#around hour 1.5 i hurt my own hand slamming it against the ice machine. already bruising shortly after. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

orcelito · 1 year

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2 hours zoned out catering prep while listening to trigun OST. 5 hours of stress stress stress stress becoming a bundle of nerves winding tighter and tighter and tighter until it begs for a release of Some kind, any kind, anything that would make the constant stream of customers and drinks and noise just STOP-

Then 1 hour, long hour, but calm hour, listening to trigun OST again and dealing with the aftermath. It did wonders for keeping me from biting my own arm off, but it still took. So long. Even with the help of my boss and the manager coming back from her catering thing, it still took about 20 mins over the hour (1 hr 20 mins when it usually takes 30 ish mins)

This was not a good day for me.

#speculation nation #im still in the storage room bc i was. reading. trying to chill.#the first two hours i was running full speed with the hopes that id be able to putter out and go half speed again #but by the fourth hour i knew that wasnt going to happen. and that's when i started losing myself.#around hour 1.5 i hurt my own hand slamming it against the ice machine. already bruising shortly after.#and i did not regret it because it gave me smth to focus on. bc i was going to lose my mind with the endless stress of it all.#around hour 3 i hit my hand in the same exact spot on the ice bin. sharp spot. it's taken many bits of my blood over the years #this time was an accident though. a cut is less fun than a bruise. especially when layered :/#im going to be here again in less than 12 hours. and i Hope it will only be for the 5 hours im scheduled #today was supposed to be about 5.5 hr long but i was working for over 8. by my own choice i guess #but had i known how fucking hellish this shift would be maybe i wouldnt have taken up the catering order after all #too late now. it's already done.#real shoutout to the employee tho. the mpv of the night. seemed remarkably calm in comparison to me #it's hard for me to break under stress at work. but the continuous nature of tonight got to me.#at least i have food at home. i think im going to be kind to myself tonight.#negative/#self harm ment/

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