#babyogaard🥰

[unrequited-words]

January 7/8 2023

Work was pretty slow for the most part. I made a good day of sales. I opted out of approved overtime because I was tired and slept like shit. Baby didn’t nap and after work I asked her if she wanted to go on a walk and she said no. She was too immersed in Sesame Street. I didn’t go on a walk by myself because for the past several days I’ve been waiting on this cyst to finally burst on my left side. I’ve been using the heating pad anytime I get a chance because the mattress we have is a pile of shit. She has been a fucking nightmare. Defiant, and just a shithead overall. I love my kid no doubt about it but this is me venting on how fucking aggravating she is. We put her to bed after a warm bath about 830 and within ten minutes she is out. I think I fell asleep around nine or ten.

About five I woke up and went back to sleep. Around eight she woke up and I got up and gave her a drink and put on paw patrol. I laid back down and finally around nine this morning (Sunday, 1/8) I got up with her while her dad slept (lucky bastard) I had half a bacon sandwich for breakfast. I moved my phone, water bottle and took my PV with me to the other room. Not sure when he woke up. I went to get her a snack this morning and realized the bananas are going bad and I made banana bread.

Not sure when I took a nap but in that time she sprayed her juice all over the carpet. We rent and that was fun to clean. Zod shampooed the entire house that’s carpeted and we disciplined her. I shredded the chicken he made last night from the crockpot and he seasoned it. I have some to her and had a sandwich. Afterwards I napped for a whole 20 minutes!111 😤

That’s when she became a fucking terrorist and he had to shampoo the house because of this little shithead 😑 the banana bread gave me some awesome heartburn I made some ramen for dinner and of course she painted the walls with it. I’m so fucking over this fucking destructive behavior. No matter what we do she honestly doesn’t give a f flying fuck and no fuck gentle parenting

She’s been given water with tiny ice cubes to drink. No more juices or punch.

I have had the worst fucking migraine. I chalk it up to stress, my back, my cysts, and this wonderful migraine. I took some medication for it with a cold beer and a hot bath which helped. After the bath, it came back with a vengeance. It’s 8:30 pm and I can’t wait for bedtime in the next hour.

This beer is helping me forget about getting older. I looked all afternoon to find a therapist that takes my insurance and I am just so fucking mad. They don’t work on my days off and they’re all men who don’t specialize in PPD/anxiety/and women’s issues. This fucking sucks. I need just an hour or two to myself and if I could just escape for a few hours alone I’d call that a fucking vacation.

Tomorrow (1/9/23 Monday) more than likely I’ll work overtime. We need it and it’s a nice cushion. This week it’s an extra ten on top of what I make and bonus. I’m just tired of working overtime even on my days off. It could be worse, I could be still living with his brother and bitch of a sister in law where she’d watch us in the kitchen. Glad we have had our freedom back for almost three years.

Ignore this post. I’m just a bitter ole’ bitch

[unrequited-words]

Update in the last almost 24 hours

515 water started leaking... Waited a few minutes, and realized that ain't pee. Currently at the hospital being monitored. As of today Friday the 17th I am 30 weeks 5 days. I'm having a preemie. She weighs 3 lbs 4 ozs, and she still is inside of me. No signs of active labor. Depending on how things go I may be here another 4 weeks and deliver at 34 weeks or, have her depending on what my doctor says.