#austistic sniper

[honkshoo-zzz]

mm oddly specific tf2 headcanons in no particular order based around a fic i’m writing (some NSFW, so be warned, and some courtesy of @officialbananabro and our joint brainrot):

• sniper is an insomniac due to trauma-induced OCD. he has to check all windows and doors before going to sleep, and even then often ends up just keeping surveillance out the window all night because he can’t sleep

• scout runs for fun: helps get rid of excess energy and has just been doing it forever so he’ll jog around base if it gets particularly slow work-wise.

• scout is a comic-book enjoyer. what comics he likes are up to individual discretion, as i don’t know enough about em to pick em

• spy is a SLUT who is afraid of commitment (hence running from scout’s mom when he. made scout, and probably fucking a couple of the other mercs)

• sniper has a mullet. i don’t CARE what the official art says. THAT MAN HAS BUSINESS IN THE FRONT AND A PARTY IN THE BACK

• spy is a bottom fuck you

• sniper is NOT into piss but WILL make jokes about it and WILL NOT DENY IT when it’s brought up

• soldier cannot comprehend that two mercs would be fucking until it’s literally spelled out for him. he’s not homophobic he’s just a lil slow

• medic and heavy have been happily married for (probably) decades

• medic knows ALL of the hot-goss around base. he knows who’s fuckin who, and who knows about it, and who is SUPPOSED TO know about it. and he relays all of this information to heavy during brunch cause he thinks it’s funny

• sniper and medic are autistic, scout has adhd, soldier and demo have PTSD, and somehow spy is perfectly mentally healthy besides having mommy AND daddy issues (probably)

• engie is smart enough to determine who’s hiding relationships around base, but is polite and minds his business

• basically everyone knows sniper is fucking spy, and when he starts bonin’ scout, EXCEPT for soldier. and when sniper and scout announce their relationship soldier’s the only one to be like “WOW CONGRATULATIONS BOYS WHO WOULDA THUNK” but everyone else is unfazed

• medic is a HUGE masochist and likes heavy *literally* throwing him around the room during sex. like homelander-stormfront chucking-through-the-wall type shit. heavy’s not as into it but it makes medic happy so he does it

• spy also enjoys getting his hair pulled, but won’t take the mask off during sex so his partner has to do it from under the mask/use the mask instead (without pulling it off)

• scout and miss pauling, after scout confesses and miss pauling rejects him due to being lesbian (among other reasons, but that’s the biggest one), they become gay besties and scout goes to her for advice on sniper n they gossip n such

• however miss pauling being miss pauling already knows pretty much everything before scout gets to her so she’ll just. give the advice before he can even ask it. example:

s: “hey, miss pauling, can I ask you sum’?”

mp: “i can’t help you nor sniper with sniper’s ocd-induced insomnia, that’s something he needs to work on himself before i, let alone you, go butting into it. give him time, and be patient, and he’ll come to you when he’s ready.”

s:

s, stars in his eyes: “wow you’re good”

• also pyro, of course, knows everything but is too busy hosting tea parties and setting her guests on fire to do anything about it. shorty is living his best, aro-ace life, unproblematic and slaying.

ok i think that’s it for now. feel free to add i think these guys are silly and need as much content as possible thank you uwu