#back to daisiies roots

[fieldofdaisiies]

Hold Me In Your Arms, I Need Your Love

Azriel x Reader; just a little comfort fic for Azriel, no warnings.

You knew it the moment you opened the door. You knew that he needed to be in your arms tonight, to be held, but what you didn’t know was how broken he truly was after that mission. How much the mission he had been on had destroyed him and shredded his heart apart.

Azriel stumbles through the door, blood—hopefully not his own—still coating his hands and his Illyrian leathers. "Y/N, I…" he begins, but his voice breaks, his strong mask shattering the moment his arms wrap around you and he pulls you close.

You curl your own arms around his broad torso, holding him gently. His whole body is trembling, shaking so hard you can feel it in your bones. "It’s alright," you whisper against his neck, your palms placed gently on his back. "I’m here. I got you."

He clings to you as if you are his lifeline, his breaths coming in ragged gasps. You can feel the weight of his pain, of what he has experienced, and it breaks your heart to see him like this. You hold him tighter, hoping to offer some comfort, some comfort in the midst of his anguish. You become his anchor, a place of comfort, all the strength he needs to keep going and fighting against the demons in his mind that have formed during the mission. 

Minutes pass, but you stay there, wrapped in each other's arms, the world around you forgotten. Slowly, his trembling begins to ease, his breathing becoming more even, as if your presence alone is enough to calm him down. 

You feel a small hint of relief bloom in your heart and press a gentle kiss to his temple, murmuring soft words of comfort, letting him know that he is not alone anymore, that you are here for him, with him.

And only after another few minutes, you decide that it's alright to step away. Only as much as is needed to gently guide him to the couch, supporting him as he walks, never leaving his side, his weight heavy on you.

"Come here,“ you tell him as you help him sit down, ensuring he is comfortable with his large wings. Azriel lets himself sink into the cushions, his shoulders slouching as he lifts his gaze to you.

"Should I run you a bath?“ you ask softly.

"I would just like to lie down. Can I bathe tomorrow?“ Azriel asks, his voice so terribly hoarse and you nod. Of course, it would be alright.

"But at least, let’s get you out of these." Carefully you help him slip out of  his jacket, easing it off his shoulders, the fabric stained and stiff with dried blood. You will wash it for him tomorrow.

Not because you are the female and some of the Night Court citizens still think it’s a female’s duty to do so, but because you want to. You want to help him and be there for him and not let him be reminded of his mission again once he has to wash his clothes.

You place the jacket on the floor behind the couch, before you crouch down in front of him and unlace his boots, then slide them off and set them aside as well. 

Next you unbuckles his belt—it’s something that would always make him make a dirty remark, or at least smirk. Not this time. Tonight he only smiles weakly as he watches you remove his belt. 

"Now, you may lift your hips for me, Az,“ you tell him with a small, and tiny mischievous smile, knowing it will ease the tension a little more. It’s something he has said to you too many times already—always under different circumstances however. 

Azriel hums lowly as he follows your lead and a bit of colour returns to his face, to his cheeks. You help him out of his trousers, always mindful of any injuries. When he is left only in his underwear, you brush your fingers over his skin, making sure there are no too big wounds that need to be taken care of immediately. But he seems alright, except for a few, small scratches there’s no injury on his body. 

For a moment, you have to leave him alone, Azriel’s empty eyes and his pout following you all the way to the bathroom where you collect a basin of warm water and a soft washcloth. 

You dip the washcloth into the basin, wringing out the excess water, then you move the cloth over his exposed skin, making sure all the blood and grime is washed off, your movements calm and deliberate.

Carefully you clean his arms, his scarred hands before rinsing the cloth again, making sure it remains clean as you continue on to his face, his hair. 

As you wipe it across his cheek, and brush a stray lock of hair from his forehead, you ask, "Do you want to talk about it? The mission.“

Azriel gives his head a soft shake, and catches your hand. He brings it to his lips and kisses your palm. "Not yet. I just want to be here with you, Y/N. In your arms.“

Sometimes he can’t talk about the missions or the job he had to do immediately. Sometimes it takes him hours, or even days to process everything and of course, you give him this time. You want him to open up and talk to you, but you would never push him or force him to do so. He should always take as much time as he needs.

You dip your chin in acknowledgement, then dry his skin with a soft towel, before you have to leave him alone again for a bit to dispose of the dirty water and cloths.

When you return to him, you notice he is already fighting against his sleepiness, his lids fluttering closed every now and then. You quickly wrap a soft blanket around him, tucking it gently around him, always mindful of his wings and as you sit down beside him, you pull him to you. 

"I’m so glad to have you back, Az," you whisper against his now damp hair, pecking the top of his head quickly. "I missed you.“

Azriel snuggles into your chest and blows out a long breath. "You have no idea how much I missed you, my love. And how much I needed this."

You gently brush your fingers through his hair before you shift on the couch, so he can lay down on top of you, his face softly pressed against your cleavage.

“Every night I thought about you, about wanting to hold you in my arms, wanting to fall asleep with you in my arms.” 

Azriel is normally not one to talk much, so when he does you know he really means every little word he says, wants you to hear and know it. You know he often wants to make up for the time missed, the time you could have spent together hadn’t he been on a mission, although you always assure him that he doesn’t need to make up for it. That he doesn’t need to apologise–it’s his job, his duty, and you would never blame him for it.

“I did too,” you honestly tell him, letting your fingers dance down to the nape of his neck and even further down between his shoulder blades. You will massage his back tomorrow, you tell yourself when you feel the tension in his muscles.

“But now I have you back and everything is good.”

He hums and his breath is warm against your skin, tickling you a little. 

Moving your hand up again, you gently run your fingers through his hair. With a loud sigh, Azriel nestles more into you, his breathing slowing as he begins to drift off. The large Illyrian is not a light-weight but having him rest or sleep on top of you is simply a wonderful feeling, one you would never want to miss. It’s like a tight embrace, a big and warm hug and you love it.

You can feel how his body begins to relax more and more as he gives himself to the peace and comfort you provide him with. Finally he can calm down. 

And so he does, slowly falling asleep on top of you, your hands still caressing his hair.  And right before he truly enters the land of dreams, his eyes already tightly shut, his lips on your skin, he mumbles, “I love you, Y/N. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to … me…”

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tags (crossed-out I couldn't tag) : @juulle987 @marimorena06 @danikasthings @younxii @nightcourtwritings @mrofontaine @lunalilyf @whor-3-crux @tired-all-the-time @anni-was-here @ummmmmwat @azbracadabra @j-pendragonx @hollyismentallyillhelp @famousbasementpainter @bsenpai @lena-davina @red-highlady @thesugatoyourtae @azrielsbabyg @aroseinvelaris @moony-thoughts @wrensical003 @cherryjain17 @moonfawnx @crushedcloudsx @devilsfoodcake22  @valeridarkness @azrielscertifiedslut @mulansaucey @cynicalpotato95 @hanasakr @high-bi-andreadytocry @eerievixen @feyretopia @moonlightazriel @randomness-it-is @brekkershadowsinger @eliieee23 @girasoli-e-sorrisi @illyrianvalkyriecarynthian  @kennedy-brooke @highladyofillyria @theworthlessqueen @marina468 @topaz125 @illyrian-dreamer @azriels-mate123 @eos-princess @courtofjurdan @a-frog-with-a-laptop @insufferablebookaddict @cadiawrites @bookishbroadwaybish @tele86 @fuckingsimp4azriel @kissesfromnovalie