#at least just that they shouldnt release something just for the sake of confirming it and just leave it as book knowledge.

[puhpandas]

hi mutuals im just curious.

[ghosty-files]

after a 7 month wait, here it is! chapter 4 of Business as Usual

read it here on ao3

Walking back to Shane shouldn’t have felt like a mile long, but it did anyway. Sara’s words raced through Ryan’s head at the speed of light, each echoing throughout his mind like the first time he heard them. Shane couldn’t like him, right? They were bros, that was literally part of their branding for Christ’s sake! Ryan rubbed his eyes, and sat down at his desk.

Shane immediately turned his chair to face him, the swivel seeming far too playful for the current situation. “So,” he said. “What did Sara say?”

Ryan shrugged. “Not too much.” Lie. “Just told me to tell you that she still cares for you, and that she just needs some time to process.” Not a total lie. “Something about me having time to process and she didn’t.” The exact opposite of that statement is true.

Shane sighed, but Ryan couldn’t tell if it was relief or disappointment, or a strange mix of both. He nodded, staring off at Sara. “Well at least she doesn’t hate me.”

Ryan cracked a smile and patted Shane on the back. “There you go. Look at the bright side. She’ll come around, I know she will. Hell, she’s been with you for some time now, and demon or not, that doesn’t make all that go away. It just adds a new layer to your personality.”

Shane gave a small smile in return, before tensing up again. “Did you guys talk about anything else?”

Ryan tried not to freeze, it would just give him away. “I mean, I asked how her day was, and the shoot she just did, but not much else.”

Shane kept his eyes fixed on Ryan’s face, trying to read him on if he was telling the truth or not. The paranoid part of Ryan’s brain was thinking that maybe Sara’s conversation was a trick and Shane actually told her and was using her to see Ryan’s reaction.

Shane looked away, whether he was content with his reading, Ryan didn’t know, but there was relief flowing through him when Shane looked away.

“Ok,” Shane said. He took a breath in and released it slowly, running a hand through his hair.

There was something unsettling about knowing a demon can get worried about normal human stuff like relationship problems. If he let himself spiral, which he had many times when contemplating Shane’s demon status, he would fall into a pit of worry regarding whether the universe is even remotely safe if powerful beings like demons still had the emotions of humans.

Or maybe it was just Shane. Maybe he was the exception.

Ryan stopped himself, feeling like his thoughts were starting to have a double meaning. He couldn’t let his mind go back to his conversation with Sara. He’d get nothing done just dwelling on the fact that Shane might have a crush on him. How would he even address it? How wou-

“Ryan!”

Ryan snapped out of his trance, looking back at Shane. “Huh?”

“You were staring at your keyboard for like five minutes, not moving. What’s going on? Are you sure Sara didn’t tell you anything else?”

Ryan sighed. So much for not bringing it up. “She may have mentioned something, and it’s on my mind and I know we said no secrets but also it’s technically your secret but it might not be your secret because I don’t know if it’s even real or if Sara’s reading into things and - and I’m rambling. Ok.” Ryan took a deep breath, he only had one solid option, and that was to outright ask Shane.

“She thinks you have a crush on me.”

Shane froze, standing still in the same way Ryan had a few moment prior. “She said what now?”

“She said that part of the reason she’s backing away for a bit is to let you figure out anything about whether or not you like me or not. And like, you don’t have to say anything it’s just on my mind.”

Shane stayed silent, a common theme in the past 24 hours, as he contemplated his thoughts. “Ok,” he said simply.

“Ok?”

“Yeah, ok. I honestly don’t know what to think right now, so just, ok.” Shane shrugged, going back into his normal state.

Ryan looked down, face twisted in bewilderment. Ok? That’s it? No ‘Yes Ryan I have a crush on you’ or ‘No Ryan that’s ridiculous’? Just ok?

“Oh stop making that face you were the one that said I could say nothing at all.” Shane scolded, playfully swatting Ryan’s shoulder. “Now get to work, you still have to research that asylum you want us to go to. I’m not going to see some basic ass ghosts without any actual information.”

Shane turned back to his computer, finishing up some editing for other Buzzfeed projects, and maybe some Ruining History if he was lucky.

Ryan shook his head to sober up, he felt drunk on his own thoughts. The uncertainty of Shane liking him felt both confirmed and completely tangled at the same time. Was his silence his way of saying he had actual thoughts and feelings he needed to work out and he actually had a crush on Ryan. Or was it because he was trying to figure out how to make sure Sara knew that he didn’t have a crush on Ryan. Or maybe he was considering Ryan as a potential romantic partner for the first time and he needed to consider it if Sara was giving him the opportunity.

It took all his energy not to just bang his head on the desk right then and there. Why did life have to become so complicated? Ryan’s a simple man, he likes his sports, ghosts (debatable), and hanging out with his friends. That should be easy. Now the only thing that could remain easy was sports.

“At least I have sports,” Ryan muttered to himself.

“What are you talking about?” Shane asked, seeming quite confused by Ryan’s sudden change in conversation.

“I was just thinking about sports,” he replied, not confident enough to actually tell the truth but not scared enough to lie all the way.

Shane laughed and shook his head at Ryan. He didn’t seem at all bothered, simply working the way he usually does.

Ryan stopped himself. There was no way he was going to get anything done if he just kept focusing on Shane. Sure, Sara got into his head a bit, but she could always be wrong and things would just stay normal. It’s rarely the worst case scenario.

Proud of himself for rationalizing the situation, Ryan went back to researching the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum, letting his only worries be whether or not he wanted to call it a “Lunatic Asylum” or just “Asylum”.