#autisticconfession

[jere-jones]

One of the greatest insights I’ve gained through secular meditation is the idea that loneliness is, like all other emotions, an important part of the human experience. My brain functions differently than most people and this often causes feelings of loneliness that I mask. When feeling this way, there are two thoughts that help me embrace those feelings, give them space and time to exist, and then allow them to dissipate. Those two thoughts are: 1) there are wonderful allies for not only neurodivergent minds, but for all those who find themselves feeling ostracized, marginalized, or simply out-of-place and 2) all humans experience loneliness. For #1, I am grateful for my closest allies @outtajen, my children, and many others who express their compassion and understanding. For #2, I recall that even at this very moment there are millions upon millions of people feeling lonely; and with that understanding comes the realization that we aren’t truly alone - just apart. . #autism #actuallyautistic #aspergers #aspiesofinstagram #neurodiverse #aspie #asd #aspieconfession #autismawareness #autisticconfession (at St. George, Utah) https://www.instagram.com/p/CDuIQvsFHLR/?igshid=v64dyg5hqicr

[jere-jones]

It is the tail-end of #pride month and I want to express my love and support for the LGBT+ communities. Learning more about my autism diagnosis has led me to better understand how and why I view the world differently than “normal.” Sexuality and gender identity is a particularly interesting area that has never felt “black and white” to me. There is an ever-growing body of research that indicates a greater diversity in sexuality and gender identity among autistic minds than neurotypical minds. In other words, while such diversity is found universally among our species, it is more common for neurodivergent minds to think beyond the heterosexual/gender-binary concepts currently dictated by some societies. Perhaps it comes back to the idea that the autistic mind tends to think non-linearly, but for me, it just makes sense that human sexuality is a beautifully diverse, dynamic, and fluid thing. To my autistic and non-autistic LGBT+ family, friends, and would-be friends, I offer my understanding, compassion, love, support and sincerest appreciation; thank you for being true to yourself. #pride #pridemonth #autism #actuallyautistic #aspergers #aspiesofinstagram #neurodiverse #aspie #asd #aspieconfession #autismawareness #autisticconfession (at St. George, Utah) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCAgenQlb1g/?igshid=sayn9ahto3pp

[jere-jones]

A problem expressed frequently within the autistic community is the difficulty we have producing recognizable facial expressions. Commonly, I might think I am smiling, but that isn’t actually reflected in my face. If you have heard the term “RBF” (Resting *** Face), it’s like that, but worse! This would be SBF: Smiling *** Face. “Why are you angry?”… “I’m not! I’m smiling!” 🙋🏼‍♂️guilty, as charged. . #autism #actuallyautistic #aspergers #aspiesofinstagram #neurodiverse #aspie #asd #aspieconfession #autismawareness #autisticconfession . (at St. George, Utah) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBy6MhSFCom/?igshid=1n5e80pfi7o2n

[jere-jones]

I am often called a “know-it-all” because I sometimes reply with terse comments like: “that doesn’t make sense,” “that seems wrong,” “I disagree,” or simply, “Not accurate.” The problem with labeling this as “know-it-all” is that it discounts the more frequent times I respond with things like: “I don’t know,” “I have no idea,” “that’s a great question, I know hardly anything about that,” “that’s really interesting,” or simply, “fascinating.” It also ignores the fact that, when convinced I was wrong, I have no problem responding with: “Oh, you’re right,” “that makes sense,” “I had no idea,” “I’ve never thought of that before”, or simply “I was wrong.” You see, all of this is an interesting display of the autistic mind. Without some of the social-induced mental filters that neurotypical minds have aplenty, the neurodivergent mind may respond with raw, logical thinking. In a disagreement, this may come across as abrupt, demeaning, or dismissive; in reality, it’s a reflection of our fast-paced, logical thought process contrasted against the deficiencies in social processing. When, we are suddenly convinced or realize we were wrong and respond accordingly, our 180-degree shift is often viewed as a mind-game, manipulation, or thoughtless surrender; in reality, we are sincerely capitulating to the truth. An innate hunger for truth is so much of what drives the autistic mind; and discovering more truth is exciting! It is common among us autistics to be naturally skeptical; that is because we are naturally curious about this wondrous life we are a part of. This curiosity-based skepticism is often not communicated in the most neurotypically-socially-acceptable manner; but if we can be more accepting of these differences in communication, I believe we can more fully share in the curiosities and wonders presented by this marvelous journey of life. #autism #actuallyautistic #aspergers #aspiesofinstagram #neurodiverse #aspie #asd #aspieconfession #autismawareness #autisticconfession (at St. George, Utah) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBof_9UF1uj/?igshid=utarhu9z4q3i

[jere-jones]

Remembering names can be hard for anybody; autistic people can be particularly challenged here. Meeting a new person is like clamping a firehouse of information onto one’s head and hoping a few important details make it in. You see, when meeting a new person, the autistic mind is analyzing all sorts of details in an effort to comprehend social queues - details the neurotypical brain processes instinctively…. How high are her eyebrows raised? What does that mean? Are her lips in a smiling position? Do the wrinkles around the eyes match the smile, or is she pretending to smile? Where are her hands? Is she reaching out to shake hands? Why isn’t she reaching out? I hate shaking hands, should I reach out? Please don’t hug me. Oh good, no hug or handshake. Why is she wearing a formal, button-up blouse? That seems uncomfortable; is she just coming from a special event? Should I ask about that? No, don’t ask about clothes, that’s probably weird. Is her vocal pitch unusually high or low? How much is she fluctuating the tempo of her speech? Are there signs of anger, frustration, shyness, happiness, discomfort…? Oh shoot, how long have I been staring at her blouse!? She probably thinks I was staring at her chest... look away… She’s asking something… check the lips and cheeks for level of facial dynamics and emotional queues. Crud, now how long have I been staring at her mouth? Eye contact… eye contact… not too much eye contact… casually look away…. Now she’s silent… did she ask me a question? Checking memory buffer… And all of that can happen in just the first 10 seconds of meeting a new person. So really, it’s no wonder that we often miss what was being said or struggle with small-talk. “I’m sorry, what was your name again?” 😂 #autism #actuallyautistic #aspergers #aspiesofinstagram #neurodiverse #aspie #asd #aspieconfession #autismawareness #autisticconfession (at St. George, Utah) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBg6VYelOoO/?igshid=1ini58i2usut8

[jere-jones]

One of the most challenging things with autism is having an acute awareness of being socially awkward but only a mild recognition of when. In other words, I know I am awkward, but not when I am being awkward. The syntactical difference is subtle, but with life-altering ramifications. It’s like constantly knowing that a rock is hanging by a string over your head, but you never have the benefit of seeing it coming; only the pain after it falls. This leads to tremendous anxiety towards future social interactions and obsessive rumination over those of the past. There is a high comorbidity between autism and debilitating mental illnesses such as: anxiety, depression, panic, and agoraphobia. These, and other mental illnesses are not a result of autism, but a result of neurodiverse people trying to survive in a neurotypical environment. Perhaps one of the best ways to help prevent and treat some of these challenges is to increase awareness, acceptance, and understanding. I am a full-supporter of self-help and self-improvement; I also feel there is much that can be done in the surrounding environment to make the process easier and immediately alleviate some suffering. Yes, I can try to become more immune to the pain of the rock hitting my head, I can try to improve my reflexes, I can try wearing a heavy/uncomfortable helmet all of the time… or, people can just stop hanging rocks over my head 🤔😆💛 #autism #actuallyautistic #aspergers #aspiesofinstagram #neurodiverse #aspie #asd #aspieconfession #autismawareness #autisticconfession (at St. George, Utah) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBbV-MGljIS/?igshid=1jry4fr0mapug