#as a kinnie i had the perfect outfit to put on them

[egg-baby-official]

The gender gang, but they are wearing my own clothes =)!

[lalis-fandom-stuff]

Original twins headcanons

I'm finally making this after months. Here's some random facts from my fic. Let's go.

Ok mostly they're opposites in everything (very predictable, I know). Rafal dresses like a royal, Rhian has an infinite amount of copies of the same outfit like a cartoon character. Rafal is charming and good at speeches and all that jazz, Rhian doesn't want to be percieved. Rafal is a Light Yagami kinnie, Rhian has 0 self esteem. Rafal is an absolute monster, Rhian is a literal angel. You get the drill. One thing that they do have in common is that they're both introverts.

They're left handed. It's not relevant, I just accidentally made them left handed in a drawing and now I decided it's canon.

Random Rhian facts: he's your typical Hufflepuff. He has a pretty smile. He hates responsabilities and talking to stranger. He likes walking in the woods. He deserved better. I miss him a lot (and I make him suffer in every chapter even tho he's my favourite character).

Rhian is the only valid straight person in sge sorry I don't make the rules 😔✋🏻. I think I accidentally made Rafal aromantic. I sincerely apologize to all my aro followers for that.

According to Personality Databes, Rafal's MBTI type is INTJ. I decided that Rhian is INFP because I kin him.

As I said in a previous post, Rhian is a cottagecore king and Rafal is too much into dark royalcore. Uhm. Interesting contrast.

Rhian's talent is ice magic (because their dad is related to the Snow Queen) and Rafal's is controlling shadows (Shadow!Rafal canon ✨).

They actually became school masters a short time after their third year (does that count as a fourth year quest?!). The reasons why they put two litteral 18 year olds on charge of protecting the most important entity in the woods? 1. They're two twins from different schools, therefore a perfect symbol of balance between Good and Evil (wich was very needed in that time period). 2. They're some of the best students from that year. 3. The previous School Master died suddenly (... long story) and they were really desperate to find a new one. 4. Their dad is famous and no one wants to upset him. 5. "They're siblings!! They should get along!!! Right?!" (And then they didn't).

Rhian didn't even want to be a School Master, one day Rafal basically went "Hey I know you want to live in a cottage with your gf and shit but I wanna become the School Master very badly and they probably won't let me without you" and Rhian was like "😀?!?!? Ok I guess?!?!!!!" (Spoiler: it was a terrible idea).

Pretty irrelevant but young Rafal wears a shitton of rings because I think they're cool. Later on he gets into gloves (because they give creepy vibes and also for sad edgy reasons).

Their mother (Ingrid, name stolen from @tedros-is-helpless ) is a former Ever and their father (mr Isa Mistral, that fucking bastard) is a Never. Wich creates a lot of drama, even tho Isa doesn't live with them.

Rafal is good at seeing people's true natures (=mostly if they're Evers or Nevers) and Rhian is good at understanding other people's emotions. Except that they use these qualities in the worst way possible. So yeah my first hot take from today are "Rafal has some sort of emotional intelligence but he only uses it for evil".

Rhian is generally better at magic and Rafal is furios about it, even tho he doesn't show it.

Rafal really gets into weapons (especially very fancy daggers that can conveniently be hidden in your sleeve to kill your brother).

No but they were actually very close when they where little, but they broke apart a little bit when they started school. Rhian kinda hoped that becoming the school masters would solve everything, but as you might expect it got really shitty real quick (and it was Rafal's fault, as always. He's gross).

My secon hot take is "the only person Rafal ever loved was Rhian and deep down he regrettes killing him". And he knew that Rhian cared about him but he simply decided to ignore it and pursue power instead. (Also his idea of "caring" is "I want him by my side and I don't want him dead" and not "I want him to be happy").

Rafal felt like he could only be truly himself with Rhian, wich either means "snarky edgy teen" or "manipulative and controlling monster that only cares about himself" depending on the context. Basically he's only nice to important people and he's passive aggressive.

Rhian is only twenty-something when he dies and that breaks me (even tho I wrote it). Also he always tried to justify Rafal's actions because he didn't want to lose him and, even tho he eventually had to put the School's safety first, he loved him until the very end. Maybe it doesn't hit you as hard described like this, but it definetly hit me hard a worring amount of times a day.

So yeah. Here's what, as the kids say, lived into my mind rent free for the last year. I wrote most of this at 1 am and it shows. Please like it.

[ughgclden]

ahhh congrats on 900 lovely!! may i get a 🎞 for dps or hp pls? i have ~wavy~ shoulder length dark brown hair and i do that annoying little thing where you put on blush to make it look like a sunburn, that mainly covers my freckles. cher horowitz & jackie burkhart are the blueprint when i dress and sometimes my friends make fun of me and call me the pink character :/ i’m passionate about musical theatre, and go to a performing arts school for such and such reason. i also really enjoy baking, doodling, archery. my personality could be described as very warm mom friend who holds ur hand when we cross the street, and worries about you after school type beat. lily evans kinnie :( i’m very loyal, and opinionated and i can be stubborn at times ( all the time babe :( ) thank you so much, and congrats again on a very well deserved 900!!! 💕

ahh thanks so so much lovely !!! of course,, i'll do both bcos i'm a fiend and love writing these things - i hope u like them !!! thanks sm for sending something in <333 i apologise about how long this is - i started writing the dps one completely forgetting i was also doing the hp one,, i have no impulse control

if you were in dead poets society..

i think the first poet you'd meet would be neil! as you're extremely passionate for musical theatre and have a talent for the performing arts, it's not surprising when you end up in a production with him. thanks to your warm personality and neil's extroverted nature and desire to make friends, it doesn't take long for you both to become friendly. he really appreciates your support and help, due to his problems with his dad and such, and thinks you give the most perfect advice. by opening night, you guys are great friends, and he's told you all about the poets who are coming along to watch him and how they'll love you. and he was definitely right, because when mr todd anderson spots you on stage, the lights hitting you just right to where you look like you're glowing, acting like it's second nature to you, his mind goes into overdrive.

after the show, he nervously asks neil about you, trying to act casual, but neil can read him like a book and instantly realises that he has a crush. he invites you over to meet his friends, paying a little extra attention to todd when he introduces the two of you. because he's a devil, he proposes that the poets and you and your friends who've come to support you all go out together - there's a local diner not too far from here that you could all head to at the weekend. everyone thinks this is a great idea, and todd is ready to kill neil. so when the weekend rolls around and you show up, he thinks you're the prettiest person he's seen, the blush on your nose adding to your overall angelic look.

it goes without saying that charlie LOVES your outfits so much - he thinks you have incredible style, and will compliment at least one of your clothing items each and every time he sees you. he will be your main hype man okay. he also definitely wants to do archery with you, because he thinks it's so so badass and he won't turn down an opportunity to add to his self proclaimed coolness.

i also think you'd get on so well with pitts - mom friends stick together, and pitts is definitely a mom friend. you're both the impulse control from the poets, having to convince charlie or knox that their 'genius' ideas are not that genius at all. the fact that you're super loyal is something all of the poets admire - they know they've found a good friend in you, and can always rely on you if they need to.

and when they find out you can bake? oh god, it's chaos. with this new found knowledge, they now desperately want to bake with you and you and pitts have to try and wrangle these overly excited boys so you can make something actually edible.

if you were in harry potter...

again, thanks to your warm nature, people are just drawn to you, so i think you'd get on well with practically everyone at hogwarts. you'd definitely be approached by a lot of the younger students who are nervous or lost, as you look approachable and kind, not intimidating like other students who tower over them and push them in the corridors.

i think you'd be closest to ginny, neville and luna. luna thinks your hair is super pretty, and is constantly placing flowers in it, sometimes even braiding them into the strands if she has time. you and ginny are both stubborn, loyal and opinionated, so you get on extremely well on that front, both enjoying sticking by your friends and standing up for yourself and what you think is right. neville loves seeing your doodles, please slide some towards him during class, it makes them more bearable for him. i can also see you being good friends with angelina johnson!

due to your friendship with angelina, it isn't long before a certain red-head starts catching feelings for you. it's george, i'm talking about george. listen, he just thinks you're super sweet, and he adores your fashion and freckles. plus, with your mom friend attitude and general care for people, how could he not begin falling for you?

BUT if we're talking the marauders era, it's only fitting you're best friends with lily, marlene, dorcas and mary. oh my god, you'd be the most iconic friendship group that everyone else would be jealous of. i'm talking late night karaoke sessions, a silencing charm cast on your dorm to avoid waking up your fellow classmates. there'd be so many hogsmeade outings, wandering around all of the different shops and just enjoying being in each other's company.

i definitely think remus would have the biggest crush on you. he isn't really sure when it started. he just remembers waking up one day with the knowledge that he likes you, and that was that. he'd be a bit apprehensive to make a move, not knowing if you reciprocate his feelings. but if you show any indication? he's jumping at the chance to ask you out

i hope these were okay babe!! like i said, im so sorry about how long they got, i've had a lot of coffee and i'm a menace when it comes to these things- but i truly hope you like them !!! thanks for sending something in, i adore your blog and the fact we're mutuals is mind-blowing <33

[crossiantgay]

Stronger Than (These Emotions)

Based on the post by @roman-exe about logan romancing roman :)

@tired-logan-kinnie here ya go :D

Most recently, Logan had come across an epiphany. He found himself in a predicament, unlike one he was accustomed to solving. Bluntly, he had fallen in love. And he had fallen hard. He was in a unique circumstance; the person he would have asked for help with all of this, was exactly who he needed help with. He was in love with the epitome of romance. 

Now, to get the obvious out of the way, the best though most risky decision would be to confess his feelings. He could, of course, not speak of his feelings but he knew he could only suppress them for so long and they would come upfront eventually. And he’d rather confess them on his own accord rather than be embarrassed on a slip of the tongue. So, the only option was to confess his feelings. Alright. Now, begged the question of how. He could come right out and say it, and that would be fine. But just fine. It made sense to increase his chances of success, to confess in a way the prince would adore. Roman always talked about those grand acts of love, a prince sweeping a princess off her feet, the stories that Disney and fairy tales produced. Well, there was no way he could make a fairy tale of his own without use of the imagination, but Roman seldom let anyone in there besides Remus so that was unlikely. Still, he could try to win him over. He gnawed on his bottom lip. He was trying to woo the prince of romance. It would be difficult, true but then again Logan liked a challenge. 

    Upon reflection, his feelings originated in one brainstorming session. It was late at night and they had gotten way off track. Roman was rambling about something, editing a paper with a large red crayon and his eyes seemed to sparkle as he talked. His hair was mussed and dark circles were forming under his eyes, but he was just as animated as ever. He was waving his hand about eccentrically as he spoke, making edits with his other hand. Even this late at night, Roman still had the vigor he held early that day. Roman had a passion that none of the others seemed to possess. A deep drive, a fire to always push himself further and Logan admired that. 

    Then there was the incident on a summer’s day. Logan only remembered that because Roman had the blinds drawn wide open, letting the sun illuminate the room. Because of the summer heat, Roman had a fan haphazardly stuck out the window, only the screen holding it from falling (Logan thought it was a bad idea but Roman assured him it would be fine). Logan walked in to tell him something, only to find Roman working at an easel, smeared with paint and downing a loose white shirt that was also coated in paint. There were flecks of it in his hair, making that stick out at imperfect angles. Possibly the most astounding part was what Roman was working on. Before Roman was a vase of flowers set on a couple cardboard boxes and Roman had almost copied it to a tea, of course swapping out the amazon boxes for a white platform. To say it was stunning was an understatement. Logan was snapped out of his thoughts when Roman turned around and unconsciously ran a hand through his hair and grimaced as paint dribbled through his caramel locks, sticking it together in bright green and pink clumps. 

“Nice to see you here, Specs,” Roman said as he wiped his hands off on his shirt.

“Your painting looks phenomenal” Logan said breathlessly, ignoring the question. Even though Roman was extremely talented, he always fumbled at compliments. His cheeks tinted a rosy pink. 

“Th-thanks” He stuttered out and Logan smiled a bit.

“Of course” He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked around the room. They slipped into a conversation, though Logan was only half-invested, letting his mind wander. Roman was so talented, Logan was always stunned when he saw his latest creation. Though he also embodied creativity, he was always impressed when he saw what roman could make. Watching Roman measure out the dimensions for sketches, and combine what was such a natural and impulsive art form with rules and steps, was astounding. Roman was so spontaneous and less rigid than he was, but also followed rules and instructions like he did. Logan began to understand how creativity was intelligence being fun. 

    The next moment that came to mind was far more recently. Logan was sitting on Roman’s bed helping him clean out his closet. Logan was growing a bit bored watching Roman try on shirt after shirt. Logan was studying the bedsheets when roman came out in yet another outfit. 

“Well? What do you think?” Logan’s head snapped up and he had a snarky remark on the tip of his tongue when his breath caught in his throat and he felt his face heat up. Roman was in a red evening dress, which was very curve-hugging. Curves that Roman had. There was a slit cut down one side of the dress, what he believed was a ¾ cut; and it almost seemed to shimmer in the light. It was the perfect mix of elegant and sensual, and it sent a shiver down Logan’s spine. 

“Well-I-uh-” He sputtered as Roman grinned and spun around. Logan buried his head in his hands, pushing his glasses to rest in his hair. 

“I’ll take that as a good sign,” Roman grinned and ran into the bathroom to change. “This one’s definitely a keeper” 

It was about a half an hour past the incident, which he bet Roman would have called a broke gay moment they were almost done with going through his closet. Roman pulled out a hoodie from the back of the closet and looked at it suspiciously. He slipped off his shirt, not even caring about Logan's presence and slid on the hoodie. Logan recognised it immediately. 

“Why do you have my hoodie?” Logan asked, quirking an eyebrow. Roman flapped his arms in the oversized hoodie and Logan ran his eyes down Roman’s outfit. The hoodie fell a few inches above his knees and hung off one shoulder. Roman flipped up the hood and seemed to melt into the warmth. 

“It still smells like you..” He mumbled as his eyes slipped shut. “Like mint and dark chocolate” Logan saw Roman’s knees buckle dangerously and he bolted up, catching Roman and picking him up bridal style as Roman yawned. 

“Maybe we should stop for a bit?” Logan asked, the shock of the surprise not leaving his voice as Roman barely nodded. 

“Just for-” he yawned again “a short nap” Logan nodded a bit and sighed, setting him up on the bed and wrapping him in a blanket. 

“Will you help me finish when I wake up?” Roman cracked an eye open as he turned on his side, looking like a human caterpillar in the blanket. Logan nodded as he smoothed out Roman’s hair. 

“Of course” Roman smiled faintly. 

“Thanks hon-” He yawned again and fell asleep. That was the moment Logan should’ve known he loved Roman. How that pet name made him feel like he was on fire, how much he wanted to cradle Roman to sleep, were indicative signs of a crush Logan dismissed at the time for just being ‘a caring friend’. He could only hope that the others hadn’t discovered his apparent infatuation. If they had, well then he wouldn’t hear the end of it. At the end of the day, he was figuratively head over heels for Roman. He was so deeply in love with every part of him. His passion, his creativity, and he felt shallow for saying this, but Roman was objectively attractive. He didn’t know what he’d do if he didn’t express these feelings sooner or later. 

    The next morning he set his plan into action. He’d do just a few flirty lines and touches, just to figuratively test the water. Roman was stirring his coffee near the coffee maker and Logan walked by to get his mug, brushing hands with him. Roman looked up at him quizzically but Logan ignored him, pretending if nothing had happened. Logan finished making his coffee and went to walk away. As he did, he looked the princely side up and down which brought a pinkish tint to Roman’s cheeks. 

“You look cute today” He smirked and took a sip of his coffee, leaving roman baffled and blushing. He waited a bit before he made his next move, which was at movie night that night. Everyone was crammed on the couch, Virgil retreating to the corner with Janus and Remus on the edge and Patton on the floor because they ran out of space. They were all wearing their respective onesies and the horn of Roman’s beast onesie was poking into Logan’s shoulder. 

At some point into the movie, Roman shivered and Logan noticed, eyes flicking to him. Logan wrapped an arm around him, pulling Roman closer. Roman instinctively cuddled into his side before he realized what he was doing and locked eyes with Logan, blushing noticeably. 

“What? You looked cold” Logan whispered and Roman looked away, snuggling closer to him. 

    The credits were just starting to roll as Logan felt something tickle his jaw. Sure enough, a very sleepy Roman was cuddling him, caramel locks brushing against Logan’s chin and one arm wrapped around him, head nuzzled into his chest. Logan’s heart hammered in his chest at the sight and he blushed a dark crimson. Patton grinned and gave him a thumbs up as Janus started to bring Remus to bed. Virgil sat up and yawned. “You gonna stay down here, Lo?” 

Logan nodded and sighed. “I don’t think I have much of a choice” Patton nodded. 

“You two have fun!” 

“But not too much fun” Janus said instinctively and yawned. Logan nodded and put his glasses on the counter, trying to get into a comfortable position. He held roman loosely and his eyes slipped shut. 

    He woke up early the next morning, by the look of the clock around 4 or so though it was hard to be certain without his glasses. Thankfully, Roman was still asleep. He smiled a bit and played with Roman hair, pulling a blanket over them. Roman yawned and stirred, making Logan instantly curse himself. 

“Shh, shh, stay asleep-” Logan hushed him quickly, to no avail. 

“What? Why’d I-” Roman tried to sit up but Logan continued to hold him. 

“Just go back to sleep, hun. It’s too early I’m sorry I woke you up” Logan blurted out. 

“What’s-” Roman was slurring his words. “What’s goin’ on..?” He sat up and rubbed his eyes 

“I woke you up, I’m sorry it’s like 4 in the morning please go back to sleep” He said hastily and Roman sighed. 

“Tell me-” he yawned “in the morning” There was the warmth pressing against him again as Roman buried his head in the crook of Logan’s neck. 

Logan ran his fingers through Roman’s hair--how is his hair that soft?-- and smiled down at the boy in his arms. He would confess in the morning, right after Roman woke up he would tell him and get everything sorted out. 

But even Logic should be accustomed to the fact that not everything goes to plan. 

    Roman woke up at about 7 that morning, just as the kitchen was filling with people. He stretched, only to lock eyes with a very asleep Logan. He jumped as Logan’s eyes cracked open and he yawned. The memories of last night hit him like a brick wall and he felt his face heat up as he realised he had been cuddling with Logan all night. Logan’s shoulders relaxed and he smiled warmly at Roman, still laced with sleep. 

“Morning,Roro” He adjusted his glasses and ran a hand through Roman’s hair, somewhat fixing his bedhead (Which Logan would never say he thought was adorable). Roman was now a dark crimson, envying the color of his sash. It brought Logan a great deal of pride when he saw how flustered Roman was. 

“Is something wrong, my rose?” Logan asked gently. Roman shook his head and stood up, stuttering out an apology or two as he scrambled off to his room. Logan sighed, sitting up and started getting ready for the day. 

    Logan got to his desk and saw a note written in black ink. It read “meet me in the storage room, 8 tonight”. The note was written today and the writing was barely legible, looking like someone wrote it with their non-dominant hand. That, along with the fact the note was colorless, made it near impossible to tell who sent it. Logan made a reminder for himself at 7:55, this was far too intriguing to let go. 

    The work day seemed to pass by all too slowly, each minute dragging on for a few seconds longer, and all he could think about was who sent the note. By the end of the day, Logan was quite on-edge, being startled by even the drop of a pen. Finally, he heard the quiet beep of his computer, alerting him that the time of apprehension has rolled around. Not that he hadn’t been staring at the clock for several minutes now, anyway. He straightened himself out and made his way to the storage room. He fiddled with the doorknob for a few seconds, just now realizing how sweaty his hands were. He wiped his hands down on his jeans before jiggling the doorknob again, and the door swung open. 

    Roman was standing in the room, arms crossed over his chest and an unamused expression on his face. Logan felt his heart beat quicker and he put on the least-caring expression he could think of. 

“Greetings, Roman. I assume you’re the one that left the cryptic note on my desk?” Roman rolled his eyes before looking at the ground and shoving one hand into his pocket. 

“What is with you, Logan? One second you’re giving me all the pet names like ‘my rose’ and ‘Roro’ and the next you’re acting like we’ve never met!” Oh. so that is what this is about. “Just tell me what’s going on so I can try to help, but I’m sick of this game of two-face!” Logan crossed his arms over his chest and stayed silent. “Because I don’t know if you love me or hate me, and every time I think I’ve done something wrong!” 

“You want answers?” Logan asked, monotone and Roman nodded. 

“Please, Logan! Just tell me what’s-” Logan cupped Roman’s face with both hands and kissed him. So this is what it was like to hold the whole world in your hands. They stayed like that for a few moments before Logan stumbled back as Roman pushed him away. Roman’s chest was heaving and a dark blush was spotting his cheeks. Despite all of this, he looked upset. Had Logan done something wrong?-

“Answers. Now.” Roman crossed his arms over his chest again. Logan scrambled to try and correct his thoughts. Now was the moment of truth, he needed something perfect to say or-or- 

“Logan, focus” Roman’s hands were on his forearms as he looked at Logan with soft eyes, very different from the wild and scared look in his, matching a spooked horse. If Roman truly loved him back, then he wouldn’t need some elegant speech to win him over. Just say what he thought.

“I-I don’t know the right way to say this, and I don’t think I ever will.” He looked down and wrung his hands, on-edge. Roman nodded slowly, his shoulders relaxing. “I love you, Roman. And I have for a while now” Roman’s eyes widened but Logan continued. “I love every part of you. Your passion, your creativity,” Logan laughed a bit “even your bedhead.” Roman looked away, the blush more prominent on his face. “All this time, I was trying to come out with some grand gesture to confess my love for you, something equal to the fairy-tale rescues you are always admiring” Roman went to step towards him, and Logan flinched involuntarily, incredibly alert and vulnerable now. A lot more than he was used to being. “And I’m saying you have to feel the same way, I just wanted to tell you how I feel. In no way am I expecting you to have the same-” Roman’s lips met his again. This one was soft and gentle, like the steady crashing of waves. Logan thought he might just melt into a pulled of stunned bliss as his hands slowly found their way to wrap around Roman’s waist. Eventually, Roman pulled away, a wide grin on his face, probably matching Logan’s own. 

“Hypocrite,” he muttered, a smile ever-present on his face and Roman giggled. Logan thought he was having a heart attack and had slipped into a coma. That was the only explanation, this was too perfect and sweet and somehow everything he ever wanted. He’d have to have one more kiss to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. And maybe another one after that. 

    Later that night as he was sitting on the couch with his now-boyfriend fast asleep and tucked into his side, he had finally found the state of Schrodinger's cat, had seen the dark side of the moon, and had found his whole world. And it could be summarized into one word. One glorious, extravagant word that represented someone who always made things more complicated than they needed to be, who wasn’t afraid to belt out musical ballads at ungodly hours of the night, and to him was the ying to his yang. To him, someone who was perfectly imperfect and someone he was certain he wanted to be with his whole life. And that person’s name was Roman. 

[ughgclden]

bee, love, don’t apologise, please, it’s okay, and first and foremost, are you alright?? i hope you’re taking care of yourself, love, but i understand, i don’t think there’s been a year since third grade that i haven’t gotten pneumonia in the winter. I hope you’re feeling alright!!

honestly, dead poets society is one of my only personality traits anymore, i find myself drawing parallels to it constantly, for no reason but i love thinking about it. i’ve watched it so many times at this point, it’s,,, concerning. those tests always take me way less time than they give me, and i used to feel really awkward, i remember i took a bio one once, four hours they gave me, 45 minutes in, i was finished, and the moderator didn’t believe me. i aced it too, like the silly little neil kinnie i am. i’ve gotten used to the ‘worse’ side of being a neil kinnie, and honestly, now that my mum isn’t as controlling about everything as she used to be, it’s easier to deal with. i remember once, i’d gotten an 89 in algebra, and she threatened to pull me out of the fall show. that was a neil perry moment if i ever had one lol. the biggest thing these days is just imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome like oh you’re not hispanic enough, but also, you’re not queer enough, nonbinary enough, things like that. It’s exacerbated some days, but i try.

i watched the it movies on my cousin’s hbo,,, i may or may not have used it without her permission since she forgot to log out of my computer, but that’s neither here nor there. i remember having such a hard time taking the first one seriously initially, because of all the new kids on the block jokes, having a mum who was obsessed with them made it hard, especially when i actually got them all- in truth, the only midnight premiere i’ve been able to make was the force awakens, and i had school the next day too. i’m definitely a richie kinnie, and i have the internalised homophobia (only towards myself though) to prove it /hj my waterbottle has both a sticker of neil on it and a sticker of the r + e carving on it. in case there was any doubt about me lmao. stan kin makes sense for you, honestly, i can see it, i can see it.

okay so listen- no really, i’d bought them with the intention of only drinking half of one that night and spreading them out like that, but then came 9:45pm, and i had a research paper (on womens’ pockets/lack thereof) due at 10am that i simply hadn’t even started, so i downed them all in an hour and got the paper turned in at 5:56 in the morning. but i scare you huh? /hj bee, you’re too sweet, in truth, i’m fairly inelegant, but i try, as for the comforting and cosy, i’ll take you at your word, since that is something only someone interacting with me could discern. i do try to be kind to others for the most part. mainly i think because i’m usually on the other end of mean people.

i’m just perceptive like that bee, i dunno what to tell you, something just tells me, you know? /j and thank you, i always feel a little silly talking about it, because most of the tattoos i want are dead poets society tattoos, i guess some part of me, within the part of me that feels so incredibly tied to it, feels as if if i were able to get a tattoo i’d owe it to the movie in some way, if that makes any sense. i’ve already begged a friend of mine to go with me to get my first once i get to new york, the question though, is what to get first. i’ve got time to make a decision (for once in my life) i just spend a lot of time thinking about it.

honestly, i have never known a school rule to make sense. banning ripped jeans? banning dyed hair? it’s almost as if if they don’t stifle everything natural about kids expressing themselves they dont feel like they’re doing anything. but i digress. the same-sex couple rules were. awful. 12 year old me had enough going on without having an administrator yell at my friend and i for hugging in the courtyard and not leaving until we were a foot apart, but hey.

okay, jumping over a fence to go to a mcdonalds? how coming of age indie movie manic pixie dream girl of you /hj

200k words, is that a challenge? also ahaha not at all like my italian uncle up there just opened a ‘pizzeria’ /hj but mob!star au? might be a project i should start… granted, i’m not as good a storyteller as you, but i can try.

when i was little, i wanted to revolutionise things, i guess. i even actually wrote out a campaign, i wonder if its still somewhere. thank you for believing in me, but these days, bee, i’m thinking less about changing the world, and more about making it the next few weeks, and then the ones after that. little star was aware of so much, but also so little. i wonder what they’d think of me now, honestly.

i did, in fact, teach archery, it was so fun but my arms got SO SORE, and the kid who challenged my archery skills seemed surprised when i actually,, hit the bullseyes. my inner susan was happy then. incidentally the experience is also why i made a playlist called “touchstarved and wanting to teach you to shoot a bow” which low-key slaps when i’m lonely. and bee omg i cannot believe you said im better than susan pevensie i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life thank you- and yes, yes it was named aslan, however did you guess? /j prince caspian<33333

i’ll let you know my results from the tournament, as soon as they come out, and i say this having just put on pjs after taking off my suit, and sitting in the room with my cat in my dear evan hansen hoodie, frantically refreshing the results page because i’m anxious and impatient.

i hope you have a good night, with fitful and restful sleep, i’m sorry this got to be so long, but you know me, i certainly can talk. i’m honestly shocked i even made it to finals, considering i was running off four hours of sleep, having gone to bed at three last night. whoops.

all my love, hugs, and a warm mug of tea,

yours,

star✨

p.s i said yes so that?? happened?? it honestly feels surreal but we’re not gonna be in the same place anymore come the end of this year, so that’ll be something to deal with

P.p.s might just start adding spanish or latin or russian phrases to these if i keep having to translate your cute french bee /lh /hj

star my love, i know you said don't apologise, but i think the word 'sorry' makes up about 60% of my vocabulary. i'm okay!! was just a bit icky, but luckily i've recovered now!!

that's so nice - and again, makes so much sense for you. i think you would work perfectly in welton, i know it. i love bringing the messages from that film into my own life, as silly as it may sound. i'm astonished, and so fucking jealous of you. i used to finish tests maybe half an hour early, but hours is so impressive??? fun fact i did finish my physics final in about 45 minutes and slept for the other hour <3 neil would b proud my love!!! oh my god - i'm so sorry that happened??? but that is also so neil kinnie??? it seems futile me saying this, but i assure you that you are hispanic enough, and queer enough, and non-binary enough. you are enough, period. more than enough even. imposter syndrome is the worst, and i'm so so sorry you're dealing with it.

she did that to herself, you just saw an opportunity /lh a midnight premiere of the force awakens sounds so cute though omg - i hope you had the absolute best time. the r + e carving actually broke me. as a die hard reddie shipper since 2017, seeing the movie make it basically canon?! had me a mess in the cinema.

you are ridiculously comforting and cosy, everything about you feels like a warm hug from a familiar face and i love it. and the way you write is so smooth, it makes me think of a quill smoothly gliding across parchment, the deep black ink unsmudged and pristine. that seems a little pretentious of me, but oh well.

i also want some dps tattoos!! i desperately want "and still we sleep" from todd's poem, and was also so so tempted to get an outline drawing of meeks + pitts dancing on the roof. i love that, and i can't wait until the day you get it, whichever one it may be. my one concern is becoming addicted to them and making my bank account suffer - at least my piercing obsession is a little easier to fund /hj

i've NEVER gotten that - they claim it's 'distracting' but how on earth would it be?? when i got to college, no one was distracted by my dyed hair, and i certainly wasn't distracted by other people's outfits or painted nails. you were yelled at. for hugging. a friend.. what the fuck is wrong with these people??

just call me ramona flowers star /j it was possibly the highlight of my school career, sans hiding in the back room of the music room to avoid a maths test

i bet you're an amazing storyteller, if these letters are anything to go by. it would be a new york times best seller, i know it

we all have to take things one step at a time, i think. that's the only way i really get through things if i'm honest. one day after another and the cycle repeats. i love wondering what young me would think of me now - i'd probably be intimidated of myself, but i like to think i'd be proud that i'm still here, pursuing something i love

that playlist. sounds nothing short of sheer perfection. i too am touch starved and want to teach someone to shoot a bow - even though i.. cannot shoot a bow... but i can wield a sword so, it's close enough.

i saw your message about the tournament results - im so fucking proud of you!!!! you deserve it so so much and i couldn't be happier for you. see, your words and ideas are changing the world, even if you don't realise it.

ps; that is so fun???? omg im so happy for you star, you deserve tis <33 i hope towards the end of this year whatever happens leaves you both happy, no matter how far the distance.

pps; omg no.. please don't do that.. aha that would be awful... definitely wouldn't make my heart race.. haha not at all

all of my love, star. pardon the pun, but you are out of this world ;) i'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes;

il n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé <3