#at least one scene about anakin's knighting ceremony

[jewishcissiekj]

just realized just how much fic there is to write until I actually get to the part of the AU I started thinking about...

[agirlunderarock]

Jedi General

Summary: After the events of Geonosis, Obi-Wan is facing a lot of different changes in his life and is doing his best to not feel overwhelmed.

Pairings: None

Warnings: canon typical references

Read on AO3

A/N: I jus really wanted to write a scene about the first time Obi-Wan had to put on the armor and was told he was going to be a general. I had wanted to get this out before Tales of the Jedi came out but you know that never works out lol. Anyways hop you enjoy!

For once in the thirty-five years Obi-Wan had lived in the jedi temple, the Coruscant traffic wasn’t the loudest thing in the temple. Within the last few days the temple had been buzzing with the news from Geonosis. Fallen jedi were brought in and prepared to be laid to rest each day. He wondered how much of his fallen family  had to stay behind in  the red dust  of the desert  planet. He hoped  he wouldn’t be attending more funerals for fallen jedi soon. The silence that engulfed each ceremony felt too heavy and brought with it memories of the first one  he had attended ten years ago. 

Obi-Wan looked down at the duraplast armor set neatly at the foot of his bed. He himself had set it there only a few moments ago, but it felt as if he had been staring at it for ages. If he were honest, it had felt rather flimsy, not nearly thick enough to really stop a blaster bolt from burning a hole in his chest, much less a lightsaber. After all thats what the armor was for, right? Wearing the flimsy armor made about as much sense to him as being at the center of the Republic’s civil war. 

It had only been a few days since the fighting broke out on Geonosis, a good portion of it he had actually missed after his spectacular failure to capture Count Dooku, and yet Obi-Wan felt the weight and the loss fall heavy on his shoulders. He sat on the edge of his bed and rubbed his hands over his face, still trying to process what had exactly led him to this moment. Of course he could recall the sequence of events that led to him fighting for his life in an arena for the amusement of hundreds, possibly thousands, of Geonocians, but his mind struggled to make the jump from Jedi Knight to now Jedi General.

General.

Just the thought of the words made his stomach churn. He could tell himself that it was just because had probably spent just a little too long in a bacta tank after his duel with Dooku, that the motion of the liquid had given him some kind of vertigo, but he knew better.

He stood up abruptly, and paced over to his window, as if just being near it would somehow let him breathe better. His stomach churned, his throat closed up, and the weight of an army sat on his shoulders. His lightsaber felt heavy on his hip, and it slowly dragged him down to sit on the floor. 

This was ridiculous.

It was just a few pieces of duraplast. A flexible material. Anakin had said it was fairly light and easy to move in. Realistically, it wouldn’t be protecting a whole lot of his more…delicate areas, but none of the other jedi he had spoken to seemed overly concerned about it. At least not openly. He should be able to move and fight in it just fine. Maybe that was the problem. Not so much that the armor would stop him, Obi-Wan was sure that if he put on the chest piece it would fit just fine and wouldn’t hinder his movement. Maybe it was more that no one else seemed so concerned about it, at least not in a way that made sense to him. Jedi were peace keepers. They were meant to defend innocent people from the horrors of the galaxy.

Peace keepers? Do you keep all the peace for yourself?

The memory of the woman’s accusation twisted painfully in his chest. She had made that comment before she had gotten to know him or Anakin, and truthfully it had been made just to distract him at the time, but now he felt the weight of that question pounding painfully in the back of his skull. Or maybe it was just the lack of sleep catching up to him. He took a deep breath and sat up a little straighter, crossed his legs and let out his breath slowly. Maybe that question was the place to start.

Peace Keeper.

What did that mean? When Obi-Wan had been a young initiate he had painted this picture of himself as a jedi sweeping into dangerous and daring situations and single handedly saving the day. There were clear lines between good and evil, and he always understood which side was which. A solution was just a smart quip away. If he were honest, he was glad that he realized the world wasn’t that simple. As a padawan training under Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan had experienced many planets and met different people toiling under different kinds of conflicts. He thought of his adventure on Lenarah, and later Pijal. 

Lenarah had been a lesson for him about learning balance and being adaptable. He couldn’t bring his friends peace until he dealt with his own fears. Pijal was a reminder to him and Qui-Gon that things aren't always as they appeared. He supposed that was a lesson worth learning several times, the most recent coming from the woman on Zolan. On both Pijal and Zolan, Republic indifference had been contributing to the problem on both planets. As far as he knew on Zolan, it was still an issue. Being a peace keeper didn’t necessarily mean upholding every ruling the republic had, sometimes it meant stepping in where the Republic had failed.

Jedi

Ten years ago Obi-Wan had thought he fully understood what it meant to be a jedi. That he had been ready for the trials and whatever new challenges he would face as a new jedi knight. Ten years ago, Obi-Wan also thought he would have had more time with Qui-Gon Jinn. That he would have had his guidance when things became overwhelming. To say that he had felt overwhelmed was an understatement. Even now- 

No. He couldn’t give in to that spiral.

Being a Jedi came with its own set of challenges, many of which he did not choose for himself, and others he had quite forgotten if he chose them or if they were thrust on him. Training Anakin fell into that line of thought most days. Even now as he had seen Anakin through to his knighthood, and despite feeling immensely proud of his young friend, it pained him to know that he couldn’t say if training him was a choice he would have made himself if Qui-Gon hadn’t died. 

Obi-Wan took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

It was easy to say now that he knew how it ended, Obi-Wan would go back and make that choice for himself. That he would train Anakin, or at the very least help with his training had Qui-Gon still been alive. Saying that now was the easy part, but if only because he was still trying to wrap his mind around everything he learned while teaching Anakin and was still learning from him. That was something Obi-Wan really never noticed as an initiate or a padawan, that a jedi was always learning and teaching. Yes, being a Jedi Knight meant that he was a protector, and defended innocent life, sometimes in daring rescue attempts, but he was not without compassion or empathy. His lightsaber was rarely the first tool he reached for. His greatest ability as Jedi, and from what he had seen of the other masters, was their compassion, and sense of duty to serve the Galaxy, not just the Republic. Being a Jedi Knight meant that he was constantly trying to live out the lessons that he learned, let go and grow from the things that troubled him.

Accepting change was likely the hardest lesson Obi-Wan had to learn, and one he was still attempting to master. He lived in a constant state of motion. If he chose to continue to meditate on this issue for another hour or two, it would do nothing to change the inevitable fact that he was being tossed into a war, or that he was now to be a Jedi Master on the council, or that Anakin was no longer his padawan. That change would still be there when he opened his eyes. He had to accept that. He had to accept that he would now be a Jedi General.

Sometimes upsetting the ‘balance’ is the only thing that can bring peace. Living quietly under an unjust status doesn’t mean a planet is at peace.

Though the memory was an abrupt intrusion to his mediation, and at the time when the words were spoken to him he was very upset with the woman, Obi-Wan leaned into that thought. It was an interesting idea she had proposed. Breaking peace to bring peace. Upsetting the balance to bring equality was surely a baffling contradiction that made as much sense as Jedi General. At the time he hadn’t been sure it was something he agreed with, but after experiencing and reflecting on many of the conflicts he came into he felt there was some truth to it.

He had to wonder if this was the kind of mentality that many of the Sepratist political leaders had. After spending years trying to have their voice heard by the Republic Senate and the Chancellor, they’ve decided to upset the balance of a system they felt was corrupt. It made sense to an extent. Their separation was merely a symptom of a corrupt system. The droid army would then be a precautionary measure, a means to defend themselves. But there was more to it. Planets who had not chosen to leave the Republic were being invaded and occupied by Sepratist forces. That wasn’t defensive. Not in any way that made sense.

“Why didn’t you join him? I would have thought you agreed with everything Count Dooku said,” Obi-Wan had asked the shapeshifter from Zolan as they were chained to the pillars of the Geonocian arena.

“I probably chose wrong huh?” She had laughed, despite the fear in her eyes. “I actually did agree with what he said,” she admitted, “Too much of it actually. It was like he was getting in my head and saying exactly what he thought I wanted to hear. I don’t know if he’s being truthful or not. But you didn’t trust him, and I trust you. I trust your judgment. ”

Someone he had once thought was an enemy, gave up the chance to take everything she wanted for her planet. He felt the corners of his mouth twitch upward as he leaned more into the memory. It was easy to recall their talk in the infirmary. She had made it clear, it wasn’t just because he didn’t trust Dooku that made her take her chances in the arena, that made her give up what even to him, sounded like an easy way to help her people, but because Obi-Wan had taken a chance to trust her and took the time to understand what was happening on her planet. That he understood exactly how she wanted to help her people, and that if the Republic had people like him and Anakin serving it, then it couldn’t be beyond hope.

Perhaps that was why the Chancellor proposed the Jedi lead the Republic armies. Not for any strategic military purpose where being trained over the course of a lifetime to not let emotional responses guide ones actions would be extremely beneficial. Perhaps it was as simple as this was an opportunity for them to teach the Republic, and learn from their mistakes. When the battles ended what would become of the innocent people caught in the crossfire was important. The best people to decide how they wanted to be governed would be the people of those planets. Though the jedi would be military leaders, they could also be mediators, repair the broken trust between these planets and the republic. It happened before, this civil war might just be the result of things being unresolved for so long. 

Perhaps that was a bit arrogant to think that the jedi could do all of that. That they should be accepting that responsibility, but they weren’t doing it alone right? There was a place for the jedi to work alongside the troops, but also individual planets, they could still be mediators in this war right? He had to believe that. It would be foolish to think that would be how things would stay, the galaxy was in a constant state of motion, but it mattered how he adapted to it. He just had to be mindful when making those decisions as they came.

Obi-Wan slowly opened his eyes and took another deep breath, his eyes focused on the point where his wall and ceiling met above his bed. The weight of these new responsibilities didn’t feel any lighter, but he felt that he could at least face them now. He could tread water for a little longer before feeling overwhelmed again. He lowered his gaze back onto the duraplast armor sitting neatly on his bed. The sunlight streaming in through the window behind him reflected off the white chest piece, as if shining the light on the final solution to the fog still lingering in his mind. 

Another deep breath in and out, and Obi-Wan was back on his feet and holding the armor in his hands. He still did not like the uncertainty that came with the title General, and Jedi General still felt like the biggest contradiction he had ever come across, but this was what the galaxy was calling him to be Jedi, and a General.

Slowly Obi-Wan unclasped each piece of duraplast, checking each piece for flaws or damage before putting it over his robes. He quickly found that not all of it would fit with his normal jedi attire, nor would his boots be as sturdy- For as long as he had been staring at the armor set, he was only just realizing that he had been provided with new boots, and fitted black pants and a matching shirt. He supposed that was supposed to fit under the armor. Before putting anything on, or taking anything off, Obi-Wan laid each piece opened up and laid out for him to look over. There was a lot more than he had realized.

First he put on the undersuit. It hugged his body more firmly than he cared for. He imagined it would be easy to suffer heat exhaustion in such clothing. He would need to make sure the men in his command always had water. Next came his boots. White durables was layered over sturdy but flexible leather and he found that he didn't fully dispise the way they fit him. They didn't seem to breathe as well as his jedi issued ones, but he supposed he would get used to that, as well as the weight. The smaller pieces that made up armor along his arm. He would definitely need to learn to tune out the odd plastic scraping sounds. It was much more the same when he put on the pieces around his legs, and thighs, the chest piece, something he could only assume was to protect his neck and collar bone and sat awkwardly underneath the shoulder pads.

Even as he looked at himself in the small mirror above his sink, Obi-Wan couldn’t be sure he had it all on correctly. It felt awkward to move. Pieces rubbed awkwardly against different parts of his body. He reached for his lightsaber, practicing the movement as if that would help. But he didn't feel like himself. He guessed that was part of the point. He wasn't just a jedi knight anymore, he was a general and everyone expected a general to look a certain way. He supposed that with the complete armor on, all traces of his jedi training hidden under it or only present in his lightsaber, he did look like a military General. Someone who could be on the front lines with their men charging through enemy forces.

Obi-Wan internally cringed at the thought. His younger self would have been delighted with that thought. Only his long hair brushing his shoulders seemed to break that image. He found that satisfying. A small piece of himself still poking out through the armor. Obi-Wan continued to study his image a moment longer. He was sure that if Anakin had walked in at that moment he surely would have poked fun, but this wasn't for the sake of vanity.

It felt wrong. Of course it would probably always feel wrong, but this was something outside his frustration with the contradiction of Jedi General. Or maybe it wasn't. He definitely looked like a general, but not a jedi. He decided to remove some of the bulkier pieces, the chest piece, the parts on his thighs poked into his hips, and he slid part of robes back under his shoulder pieces. The only thing missing was his belt. 

He took a deep breath once he had it on and looked back to the mirror. Of course his chest and other more fragile bits were more exposed to blaster fire now, but he at least seemed recognizable as a jedi. The parts of his robe made him feel like he would stand out more. Maybe that would be detrimental when on the battlefield, but if he was going to die in this war, and he likely was, he wanted the first thing for anyone to notice about him was that he was a jedi. No matter the circumstance, whether in the heat of battle or delivering relief aid, he wanted to be known as a jedi first above any other title he might have.

[gffa]

JEDI PADAWANS IN CANON:  Surprisingly, we actually have very little about how the Jedi culture works in canon, though, we have the broad strokes of it, enough that I think you can get an idea of the general arc of things!  This post will be based on canon, of course, as Canon and Legends are basically separate continuities, so stuff like “the Jedi age out at 13 if no one picks them as a Master” has never been evidenced in canon. I also have TAKING A CLOSER LOOK AT THE JEDI IN CANON, a meta work on AO3 that’s been about collecting together and organizing everything I can find on the Jedi of canon, but let’s talk specifically about the path to becoming a Jedi Padawan! THE PATH OF A YOUNGLING TO A JEDI: YOUNGLING/INITIATE: - The Jedi younglings are adopted generally in the age range of about three years old, give or take.  It’s evidenced by Wee Dunn (the little Rodian boy that Cad Bane kidnapped) that there’s an adjustment period with the biological family (if the family wishes it), given that his bio-mom says, “Master Ropal said the day would come for him to go to the Temple, but not for some time.” - The terms “Youngling” and “Initiate” seem relatively interchangeable? - In Dooku: Jedi Lost, Dooku says:  “Like most of the Order, I was brought to the Temple by a Seeker, a Jedi who was tasked to scour the galaxy for Force-sensitive infants.” -  “On arrival at the Temple, Initiates are sorted into clans, an arbitrary grouping in many ways, but one that is supposed to foster an atmosphere of trust and kinship.“  This seems to work pretty well, indicated by how even the very serious Dooku is like, “[....] by us and every other Initiate that likes to gossip by the light of a glow lantern late at night.” to show the lighter hearted aspects of the pile of younglings gossping at night. (Dooku: Jedi Lost) - Not a ton is known about their time in the creche (which is indeed called the creche, according to M&A -- “[Qui-Gon]’d spent his last night in the younglings’ crèche laughing with his friends, imagining all the adventures he would have, and practicing with his lightsaber in the sparring room until Master Yaddle ordered him to bed.“) or what that means to their Jedi Path, other than that, at some point, they go on The Gathering to get their kyber crystal from Ilum, if they can pass the test of looking inward, facing their fears, and hearing the song of the crystal meant specifically for them. This sacred ritual doesn’t seem to be tied to doing it with their Master, as The Clone Wars and the Age of the Republic comic show that they go in groups and are supervised by another Jedi (Ahsoka in the case of “The Gathering”, with Yoda there on Ilum, Huyang watching over the groups in both TCW and the comic), as well as the group of younglings (Katooni, Petro, Byph, Ganodi, and Gungi) are seen practicing with their lightsabers in Master Sinube’s class while Anakin and Barriss have their fight across the Temple roof. - We see Yoda instructing the younglings in Attack of the Clones, but it’s unclear if they’re using their own lightsabers or training sabers (which the Temple has, according to  Star Wars: Lightsabers - A Guide To Weapons of The Force.  (I’m presuming that they’re training sabers, they look too young to be ready for The Gathering, but canon hasn’t specified either way.) - We do get some broad strokes of the kind of schooling they have while they’re younglings:        - Jedi younglings (at least the diurnal ones) wake at dawn to meditate on the three pillars–the Force, Knowledge, and Self-Discipline.  Then they go to the refectory for lunch, where Dooku always likes to sit next to Sifo-Dyas.        - Qui-Gon says, “Qui-Gon whispered, 'The dark side?' He knew it was a thing all beings carried within them, a part of himself he would learn to guard against—the crèche masters had taught him all that.” (Master & Apprentice) showing that the creche masters also taught them while they were there.        - They have group classes together, where we see teachers giving lessons on how to meditate or other philosophy lessons or how to connect to the Force (this is backed up by a lot of Kanan’s early teachings to Ezra, what he starts with as the foundations/basics), which presumably Padawans can still be part of, given that Qui-Gon still goes to classes after becoming Dooku’s Padawan.  [x]        - They have regular classes and some of what we know are:  Levitation classes, Force-Sculpting classes, Galactic History classes, Jedi History classes, Animal Kinship/Beast Control, and Unarmed Combat.                (”The duties of a Padawan varied greatly. Certain kinds of instruction were universal—meditation, lightsaber training—and were studied both in groups at the Temple and privately with one’s Master. But those Masters ranged widely in talents and temperament, which meant that the assignments they gave were diverse, too.” --Master & Apprentice)       - They have class field trips of some sort--Obi-Wan has a class of younglings (that Caleb is part of) on a field trip to teach them about the Jedi Beacon.  While this seems to be within the Temple itself, we saw in Dooku: Jedi Lost that several younglings went with the Jedi to a Celebration Festival as part of a group who would do demonstrations for people, too.       - They’re given homework (Qui-Gon works on his while lounging in Dooku’s quarters) and have class projects (”Obi-Wan could scan nearly the entire lower level of the Jedi Archives. Jocasta Nu sat at her desk, patiently reviewing some file or other; a handful of younglings struggled through a dense historical holo, probably for a class project”) -- Master & Apprentice. - Whatever Katooni and the others are doing in the beginning of “The Gathering” with the dance-style moves is unclear, whether it’s a class that Master Sinube is teaching or if it’s a ceremony of some kind that relates to the upcoming Gathering, who knows!  But it’s clearly important and overlaid with the announcer saying, “The trials are hard. Tests must be passed. But none is as important as The Gathering. It is then that a Jedi’s path will truly begin….”  (Though, this could be in reference to the trials they’re about to face on Ilum which are hard, rather than that the dance class is a trial, it’s never stated either way.)  [x] PADAWANS: - There doesn’t seem to be anything on how Padawans are chosen as a usual path!  In Dooku: Jedi Lost, there’s a ceremonial lightsaber tournament, but the wording never quite directly says that it’s specifically for Master to choose their Apprentices, as well as in Kanan: The Last Padawan, Depa directly asks young Caleb herself.  In The Clone Wars movie, Anakin is assigned Ahsoka, which doesn’t seem to surprise either Obi-Wan (who may have planned this) or Anakin in the sense of “wait, they don’t just assign Padawans!”, only that she was being assigned to him. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s partnership seems to be a bit of both:  “Don’t you see, Obi-Wan? They knew you’d rebel against any Master you worked with. So they made sure you wound up with a Jedi who almost never followed the rules.”  (Master & Apprentice) This seems to indicate that it happened in a myriad of ways, whether a Master took notice of a youngling at the tournament or bonded with them in another way or the Council decided to assign a pairing. - When a youngling becomes a Padawan, there seems to be some conversations between the crechemasters and the new Master:  “Obi-Wan said, 'You know, I never had problems with that as a youngling. Being independent, I mean. I broke rules right and left. They even called me rebellious. Probably the Masters were surprised anyone was willing to take me on as an apprentice.’  In fact, Qui-Gon had been warned about this very thing. He’d long since assumed that the crèche masters’ concern was overcautious.” (Master and Apprentice) - There’s no set age when a Youngling becomes a Padawan.       - Dooku was 16 years old when Yoda chose him to be a Padawan, Sifo-Dyas was 16 when Lene Kostana chose him.  For a brief while, Dooku didn’t think he would be chosen this year and would have to wait awhile longer, as well as another 16 year old Initiate wasn’t ready and did wind up having to wait another year.  (Dooku: Jedi Lost)       - Obi-Wan was chosen at 13 and Qui-Gon at 12, but both were considered young for it.  (Master & Apprentice)       - Caleb Dume was chosen at 13, but was also considered to be surprisingly young for it.  (Kanan: The Last Padawan)       - Ahsoka was assigned at 14, but Anakin expressed surprise that she was even “old enough to be a Padawan!?” (The Clone Wars movie) - Teaching seems to be a communal thing with the Jedi.  While their Master is the final authority (in as much as anyone is an authority over someone else--Ahsoka argues and doesn’t really get that much pushback on how Master Skywalker isn’t the one who should decide when she risks her life, that’s her choice), we see Ahsoka is taught by Anakin, Obi-Wan, Yoda, Plo Koon, Aayla Secura, Luminara Unduli, Tera Sinube, and Jocasta Nu. In The Citadel arc in TCW, Ahsoka says that Master Plo assigned her to the team, which Anakin doesn’t object to as being impossible because she’s his Padawan.  Further, we also see communal teaching elements in Dooku: Jedi Lost when Lene is a frequent teacher to Dooku after he becomes Yoda’s Padawan. JEDI KNIGHTS: - While we never see any official Knighting ceremonies in the time of the Jedi Order, there are two examples post-Jedi Purge that use similar enough rituals that it’s a reasonably safe bet they were used by the Order as well:       - In Rebels “Shroud of Darkness”, when Kanan and Ezra and Ahsoka enter the Lothal Jedi Temple, he has to face a vision of the Grand Inquisitor revealing that he was once a Temple Guard.  In facing him, Kanan passes the test, which was Yoda directing the vision (via behind the scenes commentary by Henry Gilroy) to give Kanan a trial, which he then uses the vision to gently sweep the lightsaber over Kanan and has the vision say, “By the right of the Council, by the will of the Force, Kanan Jarrus, you may rise. [....]  It means you are what I once was. A Knight of the Jedi Order.” [x]       - In Jedi: Fallen Order, Cere Junda (once a Jedi Knight herself) tells Cal to kneel and makes the same gesture, sweeping the lightsaber over him, and says:  "By the right of the Council, by the will of the Force, Cal Kestis.  Rise, Jedi Knight." [x] THAT’S IT, THAT’S PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING WE KNOW ABOUT THE JEDI PADAWAN PATH.  There’s really no one set way of doing things--“Every master trains their Padawan in their own way.“ (Jedi: Fallen Order)--but you can see the shape of how things are approached within the Jedi Culture!