#at least Qui gon could pick his small ass up when he’s asleep on him

[padawansuggest]

I need Yoda becoming Obi-Wan’s master because he would do NOTHING to curb that feral wild child, he’d watch Obi-Wan imbed his fangs into another kid and go ‘lol ain’t he cute?? What a baby’ and become obsessed with sending pictures of him to other counselors. Master Windu doesn’t need a thirty second video of Kenobi falling asleep in your humid bog apartment Master it’s giving him baby fever and making him vomit. Yoda will take a video of small teen Obi-Wan laying on him (no Master Yoda isn’t stuck he just can’t move a sleepy Padawan it’s against the rules!) and captioning it ‘big, he is getting, air, I am not getting’ and puts it up on JediBook for everyone to coo over. He would be the pampered darling of the temple instead of the wild feral angry cat he was in canon. In this verse he would have had his hair combed. That’s the only difference. Maybe if he didn’t look like a scraggly cat the temple wouldn’t have criticized him and his master so much. Yoda can groom him into looking like a proper human. Maybe. Sometimes. On Taungsdays.

Dooku is convinced to come home for family dinner and has to sit next to a child eating stew with feral glee under the table while Dooku worries about the sticky child touching him. Ew. Cin Dralig is enchanted and keeps giving him new teas to try. Dooku hates it here.