#baby girl i love yooooooou <3

[birthofvcnus]

thinking abt him

[mrclubbyaggy]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! 🎈Now, here’s a letter to myself. 🌷

Dear Clubby,

It’s been 29 years now that you’ve been alive. This was a long bumpy road. We’ve had some ups and unfortunately quite a few downs. Throughout those years you’ve learned about yourself and who you really are. It took you some time to understand yourself but eventually you accepted that person wholeheartedly. And now, there is nothing but self-love. Sure, you might still be an awful lot insecure. But you know who you truly are and that’s the most important part. Now, you know that you are a little bit weird but that’s ok. You are maybe a little bit skinny-fat but that’s ok. You are a little bit flawed but that’s ok. You are a little bit behind compared to some others regarding your love life but that’s ok. You are also very much alone sometimes but that’s ok. You’re a little bit all over the place regarding your creativity and artistry and therefore you cannot really have what people would call a “real job” but that’s ok. You have dreams that are sometimes bigger than this universe but that’s ok.

Everything is ok.

Because even though you’re a little bit weird, you manage to put a smile on your own face and also on other people’s faces even! You might have some flaws here and there that keep you up at night just wondering and worrying. But you also know that perfection doesn’t exist and you’re ok with that. Now, let’s talk about love baby haha! Well, one thing that’s for sure is that you know what you want and you’re willing to protect what’s yours and I wholeheartedly respect that. And I know that there is someone out there that will understand you and that will understand the reason why you’re keeping this gift to yourself. Also I know that particular someone will also get what you mean by “gift” because you know, he’ll be your special someone so he’ll be somewhat smart and figure this sentence out haha I know that you’ve struggled an awful lot with friendships, but eventually it was for the better. Now you know how important friendships really are. You know that you have to be careful but you also know that the one’s you’ve given your friendship to are worth it. And you’ll forever cherish their love and laughters. Regarding your mind and your idea of the perfect job, I know that it’s been hard on you to have what we call a “creative mind”. You are a little bit all over the place: You want to do anything and everything. But if there’s something that I’ve learned from you is that “you can do what you put your mind to”. Just look at all the different things that you’ve mastered or are still mastering. Remember when you said that you couldn’t host to save your life and that the only thing that you could host was school events & kiddie parties? Now look at all of the amazing events you’ve done those past few years, especially those past few months. You’ve come a long way from hosting school events & kiddie parties and I’m proud of you!

Dreams, you have an awful lot of them. Which is weird considering that you don’t dream at night. Maybe you do but you never actually remember them. That’s because your dreams are to be envisioned and seen when you’re awake. You’re still not living the dream per say but your dreams are on their way to reality. They are going to come true, eventually. And that is because you are a strong guy. You have the ability to keep going even if you’re walking through hell. You’re resilient, you’re persistent, you’re ambitious, you’re smart, you’re strong, you’re determined and most of all you’re very capable of making all of your dreams come true. That much is true. And I believe in you! So who cares if you don’t have a “normal job” or a job that society would much prefer you have? You’re not here to be “normal” or to be/do what society tells you to be/do. You’re creating your own path and living YOUR life and that’s what’s important. If you told 9-year-old Clubby that you’d be here today saying all those words to yourself, he wouldn’t believe you. So thank you for becoming someone that he could look up to. Someone he could look forward to become. It is definitely hard for him back in 2009 but deep down he knows that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Even 29-year-old Clubby is going through a tunnel as we speak but you’re closer to the other side than you’d think. Chin up baby girl! You’ve still got a long way to go. But right now I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. You’ve become someone that I never knew you could be. Maybe deep down you knew who you were meant to be and I thank you for listening to what was deep down inside of you. Thank you for becoming the person you were meant to be and not what society wanted you to be. Thank you for not letting others decide who you should be, what you should do, how you should look like and who you should love. Thank you for being your own person. And also thank you for the love and acceptance that you give to others. Thank you for loving their differences. And thank you for trying to show not only to yourself but to others how to be a human being full of light, love, laughter and so much more! I wish you a very happy birthday and a happy life! I know that you’re going to do some great things in life! You still have a lot to learn but the journey ahead looks quite exciting! Also don’t procrastinate and don’t hate yourself too much please! Thaaaank yooooooou.

Much love,

Clubby 💜

February 05, 1990

Aquarius

3:00am