I were wrestling bears I wouldnt have time to eat so many doritos.

[11:30] TG: Those bears would eat you like a dorito instead.

[11:25] TT: *snickers a little at the comparison* No way I told you I got this.

[11:27] TG: An' i told you that i fought th'bear i cloaned it from. it took me, your brother, ymirra, and several others to bring it down.

[11:27] TG: It would eat ya'.

[11:48] TT: Not if I ate it first. *what?? he doesnt seem to care that hes spouting nonsense as he starts smooching on her again. on the cheek and the jawline.*

[11:50] TG: And eatin' a whole bear is any better for your health then endless bags of doritos?? *She starts out laughing but it fades into a pleased hum as Derek leaves her cheek for her jawline.*

[12:00] TT: I dont wanna take it out for my health. I wanna do it for the fun of it. *casually trails down to her neck next.*

[12:03] TG: *And boy howdy does she let him.* Do ya'know how hard it is to make bears? *She lets out a happy sigh, shutting her eyes as she feels his lips on her neck* if you killed it you'd owe me a bear.

[12:09] TT: I think I know a thing or two about procreation. *wait that just sounds like he'd fuck a bear. now he's snickering against her neck immaturely. this is not cool of him at all.*

[12:11] TG: Oh my god, you're like twelve years old sometimes, derek. *She's trying not to laugh, to take the HIGHGROUND. But its really hard not to snicker with him, because she is also eturnally young.*

[12:17] TT: That double entendre seriously backfired on me. *more of his wheezy laughter before he returns to kissing her.*

[12:21] TG: *Roxanne is of course enjoying the attention, and kisses, but UNFORTUNATLY there is the fact that Russet dislikes it when all eyes aren't on her, and the troll baby starts squirming in her dad's lap again.*

[12:21] TG: **Her parents can be gross some other time*

[12:22] TG: Uh-oh, fussy baby alert.

[12:46] TT: *he actually does frown a bit but when he pulls away from roxanne he's smirking again.* Hey lets be reasonable here. You got pretty much all my attention kiddo.

[12:47] TG: **Russet nudges his belly with her tiny feets and chitters at her mom and dad creatures*

[12:48] TG: We've been over this though, she's gotta' have all eyes on her at all times. *Although Roxanne agrees that maybe Russet could have WAITED a bit.*

[01:12] TT: Yeah. And I get it. Funny how much she and I got in common. *they truly are related, even if not by blood. he takes her feet and plays with them some more, resuming to entertain the child until her bedtime. but after that, with no more distractions, roxanne is gonna get many more smooches and whatever else she wants.*

[weatheringquerist-blog]

BRO: -flash steps on up to one of the cells not presently being occupied by one of the other rescue teams. he knocks lightly on the door, speaking just as softly.- Yo any UU crew in there?

DIRK: -JUMPS because he's pretty sure he's hallucinating when he hears that voice-

EQUIUS: D --> State yourself -looks up-

WQ: -As all crew of the AA were already aware they were of the UU, this could only mean one thing. After a couple seconds of hesitation, there is a soft,- Yes. There is. -from the other side.-

BRO: Sup. Its Derek Strider. Weve come to save your sorry asses.

BRO: Let me get this door opened up for you. Tell me whos in there while I work on it. -looks at the keypad and strokes his chin before he breaks out some kind of decoder device to attach to it. whether he just had this or was given it for this purpose, who knows.-

DIRK: Y... -he's honestly speechless.-

EQUIUS: D --> Equius Zahhak, Dirk Strider, Qirin, and the Summoner. Thank goodness you've come

BRO: -freezes for a moment- Dirk? ... -swallows and gets back to work- Anybody wounded?

WQ: There are abrasions on Equius's knuckles. Dirk and Rhodri also suffered minor concussions the first day. I am well.

BRO: -he's cursing to himself because it isn't working- Its not opening. Shit.

DIRK: ... -wanders over to the door- Probably because we broke it...

BRO: ... Now whyd you have to go and do a thing like that?

EQUIUS: D --> Desperation makes you decide f001ish things, Sir Strider

WQ: I would not call it desperation. More like an escape attempt that went awry.

DIRK: -fidgets-

BRO: Yeah dont I know it.

BRO: Alright well I guess were doing this the old fashioned way. -rummages through his sylladex-

BRO: Stay as far away from the door as you can.

WQ: That is absolutely doable. ^_^ -she begins to back away, pulling Dirk and Equius back and also making sure Rhodri is out of harms way.-

EQUIUS: D --> -Is a strong independent horse that don't need no chess piece-

WQ: -then book it boi!-

DIRK: -uselessly stumbles after qirin-

BRO: Alright hope youre good. -slaps some plastic explosives on the door and steps back as well. PULL THE LEVER, KRONK.-

[KA-BOOOOOOOM. the door is EXPLODED. does this guy just carry explosives around? truly an enigmatic man.]

BRO: -waits for the dust to clear before poking his head in- Sup.

WQ: ^_^ Nothing much. We are, as one would say, simply hanging out.

EQUIUS: D --> -GROANS-

BRO: Fucking incredible. -he looks at dirk though. wow, he really wanted to be the one to rescue him, but... seeing him now is just kind of tripping him up, especially since they haven't been on the best of terms BEFORE all this went down.-

BRO: Uh... Come on lets get you guys out of here. -gestures for them to follow him-

EQUIUS: -Puts Summoner over his back fireman style and carries him out-

DIRK: -more uncertain shuffling, but he feels a hand on his shoulder that stops him-

BRO: -removes his shades and hands them off to dirk- Here these look better on you.

DIRK: ... -oh. he accepts them silently at puts them on. he's still so overwhelmed by this.-

BRO: -clears his throat- Anyway. Lets mosey. -scouts out the area as they make their way back to the atrium.-

EQUIUS: D --> What took you so long -No one else gonna do it? Okay. Horse gonna do it.-

[gulescamisade]

WELCOME TO EARTH

[ The distant light of Sol-1 finally touches upon the ship, somewhere not too terribly far from earth, as they weave between the debris scattered in the system's asteroid belt. The system appears to be a hotbed of activity, patrolled by at least a dozen ships patrolling its orbit, though the tremendous amount of interference from an approximate fuckton of space rocks seems to be doing an adequate job of masking their approach, for now. The crew is ordered to be ready for the worst, considering the riskiness of their approach, with all of the Security members manning battle stations and engineering on standby for potential damage. There remains a small list of others commanded for presence on the bridge-- Horuss, Equius, Daelos and Roxy-- with special instructions prepared for the moment they manage to clear the asteroid belt. ]

DIRK: -at any moment they could be too close. in fact, they might be already, but who knows how long they can maintain what they're going to do. there's a lot of risks involved, but his gut is telling him now is the moment to give the signal.-

DIRK: -looks to this specialized group of folks.- Alright, guys, time to show us what you've got.

DIRK: If the plan goes awry, we'll just put up the ship's cloak and hope for the best.

DIRK: But it ain't gonna go awry. -he believes in the horses and his platonic wife.-

ROXY: =She made them all shirts, they BETTER be wearing them. A solid blue that reads V-SQUAD with (Not that kind of V) in small letters under it=

ROXY: i got a whole lot u cant handle dstri

ROXY: welcum 2 the sweaty gun show =flexes minorly but yes, time for the one with the void thing. She's sitting and touching the ground since it's a collaborative effort there's no need to go TOO crazy on her own=

TEREZI: V-SQU4D, V-SQU4D, TH3YR3 OUR CL4N 

TEREZI: 1F TH3Y C4NT DO 1T NO ON3 C4N

TEREZI: =moral support=

ROXY: =she loves u Terezi=

TEREZI: >;]

HORUSSBOT: Udder nonsense. I have 100% confidence in my abilities. Nothing will trot off horse. -whirrs, his goggles blaring red. He has had quite some time prepping in the void for a task such as this. Now, it was time to put the thoughts into action into the motion of events.-

HORUSSBOT: -Of course, he can't turn down a gift from Roxy. Horuss is wearing the obligatory V-Squad shirt.-

EQUIUS: -This shirt is stupid and 100di% but it's also kind of cute that Roxy made these. He's focused. He's always focused, standing on the bridge after giving engineering THOROUGH instructions. Jake, do not heck this up.-

JAKE: -vigorous awoos from the engineering labs.-

EQUIUS: D --> We will do as we are needed to. This e%ercise will go off without a hitch

DIRK: -thumbs up at them and their confidence-

DAELOS: - Looking out of place with a t-shirt that's a bit too tight but he's more focused on carefully keeping an eye on the ship than his wardrobe-

JADE: -She's in her station as well, because there's no way she's sitting out on a mission so important, even if she doesn't feel quite as ready as her peers.-

ROXY: =She made it tight on purpose=

ROXY: =ur welc every1=

ROXY: =They're all wearing tight shirts=

ROXY: =Additional ur welcs=

EQUIUS: -He's probably going to flex out of it later-

ROXANNE: -At her station as well, mentally cheering on her daughter. U go bby, she believes in you.-

ROXY: =Feels mom-couragement, internal warmth and weeping=

ROXANNE: -<333-

EQUIUS: -The human disease called love-

[ The ships are still just dim blips on a sensor, and it really seems like they're going to stay that way-- it's a long circuit around the sun and the nearest doesn't seem to be making any move to intercept them. The effects of being under a cloak of void are almost imperceptible to the majority of the crew. ]

ROSE: -There are still a few who'd feel it, though. She's laying her head down and closing her eyes, wincing at even the softest lights in her room. This is not an altogether COMPLETELY pleasant sensation, right now.-

HORUSSBOT: -The void portal device will be running in the engineering labs. Now it is a matter of manipulating the void pocket within outwards. Like a droplet of oil moving through water, so will the ship move undetected through space. Horuss, unlike EVERYONE ELSE, is not distracted in his task of breathing out and letting the Nothing seep from his essence. The edges of his robotic form warble out of the corner of people's eyes. Everything is trotting along as planned.-

DAVE: -he's manning his section of security on the ship, overseeing guards and in ready position should anything go wrong. there's a lot of stuff on his mind about this trip, but he's not focusing on it. he's just making sure he's ready to take action if and when it is needed.-

EQUIUS: -He's barely in focus, unless you are of course focusing on him. Equius settling down to concentrate on his task, positively exuding the void from his entire being. What he lacks in the finesse his teammates have he more than makes up with sheer POWER.-

HORUSSBOT: -Well Horuss is more thorough and studious about it. So there.-

ARADIA: -standing on another level by the atrium, she's just watching. not in caution, but in waiting.-

ROXY: =She's just here to have a good time and be helpful=

EQUIUS: -Shhh fellow horse. You are amazing too. Just not as amazing as me-

MEULIN: -She's there with Dave, smiling supportively every now and again if she catches his gaze, but otherwise remaining serious, bristled with anxiety.-

DAELOS: -In a similar way he also seems to be imperceptible, though in a slightly different way. It's not that it's hard to see him, but people may forget that he's there for a time. He's absorbed in the ship's sensors and radar.-

DAVE: -it makes it easier to be sturdy for someone else, because he can tell meulin is feeling anxious. he gives her a nod when she smiles- nothin to worry about

DAVE: we all know what were supposed to do

DEREK: -he's REALLY counting on y'all for this to work, cuz he'd rather not drive everybody right into danger.-

DAVENFORTH: -Manning his security section, in full uniform. His trench coat flutters gently. But how?-

ROXANNE: -That would be the ideal yeah... But it will work! Optimism is important guys.-

MEULIN: RIGHT! -Except that they're heading into the playground of probably the biggest threat to them currently, and she's sure that before this is done, there's going to be some blood on her claws. Will she be able to handle that when the time comes? The fact that Dave is there, that he's been there every other time she couldn't handle it, is really the only assurance she can cling to for now.-

NEPETA: =She's ready, for the rumblings. Spiny is also ready for the rumblings, pets the lorge lizard=

[ The PLAN continues to go smoothly-- even at a cautious pace, Earth is growing larger and larger, the ship slowly beginning a controlled descent onto the planet. Things seem to be a bit different, with all of the voidiness wrapped around the ship, and any of the heat or pressures of gravity from re-entry seem to slip right by them. From an outside perspective, it would look bizzare, if it were possible for it to look like anything at all. They glide down towards the wider area of the Pacific Northwest, in the direction of a relatively obscure meeting place-- Baseball was both made illegal and cancelled forever, evidently, and it's almost unreal how delapitated the diamond has become, visible from high in the sky, in only a short period of open occupation. ]

RILEY: -she desperately wishes she had something to do at the moment with so much on her mind, so she's walking around the ship instead of sitting and waiting-

QIRIN: =baseball banned?? how awful=

ROXANNE: -Earth wtf.-

DEREK: Damn that was a smooth ride. -grins back at everyone from his pilot's chair.- DIRK: -naturally he believed in them, but damn is he relieved when they start to land. eyeballs the dad.-

VRISKA: -she's looking bored wherever she's supposed to look out for. can't she do something IMPORTANT?! they are absolutely wasting her skills. she sighs dramatically from where she's assigned-

TEREZI: STUNN1NG JOB, STR1D3R SR! 👌

TEREZI: V-SQU4D R31GNS SUPR3M3, 4S USU4L >:]

ROXY: shes sweet talkin me ;P =shes also sweating a bit the ship is fuckin lorge=

TEREZI: M3 SW33T? N3V3R!

JOHN: -BASEBALL WAS BANNED???? THE ALL AMERICAN PASTIME??? THAT BITCH.-

[ There's AMPLE ROOM for a landing, even if it's a severely makeshift spaceport and there isn't too much room for wiggling. They'll also DEFINITELY demolish this whole fuckin thing when they take off again. They touch down on a flat land that is nonetheless a bit overgrown with crabgrass and weeds, sensors reading no ships in the sky anywhere in the surrounding area. There is a definitive ALL CLEAR. ]

QIRIN: =John, it's all the more reason we are here. Fight. Win. Homerun.=

ROXY: =sports=

DAELOS: -Wipes sweat off his brow as they land. That was very stressful.-

DEREK: -touches this baby down nice and gentle...- Well folks we made it. DIRK: -he's already trying to message jamison or jude or whoever will pick up, really.-

HORUSSBOT: -Robo neighs and doesn't sweat at all. The sweat is in his soul.-

JOHN: -whistling Georgia by Ray Charles somewehre in the lwoer decks as they land.-

JAMISON: =They'll be there in two shakes Dirkington! He's brought his various makeshift weapons also!=

JAMES: -Hovering by his Aunt Jolene, most likely. She must be at the ends of her tethers being in Condy territory. Their old home, Earth...-

EQUIUS: -He breathes out deeply. Sweating greatly. He flexes uncomfortably in this cotton prison-

DIRK: -god bless you, jamison harley.- Alright, everybody sit tight. We're gonna make this quick.

DIRK: -gets on the intercom to address security.- Open up the docking bay. They'll be here any minute.

ROXY: =listen she tried to make them super absorbant=

JOHN: -Ooooooooooh he wants out. He feels like a dog getting amped up to go for a walk. He's so overcome with nostalgia that he forgets to be scared.-

DAVE: -he's on it and he'll bring meulin with him-

JOLENE: -most certainly, nephew. just knowing they're near james' house -- the neighborhood where her sister used to live... knowing the state it must be in now. at least she's keeping it under wraps... FOR NOW.-

KARKAT: =surprise it's him not-security-dude=

KANKRI: -From where he is he suddenly gets the feeling that John should calm down.-

DAVENFORTH: -Messages Derek: "Way to not fuck up 👍" -

KARKAT: =hes here to welcome and also punch=

JOHN: -BUT HE'S SO EXCITED.-

DAVE: -you're always secure in my heart karkat-

JAMES: -stern and gentle hand on his Auntie. Please have a cookie.-

MEULIN: -Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and following Dave! She's trying to make a special effort to be quiet.-

ROSE: -A little bit of a stumbling stagger, squinting at all the lights still, but she's out of her office and TRYING to breathe. It's a really bad time to have a whole bunch of migraines, but she'll deal for now.- REDGLARE: -HERE FOR APPEARANCE PURPOSES of course. She's resting on her staff and waiting by the docking bay.-

JOHN: -HE WANTS OFF THE SHIP RIGHT NOW. Hovers near Rose.-

VRISKA: -BOOOOOOOORING-

DEREK: -responds back like Thanks my guy. 👍-

JOLENE: -pets james' hand vigorously... then nibbles a cookie.- :I

ROXANNE: -She is also heading for the docking bay, her services may not be required but do you know how long its been since she has even seen a glimpse of her home planet? Too damn long, she will take what she can get by watching from inside the dockingbay.-

MEULIN: -Watches the docking bay slide open. Exciting...-

DIRK: -NOBODY IS LEAVING THIS SHIP JOHN DON'T SCAMPER OFF-

DIRK: -HE'LL FOOTBALL TACKLE YOU ONTO THIS BASEBALL DIAMOND-

DIRK: -and he'll love it. sports.-

QIRIN: =wrong sport, dirk=

DIRK: -no?-

JOHN: -WHATEVER DIRK, YOU'RE NOT HIS DAD. he's being good for now though and just rocking on his heels.-

QIRIN: =YES=

JOHN: -he's got all the medical equipment you could ever want ready in his sylladex.-

RILEY: -this is hells of nervewracking. she didn't think she would be nervous, but here she is, waiting outside the docking bay behind everyone else. she just wants to make sure she's alive and breathing, then she can leave her alone for a little while-

ROSE: -twists the cap off an aspirin bottle, spilling a few pills into her palm and swallowing them dry.-

DIRK: -makes his way to the docking bay just to see them in and give more direct orders in case SOMETHING goes wrong, which he can't help feeling it will.-

TEREZI: =BLECH=

ROXY: =Is Rose around her? She's gettin EYEBALLED=

QIRIN: =these kids..=

ROSE: -ALMOST CERTAINLY NOt-

JOHN: -Takes a break from being excited about being on a baseball diamond he played at as a kid and HAS A CONCERN AT ROSE.- hey, you ok?

[At first, there's the distant sound of a rumbling engine, but it doesn't stay distant for long. It's getting pretty loud pretty rapidly.]

PENNY: -HERE COMES A CAR, otherwise known as a scuttlebuggy, and there's none other than a feisty redhead behind the wheel. Crammed in the car with her is a few too many people, and on top of it is... well.-

JAMISON: =CAR SURFING, barechested with homemade screw/nail grenanades. A potato-zooka strapped to his back and a modified nail gun in each hand=

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: In most of the important ways, yes, I am fine.

ROSE: My head is not terribly pleased with me for existing, but we've had these kind of disagreements before.

DIRK: ... -looks into the fucking camera-

JOHN: :/ hey are you sure you're up to this? you should stay behind if you're ill.

DAVE: -wow-

REDGLARE: >;| -AT THIS SIGHT-

JOHN: -gdi-

ROSE: I'm sure.

ROSE: I've been looking forward to this, as twisted as it sounds.

PENNY: -BROOM BROOM I'M IN ME OWN CAR. She doesn't seem to be stopping for anything. She's gonna drive this car right into the docking bay!!!!-

ROSE: I want to meet them.

ROSE: I've been speaking to Jane for some time now.

TESSERACT: =is LORGE DOG=

TESSERACT: =His head is stuck out the window, tongue lolling with a huge doggy grin!=

JUDE: -A VERY FRAZZLED MAN IS IN THE PASSENGER'S SIDE. he's holding on tight to the dashboard while also looking around everywhere. in front of them, behind them-- and when he looks back oh god THEY'RE GOING IN.-

ROXANNE: -Those are some sweet driving skills.-

JAMISON: TALLY-HO! GANG WAY!

DIRK: Jesus Christ--

DIRK: -side steps...-

DIRK: -more crazy ass family-

RILEY: -that's definitely piper driving-

JAKE: - :D from the engineering labs if he were here. It's a family reunion...-

JOHN: -it's a puppy-

REDGLARE: -of course they are. OF COURSE YOU ARE. She's just gonna FLY UP INTO THE AIR-

JOEY: =she's halfway out the same window, just feeling the wind rush through her hair, waving at those they pass by like she's on a parade float=

PENNY: -TIRE SCREECHING as she nyooms this car up into the ship, hitting the brakes so they can avoid running into anything or anyone-

JOLENE: -waddles down here just in time- jamie--! ... JOLENE: >_>

ARADIA: -has been in the air since they landed. she smiles at redglare-

JOHN: -look, more mysterious relatives. he floats up, waving.- hey everybody!!!

ARADIA: -HELLO REDGLARE-

REDGLARE: ... -HI-

REDGLARE: -SHE'S JUST. GONNA LAND NOW THAT THE CAR'S INSIDE-

JAMES: -follows a shade bit more cautiously. Uncle. James disapproves of your shirtlessness. It's indecent.-

JAMISON: HUP! =as the tires screech, flies off into a front flip and STICKS the landing= ..... Would you all like to meet my kids?? :D

MEULIN: (=ﾟ･ﾟ=) ... -jesus-

JUDE: -leaning heavily against the door, he opens it and just.. spills out onto the floor.-

JOHN: -lol-

JAMES: ...OH.

DAVE: -slow claps-

JUDE: -a pile of awkward gangly limbs.-

JOHN: -hovers near Dad- :O

JOEY: =doesnt even bother with the door. She's crawling out!=

TESSERACT: =no me first!=

PENNY: -puts the car in park and turns it off, opening her door up and stepping out so she can flip her hair and huff.- WOOOOO.

JAMISON: Awwww brighten up Jude the Dude! =lifts Jude=

RILEY: -aaaaaaand yep. that's her.-

JUDE: hhhhh... -HOISTED, then looks around wildly. WHO ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE.-

JOEY: =trolls of course! psh!=

ROXANNE: -Your new forever neighbors probably, jude.-

JAMISON: =Also helps Joey out the window= Jojo look!!!!

JUDE: -I WONT HESITATE BITCH-

JOHN: -walks right up without a second thought- hi! i'm john! can i pet your pupper?

JOEY: aunt jo!! :'D

JAMES: -Kind of just stern, silent, and shiny eyed. ;__; Don't mind him. These were just family members James was sure were lost in the war decades ago.-

JANE: -She's squished in with a dog in the back seat, and she finally manages to crack a door open and step out, looking a fair bit disgruntled. Hello, she's a familiar face...-

TESSERACT: =tackles john right to the floor, licking his face in slobbery kisses=

JOLENE: -HOBBLES OVER TO THE FAMILY- joey!! jude!! -crashes into the lot of them with a big hug-

JAMISON: =Hauls around Jane too, ALL THESE KIDS=

JOHN: -YESSSSSS. Much hoo haing and petting as his face is kissed.-

ROXANNE: -Oh wait is james okay, shes gonna be looking at him with his misty eye thing happening.-

DAVE: -none of their family's reunions were ever anything like this. it's so...happy. and welcomed.-

PENNY: -grinning a little at the family reunions... her eyes aren't wandering.-

JOEY: =just hugging her auntie so tightly!!!=

JANE: Oof--!?

JAMISON: =THAT'S HOW J'S DO IT=

JANE: HELLO!

JANE: Everyone!

TESSERACT: =YES, this boy likes the john human.= TESSERACT: BORF!

JOHN: aww he's so friendly! -PAT PAT PAT PAT-

JANE: Oughtn't we shut the-- door?

JAMES: -Don't look at him... But yes do. He maintains that polite distance.- JAMES: -He is also very ? about the very familiar shape of Jane in the group.-

JAMES: JANEWAY? IS THAT YOU?

TESSERACT: BORF BORF BORF!! =dancing around john=

JANE: ...

JANE: -freezes in place- ...Dad?

JOHN: -STARES AT ALL THESE...COUSINS? SIBLINGS? VAGUE FAMILY MEMBERS CURIOUSLY. eyes widen particualrily at the jane and dad interaction.-

JOHN: -still papping tesser-

JAMISON: =HE'S YELLING ABOUT BABIES AND JUST TEARS UP ALREADY, YESSS=

RILEY: -she's studying her from a distance, making mental notes of sad observations she'll stow away for later-

PENNY: -leans against her car and just casually lights up a cigarette. Those aren't banned in spaceships, right??-

DAVENFORTH: -Nope-

JAMES: YES. -now striding forward, his uncertainty be damned.- WHAT EVER WERE YOU DOING ON EARTH?

TESSERACT: =lick!=

ROSE: -She's DEFINITELY not at her best, right now, but hopefully it doesn't show at all as she tries to make her way through the group and make it to the face that is familiar. FAMILIAR TWOFOLD because she did see her once over the chat program.-

ROSE: It's—

ROSE: Good to finally meet you.

ROSE: -and then she stops, glancing at James slightly quizically.-

ROSE: I have a suspicion it should be within my nature to comprehend how this is supposed to work, and far be it for me to sully this occasion,

ROSE: But is your name sincerely Janeway? You ought to have disclosed you were named after a Star Trek character.

DIRK: -in the process of closing the hatch. it's all good.-

DAVE: -hey, that one redhead looks weirdly kind of like his mom-

JOHN: -goddamnit dad.. he laughs at that.-

JAMES: -Arguably one of the best of the series... but he digresses. Just ask what John's middle name is. Do it. It's Tiberius.-

JOHN: -Well.-

JANE: I—

JANE: -She glances at Rose, laughing incredulously, and back at who she is pretty sure is her father, eyes stinging.-

JOEY: =she wandered over to Tessie and this guy who looks strangely family.=

JOEY: hehehe hi im joey =Holds out a hand to shake=

JOEY: tesseracts a bit excitable

JOEY: sorry he squished ya

JUDE: -he's happy somewhere under all this crippling anxiety-

JOEY: =bro no=

JOHN: hey! i'm assuming we're related in some way but i don't know how yet. nice to meet you anyway though!

JAMES: THIS IS OVERWHELMING. -No... don't cry. He offers a hand out to her.- JANE.

JADE: -She's made it down here, too, tail wagging and peering around bodies to try to figure out what's going on.- hey!!

JOHN: -fist bump.-

JAMISON: =will a hairy dad smoooch do him well, hes getting one=

JOEY: =Snrk= of course JOEY: =BNPS=

DAVE: -there's jade. good. it's kind of cute seeing her so excited about this. it's really cute. he's missed it-

JAMISON: JADE!

JUDE: -HHHH-

JANE: Dad... -just sort of... stops hesitating and rushes over to SQUISH HIM IN A REFRIGERATOR-MANHANDLING HUG.-

JAMISON: COME MEET YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER!

JOEY: family is family :)

JADE: !!

JUDE: -it's her...-

JAMISON: =HE'S smiling SO WIDE, they look a bit like the kids from the photo he showed her=

JADE: oh!!! -BOOF TROTS OVER-

JOEY: =Glances up at that!= o:

JAMISON: =look at this photograph....=

JOHN: -sorry joey he gets distracted for a bit when he sees this. awww.-

JOHN: -he doesn't often see his dad like this.-

JAMES: -Is presumably LIFTED like some fragile case of a refrigerator. Horfs gently and with much indignity.- ... -and then smiles.-

JAMES: -rests a hand into her hair.-

JADE: hi!!! :D

JUDE: ... hello -finally manages to wheeze out-

JANE: -sniffs- You...'ve been here the whole time?

JADE: im jade!

JAMES: I HAVE MADE IT NO SECRET WHERE MY RETIREMENT WOULD LEAD ME, JANE. -He is confused... by happy. But concerned.- SURELY, YOU WERE AWARE.

JUDE: jude

JUDE: harley

JUDE: ... an unnecessary nugget of information to share but there it is

JOHN: -HE JUST FEELS REALLY. EMOTIONAL. This father/daughter thing in his peripheral and the fact that they just landed in his home town.-

JAMES: -putting arms around her now to lift her too.- EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT NOW.

ROXANNE: -Shes kind of creeping from the back but she can't help but be in awe at James being so highly emotional. Not that its unwarranted, that is his kid after all. But ahhh this is what a real family reunion should look like and its beautiful to watch unfold.-

JADE: i was a harley too! but now im a strider

JAMISON: =...right that=

JADE: i guess i never really stopped being a harley though :p

JAMISON: Aww well you're still a harley!! :D YES

JOHN: -clears is throat- so uh. sorry. joey. nice to meet you and everything. wait...i already said that. pfft. i am a little bit flustered!

JADE: haha!

RILEY: -what's up roxanne i'm back here too-

ROXANNE: -Please no.-

JOEY: wow.... :D so were related to striders now? who are the striders? where are they?

ROXANNE: -Except she will glance at Riley like "You seeing this amazing shit?"-

JANE: ...Dad, no, I... -pulls away from him a little to look at him- JANE: ...-glances around at Jude, and then Rose.-

JOHN: there's one! -points at dave-

JANE: ...I... no.

JANE: I'm... not from here.

JOHN: and there's one....-points at dirk-

DAVE: -raises hand-

JOHN: and there's one. -points at riley-

DIRK: -waves-

JOHN: they're kind of like roaches.

JOHN: everywhere!

RILEY: -looks back at roxanne like bitch if you knew....-

DIRK: Y'all can't even talk.

ROXANNE: -Good thing she dont.-

DIRK: There's literally a dozen of you right in front of us.

DAVE: we dont even have that many

PENNY: -blowing out clouds of smoke. She'll figure out all this relation stuff later.-

JOHN: well now we have some competition going at least.

JOEY: =glances between Dirk and Riley= all right jade which one did you marry

DIRK: -don't look at me-

JADE: pfff that one!

JADE: -points at Dave-

RILEY: -don't look at me????-

DAVE: -raises his hand again- hey

DIRK: I'm gonna let you guys get back to that. We need to get the hell outta dodge. -absconds for the bridge-

DAELOS: -STANDING UNCOMFORTABLY NEAR THE BACK. WE'RE IN ENEMY TERRITORY. AAAA. HOW ARE THESE HUMANS NOT FREAKING OUT.-

PENNY: yeah thats the pretty one.

JOEY: =waves to dave= hi fam

JAMES: -watches her expression carefully and notes what she says. Taking a small moment to register the information. Plug it into everything he already knew versus everything there was still left to learn.- ... -Takes Jane by the cheeks and smooches the top of her head.- JAMES: THERE WILL BE TIME TO DISCUSS IT.

PENNY: -calls out helpfully-

DIRK: -daelos come with him to the bridge-

DAELOS: -oh yes of course.-

DAVE: -did you just call me pretty-

DAELOS: -follow like a good horse.-

JOHN: you are pretty dave. -MAKES KISSY FACES.-

DAVE: im beautiful shut up

JOHN: hold on a minuite. -pops between jane and dad.- hey! i think i met another version of you but we're sort of unofficially brother and sister so hello again!

JOEY: thats the spirit

JOHN: -he's excited, dancing around the group like Tesseract.-

JUDE: -he wants to correct everyone on how they're related exactly... so badly... he has a chart-

RILEY: -crosses her arms, finding the nervousness quickly shifting into some kind of sickening bitter sadness.-

JOHN: -MAKE SHIRTS!!!-

JANE: ...Yes. There will be.

JANE: -she pulls back, looking at John and Dad, but her expression has lost quite a bit of its mirth as she refocuses on John-

JANE: I'm afraid we won't have as much time.

EQUIUS: -Messaging Jake: D --> It my understanding that this is your relation we have acquired. You have my e%press permission to greet them-

JOHN: -blinks- huh?

JOEY: ?

JAMES: WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? -He would like to understand you, daughter.-

JADE: -From her spot amongst the fam, she's started growling softly-- and the tone begins to rise.-

JUDE: ... -is she growling???? -

DAVE: -looks concerned over at jade- jade

JAMISON: =Watches this with furrowed brows= .....she's not so territorial... she was excited to see you all... Jade, dear...?

ROSE: -She frowns, reaching for Jane's shoulder.- ...I... understand if this is a bit much and you need some air.

JOEY: =laughs a little nervously=

JOEY: hey...

JOEY: you okay there?

JOHN: oh yeah! don't feel pressured to mix right off the bat. i'll withold my hugs if you want.

JUDE: -territorial????? iS SHE PART DOG NOW??? guess that would explain the ears- uh

JANE: -She reaches into her sylladex, daintily extracting a bright red tiara and placing it atop her head.-

JANE: I'm sorry, Rose. But also, not really.

ARADIA: -not surprised. just watching-

JADE: -Silence. And then,- B͖̞̞̩̫̦̬̀A̳̟̬͚̝̣͔͡R̡̻K̫̪̮̘

JOHN: uh...

JOEY: 8(

JAMES: - ? Stern fatherly concern.-

ROSE: -WINCE. Some people here have PERSISTENT MIGRAINES, JADE.-

JUDE: -looks between jade and jane and his stomach just drops-

JAMISON: !!

JAMISON: Jade? =Why does he feel the strong urge to chokehold his own daughter??=

JAMISON: =Tries to pat her arm...??=

DAVE: -furrows his eyebrows cuz that sounded funny. it's only natural that he go to her. something was really wrong- yo jade

JAMISON: =THERE THERE???=

RILEY: -UH?????-

JOHN: -looks back and forth between jade and jane, with a growing sense of unease.-

JOEY: =her first instinct is to glance over at Jude and the look on his face begins to damage her calm=

JUDE: dad, don't!

JUDE: everyone stay away from them!! -PANICKING. MIGHT VERY WELL PULL A PIECE OUT ON HIS HALF SISTER.-

TESSERACT: =actually WHINES and begins to back away=

TESSERACT: =tail is now tucked between his legs=

JAMISON: =FOR ONCE ABOUT GUNS= Whoa there... jude? Jude no... are... what are you... =Looks back at Jade=

JADE: -She looks up, ears twitching, and her entire body now is sparking -- not unlike before, but ten times more powerful, enough to raise the hairs of anyone around her. She snaps her head to Jude when he cries out, reaching out a hand, and there's a powerful surge of energy that suddenly seems to swallow them up.-

JAMISON: WHAT THE FRIG-CRIMINY FUDGE BASKET!?!?? =Tries to huddle the childrens protectively from..... the child....singular????=

JAMES: -Oh jiminy no. Whatever this terrible energy is, James is attempting to shield John and Jane from it. Regardless of anything else.-

JOEY: =tries jumping in front of her brother because that's HER BROTHER=

DAVE: -tries to yell as she does that- JADE

JADE: -Any attempts they make to hide are, unfortunately, in vain. One after another, everyone finds themselves vaulted through space in a flash of blinding green and warping surroundings, all very disorienting until almost everyone on the ship is elsewhere.-

ROXY: =Rude....=

ROXANNE: -Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm fuck-

JOEY: =instinctively grabs Jude's hand=

JOHN: - Manages you yell- dad!!! and that's all he gets to do before he's swept away who knows where. -

TEREZI: =she was still on the bridge at the time and yes...yes it was super disorienting. Thank you Jade.=

REDGLARE: -She's in the process of attacking when she disappears. She doesn't have long at all-- maybe she'd hesitate, plead, try something else if she were in a different state, but it already seems hopeless. Dangerous. She disappears before she can get close enough to attack Jade. She'll have to unpack the consequences of that impulse another day, it seems.-

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 26, Get Off the Lawn

[The PARTY TRAIN is a-rolling... and given the sort of situation at and, they've officially reached a time when it's now-or-never. Indeed, the white house lawn-- and much of the DC area-- has been overtaken by massive, colorful circus tents, and BRIGHT, with BRIGHT, SHINING SPOTLIGHTS. Rolling up on this in Jeff's tiny train, it's amazed they aren't run over by what amounts to a media circus-- news vans and camera crews are practically EVERYWHERE, an enormous crowd of people behind velvet ropes and leaning over to watch the small trickle of juggalos entering the circus tents, surrounding the literal circus with a media circus. Despite this, there is no line for entrance to the carnival itself, the dark labrynth of twisting tents and attractions having only a single vendor jamming to horrorcore and a whole heap of INTERVIEWERS looking for a HOT SCOOP.]

[ It's a hell of a scene to look at from a distance. The white house itself isn't even visible beyond the DARK CARNIVAL.]

DAVENFORTH: -Peeps this.- What the shit actually

QIRIN: ... 

QIRIN: I have not yet determined whether a lack of a welcome party is good news or not.

PENNY: yeeeeeeeeEEEEHAW.

ROXANNE: -Euugh, she didnt really mind clowns until this very moment.-

[ Fortunately there are no clouns in IMMEDIATE sight. Just clown-adjascents.]

JEFF: =SWEATING SO MUCH and stays right where he is=

PENNY: -she's made up in clown paint and shit too, rattling her car. she's ready to be rowdy.-

PENNY: -NOT LIKE THEY CAN INFILTRATE REALLY GREAT AFTER BROADCASTING THEMSELVES BUT HEY. MAYBE.-

DEREK: -he's with you, penny... both in attitude and attire.-

KURLOZ: =takes one look around, scrunches up his nose=

[ The current question is: Who is in some kind of disguise, clown makeup or otherwise, and who is not? THE OTHER QUESTION is how close are they getting to the entrance? There is a clear path straight down the middle to the entrance-- with the only landmines being a few reporters and papparazos, and only the occasional fully-garbed Juggalo strides confidently through the entrance.]

RILEY: -this is some bullshit but they have to blend in. And she also refused to stay back by herself. So you win some and you lose some.- holy fuck.

DAVENFORTH: -He's wearing a latex Donald Trump mask. The biggest clown of them all-

RILEY: -DAAAAAAAMN-

ROXANNE: -Most people are getting down with the clown disguise and she is no exception, this is a serious mission despite the smile painted onto her face.-

QIRIN: =She loves you Davenforth, but she can't help but make a face at that mask=

DAVENFORTH: -Well if no one else is getting out, he is. Hello. This is gonna be yuuuuuuuge.-

REPORTER:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P5qbcRAXVk

REPORTER: -This one troll is scampering up for the FIRST and HOTTEST scoop-

REPORTER: We;; HE;;O and WE;COME to this historic occasion!

REPORTER: Wou;d you be wi;;ing to answer a few questions? For AMERICA?

DAVENFORTH: Anything for america of course no one loves america more than me if anyone claims as such theyre lying so many people ask me how can you love america and i tell them america is just so wonderful ill show you how much i love america its just the best

ROXANNE: -Davenforth plz.-

RILEY: -she's gonna lose it at this answer so she has to carefully cover her mouth and not mess up her make-up at the same time. Fucking ridiculous-

DEREK: Can I get a whoop whoop for America?

QIRIN: =She wants all this over with so she can get this horrific layer of oil off her face= QIRIN: Whoop whoop!

REPORTER: We;; A;; give a whoop whoop for America! -Makes sure she's in frame as a tubby cameraman holds up a few recording devices with telekinesis. HE LOOKS INCREDIBLY DISINTERESTED IN THIS WHOLE PROCSES.- REPORTER: Te;; the country how EXCITED you are to be taking part of the judicia; process in the first ever, hands-on pub;ic execution of justice on this FORMER;Y backwards world!

ROXANNE: -Stay strong Riley. She is also hoping off the train.- Whoop, lets go 'Murica!

PENNY: WHOOP WHOOOOOP!!!!

DAVENFORTH: Ill tell you this never again will there be so many whoop whoops the amount of whoop whoops today will just be staggering theyre all going to wonder why so many whoops were not had before and ill tell you the american will whoop again they will whoop like they never did before thank you so much

LIFERA: -she, too, is in clown makeup... and made up to look way more purple than she actually is.- 38D

RILEY: -fuck. - whoop fuckin' whoop.

REPORTER: -she is just plain FLABBERGASTED by this man's charisma-

PENNY: -leans and whispers to Qirin- (whats she mean public execution?)

QIRIN: =has a feeling that some pyropes would not take too kindly to the public execuction of justice of any kind= QIRIN: =just..again= Whoop whoop!

HIGHBLOOD: =Gets his bigass on up out here, picking his fangs=

QIRIN: (It is likely exactly what she means.)

REPORTER: One ;ast question! Are you hoping for a seat on the cabinet? Or are you just here for the exhuberant and divine joy of mass mu-- OH GOOD HEAVENS!

REPORTER: (ARE YOU GETTING HIM IN FRAME? GET HIM IN FRAME, ASSHOLE.)

REPORTER: -the other one pans up a bit to look at the Highblood's BIG OLD FACe.-

HIGHBLOOD: =HE'S A FRESH 600 SWEEPS MAYBE=

DAVENFORTH: Look at my my highblood caste friend over there just look at him look at my purple american friend

REPORTER: Ahahaha! Yes indeed, America! You are seeing it here first and best!

REPORTER: Even dishonored expatriates are eager to win their p;ace in the New America! REPORTER: I'm assuming that you are hoping for a spot on the cabinet, but-- oh!

REPORTER: Any statements you'd ;ike to make?

REPORTER: -HOLDS THE MIC UP TO GHB-

LIFERA: -really close to GHB... she is not comfortable now that the camera is in their direction...-

LIFERA: >38D;;

HIGHBLOOD: =Looks down at this reporter troll= HIGHBLOOD: ...... =leans on down, slowly, covering this tiny fish with his hair probably= HIGHBLOOD: hah HIGHBLOOD: haha...hahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! =Big booming laughter, she don't even need the mic for this= HIGHBLOOD: =straightens up, lifts hand= no further inquiries sis. =strides his ass on=

REPORTER: -CLEARLY UNNERVED AND FORCING A FAKE SMILE-

DAVENFORTH: What an articulate speaker there he goes my clown american friend give it up everybody

REPORTER: ..... (:C

ROXANNE: -Dammn big clown, you go.-

LIFERA: -DOES SOME KIND OF DIMISSIVE HAND SIGN FROM UNDERNEATH THE HAIR. It's about all that can be seen of her as she strolls along-

[ The other seem to be TRYING to get an interview, but the circus itself beckons, and they're all a TEENSY bit intimidated by GHB's presence.]

DEREK: Much clown love from that jolly motherfucker amirite?

DAVENFORTH: -Falls in line with GHB- DAVENFORTH: You alright magilla

PENNY: hell motherfuck yeah my ninja. -leans against Derek with an entire bottle of Faygo.-

HIGHBLOOD: :o) HIGHBLOOD: alls am gonna get right and recalibrated

RILEY: -they're way too good at this-

RILEY: -sticks with lifers tho-

RILEY: -or you know...lifera-

PENNY: -IT'S TWO WHOLE LITERS.-

DAVENFORTH: Im calibrated get me and my bro a big enough distraction and ill get the rest taken care of

ROXANNE: -Shes trailing behind Davenforth to make this a clown entourage.-

[ The ticket taker, too busy jamming to bother stopping them or even explaining anything, could PROBABLY be hassled with a determined effort, but they could also slip right past if they didn't care about this guy's shit. ]

HIGHBLOOD: dones is done and done

HIGHBLOOD: =Would killing him be a determined effort=

[ no man he's pretty easy to kill ]

PENNY: -squeezing past and also quipping at the reporter now- yeah tell yallselves the fams gonna party real hard tonight. HATCHETS HIGH IN THE SKY.

DAVENFORTH: Thank you my clown american friend

LIFERA: -pulls Riley into the hair. join her.-

DEREK: Ill raise my faygo to that juggalette.

RILEY: -OOOOH HAIR TENT-

PENNY: -CACKLES-

RILEY: -it tickles-

DEREK: -CHUGS HIS OWN BOTTLE. its orange obv.-

LIFERA: -whispers to her- (Stick with me. If it gets dangerfish, I'll protect you.)

HIGHBLOOD: =He's a secret meeting place, good yes=

RILEY: (i'm swooning already. take me away.)

[ The carnival itself-- and oh, fuck, this is kinda dizzying. It's not set up like a regular carnival, with lots of games and attractions and flashing lights to attract attention and tokens, but rather, it's decorated with strung lights and smears of blood on the floor. Most of the blood appears to be human blood, and the lighting seems to turn at a dime from dim to blindingly bright. There are TONS of exits from this one circus tent alone-- at least five-- and it's hard to tell where the others lead to. Notes are scrawled on the canvas in blood, but most of them are extolling the virtues of mass murder, or the first few lines of JUGGALO PRAYERS.]

[ On a less severe note, the place is just sorta grody besides that. Like carnival grody.]

RILEY: ...

ROXANNE: -Nasty.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Makes face atthat scripture on the walls.= :o/

DAVENFORTH: -Stretches a little. Adjusts his tie.-

ROXANNE: -Also moves up next to Davenforth.- (Hey wall building homie. plan of route?) ROXANNE: -She ASSUMES he roughly has some sort of plan...please.-

DAVENFORTH: (They fucked this up a lot more than i thought it may take me a little bit to make out a route play along for now)

PENNY: -strides almost drunkenly along with Derek, but it's all just a ruse. She's just trying to seem nonchalant about this whole thing, eyes half-lidded and grinning, but her heart is pounding. This place is fucking weird.-

ROXANNE: (M'kay.) ROXANNE: (Is it also just me or does this place reek like a compost dump?)

RILEY: -you're doin' good lil sis.-

DAVENFORTH: (Welcome to juggalos lil mama)

DAVENFORTH: -Looks for a high point for him to clamber up and gain a better view-

ROXANNE: (Im already ready ta'say goodbye.) -Keeps smiling besides being anxious as fuck.-

[Tent poles, if he wants to shimmy. Once he gets high enough he can cut a hole in the canvas and peep out of it.]

LIFERA: -GIGGLING at Riley for a moment, but just keeps her hand on her arm and quiets again. That blood everywhere... humans are so fragile. She doesn't want anyone to be hurt here.- (I fish I cod!) LIFERA: (It smells like stale stank.)

DAVENFORTH: (Be right back yall) -Already shimmying up a tentpole-

DEREK: -he's got u penny. he's pretty zen himself, but pumped to be here and do this shit finally. pats the sisters shoulder, but guides the pair of them over to davenforth and roxanne so he can eavesdrop on their whispering-- oh but he ascends.-

DEREK: -bobs while he watches this-

PENNY: -that's not conspicuous at all... just fuckin tips up her two liter of faygo and drinks while watching this. this is normal.-

ROXANNE: -Look at him go.- ROXANNE: -Just gonna lean on that pole a little, its totally chill there is nothing suspicious going on here.-

[YOU KNOW HE LOVES TO SHIMMY]

RILEY: (honestly i've been liking the whole mouth breather thing.)

DAVENFORTH: -Shimmy shimmy coco puff. Shimmy shimmy now. Cutting this tent all up, what's he peepin now?-

LIFERA: (You shouldn't talk about your husband like that.) 38)

[The bright light from the Outdoors streams in through the hole he just cut-- and it's kind of a run, sure, but he can see the white house now that he's got a good vantage.]

DEREK: -damn..................... or should he say dwamn-

[There's actually a decent enough route BETWEEN the tents, if he commits it to memory-- leading right to the front door. It seems like the secret service has been co-opted by carnival attractions, though.]

DAVENFORTH: -Slides down the pole on some cirque de soleil shit-

DAVENFORTH: Alright got it its kind of a jog but nothin too bad lot of tents in the way

ROXANNE: -Steps away from it so he has room to get down.- ROXANNE: Sweet.

DAVENFORTH: -Looks at GHB- Everyone ready

PENNY: say the word homie.

RILEY: -she snorts at that comment lifera makes- (oh shit. nice.)

HIGHBLOOD: =Thumbs up and rolls his shoulders=

ROXANNE: Lets fuck shit up.

LIFERA: -glubs softly and nods! wait. peeks out of the hair and then nods!-

DAVENFORTH: -Pushes through the tent into the actual carnival itself and it's hitting him how fucking....CARNIVAL like this shit is. Oh...-

DAVENFORTH: Anybody like carnival games like i mean just for the record just asking for a friend a cheeto dusted friend

[READY OR NOT, here it comes. And by IT i mean the true nature of the Dark Carnival itself; it is where sinners are taken to be TESTED and learn the DARK MORALS of the joker cards. Indeed-- here's one now! The sinner in question is a human, gagged, blindfolded and tied, atanding underneath some kind of strength-tester machine-- the kind where you hit the lever and a big metal thingy flies up to ding a bell. Set up in such a way that after it goes up, it's going to come straight down on this dude's head, and guarded by a four-foot-five troll who is frankly built with terrifying muscles.-

ROBUSTO: YOU THINK YOU ARE AS STRONG AS ROBUSTO???? PROVE YOUR STRENGTH OR DIE LIKE COWARD-MAN WHO TELLS STATE SECRETS TO FOREIGN POWERS.

LIFERA: !!!

PENNY: -oh god yep here they go.....-

DAVENFORTH: -Whispers a reclaimed racial slur under his breath-

RILEY: (anybody tries to fucking do that shit i'll be the one whackin you over the head.)

HIGHBLOOD: =Ants=

ROBUSTO: -HOLDS UP AN ENORMOUS MALLET. It's wooden and heavy.- WHO WILL TAKE ROBUSTO'S CHALLENGE????

DAVENFORTH: And if we say fuck yourself with that righteous noise

DAVENFORTH: Just checkin for a friend

LIFERA: -soft hissing in this hair. She.... starts shuffling closer to Davenforth.- (Go. Keep going.)

DAVENFORTH: (Lif)

RILEY: - fucking striders-

ROBUSTO: -SQUINTS. And twirls his moustache.-

LIFERA: (Now.)

ROXANNE: -Hhgh. This is already another layer of hell, but also Davenforth dont call attention.-

HIGHBLOOD: testin strength...... HIGHBLOOD: =eyeballs Robusto= we can play this game while y'all check shit it :o)

ROXANNE: -Listen to your fish wife.-

LIFERA: -punches Davenforth in the shoulder and laughs-

DAVENFORTH: -Soft marge noise-

ROBUSTO: A-HA! ROBUSTO: FINALLY. ONE WHO IS NOT WEAK AND COWARD WHO FAILS TO WIN GLORIOUS HONOR OF BLOOD PRIZE DEAD MAN SHATTER SKULL.

ROBUSTO: -shoves the mallet in GHB's hand-

LIFERA: T)(IS MOT)(-ERFUCK-ER TOO WIMPY TO DO IT. G-ET OUTTA )(-ER-E.

RILEY: (jesus christ.)

DAVENFORTH: When that beat hits yall -We book it-

DEREK: -jesus CHRIST indeed-

DEREK: -he's ready to book it... sipping his faygo.-

ROBUSTO: -STRENUOUSLY FLEXES-

HIGHBLOOD: =This mallet is a toothpick isn't it? Look at his ham hands... but he takes it. Snrks=

HIGHBLOOD: =Crouches= :o)

LIFERA: -watches GHB carefully-

ROBUSTO: -FLEXES EVEN MORE-

ROBUSTO: ✨💪✨

RILEY: i would prefer not to have someone's blood on me but you know.

HIGHBLOOD: =Bops Robusto like a field mouse. Right on the cranium bro=

ROXANNE: -Ah, yep. There it is.-

DAVENFORTH: Cheese it

PENNY: -WELL JESUS-

ROXANNE: -Time to book it fellas and lady gents.-

RILEY: -OK BYE-

LIFERA: -WHAT DID SHE SAY ABOUT GETTING OUT OF HERE YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE FOR THIS-

DAVENFORTH: -Bolts to the right and rips through the canvas. White house here we come!-

ROBUSTO: -oh MAN he takes a lump for sure. His head is CRACKED loudly and he holds up a finger in SHEER OUTRAGE- ROBUSTO: COWARD WIGGLER STRIKES ROBUSTO INSTEAD OF RUBOSTUS KILLMAN KILLING... ROBUSTING... ROBUSTO: ROBOTS??? ROBUSTO: -he falls over DEAD.-

DEREK: -throws this sugary shit on the dirty ass ground and flash steps after davenforth-

DAVENFORTH: -Babe I'm already gone. Kanye shrug-

HIGHBLOOD: =EYES the others and opens his arms= now now HIGHBLOOD: what else ams i testin?

ROXANNE: -YOU BOYS AND YOUR FLASH STEPING. She cant do that but she can sure sprint like hell after sending a glance to the rest of the group. Good luck guys.-

PENNY: -aaaaAAAHHHHH. SHAKES UP HER FAYGO FURIOUSLY and DUNKS it on the ground. it goes shooting up like a fucking rocket and sprays the crowd-

[The nearby juggalos murmur and mutter something. A few of them SCAMPER OFF, but a small group brandishes a set of hatchets.]

[Apparently this seems to indicate that they'd tie a rope to their dicks and jump off a building, should the mood strike them, but ALSO, that they think they can Totally take the guy that murdered Robusto.]

DAVENFORTH: -Well he don't wanna leave Rox behind. No flash stepping yet, but he's also sprinting around the perimeter of tents. It's hard to breathe in this Trump mask y'all.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Don't let him talk them out of it. There's gonna be a lot of blood back here as he will grab and squish skulls...sans for One. One he'll voodoo and have murderlate their pals.=

ROXANNE: -That is greatly appreciated.-

LIFERA: -grabs Riley's wrist and drags her behind GHB, toward the fucked up strength tester and the human that's tied up. She sure doesn't need to see this, and while that's happening, they could get this guy outta here-

PENNY: -she's just gonna uhhhh. stay outta GHB's way. yeaahhhh-

[I WILL SPARE U THE GORY DETAILS OF HOW DEAD THE GROUP IS. Except for the one guy hollering and raising his hatchet chasing after the other clowns. The others don't think there's anything fucked up about that, though, that just sorta happens sometimes.]

PENNY:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

PENNY: -she's gonna need to get REAL fucked up after this-

HIGHBLOOD: =He's snickering as this happens, what a bunch of idiots. He's covering the ladies=

RILEY: -IS PULL. Looks up at this tied up Guy. SHES PRETTY GOOD AT UNTYING. Except when she isn't. She's going to do her best- okay dude you're going to run as fast as you can outta here.

LIFERA: B-ETT-ER Y-ET. -She unties the gag around the guy's mouth and the blindfold from his eyes, and then pulls out a little container of greasy black paint, smearing his face with it.- 38)

GUY: -wheezes.- th-thank you. Those people a-are... -TRYING NOT TO FOCUS ON THE GORE OVER THERE- GUY: ... GUY: don't eat the funnel cake. -As soon as he's free he BOLTS.-

HIGHBLOOD: yo what >:o/ HIGHBLOOD: how the fuck they fucked up funnel cake... dumb motherfuckers

LIFERA: Glub...

RILEY: no funnel cake over here.

QIRIN: =She doesnt even know how to comment to all of this=

LIFERA: Ocray... ST-EP BACK.

[It seems that this particular tent is cleared, save for some gruesome reminders. There are three other flaps; one leading back where they came from, near the ticket booth, one branching to the left and one branching to the right.]

LIFERA: -motions the other ladeez to get outta the way before doing a little half lean and then KICKING the strength tester to try to knock it down. NO MORE OF THIS.-

[ IT CRASHES.]

[CLONK]

QIRIN: =claps softly= Property damage, hurrah. ^_^

LIFERA: T)(ANKS.

QIRIN: =high five, lif!=

LIFERA: -SLAP-

LIFERA: Where to now?

[would they like to inspect any passages in particular]

[One leading back where they came, one to the right and one to the left.]

[There is the vague sound of music coming from the right... and the vague sound of someone furiously arguing to the left.]

QIRIN: =is is possible to hear what they are arguing about from here?=

[NOPE]

[u would have to get closer, and 'closer' means probably 'through the passage entirely.']

PENNY: -she's already heading toward the left one....-

[aw shit. If she makes it through, she'd see... well, someone who MAY or MAY not be recognizable to her.]

PENNY: -she's DOING IT.-

PENNY: -waves the others over-

[either way, it's the current secretary of state, one Alex Abbiss. He seems to be shouting down a group of juggalos-- some hatchet-wielding and TERRIFIED fellows who probably just saw Robusto get murdered.]

HIGHBLOOD: =Hey what's up hello, I murdered up your friend and now it's your turn to go=

[It is OBVIOUS that this is an important guy, and as they get closer to the man in a bloodstained jersey with a whole rack of vynyl records strapped to his back, they can hear what he's helling about-- how important he is and how NONE of these goddamned posers are gonna be gunning for HIS job, he MADE the ICP, do you HEAR HIM]

[This changes as he hears them enter, and FLINGS a razor-sharp record at them in a fury.]

PENNY: - SH I T-

PENNY: -JUST TRIES TO DUCK-

[she gets... a SMALL haircut. ]

[He's pulling some more records on them. HE'S READY TO TUSSLE.]

PENNY: -THAT MOTHERFUCKER.-

PENNY: -whips out her gun because... well, it's really the only thing she knows how to use, but it's gonna make a lot of noise...-

LIFERA: -leading Riley along after her??-

[The other juggalos seem to have fallen in rank behind him, because shit, okay, MAYBE they just tried to murder him, but they can also get in good with him if they kill these people? Whatever. IT'S A SURE FIRE RUCKUS HAPPENING, THAT'S FOR SURE.]

QIRIN: =oh hell WHY= QIRIN: =raises her dukes! Her spear is noticable enough that it might blow her cover and that would just put prospit in a (more) precarious situation.=

ERIDAN: -some masquerade masked fish is rolling into the scene. Literally rolling in on an actual unicycle somewhere under the flashy cape he's wearing. A relic from a time he used to be proud to wear such a thing.- ERIDAN: -Hey, Penny. He's here and swinging out a LAUNCHER of some kind. They'll find out what it does in the second he fires it.-

PENNY: -THE FUCK???-

[Don't worry boys, clustering up together in a tight group is the BEST kind of tactics.]

[The juggalos all agree with that sentiment.]

LIFERA: -peeks in for this... the fuck-

PENNY: -she agrees with that sentiment, as it happens-

ERIDAN: -Fires the launcher like he's shooting fish in a barrel. In a single swift PCHOO, it explodes in a thick vault of LIQUID NITROGEN right over the juggalos. The chemical will be freezing on impact with their skin.- B/

[oh FUCK. They start to charge as a group, hatchets HIGH, and then they continue to do so, with their hatchets high, in that EXACT position, possibly FOREVER. They are SUPER DUPER FROZEN.]

ERIDAN: -Owwned.-

ERIDAN: so ERIDAN: the others been on their wway huh looks like it -just kinda balancing there. Just another Thursday afternoon.-

PENNY: ....... dude.

LIFERA: Y-ES. You're about on tide.

[By the look of things, YES. This cut rate Fieri-clone has been put to his end; along with a sizable number of juggaspirants.]

ERIDAN: -pockets the rifle. Safe and sound.- alright ERIDAN: yall finishin the job or should wwe keep pressin wwith the dispatchin ERIDAN: it aint goin to end wwith the death a the figureheads wwe ought to be securin a method a escape

LIFERA: CL-EARING T)(-E WAY. Sounds good to me.

[Behind them, there is suddenly the sound of... sizzling grease?]

QIRIN: =is there an alternate weapon she can grab? perhaps from literal cold, dead hands?=

[Hot oil and something being poured into it-- and though he was not visible there before, he is now.]

VENDOR: You look like you could use some

funnel cakes.

PENNY: oh hell no.

[As for weapons, there are SHARP VINYL RECORDS and HATCHETS to choose from Qirin.]

VENDOR:

FREE OF CHARGE.

ERIDAN: -mghhh. He's hungry suddenly, flicking fins in the direction of the sound.- ERIDAN: -taking out a sniper's rifle now, balanced on his unicycle. B[ -

VENDOR: [He holds out the funnel cake.. towards you, specifically, Eridan.]

VENDOR: [It smells... intoxicating. Literally.]

VENDOR: This... is rare supply. We're running low. Haven't had our shipment from scenic niagra falls.

LIFERA: Don't eat that.

VENDOR: But you can eat it.

VENDOR: Carnival food is pure food, son.

VENDOR: Good... pure... food.

ERIDAN: -Nah thanks. He shoots this fucker and his funnel cake.-

VENDOR: -!

VENDOR: -Frying dough pours out of the hole in his head.-

VENDOR: FOOL!

VENDOR: -Pulls out both fry baskets, brandishing the HOT METAL as the inhuman figure staggers, attempting to LUNGE at him despite his... rapidly spilling vital dough.-

ERIDAN: -pedals backwards with finesse. Pew. Pew. Pat. Pat. Yeah, fine, brandish the hot metal. Eridan is swinging the butt of his rifle to combat this oily fuck.-

VENDOR: -GURGLING AND SCREAMING AS HE COLLAPSES INTO A PUDDLE OF YEAST.-

VENDOR: -DEAD-

[Only the hot grease cart remains.]

QIRIN: ......................

ERIDAN: gross ERIDAN: ... ERIDAN: -flicks a lighter on and eyes the hot grease cart.-

QIRIN: =She came back from retrieving the vinyl records because heck, at least it's like throwing knives.= QIRIN: Either they have been altered to a molecular level or they have found a way to make yeast sentient. I am unsure which prospect is the more disturbing.

[It's pretty tricked out, as far as hot grease carts go. It's also full of boiling hot, flammable liquid, which COULD very well be useful.]

ERIDAN: -Damn... true... slowly puts the lighter away.- wwe got ourselvves a bomb

QIRIN: It may very well be the diversion the others require. =She's inspecting the cart further. Does it have wheels for rollin?=

[IT SURE DOES]

QIRIN: =peeps out the tent flap. Anything downhill? Anything important looking that needs burning?=

[Would that be the tent flap back the way they came from, or the next unexplored tent?]

PENNY: ... a bomb?

PENNY: sounds good.

PENNY: what are we blowing?

QIRIN: =the next=

ERIDAN: good question -squints heavily and considers. All of it would be ideal...- somethin thatll draww the majority of wwhos left for a brawwl ERIDAN: that wway provvidin the means to escape for the others ERIDAN: wwhere the shit is that impregnated twwinkie gobbler

[There is something down the way... something that looks... important. Or at least, important enough. She can only get a glimpse, but it's a pretty popular spot, and the flashing light appears to say PRIZES.]

QIRIN: =Well that settles that= QIRIN: The prize booth calls to us. ^_^ QIRIN: Everyone prepared for vandalism and arson?

PENNY: excuse? -stares at Eridan-

ERIDAN: wwell aint she -Really doesn't see anything wrong with his word choice.- you her wward or not

PENNY: yeah maybe. could also be called a twinkie gobbler.

PENNY: prefer Nuthands McMike though.

ERIDAN: -frowns- i disagree she aint done nothin to earn such a title

[WOULD YOU LIKE EVIDENCE ERIDAN]

ERIDAN: -Yeah sure. He's seen worse shit.-

[oh well he doesn't have any actually]

[go back to rigging ur greasebomb]

ERIDAN: -alright. Moves off the unicycle to cover this stupid grease cart with his cape.- wwere the shit wwe takin this

PENNY: -she's talking about herself u fuck-

PENNY: approximately thattaway. -points to where Qirin indicated-

SOME FUCKIN JUGGALO: oh shit i smell the funnel cake dude

[the voice WAFTS from that direction]

[calling in a siren song]

ERIDAN: -mmm better get this cart moving. Wrings out a hankerchief like BLEH and uses it to get a grip on the handle. Now pushes it along.- ERIDAN: this reeks somethin' awwful

QIRIN: =She smoothly saunters out to the sound of Some Fuckin Juggalo to greet them as the others try workin the cart'=

[It does... like grease, but also some sinister chemicals. And sinister jujus.]

[THE JUGGALO MOSTLY JUST WANTS FUNNEL CAKES.]

[But he is at least blocked from what is to come.]

ERIDAN: -wheels this cart outtie, definitely holding his breath from BREATHING IN THE CHEMICALS. Hello prize booth.-

[There's all kinds of prizes on display: Axes, special stardust, clown facepaint. Essentials.]

[Seems like they're paying in blood tokens, which are, in fact, human ears. Probably from people less lucky than the guy they rescued.]

LIFERA: -She's following as well, ready to punch a clown if necessary.-

PENNY: ... -can she grab one of those axes? are there people around??-

[THERE ARE. Lots of people, actually. Trying to get their prizes. Some of them are now trying to get funnel cakes.]

ERIDAN: -The funnel cake cart is TARPED by cape, you idiots. Can you not SEE.-

[THEY CAN SMELL IT YOU BOGARD]

[BOGART?]

[WHATEVER]

QIRIN: Helllllloooo there! =She does block his way, cocking her hip as she greets the juggalo cheerily!= A miraculous evening to you!

SOME FUCKIN JUGGALO: YEAH POPPIN HOT SHIT NINJETTE WHERES THE DOUGH AT????

PENNY: -aUGH-

QIRIN: Aw man, the line's all clogged up! Some eighth grade history class came for their class trip! Dough guy has gotta feed the next generation, you know what I mean? Ahahahaha!

[The juggalo has NO idea what this fresh pimpin ninjette is going on about. But at least that buys them some room and some time to move the thing.]

RILEY: -she wandered a little too far and got lost... Suddenly panting next to them- holy shit you would not believe-- oh my god what NOW?

ERIDAN: havve at it -whirls the cape off the cart and throws it over Riley.- keep that on wwould you ERIDAN: its durable the kind to ride out lightnin storms through

RILEY: -catches it. Thank you ace reflexes. She puts it on- i'm such a badass.

QIRIN: =are they even done yet? She's waiting for BOOM!= So...while we wait for Boogie Woogie Wu to scare off the tiny children, why do we not exchange pleasantries on this fresh turf?

JUGGALO: :o/

QIRIN: What do you favor? Halls of Illusion or House of Horrors?

JUGGALO: -SLOWLY REATCHING FOR HIS HATCHET-

RILEY: -penny do I need to get my gun-

ERIDAN: -turns his back to riley in a dramatic fashion and arms himself with an assault rifle. All eyes on him, folks.- alright you insatiable GREASE CLOUT FUCKS CLEAR THE MOTHERFUCKIN PATH ERIDAN: -and promptly bombkicks the cart and the whole trap of grease into the crowd.-

MOVVE I SAID

QIRIN: Ah, I see you have a hatchet. You should never run with one...unless you're

running with a hatchet,

amirite? QIRIN: ;)

JUGGALO: -oh shit.- JUGGALOS: -OH SHIT-

[They suddenly bolt out of the way of the HOT GREASE CART-

RILEY: -this is suddenly the most exciting shit she's seen in a while. Gun time.- B)

ERIDAN: -taking this time to line gallons of sparkle fish gasoline by the display stands. Marching like the grimest of military marches. They only really have one shot at this. His glasses glint menacingly at the crowd.- STRIDER -bares fangs- ERIDAN: LETS BLOWW THIS TENTED SHITSTAIN OF A FESTIVVAL

QIRIN: =still distracting this one juggalo if he isn't distracted already. She's going to rinse her mouth with salf water after this=

[HE IS DISTRACTED WITH RUNNING FROM THE EMINENT FIRE]

QIRIN: =Awesome.= QIRIN: =she quickly joins everyone else, more than gently urging everyone back. She has a feeling this will be a fireball.=

RILEY: -WHERE IS PENNY SHES NOT GONNA LEAVE HER-

ERIDAN: -God damn it, STRIDER.-

ERIDAN: -You're back at being the twwinkie gobbler.-

RILEY: -so....you're saying I was promoted? SHES NOT LEAVIN WITHOUT PENNY-

PENNY: -SHE'S COMING SHIT-

RILEY: -YOU BETTER OR IMGONNA DRAG YOUR ASS OUTTA HERE-

LIFERA: -also just gonna keep distance from this shit-

ERIDAN: -brandishing the assault rifle at the crowd. Now that everything is in order, Eridan whirls on the prize tent and begins peppering the gasoline tanks with gunfire. Hasta la vista you salted juggalo fucks.-

JODIE: - She's been GHOSTING away from the main group in full aggrobat regalia, even throwing in a cartwheel or two. yup she totes mgoats belongs here. she's looking for a get away vehicle of some kind. -

RILEY: -LETS GO-

[THAT IS A KABOOM]

[The prize stand goes up in flames. Clown paint and stardust? Flammable.]

[The gasoline tanks goes up in flames. The tent itself? IT IS ON FIRE YOU BET YOUR ASS]

[The smoke is choking but it's spreading WAY too quick across the whole dang long.]

[lawn]

[whatever]

ERIDAN: - 🔥🔥🔥 -

JODIE: - well it looks like things are going well over there. -

[THAT LONG LAWN.]

QIRIN: =shoving people in the away direction. Forgive her lack of being gentle, but if it's spreading, and people are lagging, she'll resort to hupping em under an arm and toting them away.=

JODIE: - Let's see... something not on fire... not on fire... -

[There is a BEAUTIFUL convertible that-- no wait it's on fire. And it was a raffle prize anyways.]

[Looks like the ice cream truck isn't on fire. Don't eat the ice cream though.]

JODIE: - That'll work. She sneaks up and checks the windows to make sure it's empty. She can't be sure about the back though, she'll need to. open it up. Scurries-

ERIDAN: -holding his goddamn breath in all this. Seadweller skills activate. Fuck, his gills are going to burn something fierce in all this smoke.- ERIDAN: -SHOVING HIS SOLDIERS, GO GO GO GO GO. Messaging Jeff and the others stationed outside the premises. There's no going back to the campus after this.-

LIFERA: -DON'T YOU SHOVE ME BOI-

ERIDAN: -THEN GET IN THE ICE CREAM TRUCK QUEENIE. CHRIST.-

RILEY: -SORRY BOUT THE SMOKE RYAN IM TRYIN OVER HERE-

ERIDAN: -At least she has the cape and won't get burned by ash.-

QIRIN: =Helping Riley in the van. She's preggers with an energy consumer, after all.=

JODIE: -KEYS? IF NOT ROLL TO HOT WIRE. This takes her back to 6th grade. -

RILEY: -thanks qirin you are a gem-

ERIDAN: -balancing himself out in the back, ready to defend with one arm on his rifle. HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSES.-

LIFERA: -just kinda joins Eridan there, just in case-

PENNY: -hops up front with Jodie- lets get this shit rollin huh??

QIRIN: ^_^

JODIE: -She's managed to get it WORKING. Ice cream truck noises-

ERIDAN: -side eyes the juggalo ex-empress. Has another moment of disconnecting surrealism.-

[Broom broom. She's in her mum's car.]

LIFERA: 38D

JODIE: bet your sweet ass. everybody in? -

RILEY: yeah! floor it!

ERIDAN: -Still remains... the sound of silence...-

JODIE: haha... ha.... - FLOORS IT. TOWARDS THE WHITEHOUSE. This is her life. -

JODIE: - Not the worst thing she's done with an ice cream truck but at least the worst thing she's done on the white house lawn.-

RILEY: -HOLDING ONTO THE NEAREST PERSON FOR BALANCE-

QIRIN: =It's okay, she's sturdy=

[Once the twins and Roxanne are SECURED, the getaway ice cream truck is now Minnesota bound. For everyone's safety, it's best not to hide out anywhere near here... The campus had been evacuated after the concert, anyway. Just to be safe.]

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 3

TAKODA: -they're all fueled up again and he's back to driving, but he's found another place for them to stop while he tries to figure out the best route to minnesota. he's noticed that a lot of major highways are blocked off by the military, so... it's probably best to avoid those. even if the condesce wants to toy with them as she is, there's no way of predicting anyone else's behavior.-

DEREK: -meanwhile, he's hovering around his brother. takes a seat next to him wherever he's at.- Hey.

DAVENFORTH: -He's been sitting here, thinking too much. Help him. At least his brother is here.- Sup

DEREK: ... I dunno about you but Ive been thinkin a lot about the news.

DAVENFORTH: Nah i havent thought about it even once in fact id forgotten about it entirely

DEREK: Yeah ok. 

DEREK: So whats your plan? I know youve got one.

PENNY: -slides closer from like two seats away- what news?

DAVENFORTH: What do you mean are you really asking me if im a bad enough dude to assassinate the presidents

DAVENFORTH: Because thats not even on the table look at every card and lo and behold it aint there conveniently missing like the last piece of the puzzle

DEREK: ... 

DEREK: -looks at penny- Dual juggalo presidents.

PENNY: ... -snrk- 

PENNY: yall just found out that happened?

DAVENFORTH: Yeah

DEREK: Cant say Ive had much opportunity to keep on top of all the bullshit goin down here.

PENNY: hoo boy well. 

PENNY: welcome to the new United States of Whatever.

RILEY: -she was dead asleep, and suddenly, she wakes up. sleeping on a party bus is great. she stretches a little before noticing that penny is talking to Derek and davenforth, but it's hard to know if it's a step forward or backward. which is why she's conveniently pretending to not pay attention but in reality is intensely eavesdropping-

DAVENFORTH: This is my united states of whatever

PENNY: -she still hasn't quite figured out that Derek is her Boy. she's been avoiding looking at Riley a little too much.- 

PENNY: and then up comes Zafo and Im like yo Zafo whats up hes like nothin and Im like thats cool.

PENNY: ok but really.

PENNY: the whole things a joke and everybody knows it.

PENNY: but not even a good one.

DAVENFORTH: Pretty dangerous joke

DAVENFORTH: Your new buddy back there finds their very existence offensive

PENNY: yeah well Im more scared of what were doing right now than the clowns sitting in the White House.

PENNY: literal clowns.

DAVENFORTH: Those clowns are a lot more dangerous than you think

RILEY: -why does jodie love the clowns so much-

PENNY: Im a lot more dangerous than they think.

PENNY: theyre just human anyway.

DAVENFORTH: Ill let you fight em then

DEREK: Yeah but. Humans appointed by the queen bee bitch herself no doubt. DEREK: Clearly theyre influencin the populous into a compliant lifestyle under her rule.

DAVENFORTH: Anyway i think we should make a pit stop on the way to minnesota

DAVENFORTH: Let condy were coming

PENNY: oh sure. PENNY: Id love to punch a juggalo in the dick.

DAVENFORTH: Well

DAVENFORTH: Thats good to hear

TAKODA: -glances back at them- UM... NOT TO EAVESDROP, BUT 1 TH1NK WE M1GHT HAVE TO PASS THROUGH D.C. ANYWAY... MOST OF THE H1GHWAYS ARE BLOCKED... ER. THERE ARE TOLLS, BUT, 1'VE BEEN AFRA1D TO... SEE WHAT 1T 1S THEY'RE CHARG1NG... TAKODA: BUT WE ARE CLOSE TO THE CAP1TAL... 1 GUESS WE M1GHT AS WELL... STOP THERE... -doesn't seem keen on the idea though-

HIGHBLOOD: to eavesdrop, weren't like it wasn't gonna already get up and goin on, bein in the middle of that route makes shit easier =Dueces from the back=

PENNY: WOOOOOO!!!!

DAVENFORTH: Kill the figureheads and send the heart a message

DAVENFORTH: She can be touched

PENNY: fuck troll booths GO JOHN WILKES BOOTH.

RILEY: -done with eavesdropping apparently- are we assassins now?

MAYOR: -produces a burger King crown and stomps on it on the floor. NO MASTERS. NO KINGS.-

DEREK: Lil dude knows whats up.

PENNY: YEEAAHHH BOIII.

DEREK: -to be fair riley some of us here have always been assassins.-

DAVENFORTH: -Sweats-

RILEY: -WELL I HAVENT-

QIRIN: =she has almost been assassinated several dozen times. does that count as experience?=

RILEY: -aside from assassinating the abstract concepts of family-

PENNY: -YOU DID SUCCEED AT THAT-

QIRIN: =ladies=

PENNY: so whats the plan? how are we doing it?

RILEY: anarchy.

HIGHBLOOD: you'll find the how's always changin sis HIGHBLOOD: best to do it, get it done cause ain't no event can be planned down

DAVENFORTH: Especially not with clowns in the mix

DAVENFORTH: Trust me we got this

PENNY: so were driving the party bus into the White House. got it.

TAKODA: (UHH...)

HIGHBLOOD: hell yeah

DAVENFORTH: Not quite but close

TAKODA: (OH... THAT'S A REL1EF... PROBABLY?)

RILEY: but still with a bang.

TAKODA: ST1LL... 1T WOULD PROBABLY BE ADV1SABLE, 1F WE HAD SOME K1ND OF PLAN, BEFORE WE ROLLED 1NTO THE CAP1TAL... -fidgets nervously-

RILEY: no plan. everyone for themselves. if our plans contradict each other's and we all die, oh well.

HIGHBLOOD: amen sis, everybody's gotta go sometime

RILEY: -oh my god he's being serious-

HIGHBLOOD: :o)

TAKODA: ...

RILEY: that is not actually what i think we should do.

RILEY: just putting that out there.

HIGHBLOOD: =Is he? Who knows= here i was under some mass assumption that the ones all up without alla that gumption and fight experience was gonna leap they asses into the fray wills n nills flung about

DEREK: -snickers. oops.-

RILEY: -unimpressed face at derek-

DEREK: -love u...-

RILEY: -UH HUH-

DEREK: -just winks-

RILEY: -acts like she's pushing her hair out of her face but she is only using her middle finger-

DAVENFORTH: I could probably get in easy enough by myself

DAVENFORTH: Doubt the security is much of anything

HIGHBLOOD: =sNRK, they really aren't much of anything he's sure=

RILEY: don't play the hero. -THIS AINT OVERWATCH AND YOU ARE NOT A BAD GENJI-

DAVENFORTH: Hardly playing hero

RILEY: then who's gonna be your backup?

DEREK: That would be me.

RILEY: then who's going to be YOUR back up?

DAVENFORTH: We got each others backs thats three sixty coverage

DAVENFORTH: We could take molly hes rowdy enough -That's you ghb-

HIGHBLOOD: i was already headed there but i could leave a trail for y'all :oP =eats nachos at=

PENNY: alright well I call dibs on the getaway bus.

RILEY: can we make sure my kid has a dad and an uncle and a...big clown guy by the time we leave D.C.? no stupid reckless shit.

DEREK: Baby please when have I ever been reckless?

PENNY: -side eyes-.........

PENNY: kid?

HIGHBLOOD: =eats these nachos and watches this=

RILEY: all the fucking time. -glances at penny- yeah. kid.

DEREK: --

DAVENFORTH: Pretty sure lif would kill me if i died

PENNY: -she's real quiet now, staring at the floor of the bus.-

RILEY: hilarious. -she notices penny's demeanor change and isn't quite sure why, but figuring out her sister now isn't as easy it was when sadness went away with hugs and singing made her happy-

PENNY: -She's working her jaw and tapping her foot as the seconds and the minutes go by, and then before long she hops up and rushes to the little bus bathroom, clanging the door shut behind her.-

DEREK: -watches her storm off- ... -looks back at riley-

RILEY: -also watches- well, shit.

DAVENFORTH: Damn

ROXANNE: -With the sound of the bus bathroom door shutting she starts to wake up from her nap in the back of the bus. Why people gotta be noisy.-

LIFERA: -probably snuggled up to Roxanne too. It's a cuddle nap party in the back of the bus.-

ROXANNE: -Sits up some more only to have the donuts GHB apparently stacked on her head while she was out topple onto her lap.- ........... -blinks at them.-

ROXANNE: -Also heck, fish queen is adorable, shes taking care not to wake her as she sits up and quietly stretches.-

HIGHBLOOD: =In which case Lifera has donuts on her horns=

ROXANNE: -That... is amusing.- ROXANNE: -Okay time to stretch her legs, she carefully gets up from the back of the bus snuggle pile and moves herself forward towards the rest of the awake people.- ROXANNE: -Sits and dusts donut crumbs off herself.- So. Miss anything interestin'?

DEREK: Only that were gonna storm the white house and assassinate the presidents.

ROXANNE: ....Are we bein' serious or not in saying that?

RILEY: -her mind's a little elsewhere and she keeps having to focus on not looking at the bathroom door.-

ROXANNE: -Maybe Riley needs a nap. Naps are pretty relaxing. Just look how calm Roxanne is right now.-

RILEY: -NOBODY ASKED YOU ROXANNE!!!!!!-

DEREK: I cant believe yall are accusing me left and right of taking such serious subjects lightly. Unbelievable.

ROXANNE: Thats not technically an answer.

ROXANNE: Just want to be clear on whatever plan people are makin' up when im snoozing.

RILEY: baseless accusations. -she's gonna move next to Derek because too many feelings about family right now.-

ROXANNE: -Props her feet up on the empty seat next to her.-

DEREK: -wraps an arm around riley. relax, babe.- For real though thats the plan. DEREK: Were right on the Capitals doorstep. In the middle of a war. The Condesce thinks she can do whatever the fuck she wants with any idiot working under her. DEREK: Might as well send her a message.

RILEY: -leans against him.- they wanna fuck shit up.

ROXANNE: -Mmmmm, she certainly feels conflict over this idea. On one hand, earth is her home and damn right shes all for getting rid of this clown presidency bullshit. However, her biggest priority is to find and get back to her loved ones asap...- 

ROXANNE: I get the sentiment.

ROXANNE: You make it sure sound easy though.

DAVENFORTH: Its just juggalos how hard could it be

ROXANNE:

President

juggalos. Even Trump had protection.

DEREK: Yeah but Derek and Davenforth Strider werent alive back then. -this cocky motherfucker-

ROXANNE: -He is the most cocky.- ROXANNE: Mmmhm.

DEREK: -more winking-

ROXANNE: -Manboy please.-

JODIE: -burps-

ROXANNE: -Side eyes Jodie at the burp.-

JODIE: scuzie.

HIGHBLOOD: blame it on the bubbly sis =he's probably shared faygo with her=

JODIE: i thought y'all would be more anxious to reunite with yer kid.

ROXANNE: I sure am.

ROXANNE: No offense to porrim but my skin has been crawlin' knowin russet is on the ship without at least one of us.

QIRIN: =has she been pacing? yup=

JODIE: sorry...kids.

DAVENFORTH: -Sighs-

RILEY: we are all very far apart i think so... i'm not sure this detour will take away much time at all.

JODIE: yeah. 'caus eoverthrowin the government is really just a pit stop.

ROXANNE: It's goin' to take more time them going straight there.

ROXANNE: Also there is the whole. 

ROXANNE: I dunno' chance of dying?

DAVENFORTH: Jinjin is in good hands besides what were doin is gonna help make a better place for them to grow up

JODIE: do you really think everythin is gonna work out exactly as you plan it to. -just staring flatly-

DEREK: Yep.

ROXANNE: -She's with you Jodie.-

JODIE: i mean you're the ninja's not me.

RILEY: ain't dave in alaska? and dirk is in the black hole of texas.

JODIE: 'sides it hought you all were apart of a crew but i don't see you askin permission.

DAVENFORTH: Im real bad at doing that

ROXANNE: Wow the confidence is unreal. -She's a little salty that Derek isn't more anxious to get back to his kids.-

DAVENFORTH: Ask my nephew

JODIE: sounds like arrogant, poorly planned bs.

JODIE: this is just a testosterone-fest.

JODIE: -snorts-

DAVENFORTH: No this is about sending a fucking message

JODIE: don't try to make it seem all noble. at lesat be honest. haha.

DEREK: -naturally he's anxious to see them, but he's with his brother here...-

RILEY: -watches jodie-

ROXANNE: -Stand up to your brother-

DEREK: -why would he stand up to him when he agrees with him??-

HIGHBLOOD: =Plays tense, appropriate music for the bickering humans. Tramatic muffled trumpet softly in the bg=

DAVENFORTH: This is about telling her that were not standing for this bullshit she knows were coming but shes gonna know were coming with a goddamn vengeance im not gonna let my daughter grow up in the grips of a galaxy that despises her fuckin existence and im damn sure not gonna let her live with the same bullshit ive gone through

JODIE: -sad trombone would be more fitting in her opinion-

DAVENFORTH: If youve got a problem youre welcome to walk

JODIE: i'm just sayin, you can't go around claiming this is the best plan for everyone. it's just the best plan for yer ego.

JODIE: i ain't going anywhere.

JODIE: i don't have any special powers. and i ain't got no leg to stand on when it comes to decision making. i'm barely a crew member.

ROXANNE: Im siding with Jodie on this. ROXANNE: Im really all for taking the ax to this new government, but we've got other issues to deal with first.

ROXANNE: We can meet up with everyone else and regroup an attack later.

DAVENFORTH: You can go too i dont give a shit

ROXANNE: Right now we are spread thin, with no back up, no intell. And like hell you two are doin' it on your own.

JODIE: -just snort laughs.-

JODIE: well, there wasn't no harm in trying. -JUST CHINHANDING.-

DAVENFORTH: Im not askin for backup and im not asking you to be alright with it ill go it alone if i goddamn have to but im not just gonna let this woman have her way with earth like she has every other planet

DAVENFORTH: Shes fucking playing us

DAVENFORTH: Weve lost too much we hold dear

DAVENFORTH: Its her fucking turn

ROXANNE: -Stares straight at Derek like "Can you believe this??"-

JODIE: -shrugalugs at riley and then just sprawls over the bus seat again.-

DEREK: -sorry ro...- We gotta pass through DC regardless so. 

DEREK: Maybe yall dont wanna go with us but aint nothin gonna stop me and him from trying.

QIRIN: | )

ROXANNE: -STARES HARDER.-

DAVENFORTH: Just drop us off fuck it

ROXANNE: Derek. You got one infant girl on a ship hundreds of miles away. ROXANNE: And another unborn baby sittin' right next to you.

ROXANNE: ...Are you actually bein' serious right now???

ROXANNE: You can be as confident as you want but you know going through with that plan means you might Die right?

DAVENFORTH: Third times the charm -Scoffs-

JODIE: if you can't convince em not to do it, you should try to minimize the damage.

QIRIN: >_> =what did u say=

DAVENFORTH: -YOU HEARD HIM-

RILEY: -she doesn't know exactly what to say here. she considers herself stuck either way. There's no winner here. Some of the most stubborn people she knows are in this bus. she sighs, rubbing her own neck-

DEREK: -stfu dave u ain't dying.-

JODIE: -looking at Roxanne- you're a smart lady arentcha. they'd have a better chance of survivin if you helped.

QIRIN: Is the term not "three strikes, you are out"?

ROXANNE: -Side eyes Jodie even more.- Of course im helpin' if he goes through with this stupid plan.

JODIE: cool beans.

DEREK: -scoffs a little. incredible...- 

DEREK: Well yeah Im goin through with it.

ROXANNE: Maybe hopefully he'll realize how crazy this is if both of Russet's parents are at risk--

ROXANNE: -YOU ARE REALLY TESTING HER DEREK.-

RILEY: -while they're talking, she moves Derek's arm off of her and walks off where she sits in the back-

ROXANNE: -Her eyes follow Riley, shes pretty miffed she didn't say anything in this argument.-

JODIE: -she's also judging riley for this tbh-

JODIE: -but she's already accepted her fate. she's doing all she can to help, at least for jamie's sake.-

DAVENFORTH: -He's quiet. Thinking about his two daughters. How condy's reign would mean their literal deaths.-

QIRIN: =She's thinking utter subjugation and ruin of her people=

QIRIN: =though both are not pretty thoughts=

RILEY: -she thinking about history repeating itself and how truly fucked they'll all be this time-

DAVENFORTH: -But he's also thinking about Beforus, Europa, the people here on Earth. How much would it mean to end the figureheads of their subjugation. Would it spur them on to fight? Would Condy's grasp on Earth slip even a little bit?-

JODIE: -She's thinking about how aginst this James would be.-

JODIE: -Sorry charlie!-

JODIE: -If somebody stronger was here in her eplace.-

RILEY: -she wasn't thinking about the consequences much before. but where the hell is she going to have to wait around while all this happens?-

DAVENFORTH: I think everyone who doesnt want in should continue to minnesota

RILEY: -from the back, a little irritated- and wait?

JODIE: no. i'm gonna help. -SPITEFUL-

JODIE: -maybe you get to do this, but she's not going to let you HAVE this-

DAVENFORTH: Thats your choice

DAVENFORTH: You just gonna wait in dc riley

JODIE: -She's liking Davenforth less and less all the time. Stupid jerk.-

RILEY: i don't fucking know. i sure as hell ain't going out of state away from you three while you try to pull this off.

DAVENFORTH: -It's fine he's used to it-

RILEY: i don't want to leave anybody behind.

DAVENFORTH: I respect that

DAVENFORTH: I dont want yall in danger for somethin you didnt sign up for i aint forcin that on anyone but im doin this

ROXANNE: Do you honestly think you would be doing it alone. Not everyone on this bus is okay with letting some of us go on a possible suicide mission.

DAVENFORTH: You should know me by now ro

JODIE: -Snorts.- so charitable.

RILEY: look, if i didn't have a tiny person inside of me, then i'd jump in and help.

ROXANNE: Guess I thought I did. -She shrugs.- 

ROXANNE: Im doin' it with you two, but im not happy 'bout it. Actually Im pretty pissed. 

ROXANNE: We do live through this I'm kicking your asses myself after we get back to the ship.

QIRIN: =clears her throat after a very long time of being quiet= I would like to hear more of this plan of yours if you or...we are to go through with this.

DAVENFORTH: Everyones kicking my ass after this one probably

TAKODA: -all these bad vibes... he's just going to go back to driving since they uh... have a plan now, he guesses. he's mostly uneasy because he knows, as a part of the resistance, they should take an opportunity as it's presented to them...-

RILEY: -rubbing her forehead-

DEREK: -his guilt isn't obvious, but it's definitely there. he doesn't want to endanger anybody here, and it ain't as if he wants to orphan any of his kids, but... sometimes you gotta follow your gut. he's just keeping quiet for now.-

RILEY: -she puts her hood of the jacket she's wearing up and turns so that she's watching everything pass by, damn hormones and emotions making her eyes all watery-

JODIE: -drinks-

RILEY: -IF ONLY SHE COULD-

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 2

DAVENFORTH: -Here they are, on the road. The trees wiz by as Takoda rolls them along. Davenforth is awake right now, watching the scenery and trying to figure out exactly what the fuck is going on while a cold fish cuddles and snoozes on while being covered in various warming apparel-

MAYOR: -chewing on a delicious seat-

HIGHBLOOD: =The warm smell of a hot, fresh banana cream pie slowly seeps from the back=

RILEY: -she awakens to the smell of banana cream pie, opening her eyes from a snoring and drooling deep sleep against derek. she sits up and tiredly looks around for the source-

HIGHBLOOD: =its him, or rather the pie on the little table he's got propped up over his lap. A bowl of sliced bananas next to it, he lays the slices gently on the whipped surface of the pie=

DAVENFORTH: -Grumbles something about "clown magic" -

QIRIN: =Softest of tummy gurgles.=

QIRIN: =Gently places a hand over her own face.=

MAYOR: -all you SUCKERS can get hungry over pies if you want. It's not even green?-

HIGHBLOOD: =he might have green pies, who knows=

DAVENFORTH: -He really wouldn't recommend eating a juggalo party bus seat. Do you know what's been on these things?-

PENNY: -wakes up next to the mayor and groaaans. She is not feeling too hot right now. Also reaches over and tries to push the Mayor away from his seat eating.- dude no thats so gnarly.

DAVENFORTH: Marinated in sex sweat and faygo

GAIZKA: =Sleeping Meditating under a pile of those fuzzy rainbow robes. Legs kickied up against the side wall of the bus. Flicks an ear.= GAIZKA: only MoThErFuCkInG marinade WhAt will Do. =Tired bemused mumbling.=

QIRIN: Ugghhghghg

HIGHBLOOD: =Gaizka better be in the back with him= amen on that shit usual but nastyass blaspheme soaked up in it my motherfucker

DAVENFORTH: Still salty about that huh

DAVENFORTH: You know its not a religion on earth its more of a cult

DAVENFORTH: One condy probably brought here

MAYOR: ? -offers a handful of gross chair stuffing to penny-

HIGHBLOOD: =quirks eyebrow= .... one ought have words and extremities for her if that so be the realness, ain't too farfetched

GAIZKA: =If the back is where one has room for two 9 feet+ clowns then in the back he is. He hums.= stray souls in NeEd of some GuIdIn' AsSiSt or so it go. be So HiThEr, DiThEr or in the UnBrEaThAbLe.

DAVENFORTH: Do either of you know how a magnet works

HIGHBLOOD: in the unbreathable gaiz, they already been tainted =Shows finished banana cream pie to Davenforth, he will pie you=

PENNY: ... bro no. -nudges Mayor's hand away-

MAYOR: -Picky eaters... he offers a green crayon from inside of his tattered rags. U NEED TO EAT. sustain your internal skeleton.-

LIFERA: -she's only vaguely awake, wanting very much to hibernate a bit, but fins flick and she peers up around Dave's shoulder to look back at Gaizka.- ... -Grumpy glub.-

DAVENFORTH: -Answer the question. Also he will eat that entire pie-

GAIZKA: =Shrugs a shoulder underneath the pile.= if so a HoLy BrOtHeR pReAcH. =You do you man. Everyone just feel yourselves.= GAIZKA: magnets got tHeM mAgNeTiC aEsThEtIc AtTrAcT themselves some FrEnEtiC.

DAVENFORTH: -This is why he likes you Gaizka-

PENNY: bro........... PENNY: hey big guy are you sharing that pie? I think this dude needs it more than anybody.

MAYOR: -EXCUSE-

DAVENFORTH: Thats just how he eats

PENNY: Im gonna call bullshit on the whole concept of eating then.

HIGHBLOOD: =reaches a long arm to put a potholder on Riley's head. Then balance the pie on it, assembles another one while putting a whole plate of corn muffins with honey glaze on the Gaizka pile= motherfucker seem mightily content

GAIZKA: =Shakes his head out of the pile to peer at the muffins placed upon him. He's just gonna help himself, thanks brosef.= GAIZKA: =Holds a muffin up in Lifera's direction and tilts his head quizzingly. Why the grumpy glubs? Have a muffin.=

DAVENFORTH: -Trying his best to keep Lifera as warm as possible.-

RILEY: -keeps completely still- is there a pie on my head or am i still asleep?

LIFERA: ... -Smiles a little and takes the muffin. Bites it in half in one sharp slice of teeth and offers some to Davenforth.-

DAVENFORTH: (Nah you go ahead baybe im good)

RILEY: -takes the whole thing off her head and DIGS IN-

RILEY: -SHE IS HUNGRY-

GAIZKA: =Takes the opportunity to dump some of the rainbow robes on Lifera and Davenforth since he's getting up now apparently.= :o)

DAVENFORTH: -Gdi-

GAIZKA: AiN't any proper LoVeBiRdInG nest without SoMe FuZzIeS. =He got you homies.= ;o)

LIFERA: -SWALLOWS MUFFIN and snrks.- T)(ANKS seaweedie. -shh... we're married.-

DAVENFORTH: -Ceremony date is pending-

LIFERA: -not us me and Gaizka?? SHEESH.-

LIFERA: 3;*

DAVENFORTH: -Wasted-

GAIZKA: =They can all get married and become goat farmers in the alps. He gives Lifera a lopsided grin.= any ol' time AnGeLfIsH.

TAKODA: -still driving- }8) -he's smiling, wide eyed and trying to stay awake.-

LIFERA: -soft glubs... she loves this clownfish. Speaking of love and this clownfish, she glances over at their driver.- Are you still ocray up there, Takoda?

DAVENFORTH: You want me to take over koda

TAKODA: ... TAKODA: THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE W1SE, 1F WE SW1TCHED...

DAVENFORTH: Get some rest buddy -Smooches Lifs head and gets up to head up front-

TAKODA: -pulls off to the side of the road at the first opportunity-

GAIZKA: =Looks over Liffy while she glances away. Does her hair need a brushin'..?=

DAVENFORTH: -He is the captain now, and he takes a seat, getting them moving again. Where even are they headed? We just don't know, but it would probably be wise to stop at a gas station soon-

QIRIN: =they can always grab a hose and steal gas=

QIRIN: =she was a teenager, once=

GAIZKA: =One does not simply stop being a teenager.=

TAKODA: -wanders towards the back with the clowns and finds himself a seat. he should sleep but... now that he's not distracted by driving his thoughts are racing. darn it.-

GAIZKA: =Welcome to Clowntown. Have a rainbow robe. He drapes it around Takoda's shoulders while humming. Strategically sings out some of the lyrics lowkey.= (can't you see, you're my delight,) =Hum hum.= (just feel like, i won't get you, out of my mind.) =What's up here come dat thought and it's gay as hell.=

TAKODA: -geez... he's still not used to being spoiled with affection like this.- HEHEHE... THANK YOU...

GAIZKA: ;o)c GAIZKA: you feel on PeAcHy KeEn, BrOtHeR? been up on them WhEeLs for LoNg PaSs.

TAKODA: 1'M F1NE... JUST T1RED, 1S ALL. BUT ALSO, RESTLESS?

GAIZKA: yeah? how you ReCkOn that NoIsE AlLs up work? need HiM some PaCiN' or be ThEm ReStLeSs NoTeS of the MiNdSpAcE?

LIFERA: -her hair always needs brushing and is just past her shoulders now... it grows fast. She's spying on those two now, and maybe sliding closer. Lend her your warmth and your cuteness.-

LIFERA: 38)

TAKODA: 1T'S, UH, 1N THE HEAD, MOSTLY... -notices lifera APPROACHING- TAKODA: ... H1.

GAIZKA: seem none act keep SuChIn ThOuGhT FlOw WaNdErInGs at bay. =Sees Lifera slide n scoot on over, and thus lifts one of his big barrel arms. He's big enough for everyone to lend warmth to.=

GAIZKA: and this HoMeTtE? got just them BoD wAnDeRs or MiNd Be AlL iNcLuSiVe?

LIFERA: -squirms her round little self under his arm and snugs close, sighing.- Oh, I'm all thought out, I'm shore. My little ones are taken care of...

LIFERA: -And she's pretty prepared to throw herself into any oncoming frays, swords, bullets, etcetera. She doesn't really need to think much for that.-

GAIZKA: =Lowers his arm to wrap around her once she's snug like a bug in a rug.= AlLs them LiL ThOuGhTwAvEs done up and gone with themselves on the MoThErFuCkInG breeze. i feel you SiStEr.

DAVENFORTH: -Driving gives him time to focus, which for Dave maybe isn't the best thing but oh well. Earth was radically different since he last visited, and he still had no clue what was going on. Undoubtedly, Condy was behind the madness but...why split them up like this but leave them with means of communication? Was she that cocky? Taking a look at their fuel gauge, he figures they have a few more hours of travel time. He'll stop at the nearest gas station when he sees it.-

RILEY: - are you trying to focus Dave because get ready to be brocused. That pie she had is destroyed by now with no trace left. She plants herself in the seat nearest to the drivers- hey.

PENNY: -YEAH YOU GO UP THERE. She's gonna make herself cozy with the grand pieblood too.-

RILEY: -we got a mutual friend now suck on that-

LIFERA: Glub...

LIFERA: I just want to help in whatebber way is N-E-ED-ED.

LIFERA: I don't think my other skrills are of much use here.

PENNY: -GAAAHHHH-

HIGHBLOOD: =If she really is peeping at him he's downing a 2 liter of faygo like its nothing.... which incomparison to him..... it isn't. Peace signs at her=

HIGHBLOOD: =If she really is peeping at him he's downing a 2 liter of faygo like its nothing.... which incomparison to him..... it isn't. Peace signs at her=

PENNY: haha same. -she would guzzle something... IF SHE HAD IT.- PENNY: so uh. what do I gotta do to get a pie from you?

HIGHBLOOD: ain't nothin gotta get down lil sismiss HIGHBLOOD: shit doth occur in the time it's done dued up, you just ain't found it yet =She should check under her seat=

HIGHBLOOD: =He looks downward too actually=

PENNY: .... -follows his gaze. Is he looking at the pie??-

HIGHBLOOD: =He's looking under her seat, directly under the human buttsit, it's in a box with a big :o) on the top=

PENNY: oh shit.

PENNY: -reaches down to pull it out and pops the lid.- crouching pie hidden breakfast.

PENNY: thanks big guy. youre a real ten foot bro.

PENNY: sorry Im having a hard time getting past the whole...

PENNY: -spreads her hands wide- thing.

HIGHBLOOD: ain't no apologies needed

HIGHBLOOD: dunno your shit and ain't gonna pry lil sismiss

HIGHBLOOD: as it is it'll be, can't get its ass no other kinda way, you dig?

PENNY: that is. EXACTLY how I feel thank you.

PENNY: -there's probably not a fork in here right?? She's gonna try to nibble this pie with no hands.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Whats a fork=

PENNY: -yeah that's what she thought-

PENNY: ish pree goo tho.

PENNY: youre the real star of this road trip.

HIGHBLOOD: =compliments on his bakes, hell ye. Shimmers= truth on the quality confectionaries though butterance ain't needed

HIGHBLOOD: here not to be no star but keepin the dream alive as i is and am everywhere :o)

PENNY: dont think anyones ever called me the dream before. -SNRK-

DAVENFORTH: Sup -He's starting to get all focused and serious.-

HIGHBLOOD: ain't everybody got them eyes for prizes sismiss ;o)

PENNY: oh shit. I do like you. -scoops banana whip into her mouth with a hand because fuck it she's hungry and the handless approach isn't working-

HIGHBLOOD: tend to be an agreeable motherfucker what with all mine charm and beauty =chinhands=

PENNY: you are hella both in large quantities to no ones surprise. pretty sure everything about you is large. -eats pie contemplatively.-

HIGHBLOOD: in comparison and proportion :o)

PENNY: okay so real question. how many of these pies could you put down?

HIGHBLOOD: damn...... i mix varieties up in my eatins don't gorge on a single thing till a brofo am full....

HIGHBLOOD: ain't never tried but now got reason to do so :o0

PENNY: you gotta. for science.

PENNY: but mostly cuz I wanna see you eat like fifty pies.

HIGHBLOOD: oh fifty is easy

HIGHBLOOD: that ain't a thang sismiss

RILEY: you've got that look going on. i think it's time for some music.

HIGHBLOOD: =Music..... should be break out the sax=

PENNY: hell... yes??? this guy knows his limits and also his lack of them. God bless.

HIGHBLOOD: gotta be in peace with your mind and vessle sismiss

HIGHBLOOD: can do wonderous things

DAVENFORTH: Only music this bus has is icp if you want that be my guest

HIGHBLOOD: =Don't. He's breaking out the sax, that's it=

TAKODA: WE COULD ALL S1NG, AND PLAY MUS1C, 1F WE ARE THE K1NDS, WHO KNOW HOW TO PLAY 1NSTRUMENTS.

TAKODA: WH1CH 1 DO. AND 1 KNOW FOR A FACT, A LOT OF YOU HERE DO. }:o -at ghb's sax-

HIGHBLOOD: =Now that he's looking at it, yup. Here goes him, playing old pop songs from hundreds of years ago https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQxO32lKszo =

PENNY: -SWAYS. This is the best thing that could have possibly happened.-

MAYOR: -percussions on the cans-

DAVENFORTH: -He appreciates the irony but he needs a cigarette-

HIGHBLOOD: =He's fuckin it up on the sax, its just giving you too much life Davenforth=

DAVENFORTH: -A bowl. He needs a bowl. But he doesn't want to lose his focus. He doesn't fight as well under the influence as he used to...-

HIGHBLOOD: =Haha you're old=

DAVENFORTH: -No he just leads a more sober lifestyle-

PENNY: -OLD AS FUCK.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Both, but good on you man. This one goes out to you. Doots soulfully=

RILEY: that sax though.

RILEY: -with all the ruckus at least she can talk to him- you doing okay?

DAVENFORTH: Peachy fucking keen

RILEY: like shit. okay.

RILEY: now we're getting somewhere.

DAVENFORTH: Riri im good just trying to piece together what the actual fuck is going on

RILEY: is this actually something you can piece together? you're gonna stress yourself out thinking about it too much. we have a destination, we just have to get there.

DAVENFORTH: Fuck i dunno but ive gotta try and were a long ass way from minnesota

RILEY: you ever been to minnesota before?

DAVENFORTH: Once dont really remember it

RILEY: yeah. i've never been. had like one show scheduled there but i didn't go. just cuz it was minnesota.

DAVENFORTH: -Taps at the steering wheel-

RILEY: -glances over at him-

RILEY: -y u tap dat-

DAVENFORTH: -He's fine this is all fine.-

RILEY: -time to distract him- so you're legally dead, right.

DAVENFORTH: Dave skellington is me not so much im like missing or presumed dead or some shit just waiting to pop up at my own funeral like some kind of shitty clickbait article the empress of the universe thought he was dead what happened next will warm your heart

DAVENFORTH: Schrodingers asshole

RILEY: wow. that makes so much sense.

DAVENFORTH: I was my own agent

DAVENFORTH: I never revealed dave skellingtons identity to the public

DAVENFORTH: And when he got assassinated i was around him but my death was never confirmed just presumed

RILEY: damn. i should have done that. pulled a hannah montana like you did.

DAVENFORTH: It made shit stupid difficult

RILEY: yeah probably because literally everyone knew who you were.

DAVENFORTH: I worked hard for it

RILEY: weren't there like babies whose first words were dave?

DAVENFORTH: Probably

RILEY: -she pauses- you got a killer headache, huh?

DAVENFORTH: You dont want your babies first word to be dave

RILEY: -there it is- nope.

DAVENFORTH: Sucks to be you

RILEY: there's no possible way that's happening.

DAVENFORTH: -Shrugs-

DAVENFORTH: You doing alright

RILEY: -smug- you don't want your kids' first word to be riley?

DAVENFORTH: It was suh

RILEY: not a word.

DAVENFORTH: Sup is absolutely a word

RILEY: newborns can say suh.

DAVENFORTH: Can they say bro and dude

RILEY: really?

DAVENFORTH: Jinjin is a very talented baby

RILEY: damn trolls and their accelerated development.

DAVENFORTH: You hatin on my baby

RILEY: i'm jealous.

DAVENFORTH: Why you get to enjoy all that cute shit longer

RILEY: no, i mean i'm jealous I didn't grow up that fast.

DAVENFORTH: Wait youre grown up

RILEY: -such a glare- you are SO funny. just a comedic class act.

DAVENFORTH: I was voted most likely to die by cocaine overdose

DAVENFORTH: Also best dressed

RILEY: who are we polling?

JODIE: - shuffles around in the back somewhere. she's extremely hung over-

DAVENFORTH: Well that one was my high school class

QIRIN: =Now Jodie...imagine the greasiest pizza you have ever laid eyes on. Oil is literally dripping from the cheese. YUM.=

JODIE: - she's barely even conscious and she already wants this in her body-

RILEY: nice. great categories. -lifts her head- okay who fucking has pizza?

QIRIN: =I do. An imaginary one.=

DAVENFORTH: -Babe chill-

RILEY: wait. -groans- blaming my bad sense of smell on the baby.

JODIE: - she wants REAL pizza-

DAVENFORTH: I mean they were right werent they

RILEY: close enough. i don't think i was voted into anything. it would have been most likely to go to juvie for truancy.

JODIE: anybody got some water?

JODIE: -HER VOICE IS HOARSE. she got black out drunk and is now reaping the benefits.-

RILEY: -GIRL-

JODIE: -rubbing eyes.-

DAVENFORTH: -Nope only whiskey-

DAVENFORTH: You didnt miss much

JODIE: cool.

RILEY: somebody had a party last night.

QIRIN: =she slowly rose to her feet and handed her an unopened water bottle= ^_^

JODIE: -blessed woman. makes a smooching sound at her and then CHUGS IT-  

QIRIN: =dear lord=

QIRIN: If I may interject... Perhaps slower consumption will aid you better...

JODIE: that was like a pre-party. imma wait til we have something to celebrate before i pull out all the stops.

JODIE: -GLUG GLUG???-

QIRIN: =mainly she doesn't want her to choke=

RILEY: you can't get her to slow down.

RILEY: it's impossible.

JODIE: -drinks half the bottle and passes it on back-

JODIE: -fishes in her purse and reapplies lip balm- thanks bby.

QIRIN: It's quite all right, please keep it. =YOU MAY NEED IT LATER=

JODIE: oh sweet. after i drink it all i can pee in the bottle.

JODIE: save us time.

JODIE: -TOSSES IT IN HER PURSE-

QIRIN: =frog god help her=

JODIE: i swear i can get it all in without a stray drop. it's a talent.

DAVENFORTH: Theres a bathroom -If you can call it that-

JODIE: damn. fancy ass bus.

RILEY: a bottle actually might be preferable.

JODIE: -MIGHT BE A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED THAT SHE CAN'T SHOW OFF HER TALENT.-

RILEY: -has to pee aLL THE TIME THANKS RYAN-

RYAN: -rihanna winks from the womb-

RILEY: -GIRL!!!!-

DAVENFORTH: -Hark! Is that a gas station he sees in the distance?-

RILEY: -PLEASE JESUS-

DAVENFORTH: -Indeed it is! Davenforth pulls into the station. Is it abandoned we just don't know yet.-

DEREK: -eyes out the window-

DAVENFORTH: Alright kids its time for a rest

RILEY: i'm really fucking hungry. does this place have those rent a showers? not like i have any earth money on me. do they accept that anymore?

DAVENFORTH: -Shrugs-

QIRIN: What of trading?

RILEY: -blinks at qirin for a moment- oh. yeah! that.

DEREK: -stands up and stretches-

DAVENFORTH: Pretty sure they dont accept third borns

DAVENFORTH: Lets see if this place isnt abandoned first -Looks at Derek like you coming with?-

RILEY: -she's already walking out the bus-

DEREK: -HELL YEAH HE IS. nods at the brother and trots on after-

DAVENFORTH: -Hops off the bus-

DAVENFORTH: So if there aint anyone in there you think you remember how to do that thing behind the counter to get free gas

RILEY: -there better be some FOOD IN HERE-

DEREK: Sure I do. -ok hand- I got this.

RILEY: get us some fuel, baby.

DAVENFORTH: -Heads on in-

DAVENFORTH: Anybody home

RILEY: -curiously looks around. what's this place look like anyway-

QIRIN: Honestly. At the very least write an IOU.

DAVENFORTH: -It's much akin to a good sized seven eleven. Hot dog and pizza machine, aisles of snacks with the cooler section in the back with drinks. There's even a tv on the wall with the latest news. Everything is up and running but Davenforth notes it's quiet-

QIRIN: =what's on the telly?=

RILEY: -if there's no one in here she's gonna take some shit and run. she's checking some expiration dates on some chips to make sure-

DAVENFORTH: -Deez nuts-

DEREK: -peeks behind the counter casually. nobody's there, but maybe they're just in the bathroom or the back room or something. either way, he's hopping over the counter to do his thing.-

DAVENFORTH: -There's probably something on tv about policies the New dual juggalo presidents are going to be enacting. Boring stuff honestly. Oh yeah, Two juggalos won the presidency. Davenforth is trying to figure out how to make some tea for folks. Everyone is cold.-

RILEY: -she's stuffing her arms full of stuff like cheap hot dogs and sandwiches and donuts and a whole bunch of shit before just straight up slippin it in the sylladex. there's a bathroom and she's going to take this opportunity while it's here. tHERE sHE GOES-

DAVENFORTH: I can see why you married her

DEREK: -grins as he watches her go. she scurry.- Yeah... We used to get into all kinds of shit back in the way.

DAVENFORTH: Youre always getting into shit -He too, is stuffing his sylladex full of shit, non perishable food, water, Gatorade, microwavable burritos and pizza rolls...until he actually hears the named shaggy 2 dope and violent j. Now the tv has his full fucking attention-

RILEY: -busts out of the restrooms- okay, guys, i-- -she sees dave looking at the tv so she also is looking at the tv and not believing anything she's seeing right now-

QIRIN: =trying to ignore all this petty crime happening=

QIRIN: Can you believe it? =She's paritially asking herself that question=

DAVENFORTH: That would explain the rise of the juggalos

RILEY: -frowns- you sure this isn't one of those sketch comedy shows? or a mockumentary?

DAVENFORTH: Afraid not

DEREK: -furrows brows at the tv- Whats the point of fucking the planet over to this degree? Did all the Alternian imperialized planets get this kinda treatment?

RILEY: this is fucking ridiculous. how is this a thing? who made this a thing?

[gulescamisade]

Virginia: Day 1

[One instant they're on the ship, and the next they're someplace else entirely. They seem to be outside, among trees, the forest floor covered in a small blanket of snow. For those who look around, they will see not everyone from the UU is present. Only Davenforth, Derek, Riley, Penny, Roxanne, Takoda, Gaizka, Lifera, Qirin, the Mayor, and the Grand High Blood. If they check, all their belongings they had on them before will still be there. Comm devices, anything in their sylladex, and even their strife specibus is intact.]

DAVENFORTH: -Okay what the fuck. First, he was waiting for some heartwarming family reunion to be over and next he's peeling himself off the forest floor. Been a long time since he had this sensation. Groggy, he stands, taking in his location and those around him. Shit.-

LIFERA: -DOOF. She certainly wasn't prepared for something this inane to happen, and she's glad she didn't equip her 2x3dent in the midst of all this. But this is.... suddenly incredibly cold, and she hisses, pushing herself up out of the snow and shivering immediately.-

ROXANNE: -Oh likewise Davenforth, but also seriously what the actual fuck. Can't there be a few hour period of family reunions WITHOUT things going to all hell in exchange like what the shit. Roxanne is sitting up and trying to adjust to the swimming headache that comes with being unceremoniously dumped with teleportation into some strange forest.- Ngh..

PENNY: -She's stumbling until she plops right back on her butt, dropping the cigarette she was holding and watching it fizzle out in the snow.- FUCK.

MAYOR: -FLAILS AROUND. WHAT IS THIS WHITE NONSENSE. WHAT MANNER OF TRAP HAS HE BEEN TELEPORTED TO-

LIFERA: A)(--!

HIGHBLOOD: =Man he was braiding his hair.... what the hell=

QIRIN: =She miraculously managed to land on her feet during this=

DAVENFORTH: Well at least everyone is awake

HIGHBLOOD: =Keeps braiding and looks around=

DAVENFORTH: -Sees Lifera though. Walks over and uncaptchas an extra coat, offering it to her.-

QIRIN: =immediately begins to peel people off the ground if they are still getting themselves acquainted to it.= 

QIRIN: Is everyone all right?

DEREK: -once his ass is up, he's gonna tend to hoisting riley and also draping a coat on her gdi davenforth why we gotta be in synch here.-

LIFERA: Th-Thanks. -nestles in the coat, clearly uncomfortable in this climate-

RILEY: -her ass is PLANTED IN THE SNOW but before she knows it, derek's got her and already getting her a coat- what the actual fuck?!

DAVENFORTH: No problem

DAVENFORTH: Everyone else good so far

PENNY: IM GREAT THANKS FOR ASKING.

MAYOR: -tentatively eats a handful of snow-

ROXANNE: -Shes getting up and dusting herself off before rapidly checking her sylladex. This has happened too many times. Roxanne lets out a sigh of relief when she finds it all there.- Yeah. Good so far.

ROXANNE: 'Cept for the whole whatever that was.

RILEY: -penny's here too? and ROXANNE? WOW. she laughs because this is so gODDAMMN CRAZY BEFORE clearing her throat- is there like...another coat jacket blanket sweater whatever?

HIGHBLOOD: =Suddenly wearing this because coldblooded

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/36/65/27/366527e371625a8d07bba99b13685dbf.jpg

=

QIRIN: ....

HIGHBLOOD: =picks at fangs=

QIRIN: By chance, do you have more in there?

HIGHBLOOD: most assuredly my alabaster sismiss

ROXANNE: -........Eyyy clown buddy has got the threads. She would appreciate it if she wasnt now realizing that ONCE AGAIN shes been separated from every aspect of her small family in likely a life or death situation.-

PENNY: oh shit I want one.

ROXANNE: -8)-

DAVENFORTH: Ive also got regular coats if you dont wanna look like a pride yeti  

LIFERA: ... -Soft glubs. She glances around, sniffing in reservation.-

DAVENFORTH: Wait shit that sounds dope

HIGHBLOOD: =DUMPS tacky rainbow threads on all who needs em= color does yon motherfuck good HIGHBLOOD: best be lookin the best whilst you can broseph :o)

QIRIN: ^_^ Thank you, truly. =She picks one up and tries it on, pushing the neck fluff up to her cheeks. Team Pride Yetis are a go=

RILEY: thanks buddy. -he is her buddy, really- warmest one you got give to my sister. -nods her head in that direction.-

DEREK: -looks pennyward- Oh damn. Thats her?

HIGHBLOOD: y'alls all motherfuckin tiny as a bit they all warm when you layers on layers on layers em sis :oP

RILEY: uh huh. -she nods- imagine me like. 15 years younger. not pregnant. i'll kind of look like her, then.

DAVENFORTH: I always look my best -You Motherfuck...-

HIGHBLOOD: best could get bester =clown smiles in his obsenely bright and colorful winterwear= best get on out the cold

DAVENFORTH: None of us can fly huh

DAVENFORTH: Best vantage point is upward

RILEY: do we look like any of us can fly?

RILEY: let me get my extended wings and jet pack and just bust up into the sky.

HIGHBLOOD: i could juggle y'all that counts enough

QIRIN: What of these trees? I am sure we could scale them.

QIRIN: =maybe=

ROXANNE: -Excuse her and the clicking noise as she's setting up her rifle gun. Shes not screwing around.- We could try it but i dunno' whoever does should be good at climbing because falls can kill pretty quick.

HIGHBLOOD: =He might catch them... or he might not=

DAVENFORTH: Ill be right back -Flashsteps up one of the taller trees to see if he can get a decent vantage point-

RILEY: -throws her hands up in frustration at davenforth just GOIN OFF LIKE THAT- okay, bye.

HIGHBLOOD: =digging into an peach cobbler, hot and fresh from who knows where, one hand in the pocket, looking around=

QIRIN: =a little flatly at Davenforth's eagerness to shimmy up a tree= Oh thank goodness we have medical.

DAVENFORTH: -He's just anime jumping up it branch by branch JESUS. It's perfectly safe, right Derek?-

ROXANNE: -Please dont fall though.-

HIGHBLOOD: =But if you do, do a flip=

ROXANNE: -No.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Two flips=

[At the top of the trees, Davenforth will see MORE TREES... but in the far distance, there are lights coming from a tented area the size of a small village. Maybe it's a... circus?]

DAVENFORTH: -Sighs- At least it aint texas

ROXANNE: -Finishes prepping her gun and slings it over her shoulder, while she watches Davenforth from the ground.-

LIFERA: -She's starting to pace to keep warm. Heck.-

DAVENFORTH: -Checks his comm. Oh shit. Virginia huh? He starts making his way down the tree landing on his feet with the softest thud-

ROXANNE: -Nice dismount. Stuck the landing.-

ROXANNE: See anythin' up there?

PENNY: -draping herself in what's practically a rainbow tent. Ahh yes.- alright whatevers going on Im not standing here fuck deep in snow.

DAVENFORTH: Hope you guys like camping cuz were gonna be playing the wild thornberries for a while

DAVENFORTH: Good news is theres what can be considered civilization miles ahead

QIRIN: Good idea. Are berries in season?

RILEY: great. -sighs, hugging the coat tighter against her-

DAVENFORTH: Bad news is it looks like the ringaling brothers are here

ROXANNE: -Raises a brow.- What?

QIRIN: =shrugs at roxanne=

HIGHBLOOD: =LEANS= them motherfuckers?? =furrows brows=

DAVENFORTH: Grape ape over there is gonna feel real at home soon im guessin

HIGHBLOOD: mine home is where i roam bromie

PENNY: -she's already trudging through the snow. BYE YALL-

HIGHBLOOD: =Goodbye forever lil sis=

DAVENFORTH: That lovely lady has the right idea she might wanna walk to the left a bit though

ROXANNE: ! -Spots a fleeing penny.- Uh hey.

ROXANNE: Maybe you shouldn't go off on your own like that? -Whoever she is, she didnt get the name, only that shes related to riley.-

RILEY: -sighs- hey! where the fuck are you going?

HIGHBLOOD: =He shrugs and starts to roam, tapping on his com and slorping some faygo. The lorge walks through the snow surprisingly quiet=

PENNY: -turns left a little. THANKS GUY.-

PENNY: Im freezing my ass off and I dont know none of yall.

HIGHBLOOD: word on the block's you got fam littlest bit

HIGHBLOOD: that's the block, stalkin ya

RILEY: so your plan is to get lost?

DAVENFORTH: Introducing yourself is the quickest way to still not know someone but at least know their name

PENNY: hi Im Penny.

QIRIN: I am Weramiru Qirin, former queen of Prospit, abdicated in 2619, best decision of my life. I am now one of the Unbreakable Union's doctors. =Holds out her hand like Disney Jane and Tarzan introducing themselves.=

HIGHBLOOD: =Pft, royals=

DAVENFORTH: -What a nerd. He loves her-

ROXANNE: Hey, Penny. I'm not as fancy as Qirin, but ya'can call me Roxanne. -How friendly does she looked all stressed out and with a loaded weapon slung over her shoulder.-

QIRIN: You do not have to be fancy when you are already a brilliant scientist, Roxanne.

PENNY: -side eyes Qirin... high fives her.-

QIRIN: ^_^ =highfives=

ROXANNE: .......Aw heck. -Thats adorable.- Thanks Qirin.

RILEY: enough introductions to get us all going the same direction? perfect. let's go.

PENNY: sorry but no.

MAYOR: -he points to his sash-

PENNY: Im gonna go this way and you can go whatever other way.

MAYOR: -u were missing one. now u know-

HIGHBLOOD: aight =keeps walking= can't make no motherfucker amble on where they don't wanna get their legs =walks behind a tree and disappears=

HIGHBLOOD: =Sliding casually down the other side of the hill, slorping faygo=

PENNY: ....wtf.

DAVENFORTH: Thank god the mayor is okay

QIRIN: ......................

RILEY: -glances at this adorable carapacian and has no idea why he's pointing at his sash but he's so adorable she has to force herself to focus on the situation at hand- well, i'm going where you go. so...you can either go with everybody else or be stuck with just me.

QIRIN: =watches GHB disappear with her own two eyeballs. She should be accustomed to strange occurrences by now, but the fact of the matter is that she is NOT.=

DAVENFORTH: -Catches up to Penny-

PENNY: are you seriously going to do this right now?

DAVENFORTH: Youre an independent woman i like and respect that but right now at this particular juncture of what the absolute fuck is going on we should probably stick together until were not just in a forest with snow also sup penny pleasure to meet you names davenforth

PENNY: look.

PENNY: I just dont want to deal with her.

RILEY: oh jesus christ.

ROXANNE: -Just chilling with Qirin. She aint going near that whole family debacle happening.-

HIGHBLOOD(?): =From somewhere........ a pie appears in Riley's hand=

RILEY: ...

DAVENFORTH: Who riley come on she aint that bad bark is definitely worse than the bite

MAYOR: -ponders, pulling out his YARDSTICK SPEAR. he begins drawing something in the snow...-

RILEY: -sufficiently distracted by there being a pie in her hands all of a sudden. is anybody else seeing this?-

HIGHBLOOD(?): =With a cherry=

PENNY: Im pretty sure I know what shes capable of thanks.

ROXANNE: -Yikes and she thought her and Ruth were bad.-

DAVENFORTH: Im not gonna doubt that but we should still stick together

DAVENFORTH: Just because shes here dont mean you gotta talk to her though

RILEY: -holding this pie with a cherry on top.- oh god i'm having one of those weird dreams again aren't i?

ROXANNE: -Nope, you arent Riley.-

DEREK: -pinches riley's arm-

MAYOR: -he's DONE WITH HIS DRAWING. he turns and scampers up to penny and pokes her in the side with his spear thingy.-

HIGHBLOOD(?): =DO IT.... is she not gonna do it.... it's a great pie...... says the universe=

DAVENFORTH: Maybe the mayor can help better

RILEY: -slaps derek's arm as an automatic reflex- oh. nope. -WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS PIE. do you want me to stick it in someone's FACE?-

DAVENFORTH: Thanks mayor

PENNY: cool cuz dont expect that to work.

QIRIN: =hangin back here with Roxanne. For the same reasons. Dave's got this handled.=

DAVENFORTH: -He does not, in fact, have this handled.-

HIGHBLOOD(?): =What else are pies for... it's a sleepytime pie. Maybe. PRobably=

ROXANNE: -Nah, you got it handled.-

PENNY: -looks down at Mayor.- ??

ROXANNE: -Produces a scarf and silently offers it to Qirin. Shes got a lot, but they wont match the coats..-

RILEY: -inspects the pie further. a sleepytime pie? do you want me to put my sister to SLEEP-

MAYOR: -POINTS AT HIS FINISHED PIECE. it appears to be a large checkerboard carefully drawn in the snow, complete with the pieces!!!! there are white ones and black ones. The black ones are represented by his footprints, while the white ones are basically just circles. They appear to be in a position of CHECK, judging by the fact that the king is surrounded, and the rook and queen are on other sides of the biard, and the black pieces have like THREE WHOLE QUEENS, but nevetherless, it is not yet checkmate. He points to the king and then draws a line to an empty space.-

HIGHBLOOD(?): :o)

MAYOR: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

QIRIN: ^o^ =pleasantly surprised= Oh thank you, Roxanne. How kind of you.

ROXANNE: No problem, Q.

QIRIN: =gazes intently at this drawing=

RILEY: -only if...she wants to go off on her own again...-

PENNY: -stares intently down at this chess board... and looks back at the Mayor.- sorry bud but I got no fuckin clue what youre trying to tell me.

MAYOR: -THROWS HIS ARMS UP-

MAYOR: -ENDOMORPHS ARE HOPELESS-

PENNY: heh.

PENNY: youre pretty cute tho.

MAYOR: -points to his sash again-

PENNY: ...mayo....R.

MAYOR: -jitters-

PENNY: ohhhh. Mayor??

MAYOR: -JITTERS!!!!-

RILEY: -come on little dude. you can get her to stay-

PENNY: I got no idea what mayoring has to do with games but its cool I guess.

MAYOR: -jitters his way back over to the snowboard and begins doing some changes, plopping some snow on top of the kind and drawing in a NEW piece, in a relatively safe spot and NOT in check, before drawing some arrows from the other rook and queen.- He points excitedly at it.-

PENNY: .... were winning chess?

MAYOR: -shakes his head. THUMBS DOWN. definitely losing.-

PENNY: look I wasnt that much of a nerd in high school. I can kick ass at Connect Four though.

PENNY: okay. we suck at chess. thats accurate.

DAVENFORTH: -Hear him in your HEART penny-

MAYOR: -hmm, hmm. He points to her, and then he points to the king. And then he draws a little picture of one of the bishops putting the king in check on top of the king's head.-

MAYOR: -THEN he points at the rook and the queen, pointing at Davenforth and Derek.-

PENNY: ...

ROXANNE: -So Derek or Davenforth are the queen and the other is a rook.-

MAYOR: -he doesn't know what piece u are. HE DOESN'T KNOW YOU LADY-

PENNY: alright. sunglass guys are badasses.

DEREK: -thumbs up-

PENNY: -SIGHS-

RILEY: -elbows him-

MAYOR: ...

MAYOR: -OK SO NOW HE JUST JUMPS ALL OVER THE SNOW, drawing a bunch of pieces around the king. And then a CIRCLE around them.-

PENNY: yeah yeah okay I get it.

PENNY: if I run off Im boned.

PENNY: is that what youre trying to tell me?

MAYOR: -NODS-

MAYOR: -you've only got one move in check-

PENNY: well Ive basically been boned my whole life so thats really nothing new.

PENNY: I like you though.

MAYOR: -jitters a shaky thumbs up-

DEREK: -ELBOW'D OOF.- So were stickin together this time gang?

PENNY: here cmere you look cold as balls. -shuffles over to wrap mayor up in her rainbow funtime coat-

MAYOR: -! -THAT IS KIND. he is hard, like the kind of resin that'd go around a chess piece. UNSURPRISINGLY-

PENNY: -he is a friend...- yeah I guess.

RILEY: -relief-

DAVENFORTH: Told you the mayor is the best

DAVENFORTH: Thanks mayor

DEREK: Groovy.

RILEY: i don't think i ever want you to say that again. -at Derek.-

DEREK: What? It is groovy.

ROXANNE: -Clears throat- Not ta' break this fun time up but.

DEREK: -smirks, then slips an arm around here- So we movin or did I just agree to freezin to death with yall?

ROXANNE: We good to move-

ROXANNE: Yeah what Derek just said.

DEREK: Great minds.

RILEY: -leans into him and sighs- let's go.

DEREK: -PROCEEDS-

ROXANNE: -LIKEWISE. Shes ready to march.-

MAYOR: -scampers along inside a coat-

DAVENFORTH: -Goes to check on Lifera again- You need another coat

RILEY: -might be slowing derek a little down by how she's trying to guarantee penny is going with them-

LIFERA: I need. Probubbly. Ten coats.

PENNY: -shuffles with the mayo. she's very tempted to scoop him up like a kid....-

ROXANNE: -Does the fish queen want scarves? She has scarves.-

LIFERA: -YES-

MAYOR: -HE IS AN ELECTED OFFICIAL-

ROXANNE: -Slows her walk enough so that she can distribute them to anyone who wants them.- Life time a knitting finally came in handy. Thank you highschool arts an'crafts.

QIRIN: =Takes a couple small cloth packs out of her sylladex, shakes them up, and hands them over to Lifera.=

QIRIN: Please, take them. They are hand warmers.

ROXANNE: -YOU get a scarf and YOU get a scarf. They are long and thick, and come in a bunch of different colors (Although mostly shades of purple)-

DAVENFORTH: -Uncaptchas his red trench coat and drapes it over Lifera. It's his favorite coat ever. Don't let anything happen to it.-

[Eventually they make it to the clowny congregation. Upon closer inspection, it's almost like... a clown shanty town, if such a thing exists. It's grungy. A chicken is running through the middle of the town. There are people wandering around -- humans in face paint. From one of the tents (maybe) this tune is playing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqEwX9Orp7M

]

HIGHBLOOD: =He's been here the whole time. Staring...... watching......... in disbelief=

ROXANNE: -........Wow. This sure is something.-

LIFERA: -piles all these articles on her body in the walk- Glub... T)(ANK you.

LIFERA: ... -stares at all this-

QIRIN: ^ ^

DEREK: Oh for fucks sake.

DAVENFORTH: No

PENNY: .......

DEREK: Come on guys we leavin.

PENNY: -starts turning her and mayor around in a slow circle-

DEREK: -TURNS HIMSELF AND RILEY AROUND-

DAVENFORTH: Lets go the other way

PENNY: throw that ass in a circle the fuck out.

LIFERA: WAD-----E.

QIRIN: I am inclined to agree.

HIGHBLOOD: =Suddenly....... spiky club=

LIFERA: LOOK. They seem mostly... )(UMAN?

LIFERA: Maybe.

QIRIN: !

DAVENFORTH: Even worse

RILEY: where the hell are we?

LIFERA: It's probubbly some sort of... new jurisdiction.

ROXANNE: -Seconds that !- 

ROXANNE: -Although shes also carrying a gun, she has no room to talk on the weapons front, but seeing a spike wielding giant is a little more intimidating.-

RILEY: oh. hey. big guy. whatcha doing?

LIFERA: -side eyes GHB-

MAYOR: -HIDES HIS EYES-

PENNY: -also hides his eyes. you are safe now.-

HIGHBLOOD: =drapes his rainbow robes over a fence and ominously drags the club right into town= cleanin a stain upon mine religion

QIRIN: ...

TAKODA: -OH YEAH HE'S HERE-

TAKODA: UMMM.

DAVENFORTH: Woah there

TAKODA: TH1S SEEMS L1KE A MOMENT, WHERE 1 M1GHT WANT TO TRY SOME... D1PLOMACY...

ROXANNE: Hhh. Might wanna' try it fast then.

RILEY: -makes a horrified face- wait, what?

ROXANNE: -But no, big clown wont really go smash all these tents up right? RIGHT??-

HIGHBLOOD: =EYEBALLS..... his bro gaizka gets the boink on with this brown he knows......... Hm...... flexes his jaw and holds up a big palm= two minutes. =uncharacteristically sensible...ish=

TAKODA: -smiles, clasping hands together- GREAT! AH... 

TAKODA: LET'S ASK THEM 1F THEY MAYBE... HAVE SOME MODE OF TRANSPORTAT1ON, WE CAN BORROW, OR UH... PURCHASE, 1F NEED BE?

HIGHBLOOD: take.

LIFERA: GLUB.

HIGHBLOOD: i ain't buyin shit from no motherfuckin blasphemors

LIFERA: Let us do something NOW, then, shell we????

RILEY: (is being a juggalo a real religion now?) -very quietly so as not to offend the big guy-

DEREK: (Yeah its a weird troll thing.)

RILEY: (oh my god.)

DAVENFORTH: Thought youd proud to see some like minded thinkers whats wrong big guy

HIGHBLOOD: =Looks down to Davenforth, unamused= ain't likeminded 

HIGHBLOOD: they got shit twisted, i'm inclined as a motherfuck of strong beliefs to untwist them

TAKODA: -bravely tries to address a lady juggalo- JUGGALETTE: -turns around and she's topless- 

TAKODA: OH. YOUR RUMBLE SPHERES. ARE OUT 1N THE OPEN, 1 SEE. 

TAKODA: ... 1SN'T 1T A L1TTLE COLD? -proceeds to try to convince her to put a coat on-

HIGHBLOOD: =That's right..... eat up your time=

LIFERA: -just starts aggressively walking through this village of weird human anger clowns-

DAVENFORTH: -Baybe?-

DAVENFORTH: Looks all the same to me bunch of face paint drowning their lives out in sugar and drugs

RILEY: can't we just steal from them? that would be more fun than killing them.

[Lifera passes by two juggalos taking turns hitting each other in the face with a street sign. You know, just for fun.]

DAVENFORTH: A lot less reserved though

DAVENFORTH: Definitely not as dangerous

RILEY: find me a car and i'll hotwire us out of here.

LIFERA: ...-wtf-...

HIGHBLOOD: it ain't the same and diplomacy's gotta clock 

HIGHBLOOD: don't know what motherfuckin mockery of bullshit this is but i'm fit to stamp it out, you ain't eager to cease my stampins for all the ignorance you spit sos i jive with that at least

LIFERA: -She's looking for any sort of shelter or transport they can use before things get ugly, plus she's freezing.-

QIRIN: =...= ... 

QIRIN: .............

[She eventually comes upon a big party bus. It's all graffiti'd up with weird little symbols of a dude with a hatchet, also covered in what's probably mud and blood...]

DAVENFORTH: If youre gonna stomp out some mostly harmless folks then ill definitely stop that they aint hurtin nobody but themselves

RILEY: (is this really a conversation we're having right now.)

DAVENFORTH: Dont sweat em they aint the issue

LIFERA: -LOUD GLUBBING.- OV-ER )(-ER--------E!

HIGHBLOOD: =He sighs, looking around again at all these humans shitting on his religion, hand flexes on the club= can't stop inevitable broseph 

HIGHBLOOD: but the snake cranium is much preferred =Looks Lifera-ward and starts to drag his club through town again=

DAVENFORTH: -Zips over.-

[The door to the party busy is just... open... A chicken glides out.]

LIFERA: -watches it go...- 

LIFERA: .... I'M S)(OR-E IT'S FIN-E.

LIFERA: 38)

QIRIN: ......

DEREK: Ive traveled in worse conditions.

RILEY: jesus. 

RILEY: i haven't traveled in anything with blood on it. well...not THAT much.

PENNY: lmao Id be surprised if my car DIDNT have blood on it.

PENNY: speaking of which miss you baby.

PENNY: everybody in before I freeze my titties off.

DAVENFORTH: Cover your tits then damn are the juggalos getting to you already

QIRIN: =what is life=

HIGHBLOOD: =Eyeballs the devil settlement= ....... =He'll be back=

DAVENFORTH: -Yells for Takoda-

PENNY: hey I could get down with some free titties.

RILEY: -gets her ass on this bus and takes a seat. her feet hurt and ryan's being rowdy-

TAKODA: HUH? OH. 1T WAS N1CE MEET1NG YOU PLEASE PUT ON A SH1RT-- -runs back over to his FRIENDS-

HIGHBLOOD: =If only everyone wasn't so proactive...... is salty, is seething. Is texting in the back and surprisingly..... not weighing this van down like mofo?=

PENNY: -he's like a bird.... in colorful feathers...-

HIGHBLOOD: =A goose=

HIGHBLOOD: =HO NK=

DAVENFORTH: Koda i nominate you for bus driver

TAKODA: }:D TAKODA: THAT SOUNDS L1KE FUN. -gets in the driver's seat. the keys are just... in there.-

DAVENFORTH: Dont crash us bro -Takes a seat-

LIFERA: -snuggles up with Davenforth almost immediately. WARM HER.-

DAVENFORTH: -Space Heater protocol: Commence-

TAKODA: -once everyone is in... he tries to back up, only to accidentally crash into a tent- WHOOPS. 

TAKODA: 1'VE NEVER DR1VEN A LAND VEH1CLE... W1TH TH1S MUCH CLEARANCE BEFORE. JUST... JUST A SECOND... -forward again, carefully trying to maneuver... backs into another tent.- 

TAKODA: SH1T. UHH... -does this several more times before they can pull out of this spot and drive OUT of the settlement-

RILEY: -JERKS FORWARD and grabs onto the seat in front of her- holy shit.

QIRIN: =clears her throat= Are you sure about this?

HIGHBLOOD: =Good yes=

QIRIN: Takoda?

TAKODA: YES, SORRY. WE SHOULD BE GOOD NOW. }:) -sweats... driving down the road from the now partially demolished settlement. the mirthful messiahs were in GHB's favor.-

RILEY: carry on soldier.

QIRIN: =she's gonna stay awake....just in case....=

HIGHBLOOD: =this is why he's a faithful devote believer... he'll fix this. They know he will=

TAKODA: -turns on the radio and icp is playing... on every station- ... UMM. -the quiet is better anyway. he'll keep driving until somebody requests a stop, but there's at least a bathroom on the bus. it might be the worst thing they've ever seen, but it is a bathroom.-

QIRIN: =sideeyes takoda when the radio comes on=

[gulescamisade]

MN, Ground:  Day 27

DAVE: -Jesus Christ they're finally here. it's been a long time but motherfuckers he is coming HOME because of that cheesy bullshit that is home being where the people you care about are. He's slow to get his feet on the ground, taking in the scenery first, before following the others up to the house-

ARADIA: -they're here...-

DIRK: -everyone get the fuck out of the way. dirk is here to greet everyone, but especially family... which right now means dave so hello dave you're gonna get a brother hug... he doesn't really know the extend of the damage done to him so he doesn't know how to be MINDFUL OF IT...-

DAVE: -it's a relief seeing dirk alive and okay, but he doesn't have a lot of time to process it with the hug he's given and the way it gives him such a sharp pain. He grits his teeth, patting dirk on the back and wincing while in this brother hug- LOOSER NOT SO TIGHT

DIRK: Oh fuck-- Sorry. -LOOSENS HIS STRONG GRIP-

DAVE: -YA TOO STRONG YA ASSHOLE- its cool its like a love back break i get it we just gotta respect the property of my spine

DAVE: anyway sup

MITUNA: -Hops down as well, everyone is here wow look at this brotherly bonding. Gay-

MEULIN: -She ALMOST tackled Dave, but instead she's here to try to nuzzle between Strider tiddies.-

MEULIN: -Just. Right there in that hug.-

DIRK: You-- Oh. Hello there.

DAVE: -thank you Meulin for being thoughtful- also hey meu I dont think you can even see my lips moving right now but the sentiment is there

MEULIN: (^・ω・^ )

MITUNA: ehehehe

MEULIN: PRR PRR.

ARADIA: -watching from the roof-

RUFIOH: -also watching from the roof...-

MITUNA: -He's gonna inside. Pauses to wave at Aradia-

HESONY: =just hanging out with the dragonfly, dont mind him=

ERIDAN: -gazing from inside the ice cream truck in his stupid ice cream man geddup. The things he had to do to get everyone here on time... Horrendous. https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2014-12/2/15/enhanced/webdr07/enhanced-22416-1417551805-3.jpg -

DIRK: -nuzzles meulin's hair a little...- She's got cool shades that transcribe everything around her. I wonder who got her those.

ARADIA: -hops down to greet more properly. mituna first- hows your arm or lack thereof

MEULIN: (○｀ω´○)

DAVENFORTH: -Climbs out the back of the ice cream truck, bandaged and wearing his own shades again. Walks over to the nephew cat sandwich- Aint yall just adorable

DAVE: some anime asshole probably -fuck it's just nice to be with his brother again-

MITUNA: oh i75 how youd 7hink i7d go my balance i5 fucked

QIRIN: =just....eyeballing the Alaska group. What the shit happened to all of you?!=

KURLOZ: =Get over it, he's just going to get out and walk right into the cabin/house. He doesn't know you hos=

DAVE: -he can't help but smile a little at his uncle- yo uncle dave nice job wreckin the presidents -from this angle no one can see the scar on his neck and he is thankful for that-

MINDFANG: -What Didnt happen. Also shes standing near the dragonfly too, eyeing Hesony. Hes had it real good for a while.-

HESONY: =Hello Mindfang, he sees you looking, but the fight in him has pretty much died. They kept their promise.=

MINDFANG: -They sure did, and now there is no real reason to keep them around so she is just pondering that.-

ARADIA: yeah i figured ARADIA: -pauses and then just lightly and carefully hugs him- welcome back

KARKAT: =Is also out and about somewhere but he knows you hoes. At least everyone else didn't go through hell=

RILEY: -EVERYBODY MOVE THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY-

DAVENFORTH: -It's okay, you can't see the scar on his eye. His face, his beautiful face.- Thanks but ro did the part that wasnt getting my ass kicked you should congratulate her

DAVENFORTH: You look like you went through some shit

DIRK: -lucky bastards, everyone can see HIS scar..-

DIRK: -smiles a little at brunc, but oh fuck here she comes... the mom-

ROXANNE: -Shes getting out of the truck after Derek and Riley, she wasnt going to be in the way of that, no sir.-

DEREK: -LEAPS AFTER RILEY-

DEREK: -JET NOISES-

DAVENFORTH: -Observes-

RILEY: -she's running at them and nearly collides into the boys and meulin consequently, wrapping her arms around their shoulders- OH THANK FUCK.

MITUNA: -A hug is probably the nicest thing he's had in a week. He loops his good arm around Aradia and squeezes and rests his chin on her head.- 7hank5 arayray

DIRK: -starting to get emotional... with his parents and his brother and his uncle and his cat all right here...-

DAVENFORTH: -Gets sad about his cat-

RILEY: -they're getting smooches on the head- my babies.

DAVE: -he winces a little at the first collision but he's okay and WOW WAY TO BE EMBARRASSING MOM- hey

ERIDAN: -disgusting... this clan of humans in their natural habitat... how do you tell them apart. Eridan fears for himself.-

ARADIA: you get to actually rest for a little while now

ROXANNE: -Eridan dont be a downer.-

MITUNA: yeah righ7 7he 5creamy a55hole5 ate back

ERIDAN: -He's always a downer. And eating a dreamsicle in the ice cream truck.-

ARADIA: who karkat

ARADIA: we have a lot of screamy assholes mituna

MITUNA: he ha5n7 been 7ha7 bad ac7ually i mean7 um i mean7 7he dead one5

ROXANNE: -WELL DONT BE.-

ROXANNE: -Also enough of watching the striders reunite, as cute as that is, shes going into the house on a quest to find her own daughter, where is rose where are you hiding her.-

DEREK: -places a hand on dave's shoulder during all this... that'll do pig-

ARADIA: oh that makes so much more sense

DAVE: -STOP IT BRO YOURE GONNA MAKE HIM CRY-

REDGLARE: -Oh, hey, hello. This. And everyone. And people. She's limping. She's tired. She's been keeping herself awake for the flight, and some of the pains have been keeping her from conking out anyways, but she's not quite ready to pass out on the floor. She hobbles over to the nearest thing she can sit on and sits.-

DAVENFORTH: !!!! -Walks over to Redglare and just kind of stands there, taking this all in. She looks so tired, and like she went through literally hell. His eyes linger on her a little too long- You mind if i sit here

REDGLARE: s1t. REDGLARE: 1 s4w your 1m4g3s.

DAVE: -SO SMOOTH BRUNCLE-

DAVENFORTH: -Groans a bit as he sits next to her.- I think they did too much justice

REDGLARE: ...

REDGLARE: Mph.

REDGLARE: You 4lso brought b4ck th3 s1lly... m4sk m4n 4ct.

REDGLARE: 4t l34st 1t s3rv3d 1ts purpos3.

DAVENFORTH: Got something against dave skellington movies

DAVENFORTH: Icon

REDGLARE: 1 th1nk 1 w4s cl34r 3nough.

REDGLARE: S1lly.

DAVENFORTH: Sex symbol

REDGLARE: uh-huh.

DAVENFORTH: -Sighs- Were gonna have a marathon when we get back im gonna get you an entire devils food cake and everything

REDGLARE: Th4t's...

REDGLARE: -snorts.-

REDGLARE: opt1m1st1c.

REDGLARE: You'll t3mpt th3 odds. Just c4ll 1t 4 sl1c3.

DAVENFORTH: Like youd just want a slice

REDGLARE: -PUNCHES HIS ARM-

DAVENFORTH: -Doof. He grins a little- So two slices huh

REDGLARE: M4yb3.

REDGLARE: On3 4nd 4 h4lf.

DAVENFORTH: One and three fourths

REDGLARE: You know wh4t.

REDGLARE: Sur3.

DAVENFORTH: -Puts an arm around her. He's just glad she's alive.- About time i win one

REDGLARE: Oh, shut up. You k1ll3d 4 world l34d3r.

DAVENFORTH: I had help

REDGLARE: Sudd3n bout of hum1l1ty?

DAVENFORTH: Sudden bout of getting crushed

DAVENFORTH: Probably would have a lot more worse for wear if it hadnt been for roxanne

REDGLARE: Oh.

REDGLARE: H4.

DAVENFORTH: I got sloppy and almost lost an eye or life for it you know whichever

DAVENFORTH: Not that ill get sympathy from you

REDGLARE: couldn't poss1bly 1m4g1n3 wh4t th4t's l1k3.

DAVENFORTH: Nope only me

REDGLARE: ...

REDGLARE: Won't b3 4bl3 to do much l1k3 th1s. Sp34k1ng of.

DAVENFORTH: Well get you back up and running

REDGLARE: 1'm not runn1ng 4nywh3r3. C4rry m3. 4ss.

DAVENFORTH: Like a bara princess

REDGLARE: Wh4t do3s th4t m34n.

DAVENFORTH: Ripped to shit

REDGLARE: Oh.

REDGLARE: Y3s.

JOHN: - I didn't get to rp it but you can bet your ass John vigorously rubbed himself on Dave, Aradia and Dirk. Because! He was worried! And he missed them! For Dave it's extra vigorous. -

DAVE: -JUST STEER CLEAR OF THE BACK and we will be good-

JOHN: - Hair gets floofed and refloofed-

JOHN: - Also you get more medical attention because he doesn't trust these non uu people to do it right. -

DAVE: -be my servant-

JOHN: -after all the emotional reunions and fussing over everyone as much as they'll allow him....john honestly feels kind of uneasy and restless. eventually he finds himself sitting on the ground with his knees crossed, dumping out every piece of medical equipment in his sylladex and carefully cataloguing it. it's probably not necessary but he just really needs something to do.-

DAVE: -plops next to John and sits- hey

KANKRI: -It sure was kind of crazy with all the reunions, and after he was settled he managed to find John....dumping stuff on the floor with Dave.-

KANKRI: -Awkwardly stays hidden at the doorway to the room to watch for now.-

JOHN: -taking down how much he has of everything on a little note pad. looks round at dave and only dave since kankri is being weird and evesdropping- hey, man.

DAVE: havent seen you in like a month

DAVE: crazy shit huh

JOHN: yeah. if i had to say the shit was anything, i might use the word crazy.

DAVE: what about ape shit

DAVE: we turning this all primate primape reverse darwins theory of evolution

DAVE: we start as fuckin advanced as hell creatures and then just go back to the monkeys

JOHN: is this your roundabout way of expressing that earth really blows because if so i grudgingly gotta agree..earth really blows.

JOHN: i mean i had expectations for how much it was going to blow but the batterwitch really hit it out of the park.

JOHN: which is impressive because the bitch banned base ball.

JOHN: how do you ban baseball.

JOHN: -SOUNDS REALLY BITTER AND HAUGHTY.-

DAVE: you cant ban baseball

DAVE: baseball lives on in our hearts or some shit

DAVE: you either hit a home run or strike out

DAVE: but seriously i forgot all about queen troll

DAVE: until like now

JOHN: i mean...i'll forgive you, seeing as you had a lot of shit on your plate.

JOHN; ...baseball puns.

JOHN: and i'm really glad you were able to make

JOHN: a home run.

DAVE: ... DAVE: terrible

JOHN: c:

DAVE: how would i have gone another day without your goofy ass

JOHN: -feels the urge to hug him again, but he just leans on him instead.-

JOHN: -what if he just kind of sits on all his friends and protects them.-

JOHN: -crushes them lovingly under his ass.-

JOHN: -would this protect them from the 10 billion things that want to kill, hurt and take them away from him.-

JOHN: -these are the questions.-

DAVE: -lets it happen. He can't get too mushy even if he wants to scoop his best friend up in a hug and just stay like that for ten hours. So that's the most he can do. Let him- who the fuck vacations in minnesota

JOHN: -it's okay dave. he understands strider psychology by now. he knows u love him.-

KANKRI: -Finally walking in after watching that whole exchange.- I think that at least s9me pe9ple must have, at the very least 6ef9re all 9f these redicul9us new take 9ver laws that have 6een implemented. Perhaps they name f9r the scenery.

JOHN: maybe they tried to get out of minnesota but they couldn't, so they made the best of it.

JOHN: -ends up talking at the same time as kankri ???-

KANKRI: -Its like they are linked. Except not.-

KANKRI: -Also he is just going to casually sit on the other side of John.-

KANKRI: What are the tw9 9f y9u up t9?

DAVE: its minnesota

JOHN: talking about minnesota and dancing around the fact that dave adores me.

JOHN: -just sitting there like :)-

KANKRI: Yes it is? And what a69ut it 6eing Minnes9ta makes it less desira6le then anywhere else?

JOHN: i'd say "it's an earthling" thing but

JOHN: i don't think that's a thing anymore.

KANKRI: I d9n't kn9w, I think that there still can 6e "earthling things." 

KANKRI: Whatever they c9nsist 9f anyways.

JOHN: then thinking minnesota is a snowy boring wastleland is probably one of them, to answer your question.

JOHN: although idk this place looks pretty nice.

KANKRI: It has 6een the nicest part 9f earth I have visited s9 far.

KANKRI: Then again I d9nt feel like I have adequate experiences t9 c9mpare it t9...

DAVE: -literally just watching them talk so easily with each other and kankri hasn't even gone on a rant yet-

KANKRI: -That's because he feels like he doesn't really need a lot of words for John to get him.-

DAVENFORTH: -In the cool of the morning he finds himself sitting lake side, holding a mirror up to his face and peeling at the bandages around his eye. Great, yeah that was definitely gonna scar. At least he could see, even if it was a bit blurry. His face was started to heal up too, the swelling starting to subside despite there still being bruising.-

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 26, Prezidankal Coup

[[The doors stand close, looming and kinda greasy for when dem boys am arrive]]

DAVENFORTH: -HOL UP. We dem boyz.-

ROXANNE: -That us.-

DEREK: -looks the door over. huh.- We just bustin in?

ROXANNE: Looks weak enough like we could if we gotta'.

DAVENFORTH: Im takin my house back -He gonna kick it open-

DEREK: -SUCK MY DRAGON BALLZ BITCH CALL ME GOKU-

[[the door is so greasy and so easy to open that if Davenforth isn't carefull that kicking could make him fall into a full split]]

[[Upon entering the newly decked out captial of pimposity they will be faced with an intricate maze of mirrors. Oooooh aaaaah.... how annoying]]

ROXANNE: -Makes a face.- This shit is dizzying.

ROXANNE: Also ya'know always thought i wanted to visit the white house until now.

DAVENFORTH: -Takes off his mask and ventures in-

DAVENFORTH: I mean honestly fuck the white house but yeah it aint deserve all this

ROXANNE: -Walking in.- So weapons out now, or nah?

DEREK: -THE SWORD ALREADY OUT- ...

DAVENFORTH: -He brought rebellion for this one-

[[To be honest it's all kind of bullshit. And to make it bullshittier almost immediately there's already there’s some lanky cackling human slipping between the walls with TWO SWORDS. He flips them all around like crazy while laughing maniacally. This is the host. Where are your tickets?]]

ROXANNE: -Thats all the okay she needs, say hello to her semi-automatic, and a belt of reloads.-

ROXANNE: Mmm.

DEREK: -pretty hot roxanne. ngl.-

DEREK: ... Bro you need to chill.

ROXANNE: -Thanks, she tries.-

DAVENFORTH: Real talk

DAVENFORTH: How much you wanna bet ro pegs this motherfucker one shot

2SWRD: =Tazmanian devil noises, this is his real talk. He stammers and points a sword at them... they're tapped to his hands=

DAVENFORTH: Seriously

ROXANNE: Better at long distance but I got somethin' for this, one sec. -Shoulders the riffle and decaptcha's the hand gun she got from Eridan. Shes been practicing with this one too.-

DAVENFORTH: Kinda hot roro

ROXANNE: -There is very little time before getting it and then she is firing two shots at sword guy.-

2SWRD: =CLANG CLANG, looks like he knows how to use those swords... look out he's pointy and a banoodle and oh yeah he's in a thong with full body paint. Fellas, lady. Your welcome. SWINGS SORDS=

ROXANNE: -Gdi.-

ROXANNE: -So many levels of uncomfortable with this guy.-

DAVENFORTH: This voldo ass motherfuck well looks like its my turn -Raises his shades for a split second and winks at Rox before charging at this bitch and stabbing at him-

ROXANNE: -Shoots him a brief smile for that, but she is still internally so many levels of "Fuuuck this."- Fuck 'em up.

DAVENFORTH: Just gonna warm em up roro this is a team effort after all dont you tag team

2SWRD: !??!!?!?! =MORE TAZ NOISES, Crosses swords with Davenforth and raspberries nasty spittle into his face while gibberish speaking=

DAVENFORTH: -GROSS MY GUY. Tries to push him back.-

2SWRD: =He is a lanky thing so he gets shoved back pretty easy. Stops. Turns. Runs arms flailing into the white house. Making siren noises=

DAVENFORTH: Uh

ROXANNE: -Can she shoot him now?? Shes gonna try, POW.-

DEREK: Bitch. Wheres he think hes goin?

[[You can see his many reflections on the mirrors, if he doesn't get too far at least]]

DEREK: ... -starts breaking mirrors near him with the hilt of his sword-

DAVENFORTH: -Same tho-

[[The bullet crashes through the mirrors and now with other mirrors being broken the sirens stop]]

DAVENFORTH: I meant three shots

ROXANNE: Damn.

ROXANNE: Well thanks for the confidence anyways.

DAVENFORTH: You got the next one babygirl

ROXANNE: -Steps further in and smashes one of the mirrors with her boot clad foot. Feels good destroying government property.-

DEREK: Fuck yeah.

DEREK: -advances, smashing up mirrors as he goes-

[[They clear out the mirrors to a certain point but the deeper into the maze the mirrors seem to go liquidy then completely clear and watery. A troll woman strides out of the shimmery surface and steps down onto the floor. Her gown and hair are flowing in a way that's so effortless but probably has some effort to it and she just stares at these three bozos.]]

ANGSTGTH: =Sigh=

ROXANNE: -Um.-

DEREK: Oh shit its Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way.

DAVENFORTH: Fucking preps

ROXANNE: -SNRK.- Wow.

ANGSTGTH: =SIGH= yOUr outDAted meMes aRe so.....

ANGSTGTH: =gurgles= grOdy

ANGSTGTH: guEss yOu goTta, lIKe... dIe. or whaTEver =SIGHHHHH=

ROXANNE: Us grody? Ya' seen the whole capital lately?

ANGSTGTH: uGh yEs

ANGSTGTH: eVRy dAy

DAVENFORTH: -Captchas Rebellion and pulls out his sword that matches his brothers.-

ANGSTGTH: =UGHH=

DAVENFORTH: Whats the chances of you fuckin off and lettin us through you dont have to expend effort or die and i keep my suit clean fair trade

ANGSTGTH: =Tsks=

ANGSTGTH: uGh wELl i mEAn

ANGSTGTH: i prETty mUCh gEt... nOt suCky benEFits???

ANGSTGTH: so.... yEAh...

ANGSTGTH: anYWay.....

ANGSTGTH: =holds her crystal ball and it glows hotly before shooting WHITE HOT or... red hot or blue hot.... rainbow beams of light at them. Fires her laser=

DAVENFORTH: -Jet noise as he flips out the way-

ROXANNE: -Thats really cool, but also really deadly. She's gonna duck.-

DEREK: -oh shit, he zips out of the way too. damn magical goths.-

ANGSTGTH: =SIGHHHSS= jUSt.... no..... =Just die, she wants to get back to brooding=

DAVENFORTH: -Flashsteps towards her but flips over her at the last minute, aiming a kick at her back-

ANGSTGTH: =DOOF, goes ragdolling into one of the mirrors= uuuuugGHhhhhhh

[[She disappears into the liquid silver, bloop]]

ROXANNE: Nice shot. But also what the fuck? -How she do that.-

ANGSTGTH: =The same way she emerges from another one, shooting bright yellow heat beams at Davenforth= rUDe uGh i lIKE

ANGSTGTH: waSHed tHIS, iT's a pAIn to lauNder hERe =gurgles=

DEREK: Oh damn.

DAVENFORTH: -Backflipping for his GODDAMN LIFE-

ROXANNE: -Its rude to shoot beams at people. Although now that there is distance between her and Davenforth, Roxanne is shooting to disarm her of the use of her arms, how do you like bullets heading for your shoulder.-

ANGSTGTH: =They suck like.... big time=

ANGSTGTH: =Her shoulder jerks and she winces, clenching teeth atthe bullet in the shoulder= my tOp UUGGGGGHHHHH, i cAN't croTChet lIKE tHIS

ANGSTGTH: gOd

ANGSTGTH: =lifts her uninjured arm charges up the crystal ball here comes a rainbow fire party everywhere but directly under it=

ROXANNE: -WELP.-

DAVENFORTH: Sorry ro -Flips and FLINGS Roxanne towards the girl. He's gonna....try and dodge this fuckery with flashsteps????-

ROXANNE: -DUDE.-

ANGSTGTH: =WHY? HER PERSONAL SPACE?? Doof! That startles her enough that the crystal ball goes wobbling out of her hands= oh my gOOOOOOOOOOOOOd! =Today is just... #TheWorst=

ROXANNE: -But also sort of thanks. well if she is going to be anywhere in proximity shes going clubbing with the butt of her hand gun.-

ROXANNE: -NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR BAD DAY LADY.-

ANGSTGTH: =AND she's hit in the face? RUDE.=

ROXANNE: -B)-

DEREK: -oh shit, slides to snatch up the crystal ball as it rolls away, after he TOO flash steps around the fuckery. assuming it doesn't just break...-

[[The ball doesn't break, it's just hecka warm. Meanwhile her mirrors are still liquidy and glowing and she's laying on the ground. Today. BLOWS.]]

ROXANNE: -Gently kicks her with her foot.- 'Kay that went alright.

DEREK: Ooo fuck hot potato. -bounces it between his hands a couple times before he sticks it into his sylladex.-

DAVENFORTH: -Skids to a halt, panting a little.- Alright lets go

ROXANNE: -Causally reloads.-

ANGSTGTH: uGh yOUr shOes aRe diRty sTOp >:(

ANGSTGTH: nooooooooooo UGGGHHHHHHH

ANGSTGTH: =Sighs and lays here, reciting poetry about her shitty day=

ROXANNE: What about goth girl here. -Doof punt pow. Keeps sticking her foot on her.-

ANGSTGTH: MMNNGNGNGNNG

DAVENFORTH: -Walks over and poises his blade over her face.- Occupational hazard

ROXANNE: -She backs up, hands up, giving Davenforth the space.-

ANGSTGTH: =SIGH= i mean =shrugs on arm= yEAh

DAVENFORTH: -Doesn't think about it, just stabs down. Then he lifts it back up, walking forward like nothing happened.-

[[DED]]

ROXANNE: -Gonna try not to commit that image to memory. Store it away for later, Roxanne.- .............

ROXANNE: -Cool shes good lets roll.-

DEREK: -whoops, he doesn't seem all that phased by this. it's almost like they've done this shit before.-

DAVENFORTH: Fuckin annoying holy shit -He keeps pressing forward-

ROXANNE: Mhm. How many of this side show freaks ya' think we gonna' run into?

DAVENFORTH: As many as we gotta put in a casket i guess

[[Here they are.... The end of the maze and an arch to even celebrate that. How simple..... TOO SIMPLE. Or it’s just simple.One thing’s for sure it’s dusty as hell over there. Do they not sweep here? Probably not.]]

DAVENFORTH: All this shit and still no housekeeping unbelievable i bet barack is turning in his grave

ROXANNE: Where are the standards.

[[There are none]]

ROXANNE: -Terrible. Where is the nation's pride.-

[[There is none]]

DAVENFORTH: -It never had it-

DEREK: -shimmies thru the arch... expecting confetti... or some kind of indiana jones style booby trap.-

DAVENFORTH: -Walks through-

ROXANNE: -Shes going through last.-

[[It’s never that easy, let’s be honest here. As soon as they get closer the arch starts to waiver and then SPLATS onto the ground making a mess of water onto the dust that was on the floor. They will get wet.]]

ROXANNE: -W hy.-

[[Party]]

DAVENFORTH: ! -Jumps away-

ROXANNE: Eugh. This hole place makes me feel like im on drugs.

DAVENFORTH: You think this is what bein on drugs is like

DAVENFORTH: Kinda close

ROXANNE: 'Dunno never did any.

[[ The dust absorbs the water and builds up. It bubbles ominously and from the muddy slime googly-eyed skitter critters start to emerge. Damn. Those are some big seamonkeys.]]

DEREK: Well I know what were doin when we get outta here.

DAVENFORTH: Okay nevermind definitely like what being on drugs is like

DEREK: …

DEREK: Huh.

ROXANNE: Im too old for-- .........jeez.

[[They look slimy and crawl over each other, skitter critters. Like giant beetle/crossed silverfish]]

DAVENFORTH: What the fuck actually

[[Clickity clackity bug noises as they climb all over the walls and on the floor. If y'all thought roach problems were bad here comes the monkeys]]

ROXANNE: This is hell. -Okay switching to the big gun for this, strapping the hand gun on her belt and taking the safety off her rifle.-

DAVENFORTH: Im pretty sure youre right about that -Eyeing these creatures and their surroundings. -

ROXANNE: -Shes gonna test popping one right between its many eyes. Please let it be that simple.-

[[Thery're here to crawl right up your leg Davenforth. Also Roxanne does shoot and kill it. It gurgle clicks into a mound of slime and releases a cloud of noxious gas that'll make any sniffers dizzy. The slime is thick and slippery. They're not even attacking. They just exist and crawl around]]

DAVENFORTH: -EUGH. He kicks them off and starts backtracking away, until he gets a whiff. Trips and stumbles behind Roxanne.-

ROXANNE: -Finally she kills in one hit. Thank god. Except there is no god, not here.-

ROXANNE: About damn ti--nngnh. -Woah head rush. Shes quickly covering her mouth and nose.-

[[The more these critters crawl the slimier the floors and walls get, the slime faintly has that smell effect but as it builds up the scent gets stronger.]]

DEREK: -covers his mouth quickly before he catches too big of a WHIFF but mmmmmnnggg. this is getting hairy as the fumes spread... he grabs his wobbly brother with his free hand, and while he still has coordination, shoves him across the slime down the end of the hall. IT'S LIKE A WATER SLIDE, DAVE. HAVE FUN.-

DAVENFORTH: What the fu--- -Goes sliding past all these slimy heckers.-

[[WHEEEEE, he's too fast for the bugs, they're not even worried about him. They're just being adorable sea monkeys]]

ROXANNE: -They would be cute if they didnt stink.-

DAVENFORTH: -Coughs and shakes his head. Pulling himself up. Looks back at Derek and Roxanne.- What the shit are you doing asshole

DEREK: -JUST OK HANDS AT HIM. you got this. meanwhile, he's starting to cough too.-

DAVENFORTH: DEREK

[[Fumes: Are noxious]]

ROXANNE: -She got to put the safety on her gone shes too dizzy for this shit. Also fuck standing, Derek mind if she leans on you a bit.-

ROXANNE: Fuckin'..

ROXANNE: Gotta' get over there.

DEREK: -wheeze. hooks an arm around roxanne's waist to support her and waves the other arm at dave.- BITCH MOVE.

DAVENFORTH: You shittin me right now youre in the middle of a fucking stank cloud

KURLOZ: =Walks up behind Derek and Roxanne. Looking Davenforth in the eyes=

KURLOZ: 👍

ROXANNE: -Wow because thats not creepy.-

DAVENFORTH: -Has he seen this clown before?-

KURLOZ: =At the college, he organized them arriving there. Your welcome=

DAVENFORTH: -You bitch-

KURLOZ: =Taps Derek on the shoulder, and will support his weight if need be. Move your meat sack before you pass out and he isn't hoisting anyone tbh=

DAVENFORTH: You die im kicking your fucking ass twice over -Ugh. he keeps running. Guess the Oval office is soon.-

ROXANNE: -Clown bro how are you not suffering from the gas.-

KURLOZ: =He doesn't breathe, easy= :o)

KURLOZ: =Nods and is gonna guide them on outta there to fresh air=

ROXANNE: -Also wraps an arm around Derek, they will stay up together dammit. What do we say to death, not today.-

ROXANNE: -Also nudges him to move his ass.-

DAVENFORTH: -Nyooming down the hallway.-

[[The Oval Office is trashed with graffiti, the presidential seal on the floor updated with the ICP logo. There are discarded Faygo bottles everywhere. There’s also just magical STARDUST piled up on the desk and on the floor. There’s also this BITCHIN spiral staircase to the roof]]

DAVENFORTH: -Stops to take a selfie.-

DEREK: -HE'S NUDGED.- Aight Im movin Im moooovin. -MOVES. WOBBILY. but he glances back at where his brother was. he didn't want him to do this alone... he don't trust that motherfucker to NOT do something stupid.-

DAVENFORTH: -Heads on up that staircase-

ROXANNE: -Stop talking and breathing you DINGUS. Shes still dizzy as fuck but shes doing her best to guide them after the clown. Also yeah she is also really worried about Davenforth...-

ROXANNE: -For once please dont be an arrogant bastard, friend.-

DAVENFORTH: -Literally no guarantees-

ROXANNE: -Dont.-

DAVENFORTH: -8)-

[[The higher he ascends the stairs the more obviously he can hear the sound of beat boxing and fresh, muffled lyrics. The smell of Faygo is stale and sickeningly sweet. Gritty special stardust leaves a trail and once he gets up there... there they are. Jamming away]]

SHAGGY: =Check his baggy jorts, check his high white socks, check his Polo slippers and probably blank white eyes maybe. Or is that the stardust in the air Homeboiiii =

VIOLENT J: -everything was blue... his jorts, his jants, his japris...-

VIOLENT J: -but there is definitely something extra unsettling about this pair as they slam back this wicked elixer. the larger of the two wipes away the sugar liquid dribbling down his chin with an ashen pale arm, trashy tats glowing with some weird energy. discarding the half consumed bottle, he turns to davenforth with blank eyes framed by pitch black makeup.-

VIOLENT J: WELL SHIT LOOK WHO'S PUNK ASS DECIDED TO SHOW UP?? THIS RICH BITCH.

SHAGGY: UH OH FUCKO JAY. THE MAD MEDIA SHIT TALKIN, STALKIN BITCHASS DUDE GOT BALLS. SHAGGY: FOR NOW, BUT NOT LONG.

DAVENFORTH: -Rests his blade on his shoulder.- Wow just wow im impressed honestly

DAVENFORTH: Tell me guys

DAVENFORTH: Howd yall manage to look even less threatening in real life thats a real talent honestly

VIOLENT J: -belly laughs with an unsettling, undernatural kind of growl underlying it.- HOMIE AIN'T AS CLEVER IN PERSON. YOU THINK HIS SPOILED ASS HAVE SOME BITCH WRITING HIS TWEETS FOR HIM OR SOMETHING???

SHAGGY: YO, WHAT YOU TALKIN ABOUT HE IS THE BITCH! =Laughs, it's gurgling and layered while taking one last swig of his elixer=

DAVENFORTH: Spoiled aww come on we all cant live in the lap of luxury getting raised by wild dogs in the midwest -He's eying them, studying them and this fucking...what the fuck is this glowy bullshit anyway.-

DAVENFORTH: Losin your virginity to an ear of corn man that must have been wild times

SHAGGY: DON'T STALL YO. CAME UP HERE WITH A PAIR THEN YOU TREMBLED EM DOWN YOUR PANTS SUIT, FUCK! SHAGGY: TIME'S IS WILDIN OUT, COME GET YOUR WHOOPINS MONEYBAGS.

DAVENFORTH: -He smirks- Youre gonna feel this pair on your forehead before this is said and done with

DAVENFORTH: Be useful and hold this for me -He chucks his sword at Shaggy and flashsteps out of view, appearing behind Violent J, removing his suit jacket and trying to throw it over his head.-

SHAGGY: =Thats a sword incoming hot, spins his arm up and suddenly long, dark and shiny ropes are in his palm. He spins them and jams his ass on out the way. Whipping the ropes on over for them ankles my man. He gon latch=

DAVENFORTH: -Oh what the fuck. That sure is a rope latching around his ankle. He's got barely enough time to draw his pistols from his strife specibi. Tries to get off a shot or two before whatever is about to happen.-

SHAGGY: =If Davenforth looks down, he'll see the rope is Shaggy's greasy, lopped off dreads. Longer.... stronger, gettin their friction onger=

VIOLENT J: -damn, man. this is the nicest thing he's ever worn on his body. it's easy enough to dispose of, turning to throw this jacket back around dave's neck. the combob of jacket and dreads is intended to push and pull him down to the ground.-

DAVENFORTH: -Oh fuck! He lets out a strangled noise. Yeah okay, breath is suddenly hard to come by, he misses that commodity. Alright new target. He aims his pistols at Violent J's face, letting out a flurry of bullets.-

VIOLENT J: -TAKES A WHOLE BUNCH OF LEAD TO THE FACE... which, realistically, should kill a bitch dead. but instead he just... staggers, touching at bullet peppered face paint .- DAMN! FUCKOOOFFFF!

DAVENFORTH: -Tries to slip his own jacket from around his neck-

SHAGGY: =It's okay man bro he got you= YO, YOUR PAINT JAY. HOLD UP! =Snags ropes again and is going to flail and body slam Davenforth on the WhiteHouse Helepad. TARGET CENTRAL YO=

VIOLENT J: OHHHHH SPLASHED! -says while face... oozes...-

DAVENFORTH: -Pain shoots through his body and he lets out a pained noise. What the FUCK man? He's trying to shoot at Shaggy now, to get his legs free.-

SHAGGY: =NOT HIS JORTS, he takes many bullets. One to the knee and stumbles. Davenforth can feel the greasy dreadlocks writhe and squirm in pain as he does so. But they loosen=

DAVENFORTH: -He pulls his feet free, tumbling back and taking the time to reload. Eyes his sword. Starts flash stepping around and peppering them with bullets to confuse them.-

VIOLENT J: -wobbles around rather comically. WhOoOOOOoOOA!!! the bullets are disorienting and he's taking a few hits, but it doesn't seem to be doing much to him... he just keeps oooozing from the wounds.- THIS BITCH IS SLIPPERY!

SHAGGY: =He's not really looking any better, a frustrated wet sound bubbling up in side him as he leaks.= THEN LET'S GET SLIPERRYIER! =Whips the dreads again then slams them on the ground and they branch out wildly in different directions. Where's your feetsies Dave=

DAVENFORTH: -NAH FAM. Stows his pistols and whips past his sword, hupping it up and slashing wildly at dread vines. Don't you fuckers play videogames?-

VIOLENT J: -ONLY BACKYARD WRESTLING 2: THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD-

DAVENFORTH: -GOD DAMMIT-

SHAGGY: =Speaking of the dreads leave grease all on that sword but also here comes this lanky motherfucker, he's coughing up vicous fluids but not befor he tries for a good grip On Davenforth, are y'all ready for this?=

DAVENFORTH: -Are ya ready kids? He EXPLODES forward, propelling this grease ass sword at Shaggy again and trying to slide under this gross bile. He knew y'all bitches was sticky, but greasy too? HELL NAW-

SHAGGY: =SHUNK, he gets stuck with the sword and laughs giddily spilling all kinds of sloppy fluids while this sord protrudes from his lanky frame=

VIOLENT J: -time to tag team this shit again. he's RUNNIN' IN to grab dave from behind. they're all slippery now... but if he can get a grip, he's taking him to suplex city.-

SHAGGY: =Its a sammich=

DAVENFORTH: -Tfw you thought you were sliding home free but some fat clown motherfucker decides nah you out. There's a slight crunch as Davenforth is suplexed. he lets out a groan as the world spins for a bit, but it's not too long before he's trying to recover, get to his feet so he can plan his next attack.-

SHAGGY: =Will he get that plan though? Here comes a chest slap, look alive vulnerable human. That AND he's rockin a sword better than you could. DAMN=

DAVENFORTH: -DOOF! Grabs the hilt and drives it DEEPER, then tries to force it upward, all the while they're slipping across the roof.-

SHAGGY: =HRK! SPLORTS more nasty fluids on Davenforth as they slip, the sword is inching upward that's for sure and he's gonna try to drive them right to the edge= CAN YOU SURVIVE THE BIGGEST BASS DROP IN HISTORY PLAYBOY? =His voice even more distorted and offkey with itself=

DAVENFORTH: -Smirks at him- Fuckin drop it -Jumps and flips over him, yanking the sword out, and as he's twirling overhead opens his legs and rubs his nuts ALL ON HIS FOREHEAD. When he lands he slices at his neck. Give him the top first.-

SHAGGY: =There goes the sword and also his neck he done gets sliced=

DAVENFORTH: -Catches that head in his sylladex casually-

VIOLENT J: -OH FUCK!!! ok, he's not laughing anymore. his face twists with paint and ooze and rage, running at dave with beefy arms ready to clothesline.-

DAVENFORTH: -That's a lot of big coming at him all at once.- Oh shit big babys mad DAVENFORTH: -Tries to duck and slice at that leg-

VIOLENT J: -well if he's gonna try THAT then he's just gonna jump to tackle him instead.-

DAVENFORTH: -My guy. MY DUDE. BOOMF! Davenforth groans as he's just crushed by this meaty oozey mother fuck. He's pretty sure he heard something crack. Not sure on who but it happened....-

VIOLENT J: -he's about to hear something ELSE crack. time for a good old fashioned beat down, fists 2 face.-

DAVENFORTH: -OOF OOF OOF OOF. His face is just eating these blows like sunday brunch and his glasses crack. He's not bein a bitch tho, trying to throw his own blows back.-

ROXANNE: -Fresh air had done wonders for her head, it was killing her but at least she could see straight. See straight enough to drag herself to another roof top anyways. She meant it when she said she was going to cover these boy's asses, Davenforth doesnt get off the hook just because of noxious fumes.-

ROXANNE: -Shes had enough time to set herself up, finger steady on the trigger, eye piercing through the scope. As much as it sucked to see Dave getting his face beat on, this was a great line up for a shot. Eat rounds, clown.-

ROXANNE: -Pulls the trigger and shoots a bullet for right between Violent J's eyes. Rest in rip.-

VIOLENT J: -that ninjette got him square in the noggin, and despite all the blows he's taken to the face, this one has his thrown back, off of dave and left a twitching mess. not quite dead -- but not quite

functioning

either. it's like he's trying to get back to his feet but can't quite make it without flailing. WHAT EVEN IS HE? MAN, MACHINE, SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY?? one thing is for certain, he's about to be DECEASED.-

ROXANNE: -Hes nasty thats what. She may also be quietly congratulating herself on shooting the juggalo president.-

DAVENFORTH: -Coughs and sputters up some blood, dragging his ass up standing. Goddamn, he must have one hell of a guardian angel. Everything is blurry, not quite right...oh shit is that sunlight? Maybe that's why his noggin hurts so much...well that and the tenderizing it received. At some point his sword left his hand, he scrambles for it, trying to steady himself. The broken frames on his face are thrown aside, his left eye scarred by broken glass but whatever. Despite the searing pain he focuses. His sword passes through J's neck like a hot knife through butter, and that's another skull in the dex. Everything looks like a JJ Abrams movie but he can tell everything's on fire, with no means of escape. Wheezing a bit and choking up another bloody loogie he leans on his sword. He's kinda fucked ain't he?-

DEREK: -NOT QUITE. thanks to clown intel about the white house layout, and after fighting through a few more bullshit obstacles, a slightly battered brother emerges from the stairwell a few moments later, zipping over so dave can lean on him instead.-

DEREK: Hey... Looks like I made it just in time. Convenient. -notices the sunglasses have been fucked up, so he offers up his own to place on dave's face instead. that's why he has them in the first place, after all.-

DAVENFORTH: -Leans heavily on Derek, wheezing a little. Thanks for the shades though, maybe the pain in his head will subside a little.- You asshole -Coughs a little bit more, spitting blood to the side-

DAVENFORTH: I knew you didnt want these hands

DAVENFORTH: So whats your brilliant escape plan

DEREK: Well we got a getaway vehicle waitin... Considering we arent being discreet anymore... Why not fly to them? -we both have to have hoverboards, come on...-

DAVENFORTH: -Wheeze laughs at that, except it causes him to cough a little more blood.- DAVENFORTH: Think i punctured somethin but sure why the fuck not wheres everyone else though

DEREK: Ridin around in an ice cream truck.

DEREK: -takes out the hoverboard and helps dave to stand on it with him- You good? Like your not gonna go flailing into the wind after we take off right?

DAVENFORTH: -Gives him a bloody grin- Come on dude what kind of scrub do you take me for these headless scrublords

DEREK: -snorts- Ok cool. -keeps a tight hold of him though... and then they nyoom, ice cream truck bound.-

DAVENFORTH: -See, look Qirin. He's alive!-

QIRIN: =somewhere she is making this face: :/ =

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 27

DEREK: -after some time passes and folks get patched up, derek's nestled into whatever spot he can find... probably wedged up against the wall next to the back doors of the truck.-

ROXANNE: -Same, shes held up in the back as well, feeling weary as fuck after all of that. But, despite it all, she still cant manage to even entertain the thought of sleep and so she just silent wipes the gross paint off her face.-

DEREK: -looks over at her, sitting up a little more.- How you holdin up?

ROXANNE: -Wordlessly gives him a thumbs up.-

ROXANNE: Good as im gonna' get.

QIRIN: =is just screaming internally about this eye, but she takes out qtips, rubbing alcohol, and some gd tweezers to get all the junk out of Davenforth's face.=

DAVENFORTH: -HISSES loudly at her-

ROXANNE: -Take your medicine, dude.-

DAVENFORTH: -JUST TAKE THE FUCKING EYE HOLY SHIT-

QIRIN: You realize if I do not do this, you could potentially lose vision in your eye?

DAVENFORTH: Fuck it call me patchy ill get over it

DEREK: -glances at them... ok so people are still getting patched up-

QIRIN: You realize if you lose vision in your eye, your depth perception will be off until you relearn how to fight?

DEREK: -looks back at roxanne- We made a pretty sweet team back there though.

DAVENFORTH: You dont relearn how to fight you just get used to fighting with shitty perception just like you get used fighting with a searing fucking migraine

DAVENFORTH: These glasses arent even prescription

ROXANNE: Yeah, guess we did. ROXANNE: first time tryin to assassinate anyone, think it went pretty alright.

DAVENFORTH: -He won't admit how sloppy it was. How sloppy HE was...-

QIRIN: I do believe you would prefer fighting with adequate perception rather than the shitty variety. =tries to get him to stay put= I am certain you will thank me later. =Brandishes her tweezers. They're patterned with Hello Kitty.=

DAVENFORTH: -He's staying put, just complaining A LOT. Is he being himself? Is he upset? Who knows. Qirin, Derek, and Lif probably do.-

DEREK: Yeah. DEREK: -glances at the floor- Sorry again for draggin yall into this.

ROXANNE: -She is pretty sure Davenforth is just upset because he got his face pounded by juggalo zombie freaks. Its completely understandable.- ROXANNE: Well its done now at least.

DAVENFORTH: -He's upset because usually he'd be able to take this on his own despite the bullshit and YET.-

QIRIN: =Good. Because she's going for a broken piece right now= QIRIN: =Chimes in though= No need. We all survived with minor injuries being the worst of it.

DAVENFORTH: -Mocks her voice- We were all able to survive with minor injuries excpet for you davenforth

QIRIN: :|

DAVENFORTH: -Grumbles-

DEREK: -glances from the floor to roxanne again and rubs at the back of his neck.- Yeah. DEREK: Thanks Ro.

ROXANNE: -Dude.-

QIRIN: I meant to say that minor is not on the verge of death considering our track record.

ROXANNE: -Stares at Davenforth's rudeness before looking back at derek.- ROXANNE: No problem.

DAVENFORTH: -Grumbles-

QIRIN: =mocks his mocking of her voice= We were all able to survive with minor injuries including you, Davenforth. QIRIN: Congratulations.

QIRIN: c:

DAVENFORTH: Dont fuckin patronize me

ROXANNE: (Jeez.) -Someone is grumpy.-

QIRIN: =plucks a shard from his cheek= QIRIN: You believe that I am concealing surperiority under a layer of false kindness?

DAVENFORTH: -Hisses softly- Sometimes

DEREK: -snorts a little at the exchange-

QIRIN: =Just...stares out the window for a brief moment= QIRIN: =she inhaled, like it was hard to say.= You are right. I apologize. It all could have gone poorly for us on the lawn. QIRIN: I did not intend- =She sighed= I am only grateful you were not... =There was significant pause before she finished= ....injured further.

DAVENFORTH: -That's.....not quite what he's expecting. Still he's wincing at the pain and letting her do her job- DAVENFORTH: Yeah well thank you that shit didnt

DAVENFORTH: me too

QIRIN: =She's really grateful. Look at the expression on her face.= QIRIN: I will not lecture you, Davenforth. There is very little I can say that will not brand me a hypocrite. QIRIN: I am aware of the sacrifice needed in order to see victory to the end. QIRIN: You did well and what is more, you came out of it alive. =She squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.= Not many can stake claim to that. =The larger shards were out - she would focus on the slivers later. Once she started in the more sensitive area, she had numbed his face with a shot and carefully began extracting shards that had gotten into his eye.

DAVENFORTH: -Gdi why are you so sweet....-

[With Kurloz and Eridan's connections, the ice cream truck was able to bypass all the pesky road blockades in record time, and soon enter the midwest. Hopefully none of you ate any of the juggalo ice cream, lest you get a wicked bad tummy ache... At least there is respite at the lake house in Minnesota.]

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 22, Rebel Concert

[The night has finally arrived! It's amazing how many college kids you can even fit into this theater. Everything is up and running the lights are flashing, and dammit...It's lit. First, Davenforth makes his way to the stage.]

DAVENFORTH: Sup tonight everybody thanks for the turn out

DAVENFORTH: As we all know this country has been run by clowns in the past but in a figurative sense never this literal

MAYOR: -he is WAITING IN THE WINGS. extremely nervously, even for the CONSTANTLY SHAKING MAYOR-

DAVENFORTH: However theres no denying that history was made with probably one of the most bogus elections in the history of this nation and for that some friends and i decided to throw down for them

QIRIN: =She placed a hand upon the Mayor's shoulder and gave it a gentle pat. He'll do splendidly, she believes in him.= ^_^

DAVENFORTH: This concert these songs and deez nuts are dedicated to you two -His shades gleam at the camera as he kisses a peace sign at it.-

DAVENFORTH: Alright lets get this shit rollin

JEFF: =doing nerd things most definitely=

DAVENFORTH: Our first performer is guaranteed to warm your hearts with his vocal stylings as well as his charming good looks truthfully he needs no introduction but here it is anyway give it up for takoda

QIRIN: =claps from backstage=

ERIDAN: -Oh hey mayor, look at that. Where'd the soda bottle come from. Nobody knows but have a cold one anyway.-

MAYOR: !

RILEY: -IS THERE A FISH OVER THERE-

MAYOR: -HE WILL- MAYOR: -the sugar makes him jitter even more in fact but it's nice to have anyways-

DAVENFORTH: -Exits the stage and just pats the Mayor's back-

QIRIN: =soda wont help your vocal chords sir=

MAYOR: -soda helps everything-

GAIZKA: =He's an audience member for this. He's never had any good vocal chords or been particularly musically gifted... Besides he's been in the church eating snacks for the most part. Regardless, he is here, and he is chinhandsing at the stage.=

TAKODA: -HE'S HERE, scurrying out onto the stage, giving the crowd a lopsided smile.- HELLO, EVERYBODY. -greets them cheesily, settling himself in front of the mic- TAKODA: 1'M NO STRANGER TO TH1S WHOLE UH... FREEDOM F1GHT1NG TH1NG. THERE'S A LOT OF SACR1F1CES TO BE MADE, WHEN TH1NGS NEED TO CHANGE... BUT ABOVE ALL, 1 KNOW YOU HAVE TO STAY STRONG. TAKODA: BEL1EVE 1N YOURSELF, AND THE PEOPLE F1GHT1NG BES1DE YOU. TAKODA: ANYWAY, OKAY... HERE WE GO.

ERIDAN: -Hell no. He's here for security purposes. Wielding an actual assault rifle on his person in case anything gets the drop on them from above. Nobody look at him...-

GAIZKA: =Whoops and blows kisses.= ;o)

TAKODA: -GOSH-

GAIZKA: FuCkInG pReAcH.

TAKODA: CHANGES WON'T COME OVERN1IGHT FOR TH1S 1 PLEDGE TO F1GHT WE ALL HAVE BEEN DECE1VED TH1S 1S OUR REAL1TY

GAIZKA: MoThErFuCkInG inspirational as all HeLlS. =CHINHANDS...=

TAKODA: ARE YOU READY TO DO ALL THAT YOU CAN? TO STOP THE UNSTOPPABLE UNSTOPPABLE

DAVENFORTH: -He's not shocked by this at all. Gdi Takoda-

TAKODA: -HE SWAYS. WE GOTTA START ON AN UPBEAT NOTE, DAVE };) -

DAVENFORTH: -You beautiful hecker-

TAKODA: -NOW we can pick up the pace here-

TAKODA: 1 ONCE KNEW A GUY OBSESSED W1TH THE AFTERL1FE OH, WHAT A TERR1BLE DAY THAT WAS... HE REAL1ZED HE WASTED ALL H1S T1ME T1ME WAS T1CK1NG BY, AND HE'D BEEN LEFT BEH1ND AND AS THE CLOCK T1CK TOCKED H1S HEART D1D STOP AND EVERYTH1NG HE HAD WAS FUCKED

TAKODA: -this one is slightly more personal too...-

TAKODA: AND WHEN WE FALL, WE W1LL FALL TOGETHER NO ONE W1LL CATCH US, SO WE'LL CATCH OURSELVES

TAKODA: THE BEATEN AND THE BRU1SED, FORSAKEN AND ABUSED OH WHAT A GLOR1OUS DAY WE'LL HAVE, R1S1NG UP AND CLA1M1NG OUR DUES

TAKODA: NOW W1TH THE L1NE DRAWN 1N THE WET SAND YOU NEED TO TELL US WHERE TO STAND S1TT1NG WA1T1NG WATCH1NG ROTT1NG, EVERYTH1NG THEY WARNED US OF 1S TRUE NOW TELL ME WHAT WE'RE ALL SUPPOSED TO DO?

TAKODA: THEY'RE COM1NG AFTER ALL OF US W1TH EVERYTH1NG THEY'VE GOT

TAKODA: W1TH THE FURY OF A SOLD1ER WHO W1LL ANSWER TO H1S GOD

TAKODA: SO HOW W1LL WE FIGHT? ALL WE HAVE 1S LOG1C AND LOVE ON OUR S1DE

TAKODA: -AND HE'S DONE-

GAIZKA: =More adoring whooping, yes. :'o) He's so proud.=

DAVENFORTH: -Loud cheering from backstage!-

ERIDAN: -it was alright.-

RILEY: -lots of clapping-

TAKODA: -beams at the crowd, finding gaizka in particular with his smiles... and with a wave he hops away-

KURLOZ: =golf clapping in his booth=

DAVENFORTH: -He hop...-

GAIZKA: =Makes eyecontact and makes a kissy face.=

RILEY: -she's jittery. she hasn't performed for the public in a very long time and it always makes her nervous no matter how long she's been doing this-

DAVENFORTH: -Wait shit oh yeah he should intro the big lorge now-

DAVENFORTH: -Appearing back on stage just as wonderful and lovely and handsome as ever before.-

DAVENFORTH: Hell yeah thats how we get things started but whats that you want more well how about a nine hundred pound gorilla playing a saxophone

DAVENFORTH: Not fucking possible well we got the next best thing

DAVENFORTH: Its the scariest motherfucker you never heard of the massacrer of rainbows the goddamn grand highblood himself

DAVENFORTH: Also after this performance ill be lettin my brother and special guest take over hostin duties

DAVENFORTH: -Disappears backstage. he must change.-

GAIZKA: =Cheers for his caste brother from another mother (grub).=

HIGHBLOOD: =drops a pie on Davenforth as they pass. To help him prep. He's no stranger to performances, especially not doing so for his sweet rail whom he knows is watching. He feels it in his horn. Steps out on stage with a sax, yeah get ready for it childrens=

DAVENFORTH: -Passes this pie to the mayor-

MAYOR: -MESSILY EATS IT-

HIGHBLOOD: =he plays along with the guitar then pulls back sings into the mic= HIGHBLOOD: about time for anyone telling you off for all your deeds HIGHBLOOD: no sign the roaring thunder stopped in cold to read HIGHBLOOD: i get mine and make no excuses; waste of precious breath the sun shines on everyone, everyone love yourself to death

HIGHBLOOD: so you gotta fire up, you gotta let got you'll never be loved 'til you've made your own HIGHBLOOD: you gotta face up, you gotta get yours you never know the top 'til you get too low =LIKE HUMAN CLOWNS FOR INSTANCE WHAT THE FUCK CONDS. Anyway time for him to fuck it up on sax=

HIGHBLOOD: life isn't always what you think it'd be turn your head for one second and the tables turn and i know, i know that i did you wrong HIGHBLOOD: but will you trust me when i say that i'll make it up to you somehow, somehow =gets jazzy for the rest of this=

RILEY: -OH HELL YEAH-

ERIDAN: -wall eyed and distantly having an out of body experience. The actual Grand Highblood.-

GAIZKA: =Smooth jazz... Hells to the yeas.=

HIGHBLOOD: =he'll sing this one= another loose canoon gone bi-polar slipped down couldn't get much lower quick sands got no sense of humor, i'm stil laughing like hellllll

HIGHBLOOD: =soft in the mic= i created the sound of madness wrote the book on pain. HIGHBLOOD: somehow i'm still here, to explain, HIGHBLOOD: That the darkest hour never comes in the night. you can sleep with a gun. HIGHBLOOD: when you gonna wake up... when you gonna wake up and fight...

HIGHBLOOD: =And he's done, he backs on up and goes off stage once more=

RILEY: -aggressive clapping- NICE!

ERIDAN: -excusing himself to the hygieneblock for a moment to run some salt water thru his gills. Can't breathe. Nbd.-

ERIDAN: -all t his fucking god damn motherufcking anxiety.-

????: -Who the heck is this daft punk, power rangers lookin ass mofo behind stage. None other than Dave Skellington of course. Yes hello everyone. He gives a slight bow to ghb and nice little clap. The screen on his helmet lights up and the word "nice!" scrolls across.-

HIGHBLOOD: =ruffles Riley's hair and grins= many thanks sis =also eyeballs this broseph....bruh= :o)

????: - ":o)' He even has a little honk sound effect! Honk!-

MAYOR: -A the stage is vacated he is wheeling out some kind of... HUGE PILE OF FURNITURE. It's all supported by dollies and handcarts and what have you but it still effectively looks like a big barricade made out of trash, being wheeled out single handedly by a tiny carapacian in rags. He begins to climb up the heap once it's fully on stage, reaching the top and raising a bright red flag...- MAYOR: -Using his free hand he tugs down the rags around his face, pulls off his hood, and just sort of stares at the crowd for a good long while from atop his trash heap.-

????: ....

????: -BRUH-

MAYOR: -When he finally opens his mouth to sing, it is BOOMING and OPERATIC. And he starts marching back and forth across the barricade, waving his flag.-

MAYOR: DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING? SINGING THE SONG OF ANGRY MEN! IT IS THE MUSIC OF A PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN WHEN THE BEATING OF YOUR HEART ECHOES THE BEATING OF THE DRUMS

MAYOR: THERE IS A LIFE ABOUT TO START WHEN TOMORROW COMES!!!

RILEY: -okay this is making her a little TOO teary don't fuck up her makeup mayor-

????: -What the fuck though?-

????: !!!!

DEREK: -arms crossed while watching this- Daaaamn. Fuck it up lil dude.

QIRIN: 8D

MAYOR: -When he's done singing he just sorta looks at the audience again. Then he just sorta. Drops his flag on the floor and wheels the barricade away again, without ANY kind of ado.-

MAYOR: O_O

KURLOZ: =nice, claps=

????: -Offers him a TAB behind stage. You know who he is, little friend.-

MAYOR: -TAKES IT AND GUZZLES IT ALL-

????: -Gently elbows Derek. Come on lets go do the host thing.-

QIRIN: =she's clapping!! hell yeah carapacian power!=

DEREK: -nod nod. HERE THEY GO. he saunters on out to the stage.- DEREK: If that didnt get you hype then I dunno what the fuck will. DEREK: Oh yeah maybe our special guest here. DEREK: -gestures to the man beside him- The one and only... The supposedly dead... DEREK: Dave Skellington. DEREK: Come on give it up.

RILEY: -she has to fuck around a little- HOW DO WE KNOW IT'S REALLY YOU DAVE SKELLINGTON? -she yells from offstage-

DAVE: !!!! -Yes hello! He waves at the audience. His adoring fans. He never left you. Holds up his finger to the audience and flings a moonpie backstage at Riley.-

RILEY: -dodges-

DAVE: :D -Back to you guys! Gives Derek a thumbs up. You ever seen a pregnant lady do a dodge roll? You missed it backstage.-

RILEY: -rude ass motherfucker-

[HOWEVER. The audience is p excite. Sure, the chances of this being the ACTUAL Dave Skellington are fucking slim. That guy bit it forever ago. But this person was at least good at acting like they're a happy robot man and for that, they will cheer.]

DEREK: -snorts- Hey I dont blame anybody for bein skeptical. DEREK: But if you keep tunin in I promise youll get your questions answered. DEREK: Our next performer is reppin the carapacian community too. Shes one cool lady and shes got some important shit to say. DEREK: Come on out Qirin.

DAVE: -Mgs Alert sound from his helmet- !

ERIDAN: -guzzling water about the White Queen of Prospit happening on stage now. Flush it out the gills, Ampora. Just flush it out the gills.-

KURLOZ: =😒 can you take that shit elsewhere?=

QIRIN: =Here comes the (ex)Queen walking out onto the stage with a bowl drum. (It may look quite familiar to Dirk, actually.) She waves at the crowd.= QIRIN: Hello, patrons and viewers, friends and family, here or very far away. ^_^ QIRIN: The universe has never been more broken or divided, but especially in times like these, we must remember who we are. It is easy to waver from that and lose sight of our path, but despite the trials we face we must not lose sight of ourselves. Sentinels of Earth. Warriors of truth, justice, and peace. My dear children of Prospit. ...The dreaming dead. Here is to you.

DAVE: -Brother I'm dying in this thing how did I do it for so long...-

DEREK: -WHO EVEN KNOWS YA DINGUS. drags him back stage though.-

QIRIN: Many nights we've prayed with no proof anyone could hear. In our hearts, a hopeful song we barely understood. Now we are not afraid although we know there's much to fear. We were moving mountains long before we knew we could.

QIRIN: There can be miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe.

QIRIN: =The melody begins soft and sweet but it is soon evident that it's turning as metal as this drum.=

QIRIN: In this time of fear when prayer so often proves in vain hope seems like the summer birds too swiftly flown away. Yet now I'm standing here my heart so full I can't explain. seeking faith and speaking words I never thought I'll say.

DAVE: -He has the strangest heart boner right now....-

QIRIN: There can be miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe.

QIRIN: They don't always happen when you ask and it's easy to give in to your fears but when you're blinded by your pain can't see the way, get through the rain. A small but still, resilient voice says hope is very near.

QIRIN: Miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe.

QIRIN: You will when you believe.

QIRIN: =she began soft motions on the drum, her fingers hovering over the notes.= QIRIN: Well, I came home like a stone and I fell heavy into your arms. These days of dust which we've known will blow away with this new sun. QIRIN: But I'll kneel down, wait for now and I'll kneel down, know my ground. QIRIN: And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you.

QIRIN: So break my step and relent. Well, you forgave and I won't forget. know what we've seen and him with less now in some way shake the excess.

QIRIN: 'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you.

QIRIN: Now I'll be bold as well as strong and use my head alongside my heart. So tame my flesh and fix my eyes: a tethered mind freed from the lies.

RILEY: -cANT HANDLE THIS-

RILEY: -THE TEARS-

QIRIN: But I'll kneel down, wait for now and I'll kneel down, know my ground.

QIRIN: 'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you.

QIRIN: =she quickly transitioned to a new melody, moving along the drum once again.= QIRIN: The captivity of despair wrangles jurisdiction. The rule of Tyranny. Sorrow and fear of servitude. The victory and respect for a great journey.

QIRIN: We hope for liberation, we want our deliverance, we would be glad of redemption, with liberation. Deliver us, we celebrate happiness.

QIRIN: The brotherhood rejoicing, we delight in courage. the celebration of freedom and faith, Success of harmony and love, The victory and respect for a great journey.

QIRIN: We hope for liberation, we want our deliverance, we would be glad of redemption, with liberation. Deliver us, we celebrate happiness.

QIRIN: Respect for life, live with faith in freedom the magnificence of life, live with care.

ERIDAN: -Good thing he's hiding in the hygeineblock. The music is so loud, he can still hear it. Of all the songs to move his stupid bleeding bloodpusher, it's this one. Eridan scrubs the ridiculous violet tears from under his glasses. He feels like such a wriggler. Bluh.- ERIDAN: -after a while, he replaces the salt water with faygo. Guzzling the whole bottle down until the sugar buzzes in his veins anew. He'll blame it on that.-

QIRIN: We hope for liberation, we want our deliverance, we would be glad of redemption, with liberation. Deliver us, we celebrate happiness.

DAVE: -MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOHMYGOD-

DAVE: -Points at Qirin, ";)"-

RILEY: -literally just repeatedly (lightly) hitting derek's arm with the back of her hand to distract her from ALL THE FEELINGS-

DEREK: -babe PLEASE-

QIRIN: =fingerguns at Dave= ^u^

DAVE: -Pokes his head back out. The audience cheers! Yay. Being loved is nice. He's going to casually stroll up to the mic, kind of inspecting it. Then he taps on it, yep still working. Shortly there's a crackle and the sound of slightly heavy breathing. Dave goes to speak and well...this motherfucker sounds like Bane.-

DAVE: You would not believe, just how long it has been since I used my own voice. Yes, thank you very much Qirin. Your gilded voice has seeped into the very essence of our beings, striking a chord of resonance on our heart strings. Please, another round of applause for her.

RILEY: -what a dork-

DEREK: -HOOTS AND HOLLERS BACK HERE-

DAVE: A moment, if you will let me have it.

QIRIN: =hand flaps. Oh u.=

DAVE: No one cared about who I was until I put on the mask, and from there I created an identity, became a symbol. With this level of anonymity affords you...certain freedoms, and I took full advantage of them. For the most part of my career, I have been on your holovisions, in your theaters, and my message has been known. It is documented and clear. The dangers that have befallen this planet were...well to be expected. However, I am no longer just going to idly sit by and warn. I will take action. That is what this night is about. Hopefully, you will join us. I know that I was "murdered" some time ago. As you can see, this is further from the truth. My identity is still sealed. Tonight...I will reveal it. However, the time is not yet. There is a surprise you must receive first. Thank you...here is your next performer.

PENNY: -She walks out onto stage, looking a little jittery -- maybe like she's full of anxious energy -- and not exactly making eye contact with anybody. She grabs the microphone stand and pulls the mic closer, staring down into it before speaking.- PENNY: you dont know who I am. PENNY: but Im still up on this stage. and they dont know who you are?? but youre still on the stage of your fucking lives and its time to step up and perform!! PENNY: they aint taking me off it yet. -nods for the music to start-

PENNY: your backs against the wall theres no one home to call youre forgetting who you are you cant stop crying. its part not giving in part trusting your friends you do it all again and Im not lying. oh oh oh... standing in the way of control! yeah live your lives by the only way that you know know! Im doing this for you because its easier to lose and its hard to face the truth when you think youre dying. its part not giving in and part trusting your friends you do it all again but you dont stop trying. oh oh oh... standing in the way of control! Yeah live your lives by the only way that you know know! oh oh oh... standing in the way of control! well live our lives because were standing in the way of control! we will live our lives because were standing in the way of control! well live our lives because were standing in the way of control! we will live our lives, lives, lives! your backs against the wall theres no one home to call youre forgetting who you are you cant stop crying. its part not giving in and part trusting your friends you do it all again you dont stop trying! oh oh oh... standing in the way of control! yeah live your lives by the only way that you know know!

RILEY: -eyes glued to her sister. what a great voice she has too...damn-

PENNY: nobody showed you how to live? me either. get a steady job, couple kids act decent. but Ive been on a ten-speed thinking about the time as the sun sets like what would I do different if I hit rewind and did it again? PENNY: I tried to figure it out but nothing was coming to mind. remembered all my mistakes but the memories made me smile. I told the one that I loved that love would mean letting me go. even though I was afraid you gotta do some things on your own. PENNY: this one goes out to all the dreamers at sea this life is only what you want it to be and I want more, I want more, I want more, I want more! PENNY: you go to heaven when you die Im betting. youre still with me on the line? just checking. cause Ive been making fast friends, late at night the kind when the sun sets. like waking up and thinking honey why I do it again? PENNY: I came to in a cold sweat with a nosebleed feeling hopeless. thought I maybe might be dead til I got my pen sat down and wrote this. suddenly I felt fine inside a mind so full of ghosts. the darkest nights mean you see the stars the most. PENNY: this one goes out to all the dreamers at sea this life is only what you want it to be and I want more, I want more, I want more, I want more! PENNY: I used to knock on wood I used to never curse I used to think I could control the universe With my obsessive thoughts and what felt like a prayer I shouted to the sky dont let my family disappear. I used to feel alone I used to not belong but little did I know I had the power all along. the only thing to fear is never being scared.

[Suddenly, all the lights in the venue are out. The music starts to play. Some backlights turn on. WHO ARE THESE SILLHOUETTES?]

RILEY: off with your head dance til you're dead heads will roll heads will roll heads will roll on the floor [SURPRISE IT'S RILEY AND PENNY also known as Robyn Saint and that girl]

PENNY: glitter on the west streets silver over everything the rivers all wet you're all chrome

RILEY: dripping with alchemy shiver stop shivering the glitter's all wet you're all chrome

PENNY: the men cry out the girls cry out the men cry out the girls cry out the men cry out, oh no

RILEY: the men cry out the girls cry out the men cry out the girls cry out the men cry out, oh no

PENNY: off, off with your head dance, dance til you're dead heads will roll heads will roll heads will roll on the floor

RILEY: looking glass take the past shut your eyes mirror lies

PENNY: looking glass take the past shut your eyes mirror lies

RILEY: dripping with alchemy shiver stop shivering the glitter's all wet you're all chrome you're all chrome

PENNY: off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead

RILEY: off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead

RILEY: -GRINNING AT PENNY THO. THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME-

PENNY: -she's smiling too, and then taking a moment with the mic and then gesturing at Riley- everyone. my sister Robyn Saint!

PENNY: -finally scurries off stage-

RILEY: -waves at the people, laughing a little. nerves are out now thank god- surprise! not dead. louie, if you're watching...i'm sorry... but hey. let's take advantage of the time we got and play some songs most people know? or nobody knows. not my songs. anyway. let's get this thing going.

RILEY: -voice low and slow and sultry- welcome to your life there's no turning back even while we sleep we will find you

RILEY: acting on your best behavior turn your back on mother nature everybody wants to rule the world

RILEY: it's my own design it's my own remorse help me to decide help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure nothing ever lasts forever everybody wants to rule the world

RILEY: -looking at one of the cameras- there's a room where the light won't find you holding hands while the walls come tumbling down when they do i'll be right behind you

RILEY: so glad we've almost made it so sad they had to fade it ;( everybody wants to rule the world everybody wants to rule the world everybody wants to rule the world -have two middle fingers cameraward and a dramatic curtsy-

RILEY: paranoia is in bloom the pr transmissions will resume they'll try to push drugs that keep us all dumbed down and hope that we will never see the truth around so come on

RILEY: another promise another scene another packaged lie to keep us trapped in greed and all the green belts wrapped around our minds and endless red tape to keep the truth confined so come on

RILEY: -guitar time- they will not force us they will stop degrading us they will not control us we will be victorious so come on interchanging mind control come let the revolution take its toll if you could flick a switch and open your third eye you'd see that we should never be afraid to die -fist in the air- so come on

RILEY: rise up and take the power back it's time the fat cats had a heart attack you know that their time's coming to an end we have to unify and watch our flag ascend

RILEY: -here we go- they will not force us they will stop degrading us they will not control us we will be victorious

DEREK: - 😍 -

RILEY: thanks guys. my hair keeps getting in my face. how do you like it? it's long and shit. i'm lazy. RILEY: but something doesn't feel right with me being the only one up here... -looks quizzically around...obviously intentionally-

DAVE: -He's walking on stage with a microphone- Please, leave the acting to me Ms. Saint.

LIFERA: -👀 somewhere-

ERIDAN: -has slunk up to watch the concert from the rooftops. Eyes on the sky, he's listening rather. This is visually safer for him.-

RILEY: -perfect time for banter- i would if you, you know...were up here. someone's gotta pick up the slack.

DAVE: By all means, pick up as much as you want. I've been deceased for nearly a year, want do you want from me?

DAVE: -Stands next to her-

RILEY: and i've been declared missing. but i'm not missing anymore. he look dead to you guys? -gestures to the audience GET THEM ALL RILED UP-

DAVE: How do we know I'm not some sort of dastardly phantasm?

ERIDAN: -Watches the stars and keeps an eye out for any passing satellites. Incidentally, he thinks about his lusus while the crowd cheers away. Old man would be useful right now... But he would have hated it on Earth. The air tastes foul and Eridan would agree with him. For now, he keeps watch.-

RILEY: guess we'll have to watch you do your thing. that's enough proof for me.

DAVE: I guess it is time to give the people what they were promised. One surprise, to be followed by another.

DAVE: -He presses a button on his helmet and you can hear the air hiss out, before he undoes clasps around the helmet, carefully removing it and placing his shades over his eyes.-

DAVENFORTH: Sup boys and girls

RILEY: you're a real boy?!

DAVENFORTH: A real life honest to goodness boy hot damn who would have thought it - Sets his helmet down.-

DAVENFORTH: Surprise bitch the manager and the client are one and the same  

RILEY: i'm so fucking shocked i think you'll actually have to call up rihanna herself to do this next one with you. the audience may need some time to process that dave skellington isn't an actual robot, too.

DAVENFORTH: Well lets soothe em with a song

DAVENFORTH: Kick it barack

RILEY: -the guitar is staying out- i think i've had enough might get a little drunk i say what's on my mind i might do a little time cuz all of my kindness is taken for weakness

RILEY: now i'm fourfiveseconds from wildin and we got three more days til friday im just tryna make it back home by monday mornin i swear i wish somebody would dare me ooh that's all i want -looks over at dave. SHE IS HAVING A GOOD TIME-

DAVENFORTH: Woke up an optimist DAVENFORTH: Sun was shinin im positive DAVENFORTH: Then I heard you was talkin trash DAVENFORTH: Hold me back im bout to spaz

DAVENFORTH: -He's grinning into the mic-

RILEY: and i know that you're up tonight thinkin how could i be so selfish? but you called bout a thousand times wondering where i've been now i know that you're up tonight thinkin' how could i be so reckless? but i just can't apologize -closes her eyes- i hope you can understand

DAVENFORTH: If i go to jail tonight DAVENFORTH: Promise youll pay my bail DAVENFORTH: See they want to buy my pride DAVENFORTH: But that just aint up for sale

RILEY: -harmonizing time-

RILEY: now i'm fourfiveseconds from wildin' and we got three more days 'til friday i'm just tryna make it back home by monday mornin' i swear i wish somebody would tell me ooh, that's all i want

DAVENFORTH: Well the good news is i dont think we gotta worry about jail time after this

RILEY: nah. they'd have to catch us first. RILEY: but hey. with this new shocking revelation of yours, maybe the audience wants some alone time with you. RILEY: you know. that kind of long distance relationship lovin' after reuniting. RILEY: so i think i'll leave you guys alone for a little.

DEREK: -gdi riley-

RILEY: -WONK-

DAVENFORTH: If thats the case then let me get a little more comfortable -Presses a button on the brooch of his cape and POOF. There he is in a perfectly tailored suit. Crimson, of course.-

DAVENFORTH: Much better

DAVENFORTH: Yall ready to party

JEFF: =He is ready to party! :U =

RILEY: -walks off stage strumming her guitar-

DAVENFORTH: Then lets hit it

DAVENFORTH: American hypocrisy oh let me count the ways DAVENFORTH: They came here seeking freedom and they end up owning slaves justified it using what christianity would say religion dont mean shit theres too much ego in the way DAVENFORTH: Thats why isis is in crisis but in reality this country do the same shit take a life and call it righteous

DAVENFORTH: For real i though this was thou shalt not kill DAVENFORTH: But police still letting off niggas in the ville DAVENFORTH: Claiming that he reached for a gun

DAVENFORTH: They really think we dumb and got a death wish DAVENFORTH: Now somebodys son is laying breathless DAVENFORTH: When i was a little boy my father lived in texas DAVENFORTH: Pulled up in toyota drove that bitch like it was lexus DAVENFORTH: Put my bag in his trunk and headed off for dallas DAVENFORTH: Out there for the summer feeling just like i was alice DAVENFORTH: Lost in the wonder land where niggas still suffering DAVENFORTH: Just like they was back home and thats wrong

DAVENFORTH: I had a convo with the president i paid to go and see him DAVENFORTH: Thinking bout the things i said id say when i would see him DAVENFORTH: Feeling nervous sitting in a room full of white folks DAVENFORTH: Thinking about the black man plight think i might choke nope DAVENFORTH: Raised my hand and asked a man a question DAVENFORTH: Does he see the struggles of his brothers in oppression

DAVENFORTH: Change is slow always has been always will be DAVENFORTH: But fuck that ima bust back till they kill me DAVENFORTH: Change is slow always has been always will be DAVENFORTH: But fuck that ima bust back until they kill me DAVENFORTH: You feel me

DAVENFORTH: Heres a thought for my revolutionary heart DAVENFORTH: Take a deeper look at history its there to pick apart DAVENFORTH: See the people at the top they get to do just what they want DAVENFORTH: Till after while the people at the bottom finally get smart DAVENFORTH: Then they start to holla revolution tired of living here destitution DAVENFORTH: Fuck that looting can you tell me whats the best solution

DAVENFORTH: -Somehow he got a stool, and he's sitting on stage, casually lighting a blunt.-

DEREK: -snickering about it-

RILEY: -rolling her eyes but she's laughing too-

DAVENFORTH: Hands up everybody run DAVENFORTH: Dave outside and he say he got a gun DAVENFORTH: Niggas like man that's what everybody say DAVENFORTH: Go and pop the trunk and everybody dead DAVENFORTH: Everybody scared of the nigga DAVENFORTH: Aware that the nigga is better DAVENFORTH: All my bitches the pick of the litter DAVENFORTH: Never bitter DAVENFORTH: Niggas is faker than anime DAVENFORTH: Me i never hate, get cake like anna mae woah DAVENFORTH: Eat the cake bitch eat the damn cake DAVENFORTH: Fuck good nigga we demand great DAVENFORTH: Order dominos and she take off all her clothes DAVENFORTH: Nigga you know how it goes make the pizza man wait DAVENFORTH: The best kept secret DAVENFORTH: Even hoes try and keep it and i leak the damn tape DAVENFORTH: Rest in peace any nigga want beef DAVENFORTH: Even secret service couldnt keep the man safe

DAVENFORTH: -He's grinning and vibing to the hook, blowing smoke-

DAVENFORTH: This is the part that the thugs skip DAVENFORTH: Young nigga never had love DAVENFORTH: You know foot massage back rub shit DAVENFORTH: Blowing bubbles in the bathtub shit DAVENFORTH: That is until i met you DAVENFORTH: Together we done watch years go by DAVENFORTH: Seen a river of your tears go by DAVENFORTH: Got me thinkin' bout some kids still i DAVENFORTH: Tell them hoes come through DAVENFORTH: Get to know somebody and you really learn a lot about em DAVENFORTH: Won't be long for you, start to doubt em DAVENFORTH: Tell yourself you better off without em

DAVENFORTH: Come and dance

DAVENFORTH: -Now is when he stands-

DAVENFORTH: This ones a little personal

DAVENFORTH: This goes out to everyone that told me i wouldnt be shit

DAVENFORTH: Before the red cups and the backwoods smoke DAVENFORTH: Me and mom in the shack in the woods bro DAVENFORTH: I was sleepin on the floor with the oven door open DAVENFORTH: While i dreamt about the places that i would go DAVENFORTH: We would go door to door to door all day DAVENFORTH: We were begging em to lay up in the foyer DAVENFORTH: I was sittin with the hookers in a motel hallway DAVENFORTH: Waiting on a blind audition like its broadway DAVENFORTH: Now these madams looking like a fleet of foxes DAVENFORTH: Rat pack chief of staff like sinatra DAVENFORTH: Eat drink swank nigga thats the mantra DAVENFORTH: Betta stand when i speak nigga fix your posture DAVENFORTH: Chief dont run baby word to poppa DAVENFORTH: Wanted me to be a lawyer engineer or doctor DAVENFORTH: The new godfather keep your old mobsters DAVENFORTH: Matter fact you can keep your old oscars DAVENFORTH: Its tomorrow never dies now DAVENFORTH: Im on yacht with a prince in dubai now DAVENFORTH: Im with the dalai lamas homies in the sky lounge DAVENFORTH: Cocktails got me loosenin my tie now DAVENFORTH: They say a prophet never honored in his homeland DAVENFORTH: Thats fine id rather have my own land DAVENFORTH: Gotta plan for a hundred roman numerals DAVENFORTH: Long live the chief nigga, welcome to your funeral

DAVENFORTH: Chief dont run shaggy

DAVENFORTH: It's my time, hit the gong out here DAVENFORTH: They gon need to build a bigger wall out here DAVENFORTH: I live a different set of laws out here DAVENFORTH: Know my rights even when im in the wrong out here DAVENFORTH: Look what we did with one song out here DAVENFORTH: Like a locksmith opened every door out here DAVENFORTH: You dealing with a king not a kong out here DAVENFORTH: You a pawn but we can get along out here DAVENFORTH: You in my house actin too free though DAVENFORTH: We know you foul nigga two free throws DAVENFORTH: Chiefy chiefy in a new chief cloak DAVENFORTH: I aint even said a word but my suit bespoke DAVENFORTH: I got a new agenda that i gotta carry through DAVENFORTH: When your fathers enemies are tryna bury you DAVENFORTH: And the royal families are tryna mary you DAVENFORTH: Long live the chief nigga welcome to your funeral

DAVENFORTH: Violent j and shaggy the chief is comin prepare those asses

DEREK: -yaaaaaaaaas-

DAVENFORTH: -Snrks at his own comment-

RILEY: -SO MUCH CLAPPING-

DAVENFORTH: Thanks ladies and gents for takin this oh so well but theres still better yet

DAVENFORTH: You know the goofy guy in the hat well thats my brother and him and the ever dope robyn saint are gonna do some songs for yall dont fret though ill be back

DEREK: -come on babe. he places a hand on her back while they both head out onto the stage again, gesturing with his other hand for davendork to move it.-

DAVENFORTH: -Blows smoke in Derek's face as he passes by-

DEREK: Fuckin rude.

QIRIN: =She's just clapping from backstage! Heck!=

RILEY: -here they go. she waves at the crowd with derek beside her- the sock's off the door so...i figured we would be in the clear. RILEY: anyway. hey again. this goofy guy in the hat? RILEY: i'm kinda in love with him. -makes a THIS LITTLE gesture- kinda. RILEY: i think we need another stage name though. robyn saint and goofy guy in the hat doesn't really flow.

DEREK: -grins at her. YEAH BITCHES ROBYN SAINT IS IN LOVE WITH ME.- DEREK: What about Robyn Saint and the Weird Puppet Guy?

RILEY: -gives him a look.- yeah. for anybody that knows my obscure shit from way in the beginning, this is weird puppet guy. RILEY: i think we have to get past the puppets at this point. no room for felt on this stage.

DEREK: Yeah well see about that.

DEREK: For now lets get this show on the road.

RILEY: -rolls her eyes- i guess we gotta. let's do this.

DEREK: -snickers and bobs his head as the music starts up-

DEREK: You think its over now. You think well go away. But we keep climbing up. You cant keep us down.

RILEY: a temporary no this shit is not for play we're not your typical that ain't what we're here for -walking the stage a little-

DEREK: Its time we light it up. Our matchs to the grade. The tensions driving in. We aint looking down.

RILEY: watch how we take the throne drop like a cannonball we take the lead, no we're never gonna follow -shakes her finger-

DEREK AND RILEY: Don't they know, the speaker is about to explode? Don't they know, this building is about to blow? This building is about to Blow

DEREK: Three years of digging holes. Been burning through our clothes. Yeah we keep on rising high. You can't touch us now. -bouncing around her with a grin-

RILEY: -grins at derek- we give it every night our hearts are dynamite we spit that fire -looks at the audience- so you better listen up

MYPOST DEREK AND RILEY: Don't they know, the speaker is about to explode? Don't they know, this building is about to blow? DEREK AND RILEY: Don't they know, the speaker is about to explode? Don't they know, this building is about to blow? This building is about to Blow

DEREK: Bang bang here we go. Everythings about to blow.

RILEY: our moment's going up blast it up and lift it up sky high sky high here we go 'bout to fly

DEREK AND RILEY: Don't they know, the speaker is about to explode? Don't they know, this building is about to blow? This building is about to Blow

RILEY: uh-oh, running out of breath, but i oh i, i got stamina uh-oh, running now, i close my eyes -closes her eyes- well, oh, i got stamina -opens them- and uh-oh, i see another mountain to climb but i, i got stamina uh-oh, i need another lover, be mine -leans her head against derek's shoulder and turns away from him- cuz i, i got stamina

DAVENFORTH: -That's his family y'all-

RILEY: don't give up, i won't give up don't give up, no no no don't give up, i won't give up don't give up, no no no

DEREK AND RILEY: I'm free to be the greatest, I'm alive I'm free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest The greatest, the greatest alive The greatest, the greatest alive

RILEY: well, uh-oh, running out of breath, but i oh, i, i got stamina uh-oh, running now, i close my eyes but, oh, i got stamina and oh yeah, running through the waves of love but i, i got stamina and oh yeah, i'm running and i've just enough and uh-oh, i got stamina

RILEY: don't give up, i won't give up don't give up, no no no don't give up, i won't give up don't give up, no no no -shakes her finger at the camera-

DEREK AND RILEY: I'm free to be the greatest, I'm alive I'm free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest The greatest, the greatest alive The greatest, the greatest alive DEREK AND RILEY: Oh-oh, I got stamina Oh-oh, I got stamina Oh-oh, I got stamina Oh-oh, I got stamina

DEREK: Hey I am the truth. Hey I am the wisdom of the fallen. I'm the youth. Hey I am the greatest. Hey this is the proof. Hey I work hard pray hard pay dues hey. I transform with pressure Im hands-on with effort. I fell twice before my bounce back was special. Letdowns will get you and the critics will test you. But the strong will survive another scar may bless you.

DEREK AND RILEY: Don't give up (no no), I won't give up (no no) Don't give up, no no no (nah) Don't give up, I won't give up Don't give up, no no no

DEREK AND RILEY: I'm free to be the greatest, I'm alive I'm free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no) The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no)

DEREK AND RILEY: The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no) The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no) The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no) The greatest, the greatest alive (I got stamina) The greatest, the greatest alive (I got stamina) The greatest, the greatest alive (I got stamina)

DAVENFORTH: -Probably swaying with Qirin. Don't mind him he's a little high, to take the edge off.-

RILEY: -grabs his hand and gives him a smooch- he's got some stuff to show off. thanks for having me tonight. dave and dirk if you're listening or watching or whatever wherever you are -- don't give up. i love you. RILEY: -she bows and makes her exit-

DEREK: -watches her go before he turns back to face the audience.- DEREK: Yeah so. Im some nobody who happens to be Robyn Saints man and Dave Skellingtons brother. DEREK: Unless youre a part of some niche fetish communities in which case I am definitely a somebody you know. DEREK: But we can save that discussion for another time. -paces around the stage while he talks- DEREK: Truth is I wanted to put this together cuz I wanted to send out a message to people. One of hope and empowerment through somethin positive. Somethin anybody can do. DEREK: Art. Expression. DEREK: This shit goin on now aint nothin new... Though it has hit a whole new level of whacky thats for damn sure. Long before the alternian empire planted their roots here Ive been dealin with oppression. My brother and me bounced around from foster home to foster home cuz nobody wanted us. DEREK: We had to fight to live. And we made a name for ourselves in our own ways.

DEREK: And then the alternians took my son from me. -pauses his pacing, looking at the audience with furrowed brows- DEREK: I let my anger and my hatred twist me up into somethin awful. I was afraid. I was a coward. It drove me to do shit thats no better than what I went through growin up and it became this vicious cycle. DEREK: I couldve poured all those feelings into something that fucking mattered. I couldve fought back. I couldve protected my remaining son. But I was afraid. I was one man. Because I thought it was over for me... I thought there was nothin left. DEREK: -sighs, pacing again- Point is... DEREK: Yall are livin in a scary word right now. But you gotta fight. You gotta use that fear. DEREK: Youll be makin a better world for yourself. For your family. For billions of folks who deserve a chance to be happy.

DEREK: Dirk. Dave... Russet and Ryan. Im gonna make a better world for you. -STARTS THE MUSIC-

DAVENFORTH: -Damn bro-

RILEY: -she's totally crying backstage-

RILEY: -god damn it derek-

DEREK: This is the beat we dance to. Tribal warfare let the rhythm prepare you. Theres too much fear and we’ve been given a handful. Its time to break out aint no need to be careful. Ground breaker movement maker. Too many sleep walkers we need a wake up. Dont believe what you see cuz what is you see is fake. If triple zs is the steez we gon need a shake up.

DEREK: Even if Im 1 in 100000. Imma stay strong never backing down from. Anything that comes Imma stand my ground son.

I give you my word thats one you can count on.

DEREK: -COME ON EVERYBODY GET HYPE-

DEREK: Weve been at war too long its time to make art. Too much TV my brains scarred. Smokes and mirrors its hard to take part. The rhetorics flat so I must stay sharp. There's too many sheep and not enough brave hearts. If youre ready for roll then lets go.

DEREK: Even if Im 1 in 100000. Imma stay strong never backing down from. Anything that comes Imma stand my ground son. I give you my word thats one you can count on.

DAVENFORTH: FUCK DAVENFORTH: IT DAVENFORTH: UP

DAVENFORTH: -Jamming backstage-

DEREK: So just bounce to this. Go ahead and get down to this. I can go for round for round on this. And Im a man of my word so you can count on it.

RILEY: GO BABY!

DEREK: Alls my life I has to fight. Alls my life I... Hard times like yah. Bad trips like God! Nazareth Im fucked up. Homie you fucked up. But if God got us then we gon be alright.

DEREK: We gon be alright. We gon be alright. We gon be alright. Do you hear me do you feel me? We gon be alright.

DAVENFORTH: -Anyone unfortunate to be backstage with Davenforth is gonna get a double helping of these rhymes.-

DEREK: -definitely singing these hooks I just didnt wanna edit them whoops-

DEREK: When you know, we been hurt, been down before. When our pride was low lookin' at the world like "where do we go?" And we hate Popo wanna kill us dead in the street for sure. I'm at the preacher's door. My knees gettin weak and my gun might blow but we gon be alright.

DEREK: We gon be alright. We gon be alright. We gon be alright. Do you hear me do you feel me? We gon be alright.

DEREK: When you know, we been hurt, been down before. When our pride was low lookin' at the world like "where do we go?" And we hate Popo wanna kill us dead in the street for sure. I'm at the preacher's door. My knees gettin weak and my gun might blow but we gon be alright.

DEREK: I keep my head up high. I cross my heart and hope to die. Lovin me is complicated. Too afraid. A lot of changes. I'm alright and youre a favorite. Dark nights in my prayers.

DEREK: -exhales... HE DID IT-

RILEY: -SO MUCH CLAPPING SHES SO PROUD-

DAVENFORTH: -He's out on stage so fast and jumping on his brother, damn his image-

DAVENFORTH: Thats how you do that shit

QIRIN: ^_^

QIRIN: 👏👏👏👏

DEREK: -laughs, swinging an around around the brother. WHAT A DORK. both of them really.- Fuck yeah.

DAVENFORTH: -Starts talking into the mic DAVENFORTH: Not only is this my brother hes my twin like he told you for so many years all we had was each other thats his back to to back against the fucking world no exaggeration DAVENFORTH: Sometimes though you separate and fuck up and you dont know of the strife that each other has been through DAVENFORTH: While derek was dealing with his pains i was dealing with my own and still continuing to strive and bring entertainment and satire of the fucking bullshittery of a fucking empire but there was still that void DAVENFORTH: Even if you cant fight you can make a difference i promise DAVENFORTH: not everyone can pull a trigger and you shouldnt have to no one should be made to come to that but like derek said DAVENFORTH: Art expression just being is direct and complete defiance to a system and a people and way of life that wants you eradicated DAVENFORTH: Unfortunately the enemy has come in and has given you no other option but to fight DAVENFORTH: They dont think you will thats why everything we know and love has been perveted and destroyed DAVENFORTH: Nows your chance to let them know it wont fly anymore and me and my bro are gonna give you some good music to be real defiant to DAVENFORTH: Dirk dave i know youre out there bein strong and listenin to your old ass uncle ramble but im proud of you kids im glad i got the chance to meet you and watch you grow DAVENFORTH: Russet jinjin and cereza ima see yall soon love you girls youre probably gonna hear about all the stupid shit i did from your moms but know that most of it was for you

DEREK: -yeeeeeees- Lets do this shit man. -claps him on the back and bobs some more as the music gets going.-

DEREK: How long before the hate that we hold Lead us to another Holocaust? Are we so deep in it that we can't end it? Stop hold ever call it off. Its too clear nuclears too near. And the holders of the molotov. Say that Revolutions right here right now And they aint callin off.

DAVENFORTH: Lets fuckin do it

DAVENFORTH: Wake up roll an eighth up DAVENFORTH: Throw a double finger with a fist DAVENFORTH: Here at the abyss DAVENFORTH: I will be your tour guide DAVENFORTH: It is war time check your wrists (Ready kids) DAVENFORTH: Over to your right shine a light DAVENFORTH: Got a bevy ready for the fight DAVENFORTH: I just wanna live i dont wanna ever have to load a clip DAVENFORTH: Only hunt bliss DAVENFORTH: I am still a kid in my heart DAVENFORTH: But these motherfuckers sick DAVENFORTH: They dont give a shit not at all DAVENFORTH: They dont even want to let you take a little piss in a pot DAVENFORTH: Listen along DAVENFORTH: They dont want your love shit is bugged DAVENFORTH: Motherfuckers steady getting rich from the blood DAVENFORTH: Love when you beg DAVENFORTH: Trust i would sooner put a puckered pair of lips to the sun DAVENFORTH: Love will survive DAVENFORTH: Run out under iridescent lights for our lives DAVENFORTH: I will be surprised if we ever got the feeling so alive as tonight DAVENFORTH: Wild for the night DAVENFORTH: Look into my eyes DAVENFORTH: I am standing at your side for the fight DAVENFORTH: Minds over might DAVENFORTH: Swear to God DAVENFORTH: They could barely even see the dog DAVENFORTH: They dont see the size of the fight

DEREK: Wake up. Drink water. Smoke blunt. Clean. Oil my Kalashnikov. Stockpile ten for me and friends in case shit get to poppin off. The evening news givin yous views. Telling you to pick your master for president. Been behind the curtain seen the devil workin. Came back with some evidence. Im here to tell you dont let em tell you whats right wrong. Make love smoke kush try to laugh hard and live long. That's the antidote. You defeat the devil when you hold onto hope. Cuz kinfolk life is beautiful. And we ain't gotta die for them other men. And I refuse to kill another human being. In the name of a government. Cuz I don't study war no more. I dont hate the poor no more. Gettin more aint whats more. Only thing more is the love. So when you see me. Please greet me with a heart full. And a pound and a hug.

DAVENFORTH: -Sings the hook-

DEREK: -DANCIN AROUND-

DEREK: Seen the devil give a sermon in the church. Seen an angel dancing in the club. Tryin to feed a baby so I threw a thousand in the air. And blessed her with a hug. I done been down so many times. Walked on like a dirty rug. And now that I made it can't fake it. Gotta give me what Im truly worthy of.

DAVENFORTH: And I don't how much it really means to be right DAVENFORTH: And what a joy itd be to see some peace in this life DAVENFORTH: And it occurs to me that maybe we aint ever really seen any right DAVENFORTH: Here in the dark DAVENFORTH: Hoping just to see a beam of the light

DEREK: Hear what I say we are the business today. Fuck shit is finished today. Derek and Dave we the new PB and J. We dropped a classic today. We did a tablet of acid today. Lit joints with the matches and ashes away. SKRRRT! We dash away. Donner and Dixon the pistol is wrapped on the way.

DAVENFORTH: -BOUNCING AROUND-

DAVENFORTH: Doctors of death DAVENFORTH: Curing our patients of breath DAVENFORTH: We are the pain you can trust DAVENFORTH: Crooked at work DAVENFORTH: Cookin up curses and slurs DAVENFORTH: Smokin my brain into mush DAVENFORTH: I became famous for flamin you fucks DAVENFORTH: Maimin my way through the brush DAVENFORTH: There is no training or taming of me and my bruh DAVENFORTH: Look like a man but im animal raw

RILEY: -dancin backstage-

DEREK: We are the murderous pair. That went to jail and we murdered the murderers there. Then went to Hell and discovered the devil. Delivered some hurt and despair. Used to have powder to push. Now I smoke pounds of the kush. Holy Im burnin a bush. Now I give a fuck about none of this shit. Jewel runner over and out of this bitch.

QIRIN: =joins riley=

DAVENFORTH: Step into the spotlight

DEREK: WOO!

DAVENFORTH: Copping of uppers and downers get done DAVENFORTH: I'm in a rush to be numb DAVENFORTH: Droppin a thousand ain't much DAVENFORTH: Come from the clouds DAVENFORTH: On a missile to turn this whole town into dust DAVENFORTH: Dont make a sound, baby hush DAVENFORTH: I am the living swipe right on the mic im a slut DAVENFORTH: I dont know how to not spit like a lout DAVENFORTH: Ill spill a pound of my kids on your couch

RILEY: -hip bumps qirin DAMN YOU GOT SOME BONY HIPS AM I RIGHT-

DEREK: Half of a mongrel and mythical team. Villainous treacherous things. Legend says Daveys a spawn out of Hades. The myth is my mamas a murderous queen. Your life can end like in Godfather 1. You get the gun as I christen my son. If I die today and it's Hell I should pay. Tell the Lord Derek said Fuck it was fun.

DAVENFORTH: Every new records my dick in a box DAVENFORTH: We get a doozy the mulas a lock DAVENFORTH: Youre getting used to me doing no wrong DAVENFORTH: I dont play chicken you prick im a fox DAVENFORTH: You wanna kick it ill give you the rocks DAVENFORTH: You kiss the wood chipper blade if you balk DAVENFORTH: Im fuckin magic in fact im a warlock of talk DAVENFORTH: I got a unicorn horn for a

DAVENFORTH: AND THE CROWD GOES

DEREK: Mike Pentangeli wont snitch. Ill rent a room at the Ritz. Ill sip a fifth of the whisk. Ill smoke a dub in the tub. Then I will split both my wrists.

DAVENFORTH: Ill pull a sword on you simps DAVENFORTH: Just with a flick of the wrist DAVENFORTH: Get your neck giving up mist DAVENFORTH: Me and rek skip away whistlin and grin DAVENFORTH: Every days golden when you only win

DEREK: Bullyin bastards and beatin on beats. Sounds like a day at the beach preach. I keep it middle school, step on your feet. Before you can speak,blow to the teeth.

DAVENFORTH: We move among the ones you think are meek DAVENFORTH: You think im lion you right, see my teeth DAVENFORTH: Dont be a bore when im roaring vamoose DAVENFORTH: Huntings no fun when your prey doesnt move DAVENFORTH: Ill put a gun to a bunny like choose DAVENFORTH: Say somethin funny or bunny go boom DAVENFORTH: You got a bevy of shit you could groove DAVENFORTH: Wed like to thank you for choosing our crew

DEREK: And thats from the crew you can trust. Warranty plus for fuckin shit up. We are the no-gooders do-gooders. Known to the dancers and dealers and doers of dust.

DEREK: -throws his hands up. yEEAAAHH.-

DAVENFORTH: -Looks dead in the camera and runs his thumb across his neck-

RILEY: -what she didn't completely understand before, she does now. they have to do this. somebody has to.-

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 18

[Woah! Where did all these flyers get on campus?? A free concert? College students love free, right? Will there be food there? Probably. Will there be booze? Definitely. The cause for the concert? The new presidents, of course! It's high time to welcome them into office. Join various artists for this dedication concert to the most diabolical and intensely stupid presidents since Trump himself. Tonight only!]

DAVENFORTH: -Currently raiding the AV club for equipment.-

JEFF: =Peeps at Dave's raiding= JEFF: .... Howdy there.... um, d'you need some help in here?

DAVENFORTH: Yeah grab that amp and that switchboard for me

DAVENFORTH: -Wheeling out this broadcast equipment-

DEREK: -he's here too, relaying messages from the sonion-

JEFF: Oh, um, alrighty. =Grabs the things and hoists them. He's a strong bean, follows= JEFF: This is for that concert right? =He's sweaty about that..... it might put them in danger=

DAVENFORTH: Yep

MAYOR: -scampering around all the movement going down here-

ERIDAN: -burning distantly from some doorway. Smothered in heavy shadow.-

DAVENFORTH: People are way too complacent about the authoritarian state in place and its time to get them rowdy about their own lives

JEFF: Well.... I... can get that perspective... JEFF: We get by here th-though...

MAYOR: -CATCHES A FLIER AND STARES AT IT-

DAVENFORTH: How long are you gonna get by until youre all thats left to stand up

DAVENFORTH: Cannibalism is being normalized and the people are being sedated by shitty soda and carnival games

DAVENFORTH: Again i ask

DAVENFORTH: How long are you just gonna get by until getting by isnt enough

JEFF: =Hhhhhhhh, some internal and external wheezing= We don't.... actualy have that much trainin to fight... JEFF: They send... they send specialized fighters after... (people who get all... rowdy...) =He mumbles off feeling like a coward but he's just a humble engineer nerd he's never had to fight. LOOK AT THIS SQUISH, he's VULNERABLE=

ERIDAN: honestly youre wwalkin out there wwith a great circular target sight right betwween your fuckin eyes -Steps in for Jeff. Yes, he's well aware that Jeff is vulnerable and squishy.-

DAVENFORTH: Like the acrobats right

JEFF: =Thanks Eridan and nods= Y-yeah.... like them.

DAVENFORTH: Thats valid and i respect that

ERIDAN: say maybe not you but evveryone else wwho aint got the gall to do nothin but stand in your general vvicinity

DAVENFORTH: Were working with an expert to mask the broadcast location

DAVENFORTH: You wanna stay off camera thats fine work the cameras and keep em on me

DAVENFORTH: Not tryin to bring you trouble but this shit right here

DAVENFORTH: Sometimes you gotta get dangerous

ERIDAN: -squints mistrustfully.- wwhatevver ERIDAN: dont fuck up the initial plan or im personally makin it so you dont get further than the front gate ERIDAN: -and with that, struts off. He's got a patrol to do.-

JEFF: Um... =Watches Eridan go= I can.. work a camera yeah.

DAVENFORTH: Roger that gilly the squid

JEFF: =Still sweaty about this situation... he feels like he's just being a wimp by not fighting but he's not the fighting type. He's just a behind-the-scenes buildy guy=

DAVENFORTH: Think about it this way jeff

DAVENFORTH: Youre the architect of a revolution

MAYOR: -CRUNPLES THE PAPER.... he is having an Internal Crisis or-- stuffing it into his rags for more padding, maybe, who knows. HE SCURRIES AWAY SUDDENLY.-

JEFF: =Laughs a little, watching the Mayor run off= Well... that seems a lil dramatic... haha =But he likes it....=

DAVENFORTH: Its the truth

DAVENFORTH: How many people would you say are complacent and already defeated with the way things are

DAVENFORTH: -Brings this stuff to the school theater. They're getting things set up. He sets down the equipment he has-

JEFF: I guess that is a lil true.... =walks with him and sets the things he's carrying down carefully. Rubbing his arm= JEFF: Well.... I can help you out more. However you need it. Um. Whoever needs me here.

DAVENFORTH: I understand if you or other folks are scared thats okay i guess doin something like this requires a fair disregard for my own life but that dont mean i want anyone to follow suit if they arent feelin it

DAVENFORTH: That being said fighting is dangerous stuff but no one got anywhere in history without sacrifice

DAVENFORTH: The people deserve to know they have other options and they can have better they just have to reach out and take it

DAVENFORTH: It sure as hell wont be given

JEFF: =Exhales..... that's true, he doesn't stop rubbing his arm= Good point.... JEFF: We all doin this is... pretty risky.. even if it's comfortable. JEFF: So... yeah. It won't be easy... breakin out of this... =MNG=

DAVENFORTH: No it wont but i feel like youll be proud of yourself for taking the steps

JEFF: Hah... it's.. uncharacteristic that's for sure...

DAVENFORTH: How old are you jeff

JEFF: Uh, 26. =Adjusts glasses=

DAVENFORTH: Youll be thanking yourself in a year

JEFF: I mean... assuming we last the year I suppose I will haha...... =Oh was that inappropriate... coughs into fist=

DAVENFORTH: Youre a really optimistic motherfucker arent you jeff -He grins-

JEFF: Hahaha s'pose I am, someone's gotta be. =Smiles a little, he made a connection here=

DAVENFORTH: Hell yeah

DAVENFORTH: -He's gonna still be around, setting things up and following Dirks instructions on how they can mask their broadcast. Thanks nephew.-