#awgugh i am miserable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kazpurr · 2 years

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do you guys ever get those thoughts where you think really really hard about someone you dont like (in this case, my moms bf) and just start seething with rage and in ur mind ur like "i hope you die i hope something bad happens to you i hope all these horrible things happen to you and i hope mom breaks up with you" . but then you start thinking about it and u start worrying like oh what if he does die but its while he's driving somewhere with my mom and they both end up dying and its my fault because i hoped he died and got injured. do you get what im saying or am i just fucked up and insane

#its like when i see those posts that are like reblog or else you'll have bad luck and i scroll past it going 'psh yeah this wont affect me'#and then i start overthinking it and i get all paranoid like oh what if i DIE what if SOMEONE BREAKS IN WHILE IM SLEEPING #all because i didnt REBLOG THAT FUCKING TUMBLR POST !!!!! and now i have BAD LUCK and EVERYONE I LOVE is GONNA DIE BC OF ME #awgugh i am miserable #sorry its like 3:43 in htge morning i really should be asleep but i cant #im just sitting onmy bed . in the dark. in silence. just. thinking #my brain never ever shuts up once i have a thought in my head it just keeps going around and around and around and over and over aagain #imgb so . tired always #i wish i could turn my brain off when it gets like this . but i cant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i lay down . in silence. and i try to sleep. and i cannot #so i turn on youtube n just listen to a video to at least fill my thoughts with whatever im watching #it doesnt work and suddenly ive watched 2+ hours worth of videos that i compledely zoned out to because THINKING #i dgont want my brain . to Think anymore. shut it up shut it up! !!!!!!!!!!

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