#aside from me stumbling upon something I don't except to trigger an emotional response right away so maybe??? I should look for that tonigh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

izzy-b-hands · 7 months

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My brain and eyes sitting here having me brimming with tears like: yes, we want to cry, crying would be helpful! A release of endorphins!

Me: Cool, let's cry then. I'm trying to make the tears actually...go, but y'all aren't letting them fall???

Brain (eyes are hostages essentially at this point imo): oh. Shit. you actually wanted that, huh? how about a stomachache instead even though you just forced yourself to eat enough calories to call it 'dinner'

Me: Can I at least cry while my gut hurts?

Brain: Oh! No. No, you can't :)

#text post #like it's whatever I have these days Im just so fed up at my brain still being so deep in survival mode that I can barely cry #we'll feel better if we fucking cry!! even a little!! let's get it over with but nooooo what if something happens where we need to be ready #to help or be responsible for others even tho that's almost definitely Not Going To Happen rn #and even if it did it would be FINE we'd be FINE it would be easy to help out and then come back to my own shit #but no no crying just getting really close to it and then my brain refusing to let it happen.#i literally just finished eating too and immediate cramping like bro can we fucking not for once with this #I know things have been A Lot but we're somewhere safe w/ppl close and nearby that care abt us!#seemingly without me needing to earn or justify their caring even!! which is sort of rare for me which is probably half the issue tbh #but like. WE'RE SAFE CHILL THE FUCK OUT AND LET ME CRY GODDAMN IT #gonna have to ask a future therapist to stab me on the left side so i can cry bc idk wtf else will trigger it at this point #aside from me stumbling upon something I don't except to trigger an emotional response right away so maybe??? I should look for that tonigh #looking for movie playlist that's just titled Emotionally Devastating Movies For Broken Boys lmao

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