#ask game: what are some assumptions abt me u have made

[wiggledforsquiggled]

assumption: u have/had a crush on at least one mutual at one point

Imagine couldn't be me L

no i have had exaclty One (1) crush in my entire life, and it is on my irl bestie and i am still not over it after 4 years (everytime we hold hands i die a little /pos)

[thisdreamplace]

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

[gingus-doon]

how about 10 and 23 for the ask game?

10. Which death hurt you the most?

- I'VE THOUGHT ABT THIS A LOT ACTUALLY COS LIKE... ok so like 1st time i played yttd? joe + kai's TORE ME TO PIECES. i played the shin lives route and couldn't play for MONTHS afterwards because i was just so wounded by joe and kai's death, i couldn't bear to see those again. HOWEVER... kanna's death hit me in a different way. might just be 'cause i waited so long to play the kanna lives route, but i fr sat with that guilt of her death for so long and the more analysis i read about her and shin the worse i felt about it?? so it's hard to say bc joe and kai's are the ones that will make me cry but kanna's is the one that will keep me up at night and haunt me. they're all very tragic, though...

—

23. Character you find suspicious?

- GIN. BABY BOY IS SUS AS HELL 😭😭 idk bout mastermind or anything but like... ok so like i saw this post and it pointed out how he made That One Sprite (with the wide neon green eyes) after u tell him that q-taro's been tazed or smth like that?? may be misremembering but it's weird!! plus there's the collar thing and how he keeps surviving, as other ppl have pointed out cos i totally didn't notice all of this myself lol. don't understand why asunaro would plant an agent in the game tho tbh...

also mai and hinako!!!! mai really scared me first time i played thru the game and there's the whole deal of her blushing (+ the gloves missing, if that matters..?) and she's still a little spooky with how cheerful she is in such a situation, especially after that death, though i guess she's just trying to cope best as she can

and my spooky daughter, hinako!!!! oh she is SO sus, like the most sus, but whatever happens cannot make me love her less because i love her. ANYWAY I THINK SHE'S SUS partially because of her disposition but MOSTLY because of her trial!! the painting isn't the same as her, so i keep wondering about it!!!! so, there's two possibilities... 1) hinako is the same person as the black haired girl and just looks different For Some Reason and 2) hinako and the black haired girl are different people. i think 2's more likely, so i'm operating under the assumption that the person we saw in the trial wasn't our hinako, but perhaps the real hinako mishuku? i'm fr just assuming that asunaro switcharooed her with the real one as an agent (but then again, still don't know why they'd need an agent in the death game lmao.) OR hinako could've led to the black-haired girl's death and / or assumed her identity (perhaps hinako was a non-candidate and wanted a chance to live...?) but i do think the chances of my latter guesses are slim as they are kind of just a mishmash of keiji and shin's first trials lol. but i do think it'd be kinda cool if hers paralleled theirs!! either way i wanna know what made her traumatized then beat it up 😭😭 i love her and i'm very excited to learn more abt her

ooooop that was rambly my b 👉🏼👈🏼

[norman-reedus-gossip-mod]

Anon: So DK started following HC on IG again lol now everyone is assuming it's because she's with NR and that's why now that's funny what is wrong with people. I wonder how long she will follow her this time until she gets pissed at something HC posts that involves her son and NR

Anon: Regarding Norman saying he was going home; I hate to piss in your beer here (believe me, I truly hope Norman is going home to poor EITD not staying in Germany with miss attention leech) but I seriously doubt that he would just tell a fan "Oh yeah, I going to Germany to see DK. Promise not to tell anyone?" IF he was heading there ... just saying --mod-- Fair point.

Anon: Another mod never posted my ask&I thought it was unfair. People were saying "Norman needs to come clean now" but what if he ALREADY HAS? What if the denial WAS truth/coming clean? They're JUST FRIENDS. All he's done is driven her around in car/on his bike. What did he do to make people assume HE lied here? Everything that's happened came from her. She trolls/follows him in the middle of his Eurotour/calls paps. What if he already did tell the truth?


Anon: 
The other blog is saying DK & NR a couple did I miss something? Where do they get these assumptions from just because she hopped on a plane and went to Spain making herself look more pathetic then she already does or is it because she started following HC on IG so all the sudden their a couple or because her and NR liked the same post made by HC this fandom is straight up crazy I sure hope people don't go by my IG posts or likes 😂


--mod-- If you did then I did. At this point there's only been one official statement and that was a denial from N. everything else is speculation and assumptions 




Anon: 
Glad to see NR went back to NY maybe they are just friends after all I guess the waiting game begins. I did see he followed HC again and liked the same pic DK did I guess DK is trying to make it look like her and HC are friends which I find so strange she's such a teenage girl she needs to really grow up but I remember in JJ fandom she would pull the same crap so this is old behavior for her I sure hope NR distances himself from her




Anon: 
Mod I totally respect Norman's right to a private life but w/ all the Dk crap, how can he not see that IF true he's w/ her, SHE is the one bringing all attention to him on purpose? She's the one who trolled his fandom on IG for abt 8 months/liked IG posts abt "hiding" a relationship/turned up in Barc. when he is in the center of twd promo w/ cameras everywhere/alerted paps she was leaving NY &even a pic of her w/ FB (of all ppl) in PARIS. IF true he COULD have privacy but not w/ what she's doing





Anon: 
Just to calm some down for the moment. I'm pretty sure DK is not back in the US. I think she's in Paris, the time she posted on IG was weird for her if she was in America. She never posts this time when there. Also she tagged a woman who lives in France and is her friend. So Norman did not travel to Germany to see her nor did he go back to the US to see her. Not saying they aren't together but not all his moves are for her. Do you still need any whiskey or bum touches, Mod? Willing to share 💁
--mod-- I don't tend to share supplies buuuuut maybe if you flirt with me 


Anon: Who wants to take bets on how long it will take NR and DK to be spotted together in NYC? 😉
--mod-- Jokes are fun. 🤣🤣🤣🤣



Anon: hey mod! I tried to ask in the modblog but it wouldn't let me. So what do you think of the whole clusterfuck now? do you think he would seriously risk his reputation and or fans for a fling-thing with D.K.? Just seems so out of character for him idk. You think him denying it meant something? his pr must be so pissed with how it makes him look. I think i'm the only one who believes him and that they met as friends. Is it okay to ask you what do you think of it all? --mod-- I still do think his denial meant something. Sure you can ask. My personal opinion is that I have no opinion on it because I don't care.  I haven't liked her since I saw first hand how she treats people, that has no barring on my fan-ness(it's a word 🤗) for N. I'm pretty good at ignoring things I don't like.

Anon: I think Norman's PR got in touch with HC now to try to smooth things over and keep appearances for anyone watching by having her follow and like DK on IG. Def. Not a coincidence with that Spain fiasco. But what's really going on. I still don't understand any of it. Surely he wouldn't lie with his Reps officially like he did and then be shown to look like a lying sneaking asshole 2 weeks later? Somethins weird --mod-- I doubt his PR people got in touch with HC. That women does her own thing. Only time will tell what's going on

Anon: Let more theories begin HC has started following DK on IG I have to say I do find it strange that if DK & NR are at odds and not getting along that HC would follow maybe she does approve of them and it's only a matter of time now that they do come out as a couple since I think HC approval would be one that NR would want along with his friends so time will tell how this all plays out --mod-- But why would, if they were a couple, need or want her permission.

Anon: Mod can I submit something about the dk mess for the Modblog? I just don't think Norman would make everyone who works for him look Untrustworthy and unreliable if he were lying with the PR statement. It makes it look so shady if he issued a release like that and then he is caught sneaking around with her after. Everything feels so staged right now. They haven't been seen together for a year but now twice in the past 2 weeks paparrazi "catch" them? This feels like Publicity

Anon: You think Norman is gonna come forward and making his and DK's relationship public at Jiimmy Fallon's next Friday? --mod-- Nope not even close.

Anon: At this point do u think they are fwb, couple or just friend. TBH how u think about Norman and dk 's behavior in Spain. No sugar coat pls. We want Norman happy also we must be honest to our opinion and our moral😢. And do u think they hide again somewhere over the shit rainbow?mod. TBH --mod-- I've always said they are a minimum friends. I don't know since I don't care about it it's hard for me to make an opinion other than meh... but everything I've seen, it doesn't come across as relationship of the bf/gf kind. He's never really had a problem being seen with the women he with. Whatever it is, it's weird and they need to figure it out.