#artwithyourlittlenightwatcher

[your-little-night-watcher]

Dear my beloved,

I wanna lie on your stomach as you run your fingers through my hair gently. I wanna just be with you in bed but not just in a sexual way. Just existing on the same mattress, the same space as you m. Holding each other gently. Kissing you whenever I want to - just being able to Grab your face and smother it with butterfly kisses. I just wanna be near them all the time, no conversation necessary. Just us, existing in the same space, doing our own thing. Finding comfort in each others presence. I want to spoil them so bad. I want to wake them up with breakfast, surprise them with lunch, cook dinner for them to come home to. I want to give them little gifts that makes them smile softly, and be able to say cute little things that carry with them throughout their day. There’s so much I want to do for them. I wanna melt in their arms and feel safe and loved or vice versa, where they melt in mine and feel like nothing can touch them. I wanna have innocent skin to skin contact, like hand to hand or thigh to thigh, innocent, unnoticeable, but i can tell your in love by the blush. I want to feel their entire body weight resting on mine. Snuggling with their head in the crook of my neck, breathing onto my collarbone. Their arms wrapped around my waist, our chests pressed together and our legs tangled. I want to breathe in their scent, I want them to hear my heartbeat and know that it beats only for them, and watch them as their head rises and falls ever so slightly as I breathe in and out. There’s no need for conversation, and for all we know we’re the only people in the world<3

I am so in love with them, they make me feel so safe and supported... They are so silly and never fails to make me laugh, they’re genuinely some of my favorite people in the world. I want to cook dinner with them and laugh as they fail miserably so we just order takeout instead. Darling, you are the night sky and all of its stars<3

Lots of love,

Your little night watcher

[your-little-night-watcher]

Dear my Beloved,

I can feel the withdrawals kicking in whenever you're gone. Do you feel it too? Does your head pound and ache when you don't hear my voice? Is it like the life was taken from you whenever we're apart? I can't handle not having you here with me. I can't handle not being able to touch you. I need you. I want you to hold me, I want you to make me feel safe. I want to feel safe with you, I want to be loved. Please, love me and make me feel safe. I love it when your soft voice calls to me, i need your guidance and your love. I'm nothing without you, I promise. Please don't be mad at me. I do everything for you. You're my everything! My beloved, my prince, my liege, my first thought in the morning and last thought at night. I just need you by my side forever. Please, forgive me, just love me and make me feel safe again. I need you. I'm so obsessed but I'm afraid of sounding too attached. am I being too much? am I giving too much? am I scaring you? am I too attached? too needy? too obsessive for you? I swear I'll repress everything for you as long as you're comfortable with me. I need you. I need you to love me. im no one — im nothing without you telling me I mean something! I need you to care and show it. I'll hurt anyone you want me to! even myself! Please don’t be upset at me my beloved, I don’t think my already torn and fractured heart could take even the simple prick of a bloodied rose.

Lots of love,

Your little night watcher

“Won’t you stay with me my darling? When this house don’t feel like home?” /lyr

[your-little-night-watcher]

Dear my beloved,

I was looking through old letters from before I had found you again, from a lifetime ago where the sun did not shine and my heart was ripped apart in agony and the very threads of my being weeped your name into the silence of the night. Every night for 6 years. From when I tried so desperately not to forget your face, your name, your voice, your touch, your smell, your smile, your laugh, your everything. I should not feel so melancholy tracing over these words that mean so little now but I can’t help but feel my heart snap and crumble into small unfixable feelings all over again, I can’t bare the thought that perhaps one day I might loose you again - that this time I won’t get you back. I barely notice my legs give way as I fall on my knees to the floor, I should not feel this way - I can’t feel this way. I am not allowed to indulge in such feelings, I buried the person who wrote those letters with his bleeding heart, I buried him in memories woven into the stars themselves.

“I loved them and they loved me and our love was pure and strong and when I was with them, they made my whole world bright - they could pull me out of any depressive episode if they breathed my way and I felt things were gonna be okay, it wasn’t perfect and it didn’t need to be perfect it just needed to be. It’s been a few days and I can’t hold up, I should have seen the signs - I should have been there or- done something. I miss them so much, why didn’t they say good bye? I loved them then and I still love them and the worst thing is that I will never be able to mourn them - only the memory of them, I will never get the comfort or closure and it doesn’t feel real. They’re gone. They’re not coming back to me. But it doesn’t feel right, the flowers would have died, the world would have stopped spinning and the world would collapse on itself.. but it won’t will it, they’re gone and the flowers still bloom, and the world still spins and life moves on. But not me, I can’t. I still can’t believe it and it’s been 4 days.”

Lots of love,

Your little night watcher

“Shooting stars never fly for me, my hearts on Mars kinda hard to see. You know, You know I’ll see you again” /lyr

[your-little-night-watcher]

Dear my beloved,

It’s thundering tonight, I know how much you hate it, I hope you are well wherever you are tonight. There are no stars in the sky, the universe is void of all light it seems, I miss you dearly - do you miss me too? When I am with you, I feel the change within me, even though I don't display it. You make me feel as if all my edges have been filed down into something softer, something easier to love, and I hope to God you do. Though a part of me tells me it doesn’t matter, that though my edges have been softened and filed down - though I am easier to love, those words and those sentiments mean nothing. All I can do is write it out on here and pray to whatever higher being is observing that I am relieved some stress, because what good would any of it do? It doesn’t matter that I would do everything I could in the world to make you happy, it doesn’t matter that I’d always be there, it doesn’t matter that I’d help however I could, it doesn’t matter that I’d really genuinely care. None of it matters because I will still never be enough. It’s in my dna to never be enough for anyone and I’m scared that’s the fate I’m doomed to.

Lots of love,

Your little night watcher

“I don’t know what to do without you - I don’t think I could stand to be where you don’t see me” /lyr

[your-little-night-watcher]

Dear my beloved,

Did you like the little gift I left behind on your window?<3

Lots of love,

Your little night watcher