#back porch drafthouse

[getoutofthisplace]

Dear Gus & Magnus,

Bryan and I drove to Lawton today for a video shoot at a STEM camp over the next couple of days. I'm doing my best to be healthy, but food options in this town on a Monday night are bleak. I got a bar food salad and forewent any drinking. I can feel the pounds falling off of me. (No I can't. And Bryan's burger looked way better than my salad.)

Dad.

Lawton, Oklahoma. 7.11.2022 - 6.13pm.

[icleanedthisplate]

Farm to Market Salad. Back Porch Drafthouse. Lawton, Oklahoma. 7.11.2022.

NOTE TO SELF: Every bar's attempt at a healthy offering.

Currently ranked 2nd of six July meals.

[merianmoriarty]

Server Movie Synopsis: Barbarian

*AN: Keep in mind that these synopses will contain spoilers and may not be complete, as I rarely see the entire movie while serving for it.  These synopses are just going to be fast impressions of an Alamo Drafthouse server.  Also, I meant to post this one a week ago and kept forgetting to...*

Homegirl (her name is Tess) came to Detroit at night with no raincoat or umbrella.  You couldn’t have clicked your weather app and found out how dumb an idea that was?  Dude already in the AirBnB looks pretty sketch.  Oh, at least he understands that he seems sketch.  Creeper’s name is Keith.

Woman: “Life as a woman is hard and scary and dangerous.” Man: “That hasn’t been my experience.”  But srsly, it’s Important To The Story that she tells him she has experience freaking out quietly.  Look at us bonding over wine!  Beddy-bye.  Mama kiss you goodnight (wat i did not sign up for turn down service).  Spoooooooky.

Job interview that brought her here in the first place goes great, good job, awesome.  Interviewer is like “so where u stayin girl?” and Tess is like “oh this shady brokedown neighborhood on the edge of town.” You staying in the nasty part of town, child.  Neighborhood by daylight!  Oh damn, interview lady wasn’t kidding, this place straight-up abandoned.  Everything about the house looks nice except the front door and front porch (both are grimy with worn paint while everything else looks fresh), dun-dun-duuuuuuun.

Scary hobo tells her to stay outside, no, no, come back outside right now lady, heyyyyyyy.  No cops coming, Tess--Detroit got hella crime and you in a shitty neighborhood.  No TP?  Maybe check the spooky basement.  Ta-daaaaa.  Door closed on its own and now it’s locked whaaaaaaat.  Is that a rope coming through a hole in the wall?  Yes, pull it, good job, idiot.  Secret creepy doorway revealed! +10 Gamer Points

Nope.

Smartest thing you’ve done all day--aaaaaand you’re just reflecting some light down the creepy-ass tunnel before you go in.  Creepy Keith to the rescue!  (How tho? I missed how he got into the house, but whatev...maybe the back door was open?)

Ope, his dumbass vanish.  Oh shit he crying for help, that’s a trap for sure, but let’s keep walking.  Why are you still going, U DON’T EVEN KNOW THIS GUY, YOU CAN GO AND BRING COPS OR FIREMEN OR SOMETHING.  Oh, there he is.  SCARY NAKED SCREAMY LADY!

New dude!  AJ Gilbride.  Everything we learn makes him more and more of a douche.  “Did you rape her?” “We fucked.  But she needed convincing.” Please die. Drunk dialing his victim, real charming.  “I’m not even mad at you about it.”  Wowwwwwwww, hurry up and go down into the basement, you skeevy prick.  Squatters in my basement how dare!  Hmmmm, how can I use this basement to fuck over prospective home buyers and get more money?

Oh flashback.  Ah, yes, this guy always plays creeps (geometry says his face is suited for it because his cheeks are gaunt and his brows are low on a forehead with a pronounced widow’s peak--The More You Know!).  Talks his way into a house, leaves bathroom window unlatched--actual B&E strategy.  What’s in the truuuuunk???  Into the basement.  Screaming girl but nobody gonna hear that.

AJ, meet Tess.  If you must freak out, pls do so quietly.  AJ does not freak out quietly.  AJ, meet Mama.  Baby bottle drinky drinky.  Ope, he too loud, time for one-on-one parenting.  Run, Tess, ruuuuuuuun.

Scary hobo knows what’s what.  Mama comes out at night, but the water tower has been his Safe Space for fifteen years.  No, Tess has to call the cops and go rescue this guy she just met!  LOL Tess looks like a druggie, ain’t nobody gonna believe her.  Cops won’t help?  Tess has Little Red Hen syndrome...  Yeah, totally got Mama!  Save AJ!  Mama is no longer there and now we have no getaway vehicle!  Run to the water tower!  Ah, we’re safe here, been safe here for fifteen--ope, nevermind.  (We Have Had 0 Days Since Our Last Wookiee-Style Beat-Down!)  WELL TESS IT’S YOU OR ME AND OBVIOUSLY IT CAN’T BE ME BECAUSE I’M THE BEST EVEN THOUGH I SHOT YOU IN A FIT OF PARANOIA SO I’M GONNA JUST THROW YOU OFF THE WATER TOWER AND HOPE MAMA DIVES AFTER HER BABY.

Oh look, Mama broke your fall.  You’re not dead, great.   I didn’t try to kill you, it was a premeditated accident.  MAMA WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE BAD MAN.

Bang.  *cue Be My Baby by The Ronettes* (yes really)

Featuring white boys doing the dumb, a black woman who should know better, the Night King himself, and a huge mess that will not need to be explained because someone will just write it off to drug violence because Detroit.  The Moral of Today’s Story Is:  men think they’re not being threatening but at the most primal level of perception they absolutely are and a woman who hasn’t been socialized to shut up and take it will react with lethal violence.  A very slow starter, feels much longer than it is, not a particularly satisfying ending (not in the “what the hell kind of ending was that?” sense but more of a “...*blink blink*...huh...” sense).

[beardedd0nut]

Chillin and killin

Alright alright alright. It's been a while yes, I got busy then for a little while I got drunk, then I got tired so sue me here's the newest update. Bongripper in Chicago was fucking sweet as. Just a visceral assault of noise from them for a good hour and a half. The band's before weren't too bad, minus the ones that looked like they had a Neo Nazi for a vocalist. But yeah Bongripper were on another level, yet if you'd have given me a need to sleep in at that show I easily would've taken a nap. Flying out the next day we might early but well worth it as I was getting back to Texas. Austin treated me amazingly well from the get go, minus the raging humidity. Got in and the room was ready so I dumped all my shit got a list of places to go from the front desk and immediately ignored it and went to Allen's boots. The aroma of that place hits you before anything else. Tones of leather. The strongest thickest leather smell lingers in the air and it's incredible. As per usual my shallow pockets couldn't keep up with my high hopes so instead of boots I got the next best Texas thing. A big ass belt buckle. Great belt as well, should've gotten two. The evening was followed with a nice pub crawl of people at the hostel. Only about 5 or 6 of us but the conversation and friendliness of every was great. We got back at two, though I'm not quite sure how and the next day was a touch groggy. That was all good though as the cure we just around the corner. And by corner I mean like a 15 minute drive in fasten, basically uber but somehow feels seedier. Black's BBQ, as per I was told to go to, is the literal incarnation of heaven on earth. The brisket is to die for. I legitimately would've been happy if I never ate again after that meal. Then I had to walk it off lest I wound up in a food coma never to leave Black's again. The evening for me held 2 films at the incredible Ritz Alamo Drafthouse. Good service straight to your seat, one warning then expulsion for people on phones or taking during the movie. It was also a beautiful old theatre but fuck it was nice not hearing people talk or get distracting during a film. The First film was called stalker. A Russian distopian-esque Sci Fi art film. It was a good watch and nicely shot, even if I'm not fully sure what it was about. I think it was much more about humanity and belief and the psyche more than the storyline portrayed but it'd need more watches. The second film was escape from New York. Classic, still not my favourite carpenter, but undeniable in its pop culture rooting. The following day consisted of chilling out at the hostel with some new friends. Seeing alien covenant, it was meh. Felt more like a 3 film in a 4 part series than a sequel. And then more drinking. It was a bad move. A bigger pub crawl was had with drinking games beforehand and needles to say when though my flight wasn't till 1i was still feeling the hangover when I hit Denver. The hostel I stayed at in Austin was really great though. Couldn't recommend it enough, right off 6th Street so if you're keen to party is prime real estate. Great helpful staff to hang out with, and just full of awesome people from round the world getting up to different shenanigans around town. Denver day one saw me getting over the hangover. Wandering to an ATM that wound up being in a hospital, that was awkward as fuck. Then the thing I'd been waiting all weekend for Vulfpeck. I can not speak more highly about Vulfpeck and their opener Joey Dosik. They are all incredibly talented musicians floating around the stage between organs and drums and guitars and saxophones. Their technical prowess along with their ability to hold a crowd was spectacular. I'm so happy I got to see them and happier still that we got two encores and I got a signature from Joey at the end of the show. Second day in Denver I hit up the art museum. Started breakfast with Voodoo donuts, more like cakes than donuts if I'm perfectly honest. The museum was really nice. Decked out with multiple levels of contemporary and classic art it has something for everyone. Their native American art exhibit is just breathtaking. So much culture and each group different from the last. The main reason I went was to see the western in film exhibition. It was all about you guessed it western movies, but it also showed how the films came about and hour the directors we're inspired by the paintings of years gone by. The artwork before the film side of things is stunning, so much life had been captured in the paint that at times they liked more realistic then some photographs. The film stuff was also really cool and immediately The iconic shots you know and love can be seen to have its roots in the artwork. The western is a genre I haven't seen enough of, but is something that I think at this I will have to explore further and come at from a different angle than I had before. After watching a hobo brawl break out in front of the museum I cruised down to 16th Street mall and got some food at another recommendation, Henry's tavern. The food was delicious, a pulled pork burger topped with fried egg and jalapenos. If I had the right crew with me however the afternoon would've been very messy as I saw the amount of beer on tap. I'm guessing probably 40 +. The bought had consisted of more chills with some new peeps at the guest house I'm staying in. Good times, great classic hits, sitting on a porch. I'm enjoying Denver so far, but it's also nothing like it expected. The people are great, but the city itself feels a little weird. Anyway I've got a couple shenanigans planned for tomorrow then it's off to Portland disgustingly early Friday. Catchyas later.

[icleanedthisplate]

Dine-Out Meals of July 2022, Ranked

I ranked the following based on taste alone. I made no consideration for ambiance or the general dining experience or whatever. I included meals I got to go. I included food trucks, catered meals, and fast food.

That Salmon will make the top 10 list, I assume.

Should you be interested in the pictures or reading the few words I had to say about each meal, click on the home page and scroll down or see the archives.

Salmon with Chorizo-Corn Hash. Pecan Point Brewing Company. Texarkana, Texas. 7.15.2022.

Bacon Wrapped Dates, Watermelon Ceviche (shared apps), Grilled Pork Loin, Chocolate Delet (?). Fox Hill Restaurant. Wichita Falls, Texas. 7.13.2022.

Smoked Pepper Pimento Cheese (shared), Health Nut Grain Bowl w/Steak. Local Yocal BBQ & Grill. McKinney, Texas. 7.14.2022.

Sushi Rolls (Kiss Me, Kemuri, Furakaki) (Shared all). Kemuri. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.17.2022.

Oysters (shared), Gumbo. The Oyster Bar. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.20.2022.

Meatloaf w/Broccoli & Rice Casserole and Black-Eyed Peas. Platnum BBQ (River Market). Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.26.2022.

Chicken Parmesan Sandwich, Caesar Salad (to go). Raduno. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.29.2022.

John’s Favorite Salad. The Silver Spoon. Lawton, Oklahoma. 7.12.2022.

John’s Favorite Salad. The Silver Spoon. Lawton, Oklahoma. 7.13.2022.

Frontier Burger w/Sweet Fries. North Bar. North Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.6.2022.

Farm to Market Salad. Back Porch Drafthouse. Lawton, Oklahoma. 7.11.2022.

Pastor Classico Tacos w/Rice & Beans. Camp Taco. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.8.2022.

Gyoza (shared), Sweet & Spicy Shrimp. Sura Korean Kitchen. Lawton, Oklahoma. 7.12.2022.

Grilled Shrimp Fajitas w/Charro Beans & Elote. Blue Goose Cantina. Frisco, Texas. 7.14.2022.

Mushroom Swiss Chicken w/Watermelon, Fried Okra, Cucumber Salad. Sallie’s Café. Checotah, Oklahoma. 7.11.2022.

The Florentine (Benedict). Red Door. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.21.2022.

Lunch Catering. Taziki’s. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.7.2022.

Turkey Fig Jam Sandwich. Mylo Coffee Co. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.18.2022.

Avocado Toast. Mylo Coffee Co. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.18.2022.

Continental Breakfast. Fairfield Inn & Suites by Marriott. Lawton, Oklahoma. 7.12.2022. (No Photo)

Continental Breakfast. Fairfield Inn & Suites by Marriott. Lawton, Oklahoma. 7.13.2022. (No Photo)

Bacon, Gouda, & Egg Sandwich. Starbucks. Frisco, Texas. 7.15.2022.

Red Pepper Sous Vide Egg Bites. Starbucks (Midtown). Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.11.2022.

Red Pepper Sous Vide Egg Bites. Starbucks. Frisco, Texas. 7.14.2022. (No Photo.)