#assuming that youre over 21 and its legal of course (wink wink nudge nudge)

[firelordhotman]

I have a question for if you suffer with chronic pain. Sometime last year I injured myself and have been living with chronic pain since, I live in fear everyday of causing flair ups because of how excruciating my pain is- and when I'm in pain I feel like my life is over. I cannot barely move, every step and shift is agonizing, i am rendered bed ridden at times. Do you have any tips on how to live life accepting your pain?

honestly anon, i wish i had more advice for you than i do! chronic pain is really hard to deal with, both physically and mentally, and im still in the process of figuring out how to accept and deal with it myself. im by no means an expert and honestly honored that you would come to me of all people for advice! if i have anything useful to offer you, its this: remember that nobody else in the world knows what its like to live in your body, except for you. and the people who actually care about you will know and respect this.

the last thing we need when flaring up is doctors and family members telling us that they know our pain better than we do - and yet, that seems to be all we get. they just LOVE to tell us that our pain cant possibly be THAT bad, that if we push beyond our limits just a liiiiittle bit more, we can “overcome” it (whatever that means). spoiler alert: if you try to push through the pain, all you will get is more pain! plus, you probably wont meet whatever unrealistically ableist expectations you were trying to meet anyway. pain exists for a reason! its your body's way of telling you that it cant do whatever youre asking it to do. and that really, really fuckin sucks when all youre asking it to do is, like, Exist, outside of your bed. it sucks bad. that's where the secret weapon comes in: a solid support system!

...okay, okay, i know the ~power of friendship~ wont actually fix anything. but the shitty thing is nothing else is really capable of "fixing" chronic pain either, aside from medication. so it still makes all the difference to have someone who genuinely *believes* you, and moreso who *respects* your needs and your limits. if i could wish for you to have one thing, anon, be it irl or online, it would be to have someone you can always reliably complain to about your pain without fear of judgement; someone who will check you whenever you start spiraling too deep into internalized ableism thoughts; someone who will keep you company on your worst days and say "you dont deserve this pain, but i will sit through it with you, and if you cant make it out of bed to see life's joys and pleasures, then by god i will bring life's joys and pleasures to you!!!"

(oh, and weed. lots and lots of weed)