#argh! the 'what fandom should do more' asks are always such tough ones...

[katyspersonal]

I've never done an ask meme before. I'd like to see 12, 15, and 18 please.

Ahh really? Ask memes are a pretty common fun activity on Tumblr (especially in RP communities), I am flattered you decided to try sending one because of me!!

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

12) the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Reusable question! There are a few neglected characters who however have a huge potential. For now I'm going to say Graveguard Dores!

Every Soulsborne game has the female butcher cannibal character with the big sword that lives in a swamp or similar area, and given that Dores is a female name AND Japanese original does NOT say 'he' unlike localisation- Yeah, you see what I mean?

Basically, this is the OTHER badass grandma potential, given that she's the character from old times, like Gehrman and Willem. Not just that, but she is very creepy (in an awesome sense). Her mask is either a craftwork to sneak around in Pthumerian labyrints or straight up scalp, and there are multiple ritual knives and tools on her belt. Cool scary lady that guards the cemetery near Eldrich institution in snakes-infested forest! And the humour potential, too! One of the most fun things to do with Bloodborne headcanons is to elaborate on Byrgenwerth at its prime, so imagine the dynamics with the scholars and her x) How much you wanna bet only Micolash wasn't scared of Dores!!

15) that one (cool) thing you see in fanart all the time

I really, really, REALLY like how everyone collectively agreed that Choir has those creepy dumb smiles fsdjhfsdhf There is nothing to suggest that in the canon (and this is the phrase you can apply to Soulsborne games often...), but drawing many Choir members smiling like the blissful cultish bung that they are is just something that never gets old! Haha and also:

18) it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

Hmmm... I waaaaant to say that fandom has been sleeping on the Vileblood characters like Annalise, Crow, Arianna, King of Cainhurst etc, but recently it has been 'awakening' thanks to @heraldofcrow - that's THE butterfly effect if I've seen one! In the end, constantly discussing certain characters and themes will pay off, so be the change you want to be!

But what fandom still did NOT wake up to do again is Yahar'gul hunters and especially, the potential of Archibald working with Yahar'gul and Micolash himself directly! There are implications that Yahar'gul hunters used to be hunters of the Healing Church and went undercover secretively, or maybe HAD to do it (five out of seven of them are not white, and seems like Healing Church spread narrative of foreigners bringing beast plague to ward off suspicions from itself). AND Archibald himself is called "heretic", probably since his weapons are based off studying ancient beasts! School of Mensis is just this... really secretive, 'evil' division of 'nerds' of the Healing Church - not something to show off, unlike Choir lol! And their hunters are just as interesting of a layer as their scholars!

Also here, have an ancient meme:

Thanks for the asks!

[i-loves-my-lemurs]

Hi, I was reading your writers commentary. I love it so much! Do you have any commentary on "Shadows and Terror"? Its my personal favorite. I'd also love to see some commentary on your lovely sugarbuns fic.

Ah, thank you! Sorry it took me so long to get to this, I'm still drowning in coursework and stuff, but I appreciate the ask!

This was my first oneshot I wrote for this fandom, Ted centric this time! I just wanted to see the characters acknowledge their trauma a bit more, so I wrote this for Ted and Pancho. Enjoy the commentary!

.............

*One jab after another at his skin with that sharp spear... water suddenly burst from every wall and flooded them and-*

Ted's nightmare was a mash up of his various scary experiences from Exiled, because of course I couldn't just pick one! He was scared while fighting the war, combined with the loneliness and terror of being cooped up in the submarine, thinking he was trapped alone with a monster. As well as the sub sinking, that couldn't have been fun for him.

This takes place some time after the victory party, but slightly before the first episode of season 5. Just enough time to put some distance between the adrenaline of the war and the partying, and allow the weight of the experience to truly catch up with Ted.

*his eyes wide in terror. He frantically looked this way and that, checking the shadows around the room*

The title of the fic is incooperated in this paragraph, but it actually took me a super long time to pick a title. I eventually re-read some sections and thought, yeah this sounds good. Shadows and Terror still sounds a little fancy for this work tbh.

*looked up to see Dorothy standing about him*

I decided not to being Ted and Dorothy's marital problems into this, so they're very sweet with each other and they both care a lot.

(Also instead of about it's meant to say above, argh, embarrassing typo!)

*She quickly released him, seeing how jumpy he was*

Dorothy doesn't quite know what's going on with Ted, but she's trying to be supportive the best way she can.

*it reminded him of those long nights in the submarine when Julien*

Ted's train of thought runs away with him here, he's still half caught up in the dream poor guy, and suddenly he's having a flashback to the sub.

*Pancho was whining about their whining*

I can see Pancho just getting very fed up with consistent negativity when he's trying to focus on driving the sub, even if he too is just concerned about the kingdom. I wrote this fic before I started shipping panchulien actually, the early days.

*Ted had just quietly sat down in the corner of the room,*

Poor Ted, I imagine he definitely wasn't complaining as much as the others, he had been alone on the sub for longer than them and just needed a hug.

*All he could hear now was his own breathing, short and panting, and Dorothy, oh heck, she was talking*

Ted zones back to reality, the fic is written from his POV so you can read along his thought process. As he comes back to reality, realising Dorothy is talking completely throws him off guard.

*I just... I guess I'm still jumpy from the whole mountain lemur, submarine fiasco."*

Ted sort of dances around the issue, he doesn't even want to directly mention the word 'war'. He only hints at the things that are scaring him to try and keep Dorothy's worry to a minimum, and because talking about it will make it even more real.

*rubbed the fur on his head, something which he often found soothing*

These lemurs need to groom each other more!!! I get the feeling Ted and Dorothy might like physical contact if one of them is upset (not if they're upset because of each other obviously), but grooming would be a comfort to many of the lemurs, especially physically affectionate Ted.

*tried to force himself to relax*

Poor leem, he just wants the scary stuff to be over so he can be alright and be sunny old Ted again, but unfortunately for him, things aren"t that simple.

*his tail stiffening like it did under imposed threat. He even heard a low growl being forced from his throat*

I'm not sure if I actually researched if lemurs do this, or if I made it up on the spot, but it seems like something they might do when threatened (any experts want to weigh in?).

*She could tell Ted was still tense from the way he was clutching his tail. "Look, maybe you should see Doctor S?"*

As much as Ted tries to hide it, Dorothy can tell something is wrong. Despite their problems, it's obvious that she cares very deeply for him and she just wants to see him be himself again.

*Yep!" Ted tried to sound as merry as he wanted to feel.*

Ted is definitley the sort to try and put on a facade of everything being okay, especially when Dorothy is involved. Secretly he knows it can't be like this forever, but he wants to pretend for as long as he can. Kind of like his marriage. That's also why he wants to be away from Dorothy. He knows she can see right through his little facade and he's not ready to face the truth yet.

*"At this time of night?"*

This takes place at around two in the morning, late enough for Ted, Dorothy and most of the kingdom's subjects to be asleep, but still early enough for Pancho Horst and Willie to still be partying.

*Ted couldn't help but clutch at his tail as he walked....bit his lip as he tuned into the sounds of the jungle all around him.*

Ted would totally hold his tail like a snuggie to comfort himself. And since he's already jumping at shadows, being alone in a place where the war was just fought would terrify him. Even though he's lived in the jungle all his life, the war has left him so wary of danger that everything feels very scary and unfamiliar.

*Snoring lemurs who weren't paralysed in fear by nightmares and memories.*

Ted feels a little left out and jealous as the rest of the kingdom is able to sleep and move on from the war. It makes him feel isolated, which is why finding solace with Pancho is important for him later in the fic.

*Sweet mango juice, what was he thinking*

I tried to copy Ted's exclamative speaking style here, but it doesn't quite match up to how it sounds in the show. Oop.

*sign that read 'MANGO TANGO'*

Fun fact, I tried to get the bar's title to be in italics, but a03 glitches on me and turned the entire text into italics, and because coding is a nightmare and I just decided to have it in caps instead.

*Ted recognised Horst, Willie and Pancho.*

These guys are drinking buddies. CANNON!

*"The stinking drink's in your hand, you buffoon!" Pancho said grumpily*

I'm not 100% happy with the way Pancho is written here, but it is pretty good for a first attempt. It kind of makes sense though, Pancho was having a good time with his pals and is a little annoyed that their night has to end. Also he's annoyed at himself for letting Horst get into this state.

*Pancho winked at him*

Small hint at panched in there, it was my first ship for this show and I still think it's neat.

*which he promptly collapsed onto seconds later.*

Poor Willie, he's just very done now, and needs sleep. Pancho just didn't want their partying to end, so he unwittingly wore his homies down on their night out.

*"You wanna come back to the Mango Tango with me?"*

Pancho is still very desperate to keep the night going, even if it isn't with his drinking buddies. He just needs company.

*Pancho released Ted almost immediately. "Sorry, I just, don't want to be alone." Pancho muttered, looking embarrassed.

Ted was a little surprised by his outburst, but deep down, he knew he might have done the same thing.*

Ah, poor babies. I thrive off the angst.

*exited Willie's hut and shut the door behind them.*

Courtesy.

*Together, they climbed*

Ted and Pancho sort of have a kindred spirit vibe going here. They're both going through similar experiences and avoiding them by being out at night. They need each other, even if they don't know it.

*tall tree that had many different people's huts in it*

Baobab tree? Is that what you were going for, past me?

*Pancho chuckled as he continued to stare out across the jungle. "I'm not sure if I ever went to lemur school." He said eventually.*

Now that they're up above the village and everything, Pancho's beginning to slow down and their conversations become more meaningful. He's put some distance between his late night drinking and now he just wants some solidarity in his pain and meaningful company, which, thankfully, Ted can give.

*he really didn't know much about Pancho's side of things.*

I have to wonder what the POV of people who weren't directly involved in Panchurian would be. I think Ted would probably be quite confused about what happened to Pancho, and why he suddenly has a house now and everything. But hes too polite to ask, so it's only now he finds out.

*Ted sighed and glanced up at Pancho*

Ted sort of looks up to Pancho after seeing how brave and badass he was in Exiled, and he's always veiwed Pancho as this macho, confident swagger guy, and hopes that he might be a source of consolation that could help Ted feel 'normal' again.

*"but even when that something's over and you know it's never going to hurt you again you just can't help being terrified"*

All this would definitley resonate with Pancho and the first thing he does is to encourage Ted to do what's best for him because he cares. He doesn't want Ted to end up like him because of trauma.

*"Don't apologise." He said. Ted glanced back at him. "It's, uh, it's alright to get scared by that stuff"*

Pancho shows Ted that it's okay to be scared, because if Ted continues to bottle up his feelings then he won't be Ted anymore.

*"You know I got brainwashed, right?"*

Poor Panchy just wants to open up to someone. He's been shoving his feelings down, but now it's all coming to the surface because of how he relates to Ted right now. He needs some more chances to talk about the things that haunt him.

*"Soft!" Ted exclaimed, hands on his hips.*

Ted was a little hung up on being a 'tough guy' after Exiled, so that shows through here.

*"And I'm assistant captain of the ringtail guard!"*

This little rant feels very in character for Ted. I enjoyed writing it.

*"but I just can't bring myself to pay them a wedding visit!"*

A wedding visit was a custom in the olden days of England, and I can absolutely see Ted doing it and bringing the newly weds gifts.

*leaned back against the branch they were sitting on.*

At the beginning of this scene, Pancho was clutching the tree trunk, now he's relaxed. He's feeling more comfortable with Ted.

*"Why don't you talk to your wife, she'll help."*

Helps to establish a functioning support system. Pancho knows Ted has people he can turn to, so encourages him to do so.

I am completely all for this friendship. Ted would help Pancho with his issues without hesitation, and obviously I wrote this with the idea that nobody would be completely okay after Exiled. I just wanted to explore their issues further, and for my first fic in this fandom, I think it's pretty good.

...............

And that's it! Thanks again for the ask :)

[captain-aralias]

End of Year in Fandom meme

i know on tumblr the tradition is to post a list and then wait for people to ask you before just telling them all your thoughts... but i come from livejournal where we answer all the questions. 

here are my thoughts about the things that i really liked in 2019. 

if no one reads it, that’s cool! if you do read it - that’s cool too. please talk to me about any of these things. i have strong feelings about them.

Your main fandom this year?

this was, of course, 'carry on'. now there are two books, it might be time to start trying to call the fandom 'the simon snow books', but i don't think it's going to stick.

it's a nice fandom. not overwhelmingly big, but active enough that it's engaging. lots of people's first fandom.

Your favourite film watched this year?

movies is where i'm weakest now music has been removed from the list because i'm been watching long-running TV instead of 2-hour things, mostly.

i really liked the netflix christmas movie 'klaus' - but i would say, my favourite movie was 'steven universe - the movie' which is notable in that it's a movie of a TV show, but for reals. it was SO GOOD. i thought the structure worked really well as a movie, and the fact that it was longer than 10 minutes meant we got lots of proper-length songs :D

Your favourite book read this year?

ok! this is easier. i read lots of great books this year, mostly pratchett. many of which i think i've read before, but my memory is bad and it was a long time ago. there were only a few that i really really felt like i'd read before, like 'night watch' and 'going postal - which are still my favourite-favourites.

the best ones i either hadn't read before at all or remembered very little of were 'wee free men' and the 'amazing maurice'. also, all the middle vimes books - like, had i read 'the fifth elephant' before? i don't know. but it rocked.

also this year - there was a new 'invisible library' book (genieve cogman) which was about a heist (i love it!), two new 'murder most unladylike' (robin stevens), and right at the beginning of the year, 'the wicked king' (book 2 of 'the folk of the air' by holly black - who has never fully worked for me until this series. now it's amazing'.

'wayward son' was my most anticipated book, but it wasn't my favourite of the year even tough i have three copies of it, plus the audiobook, plus the kindle book. i feel for it in a different way than i feel for other books as it is my fandom and it's special to me in a way none of the other books are. it's also not bad, like some anticipated things have been - it just wasn't exactly what i wanted.

but, you know - bring on 'any way the wind blows'. it's set at watford. i am down for that.

Your favourite tv show of the year?

TOO MUCH CHOICE, ARGH.

2019 was, for me, the year of (animated) television shows that blew my mind with how much i loved them. if i had to choose one... i'd have to go for 'ladybug' but it's a tough call.

i love 'ladybug', even though it's a monster of the week show for kids that is written in another language and dubbed. somehow it transcends this and is SO GOOD and fun.

closely followed by:

steven universe (of course)

mob psycho 100. (how the hell did it get so good so fast? the first episode was like, eh, i guess this fine, and then it was about FRIENDSHIP, and growing up, and compassion.)

my hero academia (a late entry, i literally watched it last week. SO GOOD OMG)

yuri on ice!!!

haiyku!!

i also really enjoyed/am enjoying 'she-ra' and i'm enjoying 'the dragon prince'.

did we watch anything that had real people in it? yes. (i also watched a lot of starkid musicals - which doesn't fit anywhere on the list). but it wasn't as good.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

see above.

all the anime and ladybug are all massive fandoms/massive megafandoms that i'd never heard of because i am an ignorant westerner (this is what tumblr is good for, to be fair to it - forcing you to interact with random stuff that people who share one of your interests are also interested in - i have found many things that i like from seeing gifs of them). i read some yuri fic but i didn't want it to suck me in, before i was read to leave 'carry on'... so i backed away. i haven't read any 'ladybug' fic for the same reason.

and i dont ship stuff in BNHA so what's the point? (except maybe all might/eraser head, but i think maybe that' because i like them both the most as characters and they've been in some scenes together. and are adults. and all might is really gay - not a good reason to write fic) (or is it?) (no - i've got lots of 'carry on' stuff to write......)

Your biggest fandom disappointment?

it feels like the answer should be 'wayward son' after what i wrote above, but i wasn't actually disappointed at all, if that makes sense. although i wanted to be filled with overwhelming love, i didn't expect it - it was more like i was desperate to read the book (particularly because loads of people got it early, but i didn't) and my head was just full of white noise for weeks during september. even things like the 'steven universe' movie coming out didn't stop my brain saying 'WHERE IS WAYWARD SON???'

and then when i got it was like - yeah, this is all right - not my favourite, but now i know what happens i can process it. what a relief.

ok! i know what my actual biggest disappointment was - i REALLY wanted to like the new 'his dark materials'. it looked great! it was long - which i thought would mean it would be good. i had lin manuel miranda in it!

but i didn't get past the first episode. it just had far too many random boring scenes, and james mcavoy was all wrong for asriel, and i just hated it.

Your tv boyfriend of the year?

HMMMM... as usual, i love too many. (erin is well aware of this terrible state of affairs - if there's a rubbish and yet strangely competent stringey man in something, she knows i will like them too much).

i probably feel closest to adrien agreste, even though reigen arataka (mob psycho) is exactly my type.

and let's not even talk about how beautiful viktor nikiforov is. it should not be allowed.

Your tv girlfriend of the year?

this one is easier (alas indeed - we watch television programmes about MEN). it's marinette dupain-cheng. she is so smart and kind!

also - the worst witch wasn't very good this year (so it didn't get on the list, see above), but hectate hardbroom is still great.

and, of course, i have always loved the doctor. is it right to put the doctor here? people have started using non-binary pronouns now. idk - i'm going to say she's a woman right now.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?

eeeeer.........

renaissance faire sword fight in 'wayward son' maybe? (it was about 7am, i can't really remember but i think i was happy)

or something like - spoilers - the end of the most recent season of haikyu!! you'd think - surely the heroes will win, but what i've learned in anime is that sometimes... they don't. and so i was genuinely invested in whether or not they would get into the nationals. and THEY DID!!!!

The most missed of your old fandoms?

B7 - i definitely miss it more than doctor who, athough obviously i did go back for thirteen. (i liked the series - it was perfectly nice, and i was one of the people who didn't want a female doctor because the doctor's always been a rubbish man and i thought that was part of his thing. but now that there is a female doctor i'm much more like - shit, i wish i was the doctor, but i guess she's really good. the episodes themselves are just fine, though. it doesn't make me fannish)

i wrote a thing for 'blake's 7' because i was asked to by someone who is really lovely, and i met up with mrsunderhill from tumblr and we talked about fic stuff - and she told me that a lot of russian-speaking fandom followed me from doctor who to B7, which i did not know. (hello russian-speaking fans, if you are here).

but it was hard going - i realised i'd lost the knack, but also how great the show is. i probably won't read any more who fic unless it's by people i know, but i would still read B7.

just probably not anymore 1990s gen. i started selling the zines that i know i'm not interested in.

The fandom you haven’t tried yet, but want to?

i already said 'don't tempt me, frodo!'

i'll go looking once i'm fed up with 'carry on' and not before.

[darkhymns-fic]

Living

Colette was never allowed to leave the village before it was time. But the boy who traveled through the forests made her curious.  

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairings: Lloyd Irving/Colette Brunel Rating: G Mirror Links: AO3 Notes: Wrote this quick for Colloyd day that's going on during twitter! Or, tried to write it quick. A mix of fluff and etc.

Colette’s heart had been hurting lately. Maybe because she knew that what she was doing was wrong. But even as her heart pounded fiercely, nearly journeying into her throat, she kept following, holding onto Lloyd’s hand as he helped her up the steep hill. The sun was in the other side of the sky, still burning bright and heating up her hair. To her right was a blanket of dead leaves that stayed separated from the man-made path. Overarching oaks surrounded her, the kind that she would only see from her bedroom window.

“Sure you don’t want to go back?” Lloyd asked her, though still gripping her fingers tight. It was long past their view, but somewhere behind them was the village gate, where the guards continued to be distracted, trying to shoo away a whining green-furred dog while a pair of children had slipped out the side, as quiet as they had ever been.

“No, I’m okay,” she told him. Her heart was still beating, and her legs were aching from the strain. The hill was steep, and she kept fearing that she would fall. Though she wore boots, the same kind that she would wear when traveling the long stretch to the temple, she wondered if the rough terrain here would ruin them. And if her grandmother would notice. “I want to keep going!”

Lloyd smiled widely. His hair was messy after that tussle with a particularly angry squirrel, but he continued to lead her along. “Having Noishe here would make things easier, huh…”

She giggled at that, boots crunching against a few leaves that crossed her path. “Do you always walk through here for school? It seems really tough!”

“Eh, it’s no big deal.” Lloyd tried to shrug it off, but she caught the proud glint in his eyes. “I got used to it a lot anyway.”

“Well, now I know why you fall asleep in class. This is already making me tired!” She took one step a bit too wide and nearly upended herself into the foliage beside her.

“Whoa, I got you.” Lloyd’s tone was reassuring, still holding onto her hand tight.

“Thanks,” she breathed out. “I’m afraid I’ll fall right off this hill…”

“You won’t. The most you’ll do is fall on your butt! Happens with me all the time.” He shrugged again. “We’re almost there anyway. This is what you wanted to see, right?”

Colette sighed in relief when they reached an even level of the land. The air tasted crisp against her tongue, bringing the scent of moss and pine. It wasn’t the highest hill there was, but the forest still stretched out before her. In the distance were the cliffs, the winding road that led them here, and the brief hint of a chimney, a thin trail of smoke that snaked its way to the sky. Both loosened their grip. Colette brought both hands before her, mouth slightly parted as she continued to gaze.

She was opposite the village, with its small homes and humble crops. She was opposite the temple that overlooked an ocean that no one had any hope of traveling across – not with monsters lurking in the waters. She was here with something new and vast, where she could see birds travel from each tree and only imagine what was beyond the cliffs. It was not like she would have never seen such sights. The Chosen would travel the world eventually, but that was not for another five years. She would’ve had to wait until the end, when she wouldn’t even have much time to –

“I think Noishe must have left the village by now,” Lloyd said as he stood next to her. He had his arms crossed as he looked out over the same view, though minus the wonder that Colette was experiencing. “Argh, if he ran into that same squirrel, we probably aren’t seeing him anytime soon though.”

“Do you like it here?” she asked him suddenly. She brought her hands down, felt the wind pull at her hair gently, and brush against her neck. It was cleaner here. And quieter. No kids to yell out into the air, no grocer to sell his stock.

“I like Iselia, yeah! I mean, maybe the Professor could ease up a little bit, but-”

“No, I- I’m sorry.” She suddenly felt ashamed for asking, but barreled through her nervousness, knowing Lloyd would only ask her. “Do you like it here?” She gestured to the landscape around them both, so overwhelming, so full of green. The world was dying and overrun with monsters, yet right here she felt everything was in sync. The priests had told her that she would need to save the world from destruction, but she had never really known just what the world even was.

Lloyd looked confused, head turning to see what she meant. The dirt, the trees, the view before them. “Um, I guess I like it okay?” He scratched behind his ear. “I already see it every day pretty much. And it gets really boring, since there’s no one else that lives here besides my dad and Noishe. At least in Iselia, I can see you.”

Colette looked out at the view again, her heart hurting, her heart tearing. “Did it use to mean something to you?”

Lloyd took a moment to be silent. It was unlike him, this boy whose voice could be heard from across the village, trying to find a hiding Genis as they played their games.

Something about the forest here reminded her of something. Maybe it was the scent of it, that scent he would bring with him when he made it to Iselia each morning.

Lloyd raised his eyes to the sky. It was still bright, the clouds drifting in slow-motion, like the mists over the sea when she would stay late at the temple. “It… it still means something to me. At least at night.” He was remembering something, reminded of something, too. He left the skies to be back on the world with Colette, his eyes a little brighter. “You wanna keep going?”

By now, her grandmother would notice she had never made it to her lessons. But she immediately reached for Lloyd’s hand, prompting him to move and take her further away. In a sense, she could understand why Lloyd felt the way he did. They made their way on the path, and sometimes the sights seemed to repeat. The undulating waves of the hills, and how the tips of the trees below them would sway like an ocean’s waves. Dirk’s home, which barely peeked through, broke the monotony, whenever she remembered to look back.

At a point, a snake hissed to her side. It stumbled out of a dense layer of leaves, seemingly surprised at its surroundings. Colette only moved back slightly, seeing the pattern on its scales – of black diamonds and corrugated brown – for the first time. Lloyd made up for the rest, bringing her close to him as he reached for one of the wooden swords strapped to him. The snake didn’t stay long, immediately delving back into the leaves, barely giving either of them a glance.

“…Was that poisonous?” she asked, feeling dumb. She felt like she should have been able to tell. The Professor must have explained it once.

“Uhh..” Lloyd himself was not having much luck. “I don’t think so? I fought poisonous snakes and they looked different.” A pause. “I think. Yeah.”

Her heart was hurting again, but this time with something that made her fear, if only slightly. The Chosen was never allowed to leave the village because of this. A bad fall here, or an attack there. So many ways to die, all of them much too early. Her heart crushed within her as Lloyd took her hand again, away from the leaves where the snake must still be there. It was hiding, it was safe, and it didn’t want to leave its home to go further than necessary. It was safe.

Something about this place made her want to fly.

They went down another steep slope, and Lloyd then decided to have them take a shortcut. It was through the brush, off the main path, and just down uneven footing that made her less than steady legs even more so.

“I think you only met my dad once, right? He makes this cool thing called Dwarven Potluck Surprise! It’s really good! And he hides stuff in it a lot, so it’s like a treasure hunt with each meal!”

At this moment, he had let go of her hands, maneuvering his feet to go over a part of the slope that was ridged, lumpy, and just high enough to make Colette question. The soles of her shoes were too smooth. They’d slide over those ridges and throw her off.

“Colette?” Lloyd turned, seeing how she didn’t follow him.

“I think… I don’t know if I can do it.” When she would travel the world, a protector would be with her. That’s what her grandmother had told her. One to keep her safe until that time that she couldn’t be, not allowed to be. “I think I’m going to fall.”

“Eh? It’s only like, two feet.” Lloyd still reached for her hand, his own shoes kicking up the fine grain of dirt into the air. “You’re fine.”

She wanted to fly, but she was afraid to fall. She only moved a step before she shook her head. “Can you hold my other hand, too? I’m sorry.”

Lloyd was about to say something, but he only shook his head, sighing a little, and let her other hand find his own. “You dork. I already said you won’t fall! You can’t fall here! Not even you!” Holding both her hands now, Lloyd stepped backward, shoes balancing on those ridges before they could make it flat land. “I mean, I might fall like this! I can’t really see where I’m going, you know.”

But still she kept a grip. Besides, the way he said it, mildly grumpy, mostly amused, got a laugh to sneak away from her mouth. Breaths left her as she stumbled awkwardly, going over the not at all high slope, yet still her heart squeezed when she saw a spot where she would have to make a tiny leap. Lloyd still held her as she did so, and she didn’t even sway. Because the land was flat. Because the slope was not at all high or that unwieldy, like he promised. Because he held onto her. He still held onto her.

Lloyd’s fingers slowly untwined, leaving a distance between their palms. “See? It was fine.”

The world in the village was safer, warmer, and so much smaller when she stayed away from everything – until she was ready, and only when it was necessary. The world outside was overwhelming, but quiet, but loud like a hiss beneath the leaves. The world outside hurt her legs, and a sprained muscle is a detriment to one who needed to endure the trials in her unmarked perfection. Dirt stained her dress, her hair was damp, and she wondered if she was already feeling tired. She never moved this much, despite the training she had just started with her new chakrams, despite the hours she’d devote her time to reading, understanding angelic scrawls that was brought to mortals from up high.

She didn’t mean to kiss him so soon. Everything has its time and place, and her time was only a few years from now. But she wouldn’t get to see the outside with him like this for much after. She thought about what she would say to her grandmother. She got lost and wandered. Lloyd had found her, bringing her back to Dirk’s home. Lloyd would be seen as a benefit, as someone to trust. Not someone that should be kept away from her.

Lloyd’s eyes were still open when she pulled back. He looked to the side for a moment, then back to her. “Uh. Um.”

She giggled, and her heart kept hurting. It felt alive. She felt alive. And she couldn’t apologize for that this time. Lloyd did say she shouldn’t need to so much anyway.

If they had been in the village still, Lloyd might have reacted differently, more embarrassed. But it was different out here, the feeling, everything. He hugged her soon afterwards, and whispered to her.

“Thanks for wanting to walk with me, Colette.”

.

.

.

Her hands no longer felt the scrapes as she scrabbled over the rocks with the rest, and even her breath stayed the same, never tiring her as they would travel through the roads for a full day. But her heart was still hurting, and it was the one thing she clung to. That, and him.

She had her wings now. She could probably just fly over these rocks that were blocking their way. Genis almost fell over the side, and Raine was plunging her staff in the crevices to steady her own hold. Kratos lagged behind, only to watch out for any certain enemies that would try to sneak up on them.

Lloyd was next to her, holding out his hand. “Come on! We’re almost there anyway.”

They had continued sneaking out of Iselia long afterwards. Eventually, her grandmother would overlook it, especially once Colette carried her chakrams. She was able to catch up with Lloyd now, to not fear the steep hills as much, to get used to the sights enough that she would no longer stand there to take it in as much, instead catching up to Lloyd to continually move. Even once he grew taller, and could lift her off the ground easily, feeling the strength beneath his jacket from learning his father’s trade. Still the scent of pine that pervaded around her, feeling more comfortable than when she would be alone. She told him once that she got nervous when he wasn’t around, and the truth of that ran deep, making the end of the journey all the more frightening.

She couldn’t feel his hand anymore, and there was nothing on her tongue, but at least her heart still pounded. She was still alive. For this moment. It was the most she could ask for.

He kept her balanced and steady, and she would cling to that for as long as she could.