#b.a.p jongup scnarios

[coffee-for-himchan]

Dating Moon Jongup

Dating B.A.P series:

Yongguk // Himchan // Daehyun // Youngjae // Jongup // Zelo

How did he do this

That’s what he asks himself about literally anything regarding this relationship, because apparently, you find anything he does cute

Or maybe interesting, cool, attractive and so many more things, you get the point. All he does is simply amazing

But he literally doesn’t do anything to try to come off that way

He’ll just be casually munching on cereal in the morning and boom

He squints at the door once he hears footsteps, and you’re there

All mesmerized by his bedhead and his furrowed brows and clueless expression at why you’re smiling at him like that

Mesmerized by how he just stares back at you with his spoon lifted halfways to his open mouth, and doesn’t move a muscle until you do

Mesmerized by the way he had somehow seated himself legs-crossed on the kitchen chair and hasn’t fallen off from there yet because his coordination in the mornings is quite..

Non-existent

But you love it, and though he cannot explain why, he does not object

Your love is something more comfortable than all his overly huge jackets and sweatpants, and he wears in on his sleeve every time he can

No one knows how the hell you two even work out

But somehow you do

He does not know how texting works

He’s so bad at it, he’s literally apologized about it in the past

It’s not like he doesn’t care to text you back, or to respond to whatever you have to say to him

It’s just that ugh

Typing

So half the time you don’t even know where he is or what he’s up to

But that’s not a bad thing at all, as sometimes your door opens randomly and a mes dressed in three large jackets, a yellow shirt poking out from underneath, camouflage joggers and fancy sneakers steps inside

Carrying takeout

Eyes tired but his lovely stare lookin’ yummy like chocolate

God, you love him

It’s worse when you’re doing something and don’t hear him coming in, because oh shit he can be scary

He’s so quiet you don’t hear him coming in

Intentionally or unintentionally, it always scares you when you just turn around in the kitchen or something and see him quietly standing in the doorway, observing you like it’s completely normal to just silently stand and stare

“Jongup-ah goddamn it! Don’t scare me like that ever again!”

“I’m not scaring you, I’m just standing here-”

“Stand louder next time around, okay!?”

It amuses him and he chuckles, but he agrees

and never does what he agrees to though

But not because he’s got bad intentions or anything, he simply forgets

And you kinda forget to scold him about it

Okay, you don’t forget, but you just can’t bring yourself to do it

How can you even say anything at least moderately mean to him?

Himchan has warned you about this immunity Jongup has to troubles and punishments, but you did not listen to him back then

“He’ll destroy half the house, and you still won’t be able to scold him because of the way he’ll look at you all sorry and sweet.”

Now you realize you have been trapped, but back then you did not believe

Years of relationship had proved it though - you in fact cannot stay mad at him for long

His eyes look both innocent and guilty whenever he does stuff that he shouldn’t have done

And the way he apologizes is just oh gosh

It’s multiple sorries said in a sweet, quiet and apologetic voice while his arms snatch around you from behind and you can do nothing but curse

He is so comfortable

So warm

He sounds genuine when he says he did not mean to cause trouble

And the way he slurs his speech when he does a recap on what he’s guilty for, the way it clears up for the actual apologies

How can you be mad at him after all of that

He can get away with a lot of stuff because of this

Not that you mind

It’s a well-known fact that Jongup does not get angry

At least no one’s seen him doing it so far

You haven’t seen it either

Moon Moon is a sweetie programmed to be without angry emotion

It’s hard to get him to laugh really audibly either

But when he does he’s wheezing

His face is all scrunched up and he’s holding his stomach while his legs give up and he stumbles, almost falling over

It’s a rare but mesmerizing sight

You try to provoke it as often as possible and the more you try the more you succeed

When he’s with you, he does not give a damn about other things

It’s sweet, really, because sometimes his phone will be going off all the time, and you’ll fear he’ll abandon you at any given moment to take care of something important

Instead, he silences it

His reasoning is that he’s spending time with you now and everything else doesn’t quite matter. He’ll get to in once he has some actual time for it

Well, if that isn’t sweet

Sometimes it gets him into trouble, but he don’t care

Your time together is important to him and he treasures it

His humor is.. Funny

To him only

Honestly, you did not get a single one of his jokes in the past

He did look adorable saying those things and amusing himself by them, and that’s what used to bring a smile and maybe even chuckles to your face as well

Now you actually understand them

The one time you laughed at a joke he said while hanging out with the other guys, Youngjae asked you what’s wrong with you when you tried to reassure him that it was actually funny

You were the two giggling weirdos surrounded by five other horrified faces, but it did no matter

There was absolutely nothing wrong with the situation, you just had spent enough time in Jongup’s company to know how he ticks and works by now. And to understand his jokes

Also, it’s funny to freak out Youngjae, so you’re glad that happened

He likes cocooning up in dozens of blankets and watching anime with you

It’s not done too often, but sometimes he’ll just come by and demand to watch the whole first season of Naruto or something with you and you’re just like

“Jong, you have a show tomorrow evening and it’s midnight already”

“So? I can sleep tomorrow morning”

He’s convinced you with only mere words said, and he will not get mad if you fall asleep mid-marathon either. He’s probably going to watch a few more episodes himself, but will re-watch them together with you the next day if you insist on it

So, Moonie

A literal angel

more like a sinner and betrayer

But a cute one

If you’re ever competing against each other in any type of challenge and game, don’t expect to be lovingly spared any troublesome outcomes

He’s snake #2 and the doesn’t want to give up on that title just yet

Though he would never betray you really - it’s just for fun and laughs. Plus, he’ll make sure you’re on good terms again afterwards and ugh, who can stay mad at him anyways

Talking about the sinner part, oh boy where should I start

So he can go from “can we drink hot chocolate?” to “I need your body on me” in the spawn of about 0.25 seconds

Literally, there’s no need for a reason

You were just in the kitchen making hot chocolate and boom that spot on your neck looks good for a mark let’s leave one there

This makes him a bit unpredictable, but he’s always sweet, understands when you tell him off and knows his boundaries exactly

And in any form or way, Jongup often does not need a reason to do things. He just does them because he feels like he can, and that does indeed lead to many surprised you did not anticipate in the least, yet do not object against at all

So yeah.. That’s about it

He’s lost 2.0 all the time

But not just regularly lost, more like

Lost in your heart and the love you give him

Don’t let him outta there, or he’ll wander off and get lost on his own

And he’d much prefer to stay, because he loves you just as much

[coffee-for-himchan]

for the drabbles: 9 + 48 + jongup please! 😺

I really like this one! Thank you for your request~~❤

-Mel 💕

9. “We just officially became a cringy, clingy couple, but for some reason I don’t even mind.”

48. “Kiss me while they’re looking.”

You kind of wanted to leave as soon as possible, but one major thing was preventing you from doing so, that thing being your boyfriend’s tight grip on your hand.

Sometimes you wondered what was going in inside his head and why at times he cared less about things that he maybe should feel wary about. Why he didn’t seem to care about the fact you were out in public now, sitting at a nice little bubble tea place, and he clung on your hand full-force even though you were pretty much aware quite a few curious stares had recognized him by now, and weren’t able to direct themselves away as they saw he wasn’t alone. The last few comebacks had really given a blast to his already uprisen fame, haven’t they?

“Jongup-ah,” you told him quietly, seeing as his eyes locked with yours the second he heard his name, “Not to say anything, but.. Shouldn’t we leave or something?”

“Why though?” his brows furrowed, creating a mild crease in between them, and he looked as innocent and clueless on the situation as ever, “I thought you told me you liked this place a lot.”

“I do, it’s really nice here,” you glanced around, feeling the stares piercing through your back, knowing they were inevitably there, “It’s just that I guess we’re attracting a lot of attention. Well.. I am at least. And that’s probably bad for you.”

It’s been half a year of hiding. Half a year of quiet dates, most of which consisted of going to crash his or your place and nowhere else. Half a year of strolling through the quieter streets with him hand-in-hand, only to look up and see his pretty face hidden underneath a mouth mask and a hat, on busier days - maybe even his glasses when he didn’t feel too lazy to put them on or the hood of his hoodie in case he wore one. You loved this little silent personal space you’d built yourselves over the time you had been dating, but.. Normal things were considered normal because they were the most suitable after all, right? Which is why hiding from the public wasn’t always a normal thing to do - it gave privacy, but cut off so many great opportunities. Which is why you kind of wanted to lead a normal relationship, without all the hiding. And he wanted it too.

“Hey, eyes on me,” you heard him saying, and turned to face him hesitantly. He looked as if he was contemplating something, and you wondered what type of thought had crept into his head. Though you weren’t sure you wanted to know.

“In full honesty now - are you ashamed of us? Or is there maybe any other reason you wouldn’t want anyone yo know about our relationship?”

“I mean, not really,” you looked away a little again, not quite used to such an intensity of his stare as it was usually much softer than this, as well as less soul-piercing, “I guess it’s just that we were told to keep it a secret, and-”

“What if we don’t? I could literally care less about that now.”

He sounded so chill about this, like it was the simplest and most natural thing on planet Earth, even though for him it wasn’t supposed to be. And as you did not respond, you saw him leaning over the little table, his hand coming to rest on your cheek as his eyes, just like yours, quickly threw a glance at a few alarmed stares that seemed to watch you two even more intensly now at the evolution of events.

“Kiss me while they’re looking.”

You felt like he’s never spent this long kissing you - maybe it felt like that because he really took his time, maybe because when feeling alarmed and nervous, time uaually seemed to tick a little slower than you wished ir would. Though there was no way back or to revert it now - you even caught a glimpse of a flash or two - and you knew that this was it. You had just posed for countless pictures taken, and by the next morning, there wouldn’t be a single fan who wouldn’t know about this. Not a single fan who was also a social media user, at least.

“You’re officially mine now.”

You chuckled and rolled your eyes at him, seeing his sheepish smile that had crept across his face as he leaned back, and intertwined his fingers with yours again.

“I thought PDA wasn’t your forte.”

“Eh, ain’t gonna hurt me to show some,” he said out casually, chuckling with you and seeing how realization slowly took over you and you bit your lip.

“Having second thought? Or is it something else?”

“We just became a cringy, clingy couple,” you said, your amused chuckle showing that you thought you’d completely failed to make the mature first impression ypi wamted tp have by pulling a stunt like the one just now, “But for some reason, I don’t even mind.”

“You better,” he rose an eyebrow at you while sounding all challenging, making you laugh some more, “I’ve got a lot of cringe and clinge planned for the future.”

“Yeah, sure,” you rolled your eyes at him, yet believed him somehow. After all, he was Jongup, and you could never possibly guess what he’d do next.

Currently, there’s 20+ drabble requests in my inbox, and I believe a few more will come my way, so it’s going to take me a while to finish them all. Until then, thank you for all who requested (since I didn’t think I’d get as many asks as I did) and I would love to finish the requests that I have now before getting new ones. ❤

[coffee-for-himchan]

No Answer (Jongup x reader)

Requested by: @thevisionandthescarletwitch12 (Thanks!! ❤)

Word count: 4.9 k+

Genre/warnings: fluff ❤

Summary: Receiving a mysterious message from an unknown number seemed rather intriguing, but it became even more interesting when Jongup found no time to respond, and later witnessed how the person typing figured the number had no owner, and turned the chat into a personal diary to lighten the burdens of everyday life. He found himself more and more invested into reading those texts, making it a daily thing, and had a hard time not to respond. Why not? Because that would be weird. He’d been quietly reading messages for weeks already, without leaving any answer. And leaving one now seemed inappropriate. He’d missed his chance, and all he could do now was continue reading, or so he thought at first.

He looked down at the phone in his hands, staring in mild confusion to whether he should respond or not.

I found your number accidentally. Who are you? [17:28]

Accidentally? Junhong called for him to come and join practice again, so he threw another insignificant look to the phone and shoved it back into his pocket, hoping it wouldn’t fall out mid-song like the few other times it did after his rapid spins and turns all through the choreo. With lazy yet graceful movements, he was back in formation, and took only another moment to consider the possibilities of how his number ended up in a stranger’s hands before starting practice.

And then suddenly it hit him hard.

“Jongup-ah, what are you doing!?” Himchan crashed into him, and only then he realized he’d stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of a dance break.

“I’m thinking.”

“Can’t you move and think at the same time?!” Junhong, perhaps, called out while chuckling, but Jongup wasn’t sure - he didn’t really catch onto the speaker’s identity. He had realized a significant detail from sometime last week that could stick to the puzzle, and needed a minute to consider how stupid his assumptions were.

“I ain’t a multitasker,” he said, and with that, was gone with the wind, wandering out of the room to lean against the wall of the hallway.

“I found your number accidentally. Who are you?”

He was Moon Jongup, if he wasn’t mistaken. And he was also a guy who was close to blackout drunk last week, stumbling along the streets with a few old friends only he knew, making small, insignificant mistakes along the way and laughing tons meanwhile as well.

It was stupid, actually. But he figured he wasn’t the brghtest in the head anyways.

“Let’s see who’ll find it,” his friend giggled, scrapping a few digits on pieces of paper, and happily letting them sail away in the rather strong wind while standing in a place you could see the whole city from. He recalled being beyond happy and giggly about this idea, supporting it fully with his other two friends in their drunken states.

“Might get yourself a date like that.”

Or trouble, he figured. But he figured too late, as it’s been a week, and he had finally gotten a “lucky” message. He also wondered if any of the other guys did.

“Stop being a weirdo and come back in. Thinking time is over,” Youngjae presented himself well in the same old sarcastic fashion, leaning out of the doorway and trying to get Jongup back in so they could finally be finished for the day. And, understanding he’d better obey and put everyone’s tired minds out of their misery, he joined them again, pouring sweat and panting lightly for another half an hour before finally departing from the rest and going his own way.

Not that the text was of no significance, not at all. Jongup simply had a different mindset, and was someone to forget things easily. And half an hour of dancing was enough for him to forget completely about all that had happened, and also forget to answer. Hell, he didn’t even care to respond to his hyung’s messages sometimes, so this was simply something he wasn’t that good at. Texting.

He only recalled it when it was too late and inappropriate to respond.

“Should I?” he contemplated, sneaking around the dorm’s kitchen and making hot chocolate at 2 AM, clearly knowing sleep wasn’t his priority but a nice, warm chocolatey drink was. Sleep was Himchan and Youngjae’s priority though, and “nagging mom” and “sarcasm ball” weren’t the ones he wanted to disturb from sleeping peacefully. This was his chance to get some nice, peaceful alone time.

“I’m Moon Jongup.” Would that be.. Appropriate?

It probably wouldn’t. He figured he still was an idol, and even though he thought there were slim chances the person texting him could possibly know who he was, he still hesitated. If he’d ask anyone from the company, they’d tell him off immediately. And possibly even call him stupid, telling him to be cautious with whom he gives his number to.

So scrapping the thought, he quietly sneaked back to his room to do some 2 AM internet browsing. It’s not like he had to respond anyways, but curiosity killed him to know who was on the other end of the line. He figured he’d think of something, and eventually would respond. But later.

Later turned out to be never.

He wasn’t of fault for being a busy man with a short memory and attention span. He already got dragged from schedule to schedule by Himchan, basically serving him as an accessory or handbag, because otherwise he wouldn’t remember to come and would wander off to be present somewhere else. If he couldn’t remember all of that, how could he remember about a mysterious text?

Does this number even belong to anyone? [22:34]

When he saw the message though, he recalled. It had been about a week already, and he figured he was still curious. Yet his fingers stopped him from typing when he saw the three animated dots, indicating something more was being typed on the other end, and would soon pop up on the screen.

Well.. I guess it doesn’t. [22:56]

He chuckled. He was just as quick to make assumptions as the person typing, and for some reason, that was intriguing. First thing in common, and it had been three lone texts. This could actually evolve to be interesting.

Today was an awful day, by the way. [22:57]

He leaned back, looking at the stream of messages that followed. One every other minute, being a detailed explanation of a rather bad day. Troubles at work and with studies. Misunderstandings with friends and even family. God, he really found himself feeling sorry for whoever it was that managed to have such an unfortunate day.

But once again, as he wanted to type, he realized he was unable to do it. Wouldn’t that be creepy? Now, after all this whole heartfelt and emotional storytelling, all of a sudden he would say something really out of place. “Hey, this number indeed has an owner”, “Cool story, but quite sad tbh. Are you alright?” - all the potential responses seemed rather dumb to him. The worst one by far being “Hey, so, I was just sitting and reading, but figured I wanted to talk to you actually. I’m Jongup.”

This helps, actually. [23:31]

He heard the swooping sound, and glanced back to the device, tracing his fingers ever so lightly over the screen. What helped? Typing out things that bothered? Maybe, and right as he figured he understood, he got the response.

It’s crazy, but it helps a little. I’ll call you my new, non-existent friend, number without owner. And maybe I’ll message you. [23:33]

He was quite existent, actually, and he was more than curious to how this could unfold. He thought it was interesting, maybe even cute. And a little creepy, but.. Did anyone have to know? Not really. So he convinced himself it was fine, and he let it happen.

“See ya, new friend,” he chuckled with a smile, and put his phone down, wandering out of his room too meet with needy hyungs who had been calling him for a while already. He swore, if he’d hear the phrase “Jongup-ah, bring me my phone! I don’t know where it is though, but find it!” one more time, he’d move out.

It was days and days of simple, diary-like texting, and he once found himself looking back on the stream of messages, figuring it had been weeks already. Maybe even a month, actually. But he didn’t mind. In fact, after an insignificant amount of time had passed, he had gotten used to it, and couldn’t picture his life without an occasional message every here and there anymore. It had become part of the daily routine.

Her name was (Y/N), so much he knew, and she was the sweetest yet most problematic person he’d ever met. Well, “met” only technically. He hadn’t met her in real life, but he still felt like he knew a bunch about her in a.. non-creepy way. This really didn’t feel creepy to him. It just felt strange. Or rather unusual.

Aaand I do not know how to manage now. I’ve got a week left, and still 30 pages to write. Too bad I didn’t start writing earlier. [19:44]

But I’m a stupid mess, so I’m allowed to make mistakes. [19:44]

He chuckled at the familiar sentence, knowing he’d used it on himself thousands of times. But he also knew that when it came to her, she was far from being stupid. Her conversations with this non-existent friend in the form of a phone number she thought belonged to no one, but in reality was his, made her seem like a lovely, kind, but over all intelligent person. And he found himself lying in bed and smiling at his phone like an idiot.

“You’ll do great,” he quietly said to himself, surprised at how truly he wanted her to succeed, “Because you’ve been studying hard for ages. More than I’ve ever studied all together, to be honest.”

And the more time passed, the more he understood how much he truly cared.

He cared every evening he lied in bed and watched the message streams coming by. He traced his fingers over the phone screen, and desperately wanted to respond. He weirdly found himself hurting every time she had a hard time, and simply wanted to go and do something about it. He didn’t even know who she truly was, or how she looked or anything. Yet this diary-type conversation she typed out to no one but herself every evening made him believe he knew enough to find a liking in her. She was funny and her personality was overall cute. She had a heart big enough to fit the whole world into it, and sometimes he imagined he could find a place there as well. He wanted to get to know her actually, because he thought she was interesting. Yet every time he was about to type something, he froze dead in his tracks.

After all this time, it would be weird to respond. And he didn’t want to weird her out or scare her away. He simply wanted to actually meet her and get to know her.

“What are you grinning about?” Youngjae asked one morning, catching Jongup completely off-guard and making him realize how he once again was staring at the phone and chuckling about seemingly nothing.

“Yeah. Something’s been off for a while already,” Himchan called from behind the stove, walking around with two plates in hand a second later and handing one to Youngjae, “You’re never really abandoning your cereal for anything.”

“Spit it out,” Youngjae budged, and when Himchan had made his way around the breakfast bar and sat across the latter two, it felt like it was maybe time to say something. But right as Jongup opened his mouth to talk, Youngjae frantically interrupted. 

“Not the cereal, by the way - don’t spit that out, keep that in your mouth or in the bowl, will ya? I’m talking about the reason you’d been grinning like a madman at mysterious stuff in your phone for weeks.”

“So.. This might sound weird..”

“Like everything else involving you. Nothing new,” Youngjae cheekily remarked, leaning on his hand and choking on his food just a second later because he was too focused on talking and didn’t care to properly chew his food.

“That’s what you get Youngjae-ah for interrupting your friend and challenging the universe,” Himchan remarked, chuckling lightly and turning to face Jongup, “Continue. I’m curious.”

And he told the whole story. About the on-paper phone numbers thrown from a high point in the city, and how he actually received a message after some time. And the weird further events, where the girl on the other end of the line supposed the number belonged to no one, and never stopped typing, gifting him with a diary of her biggest issues and the brightest moments of her life.

“And so you simply keep sitting around and reading everything she types?”

“Yeah, kind of-”

“What a creep,” Youngjae laughed out, making Jongup feel generally ashamed about the whole situation.

“Yeah, I have to admit, it is a little creepy. But at the same time, it’s so absurd, yet.. I don’t know how to say. Somewhat beautiful?”

“In which way, hyung?” Youngjae laughed at Himchan, yet kind of understood his point.

“I don’t know, think about it. He knows so much about her, and she doesn’t even know he exists. Okay, that indeed sounds bad, but let me turn it around. I can imagine it already.”

“A cold winter night,” he extended his arms to both sides, making the youngers laugh at his theatrical, dramatical stare that was directed into the distance, “Don’t laugh, just picture it. A stormy night, and she’s walking home alone. Left to be completely lonely by everyone but the howling, harsh wind-”

“You should do acting, hyung,” Younjae kept laughing, cracking up even more after the casual response of “I know, right?”

“And he emerges from the shadows - our Jongup-ah. The hero of the night, who approaches and lovingly tells her all. ”(Y/N), come with me, and everything will be alright,“ he will say, and she won’t have time to question, because in her pain and despair, he will be her only light. So she will put her hand in his and they will run off into the sunset-”

“You mean sunrise. It was already nighttime in your setting of the story.”

“Yes. Pardon,” he announced, his pronunciation almost on point, “The sunrise. But you get the idea.”

“Oh stop it, hyung,” both of them turned to face a rather embarrassed and blushing Jongup, “That’s never gonna happen.”

“Don’t try to tell me you’ve never thought about it,” Youngjae kept teasing.

“I feel like we’re gossip girls or something right now, talking about this the way we do,” Himchan chuckled lightly, and hit the back of Youngjae’s head playfully, getting up from his spot, “Okay, as always. I cook, you wash up.”

“But hyuuuuung.”

“You can always eat cereal like Jongup-ah instead, if you’re not satisfied with this distribution of duties,” Himchan called from somewhere far away, making Youngjae pout one more time before he got up to do as told, “Although, then you’d have to wash up as well. So it’s a no-win situation for you.”

Jongup stayed in place, glancing at the phone one more time as he heard the familiar, at this point already exciting swooping sound.

And now I missed breakfast, all because of that other research paper that I managed to wrap up only earlier this morning. But maybe it’s even convenient. I guess I’d need to go on a diet anyways. [08:51]

She didn’t, he was certain. She sounded like someone who would constantly criticize no one but herself, and one day he will come up to her and tell her to cut it. Take her out and eat cupcakes or something, and tell her how lovely she was at heart, and at face as well. He was convinced she was beautiful, because everyone who was this beautiful at heart had to be beautiful on the outside as well.

And beauty wasn’t measurable by the size of the waist anyways, right?

Time kept passing, and he kept sitting around and reading. From time to time either Himchan or Youngjae would budge him about it, and poke at him, telling him he had to do something in return. But he only ever answered that he wasn’t good at holding conversation, and rather wanted to simply stay and read.

“Don’t let it slide,” they’d say, but he was hard to convince to act in any way that would reveal himself and who he was. But that didn't mean he didn’t try to communicate with her in other, different ways. 

She’d had flowers delivered to her university, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink as they were handed to her and a dozen of jealous girls threw all types of glances her way. Yet she never found out where those flowers came from, since there was no sender’s name left behind. Only a note with neat handwriting on it, saying “non-existent friend”, and she couldn’t quite tie her mind around it. Little surprises continued to await her at every corner - even at a place like her favorite coffee shop - and she found herself wondering who had been kind and generous enough to gift her with all of it. And who even knew enough about her to get something such ad her favorite flowers or chocolates  or anything else right.

It all silently continued on the same way, until a particular evening when he found himself lying on his bed again, waiting for the message stream, yet nothing came up. And he was left alone, without company in the evening or any clue of what had happened to her.

He told himself it was nothing at first. She was away somewhere. Out with family, perhaps? Or maybe friend? Although he knew she lived rather far from family, and had only few friends. He was laying around, waiting, and eventually he fell asleep like that, just to wake up the next morning and find nothing but Instagram notifications and cat videos sent to him by Himchan.

Nothing from her. Not even a single message. And as this continued every evening from then on, he became convinced she was gone. Probably forever.

It bothered him. Had something happened, or was she simply busy? She was always busy, or so she stated, yet somehow she was always able to find time for typing. But not in the past weeks, as he was met with total and utter silence from her end of the line, ans finally understood how she must’ve been feeling about this whole thing. 

Receiving nothing. It indeed was horrible. And maybe if he would’ve revealed himself to her, she would’ve still been a part of his life.

Only now he figured how truly.. alone he was without her company. It all seemed unreal and unusual, yet he had found peace and comfort in her stories. Her life differed from his significantly, and he figured he was quite interested in her daily life and the things she did. He found it to be a little vacation for his mind for when it was tired of running circles, as reading her stories was always like a little treat of the day. That is, until it all disappeared.

And reappeared after what seemed almost a month already. Or rather eternity, judging by his point of view and perception of time.

I can’t do it anymore. [00:01]

The lone message scared him, and as another long-gone and much missed message stream started blowing up his phone, he sat tight and read carefully, not to miss a single detail.

And then he realized she was crying out for help. To no one but an empty space.

It hurts. Everything does, and I wish it would’ve went down another way. [00:02]

She was talking about her family situation, her studies, relationships and everything else. Everything had seemingly crumbled at this one moment, and he was genuinely worried about her. He only barely knew how it was to feel down and be alone at those moments, since he was usually used to having someone around to help. And he figured this would be a long, boring night for him anyways if he decided to let i slide. Even if this was a mistake, he wasn’t the brightest in the head, so he was allowed to make mistakes every now and then.

I swear, this is the only nice place left in Seoul. I seem to hate everything else at this point already. [00:04]

He glanced at the few further words, trying to recall the location she named and eventually being able to do so. The city was beyond big, but this place she was at wasn’t far away, and that was by far the luckiest coincidence of the week, or maybe even the whole month. And since life had been nice to him and he had been gifted with a location, he simply got up, put his shoes and coat on and headed for the door.

“It’s late, Jongup-ah. Where are you leaving to?”

He turned a little to face Himchan who had just stumbled out of the living room at the wrong time, his “I was napping just a second ago” face going strong. Jongup simply threw him a barely-there smile, and stepped out of the apartment, closing the door behind himself lightly and leaving Himchan alone and confused in the dimly lit hallway.

“To meet a friend.”

It was surprisingly easy to find her, as there was only one person around, and he lingered a little longer as he saw an unfamiliar frame in the place she should’ve been at. He simply feared to be called a creep and get into trouble for it all.

“(Y/N)?”

He saw her turning slowly, throwing him a puzzled glance as she tried to process. And he had to admit that he needed a moment to process as well.

He had imagined her to be beautiful, but this view in front of him was better than any of the images his imagination had created on it’s own with only knowing mere facts she’d slipped in conversation. Her hair fell beautifully, lightly covering her face and her soft features that got highlighted by the street lights to make it even more graceful. Her brows slightly furrowed in confusion as she looked at the rather lost, young man in front of her. And the way she tried to remember who he was, but found herself to be clueless.

“Sorry if I sound rude, but.. I can’t quite recall you,” she quietly said, and only now he noticed she’d been crying.

“Who are you?”

Instead of getting a reply, she saw him shyly fiddling around his pockets to pull out his phone. And with a few taps, swipes and no additional conversation or explanations, his hands extended towards hers, offering her to take the phone.

And she did, not questioning and simply looking down on his hands, her fingers sliding lightly over his as she took the device and threw it a glance.

He inspected her face, and wondered what would happen. A feeling of uneasiness had spread all across his gut, and he simply waited for her verdict. For anything really, as he saw a little crease forming between her eyebrows, indicating she had understood what she was looking at.

“These are my messages..” she quietly muttered, observing the screen with extra care as realization suddenly hit like a train and she stared back at him with a puzzled look.

“I thought that number was…”

“Abandoned? Yeah, not really,” he scratched the back of his head looking away in embarrassment.

He watched her from the corners of his eyes though, and saw she was clueless on what to say and what to do next. He didn’t blame her at all - he was quite puzzled himself in theses types of situations, this one being an extremely unusual case. But at least she hadn’t ran away from him yet, which was somewhat comforting.. Right?

“I’m.. I’m sorry for never giving you a response,” he looked back at her with an unsure glance, yet found comfort in the way she simply listened, without interrupting or anything. He was a stranger, but she could see through him with her beautiful, intelligent eyes, and knew he meant no harm and was nervous, having troubles at explaining himself. So she simply listened.

“I wanted to. But I had schedules..” he looked somewhere away, snapping back and clarifying after a moment, “Working schedules, that is.”

“And I kind of forgot. Until the evening you started typing a whole stream of messages.. My phone kept buzzing, and I read it all, wanting to type something in return. But then I felt.. I don’t know.. Quite ashamed, or maybe even awkward to respond? You had poured your whole heart out there, and it would’ve been stupid to just type back something like “Yeah, nice story. I’m Jongup, by the way, and not a non-existent friend-”

“Non-existent friend..” he saw her recognizing the name, and felt rather stupid for having said that. Looks like she had a rather good memory, and it had just been sparked to recall all the little things he had treated her with.

“Are you behind all of the small surprises?” a mix or utter surprise and shock alongside mild happiness was displayed on her face, and he simply wanted to hide away as he felt his cheeks turning a bright shade or red.

“Well, kind of..”

“This is so.. unbelievably absurd,” he heard her chuckling, and suddenly felt the strong desire to wrap this whole explanation up for once and forever, sparing himself the painful mild awkwardness.

“Listen,” his hand unconsciously reached for hers, and she mildly flinched, yet didn’t pull away as she saw he was too far away from this world to react properly anyways, “I know it sounds creepy, but every time you were typing something, I was sitting on the other end of the line and reading. I found out a lot about you that way, and.. Figured you’re such a nice person. I really like you, actually, and all these issues you have to face all the time that constantly keep bringing you down aren’t worth it.”

“You’re so kind and so nice, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise,” he was looking right into her eyes, making her blush as he spoke shamelessly, pouring everything out of his heart, saying the truth when it need to be said, “And since you’d been having a hard time, I figured I could brighten it at least somehow.. I mean, you sounded happy about the flowers and everything, so I just continued doing it..”

“And why did you never tell me you were there, reading it all?” she said, and he suddenly glanced at their intertwined hands, pulling his away shyly and causing her to chuckle lightly.

“I was, I don’t know.. Anxious to come off weird. Or scare you away.”

“Scare me away?” she suddenly giggled, and he felt how she pinched his cheek a littleonly seconds later, “You’re cute and not scary.”

“Well.. Y-you wouldn’t be able to know that if I’m b-behind a phone screen..” he found himself stuttering at her braveness and the way she wasn’t ashamed to do what she desired, “But yeah, I’m not scary. Just a regular guy, making bad decisions and good mistakes.”

“Good mistakes?” she questioned, starting to walk off. He felt a light tug to his sleeve before her fingers disconnected from his coat, and took it as an indicator that she wanted him to come along as well.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, tucking his hands into his jeans pockets and following closely, “We were out with friends that night, feeling quite tipsy. Thought it would be funny to write our numbers on paper and let them sail with the wind to see if someone would find them and contact us afterwards. So, like a "message in a bottle” type of thing, just less well thought-out and exciting.“

"Sounds like fun-”

“I’m not an alcoholic, by the way. That was just an occasional drink,” she laughed out loud at that, seeing how he wanted to come off as truly nice to her and wanted to leave a good first impression desperately, and simply nodded in agreement.

“J-jongup, right?”

“Yes. I’m Moon Jongup.”

“That’s a cute name, actually.”

“Thank you. Your’s better though.”

And they walked the night away, silently chuckling as the moon shone above their heads, highlighting the shadows their frames cast on the pavement in the most beautiful ways. He was glad she didn’t think of him as a complete weirdo, and found himself liking her a lot, actually. The mere sight of her picture perfect features had him mesmerized, and he scolded himself for behaving like an animal when his mouth started slightly watering at the sight of her nicely shaped lips moving and causing beautiful sounds to come out of her mouth that unconsciously crawled right through his ears, but refused to leave his mind completely once they had gotten in.

He’d indeed imagined her to be amazing. But this had topped all expectations.

And by the end of the night, he was sure - this weird and fuzzy feeling he felt at the pit of his stomach was indeed attraction. Attraction towards someone who was far from being a stranger to him, even though he was a stranger to her.

“And how comes you found me today?���

He turned to her, knowing she’d just said she had to get going and would be away in minutes, and smiled his brightest smile, causing her to melt a little at how genuinely mood lifting his smile happened to be.

“You typed where you were. And after I’d read about all of your troubles.. You know, I didn’t want you to feel alone..”

“I most definitely didn’t tonight,” she said, and with that, walked up to give him an embrace that lasted way too little.

“It’s weird, but I like it,” she whispered, face buried in his coat, and was gone within seconds, leaving him to stand alone and process all that had happened.

“Please, respond from now on.. Existent friend,” he heard her voice rather faintly in the distance, and answered too silent for her to hear, rather saying it to himself.

“I sure will.”

And he did now every now and them, smiling as she encouraged him to tell her more about himself, since he knew all he needed to know about her for the start, but she was clueless on many things regarding him. The tiny surprises never stopped, and neither did her gratefulness for them. Late night walks had become a regular thing, and even thought Youngjae and Himchan’s teasing could become close to unbearable at times, he knew his never-ending indefinite suffering was worth it.

He wasn’t just attracted to her. He really, really liked her, and since a thing he didn’t like was waiting around for too long, he decided to let her know just after a month of actually being acquainted, using another bouquet of flowers to send a message instead having to type it out.

She looked at the neat handwriting on the card, and smiled down on it.

“Who keeps sending you all these flowers?” a friend of hers asked, and she simply laughed in return.

“Someone I really like,” she traced her fingers over the location written on the note, and looked at her friend, “Someone who has become the most beautiful coincidence in my life so far.”

And as she came by to meet him that evening, dressed to impress in her prettiest clothes even though her personality alone already made his heart skip a beat, he didn’t greet her with a “hello”, with a wave of his hand or a hug that lasted a little too long to be considered simply friendly appropriate. He greeted her with a question that mattered to him instead.

“Can I kiss you?”

And all she could do was give him a shy nod before she felt his frame pressing against hers lightly, his arms wrapping around her tightly as he leaned in and lingered before her lips for a little, cautiously pecking them once a second later.

But once was far from being enough, and soon she found her hands trailing to rest on his cheeks, tracing circles in a relaxing and calm fashion as she felt herself being lifted up to heaven. Her feet did in fact disconnect from the ground a little as he pulled her up, leaving her to barely reach the ground on her tippy toes as he supported all of her weight on his bare arms. Yet that was of no importance as he was giving her kiss after kiss, going at a soft, slow pace, making sure it was comfortable and pleasurable beyond anything else. But he had to admit that he was faced with a hard time when holding her like that. The mere touch of her lips had already made his knees weak, and he had to use all his strength not to fall apart and collapse right there and then. Who knew she was this damn intoxicating and addicting?

“You look stunning,” he complimented as he pulled away, and she chuckled, hiding her face in the crook of his neck immediately.

“I’m blushing already, Jongup-ah. Don’t. I’m not used to this.”

“I will continue nonetheless, sorry not sorry. From now on even more, since you have to get used to it. That’s how it’s going to be now.”

And as they walked off that night, with the stars once again shining bright above them and lighting the way, she was glad about all that had happened. With his fingers tangled in between hers, and his calming voice throwing out savage or sometimes simply adorable commentary, there was nothing more she could ever wish for. She knew there were still a thousand different things she didn’t know about him, yet that didn’t bother her, as she believed she’d find out along the way. And she knew it was all unusually absurd, but couldn’t help but take his sudden presence in her life as a sing.

She glanced up at him and made him throw her a questioning look.

“Want to say something?” he questioned, and saw her considering, just to nod afterwards, “You’ve got my whole attention. I’m listening.”

“Thank you for never telling me off and reading through all my babbling,” she blurted out, and made him smile, “And thank you for caring for me, and eventually coming to check on me back then. I..”

“..you?” he chuckled after the little pause she’d made, as he wanted to know the continuing from the depths of his heart.

“I like you a lot, Jongup-ah. And I’m so grateful to have met you.”

And that’s all he’d been wanting to hear for a while, so he smiled in return, and, just because he could, leaned down to press another quick, loving peck on her lips, leaving her to let out a soft sound of disapproval as his lips disconnected from hers a little too soon.

“I like you too, (Y/N). You’re the best coincidence that had ever happened to me,” he chuckled, and wrapped his arms around her, figuring she should get all she ever wanted. Which, in this case, was a dose of him. And he was more than ready to offer it all to her, leaning back down to seal the unnecessary gap between himself and her with yet another kiss that displayed it all.

He was beyond grateful. And he truly wanted to try this out and stay with her.

[coffee-for-himchan]

Not The Same Language (Jongup)  // “With You” series, pt.3

Third part of the winter-themed 6 scenario series called “With You”. Featuring a language barrier that’s beyond breakable, and emotions that don’t need words in order to be expressed.

Summary: She’d come up to him out of nowhere, shyly asking if he spoke English, and, to her disappointment, he didn’t. But was that enough of a reason to let her wander off all shook up and almost teary eyed? Jongup had more heart than that. And if he couldn’t ask her properly about what was wrong, he’d find other ways to do so.

IMPORTANT (A/N) So, since in this scenario there will be multiple languages and ways of communication, pay attention to how the said text is marked! Italic is English, bold is Korean. Blockquote means typed out. If it’s a italic blockquote, it’s something Jongup said that got translated into English, and if it’s a bold blockquote, it’s something that’s been translated into Korean. You’ll get the idea when you get to that part! ^.^

Part 1 (Himchan) // Part 2 (Yongguk) // Part 3 (Jongup) // Part 4 (Daehyun) // Part 5 (Youngjae) // Part 6 (Junhong)

// “italic - English” // “bold - korean” // “block quote - typed out on the phone”

“E-excuse me..”

He turned, hearing the familiar phrase but not knowing how to answer. In front of him happened to be beauty itself, and out of all of the people, she had decided to talk to him.

There was only a slight issue. English was a language he didn’t possess.

He knew phrases here and there, of course, but nothing advanced that reached past the few English parts of any of his songs. So he stood there, looking confused yet cute beyond belief, making her blush and throw him a sad look.

“You don’t speak English, do you?”

“Don’t”. That meant “no”, so much he knew. And English.

“No,” he figured he’d understood, and lightly shook his head in disapproval.

Her face shifted, and he felt beyond guilty knowing he’d been the cause behind her frown. And as she turned her head a bit to the right, he saw tears brimming in the corners of her eyes.

“Nevermind then. Sorry for being a bother,” she seemed to have forgotten already, and turned to walk off slowly, but he lightly took a hold of her wrist, making her freeze and turn back around.

“I have.. Friend.. He speak,” he answered, hoping some of that was right at least. She looked relieved, and flashed him a light smile as he fiddled around in his pockets with the hand that wasn’t holding onto her lightly, searching for his phone and pulling it out, screwing up twice before actually dialing Junhong’s number.

“Jongup hyung, what’s the matter-”

“Hey, can you real quick talk with this girl I met on the street,” he threw her a glance, seeing at how his babbling that she didn’t quite understand amused her lightly, “She seems to have troubles finding someone who knows English-”

“Hey, I’m not amazingly great at it either-”

“But you’re better than me, or any of us, really. Please, Junhong-ah..” a sigh could be heard at the end of the line, and he gave his approval within the next few seconds, hearing as the phone was bring handled to someone else.

Jongup watched her carefully. How she furrowed her brows lightly while conversing, and how her face sank with every word she said and every word she heard in answer.

He figured she was talking about hotels. And flights. Did she intend to fly somewhere today?

“I see.. Thank you nonetheless,” she answered, letting the phone in her hand slide from her cheek as she gave it back to Jongup.

“Thank you,” she simply answered not knowing what else to say. And when he figured she was going away again, he tried to speak up. For some reason, he wanted her to stay for longer.

“Is everything.. Aah.. Fine?” He had issues finding the right word, yet was surprised when she seemed to have understood, and lightly shook her head “no”.

So she must know a few Korean phrases and words as well. That didn’t lighten the situation too much, but somehow made it seem hopeful.

“Look, you were going somewhere.. I don’t want to bother you-”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

It was a little awkward at first as they stood across each other, not really sure about the other person, but definitely knowing for themselves that they didn’t want to leave just yet. She figured he understood more than she thought at first, even if not a lot, and he figured she wasn’t a complete stranger to Korean either.

“Tell me.. What’s wrong,” he asked gently, seeing how a light blush crept across his cheeks. Was this too much? He just wanted to help, after all.

“A cancelled flight yesterday,” she told him, hoping he would understand, “My hotel reservation ended yesterday as well. And I hoped to make it back home today with another flight, yet I missed it, and..”

“I just don’t know where to go now..”

Her face displayed that she’d been feeling low all this time, and as tears started brimming at her eyes again, he felt his heart sinking lower. She didn’t deserve to cry over unfortunes of this kind.

“Don’t cry..” he hesitantly said, making her chuckle a little as a tear slid down her cheek. His accent was so cute, and so was the fact he tried hard.

“It’s alright, it really is,” she told him, forcing on a smile, “I’ll think of something.”

And without thinking twice, since that wasn’t his specialty, he blurted out a phrase about her coming along with him, since she had nowhere to go. And with a little more convincing, she actually agreed.

“I help,” he knew it was beyond wrong, and a broken sentence, yet it offered enough info for her to understand when he took away her heavy-looking bag out of her hands and walked beside her, leading her back to the dorms.

Why though? He didn’t even know her name, yet he felt the need to help her out. Her rosy cheeks and reddish ears were the cutest thing he’d seen in a while, and he loved how her eyes displayed indefinite emotion. She was just an unfortunate person, having unfortunately stayed alone on Christmas Eve without a flight home and a place to go, and since he was alone as well, he figured why not help her and at least do a good deed.

She walked rather shyly next to him, and he wasn’t sure how comfortable she was with the situation. Yet he didn’t force her or anything, so her coming along had fully been up to her. And as he gestured for her to step inside, she gracefully entered the apartment, trying to tell herself it was alright to crash a stranger’s Christmas plans.

Yet when she walked in, the big family fest and dinner she’d imagined, with laughter and festive music filling the air, was nowhere to be seen. She was simply met with silence and an unlit, empty home.

He turned on the lights, waiting for her to give him her coat so he could hang it. And as he lead her into the living room and gestured for her to sit on the sofa, she put her hand on his lightly before he could go away anywhere.

“Aren’t you going out to celebrate tonight?”

He furrowed her brows a little, and she tried hard to remember all the recently learned Korean vocabulary.

“Going out.. Tonight,” she pointed at him and saw how a light smile formed on his lips, as if saying “big thanks for trying. I really appreciate it.”

“No,” he shook his head, “Staying”

And she seemed to have understood, so he left her sitting on the couch and wandered off to somewhere she didn’t know of.

“You shouldn’t have..” she mumbled rather to herself after a while as he handed her a warm beverage, which appealingly smelled of hot chocolate. She chuckled at his choice of a festive mug, and gently took a sip, getting all shy and blushy as she noticed him staring. But he seemed to enjoy seeing her all surprised yet thankful and happy for the hot chocolate, and as he sat next to her, his own mug in his hands, silence fell over them. But not the uncomfortable type of silence.

She watched him carefully, and smiled as she took another sip. He was beyond gorgeous, even model-looking in some way, or so she thought. His smile was heartwarming and inviting, which is why she’d even decided to speak up to him on the street, after failing to converse with many other people. But what’s more important, he had a good heart. And he was lonely, so maybe this wasn’t a too bad coincidence for both of them.

“Do you live alone here?”

He looked back at her, and saw how she asked him with a smile. Trying to wrap his mind around the phrase, he thought he got it. Maybe. But, just in case, she repeated it again.

“Live..”

“Alone.”

“No,” he gestured to one door, “Hyung’s room,” and, after a while, pointed at another door, trying to come up with a reasonable sentence.

“Hyung… 2 room.”

She laughed, making him blush lightly.

“Where they? Tonight?”

He figured he actually really liked this broken conversation of theirs. It was so incomplete, yet so intriguing. Like a riddle, he tried to read her and her lack of Korean speaking ability. And he found himself getting invested into it.

“Family,” he gestured away at the door, meaning to tell her they were away celebrating with their loved ones.

“And you?”

He thought of how to respond, and found no way to do it. 

He simply didn’t want to bother them. They had gone to meet some further relatives that didn’t live in Seoul, and even though he was more than simply awaited and invited there, he found it hard to combine that with his schedules. So he decided not to be a burden and stayed behind, cancelling out of Himchan’s plans to pull him along to his family party as well, to avoid awkwardness. He really appreciated his efforts, but, in full seriousness - staying alone seemed more pleasant than feeling awkward all the time.

She saw him stuttering and searching for any type of sense in hey gaze, and she interrupted his suffering with a chuckle.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to tell.”

“I.. Can’t,” he chuckled, turning his stare away and making her chuckle as well, “Don’t know how.”

“It’s alright..” she said, and he found the silence just about appropriate to squeeze in his name, since she was still in the blue about it. Taking up his good reputation as a singer, he did it in a melodic fashion.

“Jongup.”

“Jongup..” he heard her repeating, and melted internally at how cute her accent was, especially when  saying his name. And he found a weird craving to hear it again.

“(Y/N).”

He saw her extending a hand towards him, and took it gently into his bigger one, shaking it lightly and playfully. The mere touch she offered sent a cold chill down his spine, as her hands were rather icy compared to his, and he noted to take a blanket soon andlet her cuddle up in it.

Conversation became even more broken as they wanted to talk, but found no way to do it. A lightning fast idea made Jongup search for an app that could translate, and found one that looked promising.

“This is weird but it might work,” she looked at him in amusement as he talked to his phone, articulating every word and not slurring a single sound. Right as she was about to question a beep of his phone cut her off, and he turned the screen towards her so she could read.

“This is weird but it might work”

Ten minutes later they had acquired this technique already, and were slowly but steadily able to make small talk. She told him all - how she had gone to visit a friend in Seoul, and was supposed to fly back home for the holidays yesterday, yet her flight got cancelled. She told him how she bought another ticket from all the leftover money, just to end up missing the flight because of traffic jams and wrong directions.

“Stupid of me,” she looked at him, smiling as he shook his head in disapproval.

“No stupid,” she kept laughing at his tries to speak so she could understand, and nodded a little, feeling something tingling inside her stomach. A fuzzy feeling that told her he was beyond cute and nice. And likable.

“Just unfortunate”

She said it out loud as she read from the screen, and nodded, hopefully in agreement. Yeah, maybe she wasn’t stupid. Just unfortunate.

“And where did you intend to go?” his next statement read.

"Ehh.. I don’t even know. My friend had family coming over, and I didn’t want to bother. I was just walking to get to the airport or something. To hopefully find a flight that would be cheap enough for me to actually get and come home if not on Christmas, then the next morning.”

“Are you sad for not making it back?”

He genuinely cared, because he had a beautiful heart that had place for many, and had a special one free in spare for someone like her. For someone special - someone who could be considered a little surprise along the way.

“It’s nothing big, I guess. I just didn’t want to be alone today..”

“I’m here.”

She looked at him gratefully, and smiled. It was still a coincidence that seemed far from believable, yet it had happened, and she was here. At his house, sitting tangled up in blankets and drinking hot chocolate as they talked.

At 9 PM his stomach started rumbling.

“Hungry?” she chuckled, seeing his rising blush and the little not that followed.

She really wanted to do something good for him. He had spared her a long, cold walk to the airport, and had given her a place to stay at for a night or a few, as he told her earlier. So, with a little hesitation but more bravery in her heart than ever, she stood up, and took his sleeve in between her fingers, motioning for him to get up and follow.

With a wrong turn or two she found the kitchen, and he leaned against the counters, watching as she inspected the food supply.

“I’m help…-ing,” he cautiously said, causing her to giggle again, and trying to understand any further explanations she gave. It was hard at first, and they definitely depended on the phone a lot, but soon instructions were given using hand gestures, sounds and limited words, alongside laughter, and they seemed as clear as instructions could be.

Laughter was filling the whole house.

And it didn’t stop when he bumped into her, giving an apologetic glance, as well as it didn’t stop when he almost spilled all the contents of the frying pan, giving her apologetic puppy eyes for being the best dancer in existence yet sometimes not being able to walk two steps straight as he could be quite clumsy. Soom cooking was over, and they were seated at the dining table, taking a first bite to see how it had turned out.

He made funny faces, indicating the food was beyond heavenly, and it warmed her heart. She finally could give at least something in return for his kindness. At least a nice Christmas diner.

“And what do you intend to do tomorrow?”

She gave him a heartwarming shrug as they watched television later that evening, and sighed.

“Look out for any possible flights back. No worries, I won’t be a bother.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.”

She wanted to question him on what it was instead that he worried about, but found the lack of explanations pleasingly intriguing. He’d come around to telling her later, if it was of matter.

All the previous troubles, the nervousness, the diner and movies had made her sleepy, and he watched as she cutely battled sleep, trying to keep her eyes open and failing soon, her head landing on his shoulder with a soft “thump” as he heard her light breathing, and smiled. He was glad she was alright.

The next morning she awoke to a light poke to her arm.

“(Y/N)~~” she heard her name being called out, and initially froze a little, until she recalled the events from the previous night.

“Good morning, (Y/N).”

She was seemingly looking up to the face of an angel, until she realized it was no other than Jongup. Well, he was close enough to an angelic figure since all the previous events anyways, right?

Jongup. Yeah, the guy she’d stumbled upon while feeling very low yesterday, and the guy she spent Christmas with. The guy who spared her spending it alone.

“Hey,” she simply answered, blushing at her surroundings. He had his phone pulled up already, and you took it in your hands, reading over the stream of typed words.

“Himchan hyung and Youngjae hyung are back, but I told them about you. No worries, just don’t pay attention to them if they tease you.”

She vaguely recalled yesterday now. She’d fallen asleep on the couch after what seemed like ages, and he looked down on her, wondering how he’d gotten so lucky to have such unusual company for the evening. He scooped her up in his arms, not having the heart to wake her, and walked up to his room to place her in his bed, going through the troubles of sleeping on the couch himself. She stirred a little in his tight grip, and his heart melted as she nuzzled her face into his chest while asleep, completely unconscious of the feelings she arose inside his chest with her actions. To be honest, he found her close presence comfortable, and wanted to stay tangled up with her for longer. But that wouldn’t have been appropriate.

She tip-toed her way to the bathroom, and Jongup had to once again remind his two friends on how they shouldn’t tease the hell out of her and make it awkward.

“Everything for you, Jongup-ah,” Youngjae smirked, making him already blush in embarrassment, “For you and your girlfriend-”

“Oh, shut up,” Himchan said and punched Youngjae in the arm, “He did a good thing yesterday. And you should try to come off as nice, at least-”

The floor creaking lightly and her frame appearing in the doorway made them turn their heads, and Jongup quickly scurried over, putting his hand on her lower back as if saying everything was alright, as he stood next to her and introduced her to his friends.

She had to admit, they were a fun and lovable bunch. Youngjae, despite language barriers, was still hilarious, and Himchan was caring and sweet, and a good cook. He served breakfast, and the four of them ate, trying to communicate in the funniest yet sweetest ways possible. She kept looking over at Jongup, and he kept smiling back, showing she had nothing to fear. This was an environment she could feel safe and non-awkward in, and her heart ached from the amounts of overflowing good emotions. She really didn’t fear anything. He had brought her here, and made sure she was fine. What for? Nothing really. He simply had a big heart, and she had no fears while being in his company.

Youngjae left to paths only he knew later on, and Himchan was busy with something in his room. It was a quiet knock on the door that snapped her out of her own doings, and she turned her head as the door creaked open and Jongup’s head popped out from behind it.

Seeing all was clear to come in, he made his way to her, and sat next to her on the bed. For a second, they were looking at each other and smiling, and right as she wanted to speak up, she noticed a paper in his hands.

“What’s that?”

He gave it to her, his fingers stroking against hers in the softest, most meaningful fashion as she reached for the papers and studied them carefully.

A plane ticket.

He watched her eyes growing wider, and chuckled as she threw her arms around his neck and squeezed him to death in an embrace that stated it all - she was beyond grateful.

Yet as the initial hype had died down, he felt her body relax against his as her head turned, her lips being dangerously close to his ear.

“I can’t accept that. That’s too much.”

It took them a while to sort it, with and without the help of his phone, but eventually she agreed to take it and fly back to her homeland. She kept telling him how he really shouldn’t have done that. She kept saying how she was about to sort it all out on her own. She kept telling him how she was sorry for bugging him. And she made a thousand promises, saying she’d pay him back as soon as possible, but he simply looked at her and smiled.

“I don’t care.”

And with that, she packed up all her things she had taken out of her bag since the previous day, and prepared to board a plane. A plane to take her back home.

He didn’t let her get away without lunch, and ordered Himchan around to find a nice café to eat at for the three of them. His hyung didn’t mind being ordered around this time around at all, as he found the situation near amusing yet cute. Hell, if that wasn’t affection in Jongup’s eyes he saw, he needed to get an appointment at the optician’s. And if Jongup really liked her, he had his reasons - reasons Himchan respected, and wanted to help out because of.

Another hour of laughing and broken conversation passed, and they were driven to the airport by Himchan.

“I’m sorry for ruining all your plans,” she spoke while sitting in the backseat with him, already aware on how to adjust her manner of speech and accent so he’d catch on to something.

“No plan,” he announced, smiling sheepishly as Himchan took a sharp turn and she yelped, her frame colliding into Jongup’s lightly, “Don’t worry.”

Himchan left the two to walk out alone, and there was still an insignificant amount of time left until the boarding to her plane would be closed, and it would take high up into the skies, travelling a long way to where she resided. And as they stood across each other in the middle of the airport and smiled sad smiles, he felt it.

Like a dagger piercing right through his heart, making it hard to breathe. She couldn’t leave. Not right when he figured he liked her.

Silly of him, right? It had literally been a night - a night of broken conversation as they didn’t even speak the same language properly. Yet something about her made his heart skip not one and not two, but many more beats. And she couldn’t leave, because he was someone to decide on whether he likes someone or not quickly, yet needed time to figure if he wasn’t mistaken. And he wanted to make sure he wasn’t mistaken badly.

“Thank you for all,” she was shyly looking down at her feet, leaning back and forth nervously to avoid any eye contact.

“Please,” he answered, and she chuckled a little, figuring he meant “you’re welcome”.

“You’re welcome.”

And when she looked up to him, she couldn’t keep herself away from it. She’s never been in similar situations, and all of this was so absurd, yet she felt like she had to do it. Or, otherwise, life wouldn’t give her another chance.

And she rose to her tippy toes, grabbed on his opened jacket and softly kissed his lips.

It would be a lie to say he knew it would come, yet it didn’t take him that much by surprise either. He figured he had no time to act surprised. They had a minute or two left, and he needed to use that time wisely.

She pulled back too soon after gifting him with too little, a reddish tint colouring her cheeks as she had no clue if this was appropriate or not. But his hand on her lower back encouraged her, and the fact he was still at close distance after the kiss, not flinching and scurrying away, displayed his opinion inevitably.

And he returned the favor with another gentle kiss of her lips.

“You can’t leave now.”

She giggled, weirdly understanding what he’d said, and buried her face in the crook of his neck as he pulled her close.

“I have to, Jongup. I have to go home.”

And even though she did in fact leave after another minute, waving him her last goodbyes and shedding smiles he knew he’d miss, he was aware she’d come back. She couldn’t have left forever, since there was something more than one single friend that tied her to Seoul now. It was her lucky coincidence Jongup as well from now on.

Exactly a year later he found himself standing on the same spot, hands tucked into pockets as half his face was buried into a big, warm scarf.

“So, how’s your girlfriend doing?”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he blushed, making both his hyungs look at each other and roll their eyes in unison.

“She will be. I can smell it.”

“Youngjae hyung, I know Himchan hyung’s dinner smells lovely, but “lovely” differs from “love”, okay?”

“Stop being a savage and admit it. You’re head-over-heels for her.”

He found himself nodding at nobody as he recalled the conversation from earlier that morning, and chuckled at how his mind could bring him the most random places at the most random moments.

“She speaks Korean now?”

“A little, yes. Why are you asking?”

“I figured that if you’d improved in English so much recently, she might know a phrase or two in Korean now too.”

But to be honest, he could care less. A language barrier wasn’t able to keep them apart last time, nor was it able to do so when they continued to text, call and facetime afterwards, using translators, dictionaries - everything, at first, but then slowly feeling improvement to their skills, until the point where they could talk almost freely, and would switch from one language to another if they weren’t able to express themselves all that well.

Masses of people started flowing out of the hall, and his eyes were scanning over the place, looking for her. At moments like these he really wished he’d have a pair of glasses lying around, as squinting into the distance wasn’t helping much, but the moment he saw a frame running towards him, he didn’t need to double check for who it was.

“Jongup-ah!!”

Her arms wrapped around his neck as all belongings were carelessly thrown to the side, and her giggled filled the air as he lifted and spun her around, quietly laughing himself at how pleasant it felt to finally have her back.

He placed her back down, and they had a hard time thinking on how to act. Giggling at each other’s faces, they were so obviously in love that it was undeniable. And as conversation didn’t start up, despite language barriers having been almost broken down already, he leaned in to kiss her instead.

They hadn’t talked about it. He had never called her his, and she’d never returned the favor. They’d never made it official between the two of them. But the amount of care they put in to develop this relationship, and the amount of worry they had for each other had already put it out on display ages ago. They were a thing.

He softly cooed her name in between kisses as her arms wrapped around his neck, and he let his mouth lazily slide against hers in a way that showed they had nowhere to hurry and nothing to worry about. She seemed to like it, finding pleasure in the way his body moved against hers slowly, and took note to remember this feeling for when he wouldn’t be around once again.

A year ago was just a showcase. And this was finally the real thing.

“Himchan hyung is waiting for us in the car,” he pulled away, smiling at her as she nodded.

“He’ll drive us back home. And we have dinner planned, by the way.”

“Dinner?” she rose a brow at him as he started swinging their frames from side to side.

“Christmas is two days from now. So what ocassion is being celebrated today?”

“The return of my girlfriend.”

She froze a little, and he chuckled at her initial reaction.

“Do I have to ask you out? I thought smooching at airports was proof enough that I love you.”

And she giggled, relaxing back into his comfortable embrace.

“It is.. Boyfriend.”

“We have different plans for Christmas,” he took her bag in one hand, and intertwined his other with hers as they walked into the direction of the exit.

“And those consist of?”

“Going to see my family.”

He chuckled again at how lost and frightened she looked at first, and was quick to mend her racing heart.

“I’ve told them all about us. And they suggested for us to come over. They really want to meet you.”

It took only minutes to get to the car, and Himchan, who liked crashing her and Jongup’s conversations every now and then, already seemed like an old friend to her as he gave her welcoming hugs.

“Himchan-ah, I missed you.”

“Wow, look at who can speak,” he teased, seeing as Jongup pulled her along to sit in the backseat with him before she’d blush more than she already did.

“And look who still can’t speak the teeniest bit of English.”

“Oh, c'mon, I sure can! I know all I need to know!! To all my babyz, yessir!” Jongup groaned at his hyung’s immature and embarrassment behavior, yet she found it funny, and that’s all that mattered.

The small talk filling the car died down at some point, and she felt her head slowly leaning against Jongup’s shoulder. Himchan watched in the back mirror as Jongup looked down on her, and gave her a smile before softly kissing her lips, making her hum in pleasure as he departed and making her scoot a little closer, snuggling up to his side and taking in the fact he was actually present.

“Ho cute. Please, don’t use the car backseat for other purposes though. I just cleaned everything there up yesterday.”

“Himchan hyung, ew,” Jongup exclaimed as she giggled in embarrassment, and hid her head in the fluff of his jacket near the crook of his neck.

“Just saying, just in case. You kids are moving at a dangerously fast tempo. If it took you a day to fall in love without even speaking the same language, I won’t be surprised if you shake me awake tomorrow at six in the morning, telling me to dress up nicely and quickly because you need a best man at your wedding.”

All of them chuckled, and Jongup knew that, to be honest, he wouldn’t mind or insist. Or at least his heart told him he wouldn’t.

But she was back, and she was staying for a little longer. He’d eventually fly over to see her at her home soon enough too. He even had the dates laid out and the flights booked, and he figured he’d surprise her with it on Christmas morning. They had plenty of time and opportunities now. No need to rush it all.

She understood it too, as he felt a tiny kiss being placed on his warm skin, her lips resting on that spot as they curled into a smile.

“We’re crazy, Jongup-ah.”

“So what?”

“Hmm.. It doesn’t matter, does it?”

“To me, not at all.”

And no other who knew their situation would think otherwise. It was a Christmas miracle. A thing only seen in books and movies, made into reality for everyone to watch and admire. A liking that sparked immediately, and a desire to know that turned into love. A love made to raise eyebrows and surprise others with.

But most of all, made for their hear beats to increase at every mere encounter, because they had become something more than strangers who bumped into each other on the street, and acquaintances who spent Christmas Eve together because otherwise they would’ve been alone.

They were lovers now. And half the world and language barriers couldn’t keep them apart, as they had fallen completely. And intended to fall together from then on.

[coffee-for-himchan]

Missing on Christmas (Jongup mafia/gang AU epilogue)

Word Count: 6.9 k+

Genre/warnings: Christmasy mafia AU (A lot of fluff, yet still involves the regular gang stuff nonetheless)

Summary: It was your first Christmas together after a lot of things had happened - after you forgiving him for his lies, and coming back to him, trying to find a way to trust him fully now after all he’d done. Yet when he went missing on Christmas Eve, even though he’d promised to be present, you started worrying. And as he came back bloody, you were thankful he came back at all.

(A/N) Follow-up to the Jongup mafia/gang AU I wrote ages ago already. But can be read as a standalone too - I feel like all needed background information is briefly given here.

"Jongup-ah-"

"Hmm?" he hummed innocently, as if he wasn't being the main issue here at all. His tone indicated he thought it wasn't his fault you'd simply stumbled out into his way while he was in such a playful emotional state.

"We were supposed to finish up-hmm-"

"-decorating," you let out only barely, feeling his grip tightening on your sides. You sure weren't allowed to talk now, yet you knew you were the only one who could disobey his commands without consequence.

"You're all the decoration this place needs. Christmas deco is overrated anyways," he answered, and carelessly went back to tracing his lips over yours again, teasingly at first, smirking right before performing a sharp movement that had you completely submerged into him. You felt him taking control, and felt yourself obeying without second thought, being lead the way he wanted you to go, and walking it obediently. Weak and willing to get toyed around with, as he was the puppeteer and you were just a simple marionette.

No. This wasn't s good trail of thought, and he noticed it as the passion died down inside of you a little, and he wasn't met with desperate tries to keep your lips locked together with his anymore.

"What's the matter?" his tone sounded caring, even if only a little. But you knew that he was still learning how to show it. You knew he was trying his best to make you stay, because he had fucked up big time in the past. And despite the mutual love, you still had all your rights to have trust issues.

"It's.. Nothing," your fingers slid over his defined cheek bones, and you turned away a little, feeling his breath itching at your skin as he bit his lip.

"I'm not done here yet," he quietly said, placing his lips back on yours - in a soft manner this time - and making you stay for a little longer before he untangled from you, and was back at being his regular self. The regular self you still had to fully learn about.

"You know, Christmas is overrated as a whole," he told, sprawling all across the couch on his back and staring up at the ceiling.

"Your invalid opinion doesn't free you from helping me to set everything up," you said, continuing your intentional decorating - the one he ruined with coming around the corner and deciding he was in desperate need for smooches. Lights were being hung along the edge of a shelf as he looked at your frame, and you heard silent chuckles from his side of the room.

"What's so funny?"

"You know, your butt looks really good in those trousers," he chuckled, and dodged just in time as you threw the first thing that was nearby at him, which happened to be a TV remote.

"Are you trying to get rid of me or what-"

"Jongup-ah, just stay silent or help, okay?"

He did the first before figuring he should be a little more of use and shouldn't leave you to do it on your own. You jumped a little as his body lightly bumped into yours from behind, his arms extending to hover above yours as he simply said, "I'll hold it," and let you adjust and fixate the lights in the needed position, as one pair of arms really wasn't enough for this task.

"We don't even have anyone coming over, so why try so hard?" he asked, this time around a little more cautious. He'd been cautious as a whole since you'd come back to him, but somehow had also managed to keep his sense of humor. But the more he looked at you walking from room to room, setting up a perfectly decorated apartment just for the two of you he couldn't help but wonder.

Who was all of this for?

Maybe he'd forgotten. Christmas for the last few years had always been somehow ruined. The last year especially, as he recalled having to pull a close to mission-impossible plan with Junhong to get to Daehyun who thought picking a fight with tough guys during festive season would be more efficient. Or the year before that, when the guys actually decided to cut themselves some slack and have a big dinner of tons of good food, yet ended up saving an old friend of theirs from getting taken hostage.

Hell, why did none of the gang stuff ever stop evenduring holidays?

"Because I want to feel nice and festive," he heard you say, and nodded in response quietly, "It's for no one other than us. All of this is for you and me, because, I don't know about you, but I.. I want to celebrate, because I don't remember if I had ever done it porperly. But I know I want to."

He gulped. Memory loss was still a thing, and despite going to see actual doctors now, the verdict was more than clear - the chance of you recalling everything there had ever been was close to a zero. He'd promised to always tell you the truth since the reunion, and upon hearing the news, he considered lying again. Just once. But he collected himself.

"You probably won't remember," he told you back then, tracing unsure shapes on your hand with his fingers, "And.. It's partially because of your initial classes and therapy sessions after memory loss. If those would've been real and not a setup.. There could've been a chance.."

"Okay," he simply heard you say, and as his eyes met yours, he couldn't help but admit.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault."

"You're forgiven," you said without additional thought or emotion, turning away lightly and sighing, "I guess I have nothing to go back to anyways. Better not remember about it."

And he cursed again when he recalled last year, as you had already been his but not fully yet, being in around stage three of four of relationship development as trouble rolled around the corner. There indeed had been one Christmas that you could've spent together, and it broke his heart a little when he thought of how it had eventually ended up to be.

Daehyun, that little asshole. With his "no, I'll be fine!", and "Guys, please, they're beating me up," later that night. But, on the other hand, not that Jongup had come up with any other plans. And at least this served as an alibi for the fact he didn’t care to get anything ready.

He came back home unusually late and bloody, trying to tiptoe his way to the bathroom in hopes of getting away with he fact he'd been on a murder mission, because you couldn’t find out who he truly was back then. But as he saw your frame curled up on the sofa, he spared it a longer glance, continuing his desired route and doing all the cleaning up before going to look at your sleeping frame just after.

And he felt so guilty when he realized you'd stayed up to wait for him, and simply couldn't do it anymore, falling asleep on spot. And he felt even more guilty when he saw a box in your hands, with "Jongup" written neatly on the label that was stuck to the gift wrapping.

Needless to say, he left. All of this was still so new to him, and he couldn't believe you had actually gotten him a gift and remembered about something such as Christmas as a whole. He felt nothing but pure love overflowing his heart, and a tear or two promised to slide out of the corner of his eye if he wouldn't had turned away immediately. The cons of being emotionally unstable.

He helped you hand the rest of the lights, following around like a lost puppy and staying right behind you, in case when you reached up on your tippy toes you'd stumble, and just because he knew you liked this feeling of being safe. He internally screamed for his mind to shut up and let him live, yet it refused to, reminding him more about all those events.

The slight disappointment in your voice that he heard the next morning when he called you up and told you about sudden work requirements and plans last year rang through his head.

"I won't be back until the start of next week.."

"Ah, it's.. Alright."

Yet he knew it wasn't, because you had no other than him in this world. You knew no one else, because that's the life he had built you. You had no family to go back to. And him being absent at a time like that only made melancholy flow over your heart a thousand times harder than on any other occasion.

He wanted to go back. But he couldn't face you.

"I'm really sorry, babygirl," he wanted to say lies, yet the truth came out immediately, "Can you do it without me for a few days?"

"Yessir," he heard you say in a happier tone, and chuckled lightly at how he'd taught you this phrase B.A.P jokingly used in everyday gang life to make it a little more fun and brighter.

"Alright, take care then. I'll be back in no time," he spilled a few more sweet phrases he'd studied out and ended the call.

"Jongup-ah," he snapped back into reality as he suddenly heard you say, and felt your hand tangling unto his hair.

"What are you doing?"

Only now he found his face nose-deep buried in the soft skin on the crook of your neck, his lips leaving butterfly kisses on the same few comfortable spots he’d learned to love repeatedly.

"I don't know," he felt your nails lightly scratching at his scalp, sending tiny daggers of pleasure down his spine as you ruffled his hair in slow, calming motions. And he wasn't lying this time around either. He really had no clue. He just wanted to love you in any way that wasn't harsh or demanding at that point.

"Stop distracting me-" you were about to say as you turned your head, but he was quicker, capturing your mouth with his in a lazy, sloppy kiss. Your hand untangled from his hair, and, unsure on what to do, you kept your hands unoccupied for a moment, until you felt his own sliding down your sides, gripping on your hips before they landed perfectly on your things, squeezing the soft flesh ever so lightly as your own hands found comfort above his.

"How about we do something special this year?" he asked suddenly, stopping dead in his tracks and keeping his face close.

"I thought you were having none of this Christmas stuff-"

"But you want it," his tone sounded near childish and pouty, and you smiled at how sudden his mood changes could be, "And I still feel bad about last year. I should've been there, taking care of you. Fucking bathing you in all you desire, no matter what it is or what it takes to get it done."

"Aha, and you were at "work" instead," he saw how you highlighted the word "work" in a mocking fashion, making him smirk a little in return.

"Yes, work. Do you think I kill for a hobby?"

"It's still hard for me to believe that you kill at all, and even harder to believe you enjoy it in your little sick mind."

"What can I say?" he tilted his head, landing the longest, sloppiest kiss on your lips yet, "You're in love with a psychopath."

And he later regretted for letting it slide, cursing at his mood changes. It was such an intimate, promising moment where he could truly make you more at ease with your way of living, and he had ruined it with one of his signature phrases. Calling himself a psychopath. How generic, to be honest.

"Plan ahead," he told you in the evening that day, as you were sitting on his shoulders and laughing full-force, placing decorations all over the tree as Jongup said there was no need of having a ladder around when you had him, "And, whatever you want to do, we'll do."

"How generous of you," you chuckled, seeing as he handed you the star to place at the very top of the tree.

"The star? Don't you wanna place that?"

"Eh, I'll pass," he said casually, trying to look up at you from his positions, "I'd rather see my shining star place the actual shining star in it's right place."

And you giggled, you affectionate laugh filling up the room and his heart in the process as well. He held you by your things carefully as you leaned in to place it on the top of the tree, and suddenly you felt his hands travelling up to your waist, gripping on even tighter as he dragged your frame over his head and placed you back on the floor, trying to withstand all the squirming and giggling.

"Hey, don't drop me!!" you laughed, and kept doing so as he dragged you onto the couch by your waist, making you collide on top of him as he lied all sprawled out on his back just like earlier in the day.

"I won't, no worries," his grin was beyond sheepish, but if softened soon.

"Consider. Whatever you want to do, we'll do it."

"Really? From the bottom of your heart?"

"Whatever's left of it, yeah."

"There's a lot, actually," you poked at him, causing him to chuckle, "You're just making up stories to make yourself seem scarier."

"True."

"Absolutely no going out to sort your dirty deeds, understood?" He nodded once, very noticeably and sloppily, causing you to giggle.

"And no leaving me alone," he nodded once again, adding in a "yessir!" just after.

"And no lies," you'd gotten all serious suddenly, and he saw the hurt in your eyes.

"Never again," he reassured, knowing you didn't believe him truly and fully yet. And knowing he had things to prove that he would take care of immediately.

Too bad life had meant it to go down otherwise.

He walked back home, adjusting the scarf to keep his freezing face warm. With a box tucked under his arm, with (Y/N) written on it’s label in his most beautiful handwriting that he didn't know he even possessed. He'd spent ages thinking of what to get you, and he didn't care what he'd get in return. He couldn't possess anything better than this relationship of yours anyways.

It was all going so well, until a black car pulled out of the driveway, and a window was rolled down, revealing a too familiar face to him.

"Get in."

"No," he simply answered, letting a hand run through his hair in the most annoyed way possible.

"Heading home to your family? How unusual for a psychopath like you-"

"Fucking spit it out already. What is it?"

Youngjae really had the nerve to talk to him this way, but as he saw anger arising in the younger's eyes, he knew it had been enough. He didn't want to test his surviving ability against Jongup, after all.

"Oh, you know, nothing. Just out base being demolished at this very moment that I'm talking to you, with only Himchan and Daehyun there to take care of it-"

"Drive," was all Jongup said, calling from the backseat already. The colorful wrapping of the gift caught Youngjae's attention, and he looked at the box that had been carefully placed on the seat next to Jongup's.

"Will your lady wait for you?"

"Can you fucking drive already? Your friends are in death danger, and you're being like this-"

"You're not the one to talk," Youngjae hit the gas pedal suddenly, sending the car off to drive down the streets way over the speed limit.

"Diagnosed psychopath and double betrayer, as well as pathological liar and the bad boyfriend who misses Christmas dinner."

Yup, Jongup was all of those. And he even wondered himself where his sudden outburst of worry came from. Yeah, he did hold Himchan and Daehyun dear, but he never thought he'd be able to.. Worry about them to the extents he did. And actually call them friends.

"You have a lot of it, actually." Maybe he did in fact still possess just as much heart as he used to. He just had a hard time noticing it nowadays, after all the misfortunes that had happened to him in his life.

Two automatics was his cup of tea, and Youngjae thought it was amusing to look at Jongup struggling to load them and meanwhile trying not to squish up the gift he'd gotten you.

What a sight, the cold-blooded killer head-over-heels in love, enough to make him break his head over what to give his lover for Christmas, and worry about it even in a dangerous situation. Youngjae focused back on the road, quietly admitting that he did feel a little jealous after all.

"Tactic?"

"You're the brain, I'm the "everything else"," Jongup hissed, making sure everything was loaded and ready to shoot all that moved, as always, "Think of something, I don't know. You know more than well thinking isn't a strong side of mine."

And with a chuckle, Youngjae laid out a few ideas before driving out into the parking lot that separated them from the base only in a few meters.

"Get to it."

And he did, crashing through the door as if it was a regular day task to break down doors, which, at this point, it already was.

"Thanks for being slow," Himchan punched Youngjae in the guy when he approached, but the latter only chuckled it off.

"No worries. I brought murder machine right there back with me, it's going to be alright now."

Yet they still found it hard to manage though. Who even had the heart to break in at such a time? There was no need to answer. All they had to do was get rid of the other eight that were against them. Four-to-eight, by the way. Isn't that a little unfair?

"Watch out!" Jongup heard, and turned his frame already almost a little too late.

“C'mere,” he was yanked behind a corner by Himchan. A little dizzy, but with all focus still on the view around him, he shook his arm away from Himchan’s grip, but felt the man’s presence still somewhere nearby, no matter where he went or what he did. He had backup.

And a bad mouth, sometimes. Must’ve learned that from Himchan.

“Cut it,” one suddenly called out, yanking Daehyun up by his hair and pointing a gun at him.

“Daehyun-ah, can you stay home the next time around?!” an annoyed Youngjae called out, making him sigh in frustration.

“Oh spare it. If I get shot you won’t have to comment like that on me,” he hissed back, and Jongup smirked, rolling his eyes.

“Should we leave you then?” he tilted his head and smiled, seeing how his eyes widened in shock and disapproval.

“I mean..”

“Look, guys, I love the heartfelt banter, but could you possibly move your-”

“Sure,” without additional ceremonies, Jongup unfroze the scene, putting a bullet into the man’s head with a swift move.

“Get him,” he rolled his eyes as Youngjae rushed past, trying to get a hold of the still-dazed Daehyun who had stopped dead in his tracks despite the resumed gunfire.

“Jongup-ah!” he really considered turning and throwing Himchan a non-approving glance, yet then he felt it. A sharp pain in his right upper arm.

“I told you to watch it,” Himchan hissed again, tugging him along behind another shelter, “"Watch it” doesn’t equal “bleed all over the floor”.“

"Are you too lazy to clean up afterwards?” he joked to mend the pain, but was met with a strictly unimpressed Himchan.

“Because you’re of value, idiot. I worry about all of you always, but you the most. Alongside Daehyun. God, someone teach him what "backup” means.“

He took a moment to process, even though there still were a lot of other things going on, including his new bleeding wound and gunfire. But Himchan’s words had struck something inside of him, and he felt like he needed a moment to think about it.

Since when had he become so attached to B.A.P as a whole anyways?

"Fucking leave already,” Youngjae hissed, putting the last bullet into the last enemy’s head, making everyone sigh in relief as the body dropped to the floor. Taking another look around and figuring all was clear, the four assembled mid-room.

“Anyone hurt?”

“Yeah, look,” Jongup practically poked at Daehyun’s face with his bleeding arm, sending him to turn away in disgust, and flinch as he figured he had some of the blood stuck to his face now.

“Psychopath,” Youngjae muttered, yanking his arm back, “Don’t shove your bloody wounds into other people’s faces.”

“Don’t bite that tongue of yours off in that case, you’re talking too much,” Jongup hissed back before he saw Himchan walking forwards a bit, inspecting the view and then his teammates to tell the further events.

“We can’t leave them here. So if you ask me, then it goes "disposal of the bodies, getting rid of evidence” and then we’re free to go-“

"How late is it?”

All stares were directed at Jongup, as they knew. He was in a hurry.

“Should be around nine. But it will take at least two hours to get done-”

“You’re free to go,” Himchan reassured, throwing the other two who were already pouting a glance.

“Not fair, hyung. Why does he get vacation while we’re cleaning up-”

“Because he’s hurt, that’s the first reason. And the second one is that he has someone to go back to tonight, someone who’s waiting for him. Do you have anyone?”

Silence followed, and only now Jongup understood how truly melancholy-filled the aura was.

“Alone. Yep, me too. So he can go, and we’ll deal with this without-”

“I’m staying,” Jongup said, and as he couldn’t stand the teasing glances anymore, went to already get started.

“Feeling a sense of teamwork and commitment to help out your teammates-”

“I’ll cross you off the friend’s list if you continue,” Jongup answered, and heard Youngjae chuckling lightly. What he didn’t know though is how the other three looked at each other in surprise yet a sense of accomplishment.

“Good to know I’m on there at all. You seemed like someone who the term "friendship” hadn’t ever completely gotten to,” he quietly said, and as he heard no response whatsoever, started moving.

It was close to midnight when he got home.

Youngjae had dropped him off before the staircase, and quietly watched as he climbed out of the car, the same neatly wrapped gift still in his hands.

"Sorry for today,” Youngjae said at last second, actually feeling a bit bad about ruining his evening.

“Did I have a choice?” he sighed, and looked up at his apartment windows.

“Now all I have to do is pray that I’ll be forgiven.”

Turned out he was more than simply forgiven the moment he walked in.

“Jongup-ah!” he heard a frantic voice calling from the room, and as your frame appeared at the end of the hallway, you ran to him, not sparing a second.

“Jongup-ah, where were you!?” he was prepared to hear a scolding, angry tone, but, to his surprise, was met with worry instead.

“I.. Had an encounter..” he tried to say it out, but couldn’t find the right words as he saw your face and your tear-strained cheeks. He’d ruined Christmas again. How nice.

“Ahh, babygirl,” he moved your arm carefully as you had unknowingly pressed right against his injured arm while embracing him, “I got a shot wound there. Don’t press too hard, it hurts.”

And with that, as he held you close, he heard it for the first time since forever. Your cries.

“Babygirl,” he hummed somewhere close to your ear, swinging your frames from side to side, “I’m alright.”

“Why are you like this?” you muttered, repressing little sniffs and sharp inhales here and there, clinging onto him hard, as if he was about to leave and you were doing your best to prevent him from doing so.

“A celebration ruiner?” he chuckled, nuzzling his nose into your hair, “I know I am, and I’m sorry. I know I didn’t keep my promise, and I let you down-”

“No, I mean why do you have to be so reckless to yourself and everyone else?” he found closure at the way you caressed his back, and pinned his forehead against your as you lifted your head.

“Scrap the whole Christmas thing,” you told him, cupping his face, “All I need is you to be alright. And you’re giving me a hard time with guaranteeing that.”

“So you’re not mad?” he questioned, watching in awe as you forgot everything around, including yourself and your plans, to make sure he was alright. If he would’ve told himself two years ago he’d meet someone who would truly care about him, he’d laugh at his face immediately.

“Dinner is re-heatable, you know?” you told him, seeing how his smile unfolded slowly, this time around being a genuine, heartwarming one instead of a smug smirk, “Movies can be watched at any time. We can go out another day, as long as you’re fine, understood?”

He did, and kissed you softly only seconds after that statement, pouring his whole heart into it. A heart that, according to you and his recent deeds, he still possessed no less than he used to long ago.

“Are you bandaged up at least, you idiot?” he chuckled lightly in return, saying a quiet, “Yessir!” and following as you tugged him along by his sleeve, refusing to believe and wanting to make sure he was alright.

Another half an hour spent in a rather playful and atmosphere full of attraction had lead to regular cuddles in the kitchen while waiting for the dinner that you’d been working hard on, making it a way too big one for two people.

“What happened anyways?” you questioned quietly as he had you wrapped up in his arms, his head on your shoulder as he watched you cooking quietly.

“Youngjae hyung just picked me up while I was on my way back home, and casually told me our base was being demolished,” Jongup replied, thinking a little before speaking, “I told him I wouldn’t come along, but then he said Himchan hyung and Daehyun hyung were there, and.. I don’t know. I guess I cared enough to go and help. They are my friends, after all.”

“God, you’re so slow with this,” you chuckled under your breath, catching his attention.

“With what?”

“Showing gratefulness and affection. As well as the fact that you care. You’re so bad with admitting to yourself and showing it that it hurts,” you told, and he fully agreed, without second thought or hesitation. You’d just put into words what he’d been trying to think of how to say, and he knew you were right. You were always right.

“But wait.. What were Himchan and Daehyun doing back there anyways?”

“No clue, to be honest, but they’re usually sticking around for ages before going home-”

“Don’t they have plans for the night?” you asked, getting a light chuckle in response.

“Should they? Babygirl, we’re all scumbags of society without anyone by our sides. I don’t know why or how you willingly decided to stick around with me, a.k.a. bad influence itself, but, you know.. At least I’m not alone tonight.”

And you had to admit your heart clenched at the thought of the other five spending Christmas alone. No one deserved that, not even gang members.

“Hey, are you sad about it?”

“I guess I am,” you told him, smiling at how he noticed your sudden change in mood completely, “I don’t want anyone to feel alone. I bet they do, they just don’t show it.”

“From experience, yes. That’s exactly how it goes,” he said quietly, listening to your further statement with extra care.

“Can we invite everyone over? I know it’s like half past midnight already, but I doubt they’re away or sleeping..”

And he smiled, feeling weirdly satisfied with how this will unfold if successful. His five closest and only friends, and the love of his life. Celebrating a holiday that was supposed to be family time..

He’d lost his actual one, but now he realized that didn’t mean he was alone. He had found a new type of family, since the day he was taken in by Himchan, and since the day he saved you and lied to you afterwards, but got forgiven for his horrible deeds because of how he actually made you fall in love with him.

He wasn’t alone, as these six people were some type of family to him. And only now he figured there was no point in denying it, at least now while his mood hadn’t swung from happy and satisfied to challenged and raged.

“You owe me!” he chuckled as he watched clueless Youngjae, dressed in sweats and an unbuttoned flannel with a shirt underneath opening the door and looking surprised as the first thing you did was accuse him.

“What for?”

“For ruining my evening with Jongup-ah. Now you have to make it up by coming along and having Christmas dinner after 1 AM, because you guys took ages to get done tonight.”

Youngjae looked amused, yet something in his stare told that he didn’t need an extra minute to consider - he was sold by the fact that someone cared enough to drop by his apartment and get him out the house to celebrate the way he hadn’t done in in years.

“I hope your cooking’s good,” he said while already coming along, not bothering to change and just throwing a pair of sneakers and a coat on.

“You’ll love it,” Jongup remarked, and seemingly made Youngjae surprised by his genuine and astonishingly beautiful smile.

“Say, Jongup-ah.. Are you.. Happy?”

“Yeah, believe it or not. Not all of my emotions are broken.”

Himchan looked just as amused yet happy, and Yongguk was awoken from a nap but didn’t seem to mind. Junhong seemed to be the most melancholy-filled out of all when opening the door, yet when he saw you and Jongup, briefly explaining the situation and happily telling him about the plans, he was out the house in a minute. Spending an evening with you and his hyungs in a family-type of atmosphere truly made him happy, since he missed having family around.

“I got him killed almost today, you sure?” Daehyun told you and pointed at Jongup as he chuckled at how you tugged him along to the car.

“And I’ll hog up all of your food, so maybe I shouldn’t-”

“Come on, everyone’s going,” he was surprised to be reassured by Jongup, so he listened twice as carefully, “If you feel guilty for today’s events, don’t. It’s alright. Everyone makes mistakes, and just be happy yours turned out to be fixable.”

And with that, a whole mafia gang and you were gathered up in a single apartment, holiday cheer all around as you tried to recreate festive diner at circa 1 AM.

It was so unusual, yet you found yourself liking it. You looked at their faces - faces that displayed joy and a sense of happiness at they ate and talked, laughed, made jokes and sarcastic commentary that, for once, wasn’t directed at each other.

Youngjae and his loud antics. Daehyun hogging up food to his liking and laughing at every joke possible. Junhong sitting at the end of the table, smiling and chuckling along, and Yongguk and Himchan, not saying much and rather listening to conversation, but feeling happy about it.

And as you looked over at Jongup, you couldn’t help but feel even better.

He was actually smiling and having fun.

Your whole life flashed in front of your eyes, and you realized how your whole life only consisted of around two years, or that’s at least all you could recall. And wherever you went and whatever you did, Jongup had always been by your side.

You’d seen all of him, except that one side that got only exposed this evening - him truly feeling as if he had a family.

You always recalled him being a lone wolf. Someone who, despite having a team, had always rather gone solo. Someone who was never calling any of the other guys friends. Someone who refused to believe the fact he wasn’t alone, and someone who only stayed in a team for convenience.

Yet when he met you his whole world shifted, and, along with it, his perception of the world had to change too.

Now, after you’d long ago found out all about him and who he truly was, you recalled actually seeing him struggle at first. How he first saw you as an experiment. As a form of entertainment for him that he’d keep around for a while just to see how it was. Yet at some point something changed.

Your lack of knowledge and vulnerability after your memory loss had made you sit there alone scared of the whole world. It made you look up to him, as he was all you knew and could clinge on to. And as he saw you wandering after him like a lost and frightened puppy, he recalled. He recalled how it was when he was left alone in this big world with no one there to help or guide him. And through helping you get back on your feet, he discovered how it is.

To care.

It’s been roughly two years since then. Many things have happened in between. You had found out about his lies. He had almost betrayed his team. There were various occasions where it seemed like his whole life was hanging on a line, because no one cared. Because he was left alone after all his bad deeds.

But he always turned around to see backup. He always found himself backed at gunfire, and pulled along into hideout when in great danger. He found himself back in your caring arms after time had passed and you had figured you’d forgive him. And, silently sobbing into your shoulder back then, he tried to wrap his mind around how and why. He hadn’t come back to beg for forgiveness and attention. He hadn’t wandered after you like a lost puppy because now the love you shared had become a regular thing for him, and he felt as if he was crumbling without it. You showed up yourself, telling him it was fine. Telling you’d stick around.

And he suddenly found out he cared about all. About the guys and about you, because you had become like a second family to him. A family he was once cold-bloodedly robbed of, and a family he missed dearly.

“I got you something,” he whispered into your ear after you’d escorted everyone to the door that night, seeing as they left in a surprisingly happy state.

“What a coincidence. I got you something too,” you smiled, and felt excitement coursing through your veins as he led you off into the living room.

“Sit,” he instructed as he pushed you into sitting position on the couch, and you chuckled at his walking away to get the now already infamous neatly-wrapped box he’d been keeping good track of forever now. You quickly went to grab yours, which wasn’t that far away anyways, and as he came back and smiled at you, you moved to let him sit next to you.

His constant smiling state was also a relatively new view for you, but you figured you liked it, as his smile was really the prettiest thing you’d seen. Maybe because you knew those smiles came from the heart nowadays- that’s why they looked so genuinely beautiful.

You carefully exchanged boxes, and your fingers traced over the wrapping. You recalled last year, when you had waited for him and he’d never showed up. Now was such a big step from then, and you couldn’t be happier.

It was a framed map, and he saw you examining it with extra care, just like he examined the photo album you’d gotten him.

You thought your idea had been special. You’d made a whole album of your pictures, with commentary and loving remarks attached to them, but as you traced your fingers over the street and building names alongside the traced path on the map, you felt like he’d done so much better than you have at thinking of a gift.

The thin red line started at an alleyway called “Encounter”, and you didn’t need another reminder on how you’d gotten in the way of two gangs sorting their things back then, and how he had that smug smile plastered across his face, keeping you safe just for fun for a bit before losing track and afterwards finding you unconscious, with all the loved ones you were going with that night no longer alive after this mess of a fight.

The next dotted spot was simply titled “Hospital”, where you recalled seeing him for the first time. With no memory left whatsoever, you were easily convinced he’d in fact been your boyfriend for a few years already. And the lost, cute looks, plus his model getup with the unbuttoned flannel only made you actually like him more.

The line went alongside many streets that had event names written on them.

“Not letting me sleep on the couch,” for when he insisted he could if you weren’t comfortable, but you told him to stay in bed with you so he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable the next morning, because his old could really was uncomfortable. “Asking about my tattoos,” was also somewhere there, and you recalled tracing your hands over his at some point and asking him where those came from and what they meant, not realizing how your touch - the first one ever on such a personal level - had really thrown him off-track.

A bunch of streets and alleyways followed, all of the titles referring to events. “Counter kiss,” for the first time you kissed, and “4th August. I see you walking around in my shirt for the first time,” for when you thought you’d die of embarrassment from your getup as he suddenly barged in, but he seemed to like it. “Rooftop,” for that one conversation you had, where he told you how he didn’t care if you’d ever recall anything, and would love you nonetheless.

Yet there were many more streets, regarding the bad and his feelings.

“Undeserved lies” was one, “Betrayal of B.A.P” was another that you’d heard about. “You finding out the truth” and “Leaving”, followed by “Getting saved”.

“Me hating myself”, “Me realizing I don’t deserve you at all, and have to stay away”. “Me wanting you to have a good life, and leaving you to decide on if you’d ever want to return.”

“Me realizing I love you.”

You didn’t realize you were quietly sobbing until he pulled you into his arms, and you rested back against his frame, his head landing on your shoulder.

His hand slid on top of yours, and he traced further down the line. “You coming back”, “Me attempting to get lie-free”. “Moving in together”, “Me sneaking out at night to do missions even though you told me not to”, “But I had go, because I couldn’t leave B.A.P hanging”, “And I always confessed, and you always forgave”.

“Us spending our first Christmas together, and me once again asking for forgiveness.”

“Why the forgiveness?” you questioned with a chuckle, finding comfort in the warmth his frame radiates.

“Because even though I cut back on lying, there are still many ways I’ve been unfair to you in. And I want to be forgiven for all,” he quietly said, and you only nodded in return, tangling your fingers in his hair reassuringly and telling him he would always be forgiven. 

Because he was missing screws. And you apparently were too, because you somehow fell in love with him. And for two insane people, this was alright.

“You made my gift seem lame now,” you laughed as he chuckled along as well.

“I don’t think it’s lame.”

“How come?”

“I cam actually be seen doing normal and good deeds here. Should bring this over to show Youngjae so he’d maybe consider stop calling me "murder machine”. After seeing this, I feel like I am so much more. Like I’m normal once again, and am capable of doing good as well.“

"You’re not bad, Jongup-ah,” you told him, turning until you could peck his lips, “You’re not bad at all. You’re just unfortunate.”

“Unfortunate?”

“And stubborn. And a former liar. And a feeler beyond a thinker,” you chuckled against his lips, “But that’s not the point. The point is you’d had reasons. And I refuse believing you’re bad influence on it’s own. You’d only been fighting for your own life and rights. And mine, and B.A.P’s too. Because if we stick together, everything..”

“Everything suddenly matters,” he finished, allowing himself to place another more direct and less subtle kiss on your lips.

“Aah, babygirl,” he winced a little as you’d pressed against his wounded arm a little too hard, “The wound. Remember.”

“I’m sorry,” you cooed immediately after getting at an appropriate distance from it, “Let’s go take a look at it actually. You might need re-bandaging.”

And with your hand in his, he let himself be lead by you, away to get his bloody bandages replaced and his newly acquired scars and wounds wiped.

Away into a safe zone only he possessed in this world. Away to his place of safety and comfort, that lied in the way you always had his well-being at the back of your mind.

Away to get taken care of. Because you cared about him no less than he cared about you.

[coffee-for-himchan]

Just Kiss Already (Jongup x reader)

Requested by: a lovely anon

Word count: 5.1 k+

Genre/warnings: fluff ❤

Summary: Who knew that upon meeting your best friend Youngjae’s bandmates, Jongup would catch your eye to such extents you wouldn’t be able to think about anything else properly anymore? And who knew you’d do the same to him? Completely shy and oblivious to his feelings, you beg Youngjae to set you two up, only to be surprised by the further events involving nagging mom Himchan, a very awkward car drive and hilariously poorly(or maybe well)-timed confessions. Oh God, the shyness and oblivion was real, but so was the attraction, which is all that mattered.

“What if they won’t like me?”

Youngjae glanced at you in amusement, but understood where your worries were coming from. After all, being introduced to a whole idol group and having to spend the whole evening with them afterwards was quite burdening. Especially when one of the six idols was already a best friend of yours and you had to leave a good first impression to the other five.

“Then it’s the end,” Youngjae carelessly threw out, motioning for you to come along as he went up the staircase to their dorm, “We can’t be friends anymore if they don’t like you, because they can’t possibly think that I hang out with uncool people, understood?”

When he heard no quiet “yessir!” and no noises of approval, his smile died down a little and he turned to face you. Standing in the middle of the stairs, you looked like you were about to either cry or run away. Youngjae’s reaction about your nervousness and slight anxiety had turned from amusement to worry, and he went a few steps down, facing you.

“I’m kidding, I hope you know that,” he said, looking into your eyes and pinching your cheek a second later, “You’re soooooo cute, they’re gonna like you, no matter what. Got it?”

Slowly but steadily, you took a step forwards alongside with him, and with a few more encouraging words resumed walking completely.

“You really have nothing to worry about,” Youngjae did his best to try and sound convincing, “Yongguk hyung is going to be somewhere around, but you literally won’t even catch a proper glance of him. He’s just gonna come over and say hi, and then hide away in some room with the blinds closed and the door shut, making Himchan go check on him every once in a while to see if he’s not dead or something. Himchan hyung’s gonna be all about the cooking tonight, so just expect endless babbling from him when you enter the kitchen. Tip - saying something nice about his dish will brighten his mood like five times.”

You were already chuckling at this point, and Youngjae knew he’d done right.

“Daehyun-ah is just gonna be very loud, that’s a trigger warning for ya. Laugh at his jokes and you’ll be fine. Junhong-ah is a kind tall giant and there’s literally no warnings for him. You know how to ride a skateboard, right? Let that slip in a sentence and conversation’s going to flow like a waterfall. As for Jongup..”

“.. Hell knows what he’ll be up to. Or what you have to do to leave a good first impression. Just, I don’t know.. Be yourself. And don’t be taken aback by his weirdness. He can sometimes be lost in his own tracks.”

B.A.P had just recently moved from their old dorm into a new one, and despite not living at the dorm anymore, Yongguk, Daehyun and Junhong came along to this little celebration dinner of finally having everything set up there that the other three had planned. You felt a little awkward for crashing their little party like that, but Youngjae reassured you it was fine. After all, he’d told them you’d come beforehand and they didn’t mind at all. In fact, they were eager to meet you, or so Youngjae had said at least.

A nice smell coming from the kitchen was the first thing that you felt upon entering the apartment, and next thing you knew there were two little, cute dogs at your feet, wanting to properly greet you and get to know you.

“So Mochii and Tigger were invited too?” Youngjae called out, chuckling as he earned a “yeah, I mean, why not?” from Junhong who was seemingly somewhere in the living room.

“Jae, you should’ve told me there would be dogs,” you told him playfully, “I would’ve came over without hesitation and thinking twice.”

“Same. Where there’s dogs, there’s me,” a voice called from in front of you, and upon lifting your head up, you noticed Junhong had jogged over to properly meet you and introduce himself, even though you already knew who he was.

It all went relatively smoothly from then on, and with Youngjae’s little but useful advice, you managed to get along with everyone more or less quickly. Yongguk was present in the main room, though mostly on his computer or caught up in his thoughts, and Himchan was being a master chef in the kitchen, having just enough time to introduce himself and smile proudly after hearing your comment about the nice smell coming from whatever he was cooking. You figured how Dae paired up with Jae was a combo that could only be considered a complete screaming and teasing mess, but hey, it was fun to watch, at least. And Junhong was the one who engaged into conversation with you for most of the time, playing around with Mochii and occasionally Tigger as well meanwhile.

“Hey, (Y/N), can you go and ask Himchan real quick when he’ll be done?” Youngjae called out, making you nod in response, “I’m starving and he’s taking so long.”

“How dare you order girls around just because you’re too lazy to go and ask yourself,” Daehyun laughed out, about to get up and go ask on his own.

“No, it’s fine. I’ve known him for so absurdly long that I’m already used to it,” you laughed with him, and left the room to go and investigate.

Just to bump into someone in the hallway.

“Oh, I’m sorry.. Noona?”

Jongup. You hadn’t even noticed how he was missing in the environment, since you’d been so busy trying to come off as nice and cool to the others. But now when he stood there in front of you awkwardly, having bumped into you as he exited his room, you were completely nervous. This wasn’t a good start, was it?

“Not a noona, I guess at least,” you corrected quietly as you weren’t really sure about the age difference between you two, making him crack a smile and feel less awkward about the situation.

“I’m (Y/N), Youngjae’s friend.”

“Oh yeah, I remember he said he’d have someone coming along with him today.”

Silence hung over the two of you, and you couldn’t help but stare at the floor in embarrassment. There was something about him that had sparked a different type of reaction in you than the others had, and you simply couldn’t wrap your head around it.

Was it because he was so awkwardly cute? Because you definitely felt like you wanted to get to know him better? And if he’d still be just as interesting to you, maybe plan for something bigger ahead..? 

Way to start off a meeting. You’d met him less than a minute ago and were already planning for the future. Good, right?

“I’m Jongup.”

“I know,” you chuckled a little as he scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. Of course you knew, how could he think you didn’t.

“Well.. Welcome then. Try to tolerate us as good as possible,” he smiled at you shyly, feeling the need to do something, but not knowing what.

“A handshake’s too formal, let’s just hug already,” he quickly and quietly blurted out and before you could react, wrapped his arms around you to give you a nice, little welcoming hug. You were barely able to react when he was already off to the living room, leaving you to stand alone in the hallway.

Why was he so cute?

Himchan was in fact almost ready, and soon everyone was gathered to have dinner. It definitely was something, as all the food tasted very nice. Sitting in between Youngjae and Daehyun, you couldn’t help but stare at Jongup who was in front of you, smiling shyly every time your eyes accidentally met.

Being on the edge of blushing was exactly how you felt for this whole evening, and after the goodbyes had been said and you and Youngjae were walking down the staircase since he had promised to drive you home, there was still only one person occupying your mind.

Jongup.

“Say, were my eyes tricking me or were you actually staring at one particular person this whole evening?” Youngjae teased as he drove down the street.

“Youngjae-ah, why the hell didn’t you tell me he was like this?” you basically squeaked, making him let out a laugh and raise a brow in surprise.

“What is it about Jongup that left you so mesmerized?”

“He’s so cute,” you mumbled, causing Youngjae to laugh a little, “And with so cute I mean so cute I can’t handle it. Youngjae-ah, he’s awkward and shy and he doesn’t know how to get his point across sometimes because he’s nervous, just to be a complete savage the next time around, and-”

“Okay, okay, I get it. It’s not like you weren’t drooling all over the place already when we watched his live stage together back then. I figured you had a thing for him,” he laughed, making you blush a little. But Youngjae was a friend who you could have these talks with. And you didn’t hesitate to be bold in your desires.

“Youngjae-ah, you’ll need to help me.”

“Help you with what?”

“I need him to like me back-”

“Wow wow, hold on. So basically you’d just met him today in person for the first time, and you’re already saying you like him in full seriousness?”

A little silence followed, with an ashamed “y-yes” right after.

“That sure escalated quickly-”

“Look, are you on my side or what??”

He laughed even more, making you feel a mixture of amusement and frustration.

“Oh, should I be?”

“Yes!! You have to be on my side, and you have to help me, because Jongup is cute and he’s quite cool and I really like him and I want to get to know him and-”

“Okay, okay, stop babbling,” he cut you off, stopping at a red light and facing you, “I got it. Jongup’s cute. Cuter than Mochii and Tigger together. He’s the best. He’s so awkwardly cute it breaks your heart, and-”

“I’ll hit you if you continue-”

“And I should help you or you’re never going to let me live in peace ever again, right?” he said, seeing you frantically nodding.

“Okay, wish granted in that case. Call me Cupid from now on,” he said, making you relax in your seat and stare out of the window. Were you acting stupid? Definitely. But Jongup had just sparked a feeling of desire in you from the very first encounter, and you wanted to get to know him properly. Oh, and leave him wanting another meeting with you, causing him to feel the same type of emotions.

You felt quite awkward and embarrassed the following days, but despite all of that Youngjae had seemingly gotten invested into his new position as “Cupid”. He took it in full seriousness, and had already made various plans to set you two up, all of them hilariously absurd and stupid.

“And what if, like, you suddenly trip and then, like, accidentally knock him to the ground with you?”

“Youngjae-ah, are you stupid or what-”

“And then like do it so he accidentally kisses you in the process too-”

“YOUNGJAE-AH, stop it, I-”

“But like, react shocked. Don’t be all over him in seconds, clinging and basically screaming “oh yes, Jongup-ah, yes, take me,” and-”

“HAJIMA, YOUNGJAE, HAJIMA.”

Despite his rather hilariously stupid behavior, Youngjae was a big help with dealing with your crush. He’d made various plans for how to possibly get you two into conversation, but what pained you the most was that most of those involved some type of lies.

Tell him you’re that, or say you have this and that and can do all of those different cool things. You couldn’t say that, because in reality you possessed none of it, and you wanted him to like you for who you were. For the same reasons you liked him - you wanted him to like you for your personality, talents and behavior. So while Youngjae made up different rather stupid and unrealistic plans, you simply sat there and thought about it.

What did you have to offer?

You were invited over on various occasions from now on, no matter where the guys were - in the practice rooms or at the dorm, hell, maybe even somewhere at the studio or on the streets mid-schedules to get lunch or something. And it was always a three-piece type of thing, with only Youngjae and Jongup involved while you seemingly tagged along.

“He’s suddenly so nice to me, I don’t know what hit him,” Jongup had told you once, making you chuckle because oh boy, he sure knew nothing about what was going on. And, to be honest, you hoped he’d never find out - it indeed was quite embarrassing.

It would sometimes go to absurd extents. Youngjae would leave you two alone in situations where you simply wouldn’t be able to sit in silence, and sometimes would excuse himself to go away at the most random times, telling you two he had things of first importance to do. Jongup never seemed to mind though, and it even surprised you. He’d just softly smile at you, and tell you he was sorry you were stuck with only him from then on.

“Why are you sorry though?” you asked him, eyeing him up and down in confusion as he seemed to be a little embarrassed.

“I mean, you probably wanted to hang out with Youngjae.. I don’t even know if you don’t mind the fact he’s always taking me along nowadays.. And now he’s away and you’re stuck with just me again.”

“Are you serious?” his head shot up at the sentence, and once again he’d left your heart beating a little faster. He was so perfect, yet so shy and unsure about himself and his personality. Like a lost puppy, and that made you love him even more.

“Jongup, I really like hanging out with you, actually,” you said, hoping it wouldn’t sound that bold and would come out rather friendly, “And I’m glad you’re always tagging along.”

“Youngjae’s a bit of a pain in the ass to be honest, don’t you agree?” you said and heard a little, heartfelt laugh escape him, making your heart flutter at the sound of it. Despite always chuckling, an audible laugh rarely escaped him, and the rare, unusual sound immediately got caught up in your ears and your heart.

“He’s got no chill. And he never stops screaming. So let’s just enjoy some solitude together while he’s away, that is, if you don’t mind..”

“Not at all,” he was smiling sheepishly, with half-closed eyes, “In fact, I don’t mind him being gone. I like spending time with you.”

* * * * *

“YOUNGJAE-AH!!”

“Wow, stop screaming already,” he told you once he picked up the phone that evening, making sure to lock the door to his room so no one would walk in or hear your conversation.

“I could always say the same to you-”

“C'mon, spill it out already,” he was sitting on the edge of his bed, and suddenly felt like a schoolgirl for acting this way. Eager to know some romance-related gossip from his best friend.

“He likes spending time with me, Youngjae-ah! Do you hear?” you basically squealed as your giggles filled the room.

“You’re acting like a teenager again, c'mon, get it together-”

“Oh shut it, what do you know,” your voice sounded a mix of happy and dreamy, and to be completely honest, he liked hearing you sound like this. You were happy, and that was the main thing.

“I know a few more different plans to get you two together,” he announced, and started talking, despite your groans of disagreement.

Meanwhile Himchan was just minding his own business in his room, casually listening to music and browsing through Instagram, when the door creaked open and the shadow of a familiar silhouette peaked through the doorway.

“Jongup-ah. What’s up?”

“Himchan hyung, I need advice,” he simply said, and upon getting a nod that he could walk in and make himself comfortable on the bed, he simply started talking without any ceremonies, getting straight to the point.

“I like (Y/N).”

“Congrats, I guess?” Himchan simply answered, not taken aback by the statement at all as for him, it had been bloody obvious all along, “So what am I supposed to give you advice for now?”

“How do I make her like me back?”

He wasn’t an expert, but Jongup knew he could be the most romantic and thoughtful of all when it came to talking to girls, so he decided to ask Himchan over anyone else.

“Why are you coming to me though? You should go and ask Youngjae, he’s her best friend after all-”

“But Youngjae hyung will just tease me and ruin everything. Not to be mean, but I’m like a 100% sure that’s how it will go.”

“Jongup-ah, I don’t know what to tell you..” Himchan trailed off just to be met with Jongup giving him puppy eyes, begging him for any type help or advice.

“Oh God, if this was for anyone else, I swear..” he saw Jongup smile in return, and smiled himself.

“I just recalled a situation from a year ago when I met a girl that had sparked an interest in me. I waited for too long, and she found another,” Himchan trailed off, but collected himself before Jongup could say anything comforting, “Anyways, don’t make the same mistake. We’ll think of something.”

Jongup wandered back to his room, lying down on the bed and staring at the ceiling. He was convinced he’d never met another that resembled you, or at least no girl had ever occupied his mind to such extents. You had the prettiest smile, the cutest laugh and the most open and beautiful personality he’d ever seen. And he suddenly found himself thinking about you late in the evenings, wishing you’d be there with him to help him fall asleep.

It was a particular Wednesday when everything went down. Went down swinging, and in a more awkwardly hilarious fashion you’d ever expected.

“C'mon, we’re waiting!!” Youngjae exclaimed when he noticed Jongup leaving the building. You both were sitting in his car and waiting for him to come join the two of you. You were in the passenger’s seat, smiling widely until you noticed another figure leaving the building and following Jongup closely. Himchan.

“Hyung, what are you doing here?” Youngjae asked in an a little irritated tone as he approached with Jongup, smiling innocently and sheepishly.

“I need your help.”

“Make it quick, in that case. We’re leaving soon-”

“Wow, how rude. Have some respect.”

“Okay, okay, hyung. Just what exactly do you need?”

“Come along. It won’t take long.”

With grumpy, sarcastic remarks thrown all around the place, Youngjae got out of the car and followed Himchan back to the studio building while Jongup quietly got into the backseat, lovingly greeting you right as he climbed into the car. Even he was clueless on Himchan’s plans, but he figured he just had to trust him.

“Okay, spill it, hyung. What is it that you want me to do in order to let us live in peace and without disturbance?” Youngjae spat as Himchan took him by the arm and pulled him along.

“You know, I’ve left quite a few instruments here over the time, and I need them back at the dorm now. There’s two guitars, and the janggu, and-”

“Stop right there. Do you want me to drive you and your instruments back to the dorm now?” Youngjae laughed out loud, “My car trunk’s full, and we can’t really get all of that in the backseats and still have four of us in the car at the same time, so sorry, hyung… Wait a minute.. Why don’t you use your own car anyways!?”

Himchan only smiled sheepishly in return, which made Youngjae let out a shaky, irritated breath.

“Look, I don’t have time for this,” he said, deciding it would be best to spill, “I’m on a “get-Jongup-and-(Y/N)-together” mission, and we have to leave now. So why don’t you bother someone else-”

“What a coincidence. Looks like we’re on the same mission,” Himchan said, folding him arms and making Youngjae gasp in surprise before laughing out.

“So he likes her.”

“He won’t shut up about her.”

“Wow, same here. My ears already hurt from all of the lovey-dovey confessions-”

“In that case, just do as told to finally make those two confess. And trust me,” Himchan said, having a rather good idea in mind, “We could get this sorted even today if we tried properly-”

“But let’s tease the hell out of them first! Oh, please!!”

“Fine,” Himchan rolled his eyes, walking further down the hall with Youngjae who was now bouncing at every step he took, all happy and energized once again.

You were more than convinced conversation with Jonghp had become rather awkward over the past time, since you couldn’t even look at him without blushing anymore. But as Youngjae and Himchan came back with a bunch of instruments in hand, you were more puzzled than embarrassed.

Filling the backseats of the car up with the instruments, because according to Youngjae his trunk was already full, there was mild confusion on what to do now. Jongup was sitting at the back, with no space for another person next to him whatsoever, and Youngjae was behind the steering wheel.

“Hey, Jongup-ah,” Himchan called out as he opened the passenger’s door up, leaving you puzzled beyond belief, “Do you mind letting (Y/N) sit in your lap until we get all of this back to the dorms? There’s simply not enough room in the car, and I doubt you’d want to let me sit in your lap instead.”

“Um, e-excuse me?” you quietly yelped, looking up at Himchan who didn’t seem to spare you a single glance. You didn’t even know what to do anymore. Should you be happy, or should you run away in shame and embarrassment? You didn’t have the time to think, as Jongup spoke shyly from the backseat.

“I mean, I-I don’t m-mind..”

Way to make it awkward, but you had nothing other left than to obey. Upon opening up the door on Jongup’s side, he looked up at you and smiled shyly, making your heart burst from how cute and awkwardly lost he seemed.

“Move it, (Y/N), c'mon. We don’t have the whole day ahead of us,” Youngjae called, and before you could react, a hand was gently placed on your wrist, tugging you a little to come forwards.

“It’s alright, (Y/N). I don’t mind,” Jongup said quietly, and you carefully got into his lap, closing the door and yelping a little as Youngjae started driving rather harshly.

He did it on purpose, you were more than certain, as you couldn’t recall him being a this bad driver - taking sharp turns, stopping abruptly and speeding up the vehicle without any previous warnings. But it made Jongup wrap both of his arms tightly around you and hold you close, just so you wouldn’t smash your heard somewhere.

“I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable,” he quietly said just for you to hear, and only now you realized how stiff and numb you’d been this whole time, sitting up straight with your body as far as possible from his.

“No, no, it’s alright,” you reassured him, trying to somehow seem a little less stiff.

“It just doesn’t seem like it. You know, you can, like.. Lean back if you want to. It will be much more comfortable,” he quietly said, and you decided to obey. Slowly sinking back, you found yourself fully leaning against chest, with his head resting on your shoulder.

“See? I think this is better,” he told you shyly, making you chuckle.

“Maybe it really is… ”

You’d gotten so used to the position what when Youngjae stopped his car in front of their apartment complex you cursed a little. Taking out all the instruments, him and Himchan promised to be back in a minute and headed to the staircase.

“Too bad,” you chuckled, about to slide out of his grip, “I was quite comfortable.”

“Then stay here,” Jongup blurted out, making you freeze on spot.

“A-are you sure?” you threw him a glance, earning a cheeky grin.

“Yup.”

Youngjae and Himchan got in the car, and seemingly didn’t mind the sight in the backseat at all. The decision to drive off to get some food was made rather quickly, and you even let Youngjae pick the place. After all, you didn’t quite care anymore, did you?

Getting out of the vehicle was rather displeasing to you, but as you headed to the entrance of the cafe Youngjae had chosen, Jongup managed to quickly blurt out “I don’t mind if there’ll be only three free seats in the cafe either” before leaving rather shyly to go and discuss something of first importance with Himchan.

There were four seats though, and you felt a little releaved when you sat across Jongup and next to Youngjae, ordering some food and throwing jokes around until the next move from both masterminds was pulled.

“Where are you going?” Jongup asked quietly as they both stood up, leaving.

“Oh, we’ll be back soon. I feel like I left the lights on in the apartment, so we’ll just go and check real quick.”

They headed out, leaving you two alone to mind your own business.

“That’s not the actual reason they left, is it?”

“I doubt it is. It’s daytime. Why would they even need to turn on the lights in the first place?”

“What’s up with those two!?”

Despite everything they said they’d do, they simply sat in the car and waited for further events.

“Okay, so you just left them to eat together. What now, commander?” Youngjae asked rather harshly, knowing he had no ideas left himself, but being aware they needed something better than that to make it work.

“I’ve got another idea up my sleeve. But don’t call me stupid.”

Oh, Youngjae indeed was about to call him stupid when they stood in front of the roller skating rink, but all doubts and mean comments vanished when he realized what all of this was about. You couldn’t roller skate. And neither could Jongup.

“Youngjae-ah, help me!” You cried out and laughed as you tried to skate, but found the floor to be too slippery to properly do so.

“You’re too slow for me,” he said, skating past, “But looks like Jongup’s having trouble. Maybe you can go and fall together, and stop bothering me.”

Hell, even if you didn’t want to you were still made to do it, being constantly pushed into each other’s arms by Himchan and Youngjae. What seemed awkward at first soon felt appropriate, and at some point he even shamelessly got a hold of your hand, telling you he thought he’d gotten a grip on it and pulling you along, making you feel at least halfways stable on those damn roller blades.

Despite everything, you had to admit it was more than simply fun. There wasn’t anything that indicated Jongup wanting to let go of you, as he constantly kept finding excuses to get a hold of you. You fell? Oh, he had to hold your hand from now on so you wouldn’t fall again. You were bored of simply skating around? He tried to spin you around, just to get a hold of you and wrap his arms around you afterwards, chuckling right into your ear happily as you did the same. It was like you’d found a little piece of heaved, and you never wanted to leave or let go.

It was already evening and it was quite dark when you exited from the skating rink, laughs filling up the air at Jongup’s sudden savageness towards Youngjae. His arm was loosely thrown around your shoulder, and you had to admit you’d never felt this comfortable. And you’d never felt like he could have a thing for you, but after all of today’s events you thought it was more than simply possible.

The last drop needed was Himchan’s little bump into you that made you stumble to Jongup’s side, causing him to put his free hand on your side and hold you close. All attention was suddenly on both of you, and at any other point you would’ve been simply embarrassed, and would’ve scurried away as soon as possible. But things had changed along the line, and you felt like staying in his grip for a little longer.

The car ride came first. After all, he could’ve told you to get off, but he didn’t - he told you to stay. Then the cafe when you simply had fun one-on-one time, laughing and joking around cutely and silently thanking that you were left alone. And everything that followed - the roller skating, and your constant clinging at each other. Plus, the sentences that had escaped him all through the day sounded oh so genuine and loving you couldn’t not believe them.

“You are so pretty, (Y/N).”

“I’m glad they left, I like being alone with you.”

“Do you mind if I hold your hand? I just want to make sure you won’t fall, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Hell, you couldn’t take it anymore. It all seemed like a bunch of green lights to you, and to him as well. It was a moment when everyone had suddenly understood what had happened, without any previous warnings.

“Are you and Youngjae on the same team?” You simply asked Himchan, receiving an approving nod.

“What a plot twist, right?”

“I mean, if you ask me it was pretty obvious from the start,” Youngjae said, earning an immediate glare from Himchan.

“Pretty obvious!? You didn’t even figure it out yourself until I told you! Yah, the things I do for Jongup-ah. I even put up with your annoying existence for the whole day just to try and get him and the girl of his dreams together-”

“Ahh, so you’re the one with issues here, yeah? Don’t think I’d be alright with listening to your nagging without a single comeback for the whole day if it wasn’t for my best friend (Y/N) over here who’s been talking about nothing but Jongup ever since she first met him. God, I wanted them to be together so we could talk about something normal once again.”

“Do you hear guys? Just kiss already-” Himchan and Youngjae turned to face you both, stopping mid-sentence after realizing it wasn’t necessary anymore.

You were doing it already anyways.

“Take a picture.”

“Working on it already.”

Yeah, they were babbling about something in the background, but who cared? You didn’t, and either did Jongup. As soon as the first words about the plot twist left Himchan’s lips and he turned to playfully argue with Youngjae, you both were left chuckling at your own childishness, oblivion and stupidity.

“You really asked Youngjae?”

“Well, you asked Himchan…”

But nothing really mattered, including the people you’d asked to help you out. It felt like only the two of your were left on this planet, and he didn’t hesitate to let you know how he truly felt about you, putting a hand on your cheek and tugging your face closer to his.

“Guys, ew,” Youngjae exclaimed as you pulled away, making both of you start giggling right at each other’s faces.

“Look at them, all happy and giggly. And kissy and cuddly and everything. Just ew,” he continued, just to get slapped in the arm by Himchan.

“Wasn’t this the main objective!?”

“I thought it was, yeah, but now that I think of it the thought of them being together just seems weird.”

“Oh, shut it, too late,” you said just to be shut up yourself by another kiss, one that you didn’t anticipate in the lest, yet returned fully, smiling happily all through it as you felt like you’d just won the lottery.

It was a long evening of “omg”, “stop it”, “ew, gross” and thousands of other different phrases and remarks by Youngjae-yours-truly as Himchan tried to get him away from both of you to leave you to live in peace. But nothing really mattered anyways, as at the end of the day you’d gotten just what you’d been wanting the most in the past time, and Jongup got what he’d desired too.

Sitting in the backseat of the car as you were driven back home, you couldn’t help but lean your head on Jongup’s shoulder, just to earn a soft, little kiss to your temple.

“I thought I was stupid, but you’re just as dumb as me,” you chuckled, making him laugh as well.

“Let’s be dumb and dumber together then, in that case.”

“Is this your way of asking me out?”

“Well, would that work?”

“Moon Jongup, do you really think it wouldn’t at this point?”

And the rest was history. A history full of an awkwardly cute relationship accompanied by the never ending “ew, guys, stop it” by Youngjae and the punches to Youngjae’s arm or gut for saying such remarks by Himchan. Nothing ever changed, and that was by far the best about the whole situation. You’d always love Jongup, and he’d always love you. And you’d forever continue being awkwardly cute together.

[coffee-for-himchan]

Polaroids (Jongup x reader)

Word count: 3.8 k+

Genre/warnings: fluff ❤

Summary: You weren’t really sure when or how this happened, but Jongup had somehow gotten his hands on a polaroid camera. It would have been quite cute and stuff if his newfound hobby didn’t involve taking pictures of you everywhere and without exception, but only when you weren’t looking. The few times that you did notice you tried to confront him, but he always managed to avoid any questions or punishments. It wasn’t until much later when he revealed you his heartwarming surprise!

(IMPORTANT A/N) Well, more or less important. I don’t really know why, and I’m not sure if anyone else calls him this way, but I’ve started calling Jongup just Yup for short (’cause it sounds kinda cute imo).Thought I’d clarify that before the actual scenario begins, as that nickname will be used. A lot.

You were just casually minding your own business, eating some chips as you were watching an old movie, when you suddenly heard a little, quiet “click”. Turning your head to the source of the sound, you found out it was no other than Jongup, standing in the doorway with a polaroid camera in his hands and smiling sheepishly. Not that you’d expected anything or anyone else. “Yup, again?” you asked him, tilting your head a little and furrowing your brows as he simply nodded. You weren’t really sure how, but Jongup’s recently gotten his hands on a polaroid camera. At first he bugged you to take a few aesthetic pictures together with him, and you did, laughing loud and smiling bright as you both pulled ridiculous faces and poses while taking photos. His polaroid adventures seemed to end at your couple pictures that were now framed up and nicely put on your bedroom wall, or so you thought, as he hadn’t touched the camera after taking those pictures in the next few days. Turns out you were wrong. One day you were casually cooking in the kitchen, trying out a new recipe just because you’d suddenly felt the desire to learn something new. Midways through cooking, you heard a tiny “click” coming from across the room. You looked up just to see Jongup standing there, polaroid camera aimed directly at you.    “Yup.. What are you doing?” you asked him, blushing slightly. The thought of you looking ridiculous in that picture came across your mind, and you winced a little, wanting to be sure you looked alright. Otherwise you just wanted to snap it out of Jongup’s hands and rip it apart so he wouldn’t see an ugly angle of you that he maybe hasn’t seen yet. “Taking a picture, isn’t it obvious?” Jongup said, snapping you back to reality from your thoughts. You had to admit, sometimes his straight-forward and innocently savage behavior irritated you, because he always seemingly answered your questions, but you still had no clue about what was going on. “Can you warn me the next time you snap a photo at least? I probably look ugly in this one,” you were back and chopping up vegetables, but your eyes were still focused on Jongup, as he stood there, calmly waving the picture back and forth and waiting for it to fully develop. “Naah, I’ve seen worse angles of you,” he casually told you as he studied the picture, and made you jump slightly at the remark. Jongup just… often had a bad, or maybe rather unlucky way of wording things properly. “Hey, (Y/N)…” he trailed off as he saw your face that displayed a little bit of hidden hurt. You didn’t answer, instead fully focusing on the chopping board, and he immediately knew he did wrong. “Not that any of your angles are bad..” he told you as he placed the camera on the kitchen counter and made his way around it. Jongup’s arm wrapped around you from behind and he leaned his head on your shoulder, showing you the picture that he held in the other hand. You stopped the chopping for a little and looked at it. “See? Beautiful, as always. You gotta understand when I’m kidding and when I’m not,” he told you and pressed a warm, loving kiss on your cheek, soon leaving your side and the room, with the camera back in one of his hands and the photo in the other. You sighed in relief after seeing that you looked not only alright, but even kinda cute in that picture, but were still, for some reason, a little sad about Jongup’s first initial reaction to your statement. He knew he had done wrong, and that evening he made sure to shower you with less straight-forward, tiny compliments here and there, and cuddles and kisses on top of that afterwards. Now he was back with the camera, doing the same as he always did when you caught him taking pictures of you. He stood there, his perfect frame highlighted from the light that was creeping it’s way from the hallway right into the dark living room. His hand calmly moved back and forth, waving the picture, and his eyes shot it a curious glance every few seconds, as he was quite impatient to see the result.  You didn’t get it at all, just like many other questionable things Jongup did every now and then. To be completely honest, you didn’t quite get or understand many things about him ever since you met him, but you didn’t mind, as you thought you’d get used to them or catch onto them in the process. The first time you ever saw Jongup was on the set of a MV making, and you were warned beforehand by some of the staff that had already worked with the B.A.P guys on different other occasions that he was sweet and funny, but… A little out of this world. It wasn’t until he noticed you standing in the corner (as you had nothing to do at that moment) and watching his solo takes getting done that he knew he wanted to talk to you. Right when the first opportunity came up, he fearlessly and cutely did so, making you blush tons and stutter a little in return, as you immediately found him super attractive. It escalated quickly, as the next thing you knew you both were standing on a rooftop, kissing, just a few weeks after you’d met. His hands were shamelessly running up and down your sides, and as you couldn’t bear it anymore, you pulled away and looked him straight in the eyes. “Isn’t this too soon? You barely know me,” you told him, feeling his breath against your skin as he was still so close. Not that you didn’t want this, you just couldn’t help but think this wasn’t completely right. “So? I know everything I wanted and needed to know in order to figure out that I like you, and I’ll learn the rest in the process, if you let me,” his lips were back at an unbearably close distance, teasing you. He let you decide on how this would end, waiting for you to kiss him if you were comfortable with it. And if you weren’t, he was willing to wait, although he hoped oh so much he wouldn’t actually have to do that. A few seconds passed, and right as he thought that you’d decided to pass on the opportunity, your lips were on his, placing a small, shy kiss. He smiled and kissed back in a more bold fashion, putting himself fully out there and letting you know that this was the start of something bigger. That evening, when he drove you home and said his goodbyes, you couldn’t help but wonder what was going on inside his head. You didn’t know if he thought about it a lot or if he didn’t think at all. You didn’t know if he acted upon emotion or if he had planned it. You didn’t know about his intentions, and you didn’t know how he felt, all you knew was that you had managed to fall for someone who was a complete mystery to you in the spawn of a few weeks. It was too early to say that you loved him, but you did like him a lot and you did feel incredibly attracted to him. Plus, the way he kissed you seemed genuine, as if he’d decided he wanted to be with you and didn’t want to experience the horribly long period of just being friends up until he could finally confess and on the same day tell you he loved you. He wanted to jump right into it and trust the fact that you were the right person for him, finding out more about you and letting you find out more about him with every passing day, not wasting any time.    From then on your meetings became a regular thing, and he soon asked you out. Your conversations became longer and kisses became deeper. Cuddles in the evening were a regular thing, and your apartment was a second home to him as he would crash your place often, telling you the guys were bugging him too much in the dorm. Eventually, you had fallen completely, and while sometimes Jongup’s split-second decisions, random things he did or sentences he said seemed odd or unusual to you and you simply didn’t understand it, the thing you knew for sure is that over time you weren’t the only one who had fallen completely. He had fallen too, and now refused to spend a day without you. The sound of footsteps made you realize you were zoning out again, and you looked over at the doorway where you saw Jongup leaving. Again, without explanation. Oh well, you’d gotten used to it by now already. The fact that you’d caught him taking pictures around five times by now but have seen only one of them irritated you slightly, but you tried to shake it off. Jongup came back into the room, this time without the camera, and laid down on the couch next to you, blocking your view of the TV and looking right into your eyes as he laid on his side, his head resting on his arm. “You’re blocking the view,” you told him, seemingly annoyed. “I am the view,” he responded and flashed you a cheeky smile as you playfully hit his chest. “Why are you here anyways? Aren’t you supposed to be in the doorway, silently taking pictures of me from the worst angles at the worst moments?” your remarks had him laughing silently, and even you had to admit that your mood was more on the good side, just like it always was when Jongup was around, but you decided to play annoyed just for a little longer. “For all I know my mouth could be open in a stupid way, or I could be mid-blink, looking ridiculous-” you were cut off by Jongup throwing his arm around you and sliding closer to you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as he held your bodies closer together. “I want cuddles…” is all he said, and, since you knew that you could vent about the pictures for ages and he still wouldn’t care to explain anything and would just laugh at you, he didn’t have to repeat himself. Your arm slowly made it’s way around him and you buried your face in his hair, surprised by how nice it smelled. “Don’t be mad at me,” he said, and you couldn’t believe he was actually as old as he was, because he sounded like a little kid, so innocent and cute. “I’m not, it’s just that you’re acting weird,” you said, stroking his back up and down. He chuckled, and you died a little at the sound of his laughter. What was it about him that had you tied around his finger instantly and made you feel so attracted to him in every situation? You didn’t know. All you knew is that he had a big advantage, and that he would never misuse it. “You’ll find out soon, I promise,” he pressed a kiss on your neck, sending little daggers of pleasure up your skin. Suddenly, after laying still for a few minutes, he flipped both of you over, with you landing on your back and him landing on top of you. You, completely not expecting this, squealed a little. He seemed to think of it as cute as he smiled against your skin, both of his arms resting on the bed on his elbows, and his hands tightly holding your sides. “Yup, I was watching that movie!!” you exclaimed, but in return only got even more squeezed by his tight grip. “Not anymore, now I want cuddles so we’re gonna cuddle,” he told you, and you smiled. You knew that whenever Jongup lacked your attention he would come crawling to you, and wouldn’t leave until he got what he wanted. Not that you ever wanted him to leave, to be honest, and not that you ever denied giving him your full affection and attention. With your free hand you threw a nearby blanket over the two of you, and wrapped your arms tightly around him. “Wish granted,” you said as he lifted his head up to give you a kiss. And then another one. And, hell, if he was at it already, why not some more? Clingy, affectionate Jongup is what you lived for, because he was so cute when he nuzzled his face into your skin, and you felt so warm and safe in his embrace, and at the same time he was so hot when he kissed you hard, not missing a single opportunity to bite down on your lip or start some intense tongue play, his hands roaming your body in the process. His cute and innocent appearance was only a facade, ‘cause the real Jongup could be much more posessive, passionate and demanding when it came to kissing you. As you’d expected, you both fell asleep on the couch, and as you woke up the next morning, you couldn’t help but pout at his absence, the sofa oh so empty without him and your body not squished under his weight. You got up and slowly wandered around the house. It was a free day, so there was no need to hurry. “You’ll find out soon…” you suddenly remembered and repeated the phrase that Jongup had told you yesterday, and furrowed your brows. Find out that he was doing what? No clue. Was it a surprise for you? Again, no clue. Was it just Jongup being weird again? Absolutely no clue. Days upon days passed, and you made sure to pay extra attention to the quiet “clicks” that you would hear whenever he took a picture, but there weren’t any. You’d already forgotten about the whole thing, and remembered about it occasionally, only upon seeing the camera lying around somewhere, because, even if he wasn’t photographing, Jongup was still carrying that thing around with him every so often. It was the last day before B.A.P’s world tour kicked off that you finally found out.  Upon saying your goodbyes and hugging each other for the thousandth time (as well as getting scolded by Himchan who drove to pick Jongup up from your place that they would be late if you both didn’t hurry up), you couldn’t help but slip a single tear when you looked at him. “Hey, babe, why are you crying? I’ll be back in to time,” Jongup smiled and held you, one arm tightly wrapped around you and the other one holding you gently, his hand patting your hair. “I’ll just miss you a lot, Yup. You know I’m a little emotional, so just don’t pay attention to it,” You told him as you cupped his face with your hands. “Go out there and do your best, just like always, and remember that I’ll be watching every single fancam I’ll be able to find,” you told him, and he chuckled at your remark, planting a soft, loving kiss on your lips instead of saying a “thank you” and soon leaving you alone in your apartment. The work day was painfully long, and your apartment felt so empty when you came home and realized there would be no Jongup crashing the place tonight. You took out your phone, ready to type him a text, but then froze. Were you acting clingy? He just left, and you already missed him, knowing that the feeling would only progress during the next few weeks. You decided you’d still wait for a bit, or just wait for him to text first when suddenly your phone screen lit up and your notification sound made you slightly jump. “Hope you’re having a nice evening, because I’m about to make it even nicer,” you read the text out loud and thought “wow, arrogant, but interesting”. Before you could type that or anything else, another message popped up. “Open the second drawer in your bedroom commode and facetime me afterwards. See ya,” you looked at the kissy emoji he had attached to the message, and simply answered with a “Yessir!”. Curious, but with an idea in mind, you made your way to the said commode and opened the drawer, just to see something familiar casually lying there on top of your clothes. You sat down on the bed, admiring Jongup’s little surprise. A bunch of polaroids put together in a little stack, tied together with a big, red ribbon. Your fingers slid over the upper picture carefully as you inhaled deeply, hoping you were prepared for what was about to follow. The ribbon fell on your lap, and you started looking at the pictures. There were dozens of them, and the further you got, the more scared of Jongup you became. You’d caught him snapping only a few of these, six at most, but here were so many more, all of them showing you doing different things. You wondered how you never noticed him taking this many pictures, and how on point his sneaking up skills were. You recognized most of the moments pictured, and some of them you could recall clearly. There were pictures of you cooking, pictures of you rolled up in blankets and watching movies. There were pictures of you singing and pictures of you laughing. He took pictures of you ordering coffee at your favorite coffee shop, and he took pictures of you simply walking on the street and pulling him along by his hand. He took photos of your field trips and tiny vacations, where in one of them you could be seen standing in the middle of a field and laughing hard, a beautiful smile on your lips as your hair swayed in the wind. He took photos of you all dressed up in your formal attire, in the dresses that he loved the most and always admired. He took photos of you doing your favorite hobbies, and, embarrassingly enough, he took a photo of you sitting in what seemed to be the kitchen and, with only the back of your head with headphones on and your hand that was holding your phone visible, it still wasn’t hard to tell that you were watching B.A.P’s live performances. You felt a little bit less embarrassed when you saw “so damn cute” written in Jongup’s handwriting on the picture, and sighed with relief. He had taken so many pictures, and most of the times you hadn’t even noticed. And what surprised you the most was that, even though you weren’t aware that Jongup was taking pictures of you, you still looked good in all of them. Was it his newfound ability to take pictures well, or was it you who managed to look good from all of these angles? You couldn’t quite believe the latter, but part of you wanted to. You froze at the last picture, as it was one of you and Jongup, with both of you cuddling and your face buried somewhere in his chest. It looked like you’d already fallen asleep at this point. He was smiling sheepishly, as if saying “oh I’m SO sneaky, you don’t even know,” as he rested his head on top of yours and held you tightly. An arrow was drawn at the bottom of the picture, so you turned it around. “Babe, you’re beautiful in every way, no matter when or where and no matter what you’re doing. If only you saw it the same way I see it, but, since you don’t maybe these pictures will help. I’m glad to call you mine. And what’s even more important, I love you. - Yup,” you read out loud and felt the need to curl up in a ball on the bed and stare at those words for a little longer, as your heart was about to jump out of your chest and your brain was incapable of processing things the right way. He knew you were self-conscious. At first he joked about it, but when he saw you always worrying about the way you looked and always feeling like you looked ugly, he knew he had to do something about it, and, when this idea came to mind, he simply couldn’t resist. But whats caught your attention the most was the last sentence. “And what’s even more important, I love you. - Yup.” If there was one thing he was hesitant about, it was telling you he loved you. You knew he had strong feelings when it came to your relationship, but he’s never said these three words to you, and you hadn’t told him either, simply because of how shy you were. But now they were out of his mouth, and you laid there, suddenly missing his arms around you and the taste of his mouth even more than you already did. Your hands reached for your phone, and you searched for him in your contacts list. “Don’t tell me you’re crying again, that was meant to be a sweet surprise,” Jongup said as he answered the call and saw your face. “C'mon, let me tear up a bit, that was beautiful,” you told him as he smiled brightly, correcting you with a cheesy comment that said “no, you mean you are beautiful, right?” “So that means you love me, yeah?” he was about to say something, but you cut him off, showing him the back of the photo he had written on. His facial expression shifted a bit, showing surprise, but he smiled at you after a second. “Of course I do, but I’m not too sure if you love me. You’ve never told me that before-” “Hey, you hadn’t told me either up until now, okay?! You didn’t even tell me now, you wrote it down on a polaroid!" you exclaimed happily, trying to defend yourself, but he just kept smiling and looking at you. "Okay, fair enough. Hey, (Y/N).” “Hmm?” “I love you, (Y/N). A lot,” he told you, looking straight into your eyes, and you smiled. “I love you too, Yup. With all of my heart,” you saw him smiling brightly, and felt good for being the reason behind his smile. ”Isn’t it too soon?” he bugged you, mimicking your tone from when you shared your first kiss. You’d usually sass him back, but happiness had taken over your whole body, and you simply couldn’t bring yourself to do it. ”It isn’t, I’ve learned enough about you to figure out that I love you, and the rest I will find out in the process, if you let me,” you told him as you two were smiling like madmen. Loud noises appeared in the background, and Jongup turned his head around, looking at what was happening. “I have to go now, but we’ll talk soon enough, I promise. I can’t wait to hear those words in person, by the way,” he said. “Which words? I love you?” you teased, and literally anyone could tell that on the other end of the line, Jongup was melting on the inside because of pleasant but previously inexperienced emotions. “Exactly. Okay, babe, please get some rest and try to have some confidence, because, as you probably already saw, you are beautiful. Good night,” he blew you a funny kiss, and you responded the same way, laughing loud and waving goodbye as well. “I never know what you’re up to, but that makes being in love with you so exciting..” you quietly said to yourself as you laid on the bed and faced the ceiling. If all of this was a dream and you would have to wake up soon, you would be very disappointed. So you laid there, thinking about him and hoping this wasn’t too good to be true.